(H)aving mom around

Any help with a toddler is always welcome . It has been a fortnight since mommy landed here. Things are definitely different . 

Since Chiyaa is a bit grown up, she recognised mom as the woman who comes in video calls every day :D She had her initial reluctance but slowly got comfortable with mom. Mummy took charge very quickly . She overtook the reigns of the kitchen and the house as if she had always been around . I had to advise her to slow down and let her body rest and get used to the changed time zones . But when have moms listened to their daughters *rolls eyes* She wanted to go the full stretch and keep Chiyaa with her totally . We insisted that she should continue going to daycare. 

To fully squeeze the bonus of mummy we had another situation thrown at us. K's work place changed. He had to commence working in another city which was half an hour's train journey from our current location. His total commute upped to 1.5 hours taking into consideration the travel times from the stations to work or home. Quite a movement from where he was once upon a time where he would cross a street to get to work! 

K starts really early but thanks to mom Chiyaa let's me get ready and start to work. The kid does throw a little tantrum cos she knows she can. Mummy takes care of her morning breakfast, lunch and massage. After she has napped, mom drops her at the day care. Mummy catches her breath by gymming! Yea we have an on-campus gym and though K and I might be sloths mummy uses it every day to get some cardio. Once I start from work, I send a quick message and we meet mid way and pick the little bird . With Chiyaa at home all things hover around her. So this short walk of 10 minutes is the time mom and I get to talk about general things . It is so different from the good ol days when mom and I would spend hours talking about anything under  the sun.   Gone are the days when I used to lounge on mommy's lap and keep yakking or reading or simply having my hair tossed . Sigh!

The three of us return to a very clean house. Mummy ups the ante when it comes to keeping the house clean . I am a bit of a cleanliness freak so coming to a neat and tidy home pleases me a lot! After some quick calls to Chennai granny and BBSR grandad, I get on with cooking. Mom's yummy lunch is my dinner but I need to cook for K since his tastes are a bit different from way things are in my maternal home. We have a buffet table for dinner with nearly 3 items everyday! We have inculcated mummy too into the Breaking Bad fold. After Chiyaa has retired we watch a couple of episodes before calling it a day. Mummy says our routine is akin to a practice in villages in India where after dinner people go and view dramas enacted on the road side:) 

I cannot imagine how we would have coped with my full time work, K's changed job and the demanding little munchkin if it was not for mummy. I dread to think of the scenes 5 months down the line. As of now, I am loving it! Ta ra ta ra ta!

(G)reen thumb

I am going to cheat my way through G by posting some pics of the result of my mom's utmost interest in (g)ardening :)

(F)ilms

F became a bit of a struggle. I was in a dilemma between finance , fitness or Facebook . I am no expert on any of them. I am not a film buff either (when I thought film I realised I call the photograph film as film. I call the films we see in theatres as movie. Or cinema. Calling movies as film is not incorrect so am going to go with it.) 

I remember watching the regional films telecast every Sunday with subtitles with my mom in my school days. I was lucky to view a lot of good regional movies as a result. I watched some award wining Odia movies too. Those have been the only Odia movies I have ever seen. The Saturday and Sunday evening movies on Doordarshan were quite fun too . Khoobsoorat, Golmaal, Khatta Meetha, Chupke Chupke were all shown in this time slot.  I can go over those films any number of times. One fillm that was much publicised was of course Sholay. It was on an Independence Day the movie was shown. I loved it. It was a very run of the mill story but the handling was unique. It was a departure from the usual norm of showing some patriotic movie or other every 15 th August  and 26th January. Both those dates were yet another holiday , but the afternoon deshbhakti film did enthuse a bit of nationalistic fervour. I think I must have watched Roja 10 million times. ( a movie I HATE. I hate all Mani Ratnam movies. I find them overly touted , mediocre in story and unnecessarily emotional without any logic. I know I am going to attract the wrath of all my sasuraal waale by this comment :D) Back to patriotic movies, there were lots of modern ones that came down the line like Border and Bhagat Singh. The gold is bagged  by  Shaheed. It is a brilliant movie by Manoj Kumar. The scenes made me feel the emotions that might have run then. The ending scene is killer but the one where the freedom fighter pledge their lives over candles is epic . 

