Happiness is..

 When your 9 year old comes and hugs you. You ask "What happened" And she says "Nothing just wanted to hug you :) "

Rasode main kaun hai

 Yours truly, aur kaun. :D

My kitchen journey is that of a typical 80s girl. I didn't cook as a kid cos Mummy was there. In spite of having a full time job, she never asked and in fact abhorred any help in the kitchen :) She used to work in her own pace and style. When mummy was transferred to another location and sis and I were living with Papa, I was forced to pick up one key cooking skill. Making tea! I was probably 13 years old then and quickly came to grips with the process of making tea. And I started making the most amazing teas! So much so that even if Papa had the time, he would ask me to make tea. The evening chai with a big serving of Milk Bikis and Thin Arrowroot biscuits was standard practice for us three. When mummy used to come on her holidays, she used to be shocked at the full mug fulls of teas we kids used to have. But the love for chai has stayed on with my sister and I. So much so, till date there is a debate who makes the better tea :D her or me :D . (Its me!) I can write a whole post on tea itself and my love for it. I have lived with many tea lovers during my adult life. I had a room mate who used to claim "any time is tea time". I did not have a pleasant stay with her, but somehow having the morning cup of tea before starting to work and the evening cup once back were the moments of peace and weird calm. I also lived with a bunch of Delhi girls once upon a time, who were ace tea makers too. But I cannot talk about tea without mentioning roomie dear who used to make a killer tea.  Every morning a really quiet but super recharging walk, followed by hot parathas  with an unhealthy portion of butter, a cup of tea and The Time of India shared between us. We never needed any retreat. We started every day as if we were in a retreat. Some of the very best mornings of my life!

The knowledge of making coffee kinda grew as a lateral learning. There was some science to boiling the milk to the right extent and pouring it in a certain way to get the right amount of froth. There was also the measure of coffee to make it "light" or "strong". Marrying into a Tamil household opened my eyes to coffee. Its a ritual. I am not ritualistic. But the taste of fresh ground coffee, that is something that words cannot describe. I embraced coffee drinking with as much passion as tea. And I managed to introduce "real" tea in the our circle. The proper tea ;) with ginger, little bit of cardamom, the right amount of sugar, tea, milk and water. Its heaven in a cup! 

Tea, coffee aside, I cooked only for survival before marriage. Cooking when it was my "turn" to cook or when the lady who cooked didn't turn up.  In fact, when K spoke to my mother for the first time, she even mentioned "Amrita cant cook". K replied "She will learn" I chuckled "hah dream on". I thought I was one of those girls, who couldn't and wouldn't cook. Cooking wasn't cool.

Entering a partnership with a foodie changes stuff. Rather entering a partnership with a man changes stuff for a woman. Cos most men value food. They may have different tastes, but I haven't met a man who doesn't place food in the higher echelons in terms of priority ;) kuch bhi bana do is not really kuch bhi bano do :) 

After marriage along with bringing in the delicacy of tea, I also brought in matar paneer, gobi aloo, kadhi, stuffed parathas and vegetables such as pointed gourd, red spinach and Malabar spinach. I also had to imbibe the fair share of kootu, avial and a wide variety of rice dishes. I never fancied myself as a cook, but cooking equated creating. And I am one who loves seeing a tangible output. This post for instance is an output of my thoughts and gives me immense pleasure. I don't bother about who may or may not read it, but I derive immense satisfaction in writing it. Cooking in the sweltering heat of Chennai also gave the same sense of satisfaction when I saw the spread on the table later! 

Migrating to the UK was another culinary exposure. Since I was the solo person in the kitchen ( a first! no room mate or mom or mil) I learnt stuff. I picked up dishes from all over India and started experimenting. K and my Indian palette never wavered much from our traditional Indian dishes though we tried the odd Italian, Mexican or African. We reserved those cuisine for outside dining. When kids came along with their taste accustomed to the European foods thanks to day care and school, we had to drag in some international items into the kitchen. 

