Yours thankfully :)

 I turned a year older. Not that it matters. But the day is made so special by people who love me that I can only thank God.

It started with Chiyaa taking the responsibility to bake a cake. As I have said, we love the channel Bake with Shivesh and his Devil's food Cake. She took the full ownership to check the recipe and mix the ingredients while taking minor guidance from me. It was amazing to see her so committed to the effort. Pumpki was not so keen on it initially. But then enthusiasm like all emotions is contagious. She too joined in and the end result was an amazing, luscious cake! On my birthday, breakfast was cake! What can be more awesome than that for a child 

K and I had the day off. We have realised that the city centre is a 5.5 km walk from our home. For his birthday we had walked the distance and rewarded ourselves with a Japanese buffet. We decided to do a repeat this year. It was a bit hard to walk in the 0 degrees temperature, loaded with heavy jacket and scarves and hats and what not. But we still managed it.  The buffet was super satisfying and I must say I am so so in love with Japanese food!

Food done, we did some window shopping and took in the sights of the Christmas decorations. There were a lot of tempting options, but then we moved on with promises to come back and shop at leisure some other day. Because school pick ups beckoned. 

We had plans to go for an ice skating session at a nearby mall. We went all geared up. And my God! were we awful at it. The kids fell and I had to control my laughter and pick them up, all the while making sure that I did not fall! There were some tears of frustration from the kids for sure, but I will applaud them for taking it on their chin and trying their best. They even managed to stand and take a few steps without help. For the first attempt I would say it was amazing! I on the contrary was determined not to FALL on my birthday. So I clung on to the side railings as if my dear life depended on it. I kept going sssssslide quite some time and on the verge of falling on my backside, but then my arm strength worked. And I was able to cling to the side walls without a fall. After a bitter sweet experience, we have decided to go for skating lessons nearby :) 

End of session, we re-fuelled ourselves and then called it a day. A day of sweet nothings. A day full of love from family and a lovely set of friends who keep me in their thoughts. I could not be more thankful. 

Been 2 months or is it 2 years?

 Both. 2 months since I last posted. There was nothing sensational to post. Life went on in its own merry pace which is what we need now is'nt it? The pandemic is more or less a thing of the past. And while that holds true, another thing of the past is the back. GOING BACK TO OFFICE. It has been over 2 years since we went to work. And on 21st March, we were summoned back. 

I hated any conversation about going back to work. I loved my work place which was bang in the middle of the city. I used to have monthly lunch dates with K which I loved. Over the pandemic, my company gave up the lease of the office space and took up one with a subsidiary. Now this place in in the middle of nowhere. It is a dry office building. And I dislike the commute which will force me to drive every day. No more reading a  book while commuting to work. Also I had built my life around working from home. I did the pick ups. I was there when the kids were back. We were able to extend their after school activities. All that would change. I started looking for jobs, fully remote ones. I did manage an offer but the remuneration was not what I was after, so I had to decline it. 

The anticipation of returning to work was horrible for me. I could not imagine the rush of dashing through the morning. My mornings after some quiet time at work involve running behind the girls, plaiting their hair and getting their breakfast sorted. But things would be different once at work. I was full of a weird trepidation. Like I used to feel when I used to come home on vacation from my college hostel. I would keep counting my days of pure bliss. And as the time to go back to hostel came closer I would be filled with dread. It was similar now. As the day came closer, I felt weird and uncomfortable.

But anyways the day came! I woke before time. Finished my morning chores and got Chiyaa's braid done. I was about to get started with Pumpki, but K stepped in and said that he would do it. I started off to work. My drive was smooth (beginner's luck). I got a bit lost in the office floor where I could'nt find where I was supposed to sit. But otherwise it was all right. 

Lets see how I keep finding this "newest normal".

First fight

 I might have mentioned around this place that I learn Karate. In Karate I am more keen on the poses and techniques which are called kata. I never participate in any fighting since, well I am not a fighter. I am an escapist. I will avoid an uncomfortable situation instead of facing it. I  will play it safe instead of landing in a situation where I might need to fight. But the fighting and self defense aspect is the major reason why I have my kids and myself enrolled for Karate in the first place. I always encourage the girls to opt for fighting when the teacher asks - the Kumite aspect of Karate. 

