Indecisive me, guilty conscience and an innocent tag
The Ganesh Chaturthi weekend that went by was full of dilemmas for me. I do not mind the earth shattering, tsunami causing ones, cos I feel I am well empowered to handle them. The ones I dread are, what should I wear, should I eat another sweet or not, should I go to gym today or succumb to laziness and doze some more and so on.
There was nothing planned for the weekend, so K as per his latest fancy that I should sport shorter hair, was persistent we make a trip to a salon far far away where I would get the hair cut to die for. I like change, but then I dread if some changes will make me become a recluse unable the face the mirror and people. What if I end up having a mop like hair cut or any other the other nightmarish cuts that so many actresses sport with elan. For Sunday there was a whole bunch of things packed - puja in the morning, temple visit in the afternoon and a wedding reception in the evening. So with my puppy eyes I went to master K and said, tomorrow was going to be too tiring, could we just laze around the house for a day? Reluctantly I got his nod and then slept off for good 3 hours in the afternoon.
But when I woke, I was guilt ridden - at having wasted precious time. Rather than being re freshed and rejuvinated, I was feeling strangely drained. I wished, I had ventured out and gotten some fresh air:( But then it was too late. And I had to amuse myself with back to back movies on tv. I hoped the coming day would be better as I hit the bed.
Sunday also started on a gloomy note. I rose and shone at 0600 for the puja preparation, but then things got going faster than I anticipated. Most chores were over by 0900 thanks to the propelling force of my mil. And then there was nothing to do but wait for K to finish some sacred thread changing thingy he was on with. By mid day, a cover of sleep started to envelope me. We had planned to go to the replica of the Jagannath temple on ECR with some colleagues of mine. But with the laziness that was surging over, I chucked the plan. K tried to convince to make it, but then I chose to be lazy yet again. As an action replay of the previous day, yet again, I felt guilty of not sticking to the plan, not venturing out, not summoning that extra bit of will and making it. The ride to the temple would have been so much fun - wish I had made it. Argh - I so wish I was a more decisive person and if I was not created decisive, wish God had left me without this penchant for feeling guilty so easily.
Here are the rules :-
You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
Asked someone to marry you? Innocent
Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty
Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent
Ever told a lie? Guilty
Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Innocent
Kissed a picture? Guilty
Slept in until 5 PM? Innocent
Fallen asleep at work/school? Innocent
Held a snake? Innocent.
Been suspended from school? Innocent
Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent
Stolen from a store? Innocent
Been fired from a job? Innocent
Done something you regret? Guilty
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Innocent
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent
Kissed in the rain? Innocent
Sat on a roof top? Innocent
Kissed someone you shouldn’t? Innocent
Sang in the shower? Guilty.
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent
Shaved your head? Guilty
Had a boxing membership? Innocent.
Made a girlfriend cry? Guilty.
Been in a band? Innocent
Shot a gun? Guilty
Donated Blood? Innocent
Eaten alligator meat? Innocent!
Eaten cheesecake? Guilty
Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent
Have/had a tattoo? Innocent.
Liked someone, but will never tell who? Innocent
Been too honest? Guilty
Ruined a surprise? Innocent :)
Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterwards? Guilty. Guilty Guilty
Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty
Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty.
Joined a pageant? Innocent
Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty
Had communication with your ex? Innocent
Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent.
Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty!