The world did nt end but the year is about to

This year somehow I was not getting the enthu to write the year end post. Things started going a bit topsy turvy since the 15th of the month. It was getting all cluttered, clumsy, uncertain and a bit dismal for people I love. To top it all, the untimely death of the young lady Damini/Nirbhaya/Amanat really distressed me. One half of me wanted to her to pass away soon, as in, she was undergoing too much torment, and that too for a life ahead which would not be complete. But then the news of her demise, somehow rattled me. Don't we all want life to triumph. :( In the New Year Celebrations, cricket frenzy and a day to day life, she will be forgotten, the episode will be forgotten. What will surely remain is darkness which will haunt her parents and near family, maybe till the day they meet her again. What heckles me most, in spite of so many such incidents, there is no solution. I being the 'cowardly', 'pragmatic' choose to be fully clothed, be back home by 2000 and always take my own car if  situation deems me to be late. I am sure, I am going to enforce these 'Taliban-ish' rules on my daughter too. Better safe than sorry right? But then are we really safe? Don't we get goose flesh if even one of the street light is off? A group of men standing by  a street corner even in broad daylight can make one dream up worse case scenarios. I have heard of my friends being stalked in a wedding reception! Is there any place that is safe? And safe enough?

Hmm.. anways. I think its a curse we have to bear. I do not blame all men. I do not blame women either - come on one life, they should have the liberty to dress and do what they want to do. But without our civic machinery churning, I see no end in sight.

A dialogue goes in Shawshank Redemption - Hope is  a good thing. 

As I became a mother on  26/02/2012 23:55 I hope the world is greener, more peaceful and definitely safer for my child.

I hope I am able to get into the minds of great people through their books as I did through a lot of 2012.

I hope I am able to be gainfully engaged with family as we were in India being with folks both at Chennai and BBSR.

I hope we are all healthier and fitter to take up more challenging endeavours.

I hope the year is so much better that we don't hope it to end.

Happy New Year! May the coming year fill our hearts with the same hope that glistens in the eyes of our innocent children. 

The Delivery Room

'It is 1998. In the safe haven of her North London flat - in a room her husband has ironically dubbed the Delivery Room - Serbian therapist Mira Braverman listens to the stories of her troubled patients. As the novel unfolds, Mira discovers she is not as distant from her pain as she might once have been'

This was the gist of the story which attracted me to pick up this work by Sylvia Brownrigg. The book is intense. It is a story that weaves through characters and their personalities :- 

Mira - The Serbian therapist settled in London and connected to her homeland through her sister Svetlana and her niece. 

Peter - Mira's husband, a lovable professor who is the sterling support in Mira's life. His battles with his illness and his feelings for his son Graham form another league of struggles.

Graham - His mixed feelings for Peter and his step-mother Mira, his quandaries about having children and his  ups and downs with his wife.

Clare - Graham's wife who is a real sweet character but comes with her own baggage of emotions.

There are additional characters of the patients who weave some more detail. One unique thing about the book, is the way the author starts a new scenario, which puzzles the reader about whom it is leading to. So intricately knit are the lives and so synonymous are the emotions of the characters. There are a few passages of the book which are beautiful. 

A woman came in with a pram, inevitably, from which issued unnerving complaints like a cat's. The woman had a distracted, harassed look, and her clothes were what Eleanor called 'maternal resignation wear', the I-can't-be-bothered slouch of sweat shirt over jeans, and comfortable shoes. Face without make-up, or the softening touch of sleep.None the less,her eyes were proud. She had about herself that unassailable bearing that new mothers had. What I am doing here is the most important thing that there is. I have created new life.

One only ever heard stories of the heroes who fought their cancers, whose spirits remained indomitable, who retained their senses of humour, who became positive, ennobling forces in the lives of friends and relations.Less was written about the legions of inferior beings who must exist too, people who became impatient and unpleasant, or hollered with fear, or those like himself (Peter did not believe he was the only one) who simply became resigned, passive, gloomy, discouraged.

