It's a wrap

 New year's eve again. That time of the year when 12 months seem to have zipped past and it seems like yesterday that it was last year.

This year has been one of certain uncertainties for me. Sitting in 2022 I was sure of the things that were going to happen. There was a trip to India, there was renovation work for our house, there was Chiyaa starting secondary school, my parents visiting UK, my sis moving to her own place and then a holiday. That was a bit long list but we were uncertain of how things would pan out.

First up my parents arrived in February which coincided with my sis moving from our house to a rented house of her own. It was a different experience for her getting everything sorted independently. It was also a tug of war of emotions. There was a desire and longing for all of us to stay together. But then mummy and papa were keen on supporting my sister as well who was setting her own place. It was a bit of a roller coaster of emotions the meeting and parting every week. But eventually we started getting used to it.

April we made the trip to India. It was an epic trip with us managing to stay at Bengaluru for the major chunk of our holiday. It enabled me to meet up so many of my friends! It was an amazing and utterly soul soothing experience.

We came back from the trip to have Chiyaa face her Standard Assessment Tests which is like a public exam. She did quite well and it was milestone for her. With that over we had to look at her starting secondary school in September and a whole bunch of changes to our routine. The two kids would goto two schools which would start and finish at different times. It would throw our work patterns a bit out of whack. We used to brainstorm literally every day how we would go about the whole thing. But when September started it just wham! naturally fell into place!!! K would drop her and I Pumpki. On good weather days they walked and K would await mid way and we would drop Pumpki together. Else it was a car drop for Chiyaa. Most days she walked back by herself which for me was a major letting go. Pumpki had her first year in school without her elder sister in the playground. I saw her strengthening her friendships with her peers and seniors. Since we were ending up starting work a bit later cos of the 2 drops we started after school club for Pumpki so that we could stretch our working day. It also added to her set of experiences. Chiyaa settled down perfectly in her new school and it was so nice to see her forming the social connections which she missed in primary. By God's grace the kids were finally settling.❤️

All this while we had quite a bit of renovation planned for the summer. The summer became late summer and that became early autumn. That turned the whole house to pay turvy. K and I used to get into arguments about this or that regarding the builders or the cost or the layout or some random stuff. The season has changed to winter and the work is well and truly underway. But there is still so much more to do in the new year. 

Which makes the coming year a year of uncertain uncertainties. We have to make some financial recoveries since the renovation has run a bit over budget. How  needs to be figured out 😀Also we have no idea when all the tasks will get over and the house will be fully usable. My parents might be making a trip again. But we aren't sure when, for how long and what we plan to do together in terms of trips etc. My Mil is coming over and it will be a different experience for her coming over first time since the pandemic. We have no certainty about any trips or holidays we might be undertaking.  I will be changing teams at work with new people, new systems and new tech stack. There are just too many things up in the air and I would love to see my thoughts on 31.12.2024 😃

But here's wishing anyone who chances on this post a very happy new year. May your uncertainties result in pleasant outcomes. May you have the strength to live through them and the results. May things forge ahead and be enriching. Wishing everyone a new year full of pleasant surprises!

Getting used to the mess

 I might have said in a previous post that we are undertaking some renovation work in our house. It is a simple room extension which we thought would throw one room out of function. But the work has seemed to grow arms and legs! First the room under the room to be extended got impacted! The builders had to put scaffolding on it and make the base stronger etc. Now this room was our 'office' room. So working from home was thrown out of gear. We had to shift everything from that room. Once we started the process we realised just how much the room housed. There was the usual office stuff of laptops, monitors, printer, shredder. But then there was a huge book shelf. Little one's keyboard. A small heater fan. Plants. The list goes on. All these stuff and the people who used them had to be rehabilitated to the living and dining room. 

I set shop in the kitchen and K in the living room. The living room ended up having a very ragged look with all the plants and the office set up. It was a throw back to the covid lockdown period when we did not have a proper office setup and things were a bit ramshackle. 

Anyways the work started. There was a big skip in front of our house to accumulate the debris of construction. The parking spots for the cars were gone and we had to have a daily chase of picking a spot on our street. Initially it started with being annoying. But then it turned into  was fun and games and there was a certain thrill in getting a certain parking spot. K would come and shout woo hoo! I got the space under the tree. Other times I would be like hoorah I got the one near the wall. 

Things went a bit too our of whack when our bedroom was impacted too. Since the window in our bedroom was to be cut and shortened, they had to access it. But the delivery of the smaller window was delayed. So they boarded the gaping window space, but the room was super cold. So it was a call back to the floor of the living room for K and I. First few days it was a bit inconvenient to set up the sleeping area  on  the floor of the living room. But then the silver linings emerged. The living room was way tidier during the day since we made sure to keep it cleaner for the nights. The cosiness of the living room with all the plants had a charm of its own. 

When finally our bedroom was in operation again, we changed all the covers and vaccumed it like there's no tomorrow. It was so clean and sparkling that all the inconvenience seemed worth it when we finally hit the bed!

The work is going at a decent pace. Hopefully sometime by February next year things will be a bit more settled. The journey unsettling at first is something I  have definitely gotten used to.

Speechless

 The other day little Pumpki asked me, "what do you do when we goto school". I said, "I do work". She asked, "But do you miss us". Then I said, "I do, but work keeps me busy. But I definitely wait for you and didi to be back". She had me speechless for a moment.

Some serious shit

 We are undertaking some house construction work. Because of it the entire year was on standby for us since the builders were not committing on a date. Finally it started on the last week of October.

There was much glee in our family when they put the scaffoldings up and started work. We noticed the day's progress with the curiosity of kids. I went to pick the girls up from school in the evening wondering how they would respond to the changes. We parked near our house and I saw some muddy water coming down our driveway. I though the builders had cleaned something with cement and left the water on. We carefully came in and then once we were near the back yard of our house, we saw the manhole was bursting open. We immediately called the builders. They said it was nothing to do with the work they had done during the day but anyways came to inspect. 

