Its taking a while

 Its been over a week, still the weirdness hasn't gone. We have been through a week of school and work. We have done the usual additional activities over the weekends. We are planning walks over the upcoming sunny days. There is a placid flow of routine. The IPL season has added some excitement to the evenings. The mowing of lawn, the garden benches being out, the clothes being put out for drying - all these activities are something that fill us with joy. We look forward to enjoying the spring and the lengthening of days there of. But this year it seems a bit listless and filled with nothing. It seems a bit empty and mechanical. I am not sure if it is just the hangover of a lovely time in India. Or it is the absence of my parents who have been around for the past 3 years over spring-summer to make the days more fulfilling. Sitting on the outset of the bright months, I am filled with a sense of dread as if autumn was approaching. There seems to be nothing to look forward to. Even booking a trip or planning something seems meaningless. I still look at the time in India and think of my parents, what they would be up to. How the roads would be glistening in the harsh sun and our home would be a little, cool, welcoming shelter. A piece of my heart is still there and it is going to take a while for it to get together.

Have had this before

..when there are too many feelings but I dont think I have the words to express them. 

It has been 5 days since we are back. But the unsettled feeling hasn't gone away. The trip to India was so full and wholesome that it just makes everything seem meaningless. The inching back to school and office routine happened. It was relatively easy to wake up in the morning since our bodies are slightly aligned to the India time. The rush of a normal weekday without the hubbub back in India makes everything seem a bit hollow. 

As with any other time, we keep talking about how to make the next trip, what to do next, few short term plans and many long term plans. We will settle down eventually. We will get our rhythm and pace here eventually. We will get on with things but the lovely memories will always remain as a soothing balm. 

Home is where …

 ….Your favourite people are. And for me, they are here in Bhubaneswar. Our family is immensely closely knit, and it takes no time for us to revel in each other’s company. This trip to my home was a very novel experience for me. I have made previous trips with my kids being little, who needed constant attention. This time around, they are self-reliant. I could spend more time at home and more time with home. I was able to pitch in on some normal activities such as opening the gates for people who needed to come in or put the clothes for drying or make something quickly for us to eat. Most other times, I would be too busy looking after kids to indulge in these basic activities, which bound me so strongly to home. I had never paid much attention to how this home functioned, but this time around, I did. It bound me so tightly with this lovely home. I felt joy and beauty in every aspect of being at home. 

Luckily, K enjoyed Bhubaneswar to the hilt as well. With him, as well, he had never gotten to savour the city. We were mostly escorted by people to destinations or were mostly catered to. This kind of gives a second-degree exposure. This time, thanks to an India phone number and digital payment gateways, it was possible for him and the kids to roam around and have a blast by themselves. So much so that K just loved anything and everything about this stay.

After all this fun comes the pain. The pain of separation. I should be used to it, but I am not. I don’t worry about my parents because they are self-reliant people, and more importantly, they are good people, and I believe God looks after them. But I miss their company, their presence, the small activities with them. I miss their presence. I have always been absent from Bhubaneswar. I have studied and worked elsewhere.  I have been away from home for a long time, but I still feel the agony. Or maybe because I have been away for a long time, I feel the agony. 

Last night, I hugged my mum and cried a lot. I slept near her and spoke till midnight. About nothing in particular. She reminded me how I used to ask her to sleep near me before important exams. It seemed like the same last night. A terrible exam of going away again. 

But that is life, and that is the irony of it. 

The wonderful days rolling on

We were greeted by the great heat of Bhubaneswar. We somehow fitted ourselves into the car and went on our way home. Mummy was waiting super excited. The first thing everyone opted for was a quick shower. Shower done, all refreshed, it was time for the first bout of food. And the food in Bhubaneswar just hits different! It’s the most unique and delicious I have had in the world! Seriously, after having the food here, I don’t savour the food from anywhere else as much.

