The cleanse post

 The spring half term gets over today. And I can look back at a wonderful 2 weeks of  this year. The first week was occupied by a trip to Jersey. It was a fabulous time away. Though we would have liked the weather to be a bit warmer, it was still a very lovely time. A trip we would definitely want to make again. 

Once we were back from Jersey, K felt a bit poorly. We blamed it on the travel stress. But something struck him as odd and he decided to take a Covid test. It came out positive and he happily retired to the bedroom with his stack of anime to watch :) I took a test too though I felt absolutely fine. It was just so that I did not come in too close a contact with the kids. I came out positive too :( I did not feel unwell at all. But to avoid the sickness from spreading to the kids, I decided to curtail hugging or kissing them, atleast for the first 5 days of recommended isolation. 

It was hard to stay away from the kids. But they managed themselves fabulously. As soon as they had 2 positive cases in the house, they started performing tests on their toys. Some toys tested positive while the others negative. The ones which tested positive were immediately sent for bed rest while the healthy ones started making cards and reading books (from a distance) to the ill ones. It was amazing to see the girls play into the late afternoon with this unique scenario. 

Since we could'nt step out, the girls were pretty much home bound too. But it was amazing to see them play and engage with each other. With some guidance, they had their food, took their shower and generally minded themselves. I could not hug them or kiss them till the 5 days of recommended quarantine and they kept asking every day, if it was 5 days yet :) 

At the end of 5 days, boy did we give them a squeeze!! It is amazing to see how self reliant my little girls are. They manage a ton of stuff by themselves. As the Easter long weekend kicked in, we were thankfully out to roam the world. There were a lot of walks with the kids, tasks in the garden and general enjoyment of sunshine. As the kids go back to school today I yearn for the lovely time with them again.

Been 2 months or is it 2 years?

 Both. 2 months since I last posted. There was nothing sensational to post. Life went on in its own merry pace which is what we need now is'nt it? The pandemic is more or less a thing of the past. And while that holds true, another thing of the past is the back. GOING BACK TO OFFICE. It has been over 2 years since we went to work. And on 21st March, we were summoned back. 

I hated any conversation about going back to work. I loved my work place which was bang in the middle of the city. I used to have monthly lunch dates with K which I loved. Over the pandemic, my company gave up the lease of the office space and took up one with a subsidiary. Now this place in in the middle of nowhere. It is a dry office building. And I dislike the commute which will force me to drive every day. No more reading a  book while commuting to work. Also I had built my life around working from home. I did the pick ups. I was there when the kids were back. We were able to extend their after school activities. All that would change. I started looking for jobs, fully remote ones. I did manage an offer but the remuneration was not what I was after, so I had to decline it. 

The anticipation of returning to work was horrible for me. I could not imagine the rush of dashing through the morning. My mornings after some quiet time at work involve running behind the girls, plaiting their hair and getting their breakfast sorted. But things would be different once at work. I was full of a weird trepidation. Like I used to feel when I used to come home on vacation from my college hostel. I would keep counting my days of pure bliss. And as the time to go back to hostel came closer I would be filled with dread. It was similar now. As the day came closer, I felt weird and uncomfortable.

But anyways the day came! I woke before time. Finished my morning chores and got Chiyaa's braid done. I was about to get started with Pumpki, but K stepped in and said that he would do it. I started off to work. My drive was smooth (beginner's luck). I got a bit lost in the office floor where I could'nt find where I was supposed to sit. But otherwise it was all right. 

Lets see how I keep finding this "newest normal".

Dress Rehersal

 The summer holidays are 2 weeks away. As I have adequately portrayed in my posts, they are  a bittersweet experience for me. More sweet than bitter to be honest. I relish reliving my childhood through the summer hols of the kids. There is a lack of routine which is so relaxing. The bitter part, is the juggle of work. Any day I would love to tear myself away from work and just play play play with the kids. But there are office tasks and with kids being at home, there are a bit more chores at home.

Last week, we had the kids isolating at home. There were positive Covid cases in both Chiyaa and Pumpki's classes. (The schools work on a bubble system. Each year group is a bubble. If there in a positive case in a year group which includes students and teachers, that year group has to self  isolate for 10 days) So they had to self isolate at home for a week. It was a coincidence that there were positive cases in both classes, else one of them would have had to go to school - which would have been hard to manage! It was back to the norm of home learning, which is skill we wont forget in a rush I think :) It was also back to the norm of lot of playing for the sisters. It was back to the norm of stretching the bed times since there was no rush to getting up early and dressed for school. It was back to no more school pickups and drops. It felt like a dry run, a little pre-cursor to the lovely summer vacations that are round the corner.

The kids go back to school today and I cant wait for the 2 weeks to pass soon enough!

