Wrecked and Ravaged

Thursday 17th April: -
Day 1 - I started the day sneezing and wheezing. Blame it on the fact that the ac was on the whole night and me being so susceptible to cold, had to contract it. But I put on a brave front, popped a cetrizin and waddled to office. At office I was fine for some time, but then suddenly felt the ac temperature was a bit too low. And at 1400 hours a sneezathon started. Within an hour I was having a numbing pain through my body, and a tingling sensation from the roots of the hair to the tips of the toes. Thats when I realised Oh! Boy!! I was getting a fever.

I wrapped my work ASAP (That was the penultimate day for tax declaration and some more mumbo jumbo one is supposed to do in beginning of the fiscal year. How I hate the beginnings and ending of fiscals years. Grrrrrr) and scurried home. At home I had a warm cup of tea and hit the bed with my best friend (Amrutanjan :) )

That night I had a very high temperature and survived on 2 crocins.

Day 2 - Morning I did not have fever and woke at 8 to bid K goodbye as he was leaving for office. Since I had not slept well the night before I decided to take the day off. And as K was leaving Wham!!!!! I fainted and had a 5 feet 5 inches free fall. I was picked up by K, the maid and my mom in law and conciousness was restored. Then I slumped on the bed and slept off. K took the day off.

Evening, once the outside temperature was a bit bearable, we both went to see a doc.

The doctor was a well reco-ed one so my expectations were all the more from him. We went inside, he took my BP!! Peered into my throat - "Throat is very bad" He croacked. And decreed - "You have viral fever. Dolo 650, Allegra, Becosules and Azethomycin. You will be fine in 4-5 days. If any problem is there you can visit me. But I think there is no other cure but for you to bear it. "

I was so DISGUSTED. He gave scant regard to a person with some 104 degrees temperature!! And what the blooooooody hell of there is no cure and you have to bear. Why did we pay you those 100 bucks?

Anyways we came home and I tried to have some food and retired to sleep early on.

Day 3 - Saturday no let up by the fever. I spent the whole long day sleeping. K and I had plans to go for a movie the weekend :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

K starts sneezing by the evening.

And....... Night I had terribly high temperature. I shivered a lot. :( :-S

Day 4 - I called up my uncle who is a doc in Apollo Hyderabad and oldhim the symptoms and whats going on. He was like see if this is viral, started on Thursday, its already been 4 days, 2 more days and by Tuesday you should be on the move. But I would suggest you get an MP(Malaria Parasite) Test done. I was like God Blessssssssssssss You!

Day 5 - Its Monday. Poor K takes leave for me. He takes a limping me to the Malaria Centre. They draw blood. And tell the results will b out at 1500 hours. I limp back home with hubby. And fall asleep flat with a temperature that could makes chickens hatch :-S

1500 hours results come. MP Test Negative. I dunno whether to the relieved or be sad.

So we decide to pay a visit to our good old doctor.

And this time he greets us with a smile and says ," Maa listen, this is how it is. You have to be positive. Once you start thinking negative that is when things start turning bad. I dunno why there are so many cases of this fever now a days. May be something to do with our changed lifestyles and polluted environment. Do these tests and come back tomorrow."

All the while I was seething inside listening to his sermons on Art of Living. I wanted to strangle him to death with his own stethoscope. &^%&%^%

Gave a quintal more blood for some more bloody tests. (It was MP Test again and a haemoglobin count test)

That night I wear 2 sweaters, take a thick blanket, switch off the fan :-( All this in the heat of Chennai- Still my teeth clatter. A dread ful night.

Day 6 - Since I am so ravaged with fever, I called uncle again. Uncle this time asked me to take the Typhoid test (At least he makes me take some decent tests not a damn Haemoglobin count test. Btw my haemoglobin count comes as pretty low in the test and Dr Dear asks me to come with my husband and meet him in the evening. I mentally mouth profanities and keep the phone.)

Then uncle states, now a days malaria aint getting detected that easy. So if the fever does not subside by tomorrow and the typhoid test is negative, we will start the dosage of quinine. It has no side effects, but you have to take it on a full stomach else the blood sugar level might drop.

Day 7 -7 days of full blown fever. 0700 hours. Typhoid test - Negative.

I started quinine dosage at night.

And that night I felt as if I was being exorcised. I had such a high temperature that I had a cold towel over my forehead. After one hour, the temperature started coming down. Then I felt my heart beat rate increased enormously. :-S And I was hyper ventilating. I lay on my stomach to stop the pounding of my heart. All this while I was wondering if my stomach was full enough before I took the medicine. And I was thinking may be I should have asked my uncle the symptoms of dripping blood sugar, for God forbid, if this was it :-S I am done for :-S. Then after 20 minutes of absolute agony, I broke into a nice sweat. I sweated as if I was in a sauna. And I sweated and sweated and sweated and finally slept......