We learnt a lot about the way the sewerage system works that day! It so happens that all the toilets across the street join up and flush down through common pipes. Our house happens to be on the top of a hill. There seemed to be some sort of blockage which was causing the water to hold up. And somehow it had chosen our manhole to burst open. So all the fecal matter that was pent up on the drainage was bursting out from the manhole in our backyard. Also any time anyone flushed, the drains were being impacted and and there was an  outburst of poo and everything people were flushing. It was going through like rivers around the house and flowing onto the street forming poo ponds where ever it could find the crevices. 

The stench was horrible especially once we realised that it was poo. We needed to call the central company that deals with such issues. We were constantly on their customer service. Our case was registered but we were informed that it could take upto 3 days for it to get sorted. K and I were quite nervous about the whole scenario. We initially refrained from using the toilets etc. But then we were advised that it would be OK. We somehow manage to go through the river of poo and drop the kids at school the next day. We had a lot of options thank God like going to my sisters house or taking a room in a hotel. But we decided it would be OK to just live it out. 

K and I wore some water proof boots and plastic bags in our hands and approached the manhole. Since the lid of the manhole was being pushed open everytime anyone was flushing the sewerage was coming out every single time. We decided to brave it, make it to the middle of the pool of poo, close the lid and put something heavy on it. First we had to clean the area the best we could so that we could put our four feet. The sludge of shit was dangerous to stand on. After that we dragged the lid and closed the manhole. Last year in one of the storms a portion of our wall had broken. We had kept all the heavy slabs from the broken wall. We dragged 2 of them and put it on top of the lid of the manhole. That prevented any further flushes from pushing the lid open.

The next day was a super rainy one and we did not have much hope of the issue getting sorted. We rang up customer service again to highlight the severity of the issue. Thankfully we had some people come over around 9:28. I know the exact precise time because that is how keenly I was following the events 😅 They had the expression on the face of shit having actually hit the fan. They started investigating from the house  next to ours. There were people staring at what was happening. It was a proper scene! Then they came to our back yard and started their clean up..gawd the stench. They then went over to the manholes in the street and cleaned up and found a big mass of clog. People had been flushing wet wipes down the toilets which had caused such a massacre. 

K was supremely humbled the entire experience. He went and got boxes of biscuits for all of them. We had to get some new hose pipes and the weekend there was a round of super deep cleaning. 

Second chances

 I am a firm believer in second chances. I had sat my engineering entrance exam after my year 12. I did not get the branch of my choice and decided to sit the exam again. This time as I was preparing, everything made much more sense to me. The organic chemistry lessons which seemed like voodoo the first time I was studying them became my favourite sections. I had always enjoyed physics and I enjoyed it a bit more this time around. It was all making so much more sense that I felt how dumb was I a few months ago to not be able to understand all this! 

I hated my first job. Everything was super hard, I didn't feel I was treated well. So much so I made up my mind that I was not designed for a career in IT. I still wish at times I had a different career, but my second job onwards I discovered the thrill of coding and loved it. I have been doing it for the past nearly 18 years and will keep doing it for another 18 I guess. 

My previous job was a radical shift in the way of working I was used and in the technology stack. I was working on some very cool and new stuff with quite modern ways of implementing. I felt quite daunted and suffered a lot from imposter syndrome. I was full of self doubt. But then my current job where I kind of do similar things, it is way easier for me. 

I don't know what happens with second chances? Are we armed with more information that we fail to see in our nervousness with the first attempt? Are we more relaxed because of our attitude that 'what's the worse that could happen ' and that lack of pressure makes us perform better. Are we more resilient after what we think was a failure the first time around. I am not sure what the reasons are, but second chances are really a deal breaker. They are our chance to get it right the second time around. Here's to second chances!

The changes

 The summer holidays have drawn to a close. I had my last week off to spend with the girls, and it was the best week I had :) We managed to do a bit of trekking one day. It was part of the 3 peaks which make the Yorkshire 3 Peaks challenge. The climb was quite hard and strenuous. Especially for the kids. But it was an immensely exhilarating experience. We loved every bit of it and really enjoyed the beautiful scenery from the top. The downhill journey was ironically as hard as the uphill 😂 After what seemed like forever we did manage to come down and treated ourselves to some gorgeous ice cream! With the high of having done a bit of trekking, we were eyeing the next peak. We planned it for the coming weekend when were to have wonderful weather. 

The week was a very sunny one and we had local trips and walks to keep us going. We did spend quite some time recovering from the long hill walking. We were definitely waiting for and raring to go for the next peak. Now this was way more challenging and steep than the first one! We had a bit of scrambling to do on our hands and legs. I was stuck at a certain point. Then thankfully I was advised by another hiker coming behind me to take an alternative route. It was quite sheer and steep and very very windy. I was scared out of my brains. But then there is no backsies 😖 I was amazed at my daughters for climbing up with all the confidence. After that exhilarating climb, it was time for downhill again. This time it seemed more painful because it was just plain old walking. The girls in fact found it boring.

This peak brought a close to the official holiday week for me. The climbing of two hills was exhilarating, but what lay ahead of us was the new hill of 2 different school drops, 2 kids going and coming back at different times and a whole lot of logistics with it. I was very very anxious about it and am really thankful that I managed a remote job where I could work from home. The girls had one more day to go for school and they used the time finishing some painting they had taken up during the holidays. Tuesday Pumpki started school. It was her very first day without elder sis. Chiyaa and K made a dry run to her secondary school. Chiyaa will be walking to secondary school which is 3 kms away. We are seasoned walkers and we did not think it would be a big deal. K and she managed a dry run with no hiccups at all. It would be a 07:40 ish start for her to make reach school at time around 0815. Dry run done, we missed little Pumpki all day and waited for her to return from her first day at school by herself without didi. She had had a wonderful time and was quite fine by herself. 

