Yours thankfully :)

 I turned a year older. Not that it matters. But the day is made so special by people who love me that I can only thank God.

It started with Chiyaa taking the responsibility to bake a cake. As I have said, we love the channel Bake with Shivesh and his Devil's food Cake. She took the full ownership to check the recipe and mix the ingredients while taking minor guidance from me. It was amazing to see her so committed to the effort. Pumpki was not so keen on it initially. But then enthusiasm like all emotions is contagious. She too joined in and the end result was an amazing, luscious cake! On my birthday, breakfast was cake! What can be more awesome than that for a child 

K and I had the day off. We have realised that the city centre is a 5.5 km walk from our home. For his birthday we had walked the distance and rewarded ourselves with a Japanese buffet. We decided to do a repeat this year. It was a bit hard to walk in the 0 degrees temperature, loaded with heavy jacket and scarves and hats and what not. But we still managed it.  The buffet was super satisfying and I must say I am so so in love with Japanese food!

Food done, we did some window shopping and took in the sights of the Christmas decorations. There were a lot of tempting options, but then we moved on with promises to come back and shop at leisure some other day. Because school pick ups beckoned. 

We had plans to go for an ice skating session at a nearby mall. We went all geared up. And my God! were we awful at it. The kids fell and I had to control my laughter and pick them up, all the while making sure that I did not fall! There were some tears of frustration from the kids for sure, but I will applaud them for taking it on their chin and trying their best. They even managed to stand and take a few steps without help. For the first attempt I would say it was amazing! I on the contrary was determined not to FALL on my birthday. So I clung on to the side railings as if my dear life depended on it. I kept going sssssslide quite some time and on the verge of falling on my backside, but then my arm strength worked. And I was able to cling to the side walls without a fall. After a bitter sweet experience, we have decided to go for skating lessons nearby :) 

End of session, we re-fuelled ourselves and then called it a day. A day of sweet nothings. A day full of love from family and a lovely set of friends who keep me in their thoughts. I could not be more thankful. 

The proverbial day?

Ps. A personal and maybe boring post ahead.. more like rants of a momentarily peaceful mind.

I still remember blue day vividly - the day when the little birdie started day care. It was horrendous. Our optimism was down in the dungeons. She was miserable and so were we. 

That is when I spoke to lots and lots of parents. I got the same answer - they get over it - in a week, a month, a couple of months, six months! But there will be one day when one can laugh about it. Huh! Not me for sure. I thought I was special case. Such things don't happen to me. They are too good to be true.

It was on 25th November 2013, that she started day care. The day care was very well recommended. It was clean, the staff seemed dedicated and we did not have much qualms in leaving our child in their care. But, Chiyaa was crestfallen, she cried her heart out. I tried to give them some pointers to help her settle. I sent one of her favourite toys,  a teddy bear with her. 

It was a matter of 2 weeks before we were to make our trip to Paris. We thought we would somehow steel ourselves to get through the 2 weeks. But she took a turn for the worse at the  end of week 1. She fell ill with very high fever. With an imminent travel, we decided to keep her at home and let her recuperate.  So on 17th December, it was a start from scratch. She was very upset. She would cry when I dropped her and would be crying when I picked her. She would have refused most of her food. Sleep would be barely for 30 minutes. She used to be famished when we got home and would gobble down food. I would fell torn apart seeing her in that state. And she would jump into her bed and sleep off like no tomorrow. I so wished I could always keep her cocooned. 

The trend just continued over the week. I kept counting days. 

I got feedback that she used to be better after her nap. But she would get upset when she saw adults around - when parents came to drop their wards or members of the staff passed through the room. She would expect her mom or dad and come running to the door. I was assured that she would get better. It was going to be a month (though she had not been regularly) and I was seeing no end in sight. 

Her grandparents were way worried too.  Being back in India and incapable of any action, they felt even more frustrated. The only thing they could do was pray and hope for things to turn around. That was one of the things we did too... since we had no other recourse either.

Soon the nursery would close for a week for Christmas vacation. While one half of me was happy to have her around, another half was dead scared at scarring her when she rejoined in January.

In the new year, she was a bit under the weather. I sent her to the nursery when I thought she could cope. She did not eat much, she did not sleep much, she did not play much. A week of January had gone through.We were sure our kid was going to be one of those who take half a year to get acclimatized.

What cant be cured must be endured. So we treaded on  - passing through the harrowing farewells in the morning, getting not so positive feedbacks during the day and seeing the kid being zapped of her strength in the evening.

In the middle of the second week of January, we received this note.

'A little more settled' was definitely a very good thing! One small step for the lil one, one giant leap of faith for mom and dad. We kept our fingers crossed.

The next day, she had been 'lot better'.That was positively an improvement. The food was still erratic and sleep was surely not there - but did we complain? Of course not! She was atleast having a 'better time'! 