Day 8 - Fever was at a manageable 100 degrees. Uncle told, it should be done with by Friday. That is tomorrow. In case not - We have to get you admitted in a Biiiiiiiiig hospital with Biiiiiiiig instruments and Biiiiiiiig Doctors and Biiiiiiiiig tests :-S That is exactly how he said it. And I prayed to God fervently that I better get well sssssssssssssssssssoooonnnnnnn.

But he said, it must have been Malaria cos no other parasite responds to Quinine. So since the fever has gone down due to quinine its proved it was malaria which was not being detected.

Oh! How I adore a logical explanation!!

Day 9 - Hmm feeling much better, I was singing praises of my uncle and cursing that God forsaken Chennai doctor every moment. And one of my friends told me that day was World Malaria Day :

Day 10- I am able to get up and move around :D :D :D :D

I make the masala, K makes the dosa and we eat happily ever after :D :D :D :D

Day 11 - I make food again. And evening we even go out to the beach !!!!!!! We start from home at 1730 hours, spend some time on the beach with K 's uncles family, then we take a walk, have some tit bits @ Barista, do some shopping and come home at 2100 hours!! That was the longest duration I was off a bed and outside after eonssssssssssss.

Day 12 - I am in office. In front of a machine finally typing all this :D ;)

Why do these tears come

I had read it somewhere, "..if everything is fine, then why do these tears come?" Wish I could remember where I had read it. I would love to revisit the book to find why the writer had said so. Because that is how I feel now a days. I should thank God for many things, for so many things he has just like that bestowed on me. I am happy for them but then out of no reason - I get the tears. As I am listening to a song, I get reminded of friends, of old times, of fun with them. When I see K in splits when talking to his friends, I get reminded of how we could laugh as if there was no tomorrow. How the jokes would just keep flowing in a restaurant with the people on other tables staring at a group of raucous girls. We would give two hoots to 'what others might think'.

I am not able to figure it out that what is the real problem.

Is it because I don't have work in office that I am whimsical and cranky?

Or is it because the new life is still rattling me? Is it that I would still prefer coming back from office, enjoy a cup of tea and talk with my friends about their day in office, cool dudes that we happened to meet, pull some ones leg just for the heck of it, make a couple of phone calls and then retire for the day. Rather than having to face the numerous responsibilities that come with making a home. I am not averse to taking responsibilities for sure. I in fact love setting things right. But maybe I want the variety that comes with staying with friends.

Or is it because I have some expectations set from my better half, which I would very well get from my best friend but I am not getting from him? Raaji had rightly said in her blog that Men are not the type to take hints. (http://raajii.blogspot.com/2008/03/men.html) But then I also get tired of saying it out aloud all the time. Some times I prefer if the unsaid is given credence to. Anyways, its the thing about men and women that makes the world go round and round for sure.

And as I am in this turmoil, one thing is for sure. I miss my old life like hell. I miss being at home and being pampered to no end by my mom. I miss cracking those jokes with my sis and pulling my daddy dears legs. I miss being with my own set of friends.

All these combined together end in these tears.

And that too in the weirdest of moments. As I lie on the bed and sleep takes a tad longer to come, I suddenly feel a tear trickle down. Suddenly I am reminded of my very last night at Hyderabad, when I was thinking, how there was going to be an irreversible change from the next day, for me and for some of my friends as well.

As K the baby of the house, comes back home, has his dinner, watches Slam Dunk and retires for the day, without so much as a Question "How was your day? " which my room mate in Hyds would invariably ask, I feel a tinge of tear. I am not sure if I am being a schmalz, maybe I am being one. But I am not able to help it either. I want to be that chirpy, no holds barred girl.I want to be the Cherrie who had the opportunity to crack incessant jokes with family, the Amrita who had hellova lot of fun with her friends.

Getting used to

The last post had me in a pretty disconcerted state. I am still far from being settled, but I am slowly getting used to this life.

The fact that I am yet to get a machine in office and the broad band connection at home is kaput is keeping me away from the net. I do keep visiting the blogs I used to frequent, but I dont have the sustained access to the sites, so I give posting of comments a miss.

But I remember the comments which were posted by people who read my last blog. And that helped me a lot in ironing out my restlessness.

Here a standard day involves a lot of loitering around. At home I follow my mom in law around. I feel like Marys little lamb ( yea the same lamb from the nursery rhymes).

