Topsy turvy

 Things are never super duper smooth sailing for me. Such is my luck. If things can go wrong, they do go wrong. 

So I was at risk of redundancy in my current firm. I started looking for a new role and managed to get one as well. I handed in my notice to my current company. It came as no surprise to my manager since all of us were at risk. There were no hard feelings and he was super supportive and was looking at an early release if needed. I was looking for a release on the 15th of August so that I could start in my new place on the 18th of August. I would work till the 31st of July and then take two weeks from 1st August to 15th August as holiday and join on the 18th.  I made this clear to my new place. The recruiter wanted to understand the full timeline. And I made it clear what my plans were and how I was negotiating a release. Once they were made aware, they started pushing for an earlier joining date. My initial offer letter had 11th August as the joining date. This was subject to change. Since they were now aware of my where abouts (for which I was totally to be blamed for divulging in total naiveté) they were insistent that I join them ASAP. 4th August to be precise.

I had no plans for the 2 weeks of holidays. But I needed that break. I wanted to spend the time unencumbered with my kids since it was summer break too. I did not want to be bogged by new work, access requests, getting laptops set up and a million other things that come with joining a new place. The recruiter was insistent in calling and texting and getting in touch with me regarding an early release date. I am not very comfortable dealing with such scenarios. I can take a full on technical issue and deal with it through sleepless nights, but I cant deal with people who tick me off in the wrong way. I was getting very annoyed with his constant calls pestering me for an earlier joining date. At the end of it I just lost it. I wasnt keen on entertaining such ignorant arrogant people. Maybe he had his reasons(which wasnt made clear to me). Maybe there was no ulterior motive but they just wanted to get things started very quickly. But it didnt sit right with me. So I started my look out for jobs again. 

I had an interview which had gone quite well and there was a tech test which was pending. I reached out to the contact and asked if I could restart my application. She was very welcoming and was at once willing to get going on my application. She passed on the test. It was very daunting and quite a complicated test. I spent an entire evening panicking over it. I had to look up tutorials because it had been a few years since I had done work in the particular technology. I started on Wednesday(16th July)  and kept a mental time frame of finishing it all by the weekend. It was 5 days worth of work where I toiled hard to present my best foot forward. Sunday evening I submitted my work. In the meanwhile, on Thursday I got confirmation that I was ok to join on the 18th of August. 

There were too many things up in the air for my sanity. I felt I was very reactionary in hind sight. I felt as if I need not have negotiated for an early release in my current firm, since I was loosing the chance of literally getting paid for doing nothing. This again didn't feel good for the work ethics part of me. But this was the genuine state of affairs. There was no compulsion to do any work for any of us since we were all at risk of redundancy. We were allowed to devote all our time for preparation for our next roles where ever they might be. Many of my colleagues had taken this route till the year end to start looking in the new year. They were taking the time to relax and up-skill themselves. It is not a mindset I can live with, but looking back perhaps this should have been my approach after all. One learning for the future me. Sometimes it is good to take time to react. Though honestly I am not sure how successful I will be in removing the impulsive part of me who likes to dive in and take action as soon as there is a stimulus. 

Sitting on the 21st of July things seem in a lot of flux. There was a moment last week where I was tempted to rescind my resignation. I was so daunted by the tech test, that I simply wanted to withdraw it and sit here till December to see how things pan out. But within 5 days or so, I have managed to submit my test. I will hear from them tomorrow. I have another initial round scheduled for tomorrow. The kids holidays start tomorrow which means a bit relaxed when it comes to schedules but a bit more chaos in terms food and general lay of the house. If some other offer happens in the midst of this, I am also dreading a very uncomfortable conversation to withdraw myself from the position with my future employer. I have no idea what is going to happen. I have no idea what is good and what isn't. I just have to wait and bat it out 🤞

The journey and the destination

 I am very lucky when it comes to my family touchwood. They just swoop down and encompass me in this blanket of love and caring that I just feel immune to any worries and woes. Thats what happened over the weekend. My mom flew down and took over all the chores in the house like ironing the clothes, cleaning up and all the peripheral activities. My sister took over the kitchen. Papa engaged in light talk about the England vs India test series and cleaned up the garden with me. Their very presence, the light hearted conversations lets me leave my worries and  cares and bask in this true love.

The interviews started lining up. My diary started getting filled up. I will be honest, there definitely was a big plus in officially trying for a job. There was liberty of using any sort of work resources to help one find their next employment. I made a calendar of all the initial conversations that were scheduled for me. When I started talking with all these people, looking to hire someone like me, I loved it. There was a thrill in putting my best foot forward and show-casing all I knew. There was a challenge in thinking on the spot and coming up with answers. There was a sense of achievement in the feeling that I had given my best. The adrenaline was back again, in proper fight mode. I had been scared and been hiding behind a cushy job which I claimed I could do in my sleep. The benefits and the flexibility made me further chained to the mundane and drab work. This was the jolt I finally felt glad for. Maybe it was God's plan to get me out of a rut (since I did not realise I was in a rut in the first place) and get me moving and excelling. 

The interviews I had were brilliant. They were all amazing people who wanted to assess someone instead of putting someone through a gruelling test. I loved the whole process. There was one company which was progressing at quite a rapid pace. They were very keen to have me on board. I had an initial conversation with their CCO who went on to schedule a face to face technical interview. Post the interview, within a day they were happy to give me an offer. There were a few more conversations in the pipeline. But that I had an offer was terribly reassuring. I let the news out to people who had been worried for me. The fact that after the dreadful news, when everything seemed gloom and doom, with news of the awful market and what not, it was amazing to end up having an offer, to have options, to have the excitement of moving on!