One of a kind experience

 So I did something I had never done before. K and I left the girls and went away! 

Now for the details...

K and I work for the same company. Every year we have an away weekend, where the employees are taken to a fancy spa resort or a retreat to have the Friday afternoon and Saturday to chill with fellow colleagues. And also there are the usual company updates. But there is also unlimited bar, a total of six free meals, and the scintillating opportunity to wine and dine with fellow comrades of the workforce.

None of this is my jam AT ALL. I hate company updates when I am listening to them remotely; imagine listening to them in a big hall, live! I would not hang out with my colleagues if my life depended on it. They are colleagues, they are to troubleshoot bugs, to approve my code, and to say good morning and bye in meetings. I have zero interest in wining and dining with them. Speaking of wining and dining, I don't drink alcohol. And there are only so many cups of coke and coffee one can consume! In fact, food is not my motivator ever. I can happily live on tea and toast with butter till the end of days.

But…all of this is K’s jam, totally. He is not a social butterfly, but he likes the company of others. He likes hanging out with people and finding out what's up! He has been in the company for five years and has met a fair share of folks. He likes the general catch-ups. He likes food. He likes drinks! Beer in particular. There are a few boxes ticked there, but then despite it, there are moments when he's left alone. When the catch-up dries out, when the beer has been drunk. And to fill this emptiness, this time he had me! He did cajole me to come last year as well. But I set a firm no since I was relatively new to the company. This time around, love won. Yeah, the man wanted my company for the away weekend, and I was being pushed to say yes. My sister came in as the biggest enabler. She was like, “Go once, you may like it and would regret missing it. You may not like it and would be happy to have tried. Either way, the win is yours!”  OK, that is very sound logic. On the emotional side, I know my kids love her and gel really well with her. She adores them, and I was certain she would ensure they would be spoilt sick. So I acquiesced.

The Friday for the travel came up. We had opted for a car ride since we did not want to be tied in with company transport. The car would give us the flexibility to drive back under some unforeseen condition. My sis came in in the morning of Friday. She had the meals planned. There was salmon and pasta for Friday dinner followed by boba tea. Saturday, they had plans to go over to the city centre, have some yummy burgers at a new chicken place, shop for some craft materials, have some Japanese pancakes, and make their way home. It sounded such a swell plan that I was jealous. 

While they had this weekend lined up, K and I made our way to the venue. It was not far from our place, but the road works and speed restrictions made the journey longer than it needed to be. We reached just in time for the all-hands meet.  Since it is a low-hierarchy company, we were sitting with our co-owner. He was a real chill guy with whom we had some lovely conversations. He was the one who had interviewed me eight years ago when I had first tried for this company. I had not cleared it then, but the company and his ethos had left a mark on me. I would have loved to state this to him, but then shyness and the inclination to remain quiet took over.

Once the all-hands meet was over, we went to our room. Boy, it was fancy!  We had some time to chill before the evening event of some award ceremony and dinner. I caught up with the girls who were enjoying their boba! Once ready for the evening, we made our way to the hall again. The food was horrible to say the least. But I bounced with some people whom I had worked with when I started. We had some quick catch-ups. After that, I was ready to call it quits. I made my way to our room while K socialised for a bit longer. 

The next day we had the sauna booked. People could opt for various activities and we were lucky enough to get the sauna. It was a bit daunting to strut around in swimwear in front of coworkers but after a point the body shame went away. And K and I concentrated on having a relaxing session. After that we worked up the appetite for lunch. K was keen for a walk after lunch but all I could think of was a nap. It was super refreshing to take a nap after the sauna and the food. I slept guilt-free for God knows how long. 

Once I woke, I was quite refreshed. K and I decided to take a walk through the sprawling grounds. We ended up taking a longer than intended walk since we got lost! Seven kilometres under our belt, we made our way home 😂 We came across some cute cats and had a hell of a time petting them. Detox done, it was time for the last supper with colleagues, with some karaoke and other entertainment I was least interested in!