Commuting to office is a big pain which burns a big crater like hole in my pocket. The killing heat of Chennai completely dissuades me from taking a public means of transport. So I end up taking an auto all the way to office which is very far from home. And in office since I dont have work, I am yet to have a machine of my own. Which means I end up sharing 4 systems with 10 odd new joinees. There is literally a game of musical chairs in and around here.

We have resource managers who are responsible for mapping us into projects. And Murphy s law is at its best, my resource manager is the lousiest one. He s a youngistaani with a scar from his nose through his left cheek. Let me call him ScarFace. Now he comes in at 0815 hours pronto. And then works till God knows what time cos I scurry out at 1600 hrs. And whole day he is attending telecons and phone calls which sound important to me. But till now I have not seen him map a resource into a proper project (#@$^&*#$^@#) I am not sure when he will be able to put me in my due place. It better be soon else I feel the chances are very high that he will get a scar over his other cheek courtesy me (#$^#^@$%@).

I reach home early in the evening, and have a nice cup of tea. If my mom in law gets on with the cooking, I give her moral support by standing next to her in the kitchen. Else if she is daring enough that day to give the task of cooking to me, I don my chefs hat and get on with the work. At 2020 hours, I get the message from K to pick him up from the bus stop. I dont miss the chance to do so, cos thats when I get to drive the scooty, and dont I love it :)

I miss my old office a lot, I miss everything about it. The work culture, the space, the people, the friends I had there. And I miss my friend Sw a lot. I still keep calling her up a lot and shes such an angel that even in office hours when she has work, she spares time for me :) And of course I miss my flat mates and room mate. But I am not clinging to the fact that I am far from them. Hyderabad as of now seems pretty approachable from Chennai.

Here I feel I am slowly reverting to my old self. I am getting used to the life here. The way of living out here. I cannot vouch for the fact that marrying the person you loved makes life any easier. The ups and downs still exist. For me I believe the best part is that I have very supportive in laws. At no point have the forced me to adopt anything. As I have a lot of time in hand now, I feel the urge to get going again. To learn some new sport, nurture some new hobby, study for some exam. I am not sure what exactly I want. May be its just the wish to be gainfully employed for all the 12 waking hours of the day.

Newbie's experiences

Been 7 and a half years since I left home. Since then have been a hostel boarder or put up in apartments with friends.
I moved to Chennai to be with my husband and family. I have not got that solid family feeling. But thats what is technically correct I believe.
Its not a major change. I know the people. I know the person I am married to. They are a pretty chilled out gang. No overt restrictions.

But still then I feel like a guest. I feel a bit hesitant calling over a friend to stay at my place, because I myself don't have the settled feeling yet.

And all the while that I am having at idyllic time at home (I am yet to join my new office) I keep getting seconds thoughts. I keep wondering is it too early to get into family mode? Did I hurry into the decision of getting back to family? I was blissfully with out any responsibility and having fun with friends. I could have continued having those times still. But when I ask any one they say, whats the point in delaying the ultimate? You have to be with them finally, whats the point in delaying the obvious?
Another thought that saddens me is the memory of my room mates and my friends in Hyderabad. I have a knack of keeping people around me busy. I will pull them for chatting, for shopping, for a movie or some activity or the other. I am also some one who is most of the time game for accompanying a person on an errand or a trip to some place. Before I left Hyderabad, my flat mates told me they will miss me a lot. And after coming here I keep thinking what they might be upto. I imagine my roomie having breakfast alone, usually we had it together no matter what. I shared a special bond with her. One with out words. One of unsaid emotions. We just understood each other. We were very comfortable in each others company. I don t remember a single instance when I was irritated, pissed off or angry at her. It was a smooth relationship with no one explicitly singing the other s praise. And now shes missing me a lot. Yesterday when she called and said it felt weird to be coming back to a room with out me. And she said, our relationship was so much one to one that may be no one else would understand. Yes roomie dear no one would understand.

Am still slowly transitioning into a new life. I feel as if I am going to an unknown destination.

Will miss you...

This is the last post from this lovely city .
Every time I think about leaving Hyderabad in a few days I get the shivers. And today morning the feeling was especially strong. I some how did not want to go away from here.
But some things should be done and there is no option.
But before I move this post goes out to all the wonderful people who made my stay all the more pleasing, fulfilling and enriching.

Sw :- My old room mate from Calcutta and close friend, never thought I would get a chance to meet her up for such a long time. But then, some things are destined. She has been the companion for innumerable shop-capades and general loitering around the city. Being well versed in the ins and outs of the city, shes been lovely company through and through. On top of that, shes been a counselor in times of need. A true friend whom I call hunny.

