The warmth of family

K left for India last Saturday. My parents and Lichie are here with me since. And I must tell this has been the most unique 7 days of my life. And there are 4 more to go before the kids and I start to India. 

I have to do the drops which was K s responsibility. It adds an extra task to the day and makes it a bit more hectic. The bit I dislike the most is bidding them goodbye. Pick ups are a much better task when they come all happy and running telling tales of the day. Once the kids are dropped at school, it's the four of us. A proper throwback to our school days. It is very different. Those days 30 years ago were full of struggle. Both our parents were working, we kids were stressed with school work. Things have taken such a turn now. We are older and have so much to converse with our parents. Along with work there  are cups of tea and random discussions on things like why are pension ages increasing, what is the role of opposition and many many more.

We all go for some sort of exercise, not together but around the same time. It is lovely to come back all refreshed and then relish the delicious lunch mummy makes. She makes the simplest but tastiest stuff. Once the kids are back there is the usual running around after them. We play chess, monopoly,watch some documentary or again just start chatting.

As the days wind down, I can't help but treasure them. By some weird twists and turns God has brought me to this juncture which I never thought was imaginable. I am with my most favourite people. 

Not all gloom and doom

 My last post had roomie dear quite worried. Yes things are going a bit awry, but there are always silver linings. Even when it snows! This winter, we did not have any snow.  There were cold snaps, there were Arctic winds, but no  snow. Till finally in March, while we are in cusp of spring, it snowed. Again, Arctic winds were blamed for the phenomenon. But who cares about the why. We are concerned with the what to do with it. :) 

We have recently got a sleeping bag. Our intention is to probably camp in the garden in the summers. But well who has seen summer when its snowing in March :D So we offered the girls if they want to be warm and cosy in the sleeping bag on the floor of our room. Such excitement among the lil ones at the idea of trying something different. We 4 were all cosied up like a family of hedgehogs with the heating on in full blast. We had a truly tropical environment going on over there :D

The next day, the school closed at 1345 because of bad weather. The girls were over the moon! Who doesn't like a shorter work day :D They came in, had mug fulls of hot chocolate and then it was TV first before anything. After the extra screen time, it was back to the usual rigmarole of wrapping up for the day.

But we woke up to a ton of good news! There was a lot of snow and the school was closed due to bad weather. The kids as expected got ready in their thickest coats and got playing on the snow :) It was all going too well, till there was a fight regarding the snow man. All went down hill from there. Kids were bickering, crying and since K and I had to work, we were joining in with shouting as well. Not good. But I had a back up. We decided to goto my sister's place! (Not sure if I mentioned but she has a place of her own in Leeds and my annoying parents are with her :D ) So without further ado, we went to her place. It was a surprise and what a pleasant surprise it was! It was wonderful again to work in the sunny confines of her home with the sunny vibes of family cheering up a really cold day. Small joys, small wins :) 

Not going well

 This year has not been going great so far. There are far too many issues on the home and work front that keep me quite anxious. They are not earth shattering or life altering things, but just constant, persistent issues and scenarios that make me unhappy. I get head aches. Once awake at night, I find it difficult to get back to sleep. I was talking to a friend and she said, the added pressure to be resilient is not good. So take the chance to be vulnerable. Not sure what might be the right drift of things. Hopefully things pan out better 🤞

Reach for help

 I pride myself in being an upbeat,optimistic person. I tend to find solutions or distractions out of problems. 

But for the past few days I was just sad. There was an all permeating sense of grief. The usual methods of making myself feel better were not working. Nothing felt good at all. I didn't feel like exercising or listening to music. The tears were relentless.

I took the day off sick. I could have tried harder, but I realised that it was just not done. I took the time off. I chatted with a dear friend and felt much better for sure. I knew my job wasn't making me any happier so I went ahead and applied for another. I know it was perhaps a rash move, but it was something I wanted to do. Then I exercised a bit and definitely felt better.

I am so glad that we live in  a day and age where mental health is given importance. I feel blessed that I was able to book the time to step away from work and the demands of it. I feel blessed that I have the support system of a small but sturdy network of friends and family. 

But I also wish that everyone is able to avail it. The small joy of having someone to talk to, a shoulder to lean on. There I am sure ample avenues to talk to someone when in need, someone outside the network of friends and family. If anyone reading this, feels the need to talk to me, please feel free. The feeling of acute sadness, when nothing feels nice and one seems to lack the energy to do the basic tasks can be quite debilitating. There need not be a concrete reason for it or there can be a mixture of many. It is not a pleasant feeling to silently sit and suffer. I hope everyone realises when they are in need of a good talk, when they are in need of a mental break. And I hope everyone who is dealing  with it, a speedy recovery. 

Parents are annoying indeed!

 You remember when I wrote about my super duper annoying parents? Well they have proven to be more so with the passing years. 

My sister had gone to India to visit them during the Christmas vacations. During one of the video calls, I mentioned that it had been nearly years since I had mutton curry and had in fact forgotten the taste of it. Not that I am a bit mutton eater or even a non veg eater for that matter. 

