Gratitude

 Summer has officially started and all I can do is count my blessings.

* for the challenging work that keeps me busy

* for the stage I am in life where my kids are quite independent. I don't have to be the mom who is managing to be a developer. I am     finally a developer who is also a mom.

* for having a roof over my head and meals on the table while so many people are struggling with job searches, cost of living crisis and wars

* for having the love and affection of friends and family who genuinely care for me

* for having the time, the capability and the opportunity to exercise and indulge in hobbies

* for the ability to be able to engage in volunteering and charity and many of them with the kids

* for the health and wellness of the people I care about

Planned unplanned day

 I am a sucker for planning. Anything impromptu makes me uneasy. But then last Monday to finish off one of my annual leaves, I joined K and took a day off. It was to be a day where we would go with the flow and do things impromptu. I mostly envisioned it a day wasted. ;) If it came to it, I intended to do the ironing and deep clean the house - there should be something to show at the end of the day :) We had nebulous plans of going for a long walk, enjoying a peaceful coffee and other sweet things, which I was pretty sure we were never going to accomplish. All those things need PLANNING!!!

First thing first, we dropped the kids off at school. As we came to the car, we noticed that one of the tyres looked a bit flat. The first spanner in the works. First the car was off to the garage. That seemd to be the end of the day - so much for impromptu days! It took some time  for the technician to assess the car. It was given a thumbs up. So only an hour of the available time gone. We still had 5 remaining hours. The world was our oyster. 

The weekend we had been to my sister's place. Mummy had made the most delicious chick peas and soya chunks curry. She had intended to pack some for me but while exiting I missed getting it. She was super guilty for not having managed to send some over to me (Moms right *rolls eyes*) So, I proposed why don't we walk to my sister's place and get the curries and come home! We would have a long 10km walk (back and forth) and dinner would be sorted too. There is always food where Mummy is, so lunch would be sorted as well. K jumped on the plan and we started our trek to surprise Mummy, Papa and my sis. That was a plan that came out of nowhere. 

At her place we chatted for some time. K was in the mood for some Mexican, so we thought of checking some of the vendors that put up stalls near the area. Since my sister lives in the city centre, she has all the hustle bustle. We took a stroll and instead of the Mexican place we ended up being convinced by a Cypriotic food stall. We ordered gyros and marched to her house with the goodies. The food was just divine!! We were totally knocked over by the flavours and totally high fived ourselves on having chosen to go with the dishes we did. Amazing. On the spur decisions are not so bad after all ;) 

After lunch and a little rest, we started our walk back home. Then off to the task of picking the kids and the rest was routine. This was a rare occassion of taking one step at a time and going with the flow and it was worth it :) Sometimes I can do impromptu :D

A gift from God?

 Everyone faces the January blues. The end of the relaxed Christmas days are awful. And what stretches in front is a whole new year, with all plans up in the air, holidays still nebulous and the weather still not the one to warm the hearts. Luckily this year, since 1st January was on a Saturday, we got a day's leave on the following Monday. This made the first work week back, a 4 day one! Woo hoo! A single non-working day kinda made all the difference. 

The next week, there was all kinds of jokes in my team where we all made fun of finally having a much cherished 5 day working week back. That evening when I went to pick up Chiyaa, I could see from the class window that her face looked glum. I was a bit worried that she had a fight with someone or some incident that made her upset. As soon as she was out, she complained of a headache. We were sure its nothing and back home gave her the recommended dose of paracetamol. She felt much better, but that night had a raging fever. Which called in for a PCR test for Covid the next day and a day off school. She spent the day playing with  Lego, re-reading Harry Potter and watching some television. The next day her PCR test came back positive which meant she would need to isolate for a minimum of 5 days or a maximum of 10 days. If she got a negative home test for 2 successive days within day 5 and day 10 she could go back to school. Not ideal, given the fact that she loves school, but then there was no way out. Strangely, with one kid not going to school, the workload seemed lesser. There was one less uniform to take care of, one less bag and bottle to check, one less head of messy hair to comb on time and one less kid to pick up (which surprisingly saves time!) Also since she had to isolate, I didnt feel the extra pressure of taking her on walks and keeping her active. She could literally be at home. I ensured she had a bit more fruits at home and a daily dose of vitamin C in the form on 2 mandatory oranges. Luckily Chiyaa is quite self reliant as well, and manages herself with books and toys. So that she does not become totally lackadaisical, we put some educational sites up for her. She took to them quite well and completed all the required courses. It is quite cute to have a kid at home too. She roams around from room to room and I could go for occasional cuddles to her. She would come up with sudden Harry Potter trivia and bore us to death. It was awesome to snuggle with her at night, since we kept the kids separate while sleeping. Sleeping between both of them is spine crushing, but just one is swell :) 

