A different summer

 Sitting on the 21 of July I was a bundle of emotions. Things have changed so much over the past few days. I intended to write this post earlier but then....

Well so this is how the story goes. I submitted my assignment on the 21 st and was informed  that I would get some feedback by the next day. It was a day filled with trepidation. I received no feedback. Which I felt was all right because it is not easy to evaluate a submission for a technical role at senior level. Also the evaluators would have their regular day job to  manage as well. Wednesday I had the phone on the highest ring volume and waited. It was also the day the kids started their summer holidays. K, I and the kids had plans to goto an indoor jump park to burn some calories. We were getting ready and the phone rang! Well, thank God it was nt just got news, it was amazing news. I had done quite well in the tech test. They wanted to schedule the next round. I was mostly available since I was not doing anything useful at my current place. The interview was scheduled for the next week Monday. 

I spent the Thursday preparing. Friday was a play date for both the kids. It was a good day with both being busy with their friends. It was also quite enjoyable for me since without much workload it was the first time I was able to host a play date. My parents came over from my sisters house that evening so it was a lovely full house. 

I had my interview on Monday and by the evening I got the information that I had secured the role! It was just amazing to land with the job which would be more my cup of tea. I had to inform the other place that I would not be joining them. It was to be quite an unpleasant conversation but something which had to be done. I prayed for the reason to just tumble out and not burn any bridges or be supremely uncomfortable. Thankfully it somehow segued into the realm of personal circumstances where I was looking for a more stressful free and less demanding role. Again by the grace of God the recruiter went away with the reason without challenging me much.

That door was nice and firmly closed. Now I was relaxed. Though I had to take a pay cut I was happy with the role and the company. Sometimes it is for the greater good. 

There were 3 more official days at my firm. I was itching to send my last day at work email 😂 

I was having a time of my life with the summer holidays though. There was no work to bother about. I was doing some light reading to keep pace with the changes in technology. There were long walks with the kids. There was a lot of time spent playing board games. There was a lot of video gaming as well. The schedules are messed. Kids would be up till 11pm and I was hitting the bed after midnight. It was exhilarating. Something I would never have done with work. I wasn't on holiday but I had no work. It was the most amazing 2 weeks. 

Finally we got to the 31st of July which was my last working day with my organisation. I informed the people I had worked closely with. It was amazing to get the good luck wishes from my wonderful colleagues. It was an official end to a chapter. A very weird chapter. I was being paid a lot and had a lot of perks. But I never had challenging work. I had good work life balance but then there were some funny characters to deal with. I had unlimited leave but then each day wasn't worth much. It was funny. I had no reason to leave and no reason to stay. It was a limbo. And finally push came to shove and I had to leave. An unceremonious leave. But hopefully all for good 

My favourite holiday

 My favourite holiday is when my parents are with me. And I had the awesome opportunity of having them for a month from September to today. With my parents around it is a strange warmth. It is a mix of nostalgia and moving on. 

My father is the routine bound person who adheres to his schedule with passion. His meal times, his walks, his sports viewing , his news viewing  - every thing goes on with an  absolute accuracy of time. Being a bit out of his comfort zone in the UK and given his age he is a bit dependant on us for every need of his. It makes me feel sad for the cruelty time inflicts on us. But at the same time it also makes me feel happy to be able to take care of him in this reversed roles state.

My mom is also much weakened. Her legs annoy her and her stamina is lower. Still she's always there. Aggressively cleaning the dishes and loading the dishwasher, preparing meals with such love and always ready to make her oh so amazing tea. Today till they left the house she was doing one thing or the other - cooking, cleaning, making extra tea  and even offered to keep a cup for my sister and I to have later. Her love is something that is not of this world.

This year I was lucky to experience Durga Puja with them. I am not a religious person. But Puja has a certain vibe for me maybe because of the school holidays that were a part and parcel of it growing up. We went to see a couple of celebrations in Leeds. Though they were nothing compared to the pomp and show back home it was still joyful spending the time with papa mummy and experiencing the difference. Instead of the traditional prasad we ended up having pizzas since we were too tired to cook. The novelty of it just warmed my heart. 7 of us, 3 generations all wrapped in the warmth of love and companionship. It was just surreal.

But God had another surreal surprise in store for us. The Northern Lights! We had missed the first show on 10th of May. It was my sisters birthday in May on the night of the aurora sightings all over UK. We had missed it. But on 10th of October we were not to be fooled! We were lucky to view the spectacle from our house. It was amazing, splendid, unprecedented and exciting! I just can't thank God enough for letting me experience it with my parents.

I will only thank my good fortune and Almighty for having such lovely enriching experiences with my parents. I hope they enjoyed it too. We will hopefully host them soon again. We will hopefully make more memories together again. We will hopefully enjoy the warmth of each other's company again. Till then we will endure this separation and live through the emptiness. 