The next day was the main deal with Chiyaa starting her first day at high school!! Pumpki hates waking in the morning. She was the most difficult person to rouse out of bed. But she was ironically up with her elder sister. I managed to get her sorted ahead of time. We had set a routine for K to do the pick ups for Chiyaa and me for Pumpki. But since it was the first day for her, I wanted to drop Chiyaa. So K and I swapped places 😁 It was amazing walking with Chiyaa. She seemed so grown up doing so much all by herself. She was very excited for the walks. She was looking forward to her alone time with an audio book while returning. But I was concerned about her walking alone. She did not have many friends in primary school. We have seen most of the children walk back with some sort of company or friends. I was very reluctant to let her be alone. I did nt think in a span of the summer holidays she would be mature enough to walk all alone. But seeing her being so confident about managing, I did not want to dampen her spirits. It was more of a letting go for me. Only if I let her be, I would be ok with her taking ownership of stuff. So quite reluctantly I agreed to her walking back alone. 

As soon as her school was done, she messaged us and K and I got busy tracking her location. She is a fast walker! I was tempted to meet her half way. But given it was a very bright sunny day where there was amazing visibility, I did not want to ruin her maiden walk home. Eventually she came 35 minutes later and boy we greeted her with a big welcome! I asked her if she wanted to Mummy or Daddy at any point? And she said " No offence but I was fine by myself". My precious lil girl who used to cry to high heavens to be dropped off at day care and who had such a tough time at primary school in forming friendships was confident of taking on stuff!  Whole evening we kept pestering her with questions. It was a very new experience for us as well. 

The first day went well enough Touchwood. Here's fingers crossed for the whole year to be relatively smooth. 

The summer update

The days have been going at unique pace this year. There is a lot that is happening but it is all happening in a languorous pace that makes it seem all manageable. Papa Mummy moved back to India on 2nd August. It was a horrible rainy day. We didnt step outside anywhere. My sis and I had taken the day off and sat chatting. We never run out of conversations in my family. It just keeps on coming 😀 And there is honestly so much we discuss at the drop of a hat. We kept chatting while making preps and packing. And then the clock timed for us to bid our adiues. We said our tearful goodbyes. The pain of it was definitely lessened by the fact that I had my sis with me, a part of my parents. They made the long journey back with an overnight layover in Delhi. They really enjoyed staying in the hotel and the one night there refreshed them. We were so happy to have them in the UK for  a little over 5 months. Finally seeing them back at our home in Bhubaneswar brought the full closure. The weekend following my parents return, my sis returned to her rented apartment.

My kids just love being at my sister's place. We make it quite the norm to stay there during weekends and bank holidays. It is a cute unique routine. And once the kids are in bed, my sis and I spend the time chatting. There was one night where we were up till 0130 at night talking about this and that. I did mention we dont run out of conversations didnt I 😜 There was work the next day, but we just went on with out discussions and debates 😆  The kids love the sensation of being at a different place and sleeping there. They are of course pampered silly by my sis which is super endearing.  The city centre location gives them a lot of places for entertainment and also food. The hustle bustle of the city centre is something that can pep anyone up! During the summer holidays our trips to her place have been a bit more often which has definitely made the days more enjoyable.

In the midst of the summer holidays K and I decided to take a certification. In this ripe old age we took upon ourselves to prepare and sit a test. There was no need to do it, but we thought we should. It would help us in calibrating ourselves. There were days of intense preparation and we both passed. It was an amazing feeling and has ironically made us think of the next one 😆 Along with work and studies, we have been enjoying some real long walks with the girls. After clocking off work, we take the girls on a nice long walk which sometimes stretches to 8 kms. It does tire their little legs. But it is the time again for some silly family conversation, some arguments, some teasing and end of the day a good night's sleep 😀

There is one more week left for the summer holidays to get over. It will be a unique experience next term when Chiyaa starts high school. There is the aspect of this bigger school with kids from all over the place. And she has to take to walking nearly 3 kms one way! Pumpki will be in her old primary school and will definitely be missing the comforting presence of her elder sister during the times they used to be together in school for instance during the travel and lunch breaks. Both girls have very different and unique situations to deal with. But I am sure when I give my summer update next year, it would all be routine 💗

The planets align again!

 I didn't think it would ever happen again. For the planets align only once in a lifetime isn't it? But they did again! And we ended up celebrating papa and K's birthday in person together again! 

The birthday week kick started with mummy 's on the 4th of July. It was a busy day. Chiyaa had an open evening at her to be secondary school. The evening was packed. But we managed to get some cake and chicken for mummy in the afternoon since we expected a busy evening. It was a lovely sunny day. Mummy enjoyed a nice little walk with my sister. Papa mowed the lawn and did some cleaning activities around the house. It was the proper countdown to their return as papa kept saying. They are slated to go back to India on 2nd August and we could feel the pangs of separation as the birthday week approached. But then life goes on and we take pleasure in the small things that are bestowed upon us. I was happy that again mummy was with the people she literally dotes the most. She is also a very closed person with a small social circle which mostly entails family. She is closest to her daughters and loves being with her grand-daughters. So, I was pretty sure that, with no gifts, no big celebrations, she was still at her most satisfied.