Rasode main kaun hai

 Yours truly, aur kaun. :D

My kitchen journey is that of a typical 80s girl. I didn't cook as a kid cos Mummy was there. In spite of having a full time job, she never asked and in fact abhorred any help in the kitchen :) She used to work in her own pace and style. When mummy was transferred to another location and sis and I were living with Papa, I was forced to pick up one key cooking skill. Making tea! I was probably 13 years old then and quickly came to grips with the process of making tea. And I started making the most amazing teas! So much so that even if Papa had the time, he would ask me to make tea. The evening chai with a big serving of Milk Bikis and Thin Arrowroot biscuits was standard practice for us three. When mummy used to come on her holidays, she used to be shocked at the full mug fulls of teas we kids used to have. But the love for chai has stayed on with my sister and I. So much so, till date there is a debate who makes the better tea :D her or me :D . (Its me!) I can write a whole post on tea itself and my love for it. I have lived with many tea lovers during my adult life. I had a room mate who used to claim "any time is tea time". I did not have a pleasant stay with her, but somehow having the morning cup of tea before starting to work and the evening cup once back were the moments of peace and weird calm. I also lived with a bunch of Delhi girls once upon a time, who were ace tea makers too. But I cannot talk about tea without mentioning roomie dear who used to make a killer tea.  Every morning a really quiet but super recharging walk, followed by hot parathas  with an unhealthy portion of butter, a cup of tea and The Time of India shared between us. We never needed any retreat. We started every day as if we were in a retreat. Some of the very best mornings of my life!

The knowledge of making coffee kinda grew as a lateral learning. There was some science to boiling the milk to the right extent and pouring it in a certain way to get the right amount of froth. There was also the measure of coffee to make it "light" or "strong". Marrying into a Tamil household opened my eyes to coffee. Its a ritual. I am not ritualistic. But the taste of fresh ground coffee, that is something that words cannot describe. I embraced coffee drinking with as much passion as tea. And I managed to introduce "real" tea in the our circle. The proper tea ;) with ginger, little bit of cardamom, the right amount of sugar, tea, milk and water. Its heaven in a cup! 

Tea, coffee aside, I cooked only for survival before marriage. Cooking when it was my "turn" to cook or when the lady who cooked didn't turn up.  In fact, when K spoke to my mother for the first time, she even mentioned "Amrita cant cook". K replied "She will learn" I chuckled "hah dream on". I thought I was one of those girls, who couldn't and wouldn't cook. Cooking wasn't cool.

Entering a partnership with a foodie changes stuff. Rather entering a partnership with a man changes stuff for a woman. Cos most men value food. They may have different tastes, but I haven't met a man who doesn't place food in the higher echelons in terms of priority ;) kuch bhi bana do is not really kuch bhi bano do :) 

After marriage along with bringing in the delicacy of tea, I also brought in matar paneer, gobi aloo, kadhi, stuffed parathas and vegetables such as pointed gourd, red spinach and Malabar spinach. I also had to imbibe the fair share of kootu, avial and a wide variety of rice dishes. I never fancied myself as a cook, but cooking equated creating. And I am one who loves seeing a tangible output. This post for instance is an output of my thoughts and gives me immense pleasure. I don't bother about who may or may not read it, but I derive immense satisfaction in writing it. Cooking in the sweltering heat of Chennai also gave the same sense of satisfaction when I saw the spread on the table later! 

Migrating to the UK was another culinary exposure. Since I was the solo person in the kitchen ( a first! no room mate or mom or mil) I learnt stuff. I picked up dishes from all over India and started experimenting. K and my Indian palette never wavered much from our traditional Indian dishes though we tried the odd Italian, Mexican or African. We reserved those cuisine for outside dining. When kids came along with their taste accustomed to the European foods thanks to day care and school, we had to drag in some international items into the kitchen. 

All was fine and dandy, but there was one thing I couldn't do. I couldn't bake. I couldn't bake to save my life! Literally. When lock down happened, I felt brave and tried a no-bake tart first. It came out swell! Ahem, beginner's luck? The next step was a doughnut recipe from a channel BakeWithShivesh. That was a roaring success too. The kids loved it since I involved them. They loved watching the video and later making it. I was feeling brave. I was doing all this with weight measurements since I had a kitchen scale. But then I thought measuring cups would be handy. I got them and tried the Devil's food cake with a lot of anxiety. And it came out perfect! There was no stopping after that. From a non-baker, I evolved into one who owns a hand and mechanical whisk, a spring form baking pan, 2 normal ones to make layered cakes, muffin trays, and knows the difference between ganache and buttercream frosting and fresh cream  frosting and is also aware of  how to make them! :D 

Lock down make me find therapy in cooking! I have started making pickles and dry chutneys, nut butters and laddoos and a plethora of other items. I relish cooking so much that a regular complaint from K is "You are always in the kitchen"

Back to School - again

 The kids are back in school. This time as the PM claims, it is a one way street. So hopefully there will be no lockdown 3.0. 