The evening was relaxing with some IPL and general chit-chat. The next day was pretty much the same degree of relaxation and food 😌 

Sunday we were invited by my auntie. My cousins were all there with their new babies. It was a very emotional reunion after eight years! It was splendid to see them with their little babies and the family growing! My girls loved interacting with their baby cousins. All this went hand in hand with some more gorgeous food 🥳

For the next three days, we had plans to visit the nearby town of Puri. We spent the next three days devouring some awesome out-of-this-world food. Enjoying some of the best and cleanest beaches. Soaking in culture and spirituality. It was a totally unique experience. Something I would love to come back to again and again. 

On returning, we had a few trips around to visit relatives. All was going fine till Chiyaa was hit by a stomach bug. She was fine by herself, but the trips to the toilet were not pleasant. For another lunch invitation, the poor girl wasn’t able to eat much! It was a cause of concern for all, and we consulted my uncle, who is a doctor. He prescribed some medication, and within a day, she improved. We went out shopping, and she just loved it. She was even able to indulge in some street food. 

We are 3.5 days away from wrapping up and returning. It will be painful for all, but I must say we are having the most wholesome experience.

The long journey home

 Finally it was the morning of 2nd April . It was one night before the travel when I was not anxious at all. I slept like a log and woke up with the alarm. I am generally an anxious traveller and am fitful the night before a travel . That was not the case this time . Because of the awesome sleep I was all raring to go and in wonderful spirits . We had a light breakfast and bid goodbye to super sunny for a day Leeds for the next 14 days. 

In Manchester our formalities got sorted real quick. We got some alcohol from the duty free shops and spent our time well reading books. The flight was a new one from the carrier Indigo flying direct to New Delhi. It was to be a gruelling 10 hours 30 mins long flight. We had extra leg room seats. They were relatively quite comfortable. It was not the best of the best flights. The in flight entertainment needed a lot of work. There was also quite mediocre food service. But as such it was worth the money one pays. 

We reached Delhi on schedule at 430am. Immigration though swift was marred by beuracratic red tape. There was some manual form to be filled but though there were many personnel around they did not seem forth coming with help. We being Indians were ok but we saw people from other nationalities struggling. I hope the officials are more proactive in ensuring a smooth landing experience for everyone. 

Immigration done we went through customs and made our way to the domestic terminal. It was a very smooth walk through the canopied walkway. In the domestic terminal K hit on his priorities. Idli.com was the first port of call where we gorged on some delicious idli, vada and curd rice. We spent some time people watching after which it was time to make way to the boarding gate.

As we were approaching there was a call for K. He was escorted by an air line staff . There were some prohibited items in the bag! It came as a surprise but we were assured by the airline staff it would all be ok. A CISF personnel came and checked . It so happened we had got some perfumes and similar for relatives . It ended up being in the same suitcase and the alarm was raised cos it seemed to exceed 2 litres. They checked and calculated and we were given the clean chit . K did confess that the suitcase was packed very well and now it had all been super messed up!

Well that was interesting. After that we queued up for boarding. Suddenly one person came up and asked if a phone belonged to someone . It was mine! I have no idea how it had ended up where it had ended up! But it was like a miracle and I was  super fortunate to find my phone.

The domestic flight was quite good where we slept like dead bugs. We finally landed in Bhubaneswar after close to 24 hours of journey. We were hit by the harsh 35 degree centigrade heat upon emerging from 18 degrees in the flight. The sight of Papa at the gates made me realise I was finally home!

All agog

 I intended to write this yesterday as a final adieu to the long drawn March :) Though I had the time, I did not have the mental state to pen my thoughts. So anyways March is done and though it took its own sweet time, I felt I had a lot going on and I appreciate all the things that happened to me ( the anarchy in the wider world is something that is so messed up, no single month can make or mar it)

Since I last wrote things have definitely happened. I cleared the exam I was intending to write. We were getting some bathroom renovation we had undertaken and it was all wrapped up. It was in full usage till one day I went in and flushed the toilet. There was a loud noise of water flowing. We panicked and called the builders. The plumber told he would come in immediately. While he was on his way, there was a leakage in the kitchen. It was pure madness. But once our plumber came in, he was able to fix it in 15 minutes or so. He gave an explanation for the occurrence, and it made sense. :) I will leave the technical details from this post, but as a developer my kudos to him for having fixed a bug in production!