While the state run television channels were the source of Indian movies, English movies were primarily sourced from video casettes and the theatre releases. My uncles were the major promoters of English films. Cos they were boys they inculcated me to their fold. I thoroughly enjoyed action or comedy films - Predator, Terminator, The Police Academy were some of my starting points. I enjoyed the action adventure genre and as a child simply loved Anaconda , Jurassic Park, Die Hard and Jumanji. Till date I Iove movies which pack a punch. ( simply HATE love stories and rom-coms. Yuk yuk yuk) 

I am a pukka action movie fan. It's no wonder that Kill Bill is my all time favourite movie. My idea of reliving tension is Kill Bill, part 2 specifically. Quentin Tarantino is my mostest favouritest director. I can not have enough of Inglorious Basterds either. I like Robert Rodriguez's Sin City as well. It is a movie par excellence. That brings me to graphic movies like 300 which are awesome! I wonder why Zack Snyder had to go so mellow in Man of Steel. The current crop of super-hero films are right up my street. Iron Man being the most entertaining. I love the Avengers series. It surely helps that K is a big time comics buff. He fills me with details and back stories. Cos he is a follower of the Marvel universe he has made me partial towards the Marvel characters. But one film that totally stands out for the right mix of everything and having the dashing Viggo Mortenson is Lord of the Rings. I did not enjoy the second installment, but Return of the King was full on paisa wasool  - I forgave Peter Jackson for botching up Two Towers :D 

During my pregnancy I had made a bucket list of the movies I  wanted to watch. Bucket List was one of the first movies I saw :). Which gets me to drama - the next category that appeals me. There are such gems in drama. I have not watched a lot but films like Good Will Hunting, A Beautiful Mind, Philadelphia, Erin Brockovich ... ah the list just goes on.  An absolutely amazing and must watch movie though is 12 Angry Men. I cannot bring myself to watch older especially black and white movies. Might be a reason I never found anything worth while in It's a Wonderful Life (I am sorry, I do not follow the norm on a lot of things :-(  ). 12 Angry Men is a whole different ball game. It is a very griping story, wonderfully executed and fantastically acted . It builds up so beautifully from what seems an open and shut case to one full  of possibilities.  Seriously the world is out oyster if we choose to expand our horizons. 

I have been able to notch a lot of words here. Yet I have merely scratched the surface . I have not a watched a lot of classics, I do not have a lot of knowledge about the technicalities, I don't even have a very eclectic choice in films nor I watch from a varied panorama like foreign films and all. Writing this has made me realise, I need to get working on my portfolio of films  :)

(E)ating Alone

There is saying that Eat as if everyone is watching you and Dance as if no one is. The first makes one conscious of the amount being consumed and the latter makes one footloose and fancy free. I do both as if the whole world is watching me. It does not help me in the dancing department since I become very shy. I wish I could enjoy and get into moving and shaking as easily as I see some others do. I am also very shy of eating alone in public places. I do not feel as if the whole world is watching me when I am eating in the privacy of my home - which does not help since I am not at all mindful of the calories being consumed. But God forbid if I have to eat alone at a workplace eatery or restaurant.

I am not sure how and where this started. The earliest I can remember is when I was in hostel. In the first year, we were a group of 17 girls who used to stay in a dorm. There would be some one or the other who could give me company during the meals. When we moved to rooms, I had 2 other girls living with me. Since they were from the core branch, their timings of classes were different from mine. We could never have our lunches together. Dinners, we were a troupe. Ashu who was the one I gelled most with, did not have her meals at the hostel since she resided with her local guardian. I have another idiosyncrasy of not being comfortable eating with any person. I should have a rapport and a bonding with him/her. There were sometimes when I had to eat lunch alone. I am not sure why, but I was super uncomfortable doing so. I opted for eating much later when the cafeteria would be deserted. Thank fully I became fast friends with Basu. She was a wonderful, funny gal who had the most frank nature. She was a silent companion and comforter for me. She and I developed a routine, and we  used to wait  on each other no matter what the other person's routine. Soon by our final year Ashu was way more regular in the hostel and I never had to eat alone in the hostel ever again. I remember our final meal in the cafeteria, Basu burst out crying and Ashu and I followed cue. It was the very last time we broke bread together. It has been a decade and it would be the stuff of dreams if we could ever have a meal as a trio. 