That was when one of the carers recommended getting her blankets from home for sleeping. She thought that maybe Chiyaa wanted that reassurance of something familiar. Sometimes that helped. I had never given much importance to the blankets she used at home. She slept just as well outside or in hotels when we traveled, I assumed, she was just fine without them. But we think we know all about our kids don't we? 

Since it was suggested,I brought over her blankets the next day. Like magic, the sleeping time climbed from 15-30 minutes to 45!

As she slept better, she played better, and as she played better she ate better. Hmmm...what a lovely little circle *Touchwood*

The morning started getting better too - she would wave me goodbye somedays. She would be sad when she saw me leave, she would be better consoled by some particular members of staff - but she was being herself. She was being her boisterous, naughty and lively self. Were we feeling alive or what? 

Come February, the staff also started to know her - her likes and dislikes, her moods, her characteristics. Earlier only some particular and experienced members would handle her. Slowly everyone got comfortable with her and she with every one else. She did not ask for a particular person though she did get close to her key person Abby! But I would see her giggling with everyone else. There would be times when while bringing her back, she would run away to play with the elder kids outside.

I was still working part time. I had thought of going full time in January.But since she was not settling, I had given that idea a miss. I decided, I would carry on part time as long as I could. At least I had the consolation of taking 'good' care of her after my working hours. But then came the days when she would not run up to me when she saw me. She would see me, her eyes would twinkle, she would start coming to me, but then get distracted by something. Perhaps it  was time for me to also start letting go, for my little girl had started :) 

As she started settling, her carer started introducing her to new things. They rejuvenated her potty training. It was not instant success, but then there was scope to try.

She started enjoying playing outside a lot more. She started engaging with other kids. Somedays I would see her sitting in the middle of a circle and enjoying a snack.Then on others she would be seated with one of the carers and be painting. Yet some day, she would be playing on her own.I loved seeing this reviving independence in her!

She started getting more and more involved in group activities. I saw her difference outside nursery as well.She used to get very anxious with strangers.She would cry and throw a fit.While for others she would be very docile.I could not fathom why she behaved in a certain manner with certain people. I know - kids tend to behave like that. But as she got more used to the day care, she started getting more comfortable with strangers as well. One of K's colleagues even commented that there was a distinct change in her and attributed it to day care.

Slowly as she neared her second birthday, she started being taken upstairs to the older kids (2-3 years). It had been noted that Chiyaa did not seem intimidated by bigger kids, so the staff were very confident that she would settle down soon in the new room.And they were right in their expectation :) She loved being upstairs with the bigger kids and quite enjoyed her time!

Her birthday was celebrated with a lot of fan fare. I had taken some snacks and cake for the staff and they appreciated it a lot. They had sung happy birthday like a zillion times. Chiyaa was quite amused and puzzled at the same time :) 

A day later - it was her last day in her room. Her key person Abby wrote a really cute note that it had been fun to work with her. I know it must have been quite harrowing for her. She being a young girl herself, it must have been very challenging to take care of an adamant kid who cried for mommy all day long. But Abby persevered, and my kid accepted the perseverance. Abby had been with her to the room with the elder kids, and they had had lot of fun.They were confident it was time that she went on and participated in activities more attuned to bigger kids like rhymes, numbers and some other curricular skills. 

It felt like my child had graduated! 

An end and a day of beginnings

All good things come to an end and so did the holiday season. It was something dreams are made up of. I was with my parents and sister and we never did anything out of the world. The only thing we actually did was spend time with each other doing the simple day to day things.

I got my mom one day to office, and that being the very day, the car broke down cos of the battery giving up. Thank God mom was with me, else I would have really freaked out. That day it really struck me how less is the penetration of English in Chennai. Somehow I have never been bothered by Tamil being the lingua franca in Chennai. But when things were really bad that day, we were just not able to communicate to folks in the company Tata motors and Exide what was wrong. It was really exasperating. In any state I have been in, the folks speak at least one other language apart from the primary language. But that is just not the way things work here. My apologies if I hurt the feelings of any Tamil speaking reader, but seriously that was one day I wished for petty politics, Hindi was not ostracised as it is in TamilNadu.

Hmm anyways enough of the drab stuff. The next day mom was home alone and poor thing, she spent the day watching 2 sad movies - Traffic Signal and Pinjar :) She heaved a sigh of relief once I was back. The following day I decided to work from home to be with her. While I was busy with work, there she was like my mom of olden times. In my childhood, my mom always made it a point to be near me when I was studying for important exams. She would eat with me, sleep near me, do whatever she had to do sitting near me. There were barely moments when she left me - being that strong solid pillar of support. That was the way I felt she was that day. Once work was done, we took a long stroll on the beach.