The tours and the trips and bye to a year

 The second day in Marrakech was a trip to the high Atlas mountains. It is populated by the native Berber people who still keep a lot of their traditional lifestyle. It was a very interesting trip with lot of beautiful places to stop by. We were taken through a lot of traditions that people still follow such as the importance of the village elder and how they determine a lot of the happenings in the 11 or so villages, the tradition of many generations living under the same roof and so on. It was a very nice tour and the cherry on the cake was a camel ride through the outskirts of Agafay desert. We got dressed in traditional Berber clothes and rode the camels. It wasn't a real desert and more like the outskirts of it. So the adults felt a bit duped. But the kids just lovedddddd it! Once the ride was over, they spent some time petting the camels and taking pictures. The girls kept clamouring for more camel rides and I booked in the last day to spend one evening riding camels 😊

The second day we went to the Le Jardin Majorelle or Majorelle Garden. It is a beautiful garden by French artist Jacques Majorelle which was revived by Yves Saint Laurent. It was a beautiful garden in the most vibrant blue and yellow colors and the most majestic cactii. The blue and yellow colors are trademarked and hence for sale in the gift shop. But since we did not have any check in luggage we were not sure if we would be allowed to bring the color cans in our hand bags. We had to give them a miss but one day we intend to go back and get those out of the world colors. 

Once back, the kids and K took to the swimming pool. Once they had burnt some calories doing that, we went to ingest some. 😆 We made our next attempt to reach the historic quarters of the Medina. It was to be a nearly 30 mins walk in a straight line. But we got side tracked, got lost, asked a bunch of people and finally landed in the hustle and bustle that is the Medina. The Medina is not for the faint hearted. I am from India and have seen crowds. But they dont have crowds here. Its a bee hive as has been quoted in many sites. There is utter order in the comings and goings but the busy-ness is something one has to see to believe. There are souks which are the traditional shops which sell a variety of stuff from carpets to bags to spices and garments. We had food in a small shop and made our way to the main square called Jama-el-Fna. This place was an assault on the senses. There was just so much going on from street vendors to street performers to post hotels. There were all sorts of aromas and it was being in a live museum. We went to have some refreshments in a roof top hotel and enjoy the sights from there. As dusk fell and the lights got switched on, the atmosphere turned electric. There was music, dancing, hawkers asking to try their wares. We bought a few souvenirs and took a few pictures and tried to capture this novel experience. We took a  horse drawn carriage to our hotel. It felt like home being in the modern part of the town to be honest. The Medina was a bit over whelming for our mild senses 😀

The next day was spent mostly sight seeing in the Medina. It was amazing to see the architecture in Bahia palace, be wide eyed at the beauty of Badi palace and savour the work in Madrasa Ben Yousouf. It was a tiring day. So much so we still had Le Jardin Secret or the Secret Garden remaining for the last day. It was also New Year's Eve. I have never been away from home on 31st December. It was a novel and unique experience for me at least. I loved to see how a different city decked up for New Year. There were people walking with little children around 2230 which is not a sight I get to see in the UK. I did not see any fireworks etc either which is more of the UK tradition. It was amazing to do nothing but stroll around an unknown city, discovering little bits of it, unmindful of a man made construct such as a New Year.

It has made me think if going away and doing something non New Yearly for New Year. Takes the pressure of doing something special. But then its a bit of a landmark to celebrate as well. The calendar itself is changed and not just a page turned. I am not sure which is better. But I certainly enjoyed ignoring it last year. 

The next day was to be our last day of tours in Marrakech.

The planets align again!

 I didn't think it would ever happen again. For the planets align only once in a lifetime isn't it? But they did again! And we ended up celebrating papa and K's birthday in person together again! 

The birthday week kick started with mummy 's on the 4th of July. It was a busy day. Chiyaa had an open evening at her to be secondary school. The evening was packed. But we managed to get some cake and chicken for mummy in the afternoon since we expected a busy evening. It was a lovely sunny day. Mummy enjoyed a nice little walk with my sister. Papa mowed the lawn and did some cleaning activities around the house. It was the proper countdown to their return as papa kept saying. They are slated to go back to India on 2nd August and we could feel the pangs of separation as the birthday week approached. But then life goes on and we take pleasure in the small things that are bestowed upon us. I was happy that again mummy was with the people she literally dotes the most. She is also a very closed person with a small social circle which mostly entails family. She is closest to her daughters and loves being with her grand-daughters. So, I was pretty sure that, with no gifts, no big celebrations, she was still at her most satisfied.

3 days later it was K and Papa's birthday. By the stroke of luck it was a school holiday for the kids for teacher training. It was just pure coincidence and again something that had never happened before!! We took the day off and planned a day trip to York. Pumpki had gone there to a chocolate museum and she was keen that we all go there and experience what she had. And here Wham! came another brilliant coincidence. It was World Chocolate Day! It was all getting tied in a neat little parcel by some divinity. The trip at York's Chocolate Story was quite good. We stopped by for some lunch and then walked over one of the parts of the Roman walls that were built to protect the city of York. It was quite an experience. But by this time, the sun was getting on everyone's nerves. It was becoming a bit too hot and tiring especially for the kids and Papa. There were a lot more sights to see, but we decided to take the train back home. We quite enjoyed the trip and it was a wrap to a good day spent together.  

The days together might be drawing to an end, but we are so loving all the sweet moments that we can capture. I could not thank God enough for these days. 

A tough time but a time together

 The week before last was half term break for the girls. I had my sister and parents at home for the duration. It was full IPL knockout matches time and it was brilliant fun watching the nail biting matches with Papa. We were looking forward to the oh so important match on the Sunday. On Saturday evening we decided to make some rice at night to make the Odia delicacy of pakhala since it was to be a hot day on Sunday. Mummy put the rice in the pressure cooker and it was getting cooked. My sister Lichie was making her dinner. All of a sudden there was an ear splitting noise. We all rushed to the kitchen and realised that the pressure cooker had somehow burst. There was rice all over. The whistle was no where to be found. The over hob extractor had been badly dented. But the lid had managed to hit Lichie on her shoulder. She was bleeding from near her eye brow and her lips. One of her tooth seemed to have been knocked off. There was blood and we had no idea of the extent of damage. The shock was terrible for Lichie and she was hysterical. The kids were afraid and papa mummy were very very worried and upset. We immediately rang the emergency services. We were given an estimated time of 90 minutes for their arrival. In the interim we kept giving cold compress to her.

