Gyaan as we turn one

Tomorrow we turn one - K and I.
20.1.2008- was when you guys lost your independence :) thats what mil told us in the morning! I said - No. No loosing independence, it was the day we starved while everyone was having good food around!

Seems a little while ago but its been one whole year since we have been married. And this little while has been quite a while! :) Initially we were apart for a couple of months, when we used to crib and fight over the most trivial of things. So much so, we started using a Year Planner from India Today to keep a record for the fights we were having. As I look back the initial months till June are red months(the cake being taken by this silly billy fight) while there were some real dry patches for instance Aug, Sept, Oct, Nov!! :) 4 months and not a single fight worth recording.

Since my sister in law was with us for a good part of last year, for her delivery, it was a merry family of 4. We had loads of fun with elaborate north Indian and south Indian dishes being cooked, for the whole time that she was around. Her presence and later the baby's cushioned in a lot of the days. Many days when we used to be sad/depressed/exasperated or plain bored, the cherubic face of Nitu would lift our spirits. And since we were 4, there was always company. If sil had to go to the doc, K could accompany her while I could be with mil to help with house chores. If K and mil had to run some errands, sil and I used to go for her daily walk in the evening.

The latter half of the year was full of small trips here and there - to attend a wedding here, to meet a friend there, a pleasure trip for the heck of it - but the jewel in the crown was the trip 3 of us made to my parents place. It was a good span of 10 days spent luxuriously with my family, when we visited Puri and Chilika, met the whole bunch of relatives and ate a lot of good food. So much so, once we returned, even K was quite dazed for a while and took some time to get his bearings back!

And now that we complete our paper anniversary, I am very happy that I was with K all the while for the past year. I used to feel for some time, that I gave up a gleaming career which was taking shape to move to be with K. And the many bitter moments in the initial phase of understanding each other was very patchy - which used to strengthen that belief of mine. Knowing each other is very different from living with each other. And I am glad, that we were able to do it sooner. Many times, simple things add to the joy of life, like planning how to re model the drawing room so that the LCD tv that we plan to buy in a million years can be fitted at a vantage point. Or planning from Wednesday itself how to spend the weekend, but ending up being at home like lazy sloth bears, with the whole food pipe choking up with aloo paranthas and raita! Or pulling each others leg as to who finished off all the chikki from the jar which had mil in splits.

Today as I look back, I feel, if I would nt have been back with K, I would nt have known what I would have missed. I see so many long distance marriages now a days, thanks to IT. A friend of mine is gonna complete a good year in 7 more days, of being apart from her husband. And I see another friend going on the same path because they have no plans in the offing which would make them be at the same place. This fact hit me hard as I was reading "Message in a Bottle". At one point Jeb Blake says," Things are different now, in our days, a man used to love a woman and bring her home to be his wife. Now a days, each one has a career and a life to look to, one of you has to move" - This was in context of his son being a country lad, loving a lady from the cities. I somehow see this rampant pattern now. The partners dont make immediate decisions, and keep postponing the move in anticipation of something or the other - the next appraisal, the next project, the next hike, the next promotion, and the whole 9 yards. Each next brings along another next and there is no end to it. After some time, the forced bachelorhood becomes habit and in due course more enjoyable. And one fine day, to take things in their hands, either one has to shift - which ends up being a jarring change rather than a smooth transition. I feel, the sooner one start living a married life, the better it is - for life is short, why take chances?