Sh :- Roomie dear. Fellow Sagi. Awesome company for any fun filled activity. Agony aunt in case you need solace. Companion for the morning walks. Some one whom I had an instant connection with.

Su :- First friend at my current firm. Little did I know this nonchalant guy sitting next to me during the initial induction sessions would turn out to be a close friend in a such a short period of time. He has always been there as a concerned friend in the office full of colleagues.

H :- Lunch mate with a child like disposition. Shes a kid at heart who has been crest fallen ever since I took the leave for my wedding. Shes reiterated it n+1 number of times that she is going to miss me like hell.

A :- My flat mate. Incessant talker. Can go on and on talking that I have to tell her to keep quiet and go to sleep please. Yesterday also it was till late night that we were chatting with each other till pretty late at night. Argumentative to the core I have had some rather entertaining sessions with her.

G :- G the dino. Friend of K who in turn became a good friend of mine. We have a silent competition as to who comes first in wishing the other over Gtalk. May be the first geek with whom I don t mind having coffee with :D

Ne/J/M :- Partners in crime when it comes to jumping over the tracks to catch the train from office. Ne is the silent devil. From the outside no one can fathom his mischievous self. But talk to him and mischief drips from his seemingly innocuous jokes and satires. J is the Josh machine, another non stop talker who beats A hands down when it comes to talking. M is the on track queen who has a never give up attitude when it comes to chasing the trains.

P :- My mentee from the the school where I go for the mentorship program from my firm every Saturday. I am going to miss her a lot.

Ma :- Silent sensitive guy from the mentorship program who used to drop me off from the school at home. Always full of nice practical suggestions and a person with whom its very easy to converse. Somehow seems a store house of practical information to me.

Ni :- The lead of the mentorship program. Eternal nag. Very persistent. And a person committed to the core.

All these wonderful people and many many more made my stay here brilliant. I guess God wanted this stay to be short and sweet. As I get jitters about my new life in Chennai, I hope I meet you people soon and keep bumping into you all again and again. And also that I get such wonderful people in future too.

Knot to be

I am writing this post on behalf of a very lazy friend of mine whose out groom hunting :)

Shes my alter ego and we often have this tag between us that we don t need to talk cos our thoughts are just mirror images :)

Now her parents are looking for alliances and after every session with a prospective groom she is sure to have a session with me, discussing what were the good, bad, ugly, immaterial aspects of the person whom she met.

She expects some one who would have all her good traits and negate all her bad ones (Perfect is boring but who would not want to have a try at some one perfect ) So she wants some one who reads, is intellectual at the same time game for a dash of fun once in a while, a sport when it comes to outdoor as well as indoor activities, not lazy, is frank, superior to her in terms of educational qualification and monthly income,etc etc.. Apart from these tangibles, she also wants some one with whom she feels an instant connection, feels mutual respect, some one who has a nice personality, some one who would support her in her future ambitions, some one who would encompass her and make her comfortable in his own circle while also allowing her room to continue all her old relations and friendships, and some more qualities which I am not able to recollect now. I know her wish list is pretty long, but being a girl, who has to leave so much and consign herself to an utter stranger, it out right SCARY.

When I was deciding upon the point whether K was the right person for me or not, I had innumerable sessions with her and another friend of mine discussing, debating, analyzing. There were more loose ends and question marks initially. But slowly there were a few but pressing reasons for me to go ahead with the alliance. I wish I remembered the deliberations that went on then. But now as I help my friend analyze the people she meets I feel scared and tensed and really worried for her. Every time she goes to meet some one I nearly pray that may she make the correct choice, may she get the nuances of the person's behavior. But just how much can you grasp in one meeting? :-S

The other day while talking she said, "I know with what reasons you can reject a person but what do people see that makes them say yes." I had no answer to that. Then she went on to say"How are you doing Amu?" I was like what kind of question is that? She said , "No dear, you are so mature. (She always feels I am mature :| ) You can handle a lot of things. But you are also a jovial fun loving person who does not like any strings attached? How are doing? How is marriage treating you? Don t you ever feel burdened? Tied down?" I did not want to answer her with the fears I have of leaving my old life. Of leaving the smooth circle of friends I have now.

Then she continued "Really I am not sure I can live with one person all the life" I was surprised at this. She comes from a pretty traditional family where some things are not questioned. Shes a thorough romantic at heart and she having doubts about living with one person brought me face to face with the fact how freaking nervous she was. She said, "I have seen people being happy when their alliances are being fixed. Why am I not feeling so? Wish I never questioned anything and went ahead with any alliance my parents got for me." I said," See dear, we are intelligent enough and free enough to questions some things. And I am sure our parents are proud of this fact. They will be sadder if we compromise and settle down thinking we are troubling them rather than speaking our mind. So please tell whatever you feel about the person to your parents and take a judicious decision."