It had been such a warm and joyful Saturday. We all had enjoyed a lovely spat of gardening. We were watching Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone since Pumpki had also finished reading the book. Now we could all enjoy the movie without any spoilers. We were so looking forward to the relaxed movie experience. And we were hit by this bad accident. To distract Lichie we thought it might be good to resume watching the movie after the kitchen had been cleaned up. 

Around 2140  we had the emergency responders. They made an assessment of her and deemed her ok from a health perspective. Her teeth needed attention from the emergency dental services which we were to get in touch with via another channel. We did so and managed to get an appointment for the next day. With the preliminary assessment and the recommended approach to reduce pain we were a bit at ease. She had steam burns and was in terrible pain, but there was nothing but waiting for things to settle down. The appointment with the dentist the next day went ok too and he was able to do a good job of patching up the knocked up tooth. Luckily there was only one tooth that had been impacted. It had broken in the middle and there was a laceration in the gum. It would take time to settle down and it was all a waiting game now. 

With this accident, we had to put on hold some of the travel plans during the half term holiday.  By Thursday when she was a bit settled, we made a trip to a nearby heritage house. It was amazing day spent outside and a welcome break from the tension of recent events. The kids and I mean while were being bothered by a nasty cough over the past 2 weeks. This week it was particularly aggravated. Mummy was rushing and tending to all of us giving us her utmost care to make us better. 

The kids started school last Monday and this week thankfully we are all together getting back in the routine. It was a very tough time and we sort of have a phobia of pressure cookers now. K and I were feeling a bit guilty that this happened in our house with our equipment. But we also dread the situation that it would have happened to the kids or mummy. That is a big nightmare scenario. Thankfully God is taking us to a healing place. Thankfully we were all together during this testing time to support each other. This too shall pass. 😀

Step 8: final moments with family

 We were to start back from Bangalore on Sunday afternoon. The morning one of K's cousin had plans to visit us. It was amazing to have the cousins meet up and our kids play along. It is splendid to watch how kids shed all barriers and get going with other kids, even if meeting them for the first time. As the afternoon drew to a close, we had to bid each other tearful goodbyes and board the train to return to Chennai.

At Chennai we had a couple of days before it was the end of the lovely time. The Monday was spent in a lot of bureaucratic tasks. Thankfully a lot was getting done at a quick and easy pace. It was really a sign of the new times that there was so much efficiency in so many government departments. Tuesday was spent visiting some more of K's side of the family. The kids were slathered with love and pampered to the hilt. I am sure they could not have asked for more. 

We had to start realigning for the return. It was amazing to have spent all the time with people who valued us. K and I were very happy with our friends doing so well in their lives. The chats I had with them ranging from college to kids to menopause was brilliant. There was just so much over arching affection. I dont have a lot of friends and still this bunch of people made so much effort over the past days, it was enough for me.  It was one of the most amazing time this year and I will be ever thankful to God for it :) 

The warmth of family

K left for India last Saturday. My parents and Lichie are here with me since. And I must tell this has been the most unique 7 days of my life. And there are 4 more to go before the kids and I start to India. 

I have to do the drops which was K s responsibility. It adds an extra task to the day and makes it a bit more hectic. The bit I dislike the most is bidding them goodbye. Pick ups are a much better task when they come all happy and running telling tales of the day. Once the kids are dropped at school, it's the four of us. A proper throwback to our school days. It is very different. Those days 30 years ago were full of struggle. Both our parents were working, we kids were stressed with school work. Things have taken such a turn now. We are older and have so much to converse with our parents. Along with work there  are cups of tea and random discussions on things like why are pension ages increasing, what is the role of opposition and many many more.

We all go for some sort of exercise, not together but around the same time. It is lovely to come back all refreshed and then relish the delicious lunch mummy makes. She makes the simplest but tastiest stuff. Once the kids are back there is the usual running around after them. We play chess, monopoly,watch some documentary or again just start chatting.

As the days wind down, I can't help but treasure them. By some weird twists and turns God has brought me to this juncture which I never thought was imaginable. I am with my most favourite people. 

Not all gloom and doom

 My last post had roomie dear quite worried. Yes things are going a bit awry, but there are always silver linings. Even when it snows! This winter, we did not have any snow.  There were cold snaps, there were Arctic winds, but no  snow. Till finally in March, while we are in cusp of spring, it snowed. Again, Arctic winds were blamed for the phenomenon. But who cares about the why. We are concerned with the what to do with it. :) 

We have recently got a sleeping bag. Our intention is to probably camp in the garden in the summers. But well who has seen summer when its snowing in March :D So we offered the girls if they want to be warm and cosy in the sleeping bag on the floor of our room. Such excitement among the lil ones at the idea of trying something different. We 4 were all cosied up like a family of hedgehogs with the heating on in full blast. We had a truly tropical environment going on over there :D

The next day, the school closed at 1345 because of bad weather. The girls were over the moon! Who doesn't like a shorter work day :D They came in, had mug fulls of hot chocolate and then it was TV first before anything. After the extra screen time, it was back to the usual rigmarole of wrapping up for the day.

