Cherrie's Blogs

Ek teer se do shikaar

2012-02-07T01:58:00.000+05:30

Nancy and Deeps handed me "The Versatile Blogger" Award.
As part of the award, I have to complete a tag and write down 7 random facts about me! Ahem!
R-A-N-D-O-M says you, Random gets me :)

I cannot listen to the songs of Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara - especially Paint it red. It was during the summer of 2011, that both my and K's parents made the trip to UK. It was a time filled with fun and warmth. It was time with family. It was also the time which hooked me to this song and would be the first one when I used to venture out on my walks. Now this song fills me with dreadful nostalgia :(
My nose remains cold no matter how warm the temperature it. I am annoyed like crazy by it. I suit up and gear up against the cold with layers and layers of clothing. But what do I do with the nose?!!!!! It remains cold, frigid and just does not warm up. And I have no idea what to do with it. I do keep cupping my fingers around it and blowing air. But then it is not very helpful :(
I love seeing photographs - old ones, new ones, people, flowers, buildings, sceneries, mine, family, friends, unknown people, random people, celebrities - anyone, any occasion. I just love seeing photographs.
I have never ever baked anything. I love cooking. I have tried most sorts of cuisine and am completely hooked to recipe sites. Somehow, I have stayed away from baking. My mom used to bake immensely tasty cakes and cookies. And I have taken recipes from her umpteen times. But then have never been able to bring myself up for baking. I seriously envy people who can bake. I wish someday I am confident and daring enough to bake something. I should atleast try something in the microwave with so many brownie and cookie recipes which are do-able in a microwave.
Tea without biscuits does not complete the experience for me. I am in love with tea. The evening cuppa is a ritual for me - sacred and unmissable. But what I love with tea is biscuits. There are days when I run out of biscuits. Those days I miss it so bad. I feel as if something was missing from the day.
I seem to have an OCD when it comes to responding to pings on instant messengers, sms-es or emails. If I am around I will surely respond. In the electronic era, it is very easy to ignore a hi or a ping. But if I am around I am sure to respond. I just cannot imagine not doing it. It somehow seems a bit rude to me to not respond.
I buy accessories but forget to wear them when the time comes :D Yea, I get them all, I stock them and then I forget them. Its mostly when I see someones ahem photograph in which everyone stands beautifully dressed and accessorized, I rue why I dont I do that more often :|

Now tagging 15 people is simply out of bounds. So I am going to tag Furobiker and Amrita.

Bucket List

2012-01-19T22:07:00.000+05:30

Well, I am waiting. Yep - for the inevitable. For the end of life as I have always known.

Carrying itself was a novelty. The feeling of life inside you is surreal. The inconveniences it poses is as they say in "corny-land" - preparation for what lies ahead. There are moments of agony and pure exhilaration. There are times when you wish it would all end while there are others when you are ok with it going on forever for you are clueless what to do when its all over. But then as my midwife summed it beautifully - kids are the good things in life and all good things make us wait, and cos they make us wait, we love them so much. Hmmm true!!!

Waise, main aise dadi maa types batein kyun kar rahi hoon. Yea sab mujhe shobha nehi deta :D So I am going to revert to original self. Now my mobility is severely restricted thanks to all the Ahem "nutritious" food that I am consuming (carrot cakes and ferero rochers and margarita pizzas ;) )which have added Dunlop tyres to me. I can barely walk 20 mins without panting like a hippopotamus who ran a triathlon. K's paranoia is also at its zenith with rules imposed as to how far I am supposed to travel at what time of the day and how I am supposed to get from point A to point B. I am like ok Saar what ever you say :P

So that has given me lots and lots of - TIME. And I have thought of a bucket list. Thus every single day, I catch up on friends :) Then watch a good movie - an interest I am trying to re-inculcate. Read some pages of a good book. Then of course there is the usual of cooking and eating good food :)

The movement to a new house has also landed me with a lot of additional chores. So there is also setting the house in order. With K's office being across the street, thankfully I have his company for all the meals of the day - which is a great bonus. So its a good run now - eat, relax and be merry - for tomorrow we may have sleepless nights :)

Time for the ritual- Yea the year end post!

2012-01-18T23:27:00.002+05:30

Now is the time for the year end wala post J

Don’t believe it, that in a day this years going to be over! This year went really really fast did nt it? There were no big milestones that I crossed but there were some junctures which I crossed that made this year extra special. The most epic one was our decision to become errr… parents. Scary thought eh? I know. I would nt trust myself with a child, let alone a baby. But then I dunno, I feel one fine day you just feel ready to take on the journey. Yes, any right minded person would think – Whoa are you crazy? But yea buddy – there are quirks in nature. Life does bring you to a stage where you see past the dirty diapers, the puke, the terrible twos and assume you can cope with all that. And take that big leap of faith. I could go on and on about how the whole thing can make you feel, but then I would become arduous. So dive we did and mind you those were some months of anticipation.

We had reached a point where we had given up – yes we are impossibly impatient. We were rather looking forward to the parents making a trip. When they reached, it was sheer bliss. The little one bed apartment accommodated 6 people! There was cooking, chatting, shopping, roaming; the house was literally on fire. I also acted guide after a long time organising trips sans K to Scotland, London and the Bath. It was some serious fun. On the last week of my parent’s 3 week stay, we got the confirmation of the new +1 in the offing. It was delirious to break the news with everyone being there in person. There is a reason God makes one wait for good stuff. The smiles (and tears for the moms) on everyones face add so much splendour to the whole fact. The icing on the cake was, 2 people I am pretty close to are also due within weeks of me – one 2 weeks ahead and the other 4 weeks hence. We don’t constantly swap stories but do get some reassurance from the fact that we are all sailing in the same boat. J

My parents stay drew to a close and it was terrible to bid them goodbye. But Amma was to be around for some more months, so there was not a sudden vacuum either.

Life moved on as I cleared 2 technical certifications – phew atleast something to write home about. This brings me to a post by Nancy where she rues about merely existing. I feel that it is not a bad thing entirely. Yes there are young guns who take the world by storm, there are achievers who make us feel like nothings and there are qualifications and titles which make us feel incompetent – but then is nt everyone a mere face in the crowd? I do not propagate complacency, but then I don’t think we fare any less by doing our day to day tasks with diligence and honesty. I feel every person has a role to play in the fabric of the world. Just like the much clichéd every drop makes an ocean, every person’s carbon footprint adds up, every person’s activities add up to some economic, social or ethical good. We might be part of a mass, but our actions might end up making parts of a product that improves the quality of life somewhere. We might be mere parents but we might end up giving values and ethics to future world citizens who may in turn bring momentous changes. We might be merely “existing” but our actions might be the reason someone else smiles and goes on. Well sounds philosophical and my philosophy might be totally misplaced. Hence I shall stop blabbering.

As the year draws to a close, there are lot of new things to look forward to. We a moving to a new house which will be literally a stone’s throw away from K’s work place. Life will be different there. We will be a getting a new member to the family and life will never be the same again. And we have to brace for the zillion uncertainties that life is anyways going to throw at us.

So heres wishing good changes and the strength to bear them in the New Year! Hope the year brings the best for all! Happy New Year!

Zip Zap Zoom - went a wonderful Christmas

2011-12-29T00:17:00.001+05:30

Just done with the most idyllic Christmas vacation and seriously loved every bit of it.

It was 4 days of holiday and K thankfully did not have to go to work any of the days. That itself was bestest gift I could ask for. Friday evening he gave the surprise of surprises by coming home early. He also chose to skip his customary friday booze party. He has been really sweet lately by giving up time with the "guys" to spend time with me! I love him 10 times more when he does that :) though I keep telling him he could go and have some fun rather than being stuck in the house with a fat lady :) But stay he did and got on with cleaning some surfaces and painting bits of the house where some stains had come along. After grubbing on some frozen samosas, we called it a day.

The next day the sun shone bright, we chose to trek in search of some more Indian fare. Food does call the shots in our choice for outing. We decided to go for a new restaurant and had the most scrumptious Kachodi chat and dhokle. K was developing a mild eye infection, but not letting go of the holiday spirit. Once home, he made a trip to his favourite electronics shop for some window shopping. We ended up spending the evening watching The Inbetweeners and eating lots and lots of Indian snacks that we had purchased on our way back.

Christmas being the day when the city shuts down, we decided to take it slow. We still had to make a trip to the hospital, since K's eye infection was worsening as was his cold. Once back, I got on with the cooking while K attended to some serious enemy killing. All fattened up, we got on with back to back animated movies - Monsters Vs. Aliens, Happy Feet and Ratatoulie. I then chose to hit the bed with a book while K had to get back to saving the world. We saved up all the energy for the next day was Boxing Day - the day when the "SALE" gates open. I do not get the customary rush to shops on Boxing Day. I feel no difference in the options available on this day compared to any other time of the year. But somehow the frenzy is infectious. People do flock to the stores at 5 in the morn!! We too stepped out of the house at somewhere around 1230 to enjoy the sights. We chose to go to a mall far far away with a group of K's colleagues. Since it was a holiday, getting there got a bit painful since transport facilities were way limited. We took close to 2 hours while a normal day should have taken us there in 45 mins. But then it was totally worth the pain, since the decorations, the activity and the general festive fervour charged me with the same emotion. Did not splurge a lot, but it was amazing to catch the guys go crazy in the shops! Now that does not happen very often! Caught up on some reading in the evening along with catching up on 50 most annoying celebrities of 2011 :D (The stuffs people countdown and people watch :D )

Tuesday heralded the very last day of the Christmas holidays (boo hoo). We had a couple of friends invited for a small eatout and K helped me hugely inspite of his illness and eye infection. He was an outright darling from the outset.

As K started to work today morning, I could not help but treasure the wonderful time I had with him. It was a near perfect Christmas.

A fine balance

2011-11-28T15:11:00.001+05:30

I love anything Indian - cuisine, couture or culture. Same goes for books too. I simply love Indian authors. R.K. Narayanan is an all time fav with others like Shashi Tharoor, Jhumpa Lahiri, Amitav Ghosh being authors I love going back to. Last week when I finished reading "A fine balance" by Rohinton Mistry, I had another name to add to my list of "wow" authors.

A fine balance is the story of four people from different background who end up having a strangely symbiotic relationship. Its a weird juxtaposition of Dina Dayal, a Parsi widow; OmPrakash and Ishvar, two tailors and Maneck a student. Its an odd ensemble, but the way life makes strange partners is something to be watched out for. I loved the backdrop of each character that the author provides. Its elaborate but not boring in the slightest bit.

There are a host of supporting characters -

Shankar - the limbless beggar who is strangely optimistic inspite of his physical deformities
Beggarmaster - the one who employs Shankar and ends up having a link with the four main characters
Maneck's mom and dad - who rue the loss of pristine mountain beauty in their quaint hilly town and somehow end up distancing Maneck as a result of misplaced angst
Rajaram - a slum dweller with the tailors who again ends up having a lot of say in the flow of things.
Ashraf Chacha - the guru for the tailors

There is a lot of characterization and a lot of sub plots. It ends up making the book 614 pages thick, but somehow there is not a bit which feel extraneous. Every bit is relevant and ties up neatly. Some of the twists and turns might seem a bit too fantastical - but then the book is a work of fiction. Set in the 1970s, the backdrop itself is an interesting revelation.

Being a die hard optimist, the book's macabre turn of events and pathos did not bog me down. But then, some episodes may put off the very emotional ones - cos there is only so much suffering one can see. Taste for yourself and see, if this Booker nominee ends up painting the world in shades of black or shades of grey for you.

End tak sab acha ho hi jaata hai

2011-11-07T00:11:00.001+05:30

Disclaimer : Philo post ahead :P

The other day I was with a bunch of people who were reminiscing about days gone by and about India. I was going with the flow for sometime after which they lost me.

I am ok with musing about by-gone days. But then the optimist in me, somehow feels, things work out for the better not for worse. Don't they? In our childhood there are not much burdens to carry and studies and games make up life. There in untold fun in it but studies are utterly painful too ( Gosh I cannot fathom how I ploughed through all the huge chapters on Dravidian history and Indian Independence struggle! and I can never ever surmount entrance examinations) It works up to a joyous worklife. Deadlines are dreaded and Monday morning blues are a norm, but then the joy of splurging at a mall, being able to get something extra special for parents 25th wedding anniversary are things we can do only now. All leads up to getting married and setting a family. Its horrendous cleaning someone else's mess and having chores for additional people but then the sense of belonging is not something that cannot be done away. The stage of building one's nest and then seeing the young ones fly is tough work, but then don't they say, they are rocks in the river bed which give the river its song. The retirement phase might spell boredom for many, but then is'nt this the time to help the young ones grapple with their lives and catch up on all the wonderful reading in the world.

Maybe I sound annoyingly optimistic and maybe I am looking at the world through rose tinted glass which have an extra film of gloss for me. I do not deny that life is tough in each and every stage. But then I see more sense in seeing the good rather than the bad. I do understand the feeling of homesickness and ruing about life back in India, but I feel its healthier to enjoy the good at any place while the opportunity presents itself. Once back in the home-land, its time to savor the delights for it would mindless to wish for life else where then. Same goes for any situation and scenario, is nt it better to keep the good parts and forget the, er... not so good ones?

Ek aur Diwali Khatam

2011-10-29T02:49:00.001+05:30

And I am waiting for a next one already.

No matter where I am festivals pep me up. I am at my chirpiest best and can somehow feel the gigantic vibes of good will allll around. Call me silly. But thats just me :)

This Diwali was no less special. The sun shone splendidly! In October having the sun shimmer down tireless in the land where the sun never rises is awesome. The morning was spent in quickly catching up with friends. K wanted to whet his feeling of nostalgia and asked a couple of friends to go closer to the bursting crackers so that he could savor the sound of them. He was in no mood to work and said he had spent most of the day making calls or chatting with colleagues. The British counterparts did bring up some sweets and savories which were matched by the Indian colleagues. There was a lot of munching and grubbing going on which added to the festive splendor.

Amma was in full throttle and had started making sweets 2 days prior to the event. There was besan barfi and coconut laddus to be savored. She also make some kheer on the day of Diwali. I had plans for kachori and chole for dinner. Once K was back, he got on with helping me in getting stuffs in order and lighting up the candles as Amma made a trip to the local temple with some neighbors.

I had called over a colleague of K's who has turned out to be a bit pally with me. Once she came over, she too helped me with bits of the cooking. While we were engrossed in dishing out the food, the heat of the candles and the cooking did make the fire alarm go off. But after some time when I suddenly turned to see the diyas, I noticed one of them burning with a big flame. And within the blink of an eye, it spluttered and another one started burning with a big flame. K was playing some computer games, and I thought it might be better to handle the situation silently. And I poured some water over the candles. It resulted in a conflagration! (I read up later in the internet that one should not try to extinguish a wax fire with water. And more over, the flames were getting bigger because there was some melted wax too which was catching fire) Now this caught the attention of K even though he was engrossed in a game. He came rushing and doused the fire by putting a thick towel over the candles. Then he gave me a look - which said - Woman you had nearly set the house on fire. Since we had a guest at hand, he spared me the sound hearing which came lashing down as soon as she stepped out. The judgement was passed that there would be no candles going forward and I either had to manage with some sort of electrical lighting or ask some one from India to get some authentic diyas for any occasion I wanted to light up things. All said and done we had a happy and safe Diwali. Wish everyone else too had an amazing time!

The festival of lights done for this year, waiting for another gorgeous one!

Life has gotten me to a stage

2011-10-15T18:38:00.001+05:30

Where I do not fit into any of my clothes. So much so I have to rampage K's wardrobe to the extent that he runs out of stuff to wear
I am not bothered about the waist - at all! In spite of not fitting into clothes (Imagine!!) And I keep gorging on humongous amounts of food. The food just keeps on coming and I am not complaining.
I was one who could sleep at a stretch for like 8 hours, but then its been forever since I slept at a stretch. I simply have to wake up at least twice at night :( I hate it but then there is no escaping. For some reason or other, to get into a comfortable position, to eat some more :D or simply to use the washroom - I HAVE to wake up.
I keep a tab on days, weeks, months like crazy!

Thank God for small pleasures

2011-10-01T01:03:00.003+05:30

They say, when one has got nothing useful to speak about, one talks about the weather. And this is going to be my second post about the vagaries of nature. Call me boring :(

The weather has gone berserk, it has gone crazy and in the very very very good way. Its sunny!! (I feel like going and kissing the sun - a la Hanuman style) Yeyyyy! Literally every single day since Monday I have been jumping in joy seeing the bright sun. While last 2 weeks had made me bring out my autumn jacket, this week has me roaming even without a light sweater. Its hello floral skirts and summer frocks! And flip flops. There is no ear piercing autumn wind, there is no dampening rain, its just sunshine and lot of warmth all the way through. Touchwood! Seems like Bhagwan ne meri sun li.

Somehow the weather reminds me of home sweet home. This is exactly the sort of 27-28 degrees temperature that remains at my state during Dussera. This is the time for Puja Pandals with huge mandaps being erected with extravagant statues of Goddess Durga. The general work atmosphere would be lax around this time with people taking time out to visit family and friends. Nights would lead to illuminations and popular Bollywood music blaring out of loudspeakers. The food on the streets is to die for. I have not tasted street food which can hold the mirror to what we get during Puja anywhere else (I might be sounding way too chauvinistic, what to do, I am a bit too attached to my quaint little city). It is also this time that winter slowly sets in, with the markets getting slowly loaded with cauliflowers, cabbages, peas and carrots. This in turn ushers in the season of fried rices, gobi and matar ke parathe and gajar ke halwe. Yum yum yum, the tongue is on cloud 9.

It is as if God has snatched a bit of those joys here. With the sunshine, the crowds are back on the streets, colourful clothes have made a comeback and everybody is surely smiling. And I am ever grateful to Him for this.

Whats wrong with me

2011-09-17T02:41:00.003+05:30

I simply hate any form of precipitation. Rain, hail, snow - nothing agrees with me. I cannot fathom how people can go poetic over rain and cloudy weather. I see them as spirit dampners and as a major inconvenience.

But yesterday something really weird happened. I was walking back home from an errand and it started raining. It wasnt the normal drizzle which is so rampant in this part of the world. It was as if someone was pelting huge liquid stones. Then the intensity increased. It was nearly like a huge thunderstorm. People who were trying to save themselves from the rain, accepted who was the tougher contender. Wet passerbys exchanged smiles which said "Some rain mate!". It was first funny to watch people frantically tries to maintain their umbrellas against the gales. But then it seemed somewhat heart warming. I nearly let out an "Aww" at the fate of the flimsy umbrellas at the hands of the mighty winds. Even mine was being blown haywire and I had to hold on to the fringes of it.

Coincidentally I had some rain related Tam song on my ipod. I did not understand it, but somehow the feel of the song pepped me up. That was bizzare behaviour on my part by any standards. As if to reward my happy approach towards something I have always regarded as disgusting, the sun shone all of a sudden. With the shining sun along with the torrential rains, there came - Yes a SPLENDID rainbow! I could not help but smile ear to ear at the sight of it!

A good weekend

2011-08-31T00:20:00.000+05:30

Just done with a long weekend and it feels great! Most weekends are made up of K going to work as usual, so they never give me a feel of being any different from the other days. The only difference might be K runs down to have his lunches. But then its all the same with some time spent on books, some on the telly and others chatting and lazying around. But this weekend was fulfilling to the hilt. I spent Saturday in going back to cooking like I had not done in a long time. I dished out Puris, Jeera Rice, Chole, Aloo Capsicum, Gajar ka Halwa and Raita. I wanted to eat a huge meal and I left no stone unturned in cooking one up. we lapped up the dishes not knowing there was more food coming our way. One of K's colleagues extended an invitation for dinner. Hmm.. more more food. We were groaning literally like pythons but the food was so scrumptious that we took one helping after another of Dahi Vadas, Dosas and Idlies. Oh boy, gluttony is so so sinful. We all had a really good time and it was at 2300 that we finally hit home.

Now the bank holiday weekend had SVU top 10 episodes. And thats what we got latched on to once we reached home. Inspite of being sleepy and stuffed, we braced up and watched one nail biting episode after another.

Sunday K had to scoot back to work, while we saas-bahu took it slow. I had a good long chat with folks back home. In the evening it was Cowboys and Aliens (a movie not to be watched at all!!). Once back it was late night TV with SVU again :)

Holiday Monday was jam packed. Mil took over the kitchen while I got busy with doing stuff around the house. After a weather-wise cold and damp Sunday, Monday looked sunnier which pepped me to no end. Then the best part of the day came up. Roomie dear called me. It was such an amazing pleasure catching up with her and realising how we still have so much in common. :) It was simply brilliant. After having a lunch which was to die for, I took a quick nap. Then along came another of K's colleagues who is a good pal of mine. And off we 3 went for some shopping. It was an exclusive 'me' shopping with both mil and B giving me a barrage of choices. Its so easy to shop with females, men simply do not understand the nuances we see. A really exhilarating shopping session later, my wardrobe was richer by 4 items while I was poorer by many many pounds. The good run continued as we all sat down for tea and lots of gossipping. We literally set the house on fire till K came back. The evening saw the consumption of mooli parathas and the top 3 SVU episodes.

The weekend was satisfying and relaxing in every way possible and I loved every bit of it! (Touchwood)

The Wisdom of Sam

2011-08-07T21:49:00.000+05:30

Since I have absolutely run out of ideas and since there is NOTHING sansanikhez happening at allllllllllll ( Ok Gods and the powers that be, I am not asking for anything from Aaj Tak News. Keep the sansansi else where) But then my blog looks so derelict. So I am going to take the idea of Furobiker and put ahead book reviews. First up - Wisdom of Sam by Daniel Gottlieb.

The book is about the simple lessons on life a quadriplegic grandfather learns from his Autistic grandchild - Sam. Its not life changing nor divinely inspirational and of course it is not a self help book. The book is simply about the Wisdom of Sam.

The book has a simple narrative. Each page is steeped with Sam's simple charms. Be it forgiveness, happiness, madness, empathy, death or any of the myriad aspects of life. The author has given "our" way and Sam's way - and Sam's is way better :)

My favourite is one where Sam rakes leaves with his father and at the end of plops into the pile of leaves and muses "Now, this is my kind of place." The author asks us to in a same way "just experience our place" forgetting what we are doing at that moment. He says "Can you forget, just for the moment, the task or the outcome or even the process and just experience who you are right now?" He goes on to state, how we attach a lot of importance to our identity and Who we are. But our identities evolve and so does the sense of comfort associated with those identities. So the important question is not "Who we are?" But it is "What we can contribute while we are at a given point". Just like Sam, being fully aware and concious, awake and alive just experiencing life - knowing that a pile of leaves is his kind of place!

There is another incident where Sam does not fare so well in the school wrestling competitions. When his grandpa asks him "So, Sam why do you think you've lost all your matches?" Sam replies after a brief pause "I don't think I am tough enough. Pop (that's what Sam calls his grandpa) do you think you could toughen me up?" What Sam got was a lesson in resilience which the author describes as "faith that I could get hurt and still be okay." "What Sam needed was trust that he had the resilience, in himself, to meet the unknown, to experience it, and to survive." Don't we all need these lessons?

I could go on writing excerpts from the book, but there is one staggering piece that I cannot miss. The author says "Before a child is born, God infuses that child with all of the wisdom he needs in life. Right before the child is born, an angel comes and slaps the baby on the face, causing it to forget everything it's learned. But every now and then, there is an uncommon child like you, Sam. You make me wonder if the angel got distracted and forgot to slap you before you were born. Right now you seem to have more wisdom than most boys of your age. You are uncommon, you are a teacher, you are a blessing, you are love."

The roller coaster that was

2011-07-03T17:32:00.000+05:30

The house seems funny. Every corner reeks of their absence. The bathroom has been emptied of the cascade of toiletries. The dressing table looks deserted. All of a sudden coats hangers are free. The entrance which looked like one to a temple thanks to all the shoes is neat. Luggages - where are they suddenly?

The last 21 days were a blur. It was exactly 3 Fridays ago that we made the trip to Manchester airport to pick my folks. I could not contain my anxiousness of seeing them for like 2 minutes. I was imagining all sorts of worse case scenarios- they missed the connecting flight, their luggages were lost, they are held up in immigration and a zillion more. I was going berserk to the point of asking K to contact information center. After 30 minutes of agonising wait (which is quick by normal standards) I saw my dad. Woo hoo!! Bye bye worse case scenarios. Its time to head home.

After a days rest we had a week long travel programme. That done, it was life as usual but with a lot of zing. I did not have to take the ipod for walks, cos I had dad. Its real fun taking a walk with him, the inquisitive him asking lots and lots of questions. Afternoons were spent strolling with mom and sis and visiting all the shops on the high street. I simply adore shopping with mommy and sister. There is simply nothing as cool as that. Our choices are so in sync, they help me pick stuff so so so easily. Every single day for 2 weeks we spent the afternoons shopping. Some days were just research strolls where we did market survey:) Other days were dedicated to shoes. :) I could drone on about each and every day but then all that is history.