All was fine and dandy, but there was one thing I couldn't do. I couldn't bake. I couldn't bake to save my life! Literally. When lock down happened, I felt brave and tried a no-bake tart first. It came out swell! Ahem, beginner's luck? The next step was a doughnut recipe from a channel BakeWithShivesh. That was a roaring success too. The kids loved it since I involved them. They loved watching the video and later making it. I was feeling brave. I was doing all this with weight measurements since I had a kitchen scale. But then I thought measuring cups would be handy. I got them and tried the Devil's food cake with a lot of anxiety. And it came out perfect! There was no stopping after that. From a non-baker, I evolved into one who owns a hand and mechanical whisk, a spring form baking pan, 2 normal ones to make layered cakes, muffin trays, and knows the difference between ganache and buttercream frosting and fresh cream  frosting and is also aware of  how to make them! :D 

Lock down make me find therapy in cooking! I have started making pickles and dry chutneys, nut butters and laddoos and a plethora of other items. I relish cooking so much that a regular complaint from K is "You are always in the kitchen"

I know what I was missing

 A holiday! And I finally had one. Not a day out in the parks, not a trip to the nearby zoo and back. But a proper staying out of home holiday. And the last one we had was two years ago!

Faced with the pandemic we took a very conservative stance towards holidays. As the world opened up briefly last year around summer, we decided it was still too early to go for holidays and trips. We were more than content with the local forests and parks. During winter last year, we made a few day trips to zoos and other outdoor venues. In UK internal travel restrictions were to lifted on the 18th of May. But we had to plan in advance. Again we took a very conservative stance and booked a place close by thus making sure we were within England. Not only that the place was 1 hour from home which made it the same county which would ensure that we would mostly be under similar restrictions if things went downhill.

But planning a holiday is no child's play. Add the fact that we were looking at summer half term which is a very busy time given the probability of good weather. Also there were millions of stir crazy Britons who were desperate for a holiday..accommodations of choice were in short supply. I was close to giving up. But my dear sis nudged me on asking me to keep looking for my sake. It is important to rejuvenate and travel is rejuvenating.

I was getting frustrated. But K happened to send me a link for a probable destination. It had my interest piqued. One thing led to another and I booked a forest retreat with hot tubs. If nothing else, the hot tubs would be a novel experience ;)

There was a month and a half's wait before the holiday. A week to it I asked the kids to pack their stuff. They got super super excited. They took out bags, packed clothes, sweaters, jackets, and started counting down. Me being me had to review their choice of clothes and accessories. And as with any holiday I decided the kids needed new clothes. Nearly a year of lockdown had depleted their clothes reserves and added a lot to their pyjama collections. So 4 days prior to the hols the three girls were sitting all agog in front of the laptop choosing dresses. I ended up purchasing some real stylish clothes for the girls which was a wholly entertaining experience in itself. We made a trip to the mall to collect the clothes and tried them on there. It was novel experience since trial rooms were not available to avoid social contact. Doing something as trivial and mundane as trying out clothes made me feel good. It was some amazing mother daughters time I must say! As a pleasant surprise we met one of Pumpki 's nursery friends and her mom and spent close to an hour talking while the kids played. It was a really pleasant experience.

The day of the holiday the kids could not contain their excitement. Somehow the nice weather made sure that we were in the garden pottering about. It had been a very busy weekend with a lot of washing of winter wear and the likes and packing them up. It was finally warm!!!

Our holiday was quaint and idyllic. The sceneries were just breathtaking. There were few crowds and many places were just left for us. It was very amazing just walking and walking. The kids showed immense will power in walking close to 10k -13k steps every single day. The hot tub at the end of the day was a major motivation to keep them going. Seeing their enthusiasm we are sure they are up for many walking holidays in the future. :) We all watched a ton of TV, I read and finished the good part of a book. We ate take away food and just relished living some where else. 

It was the best 4 days we spent in a long long time. It was just splendid and I daresay perfect! Touchwood.

What are kids for?

 If I cant use them to write my next post :D 

Its been ages since I wrote isn't it? I have been thinking that I haven't written in a while, but there is absolutely nothing to write about either. Things are the same old same old. 