Chiyaa and Pumpki were eagerly waiting for school to start. Such is the irony of schooling system in the UK where the kids actually look forward to going back! They were counting days to when school would start. Sunday they went to bed all enthusiastic about the next day. We were all set for school from ironed uniforms and book bags perspective since we expected schools to start as normal from January itself. 

But the next day did need a bit more preparation from our side. Since K has changed jobs, his new company needs him to be a bit more around calls and meetings since he is still coming to grips with the systems. This meant drop offs at school by him and pick ups by me. Pick ups by me  meant I had to wrap work pronto at 1500. Earlier I could sit through till 1600 ish depending on the flow of work. This meant the only way of getting a load of work done was to start work a bit earlier. This made my work start time around 6 in the morning. It is a big struggle waking up, but, there is no other option.

The kids got ready for school without a fuss. Pumpki seems to have matured over the months and there was absolutely no cribbing from her. While getting dressed she did mention to her sister "I will M.I.S.S.Y.O.U" Aww my heart just went out for the little one. They had had a lot of fun playing and watching television with each other. We  reassured her, that she would have much more fun with her friends. She will get to play outside a lot more. She was a bit teary eyed when she started for school, but eventually by the time she went into her classroom she was fine.

They both had a good day at school, while K and I missed them terribly. The house was quieter, cleaner and emptier. Their toys were still strewn all over the living room floor, but it was weird getting used to the lack of the two mischief makers. We were somehow going through the  motions of our working day. 

I had set up event in my calendar to notify me of the different classes  of Pumpki (I was in charge of Pumpki's classes) Last Friday I took special joy in deleting the recurring events. But then on Monday when I had one event pop up I nearly had tears in my eyes. 

Its been 4 days since the kids are back at school. It is again a new routine. Getting used to work during the time they are away and being 100% with them once they are back. It is different, but I must confess, though difficult, I thoroughly enjoyed having them around the past year. 

Same old but still feels new

Things are definitely crazy. How time goes from 6 in the morning to 10 at night still baffles me. Well not technically baffles me, I do know where it goes :D . There is first the couple of quiet hours when I am at total peace with my work. Some days are real productive while others are weird where I am stuck and just want anyone from my team to be up to troubleshoot. Coding is a lot of team work you see. 

Once the kids are up, its managing them and their school work. Again some days are a breeze where the kids are quite self sufficient. But other days which are oh so mad with me literally ripping the hair off my head! There are days when they are crazy noisy and I end up doing most of my work incorrectly. They end up getting a bit of a scolding, with a load of guilt on either sides :(  I hear Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! incessantly all through the day. It sure is maddening. But I love the lived in feeling of the house as well. The girls play in the living room and make a total mess. The house is littered with coloring equipment, paper, dolls and what not. I do not enjoy the million and one times the cleaning operation has to be undertaken. But it is lovely to see them living and making memories in this home. Kids leave the house a bit too soon with the inching away from parents happening early on. But now when I see them growing and changing literally 24/7, I feel an odd sense of satisfaction. I see the difference between last year and this. Chiyaa needed so much more monitoring a year ago. She is so much more independent now. She handles her classes by herself. We have taught her to take printouts and she has her own set up. She is all grown up chatting with her friends and sharing gifs. Its hilarious how they find the gifs so amusing and a bit annoying too when she spends that much time searching gifs :D Pumpki was not in school last year. But this time around she is. Managing her is harder, because she needs more help. Still it is endearing to see how her mind works and how she approaches her tasks at school. They are missing out on the social aspect a bit. As a person, I do not give a huge importance on that. Yeah unsocial me!

The multi tasking doesn't end. In the midst of calls, we have to act as technical support for the classes. In the midst of work, we have to answer demands for water, toilet, pencils, papers and a thousand things that kids can need. It is nerve wracking. There is not a moment of 100% concentration except the wee hours of the morning. But there is a strange pleasure in the relentless work too. Earlier there was the mad rush of getting out of the house, maneuvering the commute and dealing with people face to face. Now there is the mad rush trying to do many things at the same time. But somehow I prefer the latter mad rush. Being the unsocial loner that I am, I far more enjoy the craziness of my own family than deal with strangers. So though things are definitely busier, there is a strange sense of calm. 

I hope the kids cherish these memories. I know its so much harder for a lot of families. I count my blessings as I feel the comfort of being able to provide for my kids. I treasure how lucky I am that I can spend time with my children inside and outside the house without being burdened by financial or other worries. By the grace of God, our elders back home are also doing well which is reassuring. The disease will leave the face of the world changed. But as we are riding the storm, all I feel is gratitude.

