Warts and all

On the surface I have everything going for me. I have a loving husband, a child, a job I love, loving circle of family and friends. I am mostly happy go lucky, and tend to take a devil may care attitude towards most things. I am a very firm believer of some nuggets of wisdom like 'Live and let live', 'To each their own', 'No one is black or white - everyone is grey' which helps me accept many road blocks. I have read quite a bit of Hindu scriptures (more their loose adaptations and re-telling by mom and mil) and the concept of Karma gives me further acceptance of people and circumstances.

In spite of all this, once in a while, I get jealous. Well... jealous is not the right fit. I get a rumbling feeling - what did so-and-so do to deserve such-and-such. I hate having such thoughts, as there is a popular Facebook wall picture - Never judge the happiness of others for you don't know what their struggles have been like (or something on the similar vein). Yes. I understand that too. We do not have full appreciation of what another person's life is in detail. How is any other person's bounty going to affect me? I have my kitty and they get their dividends from theirs. Their progress in no way impairs mine, affects mine. We are like different celestial bodies in the vast space, whose paths would not intersect come what may. Then why that negative feeling from me? 

This time I gave it a good hard thought... and since this space is my space for getting clarity, I thought let me try to write and analyse. Why this angst against some achievement of another? Is it because, in my not-so-perfect world, there are some wishes that seem should get a higher priority in the grand scheme of things? And when another person gets something he/she wants, I feel my desires are being pushed down a level by some Supreme Power? Is it because in my head, I have a designated state in which every person should be? Is it like I have given a time and space coordinate to each person, and any movement disrupts the field? Is it the case of misery loving company that I wish a lot of other people also wallowed in misery and defeat? 

I feel guilty for harbouring such thoughts. Being God-fearing, I dread being punished for having ill-will against another. But then I am a mere human... so help me God.

Not a romantic arrangement

I did write about seat-gate in one of our train travels in my last post. One haadsa (incident) happened to us too.

The journey was long and after a day off sight seeing K and I were dead tired too. K in fact was feeling a bit claustrophobic in the crowd. There was a lady who was quite harried by her baby and toddler. She and the toddler occupied 2 seats while the baby was in a push chair. Finally when she got down, K grabbed the seats left empty by the lady. I sat on K 's lap. Why? Well I will unravel the reason in a bit :)

After sometime another lady came in a rush to occupy the seat in which the toddler was sitting. She pulled down the chair (the place where you place the bottom kinda folds up, like in cinema theaters ) and made a grotesque face and ran away repulsed.

Now is the time for drum rolls ;) The reason I did not take that seat was, the poor baby had puked all over it. So my sitting on K's lap (immaterial of how romantic it looked) was a totally infrastructural arrangement :P

Hum log( We people)

We recently took a holiday. While on holiday, what K loves the most is abusing.. er... using the underground metro system of cities. I like taking in the culture and noting the general behaviour of people. K says I stare at people :( I prefer to believe I observe ;) 

One day we got into a train and there was a family. Mom, dad, a boy and a girl. The boy was seated on mom 's lap and the girl in a seat. The dad was standing. The father said in  Hindi ' control main nehi hain dono, itna maroonga na main inhe ghar jaake! ' ( They are totally out of control. I am going to give them a good thrashing once we get back home)  The mom sat, listening, gently stroking the head of her son. Moms - aren't they the peace keeping force all the time? The father's words did not shock me, they in fact rung a bell - the old school disciplinarian dads before the daddy cool cult came in :) I absolutely love the new gen dads who do so much more. But I was raised by one of the retro ones :) so I know one when I see one :)

Yet another time we went to a place which was up in the hills. The trains were once every hour and the journey to the main city was close to an hour long. At the station a family got in - mom, dad and two boys. There was no place to sit in the train. But there were a couple of  steps on either side of the compartment. 4 steps! Problem solved for mommy! There was only 4 seats she needed! She made her sons sit on one side and she and husband  were about to sit on other two, when a man came and stood on one of the steps. She told the husband 'usko excuse me bolo aur baitho na!' ( Say excuse me and sit down). Husband hesitated. She said the golden words, the man moved  and they sat. But there was some more trouble in paradise. Someone had to use the steps on the other end and the elder son got up to make way. In the meanwhile his seat was usurped! (Boy we were having some musical step-chair going on there!) Elder did not mind and shared the step with his brother. Mom asked from the other end if he was OK. He replied yes. She went across the compartment to check. All the while her husband kept his hand on the step lest someone grab her step - chair!! 

15-20 minutes later, someone near the mom was getting down. Even before the passenger could lift one half of her bottom, mommy had secured the seat! She at once called  the younger one to take the legal seat :) Next station someone at the other end  I.e the end where elder was still seated on a step got down. Someone quickly came and took the place. Mom from the other commented 'usko dikh nehi raha tha wo utarne wali hai? Kitna gawaar hai yeah ladka!'  ( Didn't he realise she was about to get down? How rustic is he!)

K and I could not help but chuckle at all this. But what I also saw was protective matriarch. Society may be accept it, but just how willingly women take the responsibility of the whole family. Even if there are men! 

People do not cease to amaze me. And such incidents just increase my marvel :)