Thursday, December 2, 2010

The bone of contention

Recently K and I have been fighting a lot. Its been 5 times and we have had a row about the same thing. I don't want to wash dirty linen in public, but then I had to get it out of my system. I feel maybe my readers can help me ascertain, whether I am being over demanding or he is being under sensitive ( "Under sensitive" sounds so yieeeeksss but wanted "under" in the same sentence as "over" :D )

Ok now the issue is, I feel K is with the laptop alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the time. Yes this "all" is just a fraction of the "all" that I mean. Remember the post about idyllic days, when there was just K and I and books, books, books. Well, now we are internet enabled and laptop-ed too. Now we are officially on the dark-side. 

I never got the point of having a laptop of my own. Since I used to spend a good 12 hours with a laptop cos of work, I never got the idea  of sitting hooked to the same machine once I got back home. So it had always been K's lappie which was the only one at home. With television and various other avenues, K had near exclusive rights over the laptop, while I sneaked in for my regular  usage of emailing, blogging, chatting, booking tickets and the like. It was never a problem. 

But out here, without a television, without immediate family and without so much of a social circle, its the laptop which  is  the window to the world. Once K is back home, around 1900, he obviously has the need to use the lappie. But imagine me, I have the urge to talk to another human being too. I want to know what happened during his day, what did he have for lunch? Whats the latest thing in office. And I want him to hear what are the updates from back home (since I do most of the calling) , I want to share any good thing I read or simply generally what did I do. But then he prefers to unwind by blankly plowing his farm or feeding his chickens (Yes you read it, hes on Farmville!)

There were times,when I took this as the stuff guys do. Being addicted to games etc. But then I started loosing it one day. So whenever I heard his tractor or his animals bray (or for that matter the sound of any of the many annoying games that he plays), I would get into a rant. K's defence would be he needs to unwind, and it was not fair to keep tab of how much he was using the laptop. He was like when I used it, it was to connect with my family/friends or for my interests (blogging) but when he logged on, he was being an internet hog and not communicating enough and being ignorant of my feelings. He charged at me for wanting to make him like me, as in it was ok if he talked to family/friends, chatted with people. But when he played I got irked. This was not done, cos he could not be like me, he was not much of a conversation-ist ,(this coming from a guy who fell in love and got married mostly cos of email conversations!!) he was'nt into blog-world, he needed his dose of games. That made him - him.

I never wanted to be a typical restraining wife, never thought I am one, but does it sound like I am being one? :S I know he is not wrong, and I am not sure if I am right- and so the argument continues (Remember the good ol ad? Coffee?Toffee? And the argument continues :D ). 


Renu said...

common bane of married life..dont worry it happens hubby comes home and starts his CNBC channel and it goes on till we have dinner or go to sleep and he likes me to sit there quietly:)...Now I read magazines in that time:).
here both of you for demanding his time, and he for unwinding in his own way..may be think of a middle way..he could play but for a short time and devote the rest to you.

Abhishek Khanna said...


hota hai hota hai :D :D

this facebook is a serious time waster!! I have fights with mylsef for being on it so many hours a day :D :O :P

Jack said...


Read 2 posts now. I am fully with you on planet, sea animal and emotion choice in tag. Others were also very sensible. But not Banayan tree as it permits nothing to grow under it. I would rather be a tree which lets those below grow to their best potential. On this one, well, let him be. Let me think about it and may be I come up with some workable suggestion.

Take care

Ashma said...

hehehe... happens.. :) in our case its the other way round. I like to watch TV while eating and M likes to talk & food.. sometimes he wins and sometimes I do. :D

Anonymous said...


This is my hubby too! Likes to unwind in front of the computer. It used to bother me before, now I just read books and when we both are done with our stuff, we're back together again!

But yeah, the games on FB are addictive, and I was into it too. But give it time. I got over it, it was a phase and it bugged my hubby too. But now it's all in the past.

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