DareDevil

Hmm one thing I hate is crossing the railway tracks. But it is what I do every day.
I take the local train to commute from home to office.
Evenings we have a drop from the office to the station.
Now there are two ways to get to the platform to board the train: -
1. Go over the foot over bridge
2. Jump over the tracks

The entry points for taking either of the routes subsequently are different.
The employees of my firm literally coax the driver of the cab which takes us to the station to park it so that they can go over the tracks rather than take the foot over bridge. ( much to my annoyance)

Jumping over the tracks freaks me out.
A relative of mine once had a pretty bad experience when her shoe got stuck in between the tracks with a train being pretty close.
I always get terrorized by that thought.
And many a times I can hear the whistle of the train, or the light cast by it, and still I huff and pant and struggle over the tracks mustering all my courage. ( now don't ask me why do I do it, if I dislike it so much. Maybe the thought of being all alone on the platform while all my colleagues would be chugging their way home, is not very palatable for me)

So many a times I have ended up scrapping my precious shoes over the pebbles on the track, hurt my foot innumerable times, stumbled, dropped my laptop, and been through a literal rough patch while crossing the tracks.

But yest I just crossed all the limits.
There was not just our train which are coming, there was another train from the opposite direction as well. So basically there were two monsters heading on towards me.
People were scrambling to make it to the other side.
One of my colleagues who is a close friend, reached the safety of the plat form quite soon.
She stood there calling " Come on Make it Fast,Come on"
And here I was scared, petrified, in dilemma and very tensed- Looking at the two sets of tracks to be crossed.

Then I just decided to go for it.
I literally covered one of the tracks in one leap(Boy! did nt it feel amazing! ).
I hope my mom never gets to read this blog, cos she was hell worried when I had mentioned the 'track jumping' act.
If she hears of me making it with the train being so close, and more over with two trains heading towards me, I think she will make me leave my job :D

PS: My friend told me, my train crossing reminded of her of the famous Aamir Khan train run from the movie Ghulam :D :D :D

Perfect timing or Completely wayward? :-S

Some times I wonder what makes God do some things at some times? I know His ways are completely unfathomable hmm but some times I would like to unravel His intentions.
There was a time when I was in Calcutta and things were going on in a very disconcerted way. My professional life was in utter chaos. I had no other go but to make a move from the organization. And I went to any extent for that. There was a period of time, when with the salary of a fresher I used to take flights all the way to Bangalore to give interviews, much to the concern of my parents. I did not have a single penny as savings cos of this. I had work which drained me to the end, and after that what ever time I could manage I used to study for interviews and all. I tried umpteen times, but every time what I got was failure.
At that juncture I happened to read an article in Reader's Digest in which a lady had left her job due to some constraints without having another job in hand. She was in a similar state, where she was running from pillar to post but to no avail. In that article she had mentioned, " Maybe every rejection is just taking me closer to the ideal job which is waiting for me." This statement stayed with me. And no matter what I kept on trying to give every interview possible.
At a point of time I decided with my fiance (lemme call him K) that I had to relocate to the city where he was working. I opted for a transfer.
But as my luck would have it, that did not end up being a smooth transition either. My transfer date kept getting postponed, and in the meanwhile, K was sent onsite.
Ironically, the date I finally managed to get a transfer coincided with the date K got for his return to India! It just seemed as a stroke of luck, superb timing by Chubby God! It was as if He had just planned it out like a master composer, every instrument in the orchestra, every artist of the symphony, He had just laid it down. It was as if He was giving me the message"See girl! This is how I wanted it to be. Not smooth sleek flows, but ups and downs (yea Hellova lot of them) but end crescendo should be memorable"
Till date I remember flying from my home town to K's place.
At the new office, work environment was very good. I was happy all the more cos of the fact I was with K in the same city after 2 years. Our entire span of courtship (if we ever had one :|) had been with us being in different cities.
Life seemed idyllic now.
But to make any progress on the professional front, I had to quit my current organization. I had made too many changes in projects and places which ruined my chances of making it to the next level in the current organisation I was working in.
And luck had it so... I got the best offer and challenging and different work opportunity in another city. K and I thought, fair enough, if this is how God's planned it, I move, work for a year and half, put some solid learning in my resume and earning in my account and come back to K.
I moved to a new city(Again). The traveler in me loved it. And after eons I had good room mates for company (I have stayed with good people before, but staying with 6 good girls is like a boon! :) )
The work was engaging. It s like I enjoyed my life here, but I keep thinking about my life with K and when I might be able to get back. I also know once I am back with him, I will miss my friends here like hell.
But then in the recent past, one of my colleagues had been up to certain misdemeanors. I cannot challenge him on it, but he has made my stay in office pretty uncomfortable.
It was work only which brought me to this place and was making me move on. (Having good company at home and a generally peaceful existence were just lateral benefits.) Now if the work front unnerves me, I feel it was utterly futile exercise to make the change.
I dont know why God had to put me through this trail. Seems completely unwarranted to me.
Allowing me to have a pleasant stay here and a smooth shift back, that would have been so cool. But I am just not able to fathom why this now.
Seriously, strange are His ways.
I am just waiting when the perfect timer will strike again and bring in the epoch. Till then, the recent changes seem completely wayward to me.