 We started taking daily tests, but even on day 6 and 7 we were not getting the negative results. It was a very very faint line, but not  a sure shot negative. This was bringing us close to 20th which would be her day 9. 20th is K and my anniversary and we had planned the day off. We both are into running. K much more than me now! He will be running a ton of races this year. I do not believe in driving to a place, paying money and running a race to come 1021 in it. Like a few for fun is ok, but not on a regular basis. But for the first time ever we are having a local town run, being organised by the local run club of which K is a part. Since he is running all over the world, I told I would be keen to run 10 kms in that race. But I havent run that length in the recent past. So 20th was the day decided by us to run and check how I was faring. Now 20th happened to be day 9 for Chiyaa. We needed a negative result on day 8 and day 9 to send her to school. Day 7 the line on the test was super duper faint, in fact you would blink and miss it. We were confident that we would get a negative on next day. And we did!! Phew! On 20th morning, we got her ready on time. It was quite a change after the past 10 days when she was getting up whenever she wanted and spending some time reading in bed :) But being the enthusiastic school goer, she got ready and took her test. It  was a sure shot negative!! Yay!! The girls dropped at school off went the old couple on their run ;)

The run was fabulous. It was horribly cold, but it was amazingly sunny. What else do we need? Run done, we came home to some fabulous tea and rice kheer made by my sis. After a quick shower, we popped up to a local middle eastern restaurant. The owner happens to run with K in the run club. He also happened to be lunching then. And he happened to take an item off our bill! What a sweet though inadvertent anniversary gift! Once out, we spotted a plant shop nearby and of course I had to make K spend on a couple :)  We had absolutely no engagements for the evening. Which meant K could play video games and I could play Lego with the kids! A God gifted day indeed :) 

Run up to the holiday season

I somehow have not seen a lot of year ending posts this year. Last year, reading such posts only made me write my very own year ending post - with the ups and downs. This year, I have not been up to date in visiting my favorite blogs and many apologies for the same.

This year, the run up to the holiday season itself was fantastic with my sis reaching Chennai on 24th Dec and mommy following up on 25th Dec. It was supposed to be one week full of travel, with mom making a trip to Mysore and sis making a trip again on the 31st weekend. We somehow convinced our lazy dad to also come by the 31st weekend. All of us would be together on the morning of the New Year that way! But then, man proposes and God disposes. Sister got her posting to Bbsr sooner and she had to move down there on the 27th. Now she and dad will be coming down together this evening! Somehow the wish of all 4 of us being together got fulfilled by chubby God.

I will remember this year, for both professional and personal reasons.
Professionally I moved on, a lot. I was given challenges, I took up responsibilities apart from the mundane work and I essentially did stuff that I so enjoy doing. A bit less than 5 years back, when I was in the nadir of my professional life, I never thought, I would see days like this. Those were the times, when everyday I would pray to God to make it pass somehow. Every single thing about my life was so so wrong then. The main reason I was in agony was because of my work life. And inspite of whatever I did to get over it, the double I seemed to be pulled into the quagmire of despodency. But those 2.5 years of utter anguish did teach me a lot. Today, its a me, who simply loves going to work and tries to instill the same in the young and restless newbies. Maybe God showed me the darkest of the dark phase, so that I can empathise with any kind of person at work. Touchwood.

There were a lot of changes on the personal front especially in my parents house. I got to start the year with some quality time with them. Then my sister moved out to her professional life, which was a big milestone. To see her off, it was again the gang, parents, mil and K. We again had some real good time together. But the time that followed with her not being there with my parents was very tough. No one was able to reign in their emotions when it came to sis's absence from home. Life has somehow come full circle and shes back where shes truly missed. Then again my parents paid a visit for Dussera which turned out to be a week of fun and togetherness. I chanced to make a trip to Bbsr in Novemeber, where a weeks' trip turned into 3 thanks to typhoid :D. And now we 4 will end the year with a bang!