When I started working in my first company, I had no companions(Seems like the theme of my life). I had no projects either and had to spend most of my time sitting in the library. The librarian was a lovely middle aged lady, who too had the similar trait of not liking having her meals alone. I started going for lunches with her, but soon realized that our rhythms were different. She had her food way later ( which was more due to the duration she had to keep the library open and hence could leave for lunch at 1400 only), and she used to take a long time to decide, eat very slowly and later crib about what she chose (I some how do not like criticizing the food one eats. Once in a while its ok, but on a daily basis is a bit annoying. ) I  started having lunches on my own. I hated it. So I used to go at 1430 - an annoyingly late time taking into consideration the early breakfast,  which consequently wrecked havoc on my gastro-intestinal system. My next work place was very open. Every one minded their own business and was very cool. There would be tables near the vending machines where I used to have my lunch. One day, a girl came up to me and asked if I had my lunches alone and if she could join me. I said of course! Since there were televisions near by, we did not have to engage in much conversation. In due course a friendship evolved.  We  have been able to keep in touch and have been able to providentially help each other a lot! 

In Chennai, I noticed people eating all by themselves in cafes. I even saw strangers sharing a table if there was a scarcity. I never judged them, but was always amazed by it. Why couldn't I do the same? What was so scary in eating alone for me? It is only eating after all. In the UK, I have seen the practice even more. People sit and surf, read, talk over the phone - all alone. I agree, with some sort of a prop like a book, a phone or a kindle I am much better off eating alone. Still, I would prefer the most remote corner, my back to the entrance and wish no one I know sees me. I have some instances where I have to do so at work, I eat in a rush and beat my retreat. Any day I would prefer eating at my desk - very stealthily :) 

I hope one day I am able to get rid of this weird feature. Do any of you feel the same (I will not be surprised if  the answer is a resounding no :D )  

(D)octors

If you have not read the book by Eric Segal, then pick it up if you get a chance. I used to follow Eric Segal a lot once upon a time. I did enjoy his works. If given a chance now I would not voluntarily pick a book by him, just like I would not pick a book by Nicolas Sparks though  there was a time I quite liked his books. Why am I telling all this when the point I want to write is totally different. *rolls eyes*

Doctors – they have one of the most respected professions in the world. Many a times during my work , when I am really bogged down by the pressure and feel like exploding, I think – I am not a doctor or in the defence services. Lives don’t depend on this bit of code I am working on. Along with doctors I highly rate people who work in defence too. I think it takes a lot to choose a thankless job to protect nameless country men especially in our country. There was a time I wanted to be either a doctor or join the army. I remember my mom and dad having a conversation with me if I was willing to give 5 years for MBBS, 1 for house surgeon-ship, 2 for post graduation (that is the way the course works in India). In total 8 years of my life studying then subjecting myself to the vagaries of job hunt. Having the negligible patience it seemed a very daunting prospect to me while I could visualise my compatriots who would have gone for engineering route rolling in foreign money after 4 years. I even nurtured thoughts of joining the army but Short Service Commission was the only option for women. I would have been able to extend it, but would end up being employed for 8 years tops (As far as I remember that was the advice from a distant uncle who was in the Air Force himself) I had gotten it straight from the horse's mouth! Being jobless would be a nightmare. Hence army was again a road not taken.