Things were just different with them around. But then all good things should come to an end, and heres hoping for good times to come back again.

Full House

2011-06-26T13:47:00.001+05:30

Amma joined us on the 20th of last month and the Chennai trio was complete. And last week on the 10th, my mom, dad and sis reached! Now that's are a real full house!

Our joy just knows no bounds. It is just so amazing to be all together. The whole plan had so much ironing out to do. Dad has his post retirement activities which he did not want to miss out. Sis had her work. Mom had her responsibilities for my maternal granny. So along with all this, it was a marvel that all 3 of them were able to manage these 3 weeks to come here. It would have been a cherry on top of it, if K would have been able to manage some leaves. But then perfect is boring.

I really relish that fact that my family gets along famously. Big touchwood to that! And somehow by the grace of God, we do happen to pull out some or the other get together. 2008, we spent the Dusserra vacation together at Bbsr with trips to Puri and Chilika being the highlights. 2009, when sis got her posting at Mysore, we all managed a trip for 4 days when we travelled like crazy. 2010, was a bad year by all standards. 2011, and here we are all together. Could not thank Chubby God enough for making this happen.

The travel agent/tour operator inside me was kicked alive by the presence of so many people. And I made plans like crazy. I had a 2.5 days trip to London and a 3.5 days trip to Scotland planned to a T. Since K was conspicuous by his absence, I had a lot of things to take care of. Surprisingly my dad who is annoyingly fussy about food, place or stay and literally everything was very well behaved. A proper rice and chappatti person, he lived on sandwiches, salads, pasta and pizzas for 7 days! He was a sport to climb the tallest peaks in Scotland, which even the moms had given up. Being the fast walker, it was amazing fun to strut beside him. I am so proud of you Papa! There was even this one time, when he being the impulsive adventurous one, broke off from the herd and ended up getting separated from us. This when we were in a ferry. He got down in some stop where we were not supposed to. But then when the womenfolk returned realising a missing Papa, he was standing guard at the gates of the stop with the most ridiculous smile on his face. I was fuming but seeing his smile did not have the heart to reprimand. Amma of course did give him a nice hearing ;)

The moms as usual were the voice of advise and reason and were ever watchful. Tour done, we all concurred that India simply rocks. Be it history, architecture, nature or any realm, India can put the entire world to shame. I just hope someone gives our tourism industry a booster shot :(

Anyhoo, now its time for the next good thing about holidays. FOOD. The house is brimming with it. Both moms cook in a frenzy and we gobble food like theres no tomorrow. K has resumed his habit of coming for luch whenever he can cos who wants to miss a the cosy feel of home. Along with good food, there is also shopping. It is such fun shopping with mom and sister. I have been able to stack up shoes and purses again.

I do not do the dishes, vaccuum the house, throw garbage, cook or do anything at all for that matter. But everything gets done. Some parts of the house do look like the waiting room of a railway station. ( Picture this)

But I am amazed that six people are able to fit in this real minuscule place.I think when we got place in the hearts there no need for rooms in a house. (Kitna zyaada filmi dialogue

hai - shame on me).

Guess who is in town

2011-05-28T03:51:00.000+05:30

Since I am really bad at keeping the suspense let me let out the secret. Its amma :)

Post our visa extensions, we were looking forward to mil making a trip here. It would be a double whammy - we would get to see her and she would get to savour a change of weather. We pulled our socks up and got everything sorted real quickly. Her passport did take forever to come back from the British consulate, thanks to a whole lot of bank holidays which crept up in between. But then one fine day after what seemed like an eternity, the passport stamped with the visa arrived. Woohoo! She had everything ready, savouries packed for her dear son, some ready to eats set aside for colleagues here and her usual stuff.

Though I was looking forward to her coming here, I had my own set of apprehensions. Our apartment is not small - its minuscule. Two of us keep coming in each others way, and I had my worries if three would be able to fit into this match box. Well err... who wants to queue in the morning for the wash basin ;) I also had my reservations, as to how would she find her life here. She leads a pretty active life back home, with long hours everyday dedicated to services in temples. She has her family close by and she has the time and opportunity to visit my sister in law too. But here, it would be preposterous to even think about these. I wondered how she would fare having a restricted social life. And my last worry was, how would it change us. Being just the two of us for close to 10 months now, I had forgotten how was it before that :D

When she finally reached here, I realised what a waste had all the thinking been. We all just fitted together perfectly like the pieces of a puzzle. Even in this small house, there was no loss of any privacy for anyone. We have carved our own spaces. And mil hugely helped me in feeling at ease by venturing out on her own. She was a real sport to go out walking and shopping entirely on her own from Day 3!!! Her confidence awes me and impresses me hugely. Its a fact - she is miles smarter and bolder than me too! Kudos to her.

Now the vessels get done sooner, there is more variety on the dining table, and I got company for my evening teas. She speaks to her family daily- something that she did not get time to do at Chennai. She gets to see sis in law and my niece most of the days through the web - again something that never happened before. Its like she is more connected with everyone in spite of being so far. Ironic but true.

So the long and short of it - things are still the same, though they have changed :D

My dil goes mmm

2011-05-10T00:01:00.000+05:30

When I sit bored on a Friday evening, mulling over the most worthless stuff like what's the big deal about Friday? What's the point in giving so much importance to the start of the weekend? How easy it is for guys to bond over work etc. (No rhyme or reason right? I think crazy sometimes *sighs*) As I keep sinking into more morbid thoughts, K knocks on the door and says "No booze party today, am all yours" ;)
When after n attempts at the mock tests for a certification, I finally pass one
When after feeling utterly bored once K has ventured out to work real early on a Saturday morning, I do my set of step ups (I step up and down at the fire exit of our apartment as a means of cardio) and come back feeling recharged, revitalised and rejuvinated!
When I cook a real good meal which K loves :)
When I drown myself in back to back episodes of MTV Roadies Season 8
When K reverts his decision to go to work on a fine Sunday morning
When we shop groceries together (after eons)
When we loose ourselves in chole and rotis at an Indian Takeaway
When we sit and watch a movie ( Seven- yes old movie, and long over due. But an amazing watch)
When we feel guilty over the HUGE doughnuts we hog upon
When we finally retire feeling good about a weekend well spent :)

Wassup?

2011-04-25T14:38:00.000+05:30

Sometimes I am amazed at how perceptive people are. Reflections said "U r really busy huh.....I've noticed tht most people dont blog all tht much when they r happy with whts happening in their life;-)".

And truer words have not been said. Yes I am really busy. And yes I am happy with what is happening in my life (Touchwood) Btw what is happening in my life??!! :S

NOTHING. :P

Yep, you heard it, nothing is happening. Its life as usual. I would love for lots of things to happen. Love to see some motion on my sis's work front. Love to see some action on my daily routine. And I do sometimes think about a lot of things. But then as a generally lazy friend of mine who is even lazy in thinking said, Zyada sochne se faisle kamzhor ho jaate hain. (Thinking a lot makes decisions weaker). So taking her cue, I am going to proceed on some ground breaking decisions. Keep watching this space :P

On second thoughts as long as the stream of life goes on without ripples, one should not complain. Cos you can never be sure when wishes turn into horses and scare the living day lights out of you. Any hoo, I digress again. I should have been writing about what is happening in my life.

Life is taken up mostly by work which is again mostly done by K. Now that spring is slowly making way for summer, there is lots more reading and reading in the sunshine for me! And reading in the sunshine leads to dozing off. With more sleep comes sparkling skin (so says my Mommy, if you sleep well skin main chamak aati hai so rather than applying all those artificial products take a nap- so says Mrs Know-all aka Mummy). So yes I bring more nikhar on my twacha as K has eaten his left hand's thumb nail away thanks to the never ending vagaries of work. (Yes he still bites his nail, and believe it people, he does not have a left thumb nail anymore. Which is worse given the fact that he is left handed. To add more spice to the scenario, he is just not letting a new nail grow, cos things at work are not improving).

How gross can I get, I spent the better part of an entire paragraph talking about nails! Yiekssssss!! Apart from a missing nail and family members, its a new experience for us just being us. For the first time, we do not even have the intervention of a domestic help. Its just me and K, living in fancy abandon. There is no worry of an earring lying here, or a watch being lost amongst laundry, or bothering to lower the voices when an argument begins. We are the master of all we survey in this minuscule apartment and there is a unique joy to it. Discovering new routes for walks, sitting in the sun in some new found park after a tiring walk, enjoying the company of others but loving that of eachother - those are simple things that still add the sparkles.

Thankfully the Easter weekend has been blessed with sunshine and I am looking forward to devouring more books (there is one technical one which is gyrating on the shelf for my attention. I should give it a shot too) . Let it shine!!

For the sake of filling some space

2011-04-11T00:13:00.000+05:30

Its been way too long since I wrote a post, but then in true India TV style nothing sansanikhez was happening for me to write :(

But then I thought, this blog is my space in the great big cyber world, to fill up with my thoughts (which I deem are very important and worthwhile :D ). So I will go ahead and scribble a whole lot of stuff which does not have much relevance :D.

Well first up, I get a very good feeling about this year. And in true morning shows the day fashion, January passed with celebrations of a new year.February had a very close friend take a big leap on the personal front. March had my oldest dearest friend finally getting a little bit of what she wanted - a big achievement on the professional front. April? Well didn't April rejuvenate every single India by having the beautiful Saturday the 2nd when India (and Sachin!!!) Finally LIFTED the ICC World Cup! Along with it came-Spring here. Sunshine - something I missed dearly. People also went ahead and bought flashy cars(more specifically i20 Magna) in April :D

And a Lady Luck was pleased with me, and I made a friend. It was pure serendipity. And having a friend here after so long, is amazing. So till now things are bright and shiny. Heres hoping for a heady dose of sunshine and brightness for all!!!!

When a man loves a woman

2011-02-17T23:08:00.000+05:30

Are we supposed to be done with feeling in love and all? No right? I think we have to be lovey dovey the entire month, eh?

But it ever so happens that I loose it sometimes somewhere in the beginning of the year. I just allow myself to be thrown off the track. This time it happened on the day following Valentine's day. Something minor happened, but me being all Sherlock Holmes, took it way too seriously. ( Roomie dear, you know each excruciating detail). So I let my drinking habit kick in (Yes people I confess I have a drinking problem. When sad, I don't revive myself with the normal happy stuff like mindless movies or silly sitcoms. I go to a big mug of ginger tea. And I keep on drinking :D ) I don't feel a lot better, I feel bloated, I feel as if there is acid building in my digestive system and I sit on the banks of the river called guilt thinking about the sugar (=calories) I took in with the mugs of tea.

Its a slippery slope friends. I know anyone with a drinking problem will vouch for it (or for that matter anyone with a chocolate addiction) So Tuesday night I retired to bed way too early (inspite of the gallons of tea) . And when I woke in the morning, K had the whole house arranged, all the dishes washed and even cute post its for me. He took the day off and we spent all the time having a How I Met Your Mother marathon and eating lots of ice cream and the cakes. I did not budge as the local pizza joint had our dinner ready. It was entirely K's show with him doing all the stuff from choosing the pizza, fetching the stuff, getting it re-heated and also cleaning up.

Today as I slowly limped back to normalcy (its back to 2 mugs per day, the mugs have to become decent civilised sized ones, the one I am using currently is more like a beer mug),life looks a bit better. I would want some more sunshine God. But till then Thank You Chubby God for one person who has held me through and just stood by, unquestioning, just the right amount of sugar and just the right amount of spice. Bebe you rock :D

Ps.

1. I love the movie When a man loves a woman - makes me go Awww... and cringe with a feeling of love. Yes even an un-romantic person like me

2. While I was writing this post, I had this song going on, completely situational. Yea, tumse hi tumse har baat hai!

3. Promise completely up beat and non - senti post next time.

Just go with it

2011-02-14T03:37:00.000+05:30

Furobiker ji asked, whos getting lucky this Valentine's day, and yea I got lucky over the weekend.

I was getting sick of the zillion plus one advertisements for Valentine's day. Add to it lots of pink balloons adorning the streets and pink hearts where ever your eye turns. To add salt and pepper to injury, even the library had all romantic books lined up in the many display section. I was like enough already. I had K, clocking close to 14 hours at work.

But then bhagwan ke ghar main der hai andher nehi. So the man who would not step out of his office before 2200, called me at 1700 asking if we could go for a movie!!I was like neki aur pooch pooch. Hell yaaa!!! Movieeee!! We chose the comedy Just go with it, my kinda movie - a no brainer but funny. But before the movie started we had 2 hours to kill. So we just went with the flow, window shopped for games, for clothes, and then a light drizzle made us stop at Statbucks. The time with him, was typical, with K still cuddling his brand new HTC desire, while I cuddling the Cafe Mocha. (Is nt that what comfortable companionship is all about). I would give my right arm for more moments like that :)

Saturday was a heavy lunch followed by - shopping!! I was able to grab some shirts in a sale, which came close to 50% cheaper. Then got some creams and lotions again at a Valentine's discount. That was followed by K being able to grab some Italian shoes. What ensued was some glorious time at the salon getting some tlc for the hair. We were ready to call it a day, but then K treated me to a lovely sub sandwich ( we have fallen in love with them!). I could not have asked for a better Valentine's weekend - walking in the rain, silently holding hands, shopping for what the other person loves - it could nt have been any better. Touchwood! And happy Valentine's day to all!

Heroine worship

2011-01-30T01:41:00.000+05:30

I love Friday evenings. Who does'nt. But I love them a lot. Friday evenings are the time, when K comes home early. And then after spending an hour or so with me, goes for his weekly daaru party with the 'boys'. I am left all by myself.

I do not spend the time doing some super useful productive work. I go for the latest uploads of the soap Jhalak Dikhlaa Jaa. Its not that I am an ardent follower of the show, or like any contestant in particular. It is just for the diva who graces one of the judges chair - yep, call me oldddddddd school but I simply worship Madhuri Dixit.

I know I am just among the countless Bollywood followers, who one time liked her movies.But she seems to have a strange hold over me. I remember way back in school, I used to vehemently support her when fans of Sreedevi used to chastise her for not being talented enough. I would watch every Madhuri Dixit movie with such alacrity. Dil,Beta,Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, Tezaab, Parinda,Khalnayak, Mrityudand-these are names which are coming on the fly, but each and every work of her, is nearly indelible in my mind.

More than just her acting, her dancing, her prettiness, it was her aura of being a good person and being a model celebrity than most captivated me! K scolds me for this, but I am not an objective person, I take another person in totality. It is much more important in my yardsticks to be a good person rather than to be a successful person. I hold the same thing for celebs too. I don't understand how could marriages of 10 years falter (marriages are for keeps, yes old school again!) , so in the same light Aamir Khan, Azharuddin, Tiger Woods and many more, fall from grace when they go for another woman. I knowwwwww, its irrational, they are not brand ambassadors for morality. But then, I feel, one should be 'morally' and 'ethically' unquestionable be it in public or private domain. For this reason I would worship the ground beneath the feet of Sachin Tendulkar (another person whose picture itself can bring a smile of admiration on my face).

I think I am deviating from the issue at hand. The thing is she still enthrals me like she always used to. I have a silly smile on my face when I hear her re-living her experiences. I am still so charmed when she takes on the dance floor. I know people will sing praises and nothing but praises in the face of a person. But when the contestants and her peers tell she was this and that, and a nice person and bestow a whole lot of laurels on her, I choose to believe each and every word of it. I really see her living the life which is so model - an atrociously talented person, who inspite of being in the tinseltown, was some how monk-ishly untouched by the vagaries of fame, someone who married so sensibly rather than going with the trend of getting married to someone from her own trade, someone who knew where her priorities lay and settled to domesticity.When K struts by and mocks her, or makes some smart comment, I take offense. I am like in a shrine, where I am held in awe by the one and only Madhuri Dixit- someone who was really number one and insurmountable in my growing years.

I can go on and on waxing eloquent about her every facet, she is a true diva in every sense of the term for me.

PS.These thoughts are entirely mine, readers may choose to disagree. I just like her so much, that I could not help but write a post about her.

I also have the same question

2011-01-03T18:58:00.000+05:30

So how was New Year?? Yea its already 3 days old, but then, it remains new for the whole month of January. Does nt it? Yes it does!!

Well I will return the favour first by answering the question myself. We had some shopping to do cos there were folks we were calling over, so the evening started with crazy grocery buying. By the time we came out of the departmental store, my super-sharp-shopping-vision caught the four letter word every girl loves (Come on don't start thinking dirty now, bad people) It was SALE. Yessssssshhhhhhhhh, then which force on earth could stop me from dragging my bedraggled kaam ka maara thaka haara husband to the shop. But surprise surprise, I first spotted something for him! And it fitted him to the T, so we crossed the moat safely. Now MY turn. And I saw something along the similar lines(they are calling them 'boy friend' shirts. Huh. ) And surprise surprise number 2, K liked it and I bought it per K's choice! (Now people with a partner will nod their heads approvingly that this is a miracle. The lady never buys what the bloke suggests :P. Rather its a mild elimination process, what the guy chooses must not be bought :D ) But I not only bought it, I bought it without trying it on! I was sure cos K liked it, it would fit me. (Such a story of true tyaag and balidaan is the material for the next Romeo Juliet stuff aint it? )

Then the eve was flooded with making calls :) Yes, New Year is a religion among my family and friends. So mom, sis first ( Dad celebrated New Year to the hilt with a peg ;) and was fast asleep by then ), then grandmama, aunties and the friends. Since, I am super senti about New Year, I got ready with making a sweet dish, while K watched some slasher with lots and lots and lots of blood. I wasnt game for such stomach churning and retired with a lovely collection by Graham Greene called May we borrow your husband (Again a must must must read ). When the clock struck 12, did my small prayer with the new shirt on, and waited for the sunrise of a new year.

01/01/11 started top notch with some usual calls, and then a long tread to a city centre just for the heck of it and psst.. if possible do some shopping) End of day, I was one attire richer and had a good solid walk with K. It was a simple but lovely start. Sunday was the day when we had invited K's manager for dinner (I have brutalised all the folks from K's team with my cooking and their family was the only one pending). While Sunday mostly went in cooking and cleaning the house, and some real hard core racing on the Wii, what was truly endearing was the time in the evening. My simple recipes were savoured by our guests, there was a bit of the demo of the Wii and the best part was the lovely conversation that flew. It was not a fiasco like this and we had no idea how close to 4 hours flew just like that. I will always cherish the evenings as one of the most warm ones!

Today a really peppy sun shines as people pull themselves out of holiday hangover and march to office. Good luck to all for a gorgeous new year with things that ones heart wills. I know Ashu moved to their OWN house (wow amazing feeling eh?) and Roomie dear moved in some anticipation of stability. Hope inspite of the initial dislocations, this year is a gift which brings satisfaction.

Will leave with some disturbing images of chilli paneer, matar ke parathe and kheer. Not suitable for ravenous foodies. Viewer discretion advised.

(Main apne hi khane ka kitna build up de rahi hoon. Whatever happened to humility :D)

Its that time of the year again

2010-12-28T19:16:00.002+05:30

When we do the round up. Top 10 songs, top 10 movies, top 10 wardrobe malfunctions and all other important things that moved and shook the world. Its just 3 more days to a brand new year, but there have been none of the 'traditional' emails doing the rounds. More so, there have been no posts on bloggerville either. Except for the Furobiker of course, who can never ever fail :) So thank you for the cue, now Cherrie shall follow suit. I did whet my own writing cells with old posts by your truly :) over the last three years.

The year has been one with so many phases,that I could easily bookmark them mentally. It started on a bad note on the job front. It was like Whack! on the head, and a pretty bad one. As I was recuperating from it, there came the stint of K overseas, cos of which I was left in murky waters for a long time (In short things went from bad to worse). It was a long drawn separation with things going crazy at work and home. Ever chiming 'for this too shall pass', and posting sad senti stuff like this I dragged on. Things were so bad, that I cried my eyes dry for 3 days straight that too at my parents place! Now I shed a tear only when I am leaving my parent's house, never ever when I am there. This year saw my mom seeing me cry, yea I wanted to stop all the time, but then when the faucet is open, its on autocontrol then on. ( Thats when I went from the frying pot to the fire)

Seeing no end in sight, I changed projects, kept moving back and forth between Chennai and Bbsr, hung around with strange people (no, I wasnt smoking pot, just random people, whom maybe on a good day, I would'nt go beyond casual banter. I was so down, I actually went to the extent of sharing cell phone numbers! Urgggh!!)

But then that was the very time, I found some amazing 'friends' in my colleagues. Friends is a protected term (look at the developer talking people!) for me, which I use VERY sparingly. But then, Rumi, Divya, Soukarya (with Ameya, Anita and Sworen in supporting cast) - you have no idea, how much you did unknowingly of course to keep me pepped up. The spontaneous rides in the car,the scooting for the tea, the impromptu plans, those were the stuffs I looked forward to. Not to forget the movie and the amazing time I had when you guys dropped by at my home. Roomie dear, Ashu, goes without saying how hard you worked, so much so, I mainly wrote a post to thank you!( I was still in the fire and some divine cook was waiting for me to turn a nice golden brown). Thats when I was like, its about time whoever is cooking me. Get done with it will you?

Things started churning real slowly and I ended up being a housewife .(See the cooked becomes the cook in this phase) It was an altogether different experience. The kitchen had never been a place where I escape from rather a place I escape to (Thank you BBC for saying the lines I always wished I said) , and it has become more of haven each passing day. I have been able to master the art of some typical Tamil delicacies apart from sambar and rasam and slowly graduated to being able to make pongal, ada dosa, beans usili (Tamilians would know what I am talking about here) . I have dug my way deeper into K's heart, than he could have asked for. Not only that, my gajar ka halwa, achaari paneer, pudina rice and stuffed puris have become the talk of 'our' stomachs. Food was not the only thing I chewed upon (though the waist begs to differ and screams that thats precisely what I have been doing all the time),I have also devoured some of the choicest books. Till now its been eleven down:-

1. The Family Man 2. How to be good (Must read) 3. The art of racing in the rain (which had a doggy talking!Ulti cute book) 4. Coma (Just to savor some American writer) 5. Moths (Must read) 6. Julie and Julia 7. Juliet, Naked 8. A Mercy (Must must read) 9. Departure Lounge 10. Choker Baali 11. He's just not that into you............... and still counting. (Speed reading has never been my forte :( no wonder I sucked in my CAT exams )

Yes yes, I heard it, enough with the crib-athon. K did get promoted (This was also long due), we moved into a new style of life just the 2 of us and our raves and rants (a totally different but seriously temporary set up). Apart from them, I cannot think of anything sparkling or happening on the 12 month long horizon, so much so that blogosphere was pretty damp with Satish, Shylu, Ashu, Piper, Shalom being gayaab. Ya even I was lousy in being upto date and was without a single post in April and June, but folks, you are missed in my space.

Enough of drama now, ab aanso ponch leti hoon. Here's wishing everyone wandering, stomping, grazing by - a truly happening New Year. (Read it somewhere, may you live in exciting times!) Yes wish you all exciting times and times where your heart cherishes whatever you do. Spread the new year fever- sneeze around. Errr... I meant, put up some posts, send some emails, go crazy on FB, lets usher in the brand new year with a lot of hope.

Hum do humare do

2010-12-23T03:30:00.000+05:30

Yessssss gaonwalon,mithaiyan baaton.

And you all guessed it right, what better timing than Christmas. Its the time The King of Angels came to earth, a time when there is festivity all around. The three wise men brought gold, frankincense & myrrh for baby Jesus, which led to tradition of gifting during Christmas. And I could not have had a better timing to give my bebe something he had been really really looking forward to.

We were initially two minds with whether we should go ahead with such a big decision. There would be additional expense, we would need to manage time better, we would need to be more judicious. There was also a bit of logistic issue to make room for additional stuff. When we saw others going ahead with their decisions, we used to look longingly at each other and think if we are ready yet? Should we go ahead right now or wait for some more time. But then, one fine day, when K's colleague told he was going for it, K was firm, that it was high time we stopped dilly dallying. Since K was convinced, I was also convinced. We decided, no matter what, we would still make time for each other and not let the new one take over our lives as a couple. We would even take extra measures and to ensure that we spend quality time with each other.

And though its nearly a month early, I told K, he could keep it as his anniversary gift. He could NOT have wished for a better anniversary gift.

Today finally, with great joy in our hearts and a jump in our steps, we welcomed the new Nintendo Wii. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy.

PS. Ab hum do humare do, I got the lappie and he is getting beaten black and blue in an arena. *Evil Smile*. It is such a JOY to see him take the hit. Mwahahahaha

I missed my birthday

2010-12-20T01:50:00.000+05:30

I am like the character of Lily Aldrin from How I Met Your Mother. I love my birthday. Love it.