There was a particular professional gain I was looking for which went down to the dumps. I am not sure when it can be revived again. I also has some financial losses with both my cell phone and wallet getting stolen. But I will choose to ignore them and remember the trips I took up with K be it Mysore, Ooty, Hampi or Goa, the time I spent with family, the work I did and all the other good parts.

Here hoping everyone who stumbles by this post remembers 2009 as a good year but what use are the bad parts except giving heartaches. And heres hoping 2010 is 10 times better!! Have a utterly butterly happy NEW YEAR!!

Maika*!

*Parent's home for a married Indian woman


There is no place like maika for any Indian woman. It is better than candlelit dinner with the husband, gossiping with friends and even shopping for shoes! And thats the place I made a trip to on the 21st of November. It was an impromptu decision. There were lots of push and pulls. One push was my parents were getting immensely lonely with both the kids out of the nest. But one major pull was I had a go-live in December. I could not ask for leaves. One push were there were flights from Chennai to BBSR!! While the counter pull was K was not able to get leaves and I would again need to go alone. Finally I gave in to the pushes and booked the tickets :) I did not manage to get any leaves and had to keep working from home. The project was in a decent enough shape, so I was not so worried about it.

The flight which should take 2 hours uncannily made it in 1hour 40 mins :) So even before my parents had reached to pick me I was already there. Coincidentally I met a colleague of mine who was on his wedding vacation. He was supposed to have started the previous day but ticket problems stopped him and he ended up taking the last moment flight. Chit chatting with him in my mother tongue, feeling the tinge of chill in air as I stepped out and seeing the good ol' Konark Chakra motif at the entrance, I could not have felt more at home :)

To top my joy was the shiny new black dad's Swift Dzire! After getting home and dumping my stuff, I did what I do best - slept!

Next day was a trip to my granny's place. Meeting up with the whole bunch of cousins and aunts and uncles. I still get celebrity status there, being the eldest grandchild and the now being the only grandchild married and that too in a Tam family, I am till date questioned about my daily routine and stuff like that! None the less its fun. Food that followed was simply out of the world.

This time being at home was a bit different, with sissy not around. The house was a bit more silent. I also saw mom and dad having gotten involved into separate routines, one involving their own books, their own tv shows and their own household chores. How much change children bring to a house! Since it was a bit quiter, I was a bit more observant of things. I noticed K's first perfume bottle , a gift from UK still being there (though empty :) ), my best friend's long given gift - some 9 years old, posters and novels, as old as the hills - seriously only ones maika will have these treasures. There is a memory attached to every simple thing that one does. While sitting and talking to K on the balcony I was reminded of how we used to talk some 5 years ago. Things were so different then. While taking out the blankets for drying in the sun, I was reminded how sis would always insist on taking out the thicker blanket even if it was not that chill. While seeing some old clothes, I was reminded, I used to wear them for college some years back! Which in turn brings in a fresh flood of memories.

The most unexpected part was, I was to attend a wedding of a distant cousin. His father also happened to be my dad's colleague. So there were a lot of old colleagues of my dad invited. There, everyone was so amazed to see me! Many uncles had taught me in college! Some were neighbors when we stayed at Rourkela long time back. I had changed a lot since those days, and everyone was pleasantly surprised to see me. Even I felt top of the world meeting so many old faces...And attending a proper Odia reception is something! I was too used to the Tam style of the normal food being served in the traditional way. But here we had pani puri, chicken tikkas, fish fingers, and the entire array of veg, non veg and Chinese dishes! That too spread over a sprawling lawn with corny Hindi movie numbers like Bole choodiyan and Tujh main rab dikhta hai in the background. Hehe it was some fun.