How it unfolded

 August was the summer holidays so luckily Papa, Mummy ended up spending a lot of time with us. They were to depart from the UK on a Monday, so we had a Covid test booked for them for the Saturday. We went to the city centre to get the test done. After that, we had some food stuff to get for K from one of his favourite shop. As we made the trek, we bought a hummus and falafel wrap and some cakes from the shop. We ventured through the farmer's market and got a few veggies in the kitty too. It was very pleasant to be walking around with Papa Mummy, unbothered by the kids or other worries. I really felt like a child going to the market with her parents. 

Once back home, we had the finishing touches on the packing and weighing to be done. The evening was spent chatting and calling up friends and saying final goodbyes over Whatsapp video. 

Sunday was the big day. Mummy was in full form. She kneaded some flour, made dosa batter. She also made a truckload of pakoras. It reminded me of the time when she was posted in a different city from Papa, my sis and I. She used to come to us over holidays and before going back, she would cook at break neck speed. She would stash the fridge with curries and snacks. Some would even go bad eventually. But that never deterred her from working just as hard in stocking the fridge the next time she came.

She was very keen on going for her evening walk one last time. And I was very keen on going for one last evening walk with her. So as soon as the kids had their "TV time", the mother-daughter duo scooted off. Every time we went for a walk, like a child Mummy would ask me if we can go this way or that. And I would agree and we would end up finding a new way. On that day too we took a new route, went through some dilapidated buildings. Mummy said "One last time, I wanted to see all this scenery and etch this in my mind" We love talking about plants and flowers, gardens and houses during our walks. Beside her that evening, I wasnt sure when I was going to have the pleasure of her company again. 

The evening was jam packed. We finally received our Covid negative results. But it was not a smooth sailing. We received Papa's results, but not Mummy. What ensued was frantic calls to the clinic. We had paid a lot of money for the private tests. We were informed that the test had gone "missing". We still had time, but it was harrowing. Finally, 90 minutes later, we received the results. After that we had to fill in 1001 forms. First there was something with British Airways, then a form with New Delhi Airport, then a record with Air Suvidha, and exemption report with Air Suvidha and a gazillion other things. Papa Mummy had a kilo of documentation to carry each. Thank God we have a printer at home :D What came forth with all that documentation was a good amount of fear too. We hoped that all the paper work was in order. 

The next day, they started off at 0830 leaving tears in their eyes and ours. They had a long journey. They reached London from Manchester. They had an over night stay in a hotel there. We were very nervous about this, since London is not familiar territory. Given their age, they were also a bit nervous. Luckily, they approached someone who showed them the way to the hotel. The hotel was very comfortable and they had a much needed rest and internet connection. This resulted in calls to us and to my sister. 

A special mention to that little girl of mine. My sister knew that I would be a bit upset and hence kept on calling me sporadically. We were feeling very distraught. To keep our minds off the matter, we got some lunch from outside. Then we went for a good long walk in the nearby woods. It was a holiday for us, and I would not be wrong in saying, that it was a an awful day. 

The next day, Papa Mummy had their onward flight to New Delhi. After 11.5 hours they finally reached Matribhoomi! The quarantine exemption approval had been accepted by Delhi government and thankfully Papa Mummy had received the email during their stay in London. They were able to come through immigration quite quickly. They had a further 7 hour long wait for their domestic flight to Bhubaneswar. Finally after 60 hours of leaving their home in UK, they reached their home in Bhubaneswar. 

My sister had ordered most grocery and food stuffs online which had been delivered to our tenant. The house had been cleaned by our help the previous day. What had seemed very very harrowing, was luckily a smooth and peaceful journey. 

Parents are so annoying

 They leave and we are left with all the emptiness.

It is so weird to turn the intruder alarm off when I wake up in the morning, because for the past 8 and a half months Papa who used to wake around 5 was in charge of it. 

It is disconcerting to walk downstairs and find every room dark. Mummy who used to wake up next used to ensure that all the curtains were drawn back and the rooms were awash with light. If it was one of the chill mornings,she would also turn the heater on to get the rooms to just the right temperature.

Mummy would not even let me make my morning glass of warm water and cup of coffee. She would ask me to log in straight away and bring the two things to my desk. 

Papa had a keen eye on the weather and used to advise us which day would be best to do the laundry and put the clothes out for drying. Being the economically wise one, he didn't want us to waste electricity in running the tumble drier. 

Papa would clean vaccum the house every alternate day, clean the windows and even the toilets and bath once a week.

Mummy of course had taken over the kitchen.

K and I had time to go on runs on a weekend morning. We used to go grocery shopping together leaving the kids at home. All this was taken for granted and normal. 

We had immense help, even for childcare. But the most important thing we had was the vibes. 