And this year I missed it - as in the usual hullabaloo that surrounds the day, as per me. First up, I missed the customary mid night calls, which I so love to wake up to! Cos of the time difference, it was an unearthly hour in India, when the clock struck 0000 hours here, there was not a single call/missed call on my mobile. I did however call folks who matter the most at midnight (India time) woke them up and made them wish me :).

K did plan out a trip to London on my birthday weekend(something totally unintentional, as usual this year too - the fourth time- he forgot my birthday. As in not the real day, but the run up to it. The countdown to it. I never let any one who is important to me forget my birthday! ). So there we were strolling on the streets of London, and he did to his very best to let all the choices be made by the newborn. I adored him for the effort he was making, but then he was a one man army. (Such a sweetu) Another thing that is sacrilegious to be missing but was - was my new dress!! I have always (ALWAYS) had something new to wear on a birthday since I had a mind to remember. But this time, due to the God forsaken snows, I was not able to grab anything new for the day! Though I decked my self in the choicest of fancy clothes - none of them were new! (Boo hoo) So there was I, with something amiss. Just like Murphy predicts, if something can go wrong it surely will, I ended up breaking the camera. Yea me now Mrs Butterfingers (normally) was trying to maneuver the camera with gloves on (which made me Mrs. Extra Butter-y Fingers) and whooosh it fell down, breaking the battery cabinet. We can still take clicks with a cello-tape stuck on the battery compartment, but then the thing is broken right. The angel in K who would normally have flown into a Blistering Barnacles tirade patted me, (I am sure some foul words must have played in his head) and took me to the nearest Starbucks so that I became ok.

Let me not be too pessimistic too, there was nothing like having well cooked Indian food for 4 days in London. Here the rigors of cooking, cleaning, shopping, setting the house straight, etc etc, and doing all of them alone do tire me and bore me. (I miss how mil just like that takes over the house some days back in Chennai. ) So it was an absolute delight to have food served. I threw all guards off and gorged on the heavenly dishes. And there was this one whole day we dedicated to K savoring South Indian food. We went absolutely crazy over vadas, dosas, idlies and the like. Apart from that the folks who just did not and cannot disappoint me ( Sam and the Dino!) They called me across the distance, and a pleasant surprise was another friend of K's who has been stellar in supporting us in recent times. When I returned home, it was absolute D-E-L-I-G-H-T to see the emails from friends. And yes not to forget the scraps and the wall postings (The joys of social networking sites :D )

To think about it, last year the same time I was recuperating from typhoid, and it had been my birthday when I shunned the diet restrictions. I had kept my date and had taken all the calls and had an ultimately special birthday with 2 chocolate cakes! And this year had been so different - with something missing, but the very special person being there who was missing last year.

Why am I being so senti about something which happened a week back? Huh! Silly me. This weekend has been the one stuffed with stimulating conversations with Ashu and Sam, a random movie which had K and I rotfl and of course the crowning glory good fooooooddddd!

Will leave with the pic of the dosa we ordered at London and in spite of being tremendously gluttonous, were not able to finish :)

The bone of contention

2010-12-03T01:56:00.000+05:30

Recently K and I have been fighting a lot. Its been 5 times and we have had a row about the same thing. I don't want to wash dirty linen in public, but then I had to get it out of my system. I feel maybe my readers can help me ascertain, whether I am being over demanding or he is being under sensitive ( "Under sensitive" sounds so yieeeeksss but wanted "under" in the same sentence as "over" :D )

Ok now the issue is, I feel K is with the laptop alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the time. Yes this "all" is just a fraction of the "all" that I mean. Remember the post about idyllic days, when there was just K and I and books, books, books. Well, now we are internet enabled and laptop-ed too. Now we are officially on the dark-side.

I never got the point of having a laptop of my own. Since I used to spend a good 12 hours with a laptop cos of work, I never got the idea of sitting hooked to the same machine once I got back home. So it had always been K's lappie which was the only one at home. With television and various other avenues, K had near exclusive rights over the laptop, while I sneaked in for my regular usage of emailing, blogging, chatting, booking tickets and the like. It was never a problem.

But out here, without a television, without immediate family and without so much of a social circle, its the laptop which is the window to the world. Once K is back home, around 1900, he obviously has the need to use the lappie. But imagine me, I have the urge to talk to another human being too. I want to know what happened during his day, what did he have for lunch? Whats the latest thing in office. And I want him to hear what are the updates from back home (since I do most of the calling) , I want to share any good thing I read or simply generally what did I do. But then he prefers to unwind by blankly plowing his farm or feeding his chickens (Yes you read it, hes on Farmville!)

There were times,when I took this as the stuff guys do. Being addicted to games etc. But then I started loosing it one day. So whenever I heard his tractor or his animals bray (or for that matter the sound of any of the many annoying games that he plays), I would get into a rant. K's defence would be he needs to unwind, and it was not fair to keep tab of how much he was using the laptop. He was like when I used it, it was to connect with my family/friends or for my interests (blogging) but when he logged on, he was being an internet hog and not communicating enough and being ignorant of my feelings. He charged at me for wanting to make him like me, as in it was ok if he talked to family/friends, chatted with people. But when he played I got irked. This was not done, cos he could not be like me, he was not much of a conversation-ist ,(this coming from a guy who fell in love and got married mostly cos of email conversations!!) he was'nt into blog-world, he needed his dose of games. That made him - him.

I never wanted to be a typical restraining wife, never thought I am one, but does it sound like I am being one? :S I know he is not wrong, and I am not sure if I am right- and so the argument continues (Remember the good ol ad? Coffee?Toffee? And the argument continues :D ).

If but then ...

2010-11-28T01:07:00.000+05:30

A very interesting tag from Renu, I started doing it as soon as I read it. Here it goes -

If I were a month - December :) The time to wrap up (both a year and new year gifts) and begin anew. Nothing like looking forward to a New Year. Does'nt it explain the hype for 31st night! Poor 1st Jan inspite of being the cause of the celebration never gets celebrated much. Yes I have to be a December.

If I were a day of the week- What do zillions of people thank God every week for? Monday? No.Tuesday? Naha. Wednesday? Nopsie. Thursday?Nopsie again. Friday?? Need I say more?

If I were a time of day-Evening. Evenings are so charming. They have a strange sense of romance to them. And for the not so early birds, the look and feel during evening is the same as day break (So sleep on sleepy pies, you are not missing much) And evening is such a joyous moment, kids come back from school and scamper to play. Moms make the leisurely dinner while watching re runs of soaps, what lies ahead in office is calls, you just have to sit through them :D and is there anything better than coming back from work in the evening, enjoying the light sunlight?

If I were a season- Winter. The markets are full of my favorite gobis, capsicums, beans,brrr you name it. Fried rice does'nt taste yummier than in this season. (Sadly somehow due to the supermarket culture, all veggies are available in all seasons now :( )

But in the good old days, we had to wait for winter to savor the tastiest peas, carrots and the likes. Its the season of Diwali, Dussera, Christmas, Id! To sum it all things nice and good. Surely the most power packed season. And did I forget to mention the joys of having ginger tea, curled up with a novel in hand?

If I were a planet - The most intriguing one, for me always has been Saturn. I know its feared in the Hindu pantheon, but then He is known to be a generous planet too! It comes second in size, but then, does Jupiter have rings? Nay nay nay nay nay :)

If I were a sea animal- This might sound silly, but I would have liked to be a ahem ahem Dolphin. :) Yes a nice friendly one. Something about them reminds me of dogs, and I chimply louveeeeeeee dogs.

If I were a direction - East because I can never miss that direction. (Can anyone? Its the side on which the sun rises! )

If I were a piece of furniture-This is a very tough question. I have a lot of favvie furnitures. It was a close call, but then I have to chose one. I would be a bed. You can sit and read, eat (I do, though it drives K mad :D, watch tv, have a phone conversation and then doze off. Its the place where normal human beings can and should and mostly do spend close to 8 hours. Makes one third of the day right? )

If I were a liquid - I would go with Renu on this, I would be water. The liquid which can be in 3 states of matter just like that. The universal solvent and one of the reasons for life on earth.

If I were a tree- I would be a Banyan tree mostly. I find something very majestic about the tree. And I sometimes imagine a rustic getaway when I am bit fuzzled by city life and the picture is never complete with a big Banyan tree welcoming me.

If I were a tool - I am not so much of a tools person, so this was though. I would like to be a pair of scissors. Its a pretty useful one, cant forget the crafts classes! What about the hairstyles that adorn us, not so achievable without scissors eh?

If I were an element- I would be Carbon. The life forming one, the thing that because of its crazy properties forms organic compounds which results in close to 8 chapters in Chemistry for a science student which drive most students against the wall (Am I correct? 8 chapter hmm? Been so long! ). The one which can be the crystalline diamond (the most precious thing, a girls alleged best friend), or can be coal (which caused industrial revolutions to take place). Teams up with many elements pretty nicely :)

If I were a gemstone - Not much into gemstones, but I think being a Sapphire would look cool :)

If I were a musical instrument- A sitar. I feel the most happy notes can flow from that instrument.

If I were a color - Blue blue blue blue. Dont ask me why. The sky, the seas, peacocks - even nature seems to have a thing for blue. Other colors, no offense.

If I were a emotion- I would be satisfaction. I feel no matter, how happy or sad or angry or whatever one is, feeling satisfied simply rocks :)

If I were a fruit-Go crazy over Mangooooooooooes

If I were a sound-I would be the tinkle of a bell, a soft, little sound,and there is always something happy about it. The simple tinkle of bells seem celebratory during Christmas, seem pious in a temple and festive in a larger gathering.

If I were a car - A Merc, elegant, classy. For a more massy one I would be a Maruti 800, the car for everyone.

If I were food-I would be panipuri :) My fav street food.

If I were a taste- Salty. Zindagi main namak chahiye na.

If I were a scent- I would be nothing but Davidoff Coolwater.

If I were a pair of shoes - Sneakers. Always comfortable and stylish too.

If I were a bird - I would be a friendly domestic talkative parrot. I don't like the color green. But a parrot green is something I love. I would love be a parrot especially in an old age home maybe. I am not sure where the idea comes from, but somehow I would keep all company by imitating stupid youngsters and making fun of them :)

Done. A very interesting tag indeed. Now my turn to tag :) And I tag Ashu, Abhishek, Satish

Yea mera India

2010-11-23T00:02:00.000+05:30

There have been lots and lots of things written and said about India and Indians. But then I never came across anything more poignant.

There is no village in India, however mean, that has not a rich sthala-purana or legendary history, of its own. Some god or godlike hero has passed by the village - Rama might have rested under this pipal tree, Sita might have dried her clothes after a bath on this yellow stone, or the Mahatma himself on one of his many pilgrimages through the country, might have slept in this hut,the low one, by the village gate. In this way,the past mingles with the present,and the gods mingle with men too make the repertory of your grand mother always bright (Simply loved this line!) One such story from the contemporary annals of my village I have tried to tell.

The telling has not been easy. Onehas to convey in a language that is not one's own the spirit that is one's own. One has to convey the various shades and omissions of acertainthought-movement that looks maltreated in an alien language. I use the word 'alien', yet English is not really an alien language o us. It is the language of our intellectual make-up - like Sanskrit or Persian was before - but not of our emotional make-up (Soooooooooooo true. The 'feelings' a Hindi/Tamil/Oriya sentence can convey, can never be done in the most poetic English - I personally feel as an Indian). We are all instinctively bilingual, many of us writing in our own language and in English. We cannot write like the English. We should not. We cannot write only as Indians. We have grown to look at the large world as a part of us. Our method of expression therefore has to be dialect which will some day prove to be as distinctive and colorful as the Irish or the American. Time alone will justify it.

After language the next problem is that of style. The tempo of Indian life must be fused into our English expression, even as the tempo of American or Irish life has gone into the making of theirs. We, in India, think quickly, we talk quickly, and when we move, we more quickly (I doooo :) )There must be something in the sun of India that makes us rush and tumble and run on. And our paths are paths interminable. The Mahabharata has 214,778 verses and the Ramayana has 48,000. Puranas there are endless and Innumerable.We have neither punctuation nor the treacherous 'ats' and 'ons' to bother us - wetell one interminable tale. Episode follows episode, and when our thoughts stop our breath stops. amd we move on to another thought. this was and still is the ordinary style of our story-telling. I have tried to follow it myself in this story.

It may have been told of an evening , when as the dusk falls, and through the sudden quiet, lights leap up in house after house, stretching her bedding on the veranda, a grandmother might have told you, newcomer, the sad tale of her village.

Raja Rao

Menton, November 1937

This is the foreword to the book Kanthapura by Raja Rao. The book honestly is not breathtaking but the foreword definitely was for me.....

Hello World :)

2010-11-20T03:41:00.000+05:30

I am writing after a span in which maybe Avatar 2 would have been made by James Cameron :) I am not sure if people remember me (do they even know me?? :S )

So like every programmer this is a mike testing post from me... hence........... Hello World!!

Hope someone is listening out there *Dejected sigh* (Read - please leave magnanimous comments, I am dying to hear from you all)

Well, what had been up with moi? Hmm... well I had gotten used to checking emails at the library, when suddenly one fine day I log and get a comment in red highlighting - We have detected suspicious activity in your account from China and locked it. Please enter your mobile number underneath for verification. Very gingerly I gave the same. Got a confirmation code from Google. (Getting an email from 'Google' - it looks so snazzy in the inbox!! ) Entered the confirmation code and gave a high strength password for the account. But then I was so scared, I stopped checking my emails at any public place.... That my dears was the reason I was out in the dark all the while. It was but last Monday that we got internet at home! Yes God save the Queen, while the masses are bereft of basic facilities like the Internet!!!!! So while I got real busy uploading all the pending photos and chatting with friends, my creatives juices ran completely dry and I wasn't sure what to post out here. But finally I summoned the courage, and am blurting out something.

Will be out with a neater post soon, but quick updates

1. K got promoted!!!!!!Huraaaaaaaaay... It was long pending long due and much deserved. (I am not being boastful but I faced the brunt of being hyper ignored cos his love for his work supercedes his love for me) But there were a host of other promotees among his colleagues. There was a very gung ho atmosphere and this coming close to Diwali made the celebrations even more appropriate. )

2. This reminds me, had a very vibrant Diwali here, even though far from near and dear ones. Lavish cooking (chole bhature and gajar ka halwa), decorations and some decking up, marked the day :)

3. My kid sister, defied me and got her nose pierced!! Yes she did it (My mil is very proud of her ! ) But that kid knows what to do for style and nothing in the blue heaven is stopping her.

4. I feel The Social Network is a very crisp movie and worth a watch. (This is not an update but then felt like saying :) )

Humm....Cant think of anything else, while at the same time, my head is clogged with thoughts. Will be more coherent in my next post, till then will leave with some images of Diwali :)

Guess whos coming for dinner

2010-10-11T00:51:00.000+05:30

No no it wasnt someone very famous that I should be waxing eloquent about like Julie Powell did in her blogs. They were K's technical manager and one of his teamies with family. We had been meaning to call them since a pretty long time. And finally things worked good and our routines coincided for us to meet up. The time was set-Saturday night!

We had an elaborate menu planned - matar paneer(a dish that K loves and mandates that I cook when someone comes since the calorie content of the dish doesnt permit his conscience to have it on normal days), stuffed puris,onion and mint rice, lady's finger in curd and gajar ka halwa for desset. We had an awful lot of shopping to be done for this. We had decided to get started on friday, but a torrential downpour prevented us from doing it.

Saturday morning we rose early to get started. First was a trip to the nearby 'Asian' store to get most of the stuff. After a humongous purchase we realised that we had not been able to manage the carrots,peas and milk. We took the trudge to the departmental store which was on the opposite direction. On the way we decided to finish some bank chores and also sneak a peak in the library. Now how can one manage to sneak a 'peak' in a lib!!! We ended up spending one and a half hour there. Finally with all the shopping done,we came back home all famished. By luck, I had cooked a huge quantity of rice the previous day,so lunch was old south Indian style curd rice. The acute hunger made the curd rice taste even more divine! :)

It was 1400 hours by the time I got to making the first dish matar paneer and K got started with separating the mint leaves. One dish down after 45 mins, I prepared the lady's finger while K was busy grating the stubborn carrots. It was close to 1640 when the ladys finger dish was ready and looked little in quantity for 6 people.K was of the opinion that he should get some more of the vegetable while I was in utter panic mode :S. There was the rice, the dessert and the puris to go and I would need to rework (damn office lingo) on the lady's fingers (a funny name for a vegetable if you think about it) again!!!!!!!!! So rather than being cool headed and discussing and deciding on a good course of action, like most couples we got into a fight(My stance being I would make dal as another dish, K being the lady's finger is a tasty dish and deserves to be more in quantity) We continued our spat while I kept slow killing the carrots in ghee and the rice cooked oblivious of the domestic cauldron. Finally the smell of the halwa which was close to something to die for (how humble can I be eh? ) distracted us. Now K is a person who likes his halwa just the right sweet and he does nt know what is right sweet. Huh. And when I gave him a spoonful of it, he was like 'Mu this IS perfect, you should make this again'. When K says one should cook the dish again, that means he really likes it.(He is such a sweetu he never ever criticises a dish unless it completely lacks chillies :P) Phew!fight over thanks to the carrots and the bill was passed for chane ka dal being the addendum.

I was yet to take a shower and the clock was ticking towards 1730. I made the dough for puris, fried the stuffing and scooted. We were all set, but around 1915 when the dal was yet to get started with I did it again! I panicked yet again! The puris rolling started getting all messy. Thats when K stepped in to save the day, and rolled one Perfect Puri. Then there was no stopping him as he rolled and fried all the remaining 10 puris in a jiffy! How I love my man :D. I made dal in the meanwhile and we were all good to go exactly at 1950.

The guests came in at 2015, and after the usual starting problems with everyone staring at everyone's face, we jumped on the food. But one of the couples had an 18 month old hyper active toddler who was draining them off their energies with her antics and the other couple had a 7 month old baby who was sleeping but had drained them off their energies. So there we were guarding the lil kid and K and I were nearly running around with our plates. We wrapped up dinner real quick. And there was so much to spare. :( Once the guests left, I was like, maybe the dishes did nt come good enough. K said,comeon, God heard my prayers,I wanted more for me!(K can be very greedy when it comes to food and I am on seventh heaven when he likes my food. Baaki duniya jaaye tel lene :P). I was utterly at a loss, that how would we ever finish those gigantic portions of food. On the Sunday when we finished the halwa, we counted one down :). There were many more to go. Finally on Tuesday evening we had finally cleared of the remains of the Saturday :)

The dinner might have been a fiasco but pulling it off with K was such fun. He was the sweetest person on earth that day being at my beck and call. We should do it again sometime soon:).

Will leave with a pic of the halwa :)

Surprises make me write more :D

2010-09-24T20:03:00.000+05:30

I thought my last post was the most random-est thing to take shape, and I was so ho-ho pleasantly surprised by the comments! People read and what I think, liked it! Whoa! So propelled by all, I thought of writing about some more random thoughts of mine.

I feel I keep thinking one thing or the other all the time. Since I cant think all the thoughts aloud, I love blogging which gives me the chance to put some of my words in bold face and maroon font color :) Now that I have all the time in the world to use or to waste, there have been a lot of thoughts whizzing around.

I had often hear Renu say(I have never even met her and it seems she talks to me through her posts :) ) that her children give her all the happiness and sorrow. A couple of days after getting here, these words stuck me as more poignant. I always remember the tear streaked face of my mom as I was leaving Chennai. She took quite some time to get accustomed to the fact, that my calls would not be that frequent, that there would be a time lag, that she could nt reach me anytime she wanted to. I somehow did not want her to make all these adjustments at her age. My heart also went out for my mil, being all alone in our home. Even if K was not there, I was there to give her some sort of companionship, she too did not deserve being just by herself. I know there are many parents who have accepted this as their destiny. Even our parents have gone on to make their lives useful by doing social service and being devout. But I kept feeling, I failed as a child by leaving my parents- that too maybe when I was capable enough to be of use to them. I once confessed this to roomie dear, to which she said, imagine if you were a good for nothing and at home, wouldnt that have been more painful for your parents. Touche. It was paradoxical - and Renu's words drove home like a ram on a rampage. I hope I am a good enough daughter and daughter in law :S

Along with this, the other day I had gone to get myself registered at the local NHS office. In the form there was a question 'First Language'. I had no qualms in filling the answer - I filled it as ahem yep - the Queen's language, English. I did it and then I thought, hmmm, now I had put the thing in black and white atleast somewhere. I have always thought in English, I have been love with the language since I care to remember. Yep, the traditional meaning of first language is one that a person knows from birth but its also one a person speaks best. Honestly speaking I learnt Bengali before Oriya ( the language I called my mother tongue), I tend to lapse into Hindi more easily because of my cosmopolitan friends, and I married into a Tamil household and day in and day out, I talk in English. I am most confident and most articulate when I talk in English. Hmmm to hua na first language :)

I have no idea where do I come up with such absurd thoughts, but then thats me :)

Sans technology

2010-09-20T20:08:00.000+05:30

In corporate lingo I am supposed to be a 'techie' - sounds good eh? Here am I am writing about my life without technology - irony, yep hands down!

A week after I landed here, we were bereft of the internet. K was in a shared accomodation and the person who moved out had the internet connection in his name. So when he moved, out went the internet with him. I somehow managed by checking emails at some of his colleagues' homes. Then I discovered the library and the free internet facility there. I could book computers for 2 hours everyday and browse(This explains my long irregularity in the blog world, both reading and writing. Not that it matters a lot to a lot of people :D. 2 hours were way too less but then atleast I had a continued access. )

We had somehow gotten used to the routine of having no internet. We had South Park, Everybody loves Raymond and Scrubs for entertainment at home. During dinner, we used to sit with a sitcom for while, after which I would retire with a book while K would indulge in a game or a movie of his choice. Slowly as I got attuned to visiting the library and spending more time there, somehow my need for the laptop waned and I drifted towards books and developing an eclectic taste in them. But K's hold over the laptop was not to continue for too long. Suddenly the laptop charger went kaput! Ahem, now imagine. No tv, no internet, no laptop, the cell phones which ring only when K or I call eachother ( Sometimes K's colleagues call him, but apart from that, we make the customary calls home and thats more like it ). I read Abhishek's post some days back about technology having nearly ransacked every part and parcel of our lives, and here I was, in an ahem developed *rolls eyes* country sans technology.

I adjusted fine to the demise of the laptop charger. Slowly K had to drift away from technology to keep himself busy. So there he was forced to read - comics and conspiracy theory stories were his liking. But none the less, thanks to the lack of any gadgets, the house was full of books and the most companionable silence possible. It had both of us resting on the sofa and reading our time off. There was no hurry, no noise, no disturbance - just the sound of pages flipping, giggles coming when we read something funny, each telling the other if we found something interesting and then getting on a track to discuss stuff. It was just us, our thoughts and the thoughts of the writers - a warm cosy cocoon. Its gone to such an extent that now the 20 books I am authorized to take at a time are getting exhausted in no time and K too has applied for his library membership! People who know him will vouch that K and libraries dont go together, but now we are experiencing a brand new love affair!

I am really satisfied that we got to try this - we got to keep away the ipods, the phones, the laptops, the television sets and enjoy something as simple but enchanting as a book. There is no experience which is more enriching.

And the touchdown

2010-09-10T20:09:00.001+05:30

I did write about the run up and the last lap, but forgot to write about the touchdown, the day I finally travelled to be with K after a span of 4 months and 17 days. (Huh I sound so melodramatic, saying as if it was 4 years and 17 months! )

On the eve of my travel, there was franctic packing and lots and lots of phone calls. Me being the preemptive types, had started making the calls 2 days prior to the actual date, but then there are oh! so many contacts. And with the travel plans and dates being packed like sardines in my calendar (I always wanted to use this phrase :) Did itttt!! Aint sure if it matches this scenario, but then who cares :D ) Now back to the point, after the mindless packings and the telephone sessions, I finally had things under control at around 2230. Thats when I had to call up dear A. Well.... she was the one who was through with me like a shadow, and my agony aunt along with Roomie Dear. When I called up A, we had the usual banter of "Packing shacking ho gai" etc for quite a while. When it was time to wrap up, moment spoiler that she is, she said " tu kal chali jayegi, main bahut miss karoongi tujhe". And that was it. Realisation whacked my bony head Wham! Yes, tomorrow I was going to travel so far away. And hell, I was going to miss everyone! I got that big bad blob in the throat, the ones you get when you cant wail aloud :(

I retired to bed, thinking I would never get a wink. I was palpitating. Tomorrow, would be the day, it seemed so near yet so far. I kept thinking, random thoughts, and drifted into a sound slumber till 0400 hours the next day. It was dad's birthday! His 60th. Pity I was leaving him. Last year, on his birthday, we had seen sis off for her training, which was again a sad moment. :( .

