Cant help but reminisce

 The total bliss of Christmas holidays are over. And I can't help but look back at the wonderful time that went by. It went by in the blink of an eye, it seems. 

The kids' holidays kickstarted on the 19th of December and since then the 'holiday spirit' kicked in. There was no getting up right on time, getting their breakfast, hair and uniform fixed and rushing out of the door before logging into work. And then the madness of the evening with the pickup and the meal preps and what not. The mornings and evenings were way more relaxed and that for me is the best part. 

We as often is the norm got an early finish on the 23rd which was the last working day before Christmas. And then there were some more phone calls to home and general relaxing since I had an invitation from a friend for dinner that night. My friend is Romanian and vegan. And she had made some wonderful stuff combining those two characteristics. I was wary of the kids since they are very fussy eaters. But they fared amazingly. She also presented them some kid friendly mock-tails and adult looking desserts which pleased them to no end!

We do not do much over Christmas but this year we had plans for an early celebration for Pumki's birthday. That warranted a cake! So on Christmas eve we marched to the nearby shopping centre to get cream and cocoa powder which were essential ingredients. On the way we met a few strangers and it was a very pleasant feeling to wish random people. 

We had two ginormous lego sets for the kids as Christmas gift. Since they would take a load of time to build, they were game for them to be handed over a day before Christmas. The excitement was just awesome to see them unravel the gifts and get building on them. They enjoy lego a lot and it is a very immersive gift. Thanks to them being tied up with it, I was able to do a ton of cleaning in the house and also catch up on 2 Hindi movies! I generally dont watch movies since I cannot give the time for it. A disjointed movie is not a good experience to have. But this time I was able to carve out the hours to watch Doctor G and Freddy. And the best part was, they were very good movies. Two that I would definitely recommend. 

Christmas Eve and Christmas day were more or less hibernation mode for us. There were four of us in the living room, the heating on: K playing video games, girls on lego and me reading a book or watching the movies. It was so deeply pleasurable. It was just immensely joyful to feel that warm wrap of family. It was good that we were having this restful time, since there were some busy days coming up :D 

Yours thankfully :)

 I turned a year older. Not that it matters. But the day is made so special by people who love me that I can only thank God.

It started with Chiyaa taking the responsibility to bake a cake. As I have said, we love the channel Bake with Shivesh and his Devil's food Cake. She took the full ownership to check the recipe and mix the ingredients while taking minor guidance from me. It was amazing to see her so committed to the effort. Pumpki was not so keen on it initially. But then enthusiasm like all emotions is contagious. She too joined in and the end result was an amazing, luscious cake! On my birthday, breakfast was cake! What can be more awesome than that for a child 

K and I had the day off. We have realised that the city centre is a 5.5 km walk from our home. For his birthday we had walked the distance and rewarded ourselves with a Japanese buffet. We decided to do a repeat this year. It was a bit hard to walk in the 0 degrees temperature, loaded with heavy jacket and scarves and hats and what not. But we still managed it.  The buffet was super satisfying and I must say I am so so in love with Japanese food!

Food done, we did some window shopping and took in the sights of the Christmas decorations. There were a lot of tempting options, but then we moved on with promises to come back and shop at leisure some other day. Because school pick ups beckoned. 

We had plans to go for an ice skating session at a nearby mall. We went all geared up. And my God! were we awful at it. The kids fell and I had to control my laughter and pick them up, all the while making sure that I did not fall! There were some tears of frustration from the kids for sure, but I will applaud them for taking it on their chin and trying their best. They even managed to stand and take a few steps without help. For the first attempt I would say it was amazing! I on the contrary was determined not to FALL on my birthday. So I clung on to the side railings as if my dear life depended on it. I kept going sssssslide quite some time and on the verge of falling on my backside, but then my arm strength worked. And I was able to cling to the side walls without a fall. After a bitter sweet experience, we have decided to go for skating lessons nearby :) 

End of session, we re-fuelled ourselves and then called it a day. A day of sweet nothings. A day full of love from family and a lovely set of friends who keep me in their thoughts. I could not be more thankful. 

Its morning already!

 15th December 1500 hours was when I logged off last year. It was a fabulous time to log off. I had 2 days to myself before the school holidays kicked in. It was spent fabulously on myself. 

Once the holidays began, the tasks with kids began. Keeping them engaged and entertained. Taking them on walks. My sis, the kids and I took a long walk to a nearby shopping mall and had a blast of a day. K was on holiday on Christmas eve and we made a trip to see some stalactites and stalagmites. It was a wonderful day out with amazing food. I used to spend the nights with my nose deep in a thriller. Till K gave me a nerve chilling whack commenting that if I paid as much attention to the new technology I was going to start working on from next year as I was paying on the novel, I would reach great heights. It was probably a comment made in jest, but it reminded me of my school days when Papa had made a similar comment on some subject I wasn't paying attention to. I am not sure if I made any improvements in the subject, but I remember being hurt and being a bit more diligent. K was right. I was about to start working on a tech stack I had no idea about. It would be a good idea to spend some time at least in brushing up some fundamentals. And that night I started. It was not a good feeling to open the laptop and do technical reading, but the course was easy to navigate through. It also gave me a sense of accomplishment. I had to chug on. :)

Christmas was a blast! We had gifted the girls a Lego each. They started working at 9 in the morning and till 2130 they were up making their intricate structures! It was amazing to see them so hard at work and also so patient to get going. Chiyaa is the patient one and persists on a task easily. She also likes following instructions. So she was in her elements dealing with the construction. Pumpki was an eye-opener.She did spent a lot of time handling a lot of intricate details herself. It was just amazing. When they went to bed, they were quite upset that they had spent the entire time just building and not playing :) And the next day they were being dragged to a sea life centre :D

The trip to the sea life centre the next day was fabulous. I drove and it was brilliant to drive at nearly 75-78kmph on the near empty roads. The trip was fantastic especially for Chiyaa who soaked everything in. The girls got some time to play in the evening while I retired to some more studying. Another trip awaited us the next day. Till we had 3 days of relative quite while we prepped for the New Year.

On New Year's eve we had a few family friends over. And the weekend was quite sedate with some walks. I had the desire to plan a trip, but then the course work also tied me down. Eventually I was able to complete the course on Monday which was a holiday which made me give out a big Whoop! Whoop! :) Last night was spent ironing clothes, getting the bags in order and frenzied cooking to prep for the coming week. I had proper frayed nerves and even ended up shouting at the kids for no good reasons. But then a walk with Chiyaa while listening to music sorted it out. 

We all had trouble getting to sleep at "normal" times and think I was up past midnight reading a book :| The alarm going off at 0530 this  morning the worst sound I have heard in 2 weeks

I know what I was missing

 A holiday! And I finally had one. Not a day out in the parks, not a trip to the nearby zoo and back. But a proper staying out of home holiday. And the last one we had was two years ago!

Faced with the pandemic we took a very conservative stance towards holidays. As the world opened up briefly last year around summer, we decided it was still too early to go for holidays and trips. We were more than content with the local forests and parks. During winter last year, we made a few day trips to zoos and other outdoor venues. In UK internal travel restrictions were to lifted on the 18th of May. But we had to plan in advance. Again we took a very conservative stance and booked a place close by thus making sure we were within England. Not only that the place was 1 hour from home which made it the same county which would ensure that we would mostly be under similar restrictions if things went downhill.

But planning a holiday is no child's play. Add the fact that we were looking at summer half term which is a very busy time given the probability of good weather. Also there were millions of stir crazy Britons who were desperate for a holiday..accommodations of choice were in short supply. I was close to giving up. But my dear sis nudged me on asking me to keep looking for my sake. It is important to rejuvenate and travel is rejuvenating.

I was getting frustrated. But K happened to send me a link for a probable destination. It had my interest piqued. One thing led to another and I booked a forest retreat with hot tubs. If nothing else, the hot tubs would be a novel experience ;)

There was a month and a half's wait before the holiday. A week to it I asked the kids to pack their stuff. They got super super excited. They took out bags, packed clothes, sweaters, jackets, and started counting down. Me being me had to review their choice of clothes and accessories. And as with any holiday I decided the kids needed new clothes. Nearly a year of lockdown had depleted their clothes reserves and added a lot to their pyjama collections. So 4 days prior to the hols the three girls were sitting all agog in front of the laptop choosing dresses. I ended up purchasing some real stylish clothes for the girls which was a wholly entertaining experience in itself. We made a trip to the mall to collect the clothes and tried them on there. It was novel experience since trial rooms were not available to avoid social contact. Doing something as trivial and mundane as trying out clothes made me feel good. It was some amazing mother daughters time I must say! As a pleasant surprise we met one of Pumpki 's nursery friends and her mom and spent close to an hour talking while the kids played. It was a really pleasant experience.

The day of the holiday the kids could not contain their excitement. Somehow the nice weather made sure that we were in the garden pottering about. It had been a very busy weekend with a lot of washing of winter wear and the likes and packing them up. It was finally warm!!!