Dad and sister came to town on the 31st evening a ruckus broke in the house. We were our boisterous self, cracking jokes and I soaked in the pleasure of speaking in my mother tongue. Mil was on a week long pilgrimage, which made my dad feel even more comfortable and be at his louder best :D Shopping at T Nagar, going to temples, cooking a variety of dishes and road side shopping at Adyar and Besant Nagar, we did it all. But what I enjoyed the most was the long walks we took when we went shopping in and around Besant Nagar. We would venture out for sometime but when we got back, the clock would show 4 hours having passed! And we would realise we had walked and shopped the entire duration! I was so cocooned by my family, that I did not mind K partying the whole night of New Year Eve with his colleagues. I even did not mind him being down with a hangover of the New Year. I had 3 people making up for the love and attention he would shower ;) *evil*

But then came the morning of 3rd January when I had to see them off. It did not feel as painful as it would have been if it would have been just my parents. Since sis was along with them, I was more peaceful. My parents were well covered for. And so was my sister. I missed them immensely when I got home, but then, this is life.

The next day, was the first day of the new year at work! K had a new schedule to stick to which was much earlier than his prior timings. :( And I had picked up walking. The doc had advised me against gymming following the typhoid attack. So I took to walking, reminiscing the lovely walks I used to take with a dear friend when I was in Calcutta and the refreshing ones I used to take with roomie dear in Hyderabad. But now I just got the ipod for company and the vast expanse of the sea. I also started taking the car independently to work - a thrill! and the first time was a fright!! A dream has come true after 22 months! :D

Heres hoping things remain sunny. And hoping all my readers had a wonderful start to the new year. :)

The thing about Diwali

There is something about Diwali (and Dussera too). It does something to the atmosphere around. The changes are so palpable. The weather takes a turn towards chillness. People are nostalgic about home, people take vacations no matter what ( my sisters colleagues have no leaves since they are in training period and they don't earn very high bucks either. But just for one day to be with family on Diwali, they have taken flights spending nearly half their monthly salaries and gone home! )It makes you want to be with your loved ones. It makes people scoot from office early. It makes you feel like cooking something special in spite of having slogged at office for good 9 hours. Everyone wishing the other person a happy Diwali just spreads the cheer magically. I am not sure if thats the case with everyone, but I feel so festively happy! As they say we should search for excuses to be happy - I do so oh so often.

Last year Diwali was my first one after marriage. The first Diwali after wedding is a very highlighted affair in TamilNadu. But I must confess, it started off on a very bad note for the lack of education. I had no idea, how differently it is celebrated in TamilNadu compared to back at my paternal place in Orissa. At my parents place, the whole day is spent in decorating the house and keeping things ready for the big bang in the evening. We spend the day fishing for diyas, counting the number of them still preserved from the past years, asking dad to scurry and get some more, deciding on which design to put the diyas and the rangoli in, helping mom in cooking the yummiliciuos breakfast, lunch and dinner. I always remember the night before Diwali we all deciding on the elaborate menus. We sisters were never of much help, but we used to keep talking around the kitchen and generally giving my mom company while she sweated over the dishes. Food and talks in the morning and evening would be spent on the veranda and terrace placing the diyas and then it would be cracker time! See...... this is what Diwali does.... makes you feel so nostalgic.

But last year, since I was not aware, how Diwali starts in TamilNadu before the break of dawn, there was a bit of upset emotions at home. And morning does show the day, so there was nothing to write home about for the entire day. There were forced smiles and uneasy reconciliations. But then, people learn. Last year I was a newbie, still adjusting to the symphony played here( I had read this analogy in some other blog and borrowed it :) ) This year, I was ready with my own composition apart from being ready to do my part for the original orchestra. I took my own time and space and got ready in the morning. We were invited for lunch to K's aunt's house. On the way back, I bought diyas (its not a tradition out here to light diyas on Diwali - they do so on another day called Karthik Deepam I guess ) . But then, a little extra celebration does not hurt at all. So all armed with the diyas and rangoli colors, I set forth in the evening to celebrate Diwali as I know it. Made some patterns on the balcony and the front door and places those lovely diyas. It is really heartening to see the diyas fight out the winds and stay aflame - it fills me with a very positive vibe. The words tamasoma jyotir gamaya (from darkness let us move to light) subconsciously keeps reverberating in my mind. The icing on the cake came when one neighbor aunty came and said "Perfect blend of north and south, only this apartment is lighted with all these small diyas and looks very cute from a distance." I had an ear to ear grin :D

Decorations done, I caught up with friends and family. What if we are not together, we should use technology to the max. For that matter since early morning K and I were making lots of calls. Evening I spoke with some very close friends and my mom and sister for hours on end. Dinner was parathas with curd and I made some extra coconut laddus to carry to office. (Diwali makes you put in that extra effort right?)An early end to the spirited day gave me the most rested feeling. Next year, I plan a bigger better evening. More sweets, more intricate designs, more savories, more time with my family.

It was a good Diwali, touchwood. And people I cared for had a good Diwali. I was concerned for a friend of mine who was all alone. But then, when I called and checked up with her, she had surprise company. My sister who was away from home for the first time, was also doing fine. The world does hold a mirror to ones own thoughts.

I hope all my readers had a wonderful Diwali. And here s wishing you all lots of good times ahead.