Since we had social distancing removed on the 19th of July, we could practice fights. The teacher is very democratic and asks in class what we might want to do. Last Friday during training, she gave the option "Adults who want to practice ground fighting come onto this side." I was standing smug on the other side. When one of the teachers cheered me "come on pick ground fighting" I thought, well, how bad it could be? They are all civilised people. :D 

The teachers showed us some technique of ground fighting. The main aim of the game was to pin your opponent for 10 seconds or make them feel pain that they ask to stop the fight. There was just one other lady, so I had no other option but to fight her. She was a black belt- sensei. She knew way more techniques and grips and arm locks and even nerve chokes than me. I am still a "low belt" who knows basics. I shot a prayer to Gannu Bhaiya with a simple request " Dont humiliate me. Be with me". 

We sat back to back, ready for our fight. As soon as the "fight" command came, we turned to face each other. I had it in my head, that I wouldn't be pinned down. Cos during the demonstrations, I realised, coming out of a pin was not going to be easy. I made the first move and pinned her. But of course my opponent put up a fight. She tried to press some nerves on my neck and shoulder. I was not going to let my 70 kg weight go for waste (she was smaller than me) At that time, I heard the other adults cheering her (They were all higher belts, and of course cheered for their peer who was being pinned by a junior) That made me even more determined to just not give up. I pinned her shoulders even more. She was quite good at wriggling (which did not make me the winner) But I kept at it. 

At that moment, the main teacher came to our area and she shouted "Amrita use whatever you can to choke her" I was like yeah! Why was I thinking I cant just plain choke her just because I havent been taught? I have seen enough movies! I tried, but by that time we were nearing the end of the session. 

I fought her again, and it was more or less an action replay. Papa who played sports back in the day and quite a sports enthusiast used to say "Attack is the best form of defense" And his words just rung in my ears. 

The main teacher did praise my attack. She said, I started quite docile, but fought well :) That was high praise indeed. The next morning I woke to a mild shoulder pain and lots of scratches on my neck. I will not say I enjoyed it. I dont like confrontation. I am not competitive. It was quite a primal and raw feeling. But maybe I will try it again :)

Rasode main kaun hai

 Yours truly, aur kaun. :D

My kitchen journey is that of a typical 80s girl. I didn't cook as a kid cos Mummy was there. In spite of having a full time job, she never asked and in fact abhorred any help in the kitchen :) She used to work in her own pace and style. When mummy was transferred to another location and sis and I were living with Papa, I was forced to pick up one key cooking skill. Making tea! I was probably 13 years old then and quickly came to grips with the process of making tea. And I started making the most amazing teas! So much so that even if Papa had the time, he would ask me to make tea. The evening chai with a big serving of Milk Bikis and Thin Arrowroot biscuits was standard practice for us three. When mummy used to come on her holidays, she used to be shocked at the full mug fulls of teas we kids used to have. But the love for chai has stayed on with my sister and I. So much so, till date there is a debate who makes the better tea :D her or me :D . (Its me!) I can write a whole post on tea itself and my love for it. I have lived with many tea lovers during my adult life. I had a room mate who used to claim "any time is tea time". I did not have a pleasant stay with her, but somehow having the morning cup of tea before starting to work and the evening cup once back were the moments of peace and weird calm. I also lived with a bunch of Delhi girls once upon a time, who were ace tea makers too. But I cannot talk about tea without mentioning roomie dear who used to make a killer tea.  Every morning a really quiet but super recharging walk, followed by hot parathas  with an unhealthy portion of butter, a cup of tea and The Time of India shared between us. We never needed any retreat. We started every day as if we were in a retreat. Some of the very best mornings of my life!

The knowledge of making coffee kinda grew as a lateral learning. There was some science to boiling the milk to the right extent and pouring it in a certain way to get the right amount of froth. There was also the measure of coffee to make it "light" or "strong". Marrying into a Tamil household opened my eyes to coffee. Its a ritual. I am not ritualistic. But the taste of fresh ground coffee, that is something that words cannot describe. I embraced coffee drinking with as much passion as tea. And I managed to introduce "real" tea in the our circle. The proper tea ;) with ginger, little bit of cardamom, the right amount of sugar, tea, milk and water. Its heaven in a cup! 

Tea, coffee aside, I cooked only for survival before marriage. Cooking when it was my "turn" to cook or when the lady who cooked didn't turn up.  In fact, when K spoke to my mother for the first time, she even mentioned "Amrita cant cook". K replied "She will learn" I chuckled "hah dream on". I thought I was one of those girls, who couldn't and wouldn't cook. Cooking wasn't cool.