Our holiday was quaint and idyllic. The sceneries were just breathtaking. There were few crowds and many places were just left for us. It was very amazing just walking and walking. The kids showed immense will power in walking close to 10k -13k steps every single day. The hot tub at the end of the day was a major motivation to keep them going. Seeing their enthusiasm we are sure they are up for many walking holidays in the future. :) We all watched a ton of TV, I read and finished the good part of a book. We ate take away food and just relished living some where else. 

It was the best 4 days we spent in a long long time. It was just splendid and I daresay perfect! Touchwood.

Best summer ever!

 It seems they take forever to come,but once a year the summer does grace us. And it is lovely every single time. 

This year there has been a lot of work from home thanks to the pandemic. But a work day is a work day whether from home or office. I had my first set of holidays booked for August. I had 2 days and 2 weeks off work. And I was eagerly waiting for it. 

As a run up I finished quite an important chunk of work. The day I started my holidays, Papa found out about the British Airways commencing service to India. We had made a lot of attempts to get on the Vande Bharat repatriation flights but with no luck. And we did not want to get on the wrong side of law by not taking any steps to get their return booked. So we went ahead and booked the flight for the 24th of August. But, the flights kept getting rescheduled. Thankfully I was on holiday to be on calls, waiting a good 30-40 mins to get the next available flight booked. 

That's the drab part of the holidays. Now for the fun part. I researched a load of outdoor places we could go to for free. It was not too difficult. There were lots of woodlands and walking paths nearby. Also there was no dearth of parks around either. I managed to round up the kids to some place or other every day. It was a bit of a struggle getting the kids ready and enthused for the walk outdoors. But once they got started, they loved it whey single time and asked for more. 

I also managed to catch up on some good ol reading! I finished two books! Holidays have a wonderful impact don't they! Even though I might have been physically more active, I wasn't tired. I felt well rested and could easily go till 1 in the morn reading a book and be up with no sign of tiredness. It is never the case with a work day where even if I hit the bed at 2200 I feel tired in the morning. And all I do all the day long is sit in front of a laptop! 

I did a load of cleaning and cleansing of toys. Cleaning doesn't mean disinfection. Means actual dumping of 'not so often used' toys in the bin. It was a very satisfying feeling and something I had been meaning to do. There were a few more decluttering operations undertaken around the house, but the toy box cleanse took the cherry on the cake. Getting the uniforms sorted for schools was another big yay! 

My holidays gets over this weekend. It's K 's turn for the next week. And I in a moment of emotion told Chiyaa of it. She exclaimed 'wow! The last days of bossiness and then it's fun, fun, fun!' I was aghast! When I told K, he chuckled and said ' I wouldn't choose me :D' 

Well I am not complaining even if Chiyaa thinks she had days of bossiness! Lots of check boxes ticked. The weather was perfect with not a single day of rain. It was a very wholesome holiday. Papa and mummy's unplanned stay was an added bonus. I could not have asked for a better summer!

First post :)

As I was reading my book yesterday, I suddenly realised that I had to turn the alarm on! It had been 8 days since I had turned it off.

It seems like yesterday being Christmas eve. Last year our office closed at noon. I expected the same this year too. So I did not get my lunch from home. There was no email from the super boss about early closure. On the contrary I got an email from K that his office would close at 1400!! His work place is the stricter one. It came to noon, still no email. Well, I waited, but as noon turned to 1300, I got impatient. And hungry too. I was toying with the idea of going out and buying lunch. But what if they closed immediately after!? I would miss eating delicious mom made food! So I waited, and waited and waited. The 4 other people in the office waited too. Two lost patience and wrapped up. I was going to make a move anyways, when bam!! the email came!"

If you are still in the building please feel free to take the afternoon off (if your manager confirms) to get on the road early and avoid the rush should you need it. If you are working from home, please disconnect and relax!" 

Woo hoo!! Holidays were officially on!!

I dashed to the bus and asked K where he was. That bugger was on his way home!! But we timed ourselves and reached home around the same time. The kids were uber excited to have both papa and mummy with them! Christmas was made up of good food and a movies. Boxing day was the same. I can say the same about 27th as well :) ;) On 28th which was Pumpki's birthday, we made a trip to the city centre and wonderful meal. We came back loaded with loads of art and crafts stuff. 29th and 30th were blessed sunny days and hence deemed playtime in the sunshine. 31st we hosted a dinner with a few friends and ushered in the new year. And 1st was as usual full of sumptuous food:) 

The theme across the 8 days was food and food. Also there was reading late into the night. One night I was up till 2am reading a book which felt just awesome. There was a lot of reading to the kids as well and they loved it. A lot of art work was created and a lot of games played. It was really the most magical time. And I woke up right depressed this morning. Literally cannot wait for the same time again this year. 

Assorted news?