Coming back to my original train of thought, doctors have always commanded a lot of respect from me. I have had a lot of interactions with them, some good some not so much. Always I have been stimulated by how much we depend on them.  My sister was born with 2 teeth(Yep! Shes an ajooba :D) One of them was loose. The doctor recommended that it ought to be removed, else there was a risk of it coming off and choking her. All of 4 days old, she was taken to a dentist and her wobbly tooth was extracted. The dentist claimed that he was nervous and she was her youngest patient! The icing on the cake was, he was not a trained dentist- not trained in the conventional sense of the term. He was an apprentice, who graduated into a full dentist in due course by learning on the job. None the less, he was a fantastic doctor (I know dentists are not regarded as 'real' doctors but try living with rotting teeth or paining wisdom teeth or like my sis being 4 days old with a gingerly tooth). He took care of a lot of my teenage teeth problems. He was the disburser of good advice not something that would give him repeat business. I have met  'qualified' dentists who take patients on a joy ride and appreciate his integrity way more.

Did a doctor ever save my life? Yes. When I was 12 years old, I had very high fever. The fever would not subside with ordinary medication. I was prescribed some pills which would sometimes work, but the fever would be back with a vengeance. My dad during those days was doing some research with the local Malaria Research Centre. He decided to take me there, and get a check. Since it was a research centre, there were no doctors there. He took the report to a friend of his who was a pathologist. I will never forget the look on Pramod uncle's eyes when he saw the report, and calmly asked to get me admitted in the Critical Care Unit. I was on intravenous quinine. He took care of everything all around.  It was much later that we came to know that I was infected with cerebral malaria aka brain malaria. I know he was a friend of dad's but he did not owe anything more than the diagnosis. The way he took personal responsibility not only then but in many more occasions for many more people, I am sincerely indebted. He was a gem of a person apart from being a very good doctor. I have met pathologists who are out their depth and make incorrect diagnosis which makes the patient go on a wild goose chase. But with Pramod uncle, you were in safe hands.

2 of my mom's cousins are doctors. After Chiyaa there have been innumerable accounts where I have pestered them with questions and queries. My elder uncle is in the US and is a dad, so he gets bombarded not only with the usual physiological doubts, but also with psychological ones  like how much crying is ok?, is day care good?, how much separation anxiety is tolerable? And you name it. I know all this sounds very silly and any of the grandparents can happily answer. But hearing it from a doctor is way more comforting.

Recently we took Chiyaa to the local dispensary. The usual cough and cold. The doctor checked her and let us go with the prescription. An hour later we got a call from the clinic advising us that she was a bit concerned and would like to have a look again in the presence of a senior doctor. We were flustered and ran back. Both the doctors were very comforting and assured us, all was fine. Being cautious, they recommended we take her to the paediatric ward of the local hospital where a more thorough investigation could be carried out. Chiyaa was not happy with it all, but we were very satisfied with the detailed examination, the x-rays and the final verdict of it being just acute chest infection. They could rule out pneumonia and anything serious which was good news. The doctor need not have taken the personal ownership and gone to such detail. After all, here we do not pay them and are on public health care. I will forever appreciate the personal care and concern they had.

There are junctures in life where a good doctor is a life saver. As they say in our Bollywood movies, Doctor sahib aap to bhagwan ka roop ho!

(C)offee-Tea

I have waxed lyrical about my infinite love for ginger tea so many times in this space. Any time is tea time for me. When we were kids, my mom was a massive tea drinker. She used to have humungous glasses of tea, glasses as big as beer mugs. She could not function without having her morning cuppa. Then while cooking she used to have one more. Once back home, she used to have a huge glassful again. It was not good tasting either. She would take a little milk, double the quantity of water, one tea spoonful of sugar and 2 tea spoons of dust tea (there is a lot of difference between dust and leaf tea, if we got the latter for her, she used to go crazy). The tea was a bitter concoction that was virtually un-consumable for me. There was one point in time where she switched to black tea with a slice of lemon, and no sugar. She was hard core when it came to the drink. Since she was addicted to tea, her worst fear was the same fate befalling her daughters. As kids, we were attracted to the magnificent aroma. One sip of her tea and we were back to our senses. At my maternal grand mother's place, whenever we went for vacations, tea was a huge ritual. All the aunties and uncles and grand-uncles and grand-aunts would gather around the huge dining table and drink tea while snacks and savouries were passed around. We kids were only allowed to have the biscuits and the 'mixtures' (Mixtures mean a very different thing in India :-) )The closest we were allowed to get to tea was to dip the thin arrow root biscuit or the Milk Bikis in the tea. There was a strange mother-child vis-à-vis aunt-nephew/niece bonding at work there. If the child took the third biscuit to be dipped into the mom's cup, he/she was sure to get an admonition for making the tea cold by 'adulterating' it. That’s when the aunty would come to rescue and offer her tea which would have already been tampered with by her child and hence taken off limits. That would be one scenario where aunty was much better than mummy :)