There was a genuine feeling of love and warmth. There was a flow of conversation. Out of the blue we would start discussing politics or economics or people and relatives. We would play wordscapes which a word game or word search. Mummy would whip up delicacies just like that. Her uber simple cabbage curry or her decadent carrot halwa or the awesome jhal muri which is a dry and spicy version of bhel puri with hot ginger tea on rainy mornings without anyone asking for it - it was nothing but love. 

I made a trip to the supermarket yesterday and I had a blob in my throat when I saw a melon. Mummy and I would cut and much through an entire fruit in one afternoon with Pumpki joining in. As I went through the biscuits aisle I realised we wouldn't need rich tea biscuits for a long time. We don't eat them, but it was a regular when papa mummy were here. 

The house is cleaner now, since there is way less cooking and less people. The rooms are stark and empty. There is a coldness in everything. Everything reeks and smells of them. It is weird. We are going through the motions of living, but it feels weird. As if an important thread is missing. We are at a weird stage in life where our mental age is closer to our parents. So we understand them and I am sure they see themselves in us. It was a lovely stress free time that we had. We will take a while to recover and stop missing them. 

The planets had aligned

Papa simply wished to celebrate the birthday of his grand daughters. That was his plan for his trip to UK 2 years ago. He also harbored a secret desire to make a trip to the London Natural History Museum. He had plans to return in March 2020 after Chiyaa's birthday celebration in February. The day her birthday party was held, he said the words "What a great celebration! Now time for return " But! Man proposes God disposes eh? Come March and we know what hit the world :D All plans cancelled, including the tickets for London. Everything in the back burner and Papa and Mummy were slated to be here for a long run.

My sister teased them on the day the tickets were cancelled that, "Ah! you are going to stay for your birthdays too" Papa and Mummy have their birthdays in July. Sitting in April, July seemed a faraway time. Mummy was confident they would travel by the end of May when her tickets were scheduled. Well, everything was up in the air wasnt it. Including sweepstakes happening at work where people were betting on when we might return to work place.

April went and with it May. Things were a bit better in June but the lockdown was not going anywhere. Till the PM of Britain gave the news of "non-essential businesses" opening from the 4th of July. On Mummy's birthday! Yay! Not that we were going to do much! But still yay! This was the fourth time Mummy was with me for her birthday, since I got married. (My life after marriage is like a watershed moment for me ;) Its like Before Marriage and After Marriage :D ) She was in the UK one time to take care of Chiyaa since she was keeping very unwell. After that, I managed to be with her one other time, since I was in India for my second maternity leave following the birth of  Pumpki. Mummy again managed to be with me when she landed in Ipswich for her birthday, again to support us through the difficult time of K's job hunt. And this! This might be the last time she is around for her birthday, since we do not anticipate our parents coming in that frequently. The kids are growing up, making their own independent worlds. And our parents are aging too. I did not desire to go out and go shopping for a birthday gift for her. But how could I not gift her anything? So, we made something. I made the kids make drawings with acrylic paint on cups. It was very exciting especially for the little one to be engaged in this secret activity. We closed the door to a bedroom and got busy with our work. There was a moment where she had to step outside and had to get some stationery. Mummy happened to come across her and asked her what she was doing. That four year old little one lied through her teeth "We are exercising". Mummy asked where. She said "In mummy and daddy's room" When Mummy asked what exercise she was doing, she convincingly replied " Just normal exercise, press ups".

God that little one is dangerous! I clarified to Mummy that they were making cards in secret. The real special gift was a secret. Since Mummy is an avid walker, I decided to get some walking shoes for her. Now I am an absolute dud when it comes to making cakes. And the kids would not let me live if i did not order a cake on a birthday. But where would I get a cake from given the situation. I scoured the internet and came across some bakers. Some were not offering their services yet, some were super busy, some did not respond. God! I was reaching a road block. I found some online sites. But which one to trust. Finally I took a leap of faith and ordered from a place which guaranteed to send it by the date. Fingers crossed now.

Come her birthday, the kids were super excited. They did not want to wait at all. They ran into her room as soon they woke up and gave her the gifts. The joy on Mummy's face was beyond expression. We had plans for lunch from a takeaway. Once that was on the way, I got the cake. The cake was all right though a bit sweet. I decided to go for the same place for Papa and K's birthday which was 3 days away. 

Mummy was very glad at the end of the day since this was first time in ages that her birthday had been celebrated! The last time was a decade ago when her students from college had come in and surprised her. I felt very glad to be able to have her around me. 

I remembered that around the same time last year, I was hoping I could have my parents over for summer. Around the May-July time when it is really hot in India and quite pleasant here. But it needed some miracle of sorts to come true. There are no school holidays during that time and my parents would not like to be at home without the grandkids hovering around. They prefer even bearing the bone chilling winter, just because the children are around for Christmas holidays. So having them over for the English spring/summer was a far off dream. But you never know do you?! It was as if God just sat on my shoulder and heard my prayers. I will be eternally grateful to him for facilitating this for our family. Not only were my parents spared the Indian summer, they had the kids around too! Since March. It was a once in a lifetime event. The stars needed serious aligning for this to work. 