There was no hurry or need to say anything. This had been new for Kate, one of Cassandra's gifts, perhaps. Before, Kate would always have felt the need to fill an empty space as if it were an awkwardness or a mistake: she had not wanted it to seem as though she had nothing to say, or was bored or distracted in someone's company.Silences seemed ominous and insulting, a result of social misfire. Now they seemed merely appropriate, and somehow kind.How much kinder, finally, than talk that said nothing.

So that was what finally broke you: the pain.Not, in themselves,the fear, or the humiliation, or the anger,all those known emotions that had become nightmarishly magnified. Fear of one's own end; humiliation at the prospect of total degradation; anger at the unfairness of it, the approaching annihilation of self. You might spend a lifetime as a literature professor or a psychoanalyst considering the dimensions of the emotional life, chronicling its dips and sways, noting the different ways a person could be gripped by passion or anxiety or rage - only  to discover, finally, that we are all bodies, and that the worst there can be of anything is pain. Pain swallows all.

The book does not have a lot of momentous events. It is just a journey of the four central characters through very normal events. The language is beautiful and gripping. A beautiful book. 

It is not all gloom and doom?

'Yea does nt sound like me right? The so called eternal optimist bites the dust? Somehow things seem to be such a drag.

K keeps working forever. I see him in the morning and thats it. I have no clue many a times when he turns up. I am all right with it, since I know he is a bit passionate about what he is doing. But there are moments when I wish he was around a bit more. Sissy continues to have '

Well that is what I had written last Thursday . I had even titled the post 'is it all gloom and doom'. But Friday was the birthday of roomie dear so I thought I would post it on Saturday. Thankfully I got a bit busy in other stuff and rather than a morose post we have a tending towards up beat one.

Saturday we finally ventured for our first movie after the birth of Chiyaa. Life of Pi. We were all prepared - ready to hit the doors the moment lil cutsie shows any signs of crankiness . We opted for the seats close to the pathway so that we could bolt ASAP . Chiyaa started off by munching on some soft bits of the popcorn. It was followed by a couple of biscuits . What ensued was a period of restlessness . I tried rocking her and within a span of 20 mins she was asleep. Bless her ! The best moments of the movie were yet to come.

The movie was such a visual delight. Some of the scenes were surreal. The emotions were so palpable. Richard Parker was so adorable!!! The movie has done full justice to the book. In fact I feel like reading the book again.

Sunday we had plans to go for lunch to a local Gujarati hotel. We are zeroing in on places to host Chiyaa's birthday party so we are trying out different venues . Food was mediocre but best was sitting with Chiyaa and enjoying a meal and watching her enjoy the outing :)

Yes there are things in the offing which seem uncertain . People I love are in dilemma . It pains to see some real close folks in doldrums. But then hey ! It's Christmas time. May it be filled with happiness and good cheer for one and all!!

Merry Christmas!!

There is something about Monday too

Is'nt it? Something so URGHH!! If I knew Monday personally I would have killed it. If I was Monday I would have killed myself. Hmpf! 

Today started darkest and dingiest of all days. The sun rose at around 0930. Urgh again! I was bracing myself for things to turn around, now come on the sun had beat the clouds and was out and about. More over I had a new TV delivery to await which K had been really looking forward to( a 42 inch Sony make LED for the most amahzinggg PS3 gaming experience ( iiiiiiiiiif Chiyaa lets him play Mwahahahahaahaha) Anyways, so I was looking forward to the delivery. I hoped Chiyaa would not be fussy when the technician was around. I also tried to finish her chores as soon as possible. In the haste I was a bit careless and she took a mighty big fall :(  - shes just trying to stand up now a days. Poor dear was inconsolable for quite sometime :(

Right then I got a message from my sis to call her. She never ever asks me to ring. Things must have gone south for her. As anticipated her situation was a bit messed up. I gave her some my dose of advice when the TV technician called.

He had already bored K enough by asking him directions to our place which is literally a straight line from where he was coming. He even cried about which apartment gate he should park at, where should he keep the stuff etc etc.