Entering a partnership with a foodie changes stuff. Rather entering a partnership with a man changes stuff for a woman. Cos most men value food. They may have different tastes, but I haven't met a man who doesn't place food in the higher echelons in terms of priority ;) kuch bhi bana do is not really kuch bhi bano do :) 

After marriage along with bringing in the delicacy of tea, I also brought in matar paneer, gobi aloo, kadhi, stuffed parathas and vegetables such as pointed gourd, red spinach and Malabar spinach. I also had to imbibe the fair share of kootu, avial and a wide variety of rice dishes. I never fancied myself as a cook, but cooking equated creating. And I am one who loves seeing a tangible output. This post for instance is an output of my thoughts and gives me immense pleasure. I don't bother about who may or may not read it, but I derive immense satisfaction in writing it. Cooking in the sweltering heat of Chennai also gave the same sense of satisfaction when I saw the spread on the table later! 

Migrating to the UK was another culinary exposure. Since I was the solo person in the kitchen ( a first! no room mate or mom or mil) I learnt stuff. I picked up dishes from all over India and started experimenting. K and my Indian palette never wavered much from our traditional Indian dishes though we tried the odd Italian, Mexican or African. We reserved those cuisine for outside dining. When kids came along with their taste accustomed to the European foods thanks to day care and school, we had to drag in some international items into the kitchen. 

All was fine and dandy, but there was one thing I couldn't do. I couldn't bake. I couldn't bake to save my life! Literally. When lock down happened, I felt brave and tried a no-bake tart first. It came out swell! Ahem, beginner's luck? The next step was a doughnut recipe from a channel BakeWithShivesh. That was a roaring success too. The kids loved it since I involved them. They loved watching the video and later making it. I was feeling brave. I was doing all this with weight measurements since I had a kitchen scale. But then I thought measuring cups would be handy. I got them and tried the Devil's food cake with a lot of anxiety. And it came out perfect! There was no stopping after that. From a non-baker, I evolved into one who owns a hand and mechanical whisk, a spring form baking pan, 2 normal ones to make layered cakes, muffin trays, and knows the difference between ganache and buttercream frosting and fresh cream  frosting and is also aware of  how to make them! :D 

Lock down make me find therapy in cooking! I have started making pickles and dry chutneys, nut butters and laddoos and a plethora of other items. I relish cooking so much that a regular complaint from K is "You are always in the kitchen"

Budhapa

 The title of the post is a Hindi word which means "Old age".

I certainly believe that age is a number in side our head. If we attach it to ourselves, we start acting it . And acting it as per stereotypes set by society is not something I believe in. But there are some aspects where I can genuinely feel the encroachment of age. Let me elaborate :)

I remember in standard 8 chatting with my best friend. We were both die hard movie buffs. And we got chatting how our parents did not watch many movies. It seemed out right ridiculous. We were like "Never can we ever not be watching movies!". But I reached that stage some 5 years back. Chiyaa's birth drastically reduced my screen time. I was left with a lot of time to read, when I fed her or tried to put her to sleep. So the reading hours notched up. The interest in movies and tele-series waned. Movies were a major setback since there was just no change of watching any in a single installment. Watching them over multiple installments simply ruined the fun of them. The only movies that held some sway were the Avengers ones. K and I used to book holidays to watch them, and superhero movies are a big hit for me. But otherwise movies are a big no for me. I have caught up with my parents and cannot and do not watch movies any more. In fact I have pretty much given up on all sorts of television shows. This has given me the opportunity to devour numerous books which is a far better engagement I feel.

As an aside I will contradict myself by stating that last week I watched a simply awesome movie called Is Love Enough, Sir? It is a very heart touching and short movie. Definitely worth a watch. It has moved me so much, that I might do a separate post on it.

Right, so that is one thing that is definitely a tick against old age criteria, apart from the obvious physical ones like grey hair and reduced metabolism. Another change that totally utterly baffles me is - I am changing into a morning person!! I was totally a night owl. In fact in one of my older posts I do claim night to be the best time of the day for me. Not any more!! The lockdowns have a bit to do with this. To get some quiet time I used to wake up earlier than my usual time. This has become sort of a habit now. Anything later than 0615 feels like late to me! I have to be downstairs with my coffee by 0630 else I feel like I am running really late. So much so that over the weekends too, I somehow have a sleep disruption around 7 ish. Some weekend mornings I do end up waking up at 0730! I just drag the sleeping hours to get the "weekend feel". But I wake up and all my morning chores are over by 1030! That is definitely not something my younger self would have done. Again I would take it as a positive change.