See what I did there with the title? I have no idea what I am going to write. But my head is bubbling. There is quite a lot going on. So this will be a very jarring post.

Summer hols are drawing to a close. Yes we are nearing the end of 6 weeks of no school. You know how they say the average parent gets 5 hours less sleep? ( Less sleep than who? Non parents? What defines an average parent- one with 2 kids, with 4, what age of kids? Well no one questions these aspects. We gladly wallow in self pity boo hoo look at us surviving with less sleep)  I had warned you this was going to be an incoherent post.....Coming back. The average parent according to me handles childcare responsibilities. They are not easy. Kids can be nerve wrecking. They have too much energy, are very inquisitive  and can survive a very active day with very little food. All the good qualities ideally the parent should have. God - your sense of irony is amaze! So well we had 6 weeks of a child in her activated state who could oh so easily super charge her sibling. And trying to work with not one but two kids around - that is like driving with your eyes closed. You have no idea what will hit you. So we had a topsy-turvy routine at home. I took a couple of weeks off work and it was such a pleasure hanging out with the girls! We do relive our childhood through our kids.

But I got another chance to relive my childhood. The other day I had to travel to Leeds. I am a seasoned traveller now but..... Travelling still gives me the hebbie jeebies. To take my mind off I painstakingly decide the attire. That day I even had a new handbag. I also tried a new cream I got as a sample from one of the stores which would  make my skin radiant all day long! Not sure about radiance I sure was a bit sweaty by the time I reached the station at 0540. Is that what they meant by radiance? I was greeted by a notice stating that essential maintenance work had resulted in my regular service being disrupted. So for my northwards journey I would need to go south and resume upwards. I had to spend 8 hours in train both ways to account for 7 hours of work. But I am 'supposed' to travel to Leeds at least once a month. Hmm..... Decision time. It is these sort of decisions that make up life don't they. And I decided to strut right home with my radiant face. And when I reached home to my shocked mom ( did I tell you she was around? More about that in a later post) and a very pleasantly surprised Chiyaa all I was reminded of was the rainy days in school. Remember being all dressed up for school when it would be pouring all sorts of canines and felines. And then the announcement of school being  closed! It used to make my day! Like Sia I love cheap thrills. And do you know what would be the first thing I would do once we got back home? Eat my lunch! And can you guess what was the first thing I did on coming home from the station that day? I slept an additional hour! The average parent in me was having one hellova ride !

It is these small decisions that make up life. Give the small joys or cause the minor pains. And we took one such decision a few months back. But seeing the clock has moved past midnight let me make the decision to hit snooze on my train of thoughts. I have a couple of un- snoozable alarms;) more on the  decision in the next post.

Something is wrong with me

Any change seems disconcerting. Any change has a potential to throw a spanner in the works. But any change is advantageous. Any change is a chance for better. 

But I think I am not getting any good at changing my sails to the winds. We moved to a new place. I am still not at home here. In the place's defence I was barely here travelling to India  within a short span. Still.... I don't feel like accepting it. The return from India was uneventful. The commencing week was supposed to wring life out of us. On the contrary we were so busy we missed out on finding things amiss. I coped through the first week brilliantly and if there is any truth in morning showing the day, I felt, well the vacation and the glorious time had a positive rejuvenating effect.  Chiyaa was to start school a week on, the start of new routine and better things.  

Things are not turning out as expected. I am feeling a loss. I of course miss having the trouble maker at home. The little one also misses big sister and is super clingy. This leaves with nothing better to do but miss the company I had. I miss having all the people around. I know it was a holiday and  temporary. I feel all alone in this strange new setting. I am ill at ease, restless, diffident. Since Chiyaa started school I sent pictures of her in school uniform to her nursery. It was a pleasure hearing back from the nursery managers and them appreciating how Chiyaa had grown. But since most nursery emails are not relevant to me any more, I unsubscribed from their mailing list. It was like cutting a crucial tie. A part of me hoped to meet all the amazing nursery staff again while another part pondered what would I talk if I did met them again? My own thoughts don't make sense to me.

I am high strung for no apparent reason. Just holiday blues? Simple lack of sunshine? Or the overwhelming feeling of having too much to do? Or am I missing my little birdie? Seeing her get ready in a uniform makes it all seem so strange. She is such a little thing. Seems like yesterday I had her in my arms. Now she is in yet another setup, dealing with new people, trying to forge new friendships, having new experiences.  One  half of me wishes to just hold on to her..... Keep her from slipping away. And  another half wishes for her to grow up sooner, so that we can go for walks and swimming and trips.  I don't know what I am hoping for. I so wish I knew.