Blog Quizes Thanks to Ashma... :D

Ashma my friend is such a waste of a person..She is such an awesome blogger.. But all she does is take blog quizes and post them.. and tempt me to do the same...
You are to be blamed wholly for me posting quiz results :D


Now this one is tooooooooooooooooooo damn funny LOL..


And...........


Yes 78%
No 19%

Lets101 Quizzes - Fun quizzes for blog & myspace

Ahem

	MODERATELY SENSUAL
	Your sensuality quotient is 67%
	According to research, people who are more sensual enjoy life to the fullest. They live in the present, and don't dwell on the past or worry needlessly about the future. They truly experience each moment, and relish it. They live life king size! People who are too sensual are the ones who are most prone to substance abuse and leading a hedonistic existence. You seem to have found the perfect balance. You know how to enjoy and titillate your senses, but you also know where to draw the line. You enjoy the smell of fresh flowers, the touch of your lover and the taste of good food, but you won't lose yourself and get totally carried away by your feelings. You often experience a tug of war between your heart and your mind, and while your heart wins at times, your mind doesn't lag far behind. You are a warm, yet practical person. You let your hair down once in a while, throw caution to the wind, and have a good time.

Take the Quiz :-) http://www.indiaparenting.com/quizzes/sensuality/index.shtml

Keeping Busy

I like it when I am damn busy I think. In the days that have been I have been literally running around with out any time to spare.

Till the 18^th of November, I was preparing for an exam.

So mornings after the normal chores and 45 minutes walk, I used to sit down with books. While traveling to office, it would be a novel which would occupy me. Work would keep me on my toes for the next 10 hours. After which travel back home, scram and have dinner and then sit down with the exam prep again.

My free time used to be… hmm I can say… the minutes I used to spend talking to family or one or two friends. That would cumulatively be some 1 hour at the max.

With that pace of life, I wanted the D day to pass soon, so that I could sit back and relax.

I used to see my flat mates having a gala time, moving leisurely, having (what seemed to me) the luxury of watching tv, talking over the phone with out thinking how many minutes is the call eating up, and generally having a peaceful and calm existence.

I felt I was all the while literally running on a treadmill.

But after the exam got over, I had one complete day when I just chilleddddddd it out. I watched tv as if there was no tomorrow :-). Then for the next 2 days, coincidentally work pressure was a bit low. And I used to come back home, read a novel and drift of to sleep. I used to sleep so deep and so much with out any damn concern. I remember waking up all alert in the mornings with out any sign of left over sleep.

I continued like this for 4 days I think. And I loved it. But I got bored of it I guess.

The very next week, I resumed my swimming.

So the mornings I wake bolt up at 7, scurry to the pool, after an hour there, run home, have breakfast, read the paper, get ready and then dash to office. And now see the twist of fate: work is hectic again – demanding me to multi task over 3 completely different arenas. I come back home and then again I have this whole pile of un read novels asking for my immediate attention. And I have to force myself to hit the bed by 2330 hours so that I can get up again all fresh and bright for the humungous morning that beckons me.

Hmm…. Well… keeping busy tires me. But I cant take the relaxed pace either. Hmm… weird dilemma.

Cosmic Connection

I must have had some cosmic connection with the city of Chennai.

