Wednesday, October 16, 2024

24 hours

 The first 24 hours are the worst. That's when everything is fresh and everything hits hard. 


I climbed down to a much quieter and emptier house. As I was unloading the dishwasher this morning I was reminded of my annoying mummy loading it yesterday to give me some respite for one last time this year. I made one cup of coffee while for the past 4 weeks I was used to making one for papa as well on the working days. 

As Chiyaa left for school I thought about yesterday. She said her goodbyes to Tubi and Aja. She cried a lot, they cried a lot. Today she left with excitement to be on a trip with her friends (a happy coincidence). And my parents are in Dubai waiting for the next flight to home. 

Yesterday I did my school pickups without mummy beside me. Today I will watch Pumpki doing her swim lesson without mummy beside me. I will come home to no questions from papa about how Pumpki did. 

Each thought   is a sucker punch. Each wave of emotion is tough. As I go through the day I keep thinking how they would have felt when they say this, what they would think of such and such. My parents have seen it all but I feel wish they were here to see it again. The first 24 hours are the toughest till we get used to routine. 

Tuesday, October 15, 2024

My favourite holiday

 My favourite holiday is when my parents are with me. And I had the awesome opportunity of having them for a month from September to today. With my parents around it is a strange warmth. It is a mix of nostalgia and moving on. 


My father is the routine bound person who adheres to his schedule with passion. His meal times, his walks, his sports viewing , his news viewing  - every thing goes on with an  absolute accuracy of time. Being a bit out of his comfort zone in the UK and given his age he is a bit dependant on us for every need of his. It makes me feel sad for the cruelty time inflicts on us. But at the same time it also makes me feel happy to be able to take care of him in this reversed roles state.

My mom is also much weakened. Her legs annoy her and her stamina is lower. Still she's always there. Aggressively cleaning the dishes and loading the dishwasher, preparing meals with such love and always ready to make her oh so amazing tea. Today till they left the house she was doing one thing or the other - cooking, cleaning, making extra tea  and even offered to keep a cup for my sister and I to have later. Her love is something that is not of this world.

This year I was lucky to experience Durga Puja with them. I am not a religious person. But Puja has a certain vibe for me maybe because of the school holidays that were a part and parcel of it growing up. We went to see a couple of celebrations in Leeds. Though they were nothing compared to the pomp and show back home it was still joyful spending the time with papa mummy and experiencing the difference. Instead of the traditional prasad we ended up having pizzas since we were too tired to cook. The novelty of it just warmed my heart. 7 of us, 3 generations all wrapped in the warmth of love and companionship. It was just surreal.

But God had another surreal surprise in store for us. The Northern Lights! We had missed the first show on 10th of May. It was my sisters birthday in May on the night of the aurora sightings all over UK. We had missed it. But on 10th of October we were not to be fooled! We were lucky to view the spectacle from our house. It was amazing, splendid, unprecedented and exciting! I just can't thank God enough for letting me experience it with my parents.

I will only thank my good fortune and Almighty for having such lovely enriching experiences with my parents. I hope they enjoyed it too. We will hopefully host them soon again. We will hopefully make more memories together again. We will hopefully enjoy the warmth of each other's company again. Till then we will endure this separation and live through the emptiness.