The ugly the bad the good

Highlights of the day we hosted Chiyaa's first birthday party.

Chiyaa got up right on time in a fresh vibrant mood. This lead to the lazy parents also waking up on time without needing an alarm . Good.

We were able to finish her morning chores without breaking sweat. She was showered, fed and dressed up and looked like a shiny new penny :) Good.

I wore a saree without a mirror and to my satisfaction in the very first attempt. Good.

Dad and his friend made plans to buy some decoration stuff en route to the party venue. They did find a shop which sold just the right things! Good.

We reached the venue in a cab with the baby and the return gifts . Dad and friend carried the decoration stuff and the big heavy cake. Two families had already reached by the time we arrived . Not so good. And from here kick in the bad and ugly :(

The cake had been kept over night in a refrigerator (thanks to mummy's dummy-ness) It had turned rock solid. Needed total brute force to cut. Dad's colleagues in fact took turns to cut it. It was so hard! Bad.

Due to the 'toughness' of the cake the cutting took forever :( kids who come to birthday parties for the cake and the return gifts were getting tad restless. Bad.( thankfully once served the cake was delicious though badly mutilated)

The stewardess was taking forever getting things onto the tables . She was a slow coach . For some reason on top of it she wanted to do everything - no delegation at all . As if this party was going to be the single most important thing she would put on her resume. She did not have the common sense to serve the dishes on each table . Rather she went on asking if the dish had been 'ordered'( much to the confusion of the guests . We could not also micro manage each table) Things were going a bit helter skelter there. Bad.

She spoke Tamil - since most of the guests also spoke the language- she went about bad mouthing her boss on some tables. It led to a bit of dampening of the atmosphere . Outright ugly.

We had selected ice cream as the dessert . But the owner had forgotten to stock up enough ! Rather there was none!!!! It was VERY embarrassing to tell the guests the same and ask if they would want some more juice! Ugly.

Since the damage was already done we thought it would be pointless to argue with the owner. We paid the full fare, heard his lame excuses and came out. Bad.

--since I am the eternal optimist I choose to stick to the good no matter how morbid the bad and ugly . So some more goods :)

We looked and felt very nice end of day.

We have a 100 pictures to commemorate the first birthday of our first born. Thanks to Dino.

It was wonderful to have him around - it was like a dash of home. Made us feel unspeakably comfortable!

The atmosphere overall was very friendly . People were chatting, mingling , and generally having fun. People who do not frequent many of the social events had made it! The guests in fact pitched in to blow balloons , decorate the place and participate .

Though we were tired at the end of the day and Dino's departure made us feel sad - it was a special day we enjoyed . I would have preferred some things to have happened in some other ways - but in end it reminded me of our wedding day. A special day but not a perfect day. As I said in my last post- maybe we do not do perfect after all .

There is something about Monday too

Is'nt it? Something so URGHH!! If I knew Monday personally I would have killed it. If I was Monday I would have killed myself. Hmpf! 

Today started darkest and dingiest of all days. The sun rose at around 0930. Urgh again! I was bracing myself for things to turn around, now come on the sun had beat the clouds and was out and about. More over I had a new TV delivery to await which K had been really looking forward to( a 42 inch Sony make LED for the most amahzinggg PS3 gaming experience ( iiiiiiiiiif Chiyaa lets him play Mwahahahahaahaha) Anyways, so I was looking forward to the delivery. I hoped Chiyaa would not be fussy when the technician was around. I also tried to finish her chores as soon as possible. In the haste I was a bit careless and she took a mighty big fall :(  - shes just trying to stand up now a days. Poor dear was inconsolable for quite sometime :(

Right then I got a message from my sis to call her. She never ever asks me to ring. Things must have gone south for her. As anticipated her situation was a bit messed up. I gave her some my dose of advice when the TV technician called.

He had already bored K enough by asking him directions to our place which is literally a straight line from where he was coming. He even cried about which apartment gate he should park at, where should he keep the stuff etc etc.

He came over all huffing and panting and marched to the place where I showed where the TV was to be fitted. Near that place I have a small play area for Chiyaa with a little carpet spread over. It generally lies littered with toys and other nick knacks of hers. Now this rhinoceros of a person just walked over without removing his shoes ( I know it's not an occidental culture to remove shoes but show some respect to a baby's toys! What do they look like? Compost?) My anger somehow knew no bounds and I very rudely asked him to step away and hurriedly removed the carpet . TV was set up in a jiffy but the interaction with the person left a bad taste in my mouth.