Till it was time to move along to check in, my entire gang was just chit chatting and making fun of the deperate, the weird, the bedraggled, the jazzy and the whole league of travellers in the airport. When the moment finally came for me to move along for check in, my mom sporadically burst into tears and so did mil!!! I was like ruko inhe. Till yesterday these two women were all prayers and slokas, that their kids be with their spouses, and now look at them with their hyperactive lachrymatory glands. I was going to miss them tremendously though I had not admitted the fact till that time. My mom, my (silent) dad, my sis, my mil, were waving me off. And in all that movie style I saw everyone, my friends A, Roomie dear, Sam, my colleagues. I thought, here I was leaving everyone that meant something to me, to be with someone who meant (nearly) everything. (ARGH!! What a cheesy dialogue. Kasam se kisi card se nehi utara. Khud likha. Dunno how I came up with these *Shivers* )

The flight itself was uneventful though tiring. I read, watched movies and tried to sleep but was not able to for more than 20 mins. Maybe I was too anxious to reach and there were pangs of nostalgia too. It felt like a free fall, a daze. I was in the same state till I walked out of the airport when I saw K holding a biggggg bouquet of roses and for some reason I got tears. (It was his birthday too! Yea my dad and K are born on the same day! ) (And K is not at all a flower person, like me. He later admitted it was his colleagues idea to take something for her ). I had pictured the moment to be with all razzle dazzle ( a heavy dose of Yash Chopra and KJo movies do disturb the system. ) But it was just normal, we walked holding hands as if we were never apart.

PS. Strangely that night when I hit the bed, after some 20 hours of wakefullness, I did not sleep a wink. It was just last night, I was with everyone with everything belonging to me, and I had slept like a log. The change that had happened over a day seemed too big, too sudden.

I was nothing but a bundle of emotions.

Speaking from the other side of the fence

2010-09-01T20:15:00.002+05:30

I had never "seen" a housewife in my growing years. I knew auntys who were full time at home, but then I never got to see them from close quarters. Everyone I saw during my childhood was a working woman, my maternal grandma, my mom, her sisters, my dad's brothers's wives ( my paternal grandmama raised 8 kids,so I had always seen her busy with the entire line of grandchildren, never a moment of rest for her ) . I was never conciously aware of how a housewife's schedule looks like ( Excuse me for not being "politically correct" and saying "housewife" rather than "homemaker". Working women are no home-breakers. They also "make" decent homes. So I am sticking with the old term )

Since I completed graduation, I have always worked. I never knew any other life. It was in a way my identity, something that defined me. I have taken a leave of absence to be with K. Taking a long leave never equated to leaving the job(which so many of my friends have done to be with their better halves. I really admire them for making that call), but still I had my qualms. What about my appraisal? Where would I start from when I came back? Would'nt my skills be rusty? Would'nt I be too bored?What would I do whole day long? And what would come of me- my identity? I made life hell for K and made him take the 'guilt trip' a million and one times with these quandaries *evil*. But then whats to be done is to be done, and I took the leap of faith. I would not be working, would be without an earning, without an job.

But then without a job did not mean without an occupation. Yes there was a time initially where I was involved in the typical chores, cooking, cleaning, and the predictable. But then K roused me from my stupor. He did point, there was more to me than these. And hell ya, there is so much more. The biggest favor he did was to get the membership of a library. It was something that challenged me intellectually (I have a dream of having a library of my own) . But here I was surrounded by books, of all possible genres! Many which I would have never experimented on! It was a veritable treasure trove. As I spent hours reading, it lead to other things. The cook books made me experiment on cooking, the fitness ones made me be extra cautious and take up walking and yoga a bit more seriliously (not that it has had any effect on the girth :( ) , the classics teleported me to another era and the contemporary books added layers to my perceptions. Not to mention some technical books which I also picked up which did elaborate some understandings I should have gotten clear maybe 6 years ago.

Slowly I outgrew the mouldy life I was getting conditioned to. So much so, now I have a routine of my own, around which I have to juggle reading, talking to friends and family, cooking, household chores, exercises. There are times when K asks me before he comes over for lunch if I am free!

As a housewife, I feel there are no excuses you can have, for the food not being ready on time, for the clothes not being washed and ironed, for the house not been clean, for the bed not being made. For a working woman, some of these aspects are forgiven for one is "juggling" work and home. But as a house wife, the things at home just have to be picture perfect. Along with all this, I think one owes, a lot to oneself. Its easier to motivate oneself to keep fit and look better when there is an entire set of people you are going to meet on a daily basis. If the set of people is only your husband and maybe kids and a guest once in a blue moon, it takes a deeper level of will power to make the trip to the gym or the parlor. External attributes apart, within the realm of the home, one has to extend and etch an identity, gain more experience, develop new perceptions, become more knowledgable. Some of these are I feel, collateral benefits of working (when one works, there are by default new things coming up every single day, new people one gets to work with, new challenges one faces, new places one might need to get to have a job done - which just helps in intellectual growth) . It is not so easy to be self motivated all the while and keep abreast with the changing times - but that is what many housewives do with elan.

Being full time at home, I feel a woman does the role of a nurturer which nature intended her to do. I really appreciate, how housewives selflessly put their education, career aspirations and monetary goals to step into a role which no one but they could do. Standing at this juncture I admire some of my blogger friends - Renu, Piper, Reflections,Deeps (especially you people) - even more.

Ps. I do not intend to belittle either way of life with this post. This was just a personal thought. If I hurt any side of the fence :) Apologies :)

Now time for some action

2010-08-19T18:28:00.000+05:30

I was tagged by Reflections many moons ago to do the gender tag. You gotta spill 10 facts about you which do not fit the stereotype of your gender. And I read some posts executing the tag..and boy o boy some girls simply kick a**!! Phuh! Some had climbed trees, others were gadget freaks, and many many more. I always prided myself in you know being a little 'non girly' (maybe Kajol's rendition of "ayeee mujhe ladki mat bolna haan" in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai glamorised the idea so much more that I tended to believe more in it. Sadly KJo made her ultimately become very "ladki" type before she could charm SRK back :( Damnnn stereotypes :( )
But now as I sit to do this tag, and I had been thinking about it for quite a while, and I am still fumbling to find mere 10 facts about myself which would not fit the gender stereotype :(. Here is a me who loves house work, simply adores cooking, wont step out without a dab of lipstick and eye liner, splashes perfumes like egyptian mummies (a college mate wrote that about me in the slam book, still aint sure whether to take it as a comment or a compliment :S) andddddd I am rotten when it comes to numbers :( (Maths is just so not my cup of tea) . So much so, I am shaped like a pear, that I even look better in the "feminine" Indian attires and skirts than in trousers and the like.
Well, with this sad story as the background, let me start my feeble attempt at making through this tag.

1. Ahem, I am logical.
Long time ago, I had heard in a session back in school, that "As men have reason women have intuition". I would not champion the veracity of the statement, but if that is some general wisdom, then I would have erred against my gender. Cos I buy nothing but logic and reason. You can even make me take 3 steps back after seeing a black cat, but give me one solid, logical reason. Emotional hulabaloo, religious sentimentality, superstitious mores - nothing, none of them can make me do something I am not convinced to do. You gotta convince me with reasoning only. Thats why I prefer Hercule Poirot so much more than Miss Marple :)
2.I am the one who goes to the fridge to fetch the tomato and then spends a good 10 minutes wondering at the open coldness thinking what did I come to get there in the first place.
3.I cannot gossip. Talking about someone is more of information per se. So and so got married to so and so - cool. That person changed a job - awesome. That aunty did that - too bad. It kinda just ends there. Between my friends and family, its more like whats happening in our lives, analysing stuff and discussing some major events. Swapping in laws stories and husband idiosynchrasies and backbiting colleagues or school mates just does not come naturally. There was one time I spoke some 30 minutes with my friend about project management and my mom once took 15 minutes to explain hawala to me. Go figure.
4.I love the color blue! Black comes a very close second,nearly tied neck to neck with red.
5.I can drive and 'park' the car with dexterity :)
6.I do not understand flowers. As in, I love seeing someone holding a bunch of flowers for me and even like holding the same for sometime. But then I dont know what to do. They seem like such a waste. I feel they should be left to adorn the plants they are supposed to :(.
7. In the same vein,I hate teddy bears and other stuffed toys. The only thing that strikes me when I see any stuffed toy is the humungous amounts of dust they can trap and the lovely sneeze sessions they can give! (A teddy once made me sneeze so much, I was nearly paralyzed huh!)
8.Fascinated by the yellow metal - thats so not me. "Mujhe sone ke kangan chahiye" is something K will never ever hear from me. The love affair women have with gold completely beats me.

Two more to go,I am inching towards the finishing line :D
9.I am a D.I.Y person. I would not wait for K to reach for stuff in the highest shelves but would prefer putting a chair and elevating myself to reach the thing I want. Same goes for stuff gone kaput be it a telephone chord or the ipod.
10. I HATE(underline hate, make the font real big,scream it out from the roof tops) Love stories. Yessssssssssss......is this a winner or what. Reading/viewing love stories gives me an uneasy feeling in the stomach and at the end of the exercise I am so tired, I dont even get sleep. So please keep away from the DDLJs(I like it just cos its an SRK movie), the You have got mails and Sleepless in Seattles. What makes me feel good? Liberating movies like Ab tak Chappan, Black, Kill Bill (Oh how I love that movie!) and even something as slapstick as American Pie would also do. I have read 3 Mills and Boons and they are some waste of time. Long long time back, I migrated to more realistic stuff.

I did itttttttttttttttttttt. Now I would like to tag Renu, Ashu,Satish, Shylu and Abhishek (Bahut time ho gaya tumhe tag kiye hue *evil* )

The last lap

2010-08-03T00:08:00.000+05:30

When I was back in Chennai,the last week with my parents and sister were one of the most fulfilling and fun filled ones. It was going to be a long time before we would be together again, so we decided to make the fullest of it.

My mom comes to Chennai and I don't take her to T Nagar for shopping is just not done. So we had the customary trip to T Nagar which resulted in quite some heavy shopping. I tend to loose my patience with such stuff but then anything for mommy dear. Along with this we also had the trips to make to K's office which was far far away from humanity. I had to make 4 trips to the office to get all the travel related stuff done,and boy I did notch some kms in my car!Again, it was going to be quite a while before I drove the beauty again, so I was not AT ALL complaining about the time spent with her. Now also even though I have the most ravishing cars serenading on the streets, my heart longs for the Red Beauty parked in our apartment back in Chennai. :(

By the grace of God, my mother in law and mom get along like a house on fire. (Touchwood) Ironically there are times when the ladies gang up against me! This time too was no different, with both of them pampering me when I got tired of running here and there, helping me a lot with the packing, suggesting what to take and what to skip and equally reprimanding me if I lost patience. It was also heartening to see, both of them cook side by side. Mil making the south Indian delicacies and mom cooking for her finicky husband :). They also did chores together, mil putting the washing machine,mom drying the clothes and folding them, cleaning up some of the mess the packing used to create and all the other pesky work that creeps up. I really miss the two moms I have :(

My dad was way too busy those days. There was the Soccer World Cup, Wimbledon, Twenty Twenty between England and Australia if I am not mistaken and some other series. So while the whole house zip zapped and zoomed, my dad was the stationary figure, completely glued to the TV. The one time he moved muscles was during the morning walks. And I was not the one to miss the walks with him. All the while, I used to walk all alone and with the ipod plugged in. This time it was going to be with my dad. It brought back old memories of when I was in school and dad, sis and I used to go on long walks. Suprisingly, my sister, not one to wake up before 0800 also jumped in to the prospect of walking even though it entailed getting up a 0600! Three of us had some enjoyable walks around Besant Nagar and I will always cherish those mornings.

The gang of girls went out for a dinner one night which will always remain one of my favourite outings. We went to a place called "Once upon a Pirate" near the Besant Nagar beach and had a splendid evening there. We gorged on some delicious food and took all the time in the world chatting about this and that. Dad decided to put up at home itself since,he did not want to budge an inch from the TV front.

Mom,sis and I also spent a lot of time walking in the evenings to the nearby stores. We used to spend the evening running small small errands, someday for the rolling pin, for safety pins some other day,some evening it was a trip to the parlor for some pampering while some other time it was a temple visit to thank chubby God.We just needed an excuse to step out of the house and do things together. Towards the fag end of my days in Chennai, the times became more action packed. There was purchase of new luggage, some clothes for K and other some other knick knacks. The list that was made was big, but it was awesome fun, checking off things which had already been purchased, striking out stuffs which we felt were not necessary, weighing the suitcases and then again rearranging the stuff all over again. There were some things which I wanted my sister to take back since she would be able to use them atleast. There was fervent packing of those items as well. Now as I reminisce, there are so many many instances I can think, when we rolled over laughing over some silly joke, got all hyper on some instance, raised voices over some difference. But one common thread that ran through all the 5 days the 5 of us were there, we were in it "together". Everyone was thinking in the same direction. I thank God for making me pass through the difficult times that were and in the end showing me how much my entire family rallied for me and K. Touchwood. And Thank God!

The stuff great weekends are made up of

2010-07-28T01:00:00.002+05:30

Disclaimer:Mildly mushy post ahead from an unromantic person. The post may have ridiculous metaphors, so kindly curtail any instinct to throw up when they come.

Last weekend was simply amazing, just the right ingredients which make up a near perrrrrrrrrrrrfect weekend. Biggg Touchwood to this.

We made a trip to Liverpool, so there was the basic and the most enticing element of all - travel!Being a typical Sagi, I am nearly ever ready for a trip. And since I came here, this was one proper travel that K and I were making. I who was spending all my weekends at home back in India, was getting a chance to travel with K after so long, that I was giggling like a silly girl at the mere thought of it. Moreover, Liverpool is a World Heritage City, so the element of history added on to the travel, was like an extra dash of ginger in a warm cuppa tea :D(Boy my love for tea takes my stupid sense of poetry to new heights! )

By 0545 we were up on Saturday morning,and packed breakfast which consisted of sandwiches and fruits. I made tea for both of us, after which we were all set for the walk to the railway station. The city was a sight to behold, but what I liked best was the long walk K and I took across the Albert Dock. With the River Mersey lapping the shores and sea gulls flying overhead and pigeons abounding on the streets, it was a hmm...what I deem,a romantic walk :) What would have made the thing perfect was - Sunshine! It was cloudy and I am like Jadoo, just cant do without sunshine. Thats why I so adore Chennai weather, I can never complain about the lack of Sunshine :D. And when everyone cribs about the hot and humid weather, yours truly will be basking in the superb Sun :) Walk done, we sat over a bench and had the sandwiches. K's idea of a perfect trip is he should eat there and sleep there. He loved sitting and eating on the benches, and if I would not have stopped him, I am sure,he would have gone ahead, asked me to kindly sit on some other bench, and enjoyed a niceeeee nap.

We took a ferry over the River Mersey, and thanks to K's choosiness, we ended up missing some seats which would have given us a good view of either side of the river. So there was a bit of roothna from me and the splendid manana from K came in the form of him getting a "corner stand" for us (Corner stand, is like when you get a corner place for standing, and can just lean against the railings, rather than having to hold anything for balance. I loveeee window seat and corner stand :D ) Who then cares for historical sights when there is a "corner stand" and K to lean over.

The cruise done, we came to the city center for lunch. Lunch was pasty and potato wedges. I did not like it so much, I still want the onions, dhaniya powder, jeera powder,little chilli, turmeric and decent amount of salt to be part of whatever I am ingesting. Cheese, white colored food items, boiled vegetables, sauces and ketchups still do not reach the spectrum of "palatable" on my tongues spectrometer. But K's concern at seeing me trying to somehow "eat" the pasty(adj) pasty(noun) was very cute, and took the outing a notch up.

Lunch was followed by a trip in the hop on hop off bus around the city. We killed an hour like that,but better still was the hour we killed sucking orange popsicles at a park. Idyllic. But here, they make those popsicles out of pure orange juice, which does not leave the Oraaaanjeee color on your tongue! How pathetic is that! The whole intention of getting a popsicle is to get the color on the tongue. There is a lesson or two in adulteration that Indian Chuski makers can teach these guys, hmpf!

By the time we got home and hit the bed, we were dead tired.

Sunday....was another treasure trove.

Sunday, the intention was entirely to take it slow and low. K hit upon the idea to take me to a store which hosted a lot of Indian stuff. It was a solid 25 mins walk after which we reached the departmental store. Seeing vegetables like palak, methi, karela, raw banana- and the likes, I was all agape. Yea since I have come down here, I had not even chanced on seeing these vegetables.

When we started, K took a travel bag with him. I was like why travel bag? His answer was, you will see. And true to his words,I was mega carried away with all the Indian fares. And I did end up buying enough to stuff the entire travel bag. Shopping done, K took me to Yaadgar, a place which you wont forget in a hurry, cos the chole bhature there are to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee for!A Punjabi granny sitting nearby, got all pally with us. And I could not help but get reminded of my dear Punju roomie dear :D I wanted to have jalebi too, but they said, they prepare jalebi in the afternoons only. Anyways, the stomach was all tubby with the delicious lunch and we trekked back. Gluttonous that we are, we saw a place which sold Paan. And as daane daane pe likha hai khane wale ka naam, the place sold jalebis too! We purchased them, and happily munched on the paan and scooted home.The splendid sights and sounds and tastes of the trip, filled me with nostalgia and longing. Cant thank K enough for taking me there.

Sunday, also luckily happened to be the day when I got the right mix to make the perfect South Indian filter coffee. Here the milk is different, the measure of sugar to be taken is different the only thing same is the coffee powder I carried all the way from India. So after 2 failed attempts, I was third time lucky.Since the coffee in the morning had come out so well, K and I were majorly tempted to have a mug full in the evening also. It was simplyyyyy divine!!!!

We again took a small stroll in the evening. And wrapped up for the day with all time movie of ours - Kill Bill :D

The runup

2010-07-23T00:01:00.000+05:30

I am now living up to the life of a homemaker to the hilt. I surprise myself, as to how I am able to keep myself sane without the 8-12 hours of office work which used to so take up my time.

But before I got to this phase, it was quite a roller coaster ride getting here in the first place. With K leaving India in Feb, with everything being unsure, the duration of his stay, my plans of getting there, our home in Chennai and the whole 9 yards, we were way too much in the dark. I was getting opportunities at work, which I was unable to accept with K's tenure being unclear. I did not want K, mil and I to be spread across continents. I was with mil at my own home, this was solace enough.Yeah somedays were real real bad days, when roomie dear and Ashu darling used to bail me out. Seriously you guys simply rockkkkkk!!!!!! :D But then many a times,the thought of not working and just being with K, sacrificing a "career" used to ding me so bad, that I used to go crazy. Anyhoo, I somehow managed to scramble through the dilemmas and it kinda got clear,that K was gonna be there till the end of Feb 2011 atleast.

With this clarity, I ventured across and started processing my release formalities from the new account I had joined. God bless the manager with a zillion happiness for being understanding enough and going ahead with my release without much ado.When I was at the fag end of starting my Loss of Pay leave, K blurted out something in a meeting,and was going to be honored with a return to India albeit with a better role and designation. But again the $^%$&^%^&&& managers were going to take a while to "finalise" the move. They were still a bit uncertain. And I was supposed to SIT and WAIT for people across the seas to make a %$£^* decision and then prepare myself and "act" accordingly. Amazinggggg!!!!!

The wait was dragging on. In the midst of things,K and I decided that we would go forward (again using the office lingo huh) and personally process my tourist visa to the UK. It would burn a biggie whole in the pocket, but then somethings gotta give. The limbo was too much to bear.

Ironically, the day we were jumping the gun and I was exactly 10 minutes away from filing my papers in the consulate, K called and said,the decision was that he would stay put, till the beginning of 2011. It took the "$%&%^* management ^*%£^! 4 weeks, which is one month to pass this through. Well,with the kitty cat finally out of the smelly bag,all things seemed restful, with me needing to step up on finalising the loss of pay leave,asking my parents and sis to come down to Chennai to see me off and also make some itsy bitsy purchases(mostly K's demands).

Those days there seemed to be nothing moving. Unsurity ruled the day. Things are not very farrr from different now. Yes,I am with K, which is blissful. But then we have a lot of things to iron out, how long can we put up with a single income?How long am I not gonna work?How do I restart my career after the long hiatus?And if K decides to stay here longer, would I be returning?Would mil be joining us? Brrrrr.... I should grab some ginger tea :)

Be careful what you wish for...

2010-07-15T23:39:00.000+05:30

Cos.....it might just come true.

I remember talking to a college mate of mine who was serving notice in the firm he was working with. It so happened, that his notice period got over 2 days before his joining in the subsequent firm. That technically made him 2 days without a job!! When he told this to me, I was like life must be idyllic eh? Wake up when you want, have a lazy breakfast, stroll around the house, enjoy a leisurely lunch, a siesta, then a warm cup of tea in the evening made by the better half followed by some hours lolling in front of the television and then dinnerrrrrr. Hmmmm...its such a pleasant dream that soch ke hi aakhon main paani aa gaya...And I blurted...."Oh I so wish I was a proper homemaker some day".

And my prayers have been answered (not that I am dying out of joy, human nature we never ever appreciate what we get huh) But then for all practical purposes, I am a pukka homemaker now. Morning involves waking up (ahem leisurely), having a lazzzzzzzzzzzy cup of tea with biscuits (the cup is so lazy that I have to drag it to my lips) (My jokes are getting sorry-ier* by the day).Then I take alllll the suuueeeeet time in the world to cook lunch. And like a proper pati vrata naari in Madame E.Kapoor soaps, I wait for hubby dear to come from the khet(ahem office).The only thing missing is a silk saree, which is generally replaced by the most worn out pyjamas or wrap around skirts. After lunch is done with the man, I get cleaning the kitchen and washing utensils. This is followed by thinking about what to make for dinner and getting a list of stuff to be bought if my mind hinges on a particularly elaborate dish to cook. I enjoy a brief siesta of some 90 odd minutes after which I venture out on some errand or the other. I take close to 45 minutes getting back home,cos those thunder thighs sure do need some workout(damn them ). Thennnnnnn its cooking again, followed by eating and cleaning.

The brief moments away from kitchen are filled with calls to mommy dear and chatting with friends. Also a bit of reading and surfing the net. Then of course, there is cleaning the house, washing, drying, folding and ironing clothes, generally gazing out of the window :) and till date it also had been what to put up in my blog :D

Welll............ now that the last one has been done, I have a hugeeeeeeee responsibility off my shoulders :)

I will surely be more regular going forward (Damn office lingo! Going forward was something we used at the drop of hat or for that matter at the drop of anything :D. No more using "going forward" going forward :) )

*I don't think there is a term like sorry-ier :S, but see not using the grey matter enough does make one hallucinate words :S

The words that sum up beautifully what I want to write

2010-05-28T15:55:00.001+05:30

This song is my all time favorite! One of the rare occassions where I prefer the movie version than Eric Segal's Man Woman and Child.

The lyrics loosely translate like this

I am not angry with you life, I am just surprised

Your innocent questions distress me

I never thought that to live, I would have to take care of sorrows

I never thought that everytime I smile, I would have to repay the favour of the smiling

Now everytime there is a smile on my lips, I feel as if there is a debt on my lips

Life, your sorrows have taught me new relationships

Sometimes I have got the respite of shade under scorching sun

If today the eyes well up, the tears will flow through

Tomorrow, maybe I will not even have the tears to shed

I had kept one tear, but am not sure where did I let it flow

(The translation is to the best of my auditory perception and Hindi knowledge. Any mistakes may please be pointed out :) )

The doldrums do not seem to end, hoping God gives me strength and the patience to go through this. For.... this too shall pass :)

The sinner is back again

2010-05-27T14:56:00.001+05:30

I would rot in hell for the sins I commit :( God Bless my soul :S

No this time around apart from the usual gluttunous streak, I committed the other sin of SLOTH. Yes, yours truly spent more hours being horizontal than being vertical. The very next day of my landing in Bbsr had me travel to my granny's place, which is customary. After spending the weekend there, I had the Monday all by myself. And guess what I did - I slept. Yes just plain and simple spent it sleeping. I had hit the bed the previous day at around 0030 hours and was up at 0830 in the morning. I saw my sissy off to office and then put on the air conditioner at a lovely 24 degrees Celsius and by 1030 hours, I was in sleep's arms. I woke aroung 1430 and then had the lunch and by 1530, guess what, I was sleeping again. This routine continued for nearly 4 days! I was myself amazed at how much I could sleep. But I simply love sleeping, and my mom was of the opinion I had lost weight (ahem ahem, moms and their eyes). I am bloating like a toad on a rampage :( and mom wanted me to get all the (ahem ahem ) rest!!