3 days later it was K and Papa's birthday. By the stroke of luck it was a school holiday for the kids for teacher training. It was just pure coincidence and again something that had never happened before!! We took the day off and planned a day trip to York. Pumpki had gone there to a chocolate museum and she was keen that we all go there and experience what she had. And here Wham! came another brilliant coincidence. It was World Chocolate Day! It was all getting tied in a neat little parcel by some divinity. The trip at York's Chocolate Story was quite good. We stopped by for some lunch and then walked over one of the parts of the Roman walls that were built to protect the city of York. It was quite an experience. But by this time, the sun was getting on everyone's nerves. It was becoming a bit too hot and tiring especially for the kids and Papa. There were a lot more sights to see, but we decided to take the train back home. We quite enjoyed the trip and it was a wrap to a good day spent together.  

The days together might be drawing to an end, but we are so loving all the sweet moments that we can capture. I could not thank God enough for these days. 

Fingers crossed dear Chiyaa

 Chiyaa has been the most emotional component of our lives. When she was born, K and I could not have our parents near us to support us. We had to go through the entire ride of being new parents in a country which was not our native. It was a big learning experience but also a very handson and emotional one. We have many emotions and gone through many experiences for the very first time with her. 

Sending her to daycare was another monumental time for us. She took ages to settle down and it ripped out hearts dropping her every day. She used to cry and squirm in the pram even when we neared her day care. I had to literally tear myself from her and goto work. But then eventually after what seemed like eternity, she settled down and started loving her nursery. 

For most kids, nursery naturally leads to a local school. But we had to leave Leeds. She had to say her goodbyes to her nursery before the designated time. It felt like a relationship cut short, abruptly, untimely and painfully. She was given such glorious praise and good wishes by her nursery mates and her carers and even mummy and I who went to pick her up on her last day had tears in our eyes. 

But life is moving on. In a new town she started a new life in a new school. She didn't have the usual settling in sessions that the local kids might have had. She was thrust into the school. She took a few weeks to settle down and a new friend was instrumental in that. Her friend, her friend's brother and Chiyaa used to greet each other with the loudest hugs and shouts when they greeted each other. It was finally falling into place.

But then, life hit her and us again. K got a job in Leeds and we had to move back. We got her placed in a local school. She had a very very tough time forging new friendships all over again. Her teacher was phenomenal in settling her. She formed some friendships with some older kids, but they left school, she formed some friendships with her after school clubs but they came and went. She never had a good solid friend. There was shuffling in her class in the middle of school which landed her in  a group very unlike herself. She struggled through the next 4 years. K and I kept ruing, that a good level headed kid like her just needed one friend to make school life just a bit easier. But for some reason that was being denied to her.

She starts high school in September. On 6th July they had a trial day at her new school. She was in a group where she knew no one. She said she was fine with it. ' It will be a fresh start' is what the mature lil girl said. I dropped her at school hoping and praying she found a bunch of people to hang out with. We saw the some  known faces and I asked her why didnt she just say hi. She went ahead and one of the people hugged her and they all started talking. I had tears in my eyes. As she went into the big school building, I stood hoping she  would cope and survive.

When I went to pick her up, she came with a smile and my eyes watered again. She had some one from her school in her group. She chatted with a group of known people during lunch. She did not feel alone or left out during the day. My hope and prayer, May this be true for the next 5 years. All she needs is one friend. 

Planned unplanned day

 I am a sucker for planning. Anything impromptu makes me uneasy. But then last Monday to finish off one of my annual leaves, I joined K and took a day off. It was to be a day where we would go with the flow and do things impromptu. I mostly envisioned it a day wasted. ;) If it came to it, I intended to do the ironing and deep clean the house - there should be something to show at the end of the day :) We had nebulous plans of going for a long walk, enjoying a peaceful coffee and other sweet things, which I was pretty sure we were never going to accomplish. All those things need PLANNING!!!

First thing first, we dropped the kids off at school. As we came to the car, we noticed that one of the tyres looked a bit flat. The first spanner in the works. First the car was off to the garage. That seemd to be the end of the day - so much for impromptu days! It took some time  for the technician to assess the car. It was given a thumbs up. So only an hour of the available time gone. We still had 5 remaining hours. The world was our oyster. 

The weekend we had been to my sister's place. Mummy had made the most delicious chick peas and soya chunks curry. She had intended to pack some for me but while exiting I missed getting it. She was super guilty for not having managed to send some over to me (Moms right *rolls eyes*) So, I proposed why don't we walk to my sister's place and get the curries and come home! We would have a long 10km walk (back and forth) and dinner would be sorted too. There is always food where Mummy is, so lunch would be sorted as well. K jumped on the plan and we started our trek to surprise Mummy, Papa and my sis. That was a plan that came out of nowhere. 

At her place we chatted for some time. K was in the mood for some Mexican, so we thought of checking some of the vendors that put up stalls near the area. Since my sister lives in the city centre, she has all the hustle bustle. We took a stroll and instead of the Mexican place we ended up being convinced by a Cypriotic food stall. We ordered gyros and marched to her house with the goodies. The food was just divine!! We were totally knocked over by the flavours and totally high fived ourselves on having chosen to go with the dishes we did. Amazing. On the spur decisions are not so bad after all ;) 

After lunch and a little rest, we started our walk back home. Then off to the task of picking the kids and the rest was routine. This was a rare occassion of taking one step at a time and going with the flow and it was worth it :) Sometimes I can do impromptu :D

A tough time but a time together

 The week before last was half term break for the girls. I had my sister and parents at home for the duration. It was full IPL knockout matches time and it was brilliant fun watching the nail biting matches with Papa. We were looking forward to the oh so important match on the Sunday. On Saturday evening we decided to make some rice at night to make the Odia delicacy of pakhala since it was to be a hot day on Sunday. Mummy put the rice in the pressure cooker and it was getting cooked. My sister Lichie was making her dinner. All of a sudden there was an ear splitting noise. We all rushed to the kitchen and realised that the pressure cooker had somehow burst. There was rice all over. The whistle was no where to be found. The over hob extractor had been badly dented. But the lid had managed to hit Lichie on her shoulder. She was bleeding from near her eye brow and her lips. One of her tooth seemed to have been knocked off. There was blood and we had no idea of the extent of damage. The shock was terrible for Lichie and she was hysterical. The kids were afraid and papa mummy were very very worried and upset. We immediately rang the emergency services. We were given an estimated time of 90 minutes for their arrival. In the interim we kept giving cold compress to her.