So for now status check is on balance! I have two obvious negatives : reduced metabolism and greying hair. And two very effective positives : time for books and turning into a morning person. Watch this space as the clock ticks further :) 

Mission accomplished

 Maine fir blog maata se mannat mangi thi, yeah kaam sahi salamat kar loon to ek post zaroor likhoongi.

So I had decided I would write a post if I was successful in a venture of mine like I was here. 

Now back to the story. I had a problem since the past 3 weeks. It all started when in a frenzy of being healthy I did a nice and big sumo squat. Something like that 

Now, that messed my left knee. It ached that evening, and I thought it was because of the exercise and would get better in a few days. There was the usual application of pain relief balms. Over the week, the pain got better and I started regular exercising again, though nothing that would impact the knee. All was well, though there was a slight lingering pain which needed regular application of pain relief. Then a week on, the pain was back. Really back. I started popping a few painkillers. But going up and down the stairs was proving really painful. I was not able to put any pressure on my left knee at all. I developed a deep empathy for older people. I have seen how Amma and Mummy climb up and down the stairs with baby steps. And I could finally, totally get their pain! 

Even sleeping and turning at night got painful. Apparently I was groaning in pain at nights. Finally I decided to visit the doctor. She saw the swell in the knee and recommended an MRI scan. I was fine for it. That night, the pain was just horrendous. Think that sent a shock wave to my brain which remembered to take an Ibuprofen which is a more powerful painkiller and also an anti-inflammatory. I popped a pill. And I was pain free the next morning! After 3 WEEKS! I felt absolutely no pain in my left knee. (OK a very teensy bit if I paid ultimate attention :D)

With this came the next question - should I now go for MRI? It would be a waste of time and precious medical resources. But there was a more important aspect. 

Part 2 of the story. I am scared of driving. I can drive confidently. But more of the itsy bitsy ones - school runs, swimming classes, nearby mall. But the heavy duty stuff - drive to the sea side, go for an appointment in another city etc etc, I start shi*ting bricks. Please excuse my French. Mostly I am accompanied by K. Dont get me wrong, I have driven to sea-side holidays and appointments to a different city. But I am scared. And in instances when I am super scared I just take the cab. In this instance too, I was keen to take a cab. But it would be quite a ride and for a now non-existent pain, it would be quite an expense. K was super confident that I would be able to manage, given my "experience" and his assessment of me. But I was super scared. This was the major reason, I was keen on backing out of the appointment.

But then I remembered an old advertisement dar ke aage jeet hai :D (There is victory beyond fear) In proper movie-style I replayed the numerous instances I had driven, the times K had commended my driving, the "ok" feeling once I was beyond the steering wheel. Yes I was still rubbish at reading maps and following directions on the navigator, but then, if not now then when. K assured me "Dont worry you wont crash and burn". 

I had a thought, what if  I did. Mere chote chote bacche! But if not now then when? Thats when I took the pledge to write a post. And that was my motivation to go for it! 

Since I am writing this post, reader might have guessed that I did not "crash and burn" :D It was a jolly good ride, though I was sh*ting bricks. But till next time, I feel awfully confident! 

What broke?

 I start work early. The house is dark when I clamber down the steps to our home-office. I put on a little light in the kitchen, get my glass of hot water and coffee and I am set for the next 1.5 hour-ish before the kids wake up. 

A few days back, I woke up and went into the kitchen. There were a few vessels which were next to the sink, left for drying. As the kettle boiled the water, I thought it would be a good idea to keep the dried vessels inside the cupboards. I went about doing it. I have a glass cutting board. As I was going to keep it away it fell down. With a big crash! I was devastated and my first thought was Gosh! Now all the cleaning of the glass! I put on the bigger light of the kitchen. I picked up the cutting board from the floor. It did not have a scratch. But I was sure I heard a big crash sound, the resouding sound of glass breaking. So what broke?

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I anyways picked up the cutting board. I managed a side ways glance. And I saw the door of the washing machine broken. Pic for proof. 