For this time and also for 7th July. The dual celebration of Papa and K's birthdays! I always bask in the fact that my two favourite men share the same birthday. I had them together for the first time ever. It was also the day when it was 10 years since I arrived in the UK. That morning I had bid a tearful bye to Papa after wishing him a very happy birthday. And in the evening I had landed in UK to wish him a happy birthday. Now in 2020, I was with both of them again, wishing them both a happy birthday. This seriously needed some supreme divine intervention. This was indeed again another once in a lifetime event. 

As the day wound to a close, the chapter of birthdays drawing to a finish, all I do was thank my lucky stars.

Coming out of it

The lockdown restrictions are going to be eased. It seems like yesterday now doesn't it when it all started. Shutting down. Some of things slowly, some of things suddenly. Our office for one, shut down with remarkable alacrity. We got a notice in the afternoon to pack up and go till further notice. The school and nursery were gentler, with a bit of prior notice.

Those were such uncertain initial days. I recall the "Christmassy" feeling. The schools were the last to close, allowing parents to work uninterrupted for as long as possible. I thought the schools would be the last to reopen - going by a last in last out policy. But it looks like schools will be the first to reopen, again allowing parents to resume work as quickly as possible. I am not very concerned about the health aspects of it. I think there are many much more qualified scientists, policy makers, doctors and educationists  who are way more well endowed for such decisions. For me, children are relatively low risk, so it might be fair to start schools first. The disease is here to stay, the idea was to avoid overwhelming the health care by the pandemic, which has been done more or less. Also we have to start somewhere. As I read in an article, "history will the judge of which country got it correct and how". So that is for a later date. 

On an aside, I never felt too worried about the disease per se. It's fatality and communication wasn't one to make me panic. I am more panicked by say a cholera or plague. Also people die of the flu as well. Being a pandemic, it could easily over whelm health care systems and result in preventable deaths. But that is the nature of anything related to diseases and a gamble we have every day. Anyways that is me. 

For now, June 1st is when things start kicking back to normal for our family. The nursery sent out a letter informing that they will be re-opening. That means Pumpki is definitely going back. It was a wonderful feeling having the kids at home. Though at times it was brain splitting-ly annoying, tiring, over whelming and a whole load of other negative emotions. But isn't parenting all about this superb roller coaster - the throes of joy and the chasms of despair? So though we found Pumpki tougher to manage, especially when Chiyaa had to do her school work, though we found it hard to manage two of them when they bickered and hoped for her to be a bit more "grown-up" and complaint, though we wished for it to all end - we actually did enjoy most of it. It was a different and special experience. 

Now when she will go back to nursery, we will miss her complains, her demands, her constant need for attention, her call for us to come and play with her. We will miss serving that extra bowl of food for her, having her set of demands, her clamouring for the very same toy or colouring pencil that Chiyaa has. We will rue waking her up, dropping her . But then she has to move on, go on with kids her age, play with kids her age and be back with her nursery teachers before she moves on to school in September.

Slowly we will have the emails trickling in about restart of schools and day cares. It seemed like forever, but it was a merely over a couple of months. I had moments when I was over whelmed. But I loved having the dining table full of papers, colouring sheets, pencils, crayons, dolls and of course the two work laptops. It was wonderful being all homed in. It was indeed a once in a lifetime opportunity. As an old advertisement went "Daag ache hain".

What's Normal

"This is the new normal" This term is being flung quite liberally. They say it takes 21 days for something to become a habit. It has been double the number of days. The locked down-ness is definitely more than the new normal. It is not even new any more.

There are a lot of people dealing with it in different ways. The home chefs with their Instagram worthy pictures of delicacies were a regular feed on my Facebook. It amazes me how people get the time to do all this?I for one started going proper crazy early. The home schooling was new. There was loads to do there. Pumpki - not yet in school - was a different challenge. She needed constant attention when Chiyaa was doing her tasks. It was quite difficult to manage that in the midst of work. I had no time to even read a book.

As a team member, I felt isolated. All the other team mates of mine got along fairly well. They were in similar personal circumstances which made it a bit easier for them to get along. They could get into impromptu calls as and when required, while it needed a bit more planning on my part. They were ever helpful, but their helpfulness made me feel over whelmed. There was a moment when I had a chat window and a teamie just asked "How's it going" and I had tears in my eyes. I was not doing very well emotionally.

There were personal challenges as well in terms of self control. There was the constant urge to snack upon something. This lead to an increase in mass of your truly. Which led to a decrease in morale and urge to eat just to feel better. It was a very vicious and unhealthy cycle.

