Thursday, January 10, 2008

Right time to go?

Well today was a bright sunny day. Morning I had to go out some where for a couple of chores with my room mate. Generally I get to office by 11:30 in the morning, for which I start from home at around 10:30. But today my room mate and I stepped out of the house at 10 and went ahead to the place where we had to get some bills etc done.

The morning was nice and pleasant. Though it was very bright, it was nt hot. It was just the perfect kinda morning which makes a spring season. Yea January is too early to have spring, but then, who has control over weather.
And as I got a chance to savor the weather for some time( rushing to office and scooting back really does nt give one any time at all to enjoy nature), I thought, I am gonna miss these days, this weather, this feeling of being responsible, with no family but friends acting as your support system. I am gonna miss these days of missing home but still some how surmounting them and finding solace in something. I have been out of touch with being at home. I am not sure how I am gonna find it.

As my room mate and I were getting our bills done, we were on with some chit chat. I love the personal interactions I have with her. Its not that we spill out our hearts to each other, but once in a while, some moments, we just talk about personal stuff. And we really connect. She never speaks nonsense, which is the most endearing quality about her. God bless you roomie dear. Before moving into the house, the person who had referred to this place had said, "No matter what, that girl is a gem of a person." And I vouch for that statement.
We came to office in an auto. All the while I was loving the sunny breeze. It was a weather which can make any one a poet( presuming he/she has tastes like mine :P)

And when we took the final turn to office, I remembered last year when I had come to Hyderabad as a tourist, I had come to an arts and crafts villa near office with a friend of mine. And at that turn I had asked her to buy guavas for me. Today also there was a guava vendor with some really wonderful wares. The image of the evening a year back flashed in front of my eyes in a jiffy. I became nostalgic.

Some how touchwood, I feel I am blessed with respect to the friends I have. God bless ya all wonderful people.

Work was as usual in office today when towards the afternoon my counsellor ( thats the term used for the person doing the appraisal in my firm. He s not just an appraiser, he is a counsellor in the literal sense of the term whom you can reach out to for any kinda professional help) introduced me to a girl who had joined our firm today itself. He asked me to help her get her bearings.

I went for a cup of coffee with her. We were going on with the random facts of how to get stuff done in office. The conversation then veered to me going on a vacation from next week and leaving the firm by March or so. And she seemed so crest fallen. Its human tendency to look upto the person you are introduced to on the first day in office as a friend. But when I mentioned I would be leaving in some months, I could sense how weird she might have felt. Even I had felt a nice vibe with her from the word Go. Pity I am leaving in some time.

As we were going back to our respective desks she mentioned, wish you were here for some more time, we would have caught up with each other, but you are leaving :( .

It was just the same when I had left my previous company as well. I ended up having a good friend only towards the fag end of my tenure.
I very well remember the last day of mine at my previous firm. There was to be some grand celebration. I dont remember for what. And there was a red carpet laid out and all.

And I had smsed K "Know what, I am leaving and here they have laid out a red carpet for me to go. Bozos! " And he had replied,"Hehe Red carpet. Go on Doggy. You gonna love Hyd".

I did love it. And now time for bye bye :(

Wish I had to leave places when things were down and out rather than looking bright.

I wish there was a right time to everything. But guess there is not. Things happen when they should happen. Not when we want them to happen. Hai na?



This song kept coming again and again as I was writing this post.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

CAT - Over and OUT


This goes out to all the people before they start asking me my CAT score. Got a paltry 81.27% ile. Leaves me heading to no where.

So am I sad? Not exactly. I feel like a lost warrior. I fought I lost. Hmm but I did nt give in in between. I fought till the whistle was blown thrice.

Did I give in my best? Hmm... Tough question. Aint sure. If I look back maybe I could have tried a bit harder, but then, No ones died of hard work, but why take chances? :-D

I had some visions of the year ahead, under the presumption that I would be clearing the exams. Guess those visions get to go back to the Archive folder in my memory management system. Now its time to start creating new visions.

As soon as I got the result and was discussing the same with mom and my first impulse was to say "Mom I will give it again."
She was like "What the hell... Will you keep giving it ad infinitum. Ridiculous. Stay put. Try to concentrate on your new job from hence forth."

Then I realized, Yea that makes sense actually. I should know my limits. By giving the exam again and again and again whom am I trying to prove that I am a determined person? And I have always believed in the saying, "You get what you deserve, not what you want". So maybe those elite IIMs are too grand a dream for me.

If I look at the positives, not clearing CAT irons out quite a lot of troublesome months of decision making on the personal and professional front. I just have a straight path now with no future probable quandaries regarding the road not taken.



So heres me, the optimist, still believing, whatever happens, happens for the good only.....

Monday, January 7, 2008

I am Amrita




What Amrita Means



You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.



You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.

You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.

You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!



You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.



You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.



You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life.

You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home.

You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

Anddddddd if I am Cherrie then......



What Cherrie Means



You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.



You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.



You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.



You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.







You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

Boy! Ego massage early in the morning. Hmm...

Saturday, January 5, 2008

D day and nonchalance

Its my wedding in 15 more days.

And the strange fact is I am feeling completely numb towards it.

I can feel how busy my mom and dad are with all the preps back at my home.

But strangely I am having none of the “princess for one day”, “the D day” etc etc feeling.

I have seen friends around me going all hyper towards their wedding preparations. They plan everything to the very last details. Yeah my thing is also pretty planned. But most of it is being handled by my parents cos I aint big enuff to do all those stuff :-D

Jokes apart, some how the close ness of the day does nt arouse any feelings in me. Nor does it make me nervous. I feel it’s a day which has been touted a lot and which will pass.

Something like 18th November.

Since the last week of October I was waiting for the 3rd Sunday of November. Cos that was CAT day. An exam I loved and respected a lot and wanted to crack big time. I used to get butterflies in my stomach thinking of that Sunday. God knows how many times I rehearsed how that day would be.

One scenario would be me sitting in the hall not able to answer much and feeling dazed. Then the next moment there would be another of me coming out of the exam hall feeling all triumphant and relaxed and then going off for a movie. Yet another bout of wishful thinking would make me imagine myself all bored through the evening as happens after any important exam.

And all the while when any one would ask me in November, are you feeling excited etc for the wedding I would say “No.. Not exactly”. I thought it was primarily because CAT was over powering me. It was the imminent clear and present danger which needed the alacrity of all my senses.

But then CAT is over and done ( Now its result time I know :- (

And still if any one asks me “So the D day is close eh? How do ya feel?” I say “Hmmm well nothing much :- | “

I aint sure why it is so.

I would love to feel all gaga that I am gonna get married and all.

But I am not.

I tried to analyse what mite be the reasons.

Its none of the predictable reasons like I am afraid to loose my independence or I am scared of the responsibilities that I would need to shoulder now( frankly speaking I am too fiercely independent to give it up and I am mature enuff to shoulder my share of responsibilities and delegate the rest :-D

The nagging feeling still remains – that why am I not feeling all agog. :- (

I think next Saturday when I go home (it starts my 3 week long vacation for the wedding) I might start getting all enthu since then I will be in the thick of activities.

Hoping for that.

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