After that suddenly maybe just cos it was Monday my neck started throbbing and aching very annoyingly grrrrrr. To relax I logged into fb and saw a friend put up a rather horrendous photo of mine. My hair was flat( I had spent 5 whole minutes thinking whether to tie it or leave or open and had gone with tying and looked like a proper auntyyyyy waaaaa), I looked chubbied with a lil belly, the shirt looked formal (though its a pretty nice one it somehow looked yuk in the pic) and on the whole I looked like a fashion terrorist. By some divine intervention I wanted that pic to mysteriously disappear :( But such noble things don't happen and I was left to wallow in self pity. Kal se seriously walks, enough being all smug. I have'nt done step ups since we returned from India and I have been blaming winters for it ! Pathetic! Seriously PATHETIC!

Huh! Internet connection in BBSR was again feeble. Consequently the Skype call was so unsatisfactory :( more so cos I really wanted to talk to sis. All these were toooo overwhelming and I took to comfort eating. Ek to I looked like a piggy in the fb photo I knew I was doing no good by doing what I was. I knew a guilt trip awaited me. But then who listens to logic when emotions come aknocking. K had an avalanche of work and came home for a quick bite. Chiyaa was super clingy with him which made him feel very dejected. He wished to be with us but then duty called :( With a real heavy heart he made his way to work .

Things were just so botched up today. I hope John Abraham had a better day being his birthday ;)  

Ingredients for a (near) perfect day

• 20 mins of garma garam chai with Chennai granny on Skype
• 20 mins of exercise 
• The 5 month old falling asleep in the meanwhile with its dad for 45 mins
• 60 minutes of rejuvenating chat with a dear friend ;) 
• 45 minutes of respite utilized in making brownies while the 5 month old sleeps off again (The brownies look like gau maata's ahem excreta.... but taste fine :D ) 
• 105 minutes of watching the Olympic Triathlon while ironing some much wrinkled clothes of the better half
• 30 minutes of 'giggle time' with the 5 month old
• 120 minutes of nap by the kiddo which gives you time to be just 37 pages away from the end of a book (yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy)
• 60 minutes of chat with BBSR granny 
• 45 minutes of vigorous play while waitingggggggggg with bated breath for daddad to return (something special for dinnnnnnerrrr)
• 30 minutes of very very very very very and veryyyyyyyy anxious wait for the pizza
• 15 minutes of hogging down the pizza at break neck speed and by miracle the baby is asleep so mommy can afford to eat the slices with both hands (yea I eat pizza with both hands :P )
• A forever thinking how divine the pizza was!!! (Yes I am a true foodie and that was the highlight of the day :D  Even K told your stomach got some action after a long time so I can understand your feelings ;)   ) 

The book, the pizza, the Olympics and a sleeping baby

Added later - of course the brownies from Mars ;) 

And a colorful post

I feel--

Happy- That I am liking coming to office each day where I got a bunch of people who make the day a bit more pleasant and I have work lined up which I like.

Peaceful - That K finally is into a thing that his heart desired.

Enthusiastic - For a couple of family functions coming up which will give me a chance to use some dresses and jewellery which are otherwise just lying in cupboards/lockers.

Impatient - Cos there still a month to go before I get to meet my parents again.

Breathless - When I literally have to run from 0630 in the morning to 1030 to send off K to office with his lunch packed, get to the gym and finish the workout, rush back home and then scram to office.

Silly - When I doze off a bit on my way to office over a novel :(

Worried - Seeing my credit card bills and not being able to reign it in.

Satisfied- To see the stuffs that I have added to the house ever since I came.

Nagged - By the pain in my back and shoulder :S

Excited - That I got so much to read.

Frustrated - That I am slow in reading.

Good - That I fitted into a shirt after a long time! There are 2 more trousers which I got to conquer :)

So how do u feel?


PS. Just penned it down for the lack of anything substantial to write, but for the urge to write something none the less. As I was writing I thought, let me know what others feel too. So please take it up as a tag :) Will not name people since I would like to know each of my readers answer. But as I said please do write it :)

Whoopie weekend morose monday

The weekend that went by was awesome by all standards. Touchwood.

Saturday started on a happy note as mil went by to an ashram on the outskirts of Chennai. I dropped her at the bus terminus where she was picked up by her friend. Since she was all pepped up for the trip, it made me very glad first thing in the morning.

Once back from my gym, I got some veggies from the local store - Jeera rice and peas masala with salad - thats what K and I had decided upon. So I picked the veggies, came home, got our cuppa ginger tea ready and got on with the cooking after having put the tv in full bloom :) Simultaneously I also put the whole lot of the curtains of the bedrooms for wash and K went about killing the spiders in the cobwebs. Once done, we freshened up and got eating while watching the movie Lock stock and 2 smoking barrels.