 

My dad preferred the milder version of tea. It was leaf tea, with a lot of milk, just some water to take care of the evaporation, 2 tea spoonfuls sugar mildly boiled to a light concentration. He used to have his morning tea and one cup in the evening. When my mom started working in a different location, he had to make his own brew. Being the lazy man that he is he struck upon an idea. He decided to transition some tea-making knowledge to his eldest off spring. When he had the first cup of tea, made by me, the comment was – 'This is much better than what your mother makes!' High praise indeed. When I started making the evening tea on a regular basis, I could not stay away from temptation for long. One day I took a sip and it did taste good. Nothing like mom's bitter brew. I made a cup for myself. With biscuit the taste was first class! I offered some to my sister –aged 6 then. Being a true blue foodie, at that early age, she could discern my fantastic skills. Till date dad and sis claim I make the best tea. For that matter even my mil claims to all, that no one can make tea like me. Anyone who comes home is certainly offered some tea made by her daughter in law – whether they liked it or not :P

 

Though the schools of thought when it came to tea were so different, the family was united on the coffee front. Coffee was made of pure milk, with lots of sugar and just a pinch of coffee. It was a commodity of luxury and was not consumed everyday. It was only for lazy Sunday afternoons or special occasions like holidays or cricket match breaks (back in the days where 50-50 version of the game was more popular). Since it did not have that much caffeine (due to the miniscule quantity that was added), we were allowed to have it more easily. I used to love coffee, it was not tastier but its aroma was more hypnotising. The nose succumbed first. The nose is half the deal when it comes to taste.

 

Surprise of surprises I got married into a TamBram family where filter coffee is fuel. The first thing that is done in the morning is putting some water for boiling. Ground coffee is pressed into the coffee filter and the boiled water is then poured to make the decoction. In a steel tumbler, a peg of decoction is poured, a little sugar and  the solution is made not by stirring, but by pouring the decoction from the tumbler into a flatter vessel and vice versa. This process is carried out till the sugar has dissolved. Fresh boiled milk is poured and voila! Filter kapi ready. When I had it the first time, it was like a whole new world opened for me. What was the thing I used to have earlier? Like a drug addict goes on to higher levels and small amounts don’t give the kick (I know I am watching too much Breaking Bad :D) , the coffee I used to consume earlier seemed like some kids version. I was in for the real thing. I was a changed person.

 

When we moved to the UK, I was bowled over by the variety of coffee. There was Columbian, Brazilian, from Costa Rica and where not. There were types, strengths, different roasts, flavours, syrups and toppings to go - it was as if a committee sat and thought Coffee(I am sure there are such people :) ). Being a colder place, the urge to have the warm drink was always round the corner. To address the issue of lethargy when it came to making another mug, I decided to go full length at a go. That’s when I migrated to having huge mugs of ultra strong coffee. The usual quantity we used to have in tumbler seems unsatisfactory. I needed my full dose. So I went from having coffee flavoured milk to big mugs of very strong coffee. I can imagine how my mom reached where she is when it comes to tea. In spite of having progressed on the coffee world, my first love is still tea and more specifically ginger tea. I believe there are very few things a warm cup of ginger tea cannot cure, especially if they are things pertaining to the mind :)

 