I was enjoying to the hilt..... But then some things are too good to last :(

The thing about Diwali

There is something about Diwali (and Dussera too). It does something to the atmosphere around. The changes are so palpable. The weather takes a turn towards chillness. People are nostalgic about home, people take vacations no matter what ( my sisters colleagues have no leaves since they are in training period and they don't earn very high bucks either. But just for one day to be with family on Diwali, they have taken flights spending nearly half their monthly salaries and gone home! )It makes you want to be with your loved ones. It makes people scoot from office early. It makes you feel like cooking something special in spite of having slogged at office for good 9 hours. Everyone wishing the other person a happy Diwali just spreads the cheer magically. I am not sure if thats the case with everyone, but I feel so festively happy! As they say we should search for excuses to be happy - I do so oh so often.

Last year Diwali was my first one after marriage. The first Diwali after wedding is a very highlighted affair in TamilNadu. But I must confess, it started off on a very bad note for the lack of education. I had no idea, how differently it is celebrated in TamilNadu compared to back at my paternal place in Orissa. At my parents place, the whole day is spent in decorating the house and keeping things ready for the big bang in the evening. We spend the day fishing for diyas, counting the number of them still preserved from the past years, asking dad to scurry and get some more, deciding on which design to put the diyas and the rangoli in, helping mom in cooking the yummiliciuos breakfast, lunch and dinner. I always remember the night before Diwali we all deciding on the elaborate menus. We sisters were never of much help, but we used to keep talking around the kitchen and generally giving my mom company while she sweated over the dishes. Food and talks in the morning and evening would be spent on the veranda and terrace placing the diyas and then it would be cracker time! See...... this is what Diwali does.... makes you feel so nostalgic.

But last year, since I was not aware, how Diwali starts in TamilNadu before the break of dawn, there was a bit of upset emotions at home. And morning does show the day, so there was nothing to write home about for the entire day. There were forced smiles and uneasy reconciliations. But then, people learn. Last year I was a newbie, still adjusting to the symphony played here( I had read this analogy in some other blog and borrowed it :) ) This year, I was ready with my own composition apart from being ready to do my part for the original orchestra. I took my own time and space and got ready in the morning. We were invited for lunch to K's aunt's house. On the way back, I bought diyas (its not a tradition out here to light diyas on Diwali - they do so on another day called Karthik Deepam I guess ) . But then, a little extra celebration does not hurt at all. So all armed with the diyas and rangoli colors, I set forth in the evening to celebrate Diwali as I know it. Made some patterns on the balcony and the front door and places those lovely diyas. It is really heartening to see the diyas fight out the winds and stay aflame - it fills me with a very positive vibe. The words tamasoma jyotir gamaya (from darkness let us move to light) subconsciously keeps reverberating in my mind. The icing on the cake came when one neighbor aunty came and said "Perfect blend of north and south, only this apartment is lighted with all these small diyas and looks very cute from a distance." I had an ear to ear grin :D

Decorations done, I caught up with friends and family. What if we are not together, we should use technology to the max. For that matter since early morning K and I were making lots of calls. Evening I spoke with some very close friends and my mom and sister for hours on end. Dinner was parathas with curd and I made some extra coconut laddus to carry to office. (Diwali makes you put in that extra effort right?)An early end to the spirited day gave me the most rested feeling. Next year, I plan a bigger better evening. More sweets, more intricate designs, more savories, more time with my family.

It was a good Diwali, touchwood. And people I cared for had a good Diwali. I was concerned for a friend of mine who was all alone. But then, when I called and checked up with her, she had surprise company. My sister who was away from home for the first time, was also doing fine. The world does hold a mirror to ones own thoughts.

I hope all my readers had a wonderful Diwali. And here s wishing you all lots of good times ahead.

We went greeeeeeeen

No no no not with envy.

Friday, 5th of June was World Environment Day, which had the city plastered with images of save the earth, save water, save the sky and what not. And the next day, which had devil's numbers of 06/06 - K and I went an extra pedal to go green. While other couples may be hitting at the new Ford Icon or the Honda or the Nano (for them who want to start small), we went ahead an bought a Hercules Arrow.

For people getting this image in their mind and wondering what gibberish am I muttering - This is what we exactly brought home.

And it was such a wonderful little thing. K rode it the way back from the showroom and he was sweating! And he did feel glad about some of the tomato tummy melting away :) The next day I felt like a child again going round and round in the cycle within the apartment complex :D Felt silly no doubt at first but after a point the inhibitions were also gone.