How did the cutting board manage to make a sideways kick to the washing machine (which is just under the kitchen work place) is beyond me. How did it manage to survive without a scratch is also beyond me.

I worried about the replacement and the response of K! But! Thankfully K was more intrigued by the quirk of the incident to be angry :D Some laws of physics are beyond us mere software professionals :D

Missing and I

No I do not have a mutt named "missing" - this is more about the verb "missing". I think missing is one of my pastimes. I miss many things, people, hobbies, activities, places, soaps, old times - many many things. K used to say I collectively miss stuff. Yea maybe there is some truth in there.

The silliest thing I did in this respect was during my summer internship. That time we were 3 very good friends doing our internship in Delhi. We had one HELL of a time there. I will remember those 45 as one of the mosssssssssssst BEAUTIFUL times A, B and I spent. Sometime maybe I should put a post about our adventures in detail. And when we were finally to wrap up stuff and leave, A and B were travelling by a train at 1400 hours for which they had to leave home at 1200 and I was travelling by a train at 1800 hours for which I was to leave home at 1600 hours. I was to be "alone" for 4 hours. And I cant explain how muchhhhhhh I have cried. And not just me, A and B cried tons too - missing each other, missing the time spent there, missing our shopping sprees , missing our crushes ( 3 of us managed to have crushes ;) ) and God knows what all. And we were crying as if the world was breaking apart while in another 2 weeks time we had to get back to the same college and spend one more good year together :) Heights of silliness- you bet :)

When I used to stay in hostel during my graduation days, I used to start missing home 2 days before I left home back for the hostel. I would eat meals as if I was to be forced into starvation after some days. I would see the delicacies made by mom and morosely state - this is the last time I am having matar paneer. My sis would yell saying cmon you are not going to die, why make a big deal of everything? But then me being the typical me, would mull and sulk over every single thing. That would be the case every single time during my trips from home to hostel and went forward even when I got working.

During my working days when I used to stay in an apartment with other folks from the same field, I saw a lot of transitions. As is in vogue in software culture, I saw a lot of people moving in and moving out of the apartment. And boy o boy, if someone close to me was moving out, I would be too sad. I would imagine, how lonely I would be without the person, how I would miss my friend and I would go on and on thinking about all the good times.For that matter, when I moved out of Hyderabad (a place I louve and miss till date :D ) to be with K, I missed my roomies sooo much. I remember stepping into the house and K giving me the biggest bear hug in the world and I started wailing! He was aghast! Then mega pissed when I said I am missing my roomie :) I think I called her many times and only when she said she was shopping in Charminar that I felt relieved and better. We both have moved on a lot, and I still do miss her a lot :) :)

Even before making my trips to Bbsr to my parents place, I would start missing K and my colleagues and lunch mates!! some 3-4 days before :) Yes yes, silly again , but then thats typically me. So one can imagine with this streak what a ruckus I might have raised before K was slated to leave India. I used to miss him so much before he started. I would miss him and cry silently and then gradually increase the decibel level :) K being K would start at his comforting best but then would go on to being peeved and then the pitch would increase to pure lambasting. Even now there are pangs when I miss him a lot. But then its not as bad as I had imagined it to be. I have no idea when I can see him again, it can be something as close to 3 months and as far as a year. But one thing I am very certain of, this phase will teach me a lot- like all difficult times have. I will be conditioned to face many more ravages that life and time might throw.

Verdicts

These are some of the comments I have received from friends and family about myself:-

1. Your bag has everything but the kitchen sink
2. How many times do I have to remind you that you are an adult
3. Don't answer a question with another question
4. You are such a bholu (modified version of bhola which means innocent in Hindi). You feel every one in the world is nice
5. If you would have been in front of me and said this I swear I would have slapped you (*Hahaha*)
   
6. I prefer you in western formals than Indian wear. In westerns you look like a fundoo MBA grad :D (Don't I love this line)
7. Your complexion has the translucence which reminds me of Julianne Moore (My best friend said this.. I dunno whether she was giving me an ego massage.. But I simply love this remark )
8. Your faith in God gives me faith in Him
9. No matter what, Cherrie always keeps her bathroom and her cupboards clean.
   
10. Maths is not your cup of tea(This was said long ago.. But somehow this remark has stayed with me..)
11. (My roomie said this) My roomie never says no to anything I ask. Thats why I like her so much. :)
    
12. You are my pillar of strength.