Except of course for the kids who surprise us every day. Last weekend Pumpki had a bit of  a cough. In fact Chiyaa had a cold and cough the week before so it was obvious that Pumpki eventually get it. Now this little one is a sly one. She in complete contrast to her elder sister hates everything. She hates school, she hates swimming, she hates karate (which she even went up and  told the teacher!!) . She finds everything "boring". All she wants to do is "be lazy and play at home". Mind you she is very strong willed. So when she got a cough last week, we asked her to have ample warm water so the cough subsides. She said "But I dont want the cough to subside" We were aghast! But why? "Because they said you shouldn't come to school if you have a persistent cough" God, we had no answer to that.

Anyways, we insisted on warm water and regular calpol to keep her well. On Saturday night, her cough was a bit more raspy. K was worried, though I was smug sure, it was a normal cold. K got in touch with the Covid helpline, who had a quick check and recommended she get a test done. I was a bit worried about a 5 year old getting a nasal swab. But madam was excited. She was behaving as if this was a moment of privilege. She painstakingly picked the jacket and shoe to wear for the test! For the one hour, dad and daughter were gone to the test centre, I was in constant worry. But then they came back and Pumpki had the air of a celebrity. She got a sticker for being brave and was very proud of it. The test results would take a day or two to come back. This meant we most probably would have both the kids home for Monday and Tuesday. It was not a pleasant idea. But, there was no choice.

Monday morning, I was the least prepared parent. I was sure they wouldn't be off to school. So I didn't have Chiyaa's lunch packed. We were lax in ironing their uniforms. I woke up later than usual since I was sure I would not need to do the school run. At 07:15 K shouted, "Its negative!". Woo hoooooo!!! We scurried to get them out of the door. All the chores were done at break neck speed and the kids were out by the usual time. We could not help but be amused at the disappointment of Pumpki at having to go to school :D Poor kid had real high hopes that she would be scot free from all the "boring" tasks for the next two days. :D Dil ke armaan aansuon main beh gaye :( 

Back to School - again

 The kids are back in school. This time as the PM claims, it is a one way street. So hopefully there will be no lockdown 3.0. 

Chiyaa and Pumpki were eagerly waiting for school to start. Such is the irony of schooling system in the UK where the kids actually look forward to going back! They were counting days to when school would start. Sunday they went to bed all enthusiastic about the next day. We were all set for school from ironed uniforms and book bags perspective since we expected schools to start as normal from January itself. 

But the next day did need a bit more preparation from our side. Since K has changed jobs, his new company needs him to be a bit more around calls and meetings since he is still coming to grips with the systems. This meant drop offs at school by him and pick ups by me. Pick ups by me  meant I had to wrap work pronto at 1500. Earlier I could sit through till 1600 ish depending on the flow of work. This meant the only way of getting a load of work done was to start work a bit earlier. This made my work start time around 6 in the morning. It is a big struggle waking up, but, there is no other option.

The kids got ready for school without a fuss. Pumpki seems to have matured over the months and there was absolutely no cribbing from her. While getting dressed she did mention to her sister "I will M.I.S.S.Y.O.U" Aww my heart just went out for the little one. They had had a lot of fun playing and watching television with each other. We  reassured her, that she would have much more fun with her friends. She will get to play outside a lot more. She was a bit teary eyed when she started for school, but eventually by the time she went into her classroom she was fine.

They both had a good day at school, while K and I missed them terribly. The house was quieter, cleaner and emptier. Their toys were still strewn all over the living room floor, but it was weird getting used to the lack of the two mischief makers. We were somehow going through the  motions of our working day. 

I had set up event in my calendar to notify me of the different classes  of Pumpki (I was in charge of Pumpki's classes) Last Friday I took special joy in deleting the recurring events. But then on Monday when I had one event pop up I nearly had tears in my eyes. 

Its been 4 days since the kids are back at school. It is again a new routine. Getting used to work during the time they are away and being 100% with them once they are back. It is different, but I must confess, though difficult, I thoroughly enjoyed having them around the past year. 

A letter to my daughters - second of many :)

Well as assured kids, here your mom is back with a letter for you guys. The pandemic has been wearing on, so a lot of the advice here might be clouded by the state of the world. 

