The question I am constantly asked after marriage is - Has life changed after marriage? And how?
This weekend K had come over to my city.
And I could not help thinking of the past instances when we had made trips to visit each other.
The first had been made by K in 2006 after 1 year of our consenting to the relationship. We had nt seen each other for a pretty long time and were very eager for the first tryst with "being together". I had planned his entire 4 day stay at Kolkatta, out of which 2 days my parents were to be in town to meet us.
The flight which K had to take from Chennai to Kolkatta turned out to be a good 2 hours late. And the whole time I was at my impatient and anxious best at the airport. When he finally landed, there was a weird awkwardness in both of us. I could see him from the reception lounge, taking hurried steps with a huge suitcase in tow. When he came up to me, we were initially feeling a bit weird to even hold hands. We walked to the parking lot with the suitcase between us. In side the taxi, we had Manhar Udhas crooning to "Hum tumhe chahte hain aise.. " It seemed such a situational song for both of us, meeting after so many days - then K finally held my hand and said - I missed you.
Those days, we had such an urgency to be with each other. Mornings our first thoughts would be to see each other. All the time we were together, we some how had this chain running at the back of our minds, that the days should pass as slowly as possible. At saying goodbyes at night was the toughest thing to do. We missed each other and wondered God knows after how many more days and months we would be with each other again - for good.
Cut to 2008 -
The first and the most important change is - the eradication of uncertainty. We now dont think, when might we meet each other, we dont have to break our heads to search for a hotel which will be comfortable as well as close. We dont have to feel conscious if we are sitting in the same room. I can up to just any place with K without feeling the slightest hesitation.
We don’t have to convince our parents to go and meet each other. :-) We literally have to just inform them. Before marriage we needed to be ready with the whole barrage of logic and reasoning as to why we wanted to go over and meet each other. We had to give the details of the costs involved, the accommodation and all and sundry. But now, our parents are ok with either of us eking out 5k odd for just a weekend together.
Well seems like a hell of a lot of positive changes. But there exists the flip side also. On one hand it feels good to be with the person you love for all of the 24 hours of a day and on the other, its irritating to have K sleep on till late morning while I have to get on with setting the house right. Small small idiosyncrasies in the other person irk us. I hate to see him throw the wet towel on the bed and his prescribed medications to me. (He is yet to accept the fact that I live with near perennial cold and sinus. Every morning he pesters me either to pop a Cetrizine or Crocin Cold and Flu or some other medicine. ) He is equally irritated by my cleansing toning moisturizing routine and cant understand why I have to apply sun screen. And as per him I take way too long in to take bath!
In the state of irritation, often we have a war of words. But then all it takes is a quick sorry, a little hug and a big smile to close the matter. Seriously many fights are much easier to handle face to face rather than over the phone :-)
Hmm.. Some things have changed and things will change further on also. This blog gonna keep track of them all :-)