We were long contemplating the prospect of getting one more vehicle - because sometimes when there were clashes of appointments among the 3 of us, we ended up either siphoning money to the auto rickshaw owners community or one of us ended up chucking the whole plan. And it was never for long distance, only one of us would actually be venturing on a longish journey while the other would be needing the vehicle for a short errand within the perimeter of 5 kms. Under such circumstances buying another vehicle was not so much of a solution, since we were sure the vehicle would just lie around and rot. We keep such busy schedules, we hardly get time to go around a lot. And whenever its long distance its a taxi. So buying a vehicle for running errands was not sound economics at all. But then lately, especially mil's temple trips and my gym routines were clashing a lot.

K had be hinting at buying a bicycle for exercise purpose for a long time - but he wanted that old fashioned, tall, black and ugly looking bicycle made eternal by the Daakiya daak laya song. I somehow convinced him to getting a unisex model in a neutral grey color and one which was a decent compromise to our jarring height difference :)

It was some buy! :) We were thrilled to own it. K and I have vowed to take it for all the short trips around. No more scooty when either of us is going anywhere within 5 kms at least.

Today morning I felt especially proud. I always believe myself to be an environmentally concious person. As far as possible I try to avoid plastic bags, don't litter around, try to educate others and so on. But today, when I took the cycle, I felt really good. Afterall if each drop can make an ocean, each person's small act can change the world. Can't it?

2 Weddings and Cherrie :)

Some time back I wrote a post on one of my friends doing a groom hunting. Shes finally landed up with her match. Well I cant say he satisfies all the business and functional requirements. But my friend chose him. Despite a lot of questions she boiled down on him. Even when she had to go to meet him, she was very pissed off, as she had a lot of qualms about his career streak. Since he had attempted getting into business after completing his graduation which in due course did not work out fine, his actual work experience add up to be less than hers. This made her a bit jittery initially.

But then, marriages are made in heaven as it is said(and the price is borne on earth ;) )So with a lot of questions in heart she went ahead with the alliance. After the match was fixed, the usual rigmarole of late night phone calls, thinking of gifts for each other etc etc started. But at times my friend used to pop up the most unusual questions to me - "Have I done the correct thing?" "Every one asks me I should feel something different and special, but I don't. Is that OK?" "I think I wanted some one smarter - many a times he does not understand my jokes/satire/comments." To all this, I reply "Hang on dear you will be happy with him".

After a point I started getting amused with her questions. Sometimes she would be like, he talks a lot yaar, I hope I don't get bored with him (What a quintessential Indian girl I would say, who has thoughts of getting bored with her husband. :| ) I feel like an old granny even though I have been married for 4 months only. And I think Bachchu shaadi kar le, fir baat karte hain :D

Somethings are not answered before one actually starts living that life. But it is hilarious to hear all the questions from her. I am not sure if I too pestered her with a question bank :)

At the same time, another very close friend of mine is also getting married. And she is a different specimen altogether. She too had a lot of apprehensions from the word go. Initially she used to take the whole alliance as a compromise only. But slowly when she started to get to know the person, a lot of her perception changed for the better.Her fiance too talks a lot(I think its a myth that girls are more loquacious), and sometimes she tells me"Radio ki tarah bajta rehta hai band hi nehi hota" Now this is a slap on the face of the creative directors of the Airtel ads where Ms Vidya Na-real Balan huskily reprimands Maddy for having called her 8 times. Here this my friend, has laid a curfew on the number of smses he can send and the duration for which they should talk. Earlier they used to talk from 1700 hours till 2100 hours and send smses till late at night. But then she realised, they never had anything concrete to talk, but would just while away their time. And sometimes just hanging on to each other for the heck of it, used to lead to frequent fights which she wanted to avoid.

My friends are shattering all ideas of lovey dovey couples snuggling with the cell phones till the wee hours of the morning. Even I never used to talk for long hours because K was a stickler to the rule of getting at least 8 hours of sleep. At that time I thought I was an aberration. But I think I have a lot of like minded people around me :)

I wish I could clairvoyance to know what your futures look like. But I am sure you both will make the best of the lives that you have chosen. You will over come the fears and uncertainties and forge relationships of a lifetime with your partners. And while you enjoy your courtship period, I have to figure out what to gift you both on your D days :(