Wrapping up dinner, I was looking forward to heading back home. My girls had had an amazing weekend, pampered by their aunty and having all the freedom (within reason). I had a different experience. It was an all-expenses-paid luxury stay, which was one of a kind. But it was not entirely my cup of tea and perhaps not something I would do again. But I was happy to have done it once!

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The first fortnight of the ber months

 Done with a fortnight of the "ber" months. It was only recently that the months from September to December are called the ber  months. It seems obvious but when I found there is an official term for it, I was quite impressed. So I am going to use it where I can :)

The kids went on to school in the first week of September leaving a much quieter house. It was a nice short week which allowed us to settle into the routine. The Friday of the first week, K and I undertook some volunteering work at the Leeds Docks. There is a charity which maintains the area around the docks. There was some lime mortar repointing to be done. Though it sounds like a hugely technical activity, it was quite idiot proof. It was satisfying getting down on our hands and knees and getting the lime mortar within the pavements. It was tiring on hindsight :) though while doing it we did not feel any fatigue. The weekend promised good weather and we made a trip to the nearby city of York. York has been made hugely popular as a result of Instagram. It has blossomed into a foodie's hub. By itself it is quite a clean and quaint place. We undertook the journey to York mostly to savour the viral food places. And must say none of them disappointed us. They were viral for all the right reasons which is nt the case with most places that go berserk on the internet. It was quite a refreshing weekend leaving us recharged to get on with the rest of manic week.

The first full week post summer holidays seemed daunting. But it somehow had things flowing nicely. By God's grace the rains did not cause much mayhem. The pick ups and drops went swimmingly. At the end of which we felt invigorated to take on another weekend activity. As I had mentioned the girls have become quite used to long walks. So we decided to undertake the longish walk to the city centre. My sister hosted us for lunch after which we went shopping for some craft supplies. Inevitably we got distracted and ended up shopping for clothes first :) Craft shopping went meh cos we didn't find what we were looking up. To make up, we decided on cakes and coffee. Which was great call!

We made our way home and it was an amazing Saturday and were looking forward to the Sunday which would bring in the preparations for Ganesh Puja on Monday. This time around my sister was also with us, and we put in a united front to prepare for the Big One's birthday. We decided the menu, added in the decorations and happily waited for the Monday. The food came out amazing, the girls were enthusiastically involved. It  was a truly lovely Ganesh Puja.

The first fortnight of the ber months have gone well by the grace of God. Looking forward to the rest.

Summer again

 This summer holiday has been unique in so many ways. Touchwood, it has been easy. It started off looking quite boring and uneventful. But in due course, I was able to savour this stage of the kids where they are way more independent. They would wake up, grab some breakfast, and get on with some activity. Be it reading, playing a video game, or doing some craft work. They found the treasure trove of Netflix games this summer. And it was a full-on family activity playing a bunch of those games. K, to be honest, is very competitive when it comes to these games. 

Since the girls have built some stamina, we were able to go on way longer walks. So instead of short walks every evening to keep them engaged, we could enjoy really long walks. Be it in the area of a trip to the city centre via walk or be it a trek. It was quite wonderful to have the company of these young girls and walk around. There were days we would chat about random things. Other times, they would listen to their choice of music. Again, a huge advantage of having them in this stage is that they are quite independent to have their own taste of music so that they are not dragged to listen to someone else's playlist. We also use this opportunity to swap music titles of each other’s favourite artists. 

Since Chiyaa is nearly 15, my sis and I spoilt her by watching Squid Games. It was a really thrilling and enjoyable watch. Again, reaping the benefit of having a bit older kids is that we can enjoy a lot of shows together. We have been regularly watching an anime called The Way of the Househusband. This, in turn, inculcated a desire to cook, and we have been trying to dish out a few of the items. A huge success was cheese croquettes :) Talking of dishes, the girls have been keeping super busy cooking, baking, and Chiyaa has become a pro in making ice creams. They are really thriving in making different dishes and enjoy feeding people around them. They have also tried to keep up with their instrument practice, though it has been the toughest habit to push this summer.