1. Don't quantify success, or failure. You might be tempted to measure success in the number of things a person has, the places the person has been to, what the person does and many other such measurable attributes.  You never know the struggles or the freebies that came a person's way. Someone might have a seemingly having a sedate life, but you may not know the health ailments or loneliness the person may be battling. A person may have a jet setting life, but you never know the stresses riling him or her. Don't quantify your success with outwardly measurable quantities. Be grateful for many things you may take for granted. A healthy body. Be thankful  if you have a small caring circle of family and friends. Draw a sense of contentment from what you have.

2. Improve yourself and make things. Always try to become a better version of yourself. If you read 2 books in a month, try to read 3. If you can do push ups, try to do single arm ones. Try new things, and make new things. At the moment we are in the middle of a pandemic. And the internet  is the source of all things wonderful if you are willing to learn. I have learnt so many dishes and have started making our own pickles, breads and nut butters. I have finally managed to bake, which I had been trying to 10 years! And it is such an immense joy to bake and cook with you girls. Making something is the best feeling ever, giving you an immense of accomplishment. So make something, learn to cook new things, learn to grow new things, learn to make new things. Keep your fingers and your head busy.

3. If you need help, ask. It might seem a weakness, to seek help. But if you need help do ask. Most people will try to help. But unless you say, they may not know. So don't be afraid to ask for help. If someone declines, be happy that you tried.

4. Reserve your opinion unless asked. I have learnt it the hard way, but if you have opinions and if you have strong ones at that, it is very tempting to make it public. But be aware that it is not appreciated always. So keep your opinion to yourself :)

5. Try not to have regrets. I recently read in a book "The worst thing in life is having regrets. It not knowing whether it would have been a yes or a no. It is worse than rejection, because rejection is no and you can deal with it." Whenever faced with a choice, don't think of the failure that might come forth with an endeavor, the rejection you might face for your efforts. Think of the regret you might have if you don't take the step. So go for it! 

Well, that's all for this installment :) Till next time!

 

Budhapa

 The title of the post is a Hindi word which means "Old age".

I certainly believe that age is a number in side our head. If we attach it to ourselves, we start acting it . And acting it as per stereotypes set by society is not something I believe in. But there are some aspects where I can genuinely feel the encroachment of age. Let me elaborate :)

I remember in standard 8 chatting with my best friend. We were both die hard movie buffs. And we got chatting how our parents did not watch many movies. It seemed out right ridiculous. We were like "Never can we ever not be watching movies!". But I reached that stage some 5 years back. Chiyaa's birth drastically reduced my screen time. I was left with a lot of time to read, when I fed her or tried to put her to sleep. So the reading hours notched up. The interest in movies and tele-series waned. Movies were a major setback since there was just no change of watching any in a single installment. Watching them over multiple installments simply ruined the fun of them. The only movies that held some sway were the Avengers ones. K and I used to book holidays to watch them, and superhero movies are a big hit for me. But otherwise movies are a big no for me. I have caught up with my parents and cannot and do not watch movies any more. In fact I have pretty much given up on all sorts of television shows. This has given me the opportunity to devour numerous books which is a far better engagement I feel.

As an aside I will contradict myself by stating that last week I watched a simply awesome movie called Is Love Enough, Sir? It is a very heart touching and short movie. Definitely worth a watch. It has moved me so much, that I might do a separate post on it.

Right, so that is one thing that is definitely a tick against old age criteria, apart from the obvious physical ones like grey hair and reduced metabolism. Another change that totally utterly baffles me is - I am changing into a morning person!! I was totally a night owl. In fact in one of my older posts I do claim night to be the best time of the day for me. Not any more!! The lockdowns have a bit to do with this. To get some quiet time I used to wake up earlier than my usual time. This has become sort of a habit now. Anything later than 0615 feels like late to me! I have to be downstairs with my coffee by 0630 else I feel like I am running really late. So much so that over the weekends too, I somehow have a sleep disruption around 7 ish. Some weekend mornings I do end up waking up at 0730! I just drag the sleeping hours to get the "weekend feel". But I wake up and all my morning chores are over by 1030! That is definitely not something my younger self would have done. Again I would take it as a positive change.

So for now status check is on balance! I have two obvious negatives : reduced metabolism and greying hair. And two very effective positives : time for books and turning into a morning person. Watch this space as the clock ticks further :)