But we woke up to a ton of good news! There was a lot of snow and the school was closed due to bad weather. The kids as expected got ready in their thickest coats and got playing on the snow :) It was all going too well, till there was a fight regarding the snow man. All went down hill from there. Kids were bickering, crying and since K and I had to work, we were joining in with shouting as well. Not good. But I had a back up. We decided to goto my sister's place! (Not sure if I mentioned but she has a place of her own in Leeds and my annoying parents are with her :D ) So without further ado, we went to her place. It was a surprise and what a pleasant surprise it was! It was wonderful again to work in the sunny confines of her home with the sunny vibes of family cheering up a really cold day. Small joys, small wins :) 

Parents are annoying indeed!

 You remember when I wrote about my super duper annoying parents? Well they have proven to be more so with the passing years. 

My sister had gone to India to visit them during the Christmas vacations. During one of the video calls, I mentioned that it had been nearly years since I had mutton curry and had in fact forgotten the taste of it. Not that I am a bit mutton eater or even a non veg eater for that matter. 

But it was something my parents registered. The day before my sister was to start, Papa got the best mutton he could find. Mummy sweated for hours to make her signature curry. They froze it so that it remained fresh for the more than 24 hours it had to spend in different modes of transport to cross continents. And finally I had a taste of mummy made most deletable mutton curry ever! Every spoon tasted of love and concern and the undying commitment my parents have for their kids. In our younger days they did their bit of guiding and scolding. But now that we are adults, when they pamper us with these small but super meaningful gestures, it feels like divinity itself. No one spoils an adult like their parents!!

Cant help but reminisce

 The total bliss of Christmas holidays are over. And I can't help but look back at the wonderful time that went by. It went by in the blink of an eye, it seems. 

The kids' holidays kickstarted on the 19th of December and since then the 'holiday spirit' kicked in. There was no getting up right on time, getting their breakfast, hair and uniform fixed and rushing out of the door before logging into work. And then the madness of the evening with the pickup and the meal preps and what not. The mornings and evenings were way more relaxed and that for me is the best part. 

We as often is the norm got an early finish on the 23rd which was the last working day before Christmas. And then there were some more phone calls to home and general relaxing since I had an invitation from a friend for dinner that night. My friend is Romanian and vegan. And she had made some wonderful stuff combining those two characteristics. I was wary of the kids since they are very fussy eaters. But they fared amazingly. She also presented them some kid friendly mock-tails and adult looking desserts which pleased them to no end!

We do not do much over Christmas but this year we had plans for an early celebration for Pumki's birthday. That warranted a cake! So on Christmas eve we marched to the nearby shopping centre to get cream and cocoa powder which were essential ingredients. On the way we met a few strangers and it was a very pleasant feeling to wish random people. 

We had two ginormous lego sets for the kids as Christmas gift. Since they would take a load of time to build, they were game for them to be handed over a day before Christmas. The excitement was just awesome to see them unravel the gifts and get building on them. They enjoy lego a lot and it is a very immersive gift. Thanks to them being tied up with it, I was able to do a ton of cleaning in the house and also catch up on 2 Hindi movies! I generally dont watch movies since I cannot give the time for it. A disjointed movie is not a good experience to have. But this time I was able to carve out the hours to watch Doctor G and Freddy. And the best part was, they were very good movies. Two that I would definitely recommend. 

Christmas Eve and Christmas day were more or less hibernation mode for us. There were four of us in the living room, the heating on: K playing video games, girls on lego and me reading a book or watching the movies. It was so deeply pleasurable. It was just immensely joyful to feel that warm wrap of family. It was good that we were having this restful time, since there were some busy days coming up :D 

Yours thankfully :)

 I turned a year older. Not that it matters. But the day is made so special by people who love me that I can only thank God.

It started with Chiyaa taking the responsibility to bake a cake. As I have said, we love the channel Bake with Shivesh and his Devil's food Cake. She took the full ownership to check the recipe and mix the ingredients while taking minor guidance from me. It was amazing to see her so committed to the effort. Pumpki was not so keen on it initially. But then enthusiasm like all emotions is contagious. She too joined in and the end result was an amazing, luscious cake! On my birthday, breakfast was cake! What can be more awesome than that for a child 

K and I had the day off. We have realised that the city centre is a 5.5 km walk from our home. For his birthday we had walked the distance and rewarded ourselves with a Japanese buffet. We decided to do a repeat this year. It was a bit hard to walk in the 0 degrees temperature, loaded with heavy jacket and scarves and hats and what not. But we still managed it.  The buffet was super satisfying and I must say I am so so in love with Japanese food!

Food done, we did some window shopping and took in the sights of the Christmas decorations. There were a lot of tempting options, but then we moved on with promises to come back and shop at leisure some other day. Because school pick ups beckoned. 

We had plans to go for an ice skating session at a nearby mall. We went all geared up. And my God! were we awful at it. The kids fell and I had to control my laughter and pick them up, all the while making sure that I did not fall! There were some tears of frustration from the kids for sure, but I will applaud them for taking it on their chin and trying their best. They even managed to stand and take a few steps without help. For the first attempt I would say it was amazing! I on the contrary was determined not to FALL on my birthday. So I clung on to the side railings as if my dear life depended on it. I kept going sssssslide quite some time and on the verge of falling on my backside, but then my arm strength worked. And I was able to cling to the side walls without a fall. After a bitter sweet experience, we have decided to go for skating lessons nearby :) 

End of session, we re-fuelled ourselves and then called it a day. A day of sweet nothings. A day full of love from family and a lovely set of friends who keep me in their thoughts. I could not be more thankful. 