He came over all huffing and panting and marched to the place where I showed where the TV was to be fitted. Near that place I have a small play area for Chiyaa with a little carpet spread over. It generally lies littered with toys and other nick knacks of hers. Now this rhinoceros of a person just walked over without removing his shoes ( I know it's not an occidental culture to remove shoes but show some respect to a baby's toys! What do they look like? Compost?) My anger somehow knew no bounds and I very rudely asked him to step away and hurriedly removed the carpet . TV was set up in a jiffy but the interaction with the person left a bad taste in my mouth.

After that suddenly maybe just cos it was Monday my neck started throbbing and aching very annoyingly grrrrrr. To relax I logged into fb and saw a friend put up a rather horrendous photo of mine. My hair was flat( I had spent 5 whole minutes thinking whether to tie it or leave or open and had gone with tying and looked like a proper auntyyyyy waaaaa), I looked chubbied with a lil belly, the shirt looked formal (though its a pretty nice one it somehow looked yuk in the pic) and on the whole I looked like a fashion terrorist. By some divine intervention I wanted that pic to mysteriously disappear :( But such noble things don't happen and I was left to wallow in self pity. Kal se seriously walks, enough being all smug. I have'nt done step ups since we returned from India and I have been blaming winters for it ! Pathetic! Seriously PATHETIC!

Huh! Internet connection in BBSR was again feeble. Consequently the Skype call was so unsatisfactory :( more so cos I really wanted to talk to sis. All these were toooo overwhelming and I took to comfort eating. Ek to I looked like a piggy in the fb photo I knew I was doing no good by doing what I was. I knew a guilt trip awaited me. But then who listens to logic when emotions come aknocking. K had an avalanche of work and came home for a quick bite. Chiyaa was super clingy with him which made him feel very dejected. He wished to be with us but then duty called :( With a real heavy heart he made his way to work .

Things were just so botched up today. I hope John Abraham had a better day being his birthday ;)  

It's 15th already

Really? Did I manage it? 30 days of posting? Has the bla-bathon err I mean blog -athon really come to a close? :O

I usually finish what I start boring movies , dull books, mind numbing chores et al. I knew I would finish the blog -athon but sure enough I did run out of ideas in the middle. Thankfully some pictures and some 'inspiration' saved the day .

I wish I could have finished reading The Delivery Room and post a review if the same. I wish I could put some thoughts about a couple of documentaries I watched . I reallllllly wanted to try putting some recipes since that again is not something I had ever done. Some more movie reviews (my style) would have been good . But then let these after thoughts remain. Better luck next time ( I hear you people saying whaaaa she's gonna do it againnnnnn????) don't worry not soon :) But yes would love to repeat this. Maybe same time next year :) ;)

I seriously am lucky to have some readers - N, Jack, Amy, Renu, roomie dear and some others in stealth mode ;) honestly I may try to sound proud and say anyways it does nt matter I write for my own joy. It does make any writer happy to get a reader :)

As thus blog -athon has been done and dusted I am harboring some thoughts about running a marathon next year? Tooooo ambitious hai na? Especially for someone sitting on a bean bag with a room heater and shawl. Lemme see maybeeeee a blog -athon about my marathon preparation next time ;)

There is something about Friday

Its like poori kayanat comes to celebrate this awesome day! 

Today the temperatures were hitting all time lows. It was raining like crazy. URGHHHH!!!! But then still it was Friday. Things tend to go ok on a Friday.

Somehow Chiyaa decided to take an elongated nap. Something like 2 hours. Maybe because of the cold climate, she felt all warm and snuggled up in her blanket. That gave me time to catch up with 2 dear friends. Wow! It was so fantastic!!! Words cannot describe how good I felt. One is my proper alter ego, with whom I can share almost everything. She understands me totally and being of the same wavelength as me, its like seeing a mirror. But she also gives her words of honesty and caution which is amazing. I can't be more grateful to God for having given such an amazing friend. The other is my pillar of strength who has seen me through some real tough times. My contact with her is few and far between given her numerous responsibilities at home and work. But when we do catch up, its like a breath of fresh air. It was thoroughly enriching talking to both of them.