It was on the date of 30^th of June, 2004 that I had got the mail for the posting of my very first job – to Chennai. While most of us were anticipating and looking forward to Bangalore to be the first destination, it was Chennai for me.

My parents accompanied me to consign me to a new world; to see me off at the threshold of change from being a student to an employee. On the day they were supposed to return to my home town, I was on the throes of despair. I remember sitting on the benches of a mammoth shop shedding copious tears. I was too crestfallen at the thought of my parents bidding me good bye. I had been a hostel boarder through out my graduation life, but some how maybe the situation made me feel so vulnerable that I could not help but be morose.

After the initial training, my permanent posting was in Calcutta. Now this place was much closer to my home town. All other folks who were in and around the eastern part of India were overjoyed at this stroke of luck. But I dunno why, in spite of Chennai being so far from my home and in spite of the culture, the food habit and the very way of life being so different from my native place, I was sad at leaving it.

May be there was some bonding which I felt with it.

Luckily I got many more chances to re visit the place for short as well as long terms. Every time I went there, there was a sense of “being at home” in me.

Most people from the northern half of India face the impediment of language out there. But some how I was able to maneuver with ease. Luckily I generally ended up with auto rickshaw drivers who were conversant in Hindi, or dhaba folks from the north of India. (Now people who stick to logic and reason might say – that’s a direct consequence of the IT boom which has completely transformed most metropolises in cosmopolises in India) But I some how like to believe, its like my second home, easing out my stay a bit, ironing out some minor inconveniences so that I have a pleasant stay.

Not only that, I have never once encountered “bad weather” there. Ask any north Indian about Chennai, and they wont miss mentioning “humidity”, ”sweat”, ”oppressive heat”. Luckily or unluckily I never got a chance to crib about the weather at Chennai. I have been there in months of June – March, but never ever has the weather unnerved me. May be I have to try the month of May once:-D.

I think I am in love with most of the things of the city. I like the ethnicity of the place. The deep rooted culture of the people. The omnipresent shoppers. (Some how I feel people there always have a reason to shop. The shops always have the same density of population :-)) The raw mangoes available on the streets. The beaches. The plush shops standing vis a vis the street vendors selling their wares. (And each getting their fair share of customers). The awesome temples where you can literally feel divinity.

The city holds some charm over me. It’s simply a joy being at Chennai.

Pressure Cooker

I suffer from the pressure cooker syndrome badly I think. (This is a term coined by me for the knack of not expressing ones feelings then and there but keeping them pent up)

Currently I am going through the same so thought might as well write it down for future reference.

I am a person who does not give vent to her feelings to some people easily.
Its not that I am the egoist types who wants the whole world to come up to me and ask what’s wrong. It’s more like I try to under play my negative emotions.

If I am angry I try to forget it, rather not acknowledge the fact that I am angry. I try to carry on.
Some times this trick works beautifully. Its just makes sense not to harp on some emotions and go on as if nothing happened.
But then at other times as yesterday, it just goes on to wreck me.

Yesterday night I was very irked with a friend of mine. Now he has the penchant for teasing me big time.
Yesterday during a teasing session, my restrain snapped.
Rather than having a confrontation, I decided to sleep over it. (A TERRIBLE decision)



But.. it did not turn out to be one for those lovely days when I sleep within 30 seconds ( some of my friends are so jealous of this trait of mine.)
And I was fretting and fuming over what happened.
I was going through this endless cycle of re-play and analyze the sequence of conversation which ended up in me being all the more worked up.
I thought of all the worst case scenarios regarding all the future plans that I have laid. (I swear to be a die hard optimist.. But yesterday I was aghast at my own thoughts!! )
I was seething and simmering for a good 2 hours in bed :(
Generally if I don’t get sleep within 10 minutes I assume I am suffering from insomnia .I was nearly in the brink of tears yesterday trying to sleep for 2 hours :(

Today morning had some spillovers of yesterday night.
But I reached a pact with the friend of mine that next time I am going to be very vocal in case I get irritated.
Its now entirely my responsibility to stress which is the limit when he gets into teasing mode again
One should learn how to shirk from responsibilities from guys!
:D

The better half of the day has been wasted in me trying to make up for the sleep lost last night.
Dunno how I am planning to use the remaining time left.
I think I am gonna kill myself by the guillotine of guilt :)