Stupid Distances

 Last Saturday my sister went to India for the winter holidays. She was with me for a little over a year. It is funny how time flies. Reminds me of a quote "The days are long years are short". It seems like a blink of an eye that she came here. There was the initial adjustment. Then she got used to stuff. And then she started pitching in to some house tasks being a life saver. Especially cooking the lunch on a Saturday (Saturday mornings are madness because of the girls' swimming. There is utter chaos getting both of them out for their lessons. Then its an even tiring routine of getting them showered and drying their long hair) She used to take the very important task of getting hot meals ready on a Saturday morning. So much so that when last Saturday when the girls came back, the first thing they said was "We are so used to having her at home :) "

She used to play with the girls especially Pumpki who loved bullying her and playing with her in equal measure :D It is seamless how someone new comes over and then becomes an integral part of things. She has been here through two Diwalis. She has been here when I used to goto work in my last place for the 2 days. She has been here when I was preparing for a new role and was isolating myself to prepare. She has been here when I got the new role and had the first months of realignment. She has been here on family holidays. She has had fights with me! Like all siblings, we too have our fare share of fights :) But like most siblings, we patch up quite quickly too :) 

I miss the emptiness that she has left. I miss sitting beside her and working. I miss sharing memes with her and chuckling. I miss her cups of tea. There is some solace, she will be back in 6 weeks and she is with our parents who miss her too! The distances are just so stupid :( 

A weird Diwali

 What should follow a different Dussera, a weird Diwali of course :) 

Diwali is a private affair for us. Well, everything is a private affair for you :) K and I are supremely un-social individuals and it goes without saying that we both enjoy keeping stuff within the four walls of the house. 

This year coincidentally we planned a lunch with a family friend of ours. We were to have them over on the day preceding Diwali. She and her husband are vegans and we really had to rake our heads to come up with a decent menu. We finally zeroed in on courgette koftas, jeera rice, carrot halwa made with oat milk and vadas for starters. Coming up with the menu was the biggest task. They were to come over on Sunday and we started prepping on Saturday evening. I had the carrot halwa and the kofta curry ready. The carrot halwa tasted like a pure disaster which had us thinking about the alternatives. The only thing that could salvage it was condensed milk. I had seen cans of vegan condensed and evaporated milk in the supermarkets. K had to make a quick trip to get things. But as it turned out, there were none to be found - guess all Indians had hoarded them to get the 'alternative' desserts right :) Disappointed K came back with vegan custard, vegan Horlicks!! And 2 cans of 'normal' condensed milk. All of them would be of no use to me.

There was an even bigger problem. Pumpki was sick. She had vomitted nearly 4 times in the interim and complained of a bad tummy ache. We thought it would settle down and continued with the plans. But around 11 at night, she was still unsettled and I had to tell our friend that we wouldnt be able to go ahead with the next day's plans. She was very understanding and totally empathised that such things were part of daily life. 

We made some calls to the medical services and they gave us an appointment for the next day to have Pumpki checked out by a doctor. She was quite poorly through out the day. The doctor reassured us that it seemed like an acute gastroenteritis infection. We were asked to continue fluids and she would be better in a couple of days. The poor girl had a lot of stomach ache and was very restless. Her vomitting had lessened but she was still not fit enough. That night she was way better which was such a welcome relief from the previous two nights where would get up either to puke or complain of a bad stomach ache. She was in pure distress. 

On the morning of Diwali, she woke up way more cheerful. She was in no position to eat or drink much but had small quantities of milk. I quickly whipped some savouries and sweets for Diwali. When Pumpki was a bit better we decided to step out to the city centre so that she would get some fresh air. Also a trip to the Lego shop was a big incentive to cheer her up. We made our way to the city centre and spent much of the day strolling through the shops. Once back, she seemed much better though tired. She had her first meal of a bowl of pasta after two days which was really a big relief to us all. 

We had managed some fireworks and ended Diwali on a happy note.

 

A different Dussera

 We are not the conventional family. We don't do most festivals in the conventional way. We don't have a prayer room. For occasions the children make cards wishing the Gods a happy birthday and we cook some special food. Et voila!

Navratri /Durga puja is quite popular where my husband and I hail from. But we don't celebrate it with  much  furore. The local temple is too crowded and showy for our liking. But every year something special tends to happen around this time of the year.

This year K ended up eating some cakes meant for the kids. ( A grave offence indeed!)😃 As compensation he promised cakes from a bakery which makes the most amazing fresh cream cakes. The bakery boasts of some fabulous Indian sweets too. And K couldn't resist the temptation to buy some. It was  brilliant  to have the sweets along with some samosas which got devoured in a jiff. A wonderful, unexpected Durga puja.

Wishing you all the very best of festive times 🤗

31

 Is the number of bones in the human spinal chord. They are the ones which keep us erect and are a defining feature of us humans. Nothing is more annoying than a niggling back pain. As a sufferer of sciatica, I have quite a few aches and pains and I marvel at people who have more debilitating conditions and carry on life with a smile. 

