Undecided

I am a very indecisive person.
Due to this trait I make my own life miserable.
I am a stage where the time ahead is a big bold Question Mark(make it font size 48).
And I hate being like this.
On one hand I would like to spend some time in my current firm and learn the stuff properly and leave. Things are seeming bright here with my career moving on the right track( I know one can never be sure with the big bosses, they are expert at giving the shock waves when least expected). More over its a place with a unique work environment which kind of makes me look forward to coming here everyday. On the other hand, there is a colleague of mine whom I have to face every day,and who irritates me to the core. I would love having another offer and shoving my papers to the VP.
Some times I feel I should stay in this project and become a valued resource. Then the promotion will be a bit secure. At other times I feel what is the point of getting expertise in one system; it will just stagnate me. I should explore beyond and the only way to do so is to move out from this place.
Some times I feel, I should take rest and just enjoy the relaxing period that stretches in front of me. I feel lethargic to study again and brush up my concepts and go for interviews on weekends. But then I feel, whats the point dummy. You should be making all the effort. You should be driving yourself. What good do you get by wasting time? So move on. Make all the effort.No pain no gain right?
But some how as of now I don't feel super charged for anything.
I am not getting the full enthu to move.
K says take the first step and then you will get moving. What is stopping you from taking the first step. Only when you take the first step you will know where you stand. You will get your confidence back. And you will see a clearer path. You will know if you have to stay in your current organisation.
I wish I had everything clear cut in my life. Without it, I feel I am running after a mirage. And it might be just a futile waste of energy and time.
I wish everything was planned and all set perfectly. I am hating this stage where all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle are scattered. And I don't even know what picture I have to build.


Comments

Abhishek Khanna said…
life's like this..
i read the words of some great man(jisko log quote karte hain :D )
"if we could just peep into the next day, we all would die outta heart attacks"
sometimes its good that life is such a jigsaw.. thats the fun about it.. find the missing links.. find the broken peices.. imagine a picture in ur head n yea the pieces will fall in the right place to form that picture..
Amrita said…
Well said Abhishek.. hope i have the patience and endurance to go on with all this uncertainty
Ashu said…
Agree with K. Cherrie, all the places are same, though i exactly dont know the sector you work in, but assuming its same as mine or put it this way if i were to tell you things at IT, then everything is same -- lampooned bosses, irrant colleagyes who piss you to the hilt and the urge to jump but a stopping force to face the storm and become a key person in the project.......

The key is to strike a right balance....stick around and fight it out!!!!
Ashu said…
And even if you drop your papers here and move to new org, then no guarantee things would be better from current place, may be good or may be even worse!!!!!!
rOhit said…
Thats a very good post and a big reason that I could actually so much relate myself into the scene. :)

But then again, we just need to hang in on. :)
Agree with Abhishek.

Amrita, I have replied to your comments on my blog, I don't think a single person can contribute towards the welfare of the poor in a magnified manner, so that their lives take a turn towards the good.

-Sam.
bluecoffeemug said…
trust me, u can't better me at this ;)
Ceruleus said…
In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond... - Gibran
big bold Question Mark(make it font size 48). :D hehehehhe.

Dnt worry re, things wud be Fine..!! U only had told me 1s 2 have patience and be optimistic! SO now ur turn 2 appy dis on urself!! Plz Relax!

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