It had been such a warm and joyful Saturday. We all had enjoyed a lovely spat of gardening. We were watching Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone since Pumpki had also finished reading the book. Now we could all enjoy the movie without any spoilers. We were so looking forward to the relaxed movie experience. And we were hit by this bad accident. To distract Lichie we thought it might be good to resume watching the movie after the kitchen had been cleaned up. 

Around 2140  we had the emergency responders. They made an assessment of her and deemed her ok from a health perspective. Her teeth needed attention from the emergency dental services which we were to get in touch with via another channel. We did so and managed to get an appointment for the next day. With the preliminary assessment and the recommended approach to reduce pain we were a bit at ease. She had steam burns and was in terrible pain, but there was nothing but waiting for things to settle down. The appointment with the dentist the next day went ok too and he was able to do a good job of patching up the knocked up tooth. Luckily there was only one tooth that had been impacted. It had broken in the middle and there was a laceration in the gum. It would take time to settle down and it was all a waiting game now. 

With this accident, we had to put on hold some of the travel plans during the half term holiday.  By Thursday when she was a bit settled, we made a trip to a nearby heritage house. It was amazing day spent outside and a welcome break from the tension of recent events. The kids and I mean while were being bothered by a nasty cough over the past 2 weeks. This week it was particularly aggravated. Mummy was rushing and tending to all of us giving us her utmost care to make us better. 

The kids started school last Monday and this week thankfully we are all together getting back in the routine. It was a very tough time and we sort of have a phobia of pressure cookers now. K and I were feeling a bit guilty that this happened in our house with our equipment. But we also dread the situation that it would have happened to the kids or mummy. That is a big nightmare scenario. Thankfully God is taking us to a healing place. Thankfully we were all together during this testing time to support each other. This too shall pass. 😀

Step 8: final moments with family

 We were to start back from Bangalore on Sunday afternoon. The morning one of K's cousin had plans to visit us. It was amazing to have the cousins meet up and our kids play along. It is splendid to watch how kids shed all barriers and get going with other kids, even if meeting them for the first time. As the afternoon drew to a close, we had to bid each other tearful goodbyes and board the train to return to Chennai.

At Chennai we had a couple of days before it was the end of the lovely time. The Monday was spent in a lot of bureaucratic tasks. Thankfully a lot was getting done at a quick and easy pace. It was really a sign of the new times that there was so much efficiency in so many government departments. Tuesday was spent visiting some more of K's side of the family. The kids were slathered with love and pampered to the hilt. I am sure they could not have asked for more. 

We had to start realigning for the return. It was amazing to have spent all the time with people who valued us. K and I were very happy with our friends doing so well in their lives. The chats I had with them ranging from college to kids to menopause was brilliant. There was just so much over arching affection. I dont have a lot of friends and still this bunch of people made so much effort over the past days, it was enough for me.  It was one of the most amazing time this year and I will be ever thankful to God for it :) 

Step 7: another weekend

A long weekend awaited us after the whirlwind week. Sam had met me over the madness of the weekend. We didn't get a chance to have a proper chat. She decided to avail her optional holiday on Friday and come over. There was a ton of food that we had ordered that morning, from close to 8 different places :)  Sam could sample all the food when she came in around lunch time. Then it was time for us to get chatting! We spoke about myriad things and time flew till Sam had to call it a day and go back home. 

The Saturday was planned for my friend B's house. Since her place was quite far, we were habouring the idea of going over on Friday night itself. We would save ourselves from the mental traffic which seems to materialise out of nowhere in Bangalore. Her house was an eternity away. But it was an oasis once we entered. It was brilliant being in the huge bungalow. Kids went along to play, adults got chatting as we got a tour of her massive house :) Post dinner, around 2230, her hubby suggested a drive to get some tea from a nearby vendor. I have never done such a thing in my life. To be honest, I am extremely boring. I plan to outings to start at a certain time and I expect myself and all I know to be back by 2000. Impromptu trips, middle of the night plans are something I have never done. But it was super exciting to be part of such a plan. 7 of us fitted ourselves into the car and off we went for tea and ice cream. We made it around 2300 when the tea shop was closed. The ice cream place was wrapping up as well and we somehow managed to get one ice cream to go from the very reluctant staff who just wanted to go home. 

Back home, the kids had ice cream around mid night and finally hit the bed. B and I then sat down in the living room for a good old chat. We spoke about a gazillion things under the sun, till around 2 in the morning, when she felt hungry and we decided that we should goto bed :D 

In the middle of the night, I had a nightmare. Not the dreams kind, but a real one. I woke to use the toilet and in the middle of my business, I saw a lizard on the door. I shrieked! The lizard shrieked ( I hope) and plopped onto the floor. I screamed again and the lizard ran out from under the gap in the door. I somehow summoned my courage and ran out chanting the names of all the Gods I know. Took some time for my heart beat to return to normal, but then all was well :) 

B was somehow up at 7 in the morning preparing a delicious egg sandwiches and dosas. (My family is still in love with the sandwiches and asks for it every now and then) And she did mention hearing a scream at night and asked if everything was ok ;) She had planned get together with R's family and another college mate. Once everyone was assembled, there was gorgeous food and again wholesome conversations. Kids got along like wildfire and adults were having a lovely time till it was the call to wrap up. It was awful telling the goodbyes, but I couldnt be thankful enough to dearest B for being the wonderful hostess that she was. 

We came back home around 1800 in the evening and were still reeling from the wonderful time we had had. 

