Monday, September 24, 2007

Tagged

Hmm I owed this to Raaji..
So there you go..
My middle name is way too long 10 alphabets :-(
So I am gonna go with my nickname Cherrie :)

"C" - Cold/choice
I am very susceptible to the first.
And I don t like making the second.
:)
A little waft of cold breeze from the nook in the window, a little drop in the temperate, the fan staying on a little longer than the usual time at night - And thats it. I am all sneezing and huffing panting in the morning.
As I am prone to acute sinusitis, pain reliving balms are my best friends. My handbag always has one and loadssssss of tissue papers.
I never go to bed with out a handkerchief and a bottle of de-congesant beside me. Such is my plight.

And I have always hated making choices.
Since I was a kid it seems, I am the indecisive one. "People like us should not be given choices" - Is what my close friend and I declare. But alas!! Life throws ample choices at us :( I envy those people who had to go on a straight path through out their life, there were never many choices to make, life just thrust things on their face... I know they must be cursing their existence... But I would love to swap places with them. ( Ya ya.. I hear quite a few saying.. The grass on the other side......... )

"H" - Hope
I am always filled with it. No matter what the situation I trust the God above. I refer to Him as My chubby God :) And I believe, He can never mean harm. So why loose hope. We ordinary mortals are not able to see the bigger picture which he is etching.

"E" - Exercise
I am a freak when it comes to exercise. My family is full of exercise freaks I feel. Dad never misses his walks. Mom and sis are avid Yoga practitioners. And I have been into everything from walks to Yoga to aerobics to swimming.
And if I don t do any sort of exercise for a week, I start imagining love handles and tires :(
And this is the state I have been for the past 2 weeks. Since the weather has become a bit chill, I have been too lazy to move in the mornings. :( Have been scolding myself but not getting motivated enough :(

"R" - Reading
I love it. Cant say more than this :)

"R" - Romantic
That I am of course not. :)
Again I will quote my best friend who says " We are too practical to be romantic" I don t know how many people would agree with this. But it sounds a jazzy catch line- so we stick with it.
My idea of romance is getting duplicate keys done from the store across the street, buying vegetables together and quarreling over the quantity, and very very common place things. I am not into the hearts and flowers stuff at all...I infact get irritated by any thing remotely mushy.

"I" - Impatient
Impatience should have been my middle name :D
But it does not sound so nice so I gave it a miss.
I am as impatient as my dad.
I am impatient when it comes to any thing and everything, starting from waiting for the train/flight, queuing up in the bank or post office, people walking slowly on the streets, stubborn vegetables not getting cooked sooner,water coming slowly out of the tap, the list can go on and on and on.
I wish patience was a virtue I had. And my mom being the epitome of patience, I so so wish I had an iota of her patience.
But now I think now I am too old to change :)

"E" - English
My adopted mother tongue :)

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Waiting for.. ?


I don’t know what I am waiting for. I feel as if I am anticipating something. As if something important is going to happen and I am all agog for it. Each day I am inching towards it. But what is it?

I have lots of important events lined up till early 2008. Have a lot of personal and professional commitments to be met. And each day is bringing me closer to them. As each day passes I kind of put a mental tick against that day. Ok. Done. Now next.

But then when I look back on the day that just went by, I feel, oh! No! Did I use it to the fullest? I love these words of Rudyard Kipling from the poem If

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run

That’s what I feel at the end of each day.

Did I utilize it well?

Did I fill each unforgiving minute with worth?

Or was I a wastrel when it came to the 24 hours that just went by?

When I am pushing myself to do all the things that have to be done and that I want to do.. I say to myself… Hey slow down… Take it easy…

And if I let the pace slacken a bit… I reprimand myself… Oh Come on you are going to repent this. Get up and get going.

Argh! I am in such a fix :-(

And today I spoke to my room mate.

I could not take this tug of war any more.

So I just blurted out,”Such weird days aint these... I kind of feel restless”

And she was like, “Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa very true... Even I feel like that. When the week starts I wait for the weekend.. And once the weekend comes I am like... Oh God when is this going to end. I don’t feel like doing anything at work. Life is just going on yaar. Even I don’t know what is going on. May be it’s the weather.”

Then I though yes!! Eureka. May be it’s the weather after all. We have not seen the sun since ages. It has either been raining or it’s been cloudy and chill. It’s all soggy and soppy all over. And that irritates me and my roomie dear big time. May be we are a bit under the weather (mentally though ;))

I am not sure.

But I just wish I get rid of this restless feeling.

I wish I stop putting those mental tick marks against days like a prisoner.

I wish I stop looking at the calendar once in a while and count days, weeks, months….

I wish I knew what am I waiting for.. :-(

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Feeling Blank

Some times I am very incoherent. I hate being in the state when I am blank. I am without an opinion, without a thought, without a vision – a state when I feel everything zipping past me and I like a mute spectator just watch on. My mind on one hand urges me to move, to get up, and to do some thing, anything but lie in a limbo. At any given point of time are not there lots of things to be completed, lots of tasks pending, lots and lots of ‘to do s’? But on the other hand I feel like just being as I am. I feel like wasting my muscles, subduing my thoughts. I feel any ways I won’t be able to effect much change in a few hours or in a day. There will still remain lots more things to be completed, some more pending tasks and there will never be tick marks against all the ‘to do s’. So why make the effort?

Just let time take hold. Let the day move on. Let tomorrow come. Tomorrow will be a new day. Tomorrow will throw new challenges on your face. Tomorrow will ask you to take up a new gauntlet. Tomorrow will force you to come out of the state of inertia. Tomorrow you won’t be in this insipid state of inaction.

But when tomorrow comes I feel ‘ARGH! I wasted yesterday :-( ‘


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