Mid way through the movie, we thought, it would be better to get some grocery stuff else mil would be all harried over the weekdays. On the way we also had to give a picture of Ashtalakshmi for framing. The shop where we gave it, had an array of full length mirrors as well. And one of them had exactly the same wood color as our bed. We both thought, it was too good to be missed and went ahead to purchase it. It was serendipity, finding that beautiful piece and that too when we least expected it.

Once back, we finished the movie, went for some more chores in the evening, then I went on with making dinner for the 3 of us while Raghu and Rajiv made the wannabe roadies pass through hell right here in India before they could go down under :D. Mil came in 2000ish closely followed by the carpenter who would fix the portrait as well as the mirror. Both looked stunning on the wall they adorned (Lately I feel, I have developed a fetish for furniture :S Have bought 2 beautifull double beds, one mirror, and have my eyes on an equally dazzling shoe rack! :S )

Dinner done, we were casually flicking channels, and 3 of us ended up watching Zodiaz till 2330.

Sunday was equally fulfilling with elaborate cooking, eating,, resting and a trip to the beach. K managed to catch up with an old friend, which made his day. We were able to wrap up soon as I was expecting a really nice start to the week ahead.

But but but morning I woke all dazed :( Did not feel awake at all for a longggggg time. And every single thing I took up, did not work out. And the most brutal being the fact that yet again yet another shoe went kaput :(

I hate mondays - as much as garfield does.

I chose to make it a Happy New year

This time I am getting the same response from nearly everyone - the new year never made an impact. I am not sure if each and every person has taken a beating because of the economic meltdown :S but somehow everyone seemed to be giving me the same response.

Every year, I generally have some travel plans, to or from home, which makes the new year day or the days close to it(depending on the which part of the calendar I am traveling)pass by happily - if I would be going home, I would be at my chirpiest best, if I would be leaving home, I would be surrounded by relatives and hugs and kisses and with the wishes of seeing each other soon, that would make me brim with hope. But this year, it was for the first time that I was static.There was no trip in the offing. Thus it resulted in the new year not being accompanied with the fizz that it usually has.

Since our client offices were virtually vacant, work was nearly non existent. This prompted a lot of people to go forth on vacations or french leaves :) The empty chairs and just 60 minutes of work per day kind of made me feel, ok something is different, new year is coming up etc etc.

I had planned a dinner outing for K, mil and me for the 31st of December. But then mil suddenly did not seem to be in the spirits to go for it. K also being recently inducted into a high pressure assignment was not so game for any action :( And doing nothing special would have made me feel that there was nothing special. I know I know, as K remarked, it was just a change of calendar, but then, if we ignore the relevance of some days and carry on as usual, we might as well end up obliterating birthdays, holis, diwalis, christmases, anniversaries from our calendars. Cos, technically speaking, each one is just another day. It is because we chose to celebrate the occasion that the charm comes in. So I chose to make the new year, a happy one.

Since there was nothing much to be done, I scooted out at 1600 hrs on 31st evening. Seeing the bright twilight itself pepped me up. Was able to reach my area within an hour. The Ganesha temple which I adore a lot, was resplendent with flower decorations and I went inside and wished Chubby God to keep his benovelent eye on each one I love. On the way home from the temple, I picked some veggies - I had gajar ka halwa, puri and aloo subji in mind.

By the time I reached home, mil had convinced K to take me out for dinner. She wanted us to not spoil the program because she was not feeling up to it. But then I was all set to make dinner. I deferred making a call on the dinner plan till K returned home. Meanwhile mil and I savored ginger tea and watched Shrek 3 :)

K was stuck in deep traffic, which negated his chances of getting home before 2100 hrs. So I got on to making the dinner, and thankkkkkkkkk God! It came good. I was in the celebration mood already. After savoring a good dinner, I went on to watch RNBDJ yet again, to savor SRK :) Deliberately stayed up till 0000 hours, when I could do the functionary pranaam to God and zzzzed peacefully.

Come 1st, I started feeling a bit bored and nostalgic. All the while I kept remembering how vivacious things would be at my parents place, with mom cooking elaborate dishes, incessant chatter, telephones buzzing around, my sister prancing around. The day here at Chennai seemed very drab with K on with some office chores and mil generally mulling over family issues. Then I suggested lunch outside. Mil had had her fill at a havan she had attended and was more into having a simpler affair rather than lunching out. So she prompted us to eat out, while she rested her sleep deprived self( she had woken at 0400 to attend the Ganesha havan! )

Food was not out of the world, but the fresh air and winter sun and the sight of the decorated shops satiated me. Once back, I chose to drool over John Abraham and Bobby Deol in Dostana. Evening was spent talking , attending to some guests, having the remaining halwa and later having some serious discussion with K (Some times some remarks about news, views, current affairs, celebrities result in us having good quality discussions even at home. Yesterday it was something SRK had said in an interview :) ) Once that done, we watched Ghazini for an hour within which I dozed off and K wrapped up the laptop and cables.