This post is not to elaborate of the numerous age related aches and pains I have ;) This post is about the backbones to my existence - my family. As I heaved a sigh of relief at the result of my job application, I could not help but be thankful to the wonderful bunch of people around me. I had to write a program as part of the process. The language was totally new for me, so it was a simultaneous learning and programming experience. Which was stressful and time taking. I set myself a target for completion. During this time I refrained from any of the household chores. My sister picked them up with full gusto. She did the cooking, the cleaning and the lot. My kids were absolute champions too. When I used to take a break, they would ask, "Mummy have you finished?" They kept asking me innocent questions about how the test was going, when the results will be out etc etc. They tried not to come and ask me for stuff when they needed it. They were generally quieter and fuss free. The most important sacrifice they were making was at bedtime. I put them to sleep. But for the 4-5 days I was writing the code, K took that responsibility. K does not like reading bed time stories and the kids prefer me beside them to tuck them in. But for the 5 nights, they adjusted.

I am so thankful to have my backbones. I think about the innumerable women who had to give up a career and their passions for the lack of a supportive family. I have one more blessing to count in this respect.

The cleanse post

 The spring half term gets over today. And I can look back at a wonderful 2 weeks of  this year. The first week was occupied by a trip to Jersey. It was a fabulous time away. Though we would have liked the weather to be a bit warmer, it was still a very lovely time. A trip we would definitely want to make again. 

Once we were back from Jersey, K felt a bit poorly. We blamed it on the travel stress. But something struck him as odd and he decided to take a Covid test. It came out positive and he happily retired to the bedroom with his stack of anime to watch :) I took a test too though I felt absolutely fine. It was just so that I did not come in too close a contact with the kids. I came out positive too :( I did not feel unwell at all. But to avoid the sickness from spreading to the kids, I decided to curtail hugging or kissing them, atleast for the first 5 days of recommended isolation. 

It was hard to stay away from the kids. But they managed themselves fabulously. As soon as they had 2 positive cases in the house, they started performing tests on their toys. Some toys tested positive while the others negative. The ones which tested positive were immediately sent for bed rest while the healthy ones started making cards and reading books (from a distance) to the ill ones. It was amazing to see the girls play into the late afternoon with this unique scenario. 

Since we could'nt step out, the girls were pretty much home bound too. But it was amazing to see them play and engage with each other. With some guidance, they had their food, took their shower and generally minded themselves. I could not hug them or kiss them till the 5 days of recommended quarantine and they kept asking every day, if it was 5 days yet :) 

At the end of 5 days, boy did we give them a squeeze!! It is amazing to see how self reliant my little girls are. They manage a ton of stuff by themselves. As the Easter long weekend kicked in, we were thankfully out to roam the world. There were a lot of walks with the kids, tasks in the garden and general enjoyment of sunshine. As the kids go back to school today I yearn for the lovely time with them again.

A gift from God?

 Everyone faces the January blues. The end of the relaxed Christmas days are awful. And what stretches in front is a whole new year, with all plans up in the air, holidays still nebulous and the weather still not the one to warm the hearts. Luckily this year, since 1st January was on a Saturday, we got a day's leave on the following Monday. This made the first work week back, a 4 day one! Woo hoo! A single non-working day kinda made all the difference. 

The next week, there was all kinds of jokes in my team where we all made fun of finally having a much cherished 5 day working week back. That evening when I went to pick up Chiyaa, I could see from the class window that her face looked glum. I was a bit worried that she had a fight with someone or some incident that made her upset. As soon as she was out, she complained of a headache. We were sure its nothing and back home gave her the recommended dose of paracetamol. She felt much better, but that night had a raging fever. Which called in for a PCR test for Covid the next day and a day off school. She spent the day playing with  Lego, re-reading Harry Potter and watching some television. The next day her PCR test came back positive which meant she would need to isolate for a minimum of 5 days or a maximum of 10 days. If she got a negative home test for 2 successive days within day 5 and day 10 she could go back to school. Not ideal, given the fact that she loves school, but then there was no way out. Strangely, with one kid not going to school, the workload seemed lesser. There was one less uniform to take care of, one less bag and bottle to check, one less head of messy hair to comb on time and one less kid to pick up (which surprisingly saves time!) Also since she had to isolate, I didnt feel the extra pressure of taking her on walks and keeping her active. She could literally be at home. I ensured she had a bit more fruits at home and a daily dose of vitamin C in the form on 2 mandatory oranges. Luckily Chiyaa is quite self reliant as well, and manages herself with books and toys. So that she does not become totally lackadaisical, we put some educational sites up for her. She took to them quite well and completed all the required courses. It is quite cute to have a kid at home too. She roams around from room to room and I could go for occasional cuddles to her. She would come up with sudden Harry Potter trivia and bore us to death. It was awesome to snuggle with her at night, since we kept the kids separate while sleeping. Sleeping between both of them is spine crushing, but just one is swell :) 

 We started taking daily tests, but even on day 6 and 7 we were not getting the negative results. It was a very very faint line, but not  a sure shot negative. This was bringing us close to 20th which would be her day 9. 20th is K and my anniversary and we had planned the day off. We both are into running. K much more than me now! He will be running a ton of races this year. I do not believe in driving to a place, paying money and running a race to come 1021 in it. Like a few for fun is ok, but not on a regular basis. But for the first time ever we are having a local town run, being organised by the local run club of which K is a part. Since he is running all over the world, I told I would be keen to run 10 kms in that race. But I havent run that length in the recent past. So 20th was the day decided by us to run and check how I was faring. Now 20th happened to be day 9 for Chiyaa. We needed a negative result on day 8 and day 9 to send her to school. Day 7 the line on the test was super duper faint, in fact you would blink and miss it. We were confident that we would get a negative on next day. And we did!! Phew! On 20th morning, we got her ready on time. It was quite a change after the past 10 days when she was getting up whenever she wanted and spending some time reading in bed :) But being the enthusiastic school goer, she got ready and took her test. It  was a sure shot negative!! Yay!! The girls dropped at school off went the old couple on their run ;)