Step 6: get the work week on

 Monday there were absolutely no plans. The idea was to rest and relax at home. I was still feeling unwell with the fever and decided to sleep it out. My friends started texting that they were feeling unwell with fever as well. 

After lunch I decided to take a nap. After some time I had K waking me up for a trip to the mall. Since my niece did not have any extra curricular that day, the plan was to go and do some shopping for each other in the mall. The cousins and the adults started in full enthusiasm with shoes, proceeded to toys and makeup. Finally it was some scrumptious food at a place called Punjab Grill. 

That was a wrap on Monday. On Tuesday I visisted my school friend P. It was so amazing to meet her one on one after the somewhat loud get together over the weekend. Her two rescue beagles kept the children super entertained. Her hubby is a gem of a person. Down to earth, calm and composed, he was amazing with the kids. Even after they ended up smashing two glass artefacts in her house. 😩

Wednesday was a day which was again reserved for shopping! And the best kind of shopping. Books! My sis in law had planned to take us to Blossoms at M G Road. It was an interesting journey in the Bangalore metro. The trains ran on schedule and were a welcome change from the maddening traffic. We reached Blossoms and spent close to 90 minutes shopping. We had a huge load of books for everyone. It was simple amazing to spend time in the old shop and look at the various books. We came out with close to 30 books for all of us. Shopping is tiring and what came next was - of course! - food. This time some delectable pizza from The Pizza Bakery. 

Thursday was literally doing nothing at all at home. We slept, read the books we had bought the previous day, watched TV and the IPL matches, took walks around the lovely apartment complex and got ready for the long weekend 😎

Step 5: foot off the accelerator

 After the adrenaline subsided, on Sunday morning the body was hit by reality. I had a high fever. I would have loved to lie in, but then there is nothing a hot beverage can't fix 😀 So armed with a cup of coffee I got on with getting ready for the day. Sam had planned a lunch with a bunch of friends who were congregating from different parts of Bangalore. Evening a quick trip to her mom's and then the night was still up in the air. Since my girls had been bored out of their brains with majority of adult interactions the previous day, they voted to stay at my sis-in-laws house. My niece was also around so there would be some good cousin time. 

I whipped something up for the kids, since the measurement of spices they were used to was quite hard to fathom by others. And off we went. I had given K the option to stay back as well. Since I was 'phoneless' and Bangalore was new and different, he opted to come in. We met up at a Thai restaurant and had a blast chatting. We were getting stares from other patrons who were probably getting disturbed by us. But do little girls care 😛After lunch we rested at Sam's house and got on with some more chatting. K was a gem just minding himself. I love that guy 😀

We visisted Sam's mom in the evening. It was surreal meeting them after 26 years. It is easy to be triggered by people from the past. Aunty was emotional to see us all. She had made some amazing food. It took me back to the years in Rourkela where having aunty's food was a norm. Sam used to bring the tastiest lunch boxes. And along with it, I had many sleep overs at hers. Her birthday parties were a hoot too. Having the food at Bangalore took me back to the school days and and especially her out of the world katori chaat. 

A trip down memory lane  done, it was time to navigate the absolutely horrendous traffic of the city to get home. I would have loved to stay over at Sam 's a true homage to school days, but I was feeling a bit under the weather and was also a bit worried for the kids. So good byes done, it was a wrap over the weekend. 

Step 4: reset and restart

 Bengaluru was a new destination within the span of 2 days. We were putting up at my sister in law's place. The girls loved exploring their new set up. Since my sis in law has a teenage daughter, her home was filled with things that my kids loved - books, art equipments, board games. They had too many choices to begin with. They went away and busied themselves while K and Amma managed a nap and I chatted with my sis in law. It was very nice to see everyone drift off and be comfortable. Once my niece was back from school, it was time for the cousins to have some fun.The girls were meeting up after a long time and they do not have a lot in common. But it was endearing to see them bond over food, school, TV shows and complaints about their moms! 

In the evening my sis-in-law and my niece sat down to watch the IPL match. I have never watched a single IPL match in my life. But their enthusiasm was contagious for sure. K and I and to some extent the kids got down to watching the match. We have truly been bitten by the bug, so much so, we continue to follow the matches back here in the UK :)

The weekend was to be a roller coaster. We started off in the morning to meet my two besties, Ashu and Sam. Ashu had made the effort to come all the way from Pune to Bengaluru. It was a horrendous ride full of traffic, but we eventually made it. It was amazing to meet them. There is something about people outside your family who have known you over decades! It an unmissable feeling of being loved, by people who just walked into your life by pure coincidence! We all had lunch together and then chatted away. I could feel some of the contextual conversations were beyond my understanding. I did not get the real estate market, the financial market, the job situations and a few others since those are different in the UK. It was interesting to listen and lovely to see how well people are doing. 

The evening was a trip to another college friends house. R was hosting B who had made a trip from Odisha to see us - just for one day. Again, seeing these amazing bunch of people - that is what nirvana must feel like. Just utter peace - no questions asked. We chatted along, K and R's hubby also had no seeming awkwardness for folks meeting for the first time. While the best part was R's kids and mine. Being more or less the same age group, they just made their own little group and started playing as if they had known each other from before! 

We made a trip to a restaurant to have dinner. The purported aim which was having  some good food was futile. But the entire duration was definitely filled with lots and lots of laughter and giggles, as if we were school girls :D 

All good things come to an end, and we had to bid good night and good bye to dearest B. As I hugged her, someone remarked that this was like us leaving our hostel for the last and final time back in college. And as B hugged me, she just whispered take care. And till date I miss her. Next time, I am making a trip just for her! 

That was one hellova Saturday. It was just the beginning! 