The week did have me doing some office work at tight schedules, during the evening hours, more because I was sleeping throughout the mornings. The next week, I was more human in my sleep durations. And was slowly limping to normalcy. But then the Thursday of the week had K throw a bomb at me. Without divulging the ugly details, I would say, it had me spend 4 utterly sleepless, tear soaked nights (sniff, sniff) To make that up, after the fourth day I was back sleeping like a log, all the time :D The time bomb that K dropped is still ticking and we are still waiting on the casualities, but till then.... Mujhe mat roko mujhe sone do :D

Well "The Mask" always asked for somebody to stop him, but here I am and something is stopping me from going back to Chennai and leading a normal life with normal sleep. First I had the tickets cancelled due to Madame Laila, who made an announcement with much pomp and glory, but was a damp squib. Then the AI officials chose to go on a "flash strike". And I ended up having an extended holiday in Bbsr. I had to run helter skelter to get the alternative arrangements, cos it was imperative to be in office on the 31st. After a lot of scurrying around, I finally paid through my teeth and managed a return flight ticket for Sunday. Now that the worry is over.... lemme zzzzzzzzzzzz again :)

In sync

2010-05-21T22:46:00.000+05:30

I think I have written it on the wall how much I adore my beautiful mom! Not only I adhere to a lot she says, I also relate to her a lot.

She and I are married to men who share the same birthdays so temperamentally they are very very alike. We both endure the same kinda situations cos of the men in our lives. Its the same kind of reasoning that works with them, its the same kind of pampering that works with them and its the same kind of scolding that again works with them. I always thought I could handle someone like dad very easily because I was the one who handled him best in the family. But then handling someone like a daughter and handling someone as a husband is an entirely different ball game. So now I can understand how my mom would have been tempted to put a gun on dad's temple and make him acquiesce to certain decisions. Or why she would go completely ballistic on some issues when my dad would be blissfully drowned in the editorials of some newspaper. She was always the one who knew the pulse of the any scenario while my dad was the one who preferred taking the path of least resistance. I have increasingly felt that K and my machinery also works the same way as it does for my mom and dad. With this I have begun to identify even more with my mom.

We also share the same moonsign! We kind of go through the same phases during the same times. Now, as I am in a proper limbo with respect to my career and personal dimension, exact same is the situation with my mom. Her personal side is taken care of, cos more or less everyone is settled (Touchwood) but her professional one is in doldrums. Ever since I came down to Bhubaneswar, we have spent hours on end speaking to each other. We would sit with glasses of the most delicious coffee and go on discussing stuff. Its really wonderful and enlightening talking to her. Sometimes shes the real expert who gives the most deft suggestions. At other times shes like a girl herself aye ayeing to whatever I suggest. There is absolutely no generation gap between the two of us. Maybe she thinks too ahead of her times or I am with old age thoughts :) -- any which ways neither of us is complaining. How time flies with both of us just lazying on the balcony and talking about all the things under the sun simply amazes me.

I still remember a day I came back complaining from school, "I don't have any friends." I am not sure what led to me proclaiming that, but I remember making that announcement. And my mom took me into her arms and said, "Come on I am your best friend. Who said you do not have any friends?" No matter how I have moved and where I have moved, I think this remains the same still. There have been times when I have completely thought poles opposite to her, when I have defied her (and believe me every single time I have repented it, no matter how absurdddd her idea might have seemed to start with) and when I argued with her till the last tooth :D , she has been the one I have returned to always. Mummy - you are the best!

PS. I am not sure what made me write this post, maybe the realisation yet again of the extent to which she still plays a vital role in shaping me every day.

I cant even think a suitable title!

2010-05-19T15:54:00.007+05:30

I guess I am really, badly out of touch with blogging. Cos earlier when I got down to write anything, the first thing I would have in mind was the title of the post. Now after this span of inactivity, I am not even able to reach a good title to the post! Huh! How pathetic is that!

I would not say I took a break from blogging, because a break is timed and with a purpose. I just could not compose myself for blogging. Every single time I sat down to write anything, I used to be a scatter brain. Too many thoughts, too many worries, too many choices, too many dilemmas kept me too fickle. There were things going haywire in office, with there being work pressure plus some people pressure too. Things were very far from perfect on the home front too. And with K being away, I was a literal zombie. Yea, I did have my traditional vent in the form of my mom ( God Bless her!! Shes been my guiding angel carrying me through the troubled waters with her incessant support) But then keeping things from K ended up in me off loading it to him at the wrongest of times and the whole nine yards of being upset and patching up.

To make matters worse, I was getting choices, especially on the work front which were driving me against the wall. Some were such, they would meet my near term goals in a jiffy and make me reach cloud nine, but in the long run, my family commitments would go for a toss. There were others, which entailed a lot of hard work initially but would cut out my long term aspirations like a charm. There would be nights on end, when I used to cry myself to sleep, not seeing any end of any of the problems. There were days when some prospect would make me go mad with glee thinking, ah! finally I reached the end of it all. Fending all this without K near me, was simply not my cup of tea. I so so so many times thought of writing this or that out here. Or at least declaring I am off on a break. But then, a break was not my idea at all. I was rather on a roller coaster ride and never took the time to compose myself. It was being like ping pong ball, getting beaten up both at professional and personal life. What cant be cured must be endured, so there I was swallowing what ever came my way.

I do not want to sound like a martyr here, nor want to loll in self pity. Tough times come up on any one and everyone. A saying goes, "You never get anything before time, you never get anything more than destined" I had no other go but to wait for the time to get whatever was destined. I know the time has not yet come, nor has my prize been etched out for me yet. The only thing I was supposed to do was wait patiently. (IMPATIENCE is my middle name - waiting quietly is a toughie for me) I used to see people who were having completely different genres of problems and used to think, thank God, I dont have that on me. And I had the wonderful support of my friends, Ashu( You have handled me superbly, I have divulged my life to the tiniest granule to you, and your earnest help is something I am grateful to and will remain forever!) , roomie dear (The positive vibe that swells from you, sweeps me over and keeps me pepped up like a cuppa ginger tea! :D ) and one of K's friend who really took care of me like family. My mom was forever the Pole Star :) and then there was a cute set of colleagues who actually poured a lot of shimmer into moribund work! I cannot thank you guys enough, and I know you dont read my blogs :) but A, D and S, thanks for unknowingly being the help you were.....

Boy, this is sounding like an Oscar speech :S Yieeeeksss.... Did anyone fall asleep?? I was waiting for the month of May to make a trip to my recharge zone - Bhubaneswar. So here I was 2 days preceeding my sister's birthday with wonderful gifts for her, mom ( for momma s day) and dad ( he will be senior citizen July this year!). And yes though I am still worrying, I am in the midst of all the dilemmas ( I think I keep getting one per day) , the choices are still looming (I live by the Matrix Mantra that the power to choose is just an illusion but then when you get a choice, you feel as if you to exercise your right :( ) ... but I am in my ultimate comfort zone where no one judges me, where I don't measure what I say, when I am quintessentially just Me. And I am loving it :) So here I am in the lighted phase of the tunnel, garnering my resources for I am not sure whats up at the next bend on the road :S . So help me God.

Here I am

2010-05-15T19:42:00.002+05:30

Thank you all for keeping me in your thoughts. Life was topsy turvy to say the least for the past 2 months. And I am not sure if I was liking the chaos or fighting it. Now as I see light at the end of the tunnel, well maybe.... I will be back with a long post in a short while.

Chew this!

2010-03-23T11:43:00.004+05:30

After writing that foodie post some days back, its food which keeps coming back to my posts again and again. This time it is food for thought :P

Piper asked some really pertinent questions by asking :-
A question to all my blog buddies. You can answer anonymously, in case you`re uncomfortable. But do answer.

Has marriage killed the girl in you?
Are you more programed, more regulated in your thoughts and deeds?
Or are you simply calmer? Assuaged?
Are you still in love?
Or are you simply loving? Caring, fond and loyal..?

What does marriage do to you?

I am tempted to answer all these questions in the ulti professional way, cos these questions are so pin pointed and concise. I somehow love such questions; if day in and out, we had conversations which were so precise, wow! The world would have so much more clarity :) I know I am digressing and should get back to the work at hand.

Has marriage changed me - I will say No. Marriage has changed not changed my personality, but marriage has changed my responses to stimuli. I still think the same way I used to - it never did achieve killing the girl within me - the methodical, practical, stubborn, temperamental girl within me. Let me explain how marriage changed my responses with an instance. I still connect with my family and friends like I always used to, but then many a times if K is around, I know I chose who deserves my attention first. There have been times when for some chore, I have asked my parents or my friends to call in later. I would not have done the same during my spinster days, because there would be nothing more important my family or friends needing me. So though I am the same, the way I respond to the same things are different, because I am in a different set of circumstances right now.

In the same way, programmed I never was to do anything. I take small logical steps one at a time, and that is precisely what I still do. But now, its not just me or my personal aspirations or wishes I have to consider when I think of any issue. There is always K and mil, who are in the purview. They are an extension of me now and I cannot take absolutely any stand on anything without considering how it might affect them and how they might feel about it. It does not curtail me, because I regard them as an integral part of me. Same way, I know I come in their thoughts and actions. In this respect I should say, I am in no way calmer than I was before. Many a times rather to accommodate especially how K thinks, results in arguments and fights - but then that's what keeps the party going :)

I personally do not understand love - as in falling in love love. For me love is something unconditional, so it is something I have for my parents, my country, my language, my pets, my friends, for kids(I know I would love them unconditionally when I would have them) . I never fell in or out of love for them, I just love them ever since I remember. I do not understand how one can develop this unconditional emotion for some stranger. My perception of love between couples is - it starts with some emotion which amalgamates itself with many others and forms a complex one which can be summed up as love. As an example, one emotion which brings the partners together might be admiration. A mutual admiration brings the people in question close, enhances communication, and then rises forth into respect, concern so on and so forth. It kinda snowballs into what the world calls love. Same way, it could be empathy. Its very easy for two people under similar circumstances to understand each other and connect at a deeper level. And down the line, the connections that build up, yea thats love. I believe, every event of falling in love can be drawn back to some tangible emotion or some more understandable situation.With K and I, it was friendship. He was a friend for me when I was passing through one of the worst phases of my life, and same was I for him. We were uninhibited in our friendship cos we had the assurance that we understood each other completely. Inspite of the thick friendship we had, when K proposed, I had a whole lot of doubt whether to convert such a lovely friendship into a complicated relationship. But then during the 6 months, that I kept him waiting, I saw, he was serious enough to take my responsibility and I was important enough for him to wait. As per me, even though I had dismissed him , it was his advise that I needed , his words that comforted me, his support that I seeked. We both had a good support system of family and friends, but it was each other we sought - we had allowed an innocent friendship and mutual trust and respect to gather itself into love - the unconditional forever and ever kinda love. It might sound clinical, but then I still feel, its upon us whether we want to fall in love or not. Its upon us whether we cross the line and surrender our self to another individual. That is the very reason why arranged marriages work. And that is how love works everywhere. And yes Now I say - I am in Love , truly, deeply (I would not say madly, cos with how logical I am being - I would nt be mad :D ) and unconditionally.

If I sum up what marriage does to me, it would be marriage gives me a cause to make better. Make everything better, myself, my career, my personality, my home, my husband. Women are driven by the emotion (I think I read this in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) that if something works, it can work better. Marriage makes me work harder on that. Being a spinster, yes I used to work hard to improve my state, but to what end could I be driven? I would reach the zenith too easily. My radar would encompass me, my parents and my sister to the max. Now its my paternal home, my own home, my mil, and in the future our kids and theirs. The reason we both struggle to make it better is for each other, and for our combined future. That drive would never come if one is alone. And marriage does ensure that I am able to experience every possible emotion that God ever created. The depths of depression I feel when K and I fight would have never been in my life if it wasn't for marriage. Same way, the throes of exuberance I feel when he hugs me when hes back from office would not have been there in my life if it wasn't for marriage. Tension, love, planning, budget, family, career,life,holidays - every single thing I can think of has a different meaning thanks to wedlock. Believe it, this is coming from someone who was more or less a feminist till high school and never understood the efficacy of marriage. For me, back then it was just a gateway to loose ones individuality and take in a whole lot of trouble. But now I understand, there is more than just meets the eye. I don't say, life cant be lived alone. There are many who do lead it alone, due to various factors, and I applaud their ability to pull it off. But if one happens to be married, I don't think its a laddoo one repents eating, the laddoo is worth every bite, but each bite is not guaranteed to be sweet :D

Ps. This post is specially for Piper, and girl awesome questions there. I could never have such profound ideas. I always wanted to write about marriage, but there was so much in my head, I could never figure out where to start and where to end. You gave me direction.
Ashu,Jack,Renu, I would love if you would pen your 2 pints.
My post was entirely on personal experience and what I have seen in my limited scope. I know there are broken homes and utterly mismatched couples, I have a very close relative who has separated. If this post seemed totally skewed towards a rosy picture, my apologies for not having thought enough. And if I did not make any sense at alllll..... well thats me thinking aloud again, I might have uttered gibberish :D

Fighting the demons within

2010-03-20T20:09:00.006+05:30

20 is a very important number for me - for personal landmarks. I got married on a 20th, I joined the firm which brought me back to K on the 20th and I complete 2 years with the same firm today on the 20th. It was on the 20th of last month that K left India. Its been a month! And I have had my shares of downs and not so downs :)

Somehow the lack of any friends or family in Chennai used to make me feel very jittery about K not being there with me. I used to live the emptiness before he left so that I get used to it. It was a futile exercise. The logical half of my mind did assert that I was wasting precious time which I could have with K. But then the pessimistic me used to think, better get used to things and live the reality that is gonna be there in some days. And things were such that, before his travel, we had 3 weeks just to ourselves. Mil acts as a balancing factor in the house. Her presence keeps us guided and grounded. Without her, we lost our tempers more easily, got distraught more quickly and completely drove the other person against the wall frequently. But then, us being us, we would patch up sooner than we fought and the Sorrys and "will miss you too"s and hugs would flow with equal ease later on. It was a big turmoil with everything uncertain and the only thing keeping us afloat being hope. We were not sure, whether to voice our concerns and discuss everything or not address some facts and be in denial till we could. Because discussing some tricky points might just make both of us feel more diffident and wary without the company and the support of the other. How we passed through those days is still a blur to me. Now its a fact that I am somehow coping without my bebe and hes somehow coping without his bunny.

I am not sure, how he manages to keep his sanity and his balance in the trying times that he is through. Work is jam packed for him and he has the company of some real good people. He does miss me, but he does'nt admit it. But I know exactly how I am faring. The day times zap through with cooking, walk, getting to work and getting work done occupying me completely. I am trying some changes on the work front; things are yet to move, but the struggle keeps me occupied. Many a times, in the midst of it all, when I suddenly feel a pang of dejection, I feel really lost. Those are the times I need K the most. At home its books and some other reading that keep me really busy. But then its just an attempt to fight the demons within. The demons of lonesomeness and pessimism. Many a times, I get into this mode when I imagine the worse case scenario. It is not a pleasant feeling at all and then I get bogged down by a million and one negative thoughts. Sometimes when someone else comes up and tells me their sad story, I simply am not able to think anything hopeful. I start feeling grumpy for the person in question and start pitying myself. I hate doing that, but that is the only thing I end up doing.

But then there are the other times, when I see everything through rose tinted glasses. I see everything falling into place, just as we hope. An all win scenario when everything at stake goes our way. It peps me up to no end. The optimist in me rises to the occasion and then grabs all the things that can be accomplished when the adrenaline rush continues. Those moments are simply great. I am at my best with K, I instill faith in my near and dear ones that I am doing great. I would love my mom not to sense my actual state of mind all the time. I wish she always felt I am doing good. But then shes a mom and a great mom at that with some Extra Sensory Perception. She happens to call me exactly when I am not so ok and does a remarkable job in making me feel better. Really its been to her divine strength that I get the will to move on - to think beyond the limitations. My darling sis, keeps talking to me as if shes my beau. She talks about normal stuff and silly things to keep me upbeat. I cannot speak enough about the efforts they are making to make me not fall into the pits of negativity.

Its a constant oscillation and an emotional roller coaster - hope to see the end of this phase soon. As dearest S my friend keeps telling me everytime I start on this sob story - This too will pass.

PS. S - thank you.

Return of the sinner

2010-03-14T11:39:00.002+05:30

Last time I had gone to Bhubaneswar, I met this. I never got to savor the usual tastes, sights and sounds of my home town which I love so much.

This time the day K left for his overseas assignment, I left the day following to my parents place. (Yea I am a bit of an escapist and a procrastinator. I wanted to escape the immediate vacuum of K not being there, and fill it up with my family people. And I wanted to postpone the facet of missing him for a couple of weeks at least. My manager God bless that dear soul, was graceful enough, to agree that I work from Bhubaneswar for 2 weeks).

This time, the transit was very different. I was having mixed emotions over leaving for my parents home on one hand and feeling the absence of K. And since he was also in transit at that time, I did not have to send the usual messages to him of having reached the airport, having boarded the flight and reached safely. But the moment I reached Bhubaneswar, the warmth I felt was enormous, enough to make me be in a trance. As soon as I reached home, there was moms amazingly tasty chicken curry! It just enhanced the trance I was experiencing. (Am I sounding like Mr. Nityananda. Please excuse the very poor joke I tried there :D ) Inspite of the lunch in the flight, I could not resist having one big helping of the curry with rice and dal. Little did I know, that was the start of my favourite sin - YES - Gluttony!

I broke all barriers and ate, ate and ATE! Not just that day, for the 16 and a half days that followed. The next day was a trip to my grandmama's house. Now she too is a cook par excellence. But the pulao and soya chunks curry she had made that day, were extra delicious. My aunt, uncle and their kids had also come over, and she had brought her special sweetdishes too. The table groaned under the weight of the loaded dishes, and I groaned after having stuffed myself like a Thanksgiving turkey. During lunch, since we cousins were pulling the leg of one whos allegedly in "love" (:S Kids are falling in love at a younger age now I feel :S ) I ended up not realising when the food reached the level of my nose. Now to wash it off, I had to recourse to a full glass of coke (which implies some more calories ).

The days that followed saw me gorging on fish curry(after 8 months I think), mutton curry and yes the ultimate prawns! I never got a chance to feel one basic human need - hunger. There was always some or the other dish, savouries and sweet meats available in easy access. One day my aunty assuming, that I would be sad and sulky and missing K too much decided to pep me up. To do so, she cooked dahi vadas, chole,aloo dum,pani puri and Gajar ka halwa and made her son home deliver the same. I ate till I needed assistance getting up from the chair. Trust me, I am not exaggerating. On the 26th of Feb, came the wedding anniversary of my parents, and what better way to celebrate than to Feast. Feast we did on Hyderabadi cuisine.... you get the drift? I would prefer not explaining what happens when people who love food meet Hyderabadi food.

Yes I was gluttonous, but I was not unabashed all the way. Come on K would return one day and I did not want him to see a killer whale having replaced his human though chubby wife. So I decided to step on the stepper. And just like I crossed all limits in eating, that day I did cross the limits trying to burn all the blubber that had accumulated over the course of 6 days. I exercised for some 30 odd minutes at a vigorous pace. The next day, I had such cramps in my calf muscles!! I could not stand straight when I woke..... my skin was blue, there were internal clots. I sprayed a decent amount of Volini and wrapped the darn legs in crepe bandages. It took 3 working days for me to be on my feet fully. In the midst though, I did not miss the pastries or the choco pie or the doughnuts sis brought home to make her injured sibling feel better. See God does nt want me to loose my corpulent self :|

Once I was able to perform my vertical operations perfectly, I resorted to mild exercises. But they were toooo mild to combat the loading rate of chaats, pani puris and veg rolls from the street. I absolutely gorged on street food with a vengeance. I was literally thinking "you @$!@$!% guys tantalised me when I was recovering from Typhoid, now its my turn to decimate you all. I am going to eat you all mwahahahaha". I would be failing in my duty, if I do not mention the tubs of ice cream and soft drinks I devoured. Summers coming in you see :|

I am not a foodie. I know it is difficult to believe this after what I have just written. But honestly, I am not too much into food. I do not give a lot of importance to food. I am very adaptive when it comes to food, have no complains as to the quality or quantity of the same. Food is not something which comes first to my mind. But I am a sinner - am a greedy, gluttonous person, who does not know when to say no when it comes to delicious food :(

Taggity tag by Shylu

2010-02-24T23:43:00.006+05:30

Shylu tagged me with a real special one. This is how it goes..

1.A writeup on a kind gesture that someone had done for you which left you speechless
Yes there is one person whom I am indebted to for the kind of support she has given to me. Let me call her S. She was my roomie in Kolkatta where I started my professional career with more lows than highs. Every single thing was wrong including the Vaastu of the place I stayed in. And the only good thing there was dear S. I dunno what made her trust me so much and help me so much over a period of just 5 days. Yes in 5 days time, she was helping me with my studies ( I was preparing for IAS exams then :( A long lost dream :( ) , tending to my eating and also helping me with my work. She was helping me not only in doing the same so that I could get home quick and resume studies but also advising me on steps to take. I am not sure, I have been mothered by no one else but my mom. I usually put up a very independent and stoic stand though I might be weak kneed. Yet I allowed her to take care of me and guide me. Undoubtedly when she took a transfer to Hyd I was devastated. But our relationship continued beyond that. She was there helping me inspite of the distances, travelling long hours to be with me when I attended couple of interviews. She was like a family member..... I truly will be never be able to repay you lh. Her kindness still has me speechless......

2.Indebted to someone lifelong..who??
Who else but my mom. I cannot thank her enough for being what she has been to me - as I keep saying, she is the air that I breathe. She has been my role model ever since I remember maybe. I always wanted to be someone like her. As I grew I did see lapses in her, and improved on them myself. But the best thing I always owe to her is her listening. She always listens to me and understands me. I believe many a times when I jabber on about work, about technical stuffs (trust me I do talk to her about resource crunch and estimation flaws) and about emotional upheavals - she listens. She listens to no matter what I am talking about. And because she listens, she understands and then she supports and advises me. I cannot say in enough words how much she has motivated me constantly. I truly am indebted to her for this one life and many more.

3.Want to say "sorry" to someone..who???
There are many - :) I am sometimes rough in my speech many a times. As I keep saying, I am frank to the extent of being rude. I am strongly opinionated. On top of that I have this quirk to assert my opinion. ( I try to get rid of this - opinion hai to apne paas rakho na. But no - I will voice it aloud!! ) So many a times I have blurted rude facts and am sure I must have hurt a lot of people.

4.Want to say "thank you" to someone ..who??
Thank you - hmmm - this is such a difficult question. There are so many people again I would like to say thank you to...I do keep saying thank you to people all the time. But if I make it like an Oscar receiving speech brace yourself. I would so like to thank Mrs Sharada Chadha who inculcated my love for English - the language way back in school. My uncle - we call him Rocks mama :) for inadvertently instilling in me the voracious reader that I am. Hes a role model, an elder brother I do not have but will never miss having either. Vinnie in college for being the splendid agony aunt she was to me during my NIT days - pity we are hardly in touch with each other now :( Preeti - to whose guidance I owe my first job to - she helped me retain my sanity during those crazy "campus" times where everyone and his brother was going nuts. My manager during my stint in Hyd - he taught me how to "lead" rather than "manage". A boss par excellence. And dear FB - a high grade techo who taught me how to "work" with "passion". I dont have a job which just gives me a living, I enjoy what I do. I owe a lot to what FB taught me - though he taught from a purest of the pure technical perspective, his humanity shone through. Kudos to you. Shylu - you must be repenting asking me this question hai na? This is what happens if you get me started :)

5.And whats your most cherished possession till date??
I will sound very very very materialistic when I say this - but my most cherished possession is my car. Yea - it was always a dream for me. To drive - gives me such a liberated feeling. No haggling with @!#!%$@%# auto drivers. It is not a luxury for me, it is something I always felt I need. We as a family of 3 can travel any where we want without depending on anyone else. If there are guests, there is no need to plan the logistics for going around. Things are so much in place. And being one thing I coaxed out entirely out of my own earnings, I have a very special attachment to it.

6.A special moment in life which brings along a smile every time you think of it.
This is a very tricky question. It should be a special moment, but then it should bring a smile everytime I think of it. I should say it was the span at Delhi with my close friends A and B. It was my first taste of independence, travelling alone, "working" and seeing friendship from a whole new angle. And also the first time we thought we were in love :) Brings a smile when I think how silly we were. We were mature enough not to fall for the school crushes and college interests, but there we drooling over intellect and grave personalities. I still remember how A and I used to sit in the park and get all serious and philosophical munching a packet of Lays :) I did mention in my last post, how we cried the day we were leaving the place :D The age of innocence, thats what it was.

Ab meri baari to tag a few folks : -

Renu
Jack
Nilu
Deeps
and Shylu (you should have done it first!)

