Friday, May 8, 2009

We have moved on and How!

Some days back I saw the wedding pics of a college mate of mine. I was kind of close to her at one point of time, but over the years our alignments and affiliations changed, and we formed our own distinctive circle of friends. Thanks to orkut, we kept getting updates on whats happening in the other person's life. When I saw her wedding pics 2 days back, I felt 2 things - first nostalgic - yea this was the way I had wedded some 15 months back and secondly - I thought how much we have moved on.

Most of my friends are married. Some nearly for half decades now, some in the seven year itch state :). Some are mothers! And most on the lookout for alliances or waiting for their turn to tie the knot. Some of my friends had improbable demands - and I saw them acquiesce real timidly to the charms of the guy and the whims of destiny. Some had long time sweethearts turned into soul mates. Some had difficult conditions and heavy baggage to carry but ended up getting the perfect person to share the burden. Some are still on the hunt for the perfect one - and I hope they get the partner of their dreams..

Today as I look my one year old neice and hear her mom say, I have to start saving for her wedding - I feel thats how maybe my mom would have said for me. And see now I am married, my parents are done with probably one of the greatest responsibilities. They still are waiting to do a lot more for me, but I am sure, getting a child marriage was something they will always feel proud of. When I see wedding pics of my friends, the thing that wows me most, is the expressions on the parents. I think its unfathomable the physical strain they would have underwent while arranging all the stuff and the less said of the mental anxiety the better. So on the wedding day, the eyes filled with love and concern for their wards yet a strange satisfaction is what makes me feel - we are blessed. We are blessed to have such parents.

And life does go on post wedding. Many things change, many for the better, some remain the same and some we struggle to keep the same. But the flux is really interesting. I was talking to my dear friend A yesterday who has lately gotten into full blown domesticity. And I was asking her hows life treating her now and all. Topics veered and we were reminiscent, how dark a picture we had of marriage. So unsure, so frightening. What if we ended up with the wrongest man on earth!! How might we go on? Touchwood - till now nothing that untoward has happened. (Hope our spouses have the same to say ;) ) During our student life, we saw married folks, but that was just passe. Today we are leading those lives and sometimes I think - hows married life for a particular person, how do so and so spend their time together, how do they manage to run the house. Nothing voyeuristic. But just like when we look at a house from outside and think about the people inside or hear about a profession and are curious as to what people actually do sitting in those place, similarly, I feel how others lives are. ( I am not sure how many people "look at a house from outside and think about the people inside" - but I do :S )

And then I feel how much I myself have transitioned. Today my answer to "hows married life?" would be different from what I would have answered in Feb 2008. And it will be so different in Feb 2010.


Jack said...


Life is like a flowing river. It keeps changing all through. Marriage is a big gamble and one is lucky if it works out to one's liking. May God keep you both happy always. Parents do feel happy to fulfil the responsibility of marrying off their offspring, be a girl or boy and then look for fun filled time with next generation.

Thanks for your visit. I have replied.

Take care

Sougata said...

Marriage seems so interesting :)

Sam said...

Interesting thoughts put up :) first timer here. Marriage change persons and they evolve for good most part of it. the friends change, their outlook towrds life change and the good part is it changes automatically and with the situations. reacting positively to the situatios.



Satish (a.k.a) Bhaashaa said...

I think its for everyone and for every relationship. Our priorities differ and hence we tend to lose those emotional strands a bit :) Its happens even when we move from school to college to office ... we keep certain ppl at bay who would be our best buddies sometime back :)

Abhishek Khanna said...

i went to a friend's marriage.. being one of my closest friends.. i ws sitting there whole night.. n the look on the bride's mother ws sooooo tense n anxious till the time punditjee declared them man n wife.. n then suddenly her mom became sooooo relaxed n exhausted kinda.. seemed like she has achieved the toughest task in life!!

♥ÐÅyÐяєÅмє®♥ said...

marriage is a bliss.. ok mostly a bliss...and I am happy that u r happy with it.. not many find it the way I feel about it...

Ashwadhy said...

Nice reading it. Brought back memories.... Catching up with friends is fun, just knowing how we have changed and looking back at how we were. Oh, we have had some huge laughs. ;)

Abishek, I can still remember the look on my mom's face on all the day preceding the marriage, on the marriage day and for a week after that until the 1st review of my in law situation came.. he he ;)

Amrita said...

@Jack - You said it.. marriage is the biggest gamble.. And it matters a lot to parents whether they are getting a son or a daughter married.
@Sougata - Of course marriage is interesting
@Sam - Welcome here.. I checked out your pages too.. Interesting thoughts there.
@Satish - Yea.. we cant carry all the ppl we meet along with us
@Abhi - Yea I can understand what the mother would be feeling. I never thought from that angle, till I saw the wedding pics and the expressions on my moms face
@DD - Marriage is nt bliss just like that, one has to work hard at making it bliss. I know, there are people who dont have good things to say about marriage, many whom I know closely in fact :(
@Ashwadhy - Welcome here :)

Renu said...

Interseting post:),marriage is one thing where one has to work constantly to keep it in shape and healthy:)

Shalom said...

Yup, I have experienced this. Big change in how I viewed marriage as a college student, how I viewed it when my folks were actually on the lookout for a partner for me & in how I view it now, one year & a few months into married life. One long process of emotional maturing :)

Dr Roshan R said...

I agree with Renu... in the end, you have to work constantly in a marriage.. but if you do, the results are well worth it :)

first time here, nice blog.

Ashma said...

I can relate to the post dearie.. marriage does change a person and his/her priorities. Even I sometimes wonder at the change that has subtly taken place in my outlook. Anyways as long as the change is positive(and it generally is..) and does not hurt anyone, we should go ahead and embrace it. At most times, going with the flow is the best option. :)

And yes I remember the very negative projections that we had about our married life.. thank god it was just projection and reality is just the opposite.. Touchwood!!

PS: Hey when I see a house I also get curious about the ppl living in.. as in who are they, how many, howz their daily routine and all.. :)

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