Step 3: maiden train journey in India

 We had expected that there would be some trouble with the kids having an early start at 5 for Bangalore. Surprisingly the girls were quite well managed and got ready on time. There was a quick ride to the train station. It was around 5 in the morning, but there were so many people running. There was the usual hustle and bustle of activities that is integral to India. That itself was caffeine for me 😀

At the station it was a cacophony of noises. There were poeple on the floor sleeping while waiting for the next train. There were mad rushes and anxious runs. Pumpki was quite intrigued by it all. She asked if people sleep in the station. I clarified that no, perhaps it was a long wait and finding no other way to rest, people have taken to the floor. 

In the midst of all this, Miss Pumpki needed a wee. We ventured to the paid toilets. They were quite ok and being used by all sorts of people. But there was only an Indian toilet there, which scared poor Pumpki 😀 I found it all too hilarious to be honest 😂 A kind lady offered that we could use to a/c waiting room for some western toilets. Off we went! Toilet used, we went to patiently wait for our train.

Since we had a lot of luggage, we had to resort to hiring a porter. This was again something that was a new experience for the girls. Once seated in the coach, we were inundated with IRCTC catering personnel screaming Chai, vada, puri subzi, samosa, various biscuits and cakes. It was annoying. At the same time, it evoked nostalgia. Back in the day train journeys were a part and parcel of holidays. The journey could be anything from 12 to 22 hours long. I remember having the smell of iron on my hands when I stepped out of the destination and feeling the sensation of motion many hours after deboarding. The journeys used to be tiring. But they had a weird charm. Buying from the various vendors, sleeping on the berths, chatting and bonding with co-passengers. Every journey was unique. This journey wasn't unique like the ones I have made in the past. But it was unique taking the girls through this special experience. They are quite composed in themselves and do not react profusely at anything. I am not sure if it was an indelible journey. I hope they enjoyed it and will talk about it once they are older as I fondly remember my train journeys 🙂

5.5 hours later we arrived in garden city Bengaluru!

Step 2: first day at home

 The girls are here in Chennai after a span of nearly 6 years. There is not much that they remember about their home. 

It was the dead of the night that we reached Chennai. K was there to receive us. Once we reached home, we unpacked our change of clothes. I went off to relax while the girls got busy with their paati. They were finding it a bit hard to get to sleep, so amma took them over for a stroll around the apartments. They were surprised to see the number of stray cats and dogs! Once walk done, they were a bit peckish and went on to have a quick breakfast of some cereal. The UK sleep cycle eventually kicked in and they drifted off to sleep. 

K and I after we were refreshed ventured to get some shopping done. Primary among them was some utensils and pressure cooker. Shopping done, we came home and had a gorgeous home cooked lunch. Living 3 mins away from the beach mandates an evening trip to the beach. That's where we proceeded. The girls just loved it to the hilt. They were surprised by the warmth of the water. And since the water was warm there was no end to the time they could spend!  

But we had to draw them out around 1900 to wrap up soon, for next day we were off to Bangalore!

Step 1: the onwards journey

When we travelled the first time from UK to India, it was with a 5 month old Chiyaa. She was a naughty raucous baby who had to be transferred from the baby bassinet to our arms intermittently. I had a few moments of calm when she slept off and I could enjoy my meal in peace. As I sat waiting for her next demand, I saw two ladies who were watching movies with subtitles on. I was reading the text and watching them sip their gin and tonic and having a 'pleasant' journey. I thought what a fry cry from my dishevelled state was their journey.

It does not take long for time to turn around. This time when I was travelling to India, I had a 7 year old and 11 year old in tow. I had some worries, but I was amazed by how smooth it was (touchwood) The formalities at the airport were done smoothly. I had come well prepared with food for them. So we took the time to recharge ourselves. Once we boarded the girls just busied themselves on games provided in the flight console. They needed the slightest bit of nudge to take a nap or to have their food. I managed to watch 1.5 movie in the flight and was pretty much like the ladies 7 years ago.

The flight was surprisingly ahead of schedule. And we managed  to get out quite quickly. And what greeted us was beautiful India! 

The warmth of family

K left for India last Saturday. My parents and Lichie are here with me since. And I must tell this has been the most unique 7 days of my life. And there are 4 more to go before the kids and I start to India. 

I have to do the drops which was K s responsibility. It adds an extra task to the day and makes it a bit more hectic. The bit I dislike the most is bidding them goodbye. Pick ups are a much better task when they come all happy and running telling tales of the day. Once the kids are dropped at school, it's the four of us. A proper throwback to our school days. It is very different. Those days 30 years ago were full of struggle. Both our parents were working, we kids were stressed with school work. Things have taken such a turn now. We are older and have so much to converse with our parents. Along with work there  are cups of tea and random discussions on things like why are pension ages increasing, what is the role of opposition and many many more.

We all go for some sort of exercise, not together but around the same time. It is lovely to come back all refreshed and then relish the delicious lunch mummy makes. She makes the simplest but tastiest stuff. Once the kids are back there is the usual running around after them. We play chess, monopoly,watch some documentary or again just start chatting.

As the days wind down, I can't help but treasure them. By some weird twists and turns God has brought me to this juncture which I never thought was imaginable. I am with my most favourite people. 

Not all gloom and doom

 My last post had roomie dear quite worried. Yes things are going a bit awry, but there are always silver linings. Even when it snows! This winter, we did not have any snow.  There were cold snaps, there were Arctic winds, but no  snow. Till finally in March, while we are in cusp of spring, it snowed. Again, Arctic winds were blamed for the phenomenon. But who cares about the why. We are concerned with the what to do with it. :) 

We have recently got a sleeping bag. Our intention is to probably camp in the garden in the summers. But well who has seen summer when its snowing in March :D So we offered the girls if they want to be warm and cosy in the sleeping bag on the floor of our room. Such excitement among the lil ones at the idea of trying something different. We 4 were all cosied up like a family of hedgehogs with the heating on in full blast. We had a truly tropical environment going on over there :D

The next day, the school closed at 1345 because of bad weather. The girls were over the moon! Who doesn't like a shorter work day :D They came in, had mug fulls of hot chocolate and then it was TV first before anything. After the extra screen time, it was back to the usual rigmarole of wrapping up for the day.