What I have here, is just a snapshot. I could go on telling tales around tea and coffee and idiosyncrasies of acquaintances around the drinks. I could have a whole post on the similarities and differences , a S.W.O.T analysis of tea and coffee, my experiences with different types of tea and coffee in different places, shop drinks versus home made . In short, I could go on and on till dear reader would need a cup of tea or coffee :)

 

(B)reaking Bad

I wanted to write about this epic television series. This series has converted me. I never watch  soaps. I remember some Hindi serials like Junoon and Swabhimaan being aired. I  followed them for some time, since those used to be the programs when we came back from school and had our food. I was glued to them for some time. Till I lost  all interest. I used to follow Byomkesh Bakshi which was   a crime series. It was one of the best made in my opinion. Somehow could never digest any of the Ekta Kapoor genre. My mom and granny are avid followers of some programs like Balika Vadhu, Mahadev and recently Mahabharat :) For me its all white noise.

 

I was never much into sitcoms either. In college most of the populace raved about F.R.I.E.N.D.S; I used to find it utterly mundane. Only during my maternity leave, for the lack of anything else in the 1400-1500 slot, I watched all the episodes. Post marriage, thanks to K, I started following Scrubs, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, My wife and Kids, Seinfield, Everybody loves Raymond and a few more. Some of the recent ones we watch together are HIMYM, Don’t trust the B in apartment 23, 2 Broke Girls, Happy Endings, New Girl, Rules of Engagement, Episodes and of course BBT. There are some British comedies which are funny like Bad Education and Pram Face. I watch them, more as something that is running on the television. I am not too serious and would not mind missing an episode. Though there are lots of chances to catch up on any missed episode, I have rarely brought myself to view them.

 

There was a lot of hullabaloo about Breaking Bad. Since I am not into serials I did not give it much regard. One fine Sunday afternoon, to utilise the unlimited broadband, K downloaded Season1. That very fine Sunday afternoon, for the lack of anything better to do, we watched E1 S1. It was all right. I could not ascertain why was it so popular. Since we had a free download, we decided to watch the next episode. There was some time, we had no plans. We watched one more episode. Till we sucked into the vortex. It was very easy to dismiss the first episode. It was just as easy to get glued onto the third and subsequent.

 

The first thing that impressed me was the acting. The lead characters of Bryan Cranston, Anna Gunn and Aaron Paul are phenomenal actors. I have an  itsy bitsy crush on Bryan Cranston. ;) The actors have emoted the characters with  dexterity. Bryan Cranston who plays the moppy but highly intellectual under achieving chemistry teacher is very playful and vibrant in real life. Aaron Paul's portrayal of a 'Yo' kid is phenomenal. He injects the humour element without being a caricature. He makes over the top stupidity feel valid. Anna Gunn who plays the uptight wife evokes the rage and empathy of the viewers in equal measure. On one hand she is this idealistic wife who does not see practical aspects which strikes as ridiculous, but on the other the extent to which she believes in some virtues strikes as commendable. The lead characters are very well supported by a cast who are on par in acting.

 

The second box that the series ticks is the wonderful writing. I like the way the story is woven. As the viewer is taken through the journey, it all ties together. A big role is played by chance. I am a bit of a fatalist, who believes in fate and destiny. If some things are destined to happen they will. In the story there are many instances I have exclaimed 'What are the  odds!?". Does that not happen oh so often?  History is speckled with instances where chance played a major role and changed the entire course of events. Any epochal event has a chance incident as its instigating factor. Similarly providence plays a major role throughout the script. Else it could have well got over in season 1. I like the way known factors are matched with unknown which are then altered due to the actions and personalities of the characters in question.

 

The third element is the element of suspense. It is no whodunit, the story revolves around happenings of people wanting to make a life of crime. They land in pretty precarious situations. The point till they extricate themselves can take one's breath away. There are so many such instances and each one is fantastically executed. Much praise is due to the actors who make the scenes so real and life like and make the viewer a part of it.

 

Well, I have been recommending Breaking Bad to everyone and his dog. As is custom, I have been late in jumping this bandwagon, but now I wear my love for this fabulous program on my sleeve!