The 1st passed off, without making a mark, but I will remember it, cos I had good food and caught up on some time pass movies - I felt all New Yearish - as a saying goes, you feel what you want to feel :)

Finally at peace

Small small things make a big picture I feel.
Ever since I came back from my vacation, I was so ill at ease... And there was no big trouble behind it. Only small matters, trivial things.

I did not have a decent pair of shoe for all my outfits. For a person like me who chooses which shoe to wear it was a problem of catastrophic proportions! I had just one "wear worthy" shoe! And cos of that I had to ration my clothes. I had to keep some of them at bay, cos they would not go with the only (yes only) shoe that I had. Boy it was so agonizing in the morning :( I felt all the more terrible because there was one particular darling black shoe that I had got with so much fervor, but it was being an unbearable pain. It used to give me terrible shoe bite in the heel. So there I was all dejected and gloomy, with one stupid shoe :(

But then on the weekend before the one that went by, I went shoe shopping. I had no hopes to get a good pair, but my lone shoe had borne the brunt of a week's incessant rains, and I couldn't be certain of its health. What if it breathes its last during an all important office day!! I could be beyond redemption. So I made an iron will and thought, no matter how the quality, I will get a pair for backup sakes at least. But at the shop, I picked not one but 2 shoes and both to my choice. Anddddddd surprise surprise, I also got transparent heel pads, which I could use with the bitter black shoe :) and voila!!! Since I already had 3 in my kitty, I decided to give a long discarded sports shoe a goooooood wash so that I can be choosy on friday mornings as well :D . Woo hoo! :)

Apart from that, it had been 2 months since I did any sort of exercise. I was feeling like the fattest person on earth. For one reason or the other I had not been able to renew the gym membership. During the Dusshera vacations I had eaten like a properrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr glutton. :( And I was somehow not able to summon the will to re join. I coaxed K to join me to motivate me. But no. For him the early morning slumber was way too important. I was waiting for some divine intervention, some push which would make me turn towards some form of exercising. K said, join after Diwali. Enjoy the onset of winter as long as you can and there is no better way of doing so but wrapping oneself up in bed. Hmmmmmmmm very pleasant thought and verrrrrrrry tempting, but then with tyres and radials shaping up, I again had to give so many items on the wardrobe a miss :(

I was waiting for 1st Nov all the while, but that day also I felt lazy in the morn :( When we were out for some shopping, K turned towards the gym and said, cmon, go pay the membership and start from tomorrow. You will like it. Oh how I love my hubby!! :) And from 2nd Nov, I was back on the treadmill. Feels great you know!

The long pending bed for mil was finally assembled together. The bed has the typical make of stuff from my uncle's factory, which makes me feel as if I am at my paternal house!! The room looks awesome with the stunning bed right in the center of it. With a new mattress right in place, I feel so satisfied giving my mom in law a lavish bed as a Diwali gift!

Diwali itself, though it was a much anticipated event for me, went a tad off key . Some minor mis understanding ruffled a few feathers in the morning. It was supposed to be a great event for me, cos the first Diwali after wedding is a much celebrated affair. The issue was resolved no sooner than it happened but then, the very fact that it was there, left a sour taste. Hmmm well who said life is a bed of roses.

Right now, the weather is taking a turn towards winter, and I think I am getting the groove back.

Feeling Blank

Some times I am very incoherent. I hate being in the state when I am blank. I am without an opinion, without a thought, without a vision – a state when I feel everything zipping past me and I like a mute spectator just watch on. My mind on one hand urges me to move, to get up, and to do some thing, anything but lie in a limbo. At any given point of time are not there lots of things to be completed, lots of tasks pending, lots and lots of ‘to do s’? But on the other hand I feel like just being as I am. I feel like wasting my muscles, subduing my thoughts. I feel any ways I won’t be able to effect much change in a few hours or in a day. There will still remain lots more things to be completed, some more pending tasks and there will never be tick marks against all the ‘to do s’. So why make the effort?

Just let time take hold. Let the day move on. Let tomorrow come. Tomorrow will be a new day. Tomorrow will throw new challenges on your face. Tomorrow will ask you to take up a new gauntlet. Tomorrow will force you to come out of the state of inertia. Tomorrow you won’t be in this insipid state of inaction.

But when tomorrow comes I feel ‘ARGH! I wasted yesterday :-( ‘