The run was fabulous. It was horribly cold, but it was amazingly sunny. What else do we need? Run done, we came home to some fabulous tea and rice kheer made by my sis. After a quick shower, we popped up to a local middle eastern restaurant. The owner happens to run with K in the run club. He also happened to be lunching then. And he happened to take an item off our bill! What a sweet though inadvertent anniversary gift! Once out, we spotted a plant shop nearby and of course I had to make K spend on a couple :)  We had absolutely no engagements for the evening. Which meant K could play video games and I could play Lego with the kids! A God gifted day indeed :) 

I know what I was missing

 A holiday! And I finally had one. Not a day out in the parks, not a trip to the nearby zoo and back. But a proper staying out of home holiday. And the last one we had was two years ago!

Faced with the pandemic we took a very conservative stance towards holidays. As the world opened up briefly last year around summer, we decided it was still too early to go for holidays and trips. We were more than content with the local forests and parks. During winter last year, we made a few day trips to zoos and other outdoor venues. In UK internal travel restrictions were to lifted on the 18th of May. But we had to plan in advance. Again we took a very conservative stance and booked a place close by thus making sure we were within England. Not only that the place was 1 hour from home which made it the same county which would ensure that we would mostly be under similar restrictions if things went downhill.

But planning a holiday is no child's play. Add the fact that we were looking at summer half term which is a very busy time given the probability of good weather. Also there were millions of stir crazy Britons who were desperate for a holiday..accommodations of choice were in short supply. I was close to giving up. But my dear sis nudged me on asking me to keep looking for my sake. It is important to rejuvenate and travel is rejuvenating.

I was getting frustrated. But K happened to send me a link for a probable destination. It had my interest piqued. One thing led to another and I booked a forest retreat with hot tubs. If nothing else, the hot tubs would be a novel experience ;)

There was a month and a half's wait before the holiday. A week to it I asked the kids to pack their stuff. They got super super excited. They took out bags, packed clothes, sweaters, jackets, and started counting down. Me being me had to review their choice of clothes and accessories. And as with any holiday I decided the kids needed new clothes. Nearly a year of lockdown had depleted their clothes reserves and added a lot to their pyjama collections. So 4 days prior to the hols the three girls were sitting all agog in front of the laptop choosing dresses. I ended up purchasing some real stylish clothes for the girls which was a wholly entertaining experience in itself. We made a trip to the mall to collect the clothes and tried them on there. It was novel experience since trial rooms were not available to avoid social contact. Doing something as trivial and mundane as trying out clothes made me feel good. It was some amazing mother daughters time I must say! As a pleasant surprise we met one of Pumpki 's nursery friends and her mom and spent close to an hour talking while the kids played. It was a really pleasant experience.

The day of the holiday the kids could not contain their excitement. Somehow the nice weather made sure that we were in the garden pottering about. It had been a very busy weekend with a lot of washing of winter wear and the likes and packing them up. It was finally warm!!!

Our holiday was quaint and idyllic. The sceneries were just breathtaking. There were few crowds and many places were just left for us. It was very amazing just walking and walking. The kids showed immense will power in walking close to 10k -13k steps every single day. The hot tub at the end of the day was a major motivation to keep them going. Seeing their enthusiasm we are sure they are up for many walking holidays in the future. :) We all watched a ton of TV, I read and finished the good part of a book. We ate take away food and just relished living some where else. 

It was the best 4 days we spent in a long long time. It was just splendid and I daresay perfect! Touchwood.

Parents are so annoying

 They leave and we are left with all the emptiness.

It is so weird to turn the intruder alarm off when I wake up in the morning, because for the past 8 and a half months Papa who used to wake around 5 was in charge of it. 

It is disconcerting to walk downstairs and find every room dark. Mummy who used to wake up next used to ensure that all the curtains were drawn back and the rooms were awash with light. If it was one of the chill mornings,she would also turn the heater on to get the rooms to just the right temperature.

Mummy would not even let me make my morning glass of warm water and cup of coffee. She would ask me to log in straight away and bring the two things to my desk. 

Papa had a keen eye on the weather and used to advise us which day would be best to do the laundry and put the clothes out for drying. Being the economically wise one, he didn't want us to waste electricity in running the tumble drier. 

Papa would clean vaccum the house every alternate day, clean the windows and even the toilets and bath once a week.

Mummy of course had taken over the kitchen.

K and I had time to go on runs on a weekend morning. We used to go grocery shopping together leaving the kids at home. All this was taken for granted and normal. 

We had immense help, even for childcare. But the most important thing we had was the vibes. 

There was a genuine feeling of love and warmth. There was a flow of conversation. Out of the blue we would start discussing politics or economics or people and relatives. We would play wordscapes which a word game or word search. Mummy would whip up delicacies just like that. Her uber simple cabbage curry or her decadent carrot halwa or the awesome jhal muri which is a dry and spicy version of bhel puri with hot ginger tea on rainy mornings without anyone asking for it - it was nothing but love. 