I don t even know if I am guiding her on the right path. I just speak as I feel, what I feel at that point of time.

She s close to getting an alliance fixed. Hope things work fine for you dear friend. And as we say, marriages happen with the person with whom its supposed to happen. I just hope that person is the rightest for you dear, a real good friend and who loves you to pieces. Amen.

Hmpf!!

Lately I have been at my lethargic best. I had a post called Keeping busy.
Now I should have titled this post as Being Lazy - but then I try to avoid a pattern, hence this title.
I have ABSOLUTELY no work in office and thanks to the lenient policies of my company, I am always available on all the messengers. I keep reading a lot, but then again, I am not much into the online reading - so I don't savor the reading so much :(
And since I don't have much work, I am game for accompanying any co-worker for tea, coffee, snacks as many times as I am called. Seeing this trend, I have not stepped on the weighing machine for quite some time. I am also all smiles when I get an offer to escort some one to get couriers done, print outs taken, withdrawing money from the ATM and sundry tasks. Some how, strangely, the less I work, the more tired I feel.
There was a time when I used to be up at 6:30, go for the swim, come back, sit for a quick breakfast with the newspaper, then rush to office. Office demanded undivided attention. After 9-10 hours of brain numbing, eye straining and finger aching work, I used to rush back home. Some hours spent with friends and catching up with family, and then I used to sit for an hour at least preparing for the CAT.
And now I have become such a wastrel.
I wake up like an over weight dinosaur at 7:30. Then I go for the swim(this is the only activity I do which burns any calories. You will see this as you read on) Active swimming is for the normal 30 minutes only, after which I fool around(since a flat mate of mine is learning, I get ample opportunity for morale crushing *Evil* ) and waste some more time. Then I stride back home and have breakfast like I got all the time in the world.
In office after wasting 6 hours ( though I am officially supposed to waste 9 ) I walk out with a flat mate of mine(who works in the same firm ) through the fire exit.
Once I get home, I don't have an ounce of regret as I sit and brutally, methodically murder time by chatting with the flat mate and watching mindless tv( I get bored of this activity soon though).
By the time the clock strikes 10, I have my eye lids drooping. When any one calls me at that hour, my conversation is laced with ample portions of yaaaaaaaaawn, sniff sniff.

Hmm... Finally today I took the bull by the horns, and have one achievement for the day. This blog :D
Since I seem to be at my active best, I might as well complete the tag from Abhishek(This also I am taking on my own volition - no pressure no pleading )
So what I need to do is state 5 random blatant facts about me or anything around.
1. When I am angry I show it on other things. For example, one day I was having a divine bout of sinus headache. And in a fit of rage, I threw the homeo medicines I was taking which were supposed to cure me of the same. I remember as a child, during the good old days when buffet had not got a stronghold in Indian wedding receptions and the food was served to the guests, in case there was a significant delay in me taking my seat and the arrival of food, I used to get utterly vexed. As a consequence, I used to take huge helpings of the food, but waste them all. My idea of anger management.
2. Even if I not angry, I can show anger. I can just like that raise decibel levels to show I am angry. Once a smart Alec auto rickshaw driver all of a sudden said that the petrol in his vehicle was over. I am sure he realized all of a sudden that going to my area would not be so lucrative further on. I raised my voice and said, "Dude if you don't drop me at the place for which I have taken this auto and drop me mid way, I am not gonna pay you a single penny. I then happened to remember there was a filling station near by and asked him to get the petrol there. Then he was like "No no Maam, I just thought it was over, its enough to go till your home."
A friend of mine travelling with me was dumb struck and said "Cool Amrita Cool. Don't be so angry." I smiled and said "Who is ;) "
3. Music can cheer me up any time. It works most of its wonders when I am sad after a trip home, or had a fight with K, or I am generally irritated with the state of affairs around.
4. I love chemicals. I love chemicals of many different forms - like Shampoos, Conditioners, Perfumes, Body lotions, Body washes, Sun Screen, Moisturizer and the list goes on. Some how be it in any mall, I am unable to resist one trip to the cosmetics section. I buy or not is a completely different issue - but I am sure to make a visit to the aisle having the wonderfully packaged chemicals.
5. I am a stickler to cleanliness. If cleanliness is next to Godliness then I believe I am as close to God as possible :D Generally any thing lying askew, peeves me big time. A stray towel on the bed, the shoes not in their proper position in the rack, the cup board in a mess - all these can set me off into a frenzy.
So any one who reads this post do take up the tag :)