In spite of time having rolled on, there was no sign of the Munchkin waking up. I thought might as well utilise this time to get my wish fulfilled. Yep of making daal baati which I mentioned in my last post. I was planning to follow this recipe. Now if you see the recipe is a pretty elaborate one like performing a science experiment. But anyways I decided to follow it. Started in the morning itself and had hopes that would somehow be able to manage it for dinner. Thankfully I was. Here's the result. Must have done something prettttttttttty wrong for it looks nothing like the image in the recipe ;) Though it was edible. Ashu you are not to be blamed :) 

Midway K came for tea cos he never had a proper lunch. Chiyaa slept a bit more and I read some pages of a book.Hmmm.... there is something about Fridays, even the rain soaked ones.

An idea can change your 28th post

As the days keep rolling by to reach the 30th day mark, I was seriously going dry in the grey matter area. 

But then there are some real cool idea people likeN who have made my job a little bit easier. Here's the Alphabet tag :) Seriously what an idea Madamjee.

Cherrie's blogs have already reached the all time high of having 51 posts this year itself. Seriously half century in a year. All thanks to this Blog-athon!

Days are getting way shorter and it is somehow the most irritating aspect of winters for me. Apart from getting dressed up like astronauts, heating drinking water, melting coconut oil and a million plus one additional tasks.

Every day we think of hitting the bed early. Early to bed and early to rise right? But then either our madamjee is up playing or just not sleepy and when she sleeps off, our sleep is gone :(

For quite some time I have been toying with the idea of making daal baati. A Rajasthani delicacy. I would love to make it. Hopefully someday soon.

Good in a way that I do not have work to attend to. I keep getting asked this question, that it might be way easier to have no hustle bustle of work, but then, taking full time care of a baby is a physically asking task. 

Helium filled balloons look so cute don't they? Here's my lil one playing with one - well sorta.

Idlis are what I have been planning to make since the past 2 weeks. Never able to manage the time to soak the dals :(

Jostling for space constantly - that's the kitchen scene. There is fresh clashes between Chiyaa and the parent's dishes now a days. Constant competition between the little vessels and big ones, the small quantity dishes and the normal, the water sippers and the water bottles. Gosh! Its such a mess.

King Khan's latest movie came and went, and my heart never got the time to go aflutter :( 

Looking forward to Life of Pi though. It is releasing 2 weeks later here - no idea why!? Not even sure if we would be able to watch it in the theatre.

Moong daal sprouts with banana and milk is what I have been having for breakfast. It's a bit boring but its supposed to be good to counter hair loss. Take note Nance :P 

Nando's chicken is the only chicken K is still in love with. He has fallen out  of love with all. :( Too bad, its only been recently I was getting the hang of cooking chicken.

Oh by the way, K started a vegetarian. Turned egg-etarian. Then proper chicken-etarian. His love for chicken increased by leaps and bounds, till recently hes on the decline now :(

PS3 is something he never gets the time with. Poor thing, no matter how conducive the time, the lil one sniffs out hes going to kill some bad people and tries to join forces with him ;) K does'nt appreciate it :P

Quite strangely Chiyaa does not put much stuff in her mouth. She peels onions and garlic, makes a rattle of slippers, bangs vessels like crazy, but does not put things in her mouth. Diapers - yes that she tries to!!

Recently did a lot of online shopping. I think I am finally getting the hang of it :) 

Scrubbed the whole house with my bare hands. Felt good and all sanitised :D 

Try to shape up is what K told me yesterday :( Weightloss is fine, but you have to get into shape now :( Huh! I told this to roomie dear this morn and she said which shape? 'V' ? Friends like these who needs enemies 
x-(

Until summer K has given up his fitness regime. Hmpf. 

Virtually every place is resplendent with Christmas lights. Sales, shops open later than usual hours and crowds braving the winter - there is something in the air during Christmas time.

Washing machine is the most used appliance in our home these days, thanks to lots of baby bibs, muslin clothes and the like.

x-( is a smiley I am getting a hang of now a days :) I somehow love writing up the smileys, as in rather than using the ones that come up in messengers, I like writing them. 

Yahoo messenger has the best smileys I feel. I simply love the rotfl one =)) 

Z? I have reached zzzzzzzz??