I made a trip to the supermarket yesterday and I had a blob in my throat when I saw a melon. Mummy and I would cut and much through an entire fruit in one afternoon with Pumpki joining in. As I went through the biscuits aisle I realised we wouldn't need rich tea biscuits for a long time. We don't eat them, but it was a regular when papa mummy were here. 

The house is cleaner now, since there is way less cooking and less people. The rooms are stark and empty. There is a coldness in everything. Everything reeks and smells of them. It is weird. We are going through the motions of living, but it feels weird. As if an important thread is missing. We are at a weird stage in life where our mental age is closer to our parents. So we understand them and I am sure they see themselves in us. It was a lovely stress free time that we had. We will take a while to recover and stop missing them. 

The planets had aligned

Papa simply wished to celebrate the birthday of his grand daughters. That was his plan for his trip to UK 2 years ago. He also harbored a secret desire to make a trip to the London Natural History Museum. He had plans to return in March 2020 after Chiyaa's birthday celebration in February. The day her birthday party was held, he said the words "What a great celebration! Now time for return " But! Man proposes God disposes eh? Come March and we know what hit the world :D All plans cancelled, including the tickets for London. Everything in the back burner and Papa and Mummy were slated to be here for a long run.

My sister teased them on the day the tickets were cancelled that, "Ah! you are going to stay for your birthdays too" Papa and Mummy have their birthdays in July. Sitting in April, July seemed a faraway time. Mummy was confident they would travel by the end of May when her tickets were scheduled. Well, everything was up in the air wasnt it. Including sweepstakes happening at work where people were betting on when we might return to work place.

April went and with it May. Things were a bit better in June but the lockdown was not going anywhere. Till the PM of Britain gave the news of "non-essential businesses" opening from the 4th of July. On Mummy's birthday! Yay! Not that we were going to do much! But still yay! This was the fourth time Mummy was with me for her birthday, since I got married. (My life after marriage is like a watershed moment for me ;) Its like Before Marriage and After Marriage :D ) She was in the UK one time to take care of Chiyaa since she was keeping very unwell. After that, I managed to be with her one other time, since I was in India for my second maternity leave following the birth of  Pumpki. Mummy again managed to be with me when she landed in Ipswich for her birthday, again to support us through the difficult time of K's job hunt. And this! This might be the last time she is around for her birthday, since we do not anticipate our parents coming in that frequently. The kids are growing up, making their own independent worlds. And our parents are aging too. I did not desire to go out and go shopping for a birthday gift for her. But how could I not gift her anything? So, we made something. I made the kids make drawings with acrylic paint on cups. It was very exciting especially for the little one to be engaged in this secret activity. We closed the door to a bedroom and got busy with our work. There was a moment where she had to step outside and had to get some stationery. Mummy happened to come across her and asked her what she was doing. That four year old little one lied through her teeth "We are exercising". Mummy asked where. She said "In mummy and daddy's room" When Mummy asked what exercise she was doing, she convincingly replied " Just normal exercise, press ups".

God that little one is dangerous! I clarified to Mummy that they were making cards in secret. The real special gift was a secret. Since Mummy is an avid walker, I decided to get some walking shoes for her. Now I am an absolute dud when it comes to making cakes. And the kids would not let me live if i did not order a cake on a birthday. But where would I get a cake from given the situation. I scoured the internet and came across some bakers. Some were not offering their services yet, some were super busy, some did not respond. God! I was reaching a road block. I found some online sites. But which one to trust. Finally I took a leap of faith and ordered from a place which guaranteed to send it by the date. Fingers crossed now.

Come her birthday, the kids were super excited. They did not want to wait at all. They ran into her room as soon they woke up and gave her the gifts. The joy on Mummy's face was beyond expression. We had plans for lunch from a takeaway. Once that was on the way, I got the cake. The cake was all right though a bit sweet. I decided to go for the same place for Papa and K's birthday which was 3 days away. 

Mummy was very glad at the end of the day since this was first time in ages that her birthday had been celebrated! The last time was a decade ago when her students from college had come in and surprised her. I felt very glad to be able to have her around me. 

I remembered that around the same time last year, I was hoping I could have my parents over for summer. Around the May-July time when it is really hot in India and quite pleasant here. But it needed some miracle of sorts to come true. There are no school holidays during that time and my parents would not like to be at home without the grandkids hovering around. They prefer even bearing the bone chilling winter, just because the children are around for Christmas holidays. So having them over for the English spring/summer was a far off dream. But you never know do you?! It was as if God just sat on my shoulder and heard my prayers. I will be eternally grateful to him for facilitating this for our family. Not only were my parents spared the Indian summer, they had the kids around too! Since March. It was a once in a lifetime event. The stars needed serious aligning for this to work. 

For this time and also for 7th July. The dual celebration of Papa and K's birthdays! I always bask in the fact that my two favourite men share the same birthday. I had them together for the first time ever. It was also the day when it was 10 years since I arrived in the UK. That morning I had bid a tearful bye to Papa after wishing him a very happy birthday. And in the evening I had landed in UK to wish him a happy birthday. Now in 2020, I was with both of them again, wishing them both a happy birthday. This seriously needed some supreme divine intervention. This was indeed again another once in a lifetime event. 

As the day wound to a close, the chapter of birthdays drawing to a finish, all I do was thank my lucky stars.