But a good friend always says "this too shall pass". The work slowly dwindled to a steady pace or maybe I learnt to pace work. The kids got used to a new routine - the routine of the absence of a routine with still some method to all the madness. 

The children wake up later now, around 9 in the morning. As we blissfully work downstairs, they have matured within the span of these lock down days to finish their brushing and morning chores and come downstairs. It seems like yesterday that we used to be shrieking and shouting at them to use the washroom and brush their teeth after waking up. Chiyaa has been phenomenal in keeping Pumpki under control through the mornings. Breakfast is a hit or miss. Some days they are very plaint and go through it all without a hiccup. Other days, there is a lot of arm twisting - especially for Pumpki. They get busy with playing for some time, after which I take a break from work to do a couple of hours worth of school work with Chiyaa. This time is a bit tedious for Pumpki since she misses the company of her elder sister. Still mostly its under control. Post lunch, they have a few hours of play or television. On warmer days its a pure delight watching them go crazy in the garden. They play with flowers, leaves, mud, water - whatever comes their way. Luckily they are not at their wits end. Some evenings they do some home workouts with Joe Wicks who is the YouTube sensation with his workout videos. Again in remarkable maturity they have acquired over the past 7 weeks, they acquiesce to a bath and dinner mostly without a fuss most of the days. They play after dinner most days and Chiyaa does a bit more of her school work. Bed time has slowly moved from 2130 to 2230-2300. 

It is phenomenal the way the children have grown. They are increasingly self reliant. I feel for the parents who have younger children. It must be definitely very hard for them managing a million responsibilities of younger children along with work. Everyone is in a different boat of struggle and difficulty. Everyone's situation is unique and there is no comparative measure. A friend of mine has three children of school going age. On one hand things are easier for her since they are a bit grown up and can manage themselves with little adult supervision. On the other hand, she has three lots of school work to do which makes things very tedious. She does not have enough devices and has to use her work laptop to get some of the tasks done. Another friend has a 1 year old and a school going kid. It is very difficult to get any quiet time to get school work done. Yet another friend I know has two much younger children and there is the relentless cycle of feeding, changing, playing silly baby games for her.

I am sure everyone has their own set of struggles. We have greatly reduced venturing outside, which has brought an end to walks with kids and our runs. It is not too bad to be honest. Its safer to be inside. At least I have the weekly trip to the super market which gives me an excuse to step out of the house. My parents are with me which gives me the solace that they are well cared for without depending on others for their grocery and other stuff which would have been the case if they were back home. They pass through moments of boredom, but they make the best of what they have. 

These are definitely unprecedented times. We are living through, as the cliche goes, history. There will be definitive changes once we emerge from all of this. Here is hoping, each one gets the strength to go through their struggles. See you on the other side!

Barely sane

Ever since I took up my current role,I missed my working from home days of my previous job for a very long time. Acclimatization eventually kicked in and I grew used to going to work. Every. Single. Day. 

If the kids were ill the odd days,I used to take emergency family leaves at work.( We have 5 per year). I fell in love with the routine. Going to work clearly demarcated home and work. I could not imagine any other way.

Till three weeks ago, we were asked to start working from home in response to the corona virus pandemic. The first day was a Friday. Friday has a different feel to it! I love Fridays :) I loved being at home, being served tea by mom and generally doing work sitting on the dining table.

The next week was a bit different. I was in a dilemma. Since there was no office commute, sleeping a bit late was tempting. But then I had my internal routine which wanted me to log into work at 0800. Schools thankfully forced me to still rouse at a certain time and get going. The kids went to school and nursery, K to work and it was a bit of a relaxed sprint for me. I thought I would have time in the middle of the day to do my workouts and other such, but nothing of the sort happened. I was quite jealous of my other team mates (all of whom are single without kids!) who were able to carve out time for video games and Netflix!  There were informal meets where team mates hung around, solved online murder mysteries, crossword puzzles and the like. But I just had work :(

Things were escalating fast. The world was winding down to a halt and it was a matter of time before the schools would be closed and all who could work from home would work from home. There were no activities for kids over the weekend, no training over weekday evening. There was a sudden lull. The first weekend, we had spare time. But no idea how to use it. When we used to have the crazy whirlwind weekends, we used to savour the time when there was a holiday or off from regular classes. Now when we had unlimited off till the end of time, we found it weird. The weather was too bad to step out (the rigid measures were yet to be implemented). There is only so much TV time that was permissible to kids in the house. But there was only so much reading, colouring, playing with toys that children could do as well. It was new for everyone of us. Everyone was feeling funny at the new set up.