But it was something my parents registered. The day before my sister was to start, Papa got the best mutton he could find. Mummy sweated for hours to make her signature curry. They froze it so that it remained fresh for the more than 24 hours it had to spend in different modes of transport to cross continents. And finally I had a taste of mummy made most deletable mutton curry ever! Every spoon tasted of love and concern and the undying commitment my parents have for their kids. In our younger days they did their bit of guiding and scolding. But now that we are adults, when they pamper us with these small but super meaningful gestures, it feels like divinity itself. No one spoils an adult like their parents!!

Cant help but reminisce

 The total bliss of Christmas holidays are over. And I can't help but look back at the wonderful time that went by. It went by in the blink of an eye, it seems. 

The kids' holidays kickstarted on the 19th of December and since then the 'holiday spirit' kicked in. There was no getting up right on time, getting their breakfast, hair and uniform fixed and rushing out of the door before logging into work. And then the madness of the evening with the pickup and the meal preps and what not. The mornings and evenings were way more relaxed and that for me is the best part. 

We as often is the norm got an early finish on the 23rd which was the last working day before Christmas. And then there were some more phone calls to home and general relaxing since I had an invitation from a friend for dinner that night. My friend is Romanian and vegan. And she had made some wonderful stuff combining those two characteristics. I was wary of the kids since they are very fussy eaters. But they fared amazingly. She also presented them some kid friendly mock-tails and adult looking desserts which pleased them to no end!

We do not do much over Christmas but this year we had plans for an early celebration for Pumki's birthday. That warranted a cake! So on Christmas eve we marched to the nearby shopping centre to get cream and cocoa powder which were essential ingredients. On the way we met a few strangers and it was a very pleasant feeling to wish random people. 

We had two ginormous lego sets for the kids as Christmas gift. Since they would take a load of time to build, they were game for them to be handed over a day before Christmas. The excitement was just awesome to see them unravel the gifts and get building on them. They enjoy lego a lot and it is a very immersive gift. Thanks to them being tied up with it, I was able to do a ton of cleaning in the house and also catch up on 2 Hindi movies! I generally dont watch movies since I cannot give the time for it. A disjointed movie is not a good experience to have. But this time I was able to carve out the hours to watch Doctor G and Freddy. And the best part was, they were very good movies. Two that I would definitely recommend. 

Christmas Eve and Christmas day were more or less hibernation mode for us. There were four of us in the living room, the heating on: K playing video games, girls on lego and me reading a book or watching the movies. It was so deeply pleasurable. It was just immensely joyful to feel that warm wrap of family. It was good that we were having this restful time, since there were some busy days coming up :D 

Toodaloo 2022

 This time of the year comes around so quickly doesn't it? Literally seems like yesterday I was penning this for 2021. And we are about to draw the curtains on 2022. 

I have savoured many things in 2021. Since I am typing this from a hotel room it makes sense to highlight the best thing to happen this year. It was the trip to Iceland. It was to be a trip of dreams..something we could only imagine  given the fact that Iceland is quite an expensive place. But an of the cuff discussion led to prices being checked, with plans being made, with holidays being booked and a trip being made. It was the best place I have been to. It was tiring, rejuvenating, unique and spiritual. I have written many posts about it and I could keep waxing eloquent still. I had not experienced anything like Iceland and I am grateful to God to have brought it to me. The amazing trip came with its dark cloud too. The kids didn't like it as much as we would have wanted them to. :( Especially Pumpki who simply hated it. She is not yet game for the long tours that are a part of covering such exotic places.

We were able to make a trip to the Jersey islands which were another unique place to have been. It was deeply educative to be through the numerous museums and forts. And we managed to ring in Pumpki's birthday with a trip to London's natural history museum. The wannabe paleantologist deserved this as her birthday gift. It was every bit fun for Chiyaa and the adults. 

Talking about trips, the one I hated was those to my work place which had been made mandatory twice a week from March. When lockdown hit in 2020, working  from home became a part of life. Going back to working at actual desks in formal attire seemed like a thing that happened to other people  by late 2021. But 2022 saw the 'opening' up of places and the return of normalcy as defined pre-pandemic. I was not game for returning to office  and had to start looking for places which had a flexible attitude towards it. I was not very keen on carpet  bombing my resume through job sites either because I loved the place where I worked, loved the people I worked with, loved the stuff I worked on and also loved the pay I got for doing the stuff I loved. Looking for another place satisfying all these criteria was going to be hard. So I took the delicate approach of sending my resume across to ex-collleagues who were more or less friends. And one shot clicked and I ended up getting a new job in July! 

Anything new comes with a ton of re-adjustment. On the surface most things were hunky dory. But I had too many good stuff  happening at my previous work place. It would have been impossible for any new job to match up to it all. At the moment, I am quite dissatisfied with a lot of things and harbour a keen desire to move on. But the work from home is too luscious a carrot to forsake, so for the near future I am sticking with that as incentive. 

Talking of incentives, K and I bought a pair of adjustable dumbbells as an incentive to workout. And somehow they have been the best thing ever! We have encouraged each other to carry on stenght training. But I must confess we have neglected the cardio aspect of fitness. The new year we both plan on coming back to running and improving on stats there. New year comes with many more plans too. There are plans for the house. There are plans for a few more trips. There are plans with family. There are plans with friends. 2022 had taught me, not everything every time goes to plan. But hoping for the best and mentally preparing for any consequence helps. Here is hoping to anyone passing by this post that 2023 brings to fruition all the pleasant plans. And if some plans don't work out, may it just be a pleasant learning exercise. Happy New Year!