My close friend from Nigeria was making a trip to surprise her dad on his 80th birthday. Her brother and her had an elaborate ruse planned. I go on a weekly walk with her and used to swap notes about our upcoming trips. We were both super excited for each other and for our respective trips. It was amazing to have one final walk with her before she started on her journey.

As our trip to India loomed over, packing started getting real. I had to start cooking less amount of food so that there was absolutely no leftovers :D It was difficult because I am a fan of meal prep. So my natural instinct is to cook a bit more so that there is always some spare for any mid schedule eating. So curbing my natural way was hard. Plus I like coming back to a clean place so there was a lot of cleaning and scouring, ironing and additional tasks which made the run up to the holidays a bit harder.

After a couple of cancellations we are finally making a trip tomorrow. A trip to Bhubaneswar after 8 years. The girls remember nothing , they don’t remember the house , they don’t remember the layout . They have no idea what to expect and are filled with excitement and anxiousness. I am sure my parents back home are on the edge of their seats. There will be a lot of meeting of extended families and second cousins and a lot of eating and a lot of experiences which will be enriching for a lifetime. I am super excited. Sometimes to the extent of being overwhelmed. Its not a bad kind of overwhelming feeling, but a good kind, a pleasant kind :) 

What a March

 This March has been a bit of a tizz. There was just so much happening. Yeah there are a million memes regarding this on social media. But really there was so much happening in the month of March, that it seemed like a year to me :) 

My company prides on being a tech for good company. As a result social values are highly ingrained into our ethos, being something that is encouraged from everyone. In the beginning of the month there was a chance to volunteer in a school to give a presentation about careers in tech. I love teaching and engaging with young minds. It is something I have been naturally drawn towards, perhaps given the huge number of teachers in my family. So I was not going to miss this opportunity. And the cherry on the cake, it was in Chiyaa's school. Of course! I was going to go for it. It was a wonderful presentation which made me feel quite fulfilled at the end of it.

With our imminent travel to Bhubaneswar in April, it was finally all feeling real. The suitcases were brought down from the attic, the clothes were collected, lists were made and last minute shopping commenced. In the midst of all this anxious excitement, what we did not need was the world leaders to start a new war. With the war came flight reschedules! I did mention that it had been rescheduled once and it was cause of much panic. Fortunately deferring a January problem to April was a good thing. Cos this time the rescheduling has given us much more time to make our transit. K definitely heaved a huge sigh of relief. So did I but let me paint him as the more panic stricken one :) 

Work was pure madness with some tricky bits being implemented by me not getting the adequate support. But we eventually made it after what seemed like a nightmare of changes and reviews and changes and reviews :) While all this was going on, I decided to add extra pressure on myself by signing up for an AWS certification. I was working towards it and somehow in spite of breakneck work had managed to get some momentum. I did not want this to break with our trip to India and me having to start it all over again. So I booked my exam which meant my evening were full of stress going through the study material and giving tests while thinking about packing and flights and work and kids and what not. You get the drift :D While my mind was going through all this, my body decided to throw in the towel as well. So I have an auto-immune condition called uveitis which results in me getting a redness in one eye. Its essentially my body attacking the outer white layer of my eye (very specific taste I know!) This can become serious if not treated quickly. I had a bad episode in 2021 and I thought it had been laid to rest. But then last Thursday it seemed to be back. Again with all the juggling balls up in the air, I did not want to loose sight (haha seems like a joke when I read) . So a call to the doctors and I was urgently seen by the Ophthalmologist.   It was diagnosed as another episode of the same and I was put on steroids for the next week. I was satisfied with an early diagnosis and remedy and hopefully should be all good by the time India comes calling :) 

Well after this proper madness of a month I am really looking forward to the 2 weeks of rest in India. I know it will not be a rest, there will be meeting family and lots of eating and chatting and the weather will be a test in its own. But I am so looking forward to it finally and hope that it all goes well.