Missing and I

2010-02-22T10:59:00.003+05:30

No I do not have a mutt named "missing" - this is more about the verb "missing". I think missing is one of my pastimes. I miss many things, people, hobbies, activities, places, soaps, old times - many many things. K used to say I collectively miss stuff. Yea maybe there is some truth in there.

The silliest thing I did in this respect was during my summer internship. That time we were 3 very good friends doing our internship in Delhi. We had one HELL of a time there. I will remember those 45 as one of the mosssssssssssst BEAUTIFUL times A, B and I spent. Sometime maybe I should put a post about our adventures in detail. And when we were finally to wrap up stuff and leave, A and B were travelling by a train at 1400 hours for which they had to leave home at 1200 and I was travelling by a train at 1800 hours for which I was to leave home at 1600 hours. I was to be "alone" for 4 hours. And I cant explain how muchhhhhhh I have cried. And not just me, A and B cried tons too - missing each other, missing the time spent there, missing our shopping sprees , missing our crushes ( 3 of us managed to have crushes ;) ) and God knows what all. And we were crying as if the world was breaking apart while in another 2 weeks time we had to get back to the same college and spend one more good year together :) Heights of silliness- you bet :)

When I used to stay in hostel during my graduation days, I used to start missing home 2 days before I left home back for the hostel. I would eat meals as if I was to be forced into starvation after some days. I would see the delicacies made by mom and morosely state - this is the last time I am having matar paneer. My sis would yell saying cmon you are not going to die, why make a big deal of everything? But then me being the typical me, would mull and sulk over every single thing. That would be the case every single time during my trips from home to hostel and went forward even when I got working.

During my working days when I used to stay in an apartment with other folks from the same field, I saw a lot of transitions. As is in vogue in software culture, I saw a lot of people moving in and moving out of the apartment. And boy o boy, if someone close to me was moving out, I would be too sad. I would imagine, how lonely I would be without the person, how I would miss my friend and I would go on and on thinking about all the good times.For that matter, when I moved out of Hyderabad (a place I louve and miss till date :D ) to be with K, I missed my roomies sooo much. I remember stepping into the house and K giving me the biggest bear hug in the world and I started wailing! He was aghast! Then mega pissed when I said I am missing my roomie :) I think I called her many times and only when she said she was shopping in Charminar that I felt relieved and better. We both have moved on a lot, and I still do miss her a lot :) :)

Even before making my trips to Bbsr to my parents place, I would start missing K and my colleagues and lunch mates!! some 3-4 days before :) Yes yes, silly again , but then thats typically me. So one can imagine with this streak what a ruckus I might have raised before K was slated to leave India. I used to miss him so much before he started. I would miss him and cry silently and then gradually increase the decibel level :) K being K would start at his comforting best but then would go on to being peeved and then the pitch would increase to pure lambasting. Even now there are pangs when I miss him a lot. But then its not as bad as I had imagined it to be. I have no idea when I can see him again, it can be something as close to 3 months and as far as a year. But one thing I am very certain of, this phase will teach me a lot- like all difficult times have. I will be conditioned to face many more ravages that life and time might throw.

When Logic fails

2010-02-12T10:09:00.003+05:30

I somehow had to put this down inspite of facing a major time crunch. I am full of so many thoughts, that I just had to get it out of my system.

Things are not very upbeat on the work front. There are still numerous questions at work for which there is no resolution in sight. I have brought upon me a certain amount of uncertainty by taking some decisions. Its more like I have tossed a route where everything seemed predictable if not challenging and have forced myself into a scenario where everything could change for the worse. But then you never know whats beyond the door until you cross the threshold. And that is what propels me to go on. In spite of all the quandaries, in spite of everything that is so secure now going to the dumps, I have taken a chance and now there is no turning back. Unsure of anything I have prayed incessantly. I read an interesting piece in TOI which said, when God does not answer your prayers, that IS His answer. Somehow it seemed to make a lot of sense, and maybe the meaning will fall into place, only when I see the bigger picture with the passage of time.

On top of that, the developments at K's work place have been such that, we might need to be away from each other for a longish period of time. I have put myself in doldrums with respect to the work front by calling upon some changes rather than going on the beaten track, so I would not be in a position to accompany him. Each time as I mentally prepare myself for our period of being away, I am intimidated by the times that are to come. I am sure I would need all the support from K and I also know that this is the time I should be most supportive of K. But, sometimes logic fails. And I see myself wallowing in self pity and depression. At times, I blame K for bringing this upon us, which then brings in another bout of anxiety, fights and another guilt trip. I know its no ones fault, they are just tough times which are meant to pass, but then wish this logical state of mind always remains. The thought of how times might be without him, make me feel too sad, while at other times I feel, its just the forethought that makes one imagine the worse case scenario. Once the phase starts, it will not be as bad as we imagine. But the thought of not having his messy clothes around, not scolding him for doing the chores that he forgets to do, attending family functions without him beside me and generally not feeling his aura in the same city, makes me feel listless. My friend S who is in the same state says, it passes, we only need to fight the bad mood days :) Hope its as easy as you make it seem to be. I am sure, K too has his doubts and emotions but he chooses to keep them to himself.....

My friend A unknowingly has been a source of a lot of strength. She and I think very alike, and somehow during my random rants with her, I get a lot of positive energy. I am sure once K leaves, I am doing to keep bugging her a lot. I know I will get something or the other to occupy me and of course there will be books. And I know of so many couples who have been apart for longer times. For that matter my parents, both being in government service at one time, had nearly 10 years away from each other. I do not know how they managed it, but I will have to buck up and take up the challenge.........

Chalo tag karte hain

2010-01-29T19:16:00.005+05:30

Renu tagged me, well I caught it late, and here is my work product :)

1. What is your current obsession?
Getting the stuff at work right

2. What are you wearing today?
Skirt and T shirt

3. What’s for dinner?
Poha - K wanted something light

4. What’s the last thing you bought?
Veggies for the weekend :)

5. What are you listening to right now?
Dil to bachcha hai jiii (Hmmm....)

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
Someone who has her ethics and morals strongly ingrained but still does not seem like an anachronism. She is grounded in the values of the past but has the outlook of the present generation. She says I am a lot like her :) which does make me very happy!

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
I would chooooooooose......... Hmmmm place does nt matter. Home is where the heart it. Give it to me anywhere I will re model it to make it "mine".

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
Patialas and Kurtas

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Would go to a the Ayush massage center in the next street. The neck, shoulder and back have been complaining and I yearn for a massage. Never managed the time for it :(

10. Which language do you want to learn?
Phew! Not Tamil :) Ignorance is bliss and I want to continue that state. (No offense please please pretty pleaseee)

11. What’s your favourite quote?
"Life is what happens when you are busy making plans " :D

12. Who do you want to meet right now?
Honestly speaking - no one. Prefer to be alone in this corner typing away like crazy.

13. What is your favourite colour?
Blue :)

14. Give us 3 styling tips that work for you.
Remember your body shape - clothes should highlight the good parts and shade off the not so good ones
Pay attention to the shoes
Dont go overboard with the makeup kit

15. What is your dream job?
IAS officer

16. What’s your favorite magazine?
Reader's Digest

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?
Hmmm.. $100 would not make a humongous change, even I would give it in charity

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?
The same color all over the place or lotsa prints on one single person. Hate to see people wearing a floral print kurta with a striped salwar etc - but trust me people do that. And yes atrocious color combis - dark blue shirt with brown trouser is so not cool and so is orange shirt with khaki green trousers. I could go on about the weirdest color combis I have seen :)

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?
Rekha :) in India.

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?
Haha on myself, I just have it tied in a pony thanks to the frizzy curly unruly nature of them. Worn the same style for close to a decade now :( Since I get to do nothing with my hair, I dont mind how they are on any one else either. :) Somehow hate very short hair on women. They give me a feeling of having been tonsured in some asylum a tere naam style and sent back to civilisation. (Again noooo offense please - ladies who mite be having their hair till their ears. I was just being "frank" :( )

21. What are you going to do after this?
Cooking and drying the clothes

22. What are your favourite movies?
There are a whole lot - Amar Akbar Anthony comes bang to my mind somehow!

23. What inspires you?
My moms words.

24. What do your friends call you most commonly?
Cherrie, Amu

25. Would you prefer coffee or tea?
What an absurd question - tea beats coffee handsssss down.

26. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?
Call mom, pray, talk to God, talk to K, get scolded by him as he continues his "advise express", cry and of course - go to sleep. Sleep is therapeutic for me!

27. What makes you go wild?
Wild in the bad way - into a fit of rage - room freshner which instinctively triggers a fit of sneezing.
Wild in the good way - the very thought of travelling somewhere, anywhere :)

28. Which other blogs do you love visiting?
All those in my blogroll :)

29. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?
Fruit salad

30. How many tabs are turned on in ur browser right now?
5

31. Favorite Season?
Winterrrrrrrrrrrr

32. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?
Matar paneer, poori and kheer. Okay? You want anything more heavy?

33. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?
Huh well.... I am very thick skinned at this one. I purposefully do not get hurt and more or less ignore or become nonchalant to such people. Trust me nothing irritates them more and they give up their efforts sooner or later.

34. What are you afraid of the most?
Lizards :(

35. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I got biggggggggggg darrrrrrrrrrk circles around my eyes :(

36. What brings a smile on your face instantly??
Thanks to K I would give the answer as "K's imitation of Eric Cartman from Southpark "

37. A word that you say a lot?
Just a word - Ahan

38. What would you do if you were made President of India for one day?
See the entire Rashtrapati Bhawan hehe - A Paa style :)

39. What is that one thing that keeps you going.
Mom always says "Ganapati is watching us, He is never unjust." I live by it.

40. Whats one thing that you used to love that you left
Watching movies. Somehow something has ruined the charm of cinema for me :(

Rules for those who are tagged:

Respond and rework – answer these questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own, and add one more question to the list. Then tag others :)

I tag
Ashma
Shylu
Satish and
Shalom

The one where the phoenix rises

2010-01-28T18:47:00.007+05:30

I have always held the legend of the phoenix as something very inspiring. Since the full meaning of it dawned upon me, during some poetry class in school I have always loved the word, the symbols and the allusions pertaining to a phoenix. That mythical creature somehow seemed to be looming large today.
While writing the last post, I was very jittery and depressed. An escalation email first thing in the morning completely bummed me out. I am someone who takes responsibilities very seriously. When someone questions that, I feel cornered.The other day I got on the back foot on seeing the way things were going. And yes there was one big pending thing from my side,which had been nagging me for long time.The period of illness pushed back my schedules majorly and somehow I never got the time nor the stamina to catch up fully till the nth moment. Somehow that one email that day, made me feel betrayed. In spite of the consistent effort, somehow I felt the email questioned my commitment. Rather than steeling myself, I broke down. I cried in anguish and tried to think of worse times in the past when I had been challenged and pushed against the wall. I was not able to summon any will, the fortitude and the calm to rebut.

At length did some sanity sweep in.To prevent any distraction and additional wastage of time, I decided to plain and simple work from home for the coming days. I was amazed how sometimes the best of me comes under trial. I had a short deadline, I was nervous, I was very unhappy, but somehow God showed me the way to get the thing going. At the cost of sounding very melodramatic I must admit, I was able to get rid of the pending chore and that too in time. A bit of delegation helped a lot. By evening the stance of the management seemed strangely positive. Things were gearing up from red to amber at least if not green.

Today at the end of day2, day2 of being this recluse in fire fighting mode, I see light. Yes things are still undone on many fronts, there are question marks on bigger areas, there are issues of a larger nature, but the clear and present danger seems to be taken care of.I love working from home. It gives me just the right balance.When I am too bogged down, simple house work, takes my mind off the problem and helps me clear the clutter, inside my head and from the house. To take a break I move around, actually live in the home so tastefully set together (Weekends hardly make one relish "home" as one gets too busy getting some rest, :| catching up with friends, pursuing some long left book or paying attention to pending household duties) On weekdays when I work from home, I actually stroll around and savor the house when I need a break (No TV, no novels, no snoozing off) . The movements of other residents of the apartment make me realise how many different types of lives are there apart from the standard IT life we face most commonly. Shrill cries of kids returning from school in the afternoon make me long for those frolicsome days. Old people sitting and generally chit chatting make me wonder how I might be when I am like them. And the icing on the cake, the tea I make for myself at 1645!

Hmmmm...well back to ground zero. Immediate concerns are getting ticked off while long term ones - well I prefer not thinking about them. They seem ominous enough but still they can change at any moment into anything - it is not possible to be preemptive enough. Till then as Abhishek says - hum ek jeevan ki prapti karte hain (Let me get a life)

PS. His sarcasm did make me sit up and take notice. And for all your (Jack, Satish, Deeps and DD) concerned comments - Thanks so much!

In the same vein

2010-01-25T09:24:00.004+05:30

I am feeling like I felt 2 years back. I thought reading that might make me feel better, but then I saw nothing was worth the while. So to give vent to my pent up feelings or maybe to get some clarity as to what the heck am I thinking, I chose to write this.

Things are seeming all haywire right now and blame it all on the work. Work has kept me more than busy since the last quarter of last year. Illness ruining my speed for nearly 3 weeks added fuel to the fire. I have been bringing work home, I have been running against time to get the stuffs done and even when I am not working its work on my mind. I simply hate the feeling. Even when I am with family, a part of me feels, I should go and get connected. But then the other half things "When duty calls shove it under the carpet (I have a penchant for remembering the wrong idioms :D ) Its very tiring I feel - always walking on the tightrope. The constant dilemma, the guilt (be with family or get to what gives you your daily bread.) I prefer the easy ways of life, when things are under control. Who wants to drive in top gear and feel jittery all the way?

Somehow this time also, I happened to read a piece in the Times of India, which stated how work defined the existence and identity of so many Indians. I completely concurred with the content. Work does not make us. There is more to us than what we do to earn. But then is there more to us than what we do for some good 10-12 hours everyday? It is so difficult to etch another self from the one which takes up so much time, energy and commitment!

For quite a while things at work - this thing that pre dominates our lives have been so uncertain. The worse part is, not only for me, but for K too. Both of us would have simply loved to continue what we were doing for as long as we can. But, there seems to be something different planned - and the plan is still nebulous for both of us. Not only us, there are people around us who are also in a state of flux. The team structures which both of us have become so attached (or rather used) to is on the brink of a mammoth change - and not all change is always for the good :S. With so many winds blowing, we are not even sure which terrain to align ourselves to. And if things ultimately remain just the same, I am sure the effort spent thinking and planning is so exhausting, it will seem like a gargantuan waste when its over and done with. I keep praying, asking Him for the way, for a hint. He somehow whispers, it will end up being good, but till then I think we have to summon some underground source of will within us.

Just waiting for the tides to settle down and praying for strength. A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor they say ( At last I remember a decent saying :) ) ...... Hope this ends soon and whatever lies beyond the calm, be the best for us both..... :S

Honestly speaking

2010-01-21T07:24:00.004+05:30

Nancy gave me the Honest Scrap award for the "openness that shines through my pages". I felt - Chalo kisine mera sahi hunar pehchana :D
Now the tough part is this award comes with a tag in which one has to mention 10 facts which others may or may not know. Hmmm... I thought 8 was difficult enough till I was made to do 20, then a quarter of a century, said a lot about myself through pictures after which I surprised myself by writing the mighty Century tag!
But still people if you are not satisfied (or rather bored) of knowing about yours truly here are some more hard hitting facts to digest :D

1.I am a bit conscious of the fact that some(I am sure of one aint sure if there are some ) of Ks friends and family read this blog.The sadder part is they are all silent which is a bit unfair since I never get the other party's opinion. Not that it makes me cringe and bite my nails thinking how to camouflage what I am thinking - cos these are Cherrie's blogs. What you get here is a dice of my mind :)

2.My left and right are very bad - I mean when any one says left I do right and vice versa. Tend to do the same to others too. Imagine going in an auto some place and there being only on left turn and I screaming right right!! Have left many Chennai auto fellows damn perplexed due to this habit of mine :)

3.K says when I drive I look just like my mom - and I love believing that. :)

4.I like it quiet in the mornings. Yes no discussions, no talking, no music nothing. Don't even like bhajans or stuff like that put up in the morning. Just like it quiet (Loved the way Jason Statham says that in a movie - no patience to remember the name of it, I think in The Transporter :( )

5.I psychologically need food once every 4 hours. Even if I ate a horse in the last meal, even if it was just tea with a bun. 4 hours done and I want grub again :)

6.I love the fact that I was a bio student in school. I understand many stuffs, I can hush the non bio kinds in a debate if not logically then with big words at least :D

7.My sister listens to me more than she does to my mom. She kind of looks up to me as an idol which is funny but true. :) And I have known this since a longggggg time :D

8.Maybe being a sickly person with a very low immunity makes me very attuned to the aches and pains of others. And I come first in empathising and taking care of a sick person. Sinusitis since I was some 7 years old made me realise how a good head feels and how a bad head feels. Since I savoured the massages mom gave me so much, I picked the knack and am good at giving massages! But I reserve this treat for the deserving few only.

9.I completely lack any sort of diplomacy. I am what I am - in your face. Many a times, being the typical me, I have vented my "free", "frank" and "open" ;) opinion giving two hoots to the repercussions. Have been embroiled in many domestic tiffs due to this also :( But DNA never changes I guess.

10. Yesterday was our 2nd wedding anniversary and it was beautiful. I know everyone gives the first one the most hype with others fading to anonymity till the silver knocks. But somehow the first one was lost somewhere between work and home chores. And the 2nd ended being so special. I was able to work from home while he took off. Went out for lunch with mil and then lazed around the house. Evening was some work for me and random tv for him. But being with each other itself was a pleasure beyond words. We turned two and it felt hmmm good :)

For me the award goes to:-
Piper
Abhishek
Renu and
Satish

Go on put the award and put up 10 things about yourself!

Ummmm holidaaayss

2010-01-18T17:19:00.005+05:30

I simply love holidays. I love the feeling I get the day prior to the holiday. I feel all holidayie :D This time Pongal was the one I was looking for. We were not supposed to do any celebrations since K's paternal had grandma passed away. So we ended up having the time as I love to have. Generally on celebrations day out here, we rise and shine real early and things get done quicker. By 10 in the morning the inmates of the house are jobless with all things done. What follows then is a date with the tv. It is a heavy contrast to the scene at my parents place where we all loll around in the bed late and spend all the time in the world chit chatting and wasting time and eating gorgeous amounts of food!

This time since there was nothing much to be done, we decided it would be 3D Avatar followed by lunch outside. The 3 of us made a real family outing for the first time. Prior to this all the trips we had made in the car had been for some task or the other. Picking someone from the airport/station, going to get something from the shop, dropping someone on the way somewhere - there was always a deadline and a business motive behind the usage of the vehicle. But this time around the purpose was purely pleasure :) With songs in full blast, off we headed to the mall cum multiplex. Since we had some time to spare, we lounged around the mall. And no one simply strolls around with so many wares on the shelves and credit cards in the pocket. So there we went all berserk with mil buying some devotional CDs (I also got a Ganesh Vandana CD on her reco and it was real good!), me laying my hands on some real nice books and perfumes and K too grabbing his share of deos. After the exhilarating retail experience it was off to Pandora.

We had a good lunch at Sangeeta and then went to K's maternal grandma's place to spend some time there. The evening rounded off early since there was the last day standing to be ticked off before the week ended. Friday the office bore a deserted look thanks to 2nd day of Pongal as well as the solar eclipse. I really like that look of my workplace somehow :) There is less noise, less people to disturb one and of course smoother traffic to and from work! Saturday was spent with family and evening attending the reception of one of K's college mates. Thankfully mil accompanied us since the friend of K's was once their neighbour too. Cos she was there, I had good company. Its really a pleasure to see old friends meet. They just loose count of place and time. It nice to see, K still managing to have his bunch with him while it makes me all the more nostalgic and yearn for mine. Touchwood, friends are really the family you choose.

Sunday again I could spend happily with a book since there was nothing much to be done. The one thing that kind of kept bothering me was my mom not doing well. She s been down with some acute gastric problem for quite some time. One saving grace is the presence of my sister - who is both able to take care of her and the home. I hope mommy recovers soon :S

Now that the weekend is over, a major festival of TN is over, there will be no sights of decorations welcoming one on the roads. There will be no more hearty laughters and idle chit chat as people gear to take on a festival head on. Heres to just miles of work ahead :(

An end and a day of beginnings

2010-01-05T19:49:00.005+05:30

All good things come to an end and so did the holiday season. It was something dreams are made up of. I was with my parents and sister and we never did anything out of the world. The only thing we actually did was spend time with each other doing the simple day to day things.

I got my mom one day to office, and that being the very day, the car broke down cos of the battery giving up. Thank God mom was with me, else I would have really freaked out. That day it really struck me how less is the penetration of English in Chennai. Somehow I have never been bothered by Tamil being the lingua franca in Chennai. But when things were really bad that day, we were just not able to communicate to folks in the company Tata motors and Exide what was wrong. It was really exasperating. In any state I have been in, the folks speak at least one other language apart from the primary language. But that is just not the way things work here. My apologies if I hurt the feelings of any Tamil speaking reader, but seriously that was one day I wished for petty politics, Hindi was not ostracised as it is in TamilNadu.

Hmm anyways enough of the drab stuff. The next day mom was home alone and poor thing, she spent the day watching 2 sad movies - Traffic Signal and Pinjar :) She heaved a sigh of relief once I was back. The following day I decided to work from home to be with her. While I was busy with work, there she was like my mom of olden times. In my childhood, my mom always made it a point to be near me when I was studying for important exams. She would eat with me, sleep near me, do whatever she had to do sitting near me. There were barely moments when she left me - being that strong solid pillar of support. That was the way I felt she was that day. Once work was done, we took a long stroll on the beach.

Dad and sister came to town on the 31st evening a ruckus broke in the house. We were our boisterous self, cracking jokes and I soaked in the pleasure of speaking in my mother tongue. Mil was on a week long pilgrimage, which made my dad feel even more comfortable and be at his louder best :D Shopping at T Nagar, going to temples, cooking a variety of dishes and road side shopping at Adyar and Besant Nagar, we did it all. But what I enjoyed the most was the long walks we took when we went shopping in and around Besant Nagar. We would venture out for sometime but when we got back, the clock would show 4 hours having passed! And we would realise we had walked and shopped the entire duration! I was so cocooned by my family, that I did not mind K partying the whole night of New Year Eve with his colleagues. I even did not mind him being down with a hangover of the New Year. I had 3 people making up for the love and attention he would shower ;) *evil*

But then came the morning of 3rd January when I had to see them off. It did not feel as painful as it would have been if it would have been just my parents. Since sis was along with them, I was more peaceful. My parents were well covered for. And so was my sister. I missed them immensely when I got home, but then, this is life.

The next day, was the first day of the new year at work! K had a new schedule to stick to which was much earlier than his prior timings. :( And I had picked up walking. The doc had advised me against gymming following the typhoid attack. So I took to walking, reminiscing the lovely walks I used to take with a dear friend when I was in Calcutta and the refreshing ones I used to take with roomie dear in Hyderabad. But now I just got the ipod for company and the vast expanse of the sea. I also started taking the car independently to work - a thrill! and the first time was a fright!! A dream has come true after 22 months! :D

Heres hoping things remain sunny. And hoping all my readers had a wonderful start to the new year. :)

Run up to the holiday season

2009-12-31T12:02:00.004+05:30

I somehow have not seen a lot of year ending posts this year. Last year, reading such posts only made me write my very own year ending post - with the ups and downs. This year, I have not been up to date in visiting my favorite blogs and many apologies for the same.

This year, the run up to the holiday season itself was fantastic with my sis reaching Chennai on 24th Dec and mommy following up on 25th Dec. It was supposed to be one week full of travel, with mom making a trip to Mysore and sis making a trip again on the 31st weekend. We somehow convinced our lazy dad to also come by the 31st weekend. All of us would be together on the morning of the New Year that way! But then, man proposes and God disposes. Sister got her posting to Bbsr sooner and she had to move down there on the 27th. Now she and dad will be coming down together this evening! Somehow the wish of all 4 of us being together got fulfilled by chubby God.

I will remember this year, for both professional and personal reasons.
Professionally I moved on, a lot. I was given challenges, I took up responsibilities apart from the mundane work and I essentially did stuff that I so enjoy doing. A bit less than 5 years back, when I was in the nadir of my professional life, I never thought, I would see days like this. Those were the times, when everyday I would pray to God to make it pass somehow. Every single thing about my life was so so wrong then. The main reason I was in agony was because of my work life. And inspite of whatever I did to get over it, the double I seemed to be pulled into the quagmire of despodency. But those 2.5 years of utter anguish did teach me a lot. Today, its a me, who simply loves going to work and tries to instill the same in the young and restless newbies. Maybe God showed me the darkest of the dark phase, so that I can empathise with any kind of person at work. Touchwood.