I have seen such a progression from the days when I used to dread the holidays and keeping kids entertained. We have come to a point where we thoroughly enjoy them. Apart from our plans we have been graced with celestial events such as the solar eclipse and the Perseid meteor shower. We love the raucousness in the house, the mess in the kitchen and bedroom, the absolute anarchy in the living room, and the total fun in spending time together. As the lovely six weeks of switched-off alarms, lie-ins in the morning, playdates, walks, shopping, lots of cooking, and lots of eating draw to an end, all I can do is wait for the next one next year :) 

Moma

 The summer vacations are on for my girls. For me, as a child, summer vacations were a trip to Cuttack to Moma's house. Moma - my maternal grandma. Our family used to make the overnight journey from Rourkela to Cuttack to spend the summer at her house. My cousins used to come down as well; they were days filled with games in the big house, eating enormous amounts of food, and totally pigging out on mangoes.

Moma was a school teacher, and some days she used to take me to her school. Because I had nothing better to do. :) I was adored by the staff, her colleagues, and her students. I sat in the staff room with other teachers and spoke about my school and teachers in Rourkela. Someone would order a chocolate for me, someone else would order an ice cream, while yet another person would get some samosas. It was pure royal treatment. She used to take me to her classrooms as well, and the children there just loved me. Moma taught the higher classes, so most of her students were older than me. The girls treated me as if a golden retriever had walked in. I was totally adored; they fought over wanting me to sit with them. Someone would give me a fancy eraser, and yet another girl would give me a little notebook. I felt utterly elated at this special treatment.

The way to Moma's school was through a bazaar. It was full of all sorts of stuff, and Moma would stop to buy some vegetables and groceries on her way back. I loved how the shopkeepers all knew her and were so respectful of her. Being a teacher, she was referred to as didi by them all. I would say that was my first impression of true woman empowerment. My Moma, a petite widow in a white saree, navigating the big bazaar, bargaining, shopping, and even deflecting big bulls (real bulls, the bazaar was full of them, and I used to be super scared of them. But Moma never flinched and would deftly manoeuvre and come out from the shops with her purchase.

She was an amazing cook and would make the most amazing fare without using onions and garlic. She was an adept storyteller as well. She used to regale us kids with stories of Akbar and Birbal and from the Panchatantra. And once we had had our fill of them, she used to tell us stories of her life. Of her time growing up in Bombay and having the most fashionable life there. She used to tell of her touring days with her father and then later with her husband, our grandpa. And of course there were stories of her life with our larger-than-life grandpa.

Moma was inspirational, fun, and feisty. She had a few properties let out and she used to handle all the tenants and their requests for upkeep alongside chasing them for payments. She single-handedly raised three independent and feisty daughters who could take on the world. She supported their careers and established them. Moma was like no one I knew from her generation; she was well-spoken in English and Hindi (which is not our native tongue), she was a working woman, and she was a lovely, loving lady.

I used to cry a whole lot leaving her home and coming back to Rourkela. We used to take a rickshaw to the bus stand, and I would look back at Moma, the small lady in a white saree, against the huge house. I used to feel sad that she would be all by herself in that house, but I also used to feel proud that she could handle it all. When we were kids, we were asked quite often if my mum had brothers because having a mama was a big deal. But we used to say no, we have Moma :)

But time works its weird hand, and even the most strong edifices crumble. As days went on, her health deteriorated. She had to leave her big house and come and stay with my mum and my aunt. She made her peace, but she was always resilient and self-reliant. It was a pity to see her become a shell of her former self. But then it was such a pleasure to see her fiery self back again. When I met her in April this year, she chastised me for not wearing a bangle in one hand (as every married woman should!). She took on K and enquired why he had undergone the pain of getting tattoos. Her brilliance was still there under the patina of age.