We were made aware that children would be "home schooled" going forward. This was not equivalent to virtual classes. They were to be sent tasks and parents had to be the teachers. Guiding them, teaching them. In our house, both parents had to do their day job as well! To make matters worse, the schools had not streamlined their way of giving tasks (they did not have time! They were given maybe 2-3 days to prepare.) There were different sources through which work came. The worksheets were ill formed. Some didnt print fine, some tasks didnt get submitted ok. There were enormous technical glitches since some of the sites had a 500% increase in traffic! We had to be IT support along with supporting our IT tasks. With work, schooling issues, and Pumpki being younger and needing entertainment we were mega stressed. 

We enlisted the services of Chiyaa to keep Pumpki entertained. Since she had her elder sis at home, she constantly wanted to play with her. Chiyaa also was tempted to play with her (Which kid wants to study when her sibling is having fun!)  But Chiyaa also had her school work to complete. If she had a normal school day of 5 hours or so, it would have been ok and well spaced. But since she did not have that and we had no way of enforcing that, even Chiyaa had to stay up after Pumpki went to bed to finish her school work. It was not ideal, but there was no other way. Luckily, being someone who wants to put her best foot forward, she always gave her 100% when it came to doing her tasks. Touchwood.

I was not able to give my fullest at work and even said the same to my manager. Luckily (inspite of not having kids of her own) she was very understanding. She assured me that I needed to give the situation more time to settle down. A week, even two wasnt enough for a semblance of routine to come through in these times. And she reiterated that she had full trust in me. The definitely relieved me. One day at a time. Not someone who likes pending tasks, I started staying up late and working over the weekend to get the pending chunks of work done. I did not like it. But I did not have any other way. 

Friday, end of week 1 of school closures, I checked with a few other moms on how they were faring. Most were in the same boat and barely sane. They had not been more stressed ever. One of the moms shared that one of her colleagues woke at 5 to finish the work before kids were up! This made perfect sense to me. Kids' sleep time can be flaky, but they dont tend to wake up before a certain time. In my case its 0730 at the minimum. Waking up early is not my forte since I am not a morning person at all. But then desperate times call for desperate measures. So I moved my wake up time to the 5-0530 am zone. By the time the kids arose which was around 0830-0900, I ended up having 2.5 to 3 hours to nice peaceful work.Once kids were around, there was the usual scurrying with them. Their studies, activities and the lot. As soon as I finished work, I made time for the mandatory walk to get some fresh air, even if it was for 30 minutes only. After their evening chores were over, there was still a bit of pending work to catch up on. Factoring in reading and a bit of stretches and its midnight most of the days by the time I called it a day.

I feel stressed on many days and over worked too. But I am sure I will get used to it eventually. All this will seem like the new normal. The challenge after that would be getting back to going to work!!! 

Silver Linings

I always look forward to and love the stay of my parents at home. The current stint has been extra special. We of course had all the birthdays and anniversaries to celebrate. My parents love seeing their grand daughters in action. They come over to watch their swim lessons. They accompany them to karate tournaments. They come over for school functions and events. The girls love showing off to their tubi and aja. (Tubi  is a customized name given by Chiyaa to my mom and aja is the Odia for maternal grandfather)

The blissful months in their merry companionship was going at break neck speed for me. I feel sad when I think that Papa will be returning in a month. When I say the same to anyone else they are “they have been here since ages!” Well relativity. I cannot have enough of their company. I love seeing how they just bask in the company of the kids. Chiyaa comes and just plop lands on Papa’s lap. Pumpki keeps chatting incessantly J My work is quite packed and I have reserved my holidays for the breaks from school. I was ruing not being able to spend enough time with my parents.

A weird twist of fate came in the shape of the Corona virus pandemic. Our company declared “mandatory work from home till further notice”. For me the first thought was “I can be around Papa mummy!”Working from home after 1.5 years was a novel experience in itself. Remember Ipswich days? I used to love working from home and dreaded going back to office. It was kind of the other way around here. I missed getting dressed and the rush of stepping out of home at 0730. The demands of family changed in a day. K wanted me to cook his oats or give the egg omlette. Chiyaa wanted me to brush her teeth (on second thoughts I offered because I love babying her J ) Pumpki had her hair done by me which I oh so enjoyed! I had done it so infrequently for her. Pumpki returned home around 1. Though I was in another room, I could hear her pitter patter. It was real funny and cute!  I generally start work by 0815 but now the time moved to 0830 after the kids started. It did annoy the side of me which is a stickler to time – but small price. Once the house was quiet, I had mummy bringing me a cup of ginger tea! Once my calls were done, she would step in and discuss something, some family politics, international politics, benefits of yoga, work life balance or just anything under the sun. Papa would also similarly come over and discuss something. It is a blissful feeling to be able to work and also be with touch with them.

We are to be in this work from home state for a month. I am getting habituated to this new “work life balance” J