There were a lot of changes on the personal front especially in my parents house. I got to start the year with some quality time with them. Then my sister moved out to her professional life, which was a big milestone. To see her off, it was again the gang, parents, mil and K. We again had some real good time together. But the time that followed with her not being there with my parents was very tough. No one was able to reign in their emotions when it came to sis's absence from home. Life has somehow come full circle and shes back where shes truly missed. Then again my parents paid a visit for Dussera which turned out to be a week of fun and togetherness. I chanced to make a trip to Bbsr in Novemeber, where a weeks' trip turned into 3 thanks to typhoid :D. And now we 4 will end the year with a bang!

There was a particular professional gain I was looking for which went down to the dumps. I am not sure when it can be revived again. I also has some financial losses with both my cell phone and wallet getting stolen. But I will choose to ignore them and remember the trips I took up with K be it Mysore, Ooty, Hampi or Goa, the time I spent with family, the work I did and all the other good parts.

Here hoping everyone who stumbles by this post remembers 2009 as a good year but what use are the bad parts except giving heartaches. And heres hoping 2010 is 10 times better!! Have a utterly butterly happy NEW YEAR!!

A very special weekend

2009-12-24T12:08:00.004+05:30

I have been meaning to write this post since a veryyyyy long time. (As I have been meaning to read all the posts in my google reader :( But not been able to manage the time. I intend to read each and every unread post - not that it matters the world to the writers :D)

This year after a span of 9 years, I was with my parents on my birthday. Luckily that time was also the end of days for the typhoid attack. The day preceding my birthday, which was a friday, the doctor had recommended leaving the only liquid diet and switching to some light solid stuff. And some switch I made by having a chicken submarine. My mom, aghast at my loss of weight (moms have this weird tendency to magnify their kids weight loss and big time underplay the gargantuan weight gains) coaxed to have 2 subs! But I literally had to scream at her to make her stop from chocking me with food. We also bought some delightful chocolate cookies and brownies. After the pet puja the rest of the evening was spent doing some birthday shopping :)

The next day - the birthday - started early with calls from friends and relatives. And one hellova chocolate cake from dad! I feasted on the cake like I had been kept off food for years. As with all member of the fairer gender, shopping is not something which reaches its threshold soon. So there were lots and lots more stuff to be bought and off went mom and I for another round of shopping. We started at 1130 in the morning and by the time we got back home it was 1800 hours! Women get some divine stamina when it comes to shopping :D After the humongous shopping was done, it was time to get home, refresh and pack for the coming day when I had to leave for Chennai. After being there for 3 weeks, it did feel weird to pack. But some things got to be done.

The next day I started back. Back to my home. I would feel out of place for a long time in Chennai and every single thing would make me feel nostalgic. I would miss my parents at the slightest pretext. The solace was the fact, within two weeks my time, my mother would be coming over to meet her daughters.....

(The cake dad got... being his typical self, he forgot to write my name on the cake :D )

Now for the gory part evil

2009-12-08T11:00:00.005+05:30

While at my parent's place, I loved every bit of the time. The lack of routine, wake up when you want, food always being ready, tv remote always being with me :) One thing I was relished this time was my mom's hot champi. I let the oil soak in over night and had a luxurious head bath the following day. But after a couple of hours of that, I started feeling a bit uneasy. Since I had just recovered from a fever, I was doubly worried. Instantly in went a crocin and I felt better in some time. It was the fateful Wednesday when I had to attend the distant cousin's wedding. I had no appetite there. Once back, it was one more crocin for me and mummy's tight hug for a good night's sleep. Strangely next morning around 9 the fever was back. Thursday night when the fever came it came in with a heavy bout of shivering, I decided, there was no way I was making a return trip the coming Sunday. Friday we made a visit to the doc who to nail the usual suspects gave in some usual tests.

When the test results came back in the evening, he suspected some kind of kidney infection :O So he asked us to go in for some more cultures. In the meanwhile, he prescribed some real heavy duty anti biotics. Now the culture results take a good 72 hours to come up. It would be no sooner than Tuesday that we would be getting the report back. My mom was getting worried by the day. The fever used to come with real bad shivering and body aches. The temperature would start with a measly 100 and within 15 minutes peak to a 103-104. The symptoms were akin to malaria too. She got in touch with a uncle of mine, who is also a doc, and asked in case it might be malaria. This time, the malaria test had come negative. But that had been the case last time too, though it was a dosage of quinine only which had brought the fever down. My uncle said, quinine would not harm the anti biotics and he prescribed the dosage of quinine to be taken. So for 4 days I was taking something like 15 pills per day. Morning mom would wake me and give the antacid and the anti vomitting pills (Quinine causes vomitting) (2). I had to take 4 anti biotics per day (2+4=6) Then the 2 quinine pills (6+2=8) 2 more lacto bacillus pills to prevent acidity. (8+2 =10) And the usual B complex tabs (phew 11 ) Plus my body would be ravaged by the fever 4 times in a day mandating the consumption of crocin and bringing the pill count to 15. It was really frustrating to see absolutely no improvement over a span of 5 days. Even the quinine course had not yielded any results.

What saddened me most was the pain of my mom. She was always at my beck and call, massaging my sore back, rubbing the stomach aches, applying balm on the head. To worsen things, I got a cramp in my left shoulder due to the shivering. So there was my mom putting hot water packs too. I was very fussy about food, and even to make me have one morsel, she was out there in kitchen making anything, just about anything I might find palatable. She would be up all night responding to each sigh of mine though she had to be up early morning for the normal household chores. Once I caught her crying when she was praying and I could not stand it. It was just not fair to have her endure so much pain through her child. I just prayed and prayed that I get well soon, atleast for her sake.

Finally on Wednesday when the culture results came back, it was all sterile. Which meant the first results were wrong to start with. Evening we went up to the pathologist and decided to start on a fresh note - which implied a fresh set of tests. When finally the results came on Thursday, it was diagnosed as typhoid :| Luckily for me, the anti biotics that had been prescribed earlier would work good for typhoid as well. But I was to be under the medication for a week more and on restricted diet - no spicy or oily food, no roughage, mostly liquid or semi solid diet. I again extended my stay by a week more. Ironically, my condition improved the very next day. But the stomach aches were persistent which the doctor said would subside only once the intestinal wounds were healed.

I had a huge pending workload staring down at me. The insensitive brutes at office had the audacity to ask status reports from someone who was nearly bed ridden.... seriously the corporate culture does suck away the human aspect from people. But then I was at peace since I was at home. I could just walk into the balcony and smell the flowers to feel better. I would put my lazy feet up in the sunshine with a worn novel in hand and feel so happy. I would take a walk around the house and forget every care. Since my wedding vacation, this was the only time, I got 3 weeks at my parent's place. For that matter even during the wedding vacation, I was with my parents for 10 days only. Maybe God devises strange ways to keep people together. Whatever happens does happen for the very good.

Now that I am finally going to leave Bhubaneswar the coming Sunday, it kind of saddens me. Even my parents are also coming to terms with the fact that I am finally going back to Chennai. Its never enough with the parents :( Heres hoping for one more long trip back at Bhubaneswar..........

Maika*!

2009-12-03T18:46:00.007+05:30

*Parent's home for a married Indian woman

There is no place like maika for any Indian woman. It is better than candlelit dinner with the husband, gossiping with friends and even shopping for shoes! And thats the place I made a trip to on the 21st of November. It was an impromptu decision. There were lots of push and pulls. One push was my parents were getting immensely lonely with both the kids out of the nest. But one major pull was I had a go-live in December. I could not ask for leaves. One push were there were flights from Chennai to BBSR!! While the counter pull was K was not able to get leaves and I would again need to go alone. Finally I gave in to the pushes and booked the tickets :) I did not manage to get any leaves and had to keep working from home. The project was in a decent enough shape, so I was not so worried about it.

The flight which should take 2 hours uncannily made it in 1hour 40 mins :) So even before my parents had reached to pick me I was already there. Coincidentally I met a colleague of mine who was on his wedding vacation. He was supposed to have started the previous day but ticket problems stopped him and he ended up taking the last moment flight. Chit chatting with him in my mother tongue, feeling the tinge of chill in air as I stepped out and seeing the good ol' Konark Chakra motif at the entrance, I could not have felt more at home :)

To top my joy was the shiny new black dad's Swift Dzire! After getting home and dumping my stuff, I did what I do best - slept!

Next day was a trip to my granny's place. Meeting up with the whole bunch of cousins and aunts and uncles. I still get celebrity status there, being the eldest grandchild and the now being the only grandchild married and that too in a Tam family, I am till date questioned about my daily routine and stuff like that! None the less its fun. Food that followed was simply out of the world.

This time being at home was a bit different, with sissy not around. The house was a bit more silent. I also saw mom and dad having gotten involved into separate routines, one involving their own books, their own tv shows and their own household chores. How much change children bring to a house! Since it was a bit quiter, I was a bit more observant of things. I noticed K's first perfume bottle , a gift from UK still being there (though empty :) ), my best friend's long given gift - some 9 years old, posters and novels, as old as the hills - seriously only ones maika will have these treasures. There is a memory attached to every simple thing that one does. While sitting and talking to K on the balcony I was reminded of how we used to talk some 5 years ago. Things were so different then. While taking out the blankets for drying in the sun, I was reminded how sis would always insist on taking out the thicker blanket even if it was not that chill. While seeing some old clothes, I was reminded, I used to wear them for college some years back! Which in turn brings in a fresh flood of memories.

The most unexpected part was, I was to attend a wedding of a distant cousin. His father also happened to be my dad's colleague. So there were a lot of old colleagues of my dad invited. There, everyone was so amazed to see me! Many uncles had taught me in college! Some were neighbors when we stayed at Rourkela long time back. I had changed a lot since those days, and everyone was pleasantly surprised to see me. Even I felt top of the world meeting so many old faces...And attending a proper Odia reception is something! I was too used to the Tam style of the normal food being served in the traditional way. But here we had pani puri, chicken tikkas, fish fingers, and the entire array of veg, non veg and Chinese dishes! That too spread over a sprawling lawn with corny Hindi movie numbers like Bole choodiyan and Tujh main rab dikhta hai in the background. Hehe it was some fun.

I was enjoying to the hilt..... But then some things are too good to last :(

Danke!

2009-11-17T18:28:00.005+05:30

And why did I choose the particular word? Well call it the QT effect :D. I happened to watch Inglorious Basterds over the weekend. (The 14th November weekend. This blog took a lot of time to shape up :( ) It is a must watch movie - I would rate it as the best of the year! Yep after Kill Bill this is yet another fare which completely blew me over.

But I am not out here to thank Mr. Quentin for making a movie which is simply beyond words. The Thanks is for my dear sis and the K :) Yep, over the weekend I was down with fever. Viral fever to be precise. And some fever it was. It kicked in on Thursday evening. When the temperature used to come, it used send such chills that I could barely stand. My palms and feet would turn numb and the only thing I could do was lie down. What scared me most was I anticipated a repeat of this. Another bout of malaria was of course not something I wanted in another decade. So I was pro active and started popping the pills well in time. Moreover my sis was supposed to make a trip, and we had oh so many plans. I did not want even one of them to go awry. So there I was taking medicines, taking fluids, taking rest and praying fervently that I be well before she lands in Chennai.

But then when something can go wrong it does go wrong, does nt it? So the fever never came down, but God did send the pouring rains on Saturday morning. With rains being so adamant, the TV and the washing machine decided that they might as well go on a French leave. So there we were with blasting rains, a sick wife, no mom in law to lend a helping hand and 2 of the most important appliances kaput. After receiving sissy dear, K and she got on with the household chores like a house on fire :). There was K on one side,arranging the house, soaking the clothes and washing them off with his bare hands. Sis on the other hand was on with the kitchen chopping, cooking and the whole nine yards. Before 11 all the stuff was done and we were set for the movie. Thankfully the crocin worked before the movie and I was sentient for the entire 2 and half hours. But no sooner had we come than I started getting the shivers again. Sis made the most amazing maggie and then I popped another pill and hit the bed at 1700. I woke only at 1930 to find my kiddo sis blissfully curled round me in sweet somber :)

I was feeling much better and chose to watch "Everybody loves Raymond" with K before retiring at around 2100. And the best part was my sis slept through the night. Poor thing, she has so much work and studying at her work place, that she had barely managed 4 hours of sleep per day for a week. So she slept straight 15 hours when she got the chance! Thank God she slept that much cos the next day the responsibility of all the cooking waited for her since I was feeling no better. She had turned into a very nice cook in fact. After eating the lovely lunch she made, we all slept like logs.

Before we realised it was evening and it was time to bid goodbye to her. Last time when she had come, it was barely for a day. Still we had so much fun. But this time all she did was take care of my house and massage my head, run errands for me and do a zillion and one things. She reminded me of the the joy of having family when one is ill. Nothing can match my moms tender loving care. My sis though came a close second. And K who in his normal form is not so demonstrative of his love, was so considerate. He even went to the length of taking leave the following Monday to take care of me (on second thoughts it was more to watch Primal Fear and True Romance :X) I made it through from the fever so much quicker just for the 2 of them. Thank you both so much!

Chayya bina jiya jaaye naa :(

2009-11-04T12:07:00.004+05:30

Thats what people in Chennai call a cup of tea - chayya. Its one of the beverages I love and can have any quantity at any time. My love affair with tea began since I was very young under the tutelage of my father. Yes you read it correct - my father. My mom makes a tea which is close to in-consumable for me. Its bitter. She makes a real hard drink of the poor tea leaves :( While my dad savors the tasty version - you know the one with lots of milk, just right sugar, some cardamom and ginger for sure. That is what he asked me to make one day, since mom was not around. I happened to taste my own creation just for the heck of it (My mom rues the fact that she is such a hard core addict of tea. Its the petrol she needs at least thrice a day; earlier it used to be five times! She always wanted to keep her children out of this dreaded addiction). But that day, when I tasted that divinely aromatic drink - I fell in love with it. Till date, its one thing I never ever say no to. Though kudos to my mom, she so fervently wished that we should nt be tea addicts, that till date neither my sister nor I am addicted to tea.

Now, why on earth am I blabbering all this? Well, it is cos, this very thing I love- has been made a paid thingy in my office!!!!! Imagine no more free tea. We got to buy it! I would not mind spending 4 odd rupees and getting a good cuppa. But the tea that is being dished out is so lame, it barely fills a paper cup and the tea bags seem to have lost all aroma. I do reiterate that I am no addict to tea. In spite of it, tea drinking is like a ritual. An excuse to move from the desk, some time to relax and give those sore neck and legs some motion, and on cold rainy days like Chennai is having right now, it feels divine to sip that warm cup. But sadly, that cup is now where :(

When the email was first sent out that there would be no more free tea from SRK's birthday onward, the mango people thought "Oh! come on this won t be possible to implement. Anyways everyone will go to have tea outside office which will result in man hours wasted which would in turn force the non mango people to roll back the idea." There was a seething of a revolt, the jitne bhi tu kar le sitam hans hans ke sahenge hum types attitude. I felt as if I was part of a an andolan, an important satyagraha. There were some emails floated to garner support and the public forums were replete with messages with some employees becoming demi Gods with their innovative ideas. But then, nothing moved the bade logs.

Finally the day came, one cold rainy chill morning here. The day sans tea. Ideas were afloat again. Black tea, hot water, getting tea from homes in thermos flasks, going to the houses of folks staying near office and having tea (ready to pay them also if they were insistent) and many many more. But then black tea is not equal to tea. Hot water is OF Course not equal to tea. Getting tea from homes - thoda zyaada ho gaya. Going to folks staying near office - not that besharam :( So Day1 we decided to go out and have tea and check the turn around time. Day1 it was 35 minutes. Day 2 new shop - it was 55 minutes. Day 3 - It rained so hard, we had to buy the tea at office. But then how long can this continue? Slowly I see some satyagrahis succumbing and yes, in the long run I wonder how I can hold on. So though sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab humare dil main hai not much zor will power main hai :'(

PS. Did not have the patience to translate the Hindi text - apologies if it is majorly incomprehensible to many.

This and that

2009-11-01T20:37:00.003+05:30

Has been quite some time since I updated my blog. There was nothing of importance which made me think or pen down my thoughts. But there sure were some or other stuff happening. All the time I used to think, I have to write this in my blog, I have to write that in my blog. And so here are the thiss' and thats' :)

We got a car. Yea finally. Its an Indica vista gala red hottie :) It was the end of a long drawn search. I don't think there was any brand we left in the small car segment. There was a lot of perusal of online reviews, motoring sites and consultation with people with experience. Ultimately we settled down for this make which promises to "change everything" - cos this is the one which fitted K's obnoxiously long legs. It had everything we wanted - more or less a 5 seater, with steering height adjustment, enough space so that even after K has pushed the driver's seat, there is enough space for people in the rear, good stable structure and decent mileage. Yea we were advised against the buy with the most heard suggestion being - its more of a taxi car. But then our counter was - if something is so popular for commercial use, it should be a more than safe bet for personal use. And yea - I did look longingly at the tubby Maruti Swift (it did not give much driver space for K), K did wish i10 was a bit bigger (it more or less a 4 seater car) and we both gave a Chevy Spark a miss for the same reason (it being a 4 seater). But now this thing is for the keeps, while we both are on fine tuning our driving in traffic.
My sister made a trip to Chennai and boy was it great. She was here for a day, but the girls day out with her was simply amazing. One full day was spent in shopping and loitering around. When we both get together we don't just shop, we splurge. That's what we did this time around too. We scouted the entire Spencer Plaza and enhanced our wardrobe as well as shoe rack :) Ah! The joys of spending :D
A friend of mine made a monumental move in her life, a move to move on to family mode. She did it after a lot of struggle and strife. But end of day her determination prevailed and she moved on. She and I share the same sun sign, so inherently we have somehow understood each other. And I completely understood the step she took, for the one she loved and I wish the best of all for her new life ahead. But with her being gone, one of my tightest bonds with one of the cities I love the most, has been severed :(
Just 2 more months to go for the year to end, I am kind of in a reminiscent as well as planning mode. Hope everything I know and wish as well as everything unknown but destined happens for the good.

The thing about Diwali

2009-10-18T17:59:00.006+05:30

There is something about Diwali (and Dussera too). It does something to the atmosphere around. The changes are so palpable. The weather takes a turn towards chillness. People are nostalgic about home, people take vacations no matter what ( my sisters colleagues have no leaves since they are in training period and they don't earn very high bucks either. But just for one day to be with family on Diwali, they have taken flights spending nearly half their monthly salaries and gone home! )It makes you want to be with your loved ones. It makes people scoot from office early. It makes you feel like cooking something special in spite of having slogged at office for good 9 hours. Everyone wishing the other person a happy Diwali just spreads the cheer magically. I am not sure if thats the case with everyone, but I feel so festively happy! As they say we should search for excuses to be happy - I do so oh so often.

Last year Diwali was my first one after marriage. The first Diwali after wedding is a very highlighted affair in TamilNadu. But I must confess, it started off on a very bad note for the lack of education. I had no idea, how differently it is celebrated in TamilNadu compared to back at my paternal place in Orissa. At my parents place, the whole day is spent in decorating the house and keeping things ready for the big bang in the evening. We spend the day fishing for diyas, counting the number of them still preserved from the past years, asking dad to scurry and get some more, deciding on which design to put the diyas and the rangoli in, helping mom in cooking the yummiliciuos breakfast, lunch and dinner. I always remember the night before Diwali we all deciding on the elaborate menus. We sisters were never of much help, but we used to keep talking around the kitchen and generally giving my mom company while she sweated over the dishes. Food and talks in the morning and evening would be spent on the veranda and terrace placing the diyas and then it would be cracker time! See...... this is what Diwali does.... makes you feel so nostalgic.

But last year, since I was not aware, how Diwali starts in TamilNadu before the break of dawn, there was a bit of upset emotions at home. And morning does show the day, so there was nothing to write home about for the entire day. There were forced smiles and uneasy reconciliations. But then, people learn. Last year I was a newbie, still adjusting to the symphony played here( I had read this analogy in some other blog and borrowed it :) ) This year, I was ready with my own composition apart from being ready to do my part for the original orchestra. I took my own time and space and got ready in the morning. We were invited for lunch to K's aunt's house. On the way back, I bought diyas (its not a tradition out here to light diyas on Diwali - they do so on another day called Karthik Deepam I guess ) . But then, a little extra celebration does not hurt at all. So all armed with the diyas and rangoli colors, I set forth in the evening to celebrate Diwali as I know it. Made some patterns on the balcony and the front door and places those lovely diyas. It is really heartening to see the diyas fight out the winds and stay aflame - it fills me with a very positive vibe. The words tamasoma jyotir gamaya (from darkness let us move to light) subconsciously keeps reverberating in my mind. The icing on the cake came when one neighbor aunty came and said "Perfect blend of north and south, only this apartment is lighted with all these small diyas and looks very cute from a distance." I had an ear to ear grin :D

Decorations done, I caught up with friends and family. What if we are not together, we should use technology to the max. For that matter since early morning K and I were making lots of calls. Evening I spoke with some very close friends and my mom and sister for hours on end. Dinner was parathas with curd and I made some extra coconut laddus to carry to office. (Diwali makes you put in that extra effort right?)An early end to the spirited day gave me the most rested feeling. Next year, I plan a bigger better evening. More sweets, more intricate designs, more savories, more time with my family.

It was a good Diwali, touchwood. And people I cared for had a good Diwali. I was concerned for a friend of mine who was all alone. But then, when I called and checked up with her, she had surprise company. My sister who was away from home for the first time, was also doing fine. The world does hold a mirror to ones own thoughts.

I hope all my readers had a wonderful Diwali. And here s wishing you all lots of good times ahead.

Different experience same nostalgia

2009-10-07T16:45:00.003+05:30

Last year I had written this* about how difficult it was to get back to normal pace of life after the Dussera vacations last year.

I would be holding a hazy mirror to the same scenario with this post of mine.
This time my parents made a trip to Chennai - not so much for me but for my darling sis who was coping with work and who has no vacations for 8 long months. The day they reached, ironically again, I had a major career move's decision date. I was anticipating the worst, the thing to go haywire, the whole plan to fall like a pack of cards and all my preparations to go in utter waste, and that - is exactly what happened. (Again just like last year when I had planned something important one day before the date of travel)This time, I was the least bit disappointed. I was rather thrilled, as I hopped into the auto rickshaw from office to scurry home at 1130. I could barely control my eagerness. When I reached home my mom squealed in delight. When mil asked about the result and I said "failed" with the biggest smile on earth, she was so puzzled :) But then who gave a darn to darn work when family was around.

K also had taken leave on the day just to be with everyone. It was a very pleasant day with all of us sitting and chatting and having loads and loads of coffee. Papa loves the Chennai brand filter coffee and will never say no when offered one. When he has a cup it takes a lot of will power to resist having a cup for others. So all of us ended up having nearly 4 cups of coffee each day and those too at very weird moments. One time we had at 1430 in the afternoon! Evening was full of sporadic visits to neighbors and then a trip to the temple. Mom and dad started off the night to Mysore to be with kiddo sis.

I could barely wait for the 4 days to get over when they would be back from Mysore. Since mom had a conference at Cochin the very next week they had planned to be at Chennai. Dad was to proceed to BBSR from here and mom to Cochin. Those 4 days when they were at Mysore passed at snail's pace for me. My sister felt they went away too soon - hmm relativity of time always works. Finally on one fine Wednesday morning they were back :) Mil was supposed to start on that day on a 15 day pilgrimage. So it more like my parents and us. It felt as if I was at my paternal home at BBSR rather than being in Chennai. My mom took complete control of the cooking just like she does back at her home. She did not allow me to step in (though I did to show off my culinary prowess to my dad :) ) It was really endearing to be taken care of by my mommy. My dad built up his own routine out here. They were to stay for 5 days with us - so he took to walking on the beach, he would fetch the vegetables and any immediate groceries, he would run itsy bitsy errands. In fact in a kid like fashion he used to ask if anything was over in the house so that he could make a quick trip to the nearby shops. Mom and I used to think, the shopkeepers were going to miss Papa once he left for BBSR.

To be with my parents as much as I can, I stopped going to they gym and being there for an hour. And to add fuel to the fire, my mom got preparing authentic Oriya delicacies. I did not intend to curtail myself at all to the awesome treat. I gave two hoots to weight, to my struggling dietitian (shes completely puzzled at the resilience of the fat content of my body) and to my gym instructor ( she still dreads the day she took me under her wing - I am a black mark on her appraisal document :( )I let my tongue have a ball and made my stomach work the hardest digesting all the food :) Ah! It does feel very very good to break all the rules :D :D

All the days I felt enveloped in a warmth which only and only parents can give. One day we 3 went out for shopping and it seriously felt like old times at BBSR. My parents paying up for everything, mom and I insistent of having road side food, dad barring us from having them, us still having them inspite of his objections, buying junk jewelery, marauding sarees at the famous stores around T.Nagar - we filled an entire evening with togetherness. My mom and I many a times used to venture out just like that for a long walk and street side shopping (Dad was too busy with cricket matches to care for a walk). All the while I did have a heckling thought though - I was going to be miserable when they leave. But till they were here, I postponed feeling sad.