My Moma breathed her last on Saturday, the 25th of July. But she still lives on - in the cardigans she knitted that are still in top condition and in spite of being passed down, are still wearable. In the independent stubborn streak her daughters have. In my own Chiyaa's unruly black shock of hair, which is the exact replica of Moma's. She will live in my thoughts as the true champion of women's power, where a lot just talk the talk. She will live in my memories as the one who gave those wonderful summer vacations. She will live on as the one and only Moma!

We have kick off

We have moved into the Summer Holidays. This year feels so different from last year. Last year I was facing redundancy and was on the lookout for a new job. By God's grace I had landed upon one and was about to accept it when some issues caused me to restart my hunt and I ended up in my current role. It is going to be a year in this job and it has been the most exciting and unique experience. This year is also unique in the fact that are no grandparents to be around and add to the life and joy of the days. We have always had K or my parents through the summer months. But this year without any of them, it will be different.

Pumpki's holidays started from Monday. She had a nice relaxed time just lazing around. She was a bit clueless without her sister, but was also determined to not do anything constructive and literally stare into space than be productive. We let her be because as she claimed it was a break finally after all the days of work. K did take her for cycling rounds in the neighbourhood and it was an amazing fun time for her.

Once Chiyaa's holidays started on Wednesday, it was the real deal. The alarms were promptly turned off. The wake up time pushed back. The girls slept like babies till 11am. But then lacking a proper motive and anything motivating, we can become restless and annoyed. And I could see that happening with Pumpki. Since it was day3, she was getting to the point of being bored. That's when I penned some mandatory activities which included reading, exercising, practising their instrument and generally tidying up their room. This was met with huuuuugeeeeee protest. And the protest was met with just as repressive telling off. There were lectures dished out by K and me. There was the air of resentment but I think eventually they saw the point. By evening as we were watching a documentary on TV, they realised the point of the diatribe. Peace was established, it was decided to follow a routine from next day.

Today, the girls have been cleaning their room. They have been playing with each other. They have been generally productive and peaceful and relaxed. Week 1 day 4, all seems calm on the front :)

Upcoming holidays

 The summer holidays are upon us again. In a week, the girls will finish their current year group and settle down for six weeks of relaxation. The last week at school has been madness, to say the least. Chiyaa has three days of summer school in a maths-focused school. She gets to be there and visit the city university and make a trip to a maths museum and activity centre. It is a huge opportunity. But it is also a whole lot of things to keep tabs on. Have to be mindful of what she's doing when, any changes in pick-up, selecting her meals on the days out, to name a few. She has one day of acting in a play by Shakespeare. She needs to be dropped in early and picked up late on the day. We made all the arrangements but in the midst forgot to buy tickets for the show itself. Got that sorted and now even we are all ready for the show!

These are secondary school challenges; primary is mayhem on another level. Last week, day one, Pumpki has a trip to a local bookstore as part of her school book club, then a ukulele performance in the afternoon, and I have to remember she's going to go in non-uniform to celebrate 400 years of the city.  Tuesday, it's tug of war, hence PE kit. Wednesday, it's water fight in PE kit and a change of clothes. Thursday, non-uniform again and board games day, so send her with games. And phew, Friday is one normal day!

All this with work and the heatwave has kept us on our toes. But the pang is the absence of parents. For the past three years, my parents were here. They added a degree of calm, love, joy, and happiness, which seems to be missing. It all seems boring without them.  There is an undercurrent of something not quite fulfilled. Looking forward to the  bittersweet six weeks 🥹

Gratitude

 Summer has officially started and all I can do is count my blessings.

* for the challenging work that keeps me busy

* for the stage I am in life where my kids are quite independent. I don't have to be the mom who is managing to be a developer. I am     finally a developer who is also a mom.

* for having a roof over my head and meals on the table while so many people are struggling with job searches, cost of living crisis and wars

* for having the love and affection of friends and family who genuinely care for me

* for having the time, the capability and the opportunity to exercise and indulge in hobbies

* for the ability to be able to engage in volunteering and charity and many of them with the kids

* for the health and wellness of the people I care about