But we woke up to a ton of good news! There was a lot of snow and the school was closed due to bad weather. The kids as expected got ready in their thickest coats and got playing on the snow :) It was all going too well, till there was a fight regarding the snow man. All went down hill from there. Kids were bickering, crying and since K and I had to work, we were joining in with shouting as well. Not good. But I had a back up. We decided to goto my sister's place! (Not sure if I mentioned but she has a place of her own in Leeds and my annoying parents are with her :D ) So without further ado, we went to her place. It was a surprise and what a pleasant surprise it was! It was wonderful again to work in the sunny confines of her home with the sunny vibes of family cheering up a really cold day. Small joys, small wins :) 

Not going well

 This year has not been going great so far. There are far too many issues on the home and work front that keep me quite anxious. They are not earth shattering or life altering things, but just constant, persistent issues and scenarios that make me unhappy. I get head aches. Once awake at night, I find it difficult to get back to sleep. I was talking to a friend and she said, the added pressure to be resilient is not good. So take the chance to be vulnerable. Not sure what might be the right drift of things. Hopefully things pan out better 🤞

Reach for help

 I pride myself in being an upbeat,optimistic person. I tend to find solutions or distractions out of problems. 

But for the past few days I was just sad. There was an all permeating sense of grief. The usual methods of making myself feel better were not working. Nothing felt good at all. I didn't feel like exercising or listening to music. The tears were relentless.

I took the day off sick. I could have tried harder, but I realised that it was just not done. I took the time off. I chatted with a dear friend and felt much better for sure. I knew my job wasn't making me any happier so I went ahead and applied for another. I know it was perhaps a rash move, but it was something I wanted to do. Then I exercised a bit and definitely felt better.

I am so glad that we live in  a day and age where mental health is given importance. I feel blessed that I was able to book the time to step away from work and the demands of it. I feel blessed that I have the support system of a small but sturdy network of friends and family. 

But I also wish that everyone is able to avail it. The small joy of having someone to talk to, a shoulder to lean on. There I am sure ample avenues to talk to someone when in need, someone outside the network of friends and family. If anyone reading this, feels the need to talk to me, please feel free. The feeling of acute sadness, when nothing feels nice and one seems to lack the energy to do the basic tasks can be quite debilitating. There need not be a concrete reason for it or there can be a mixture of many. It is not a pleasant feeling to silently sit and suffer. I hope everyone realises when they are in need of a good talk, when they are in need of a mental break. And I hope everyone who is dealing  with it, a speedy recovery. 

Parents are annoying indeed!

 You remember when I wrote about my super duper annoying parents? Well they have proven to be more so with the passing years. 

My sister had gone to India to visit them during the Christmas vacations. During one of the video calls, I mentioned that it had been nearly years since I had mutton curry and had in fact forgotten the taste of it. Not that I am a bit mutton eater or even a non veg eater for that matter. 

But it was something my parents registered. The day before my sister was to start, Papa got the best mutton he could find. Mummy sweated for hours to make her signature curry. They froze it so that it remained fresh for the more than 24 hours it had to spend in different modes of transport to cross continents. And finally I had a taste of mummy made most deletable mutton curry ever! Every spoon tasted of love and concern and the undying commitment my parents have for their kids. In our younger days they did their bit of guiding and scolding. But now that we are adults, when they pamper us with these small but super meaningful gestures, it feels like divinity itself. No one spoils an adult like their parents!!

Cant help but reminisce

 The total bliss of Christmas holidays are over. And I can't help but look back at the wonderful time that went by. It went by in the blink of an eye, it seems. 

The kids' holidays kickstarted on the 19th of December and since then the 'holiday spirit' kicked in. There was no getting up right on time, getting their breakfast, hair and uniform fixed and rushing out of the door before logging into work. And then the madness of the evening with the pickup and the meal preps and what not. The mornings and evenings were way more relaxed and that for me is the best part. 

We as often is the norm got an early finish on the 23rd which was the last working day before Christmas. And then there were some more phone calls to home and general relaxing since I had an invitation from a friend for dinner that night. My friend is Romanian and vegan. And she had made some wonderful stuff combining those two characteristics. I was wary of the kids since they are very fussy eaters. But they fared amazingly. She also presented them some kid friendly mock-tails and adult looking desserts which pleased them to no end!

We do not do much over Christmas but this year we had plans for an early celebration for Pumki's birthday. That warranted a cake! So on Christmas eve we marched to the nearby shopping centre to get cream and cocoa powder which were essential ingredients. On the way we met a few strangers and it was a very pleasant feeling to wish random people. 

We had two ginormous lego sets for the kids as Christmas gift. Since they would take a load of time to build, they were game for them to be handed over a day before Christmas. The excitement was just awesome to see them unravel the gifts and get building on them. They enjoy lego a lot and it is a very immersive gift. Thanks to them being tied up with it, I was able to do a ton of cleaning in the house and also catch up on 2 Hindi movies! I generally dont watch movies since I cannot give the time for it. A disjointed movie is not a good experience to have. But this time I was able to carve out the hours to watch Doctor G and Freddy. And the best part was, they were very good movies. Two that I would definitely recommend. 

Christmas Eve and Christmas day were more or less hibernation mode for us. There were four of us in the living room, the heating on: K playing video games, girls on lego and me reading a book or watching the movies. It was so deeply pleasurable. It was just immensely joyful to feel that warm wrap of family. It was good that we were having this restful time, since there were some busy days coming up :D