And when they did leave, it felt no different. Felt no different from the way I had felt when I had left BBSR last year after the puja vacations. This time the tables were just a bit turned - it was my turn to come back to an empty house after seeing off my parent. My turn to see no more luggages on the room. My turn to see no extra clothes on the clothes wire. My turn to be alone in the kitchen, to be alone reading the paper and also having the coffee. Everything seemed purposeless and so insubstantial. I miss you both......

*( Ironically in the post, I had used the word 'home' for my parent's place in Bhubaneswar and used the word 'house' for our place in Chennai. I am not a person to make such mistakes, but then sometimes the sub conscious is more powerful I suppose. Last year, since I was a novice at married life, I was yet to cut the umbilical I guess)

Enough adventure for a day - Hampi Day1 Episode 2

2009-09-29T11:19:00.006+05:30

We started screaming and scooting towards the parked ferry. The ferry driver acknowledged our pleas and did say something in return. But still we were not sure if what he said was "Ok I am waiting for you guys. Thank God K is blessed with long legs :) He was able to cover a lot of ground quickly and make it to the ferry first. He was followed by Sam. Wearing a pair of slippers which were breathing their last, I was the last one to be scurrying towards the shores. A little before the ferry was parked, was 3 metres of sludge and mud. K was totally in touch with the elements and gleefully waded through it. In fact seeing him from a distance, I never gauged, the mud was so slippery and well .. so muddy :) I was also fine, just concerned about my track pants which were getting dirty ( We had shoe string supply of clothes :) ) But the funniest sight was poor Sam whose precious Lee Coopers were getting a savage treatment.

Somehow we reached the ferry (the ordeal of those 3 metres seemed NEVER ending to me honestly) Once there, I blissfully remarked "Phew! Enough adventure for a day I think"

Once we reached the banks of the river, we got an auto and asked him to take us to any of the guest houses there. We had heard of Rahul guest house being a decent one and decided to check that out first. It ended up being fully occupied. We checked out a couple more and the good ones were taken (always happens be it guest houses or men :D ). Guest houses in Hampi have a strange way of working. Mostly they are houses with some of the rooms being converted to guest rooms. Most of the common space might even be shared with the original inmates of the house. All of these guest houses are located within a close circumference of the river banks. Since the guest houses were not so palatable for us, we asked the auto rickshaw driver to take us to some hotel. He said the hotel there was a government recognised hotel. We travelled nearly 8 kms to reach hote Mayura Bhubaneswari which looked more like a ruin in itself. The front desk person was a typical goverment memsaab. When asked if there were any rooms free, she first vehemently denied. When we urged her if there is ANYthing at all, any sort of room, she showed us a 4 seater. I felt pretty suffocated in there. There was absolutely no ventilation and since there was no electricity as well, it seemed more like a dungeon. We went up to the lady and said, the room was not good enough. Then she said, the presidential suite was there - 5600 bucks!! K was so worn out with the whole affair of searching for a hotel room, that he was game for taking it up. Seeing his enthusiasm, Sam and I were also inching towards taking it up. Then we asked, if we could be shown that room. And that room was a wow!! It was toooo plush. It was very very tempting. But 2 things hit us back - it was exhorbitantly priced - the acco charge was not even what we had spent entirely on the trip till now - and, there would be power cuts in that room also. Come on if we were paying that kind of money, the least we could expect was electricity. So we left the whole idea and went up to the auto driver and asked him to take us to some other hotel.

And wonder of wonders, he said that was the only hotel!! Sam was getting ballistic by this time and was very edgy. She insisted to the auto driver to take us to a nice guest house, which would be having electricity supply. The auto driver promised he would take us to a good place. Driving the entire 8 kms back, we came to the same guest house zone. There the auto driver took us through the most dingy by lanes and brought us to a guest house. The owner here seemed very very snobbish. We had a hell of a lot of heckling to do to get a room with one extra mattress. It was already 1900 by then. He was insistent that we check out at 0900 the next morning. ( This is a standard norm in Hampi. All the hotels and guest houses insist on checking out at 9 in the morning) Paying 1k for a stay of hardly a night was not something we were not willing to buy. But beggars cannot be choosers so reluctantly we agreed. As we were settling in the room, suddenly he came up with the form. The form kinda had a declaration of what all we were possessing and that we would take responsibility of whatever was with us. Till then it was fine, the next thing the hotel owner stated that we had to get the declaration signed at the nearest police station. Now that made us loose it. We were simply not ready to go to the police station of all the places. We started yelling at the hotel owner( God only knows what all we yelled in which language :) ) Then we stomped out of the place and threateningly requested the auto rickshaw driver to take us to a 'decent' place. I don't know why we were venting it all on him, poor thing, he did not have the divine responsibility to take care of us. But then the poor man brought us out from the dingy lanes where he had initially placed us. Once out in broader roads, we happened to see yet another guest house. We decided might as well check this out.

The owner of this guest house happened to be a very courteous man. He was also insistent on the check out at 0900hours timing and getting the declaration stuff signed at the police station, but he said that with a smile, with humility and with hospitality which was endearing. We agreed to his conditions (strangely I think he completely missed getting the declaration signed from us.) and ended up paying for 2 days stay. But we were happy with the place. It was a strange place to be honest. Pity I do not have any pictures of the place. It was located some 50 meters from the river banks and had a pleasant wind wafting through it. The room we took was the very first room of the guest house, it was just 4 steps away from the street. As an afterthought Sam and I felt, how accessible it was to an outsider if the good for nothing grill gates were not closed. But since it was so close to the street the room had the lion's share of the wind. The room was very cornily painted in a strawberry pink color and had some clumsy stuffed toys and a broken clay parrot for decoration :D There were shops selling funky wares around it and there were quite a few coffee joints and eateries around.

Once we had our luggage nicely parked, we went went ahead in search of dinner. We placed ourselves at the dinner lounge at 1930hours and trust me we came out at 2230hours. Yep, thats true, 3 solid hours. Thats the pace at which things proceed in Hampi. The problem what I felt was the cuisine is too exotic for any preparations to be made ahead of time. One may have absolutely no idea what the customer might order when the menu hosts things from pasta to pancakes to parathas to puddings to pizza and plethora of things. It ranges from continental to oriental to mexican and american. All of the items are available at all the times and the restaurants are grossly understaffed at times. Hence things are bound to take a verrrry slow pace. But while we had 3 hours, we chatted a lot. It was nice to see Sam and K bonding. They are both a number 7 (born on the 7th day of a month) and somehow I had felt, their innate similarity had repelled them from each other initially. Never had they been able to establish a rapport with each other. During this trip somehow, the time they had, gave them a chance to see beyond the initial judgmental attitude to delve into how alike they were from a point. Neither of them is a person who can make another comfortable in their company easily. So with time, they grew comfortable with each other. I was a mere listener to their conversations and thoroughly enjoyed their increasing friendship.

As soon as we reached our rooms, we retired, since we had opted for an early morning tour in the same auto rickshaw driver who had droven us around.

Did someone say adventure? Hampi Day1 Episode1

2009-09-24T14:10:00.011+05:30

I was totally unprepared for Hampi and boy how unprepared was I!

Alighting at the Hospet station, we had to take an auto rickshaw to get to the Tungabhadra river banks. Our idea was to cross the river and get an accommodation on the "other side" of the river. Sam had visited the place before and she was more or less the tour operator. As we were going, I was able to catch a glimpse of some of the ruins. Being a history buff myself, I was getting too excited to get up close and personal with the archeological sites.When we inquired the auto rickshaw driver as to the ferry timings for taking to the "other side "of the river, he said, they exist from 6 am to 6pm. Now when Sam had come before the ferry ran till 2000 hours. Having the services cut 2 hours prior would not be a bit tight in case we wanted to roam around a bit more. When we reached the river banks, Sam said, we would relax for the day come to this side to see the ruins the next day. I said, we could give the day to visit the sites on the "other side". Then she said, there was nothing much on the "other side", it just gives the laid back feel thanks to the cottages and huts. Whatever I had read about Hampi, never gave me the picture that there was nothing of importance on the other side of the river. Somehow all websites and blogs and travel portals I visited gave me a feel that the ruins were equally dispersed on both sides of the river. I felt a bit crestfallen, because I am a touring tourist :) Rest is not my idea when I come to a place like Hampi for sure. But when I learnt that on the "other side "of the river, rest was what was primarily done, I felt disappointed. But then I was a bit curious as to what lay on the "other side", so did not want to spoil the plan to cross the river either.

The ferry that came up was a motor boat to be precise and a pretty decrepit one at that. Once we reached the "other side", we were hounded by people advertising their cottages/hotels. We checked a few and then got into Hema cottages. They are small huts, cottages is a pretty fancy name I think for the amenities they have. You get the bare minimum, cots, fan and a bathroom and if you regard network for your cell phone and electricity as bare minimum - you do NOT get them. Yep, its a veritable village and many things we city breds take so much for granted are unknown there. There is a daily power cut from 8 in the morn till noon and again from 5 in the evening till 8. In between it has its whims and fancies and comes and goes at will. I was a bit taken aback by this wanton electricity supply. None the less we somehow refreshed and went ahead for breakfast to a nearby hotel.

The "other side" as this side of the river is called is a proper hippies getaway. Here lot of foreigner especially Israelis abound. And there is a slow pace with which things go on. The food here is divine and we did gorge on some awesome continental and Israeli cuisine. But all the while I was yearning for the history that I was missing :( So I said it might be a better idea if rather than staying till the next day in the guest house, if we checked out in the evening and crossed the river. That way we would be able to start early on the coming day and complete the share of sight seeing. Sam was more inclined to taking the lazy way out and being on this side of the river, generally relaxing, eating good food and spending the time doing nothing. K played the perfect devil's advocate and said, If we were going to check out of the guest house, rather than waiting very long, it would be better if we did so sooner, like 4-5 in the afternoon so that we would have time in hand to search for hotels. Else if we decided to stay on this side itself, it would be better to check out around 12 the next day so that we would do some sight seeing at least. He was like coming that far and not doing any sight seeing at all might not make much sense. After a lot of debating we decided, we would finish breakfast, go for a cycle ride and check the ruins that lay on this side, come back, refresh, finish a late lunch and cross the river.

Breakfast done, we started on the cycle trek. We had an awesome time! There was a gentle breeze flowing and we had the sun screaming down on us. We were sweating like proper rustic folks and we were getting one hellova tan too. The hand beyond the shirt sleeves were nearly turning black! But it was some feeling. At points when the road was a downward slope and we did not need to paddle, wow! When we were all drenched in sweat and suddenly there would be a waft of cool wind, bliss! On the way a bunch of school kids hi-fived us, suweeeet! We intermittently stopped under shaded parts to rejuvinate and gulp some water. K at one point got rid of his tshirt and used it as a turban - a la pukka rural tam ishytle, and Sam and I were sure jealous of him. But we urged him not to strip further cos he was not a proud possessor of the body like those Israeli hunks ;) He teased back saying, we were not any close to the damsels either else we too would have started shedding. The banter thus went on and we had no idea how far we had cycled. We had reached a village called Anegondi - which K insisted on calling Anaconda :D

At that point we decided to just turn back and head home. It was a 50 mins solid ride home. On the way, we just stopped at a point where the river was a bit shallow and went down. It was divine to soak our tired feet into the cold water.

This time we gave a ride to another group of school kiddos who were walking back home. In a nearby stall we all shared some soft drinks with the kids.

Once we returned to the guest house, we realised how very tired we were and how very tanned we were :) It was already 1500hours. By the time 3 of us freshened up and headed for the place for lunch it was 45 minutes past. Now as I had said, the "other side" of Hampi is for lazing around. We made it very clear to the waiter, that we had only an hour to spare since we did nt want to be late for the ferry. We ordered stuff which would get ready sooner. But inspite of our urging him to move things faster, inspite of our coaxing and threatening to cancel the order, by the time we got done it was 1730. Everyone else was sipping their beers, smoking their cigarettes, lolling on the mattresses as if they had alllll the time in the world. And we three were gulping our food as if we were having a heart attacwith K giving the time by the second. At a point I said "Stop it! The wall clock is right in front of me and I see the darn thing ticking and moreover I wear a wrist watch too which you dont and I am inclined to seeing that and getting more NERVOUS!"

We scrammed out of the place and ran towards the river bank. It was 1750 then. We saw the ferry being parked a bit further, not in the designated place. Dont know what sadistic pleasure the ferry drivers get by making their customer wade through ankle deep mud when they can very well park in drier places. One good old man showed us a narrow pathway to get to the ferry. It was very narrow, a bit unsafe and slippery(because of people having walked on it with wet feet) and steep downward incline. With Sam and I having 2 heavy backpacks and K a travel bag, we started climbing down.

We had climbed some paces only when we heard the engine of the ferry rev up. We got franctic. Sam and I started shouting Bhaiyya! Bhaiyya! and started flailing our arms to make the boatman stop....

The kickoff - Project Hampi

2009-09-23T22:24:00.005+05:30

I am alive and kicking :) And Renu, it was immensely sweet of you to come up to my blog and ask how come I had gone invisible. Thank you so very much :) That was a very warm gesture.

Now that I am back, I am going to mow down my readers with some very very long posts (*evil laugh*). Yep, and this is going to be a part by part post - the current one being part1 :)

September is a real sweet month this year. It comes with 2 extended weekends back to back. First a holiday on 21st for Eid, the next on 28th for Dussera and then October joins forces to give 2nd October as a holiday. K and I were looking forward to a vacation during one of these extended weekends. But for some reason or the other, the plans always used to go kaput. Then one afternoon during a casual call my friend Sam said she was going to Hampi on a 3 day trip. She was generally cribbing about one of her friends having ditched her, which would compel her to travel alone from Bangalore to Hospet - and Hospet not being a very bright place, she was a bit jittery about making the trip alone. At Hospet she would have been joined by another friend of hers from Hyderabad.

When I heard the plan itself, something kicked in me to ask K to join in as well. We had been making and breaking vacation plans, cancelling and redoing train tickets and were in a whole lot of mess when it was coming to travelling. I was having my reservations when I went ahead and asked K if we could plan on a trip to Hampi. But I was amazed to get a whole hearted thumbs up from him! Now first hurdle crossed, we had to check tickets! Cos the due date was just 2 weeks away and that being a holiday time, people would be flocking like crazy to the place. And we had a big set of tickets to be made yet again - Chennai->Bangalore, Bangalore->Hospet(closest station to Hampi), Hospet->Bangalore, Bangalore->Chennai. Now if God unwilling any thing went awry, it would need 8 tickets to be cancelled. Still, we thought, lets give it a shot.

As I had said in one of my previous posts, 2 weeks is a long enough time for many things to change. And in this case too they did. The other friend of Sam's who was supposed to come had to cancel her tickets since she had some emergency and Sam decided to return with us rather than staying an extra day as was her initial intention. For her it would have been a trip that would nt have happened if K and I had nt booked our tickets. Its strange the way providence ties people up :)

Strangely the day before the trip both Sam and I were pretty restless. Sam has been my oldest friend- one since school. She and I connect very easily. And we both having the same feeling on a day prior to the travel was pretty uncanny. We tried to reason as to why we were feeling that way. Maybe it was because, it was a very impromptu trip for which neither of us was 100% prepared, or maybe it was because we were a bit bothered by the fact that we would be away from work for 4 days, or it was because she had a different perception of how the trip was going to be and with K and I coming into the picture, it might be a paradigm change or maybe it was because I who always loves to plan out every bit of a vacation was not able to gather much info before the travel was feeling a bit less prepared. We were not sure if it was a bit of all these feelings or any thing else which we were not able to figure out at all. None the less, we tried to keep the pace of normal work and some how tide over that one day before 4 days of vacation began.

The journey to Bangalore was good but once I hit the bed at Sam's place, I realised how exhausted I was - cos I slept 3 hours straight. I could have slept more if Sam and K had not kicked me out of the bed. Though we had planned to shop and eat out and God knows what not, we ended up spending most of the day inside the house, generally talking, finishing some chores, last minute packings and arrangements. Pronto at 2000hrs we ventured towards the station. The entire crowd in the train seemed to be going to Hampi. There were so many people with RAC tickets who were travelling. All the while Sam was praying that we should get a proper place to stay( Yep inspite of Sam and I both being finicky about planning and being meticulous to the core, neither of us had been able to get any reservations done!!) The optimistic me kept reassuring her that things would be fine and the ultra pessimistic her kept wondering what if things were not fine :) K being K chose to doze off and let the ladies do the thinking :D. As happens whenever old friends meet, Sam and I were talking till 0100 at night and hit the bed pretty reluctantly.

The train was supposed to reach Hospet at 0745 hours. At 0645 K woke me and asked if we had arrived, but I said there was still an hour to go. We decided to snatch some more winks. All of a sudden a lady came and said "You going to Hampi na?" We jolted YESSSS. She said "Its Hospet station get down get down, just take your luggage and get down". Maa kasam, aisa mere saath pehle kabhi nehi hua!! I freaked out, took one of the backpacks and scrammed. K and Sam were in deeper sleep I suppose, cos they took some more time. I was like hurry hurry come fast all the while. We jostled out of the train and stepped into the glaring sun of Hospet.

We were giggling silly at our stupidness. And we thought, wow quite an adventurous start!!

Scarce did we know - the adventure had just began!

Stolen Moments

2009-09-05T21:47:00.004+05:30

Time management is one of the most common classes in our office. Time and again we keep receiving emails for yet another time management course and as habit, I drag to the trash folder :) But time management is one thing any one needs heavily.

Many a times I feel, K and I hardly have time for each other. I rise around 0630 and attend to the chores in the kitchen. After an hour and a half, when I am done with my duties, and ready for the gym, K wakes up. He is around in the house for an hour or so when he gets ready for office and packs the lunches. By the time hes ready to leave for office, I come back from the gym and have a 40 minute window to get ready for work. Evenings are equally crammed. Some days in case hes early ( which is a big rarity, I get caught up in something. ) Even if I am early, many a times I have some pending tasks which I cater to from home. Else he gets immersed in preparing for a certification he is planning to write. I do not complain about this, cos this is life, but then when we cross each other passing by (he starting for office and me returning from gym or he hitting the bed while I am on with some work, he with his mug of coffee while I am starting to the gym etc) we kinda miss each other. But its good in a way because every time we are together, we relish those precious times.

Like last weekend. We ventured out just for the heck of it in a bus to a land far far away for a haricut :) Yep we chose to travel some 20 odd kilometers while people do come to some salons in our area for a nice hairdo. And fate had it such, the main person (the "Billoo Barber " we had heard a lot about and gone to see ) was missing from the salon that day and we had to make just a round trip. On the return we got famished and had an amazing Chettinadu meal!! We were soooo full, we decided to do our tummies a favor and walked back the entire 4 km stretch back home. We chit chatted, and discussed so many things - my opinion about his friends, his childhood days, my memories of our time in Papas government quarters and so many other things we rarely talk about. The walk from the hotel to our home, is something we both will cherish for a very very long time.

And the next day I did something I had never done before - I invited 2 of his friends for dinner. I always have fond memories of mom hosting a lot of get togethers for dads friends and their families. I was a tongue tied ungainly teenager then and remember being very quiet. My feisty sister was an epitome of cuteness and quietness too. I remember one of dad friends ask her one question after another to get more than a monosyllable as an answer. But none the less as I look back, those days were idyllic with all the elaborate cookings and choosing the best dress to wear and tidying up the house (rather pushing all clutter behind the cupboards :) ) Last sunday when we hosted K's friends, I could understand how happy my mom might have felt going through all the pain of cooking, arranging and later even cleaning. Post that, as we both were sipping the Coca cola, K got talking about some of his wishes and random aspirations. We were discussing them, as if they were events about to take place in the coming week and were charting the plan of action for absolutely hypothetical scenarios. Do not remember how time passed by, but I do remember feeling very satisfied after that long drawn conversation. :)

Luckily fate gave us another chance to steal some precious moments last Thursday. K and my workplace are in the middle of no where and both the no wheres lie diametrically opposite to each other (@!%^@!$!) But Thursday, K had to come in the direction of my office to meet a team mate of his whose father had expired. We both decided to return home together. Once K reached my office, we had snacks together. It was more just to be together rather than out of hunger. Just as we started for home, it started pouring. And we shared one umbrella and came home drenched. I hate the journeys in share autos I undertake every day . Its like smoking a cigarette, each one takes 5 minutes of happiness from my life :( The days it rains when I am commuting, I hate it even more - much much more. But for the first time since I joined my office, I liked the journey back home. It felt like good old times in Bangalore where our love more or less blossomed in one fated auto trip where K gave me his shoulder to rest upon *blushes*. Once home, we had yummy mil made pasta and yummy me made masala tea and the soporific sound of rain drops dancing on the balcony in the background. It was bliss, I felt happy to be where I was - with a loving friend ( I still do not look upon K as a husband :) ) and an mil who adds a unique angle of wise support to our domesticity.

I am not sure when again I might get such pleasant moments with K. Maybe they should have a course on "personal time" management course for people who work in God forsaken work places and have a lot of personal hobbies and interests to accommodate and who .........the list just does nt end here :) (I should start working on designing such a course maybe :D )

Indecisive me, guilty conscience and an innocent tag

2009-08-25T12:28:00.005+05:30

The title of the post is quite a mouthful :) For the lack of a load to write on, I decided to club everything I could think of.

The Ganesh Chaturthi weekend that went by was full of dilemmas for me. I do not mind the earth shattering, tsunami causing ones, cos I feel I am well empowered to handle them. The ones I dread are, what should I wear, should I eat another sweet or not, should I go to gym today or succumb to laziness and doze some more and so on.

There was nothing planned for the weekend, so K as per his latest fancy that I should sport shorter hair, was persistent we make a trip to a salon far far away where I would get the hair cut to die for. I like change, but then I dread if some changes will make me become a recluse unable the face the mirror and people. What if I end up having a mop like hair cut or any other the other nightmarish cuts that so many actresses sport with elan. For Sunday there was a whole bunch of things packed - puja in the morning, temple visit in the afternoon and a wedding reception in the evening. So with my puppy eyes I went to master K and said, tomorrow was going to be too tiring, could we just laze around the house for a day? Reluctantly I got his nod and then slept off for good 3 hours in the afternoon.

But when I woke, I was guilt ridden - at having wasted precious time. Rather than being re freshed and rejuvinated, I was feeling strangely drained. I wished, I had ventured out and gotten some fresh air:( But then it was too late. And I had to amuse myself with back to back movies on tv. I hoped the coming day would be better as I hit the bed.

Sunday also started on a gloomy note. I rose and shone at 0600 for the puja preparation, but then things got going faster than I anticipated. Most chores were over by 0900 thanks to the propelling force of my mil. And then there was nothing to do but wait for K to finish some sacred thread changing thingy he was on with. By mid day, a cover of sleep started to envelope me. We had planned to go to the replica of the Jagannath temple on ECR with some colleagues of mine. But with the laziness that was surging over, I chucked the plan. K tried to convince to make it, but then I chose to be lazy yet again. As an action replay of the previous day, yet again, I felt guilty of not sticking to the plan, not venturing out, not summoning that extra bit of will and making it. The ride to the temple would have been so much fun - wish I had made it. Argh - I so wish I was a more decisive person and if I was not created decisive, wish God had left me without this penchant for feeling guilty so easily.

And on the same note, Deeps tagged me
Here are the rules :-
RULE 1
You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
RULE 2
You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!

Asked someone to marry you? Innocent

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent

Ever told a lie? Guilty

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Innocent

Kissed a picture? Guilty

Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent

Fallen asleep at work/school? Innocent

Held a snake? Innocent.

Been suspended from school? Innocent

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent

Stolen from a store? Innocent

Been fired from a job? Innocent

Done something you regret? Guilty

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Innocent

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent

Kissed in the rain? Innocent

Sat on a roof top? Innocent

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent

Sang in the shower? Guilty.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent

Shaved your head? Guilty

Had a boxing membership? Innocent.

Made a girlfriend cry? Guilty.

Been in a band? Innocent

Shot a gun? Guilty

Donated Blood? Innocent

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent!

Eaten cheesecake? Guilty

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent

Have/had a tattoo? Innocent.

Liked someone, but will never tell who? Innocent

Been too honest? Guilty

Ruined a surprise? Innocent :)

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterwards? Guilty. Guilty Guilty

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty.

Joined a pageant? Innocent

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty

Had communication with your ex? Innocent

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent.

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty!