Bluntly speaking - Kids

Roomie dear allegedly checks my blog site every single day and gets mighty disappointed not finding anything new. She even said, 'The Book thief had become the blog thief' :D Well said! I have been meaning to write something, anything at all. But my head was as empty as a null object (Excuse the atrociously bad joke, I am an object oriented programmer :P ) 

I am a very strong opinionated person. I think I started writing my posts, because I did not feel many people in the world could stomach my spoken word :D But then somewhere down the line, I veered away from venting much of my pearls of wisdom. Since there was nothing ground breaking happening anyway, I thought, might as well spread some shock and awe and reveal my ground breaking thoughts ;) 

Disclaimer before the reader proceeds : The thoughts are entirely my own. I would encourage a healthy hearty debate. I would love some in fact. But in good spirits of course :) 

Let me pick up something I have been having a lot of conversation about lately - kids. One aspect that I regularly see myself defending is why have kids? I was not a great fan of kids. I loved the bubbly, vibrant sorts who would get along with any stranger. But who does nt love those kids who perform to the crowds? I quite like kids now that I have had one of my own :D 

When asked why have kids, my rational, scientific mind says - because it is biologically natural to have kids. It is nature's dictum to try and improve our gene pool and produce the next generation. That is why I am a big proponent for cross cultural, cross ethnicity kids - mix the genes, make them stronger! I feel it is not only physically natural to have kids, it is emotionally natural too. Like the logical synapses of the mind enrich when we learn a new trade or pick a new skill. I feel the emotional circuits gets enriched when we have one additional person to love , to care. Why does gardening or looking after a puppy make one feel so good? Its the love and care that we put into something that gives us an intangible gratification. Imagine the gratification when you see something you have created out of your own self smile back, hold your finger, kiss your cheeks! It is surreal.

During the organic chemistry days, I remember, a lesson about covalent and ionic bonds. Without boring readers from other faculties (as if my topic was not boring enough :S ) , bonds are what tie elements together. A covalent bond is where some electrons are shared between elements, while ionic ones are where one elements lends some electrons and the other borrows some. Both result in a relationship - a bond. A covalent bond is way stronger than an ionic bond. Logical is nt it. A relationship based on sharing is stronger that one based on give and take! Look at that - science showing us the way :D With children I feel couples get the electrons to share. Some argue that, they have everything going swell. Why would they need  children to strengthen a bond. I do not say that kids strengthen a weak relationship or can mend bridges. They are an reinforcement to an already strong tie. Honestly, I have not seen a couple who have consciously decided to stay away from children, not being pulled towards puppies, kittens or the likes. The desire to nurture and rear is too natural.

I also feel, kids are a link to the previous generation. They not bind us to our parents. They see a miniature of their kids in their grand kids. In fact, the lack of day to day responsibilities, makes them look at grand kids as even more engaging exercise. Most talks veers towards the young ones, but then, that is so much more satisfying.

There is one last argument with which I would rest my case. I have met more people who have regretted not having children, than who have repented having them. So go on... parenting is worth it.

PS. I do not judge or cast aspersions on anyone who has chosen not to have children for whatever reason. It is after all a free world.

The book thief

Set in Nazi Germany, The book thief is a unique story of a child who is in love with words. This desire makes her steal books. It is the story of her foster parents Hans  and Rosa Huberman. Papa(Hans) has silver eyes and Mama is a wardrobe of a woman. But they are gentle and kind and have no qualms in sharing their meagre life.  There is Rudy Steiner with lemon coloured hair who is the best friend and competitor of the book thief Liesel  Meminger. Integral to the story  is the Jewish fist fighter Max Vandenburg and Isla Herman 

The story brings together the lives of all these non descript characters. Its the upheavals the actions of one man the Fuehrer cause on the people living in Himmel Street. 

The book's narrator is an interesting character. I was on page 7 when I had to go back an re-read to ascertain who it was! The times were hard and it is easy to be empathetic towards the people whose lives were dragged because of one man's wish to dominate the world. But the author writes about the trying times in a flippant manner. Still he strikes the right chords. There is one section about the marching of Jews to a concentration camp. The pathos would move stones. The only thing that did not work for me was the lack of anything new. The book was as if being written for the very predictable ending that it had. And there were flashes of brilliance while depicting human emotions. But they remained as flashes only. 

The book is a good story. It is about human nature. About the urge of humans to do things like steal  things that of no material worth - just to feel good. It is a story that reiterates  the inherent goodness in man. A tragic but positive story!

Some lines from the book that packed a punch

The day was gray, the colour of Europe.

I guess humans like to watch a little destruction. Sand castles, houses of cards, thats where they begin. Their great skill is their capacity to escalate.

Eleven-year-old paranoia was powerful. Eleven-year-old relief was euphoric.

It was the beginning of the greatest Christmas ever. Little food. No presents.

Their heartbeats fought each other, a mess of rhythm. Liesel tries to eat ers down. Te taste of heart was not too cheerful.

Liesel crossed the bridge over the Amper River. The water was glorious and emerald and rich. She could see the stones at the bottom and hear the familiar song of water. The world did not deserve such a river.

Say something enough times and you never forget it.

True love

My little girl sits near me eating and regaining her good mood. I give her a squeeze and kiss her fore head and say ' I love you my baby'. She looks at me with the most love filled eyes and says ' I love noodles'( which she was eating at that moment.) 

No wonder they say 'the most true love is the love of food!'

Small stuff

The other day I went to the fish monger on my way back from work. I goto the small local shops in the farmer's market. I chose 2 salmon fillet cos that is exactly what Chiyaa likes. I opened my wallet to pay the bill. And I noticed there was not a single note of currency! I had not been robbed. K had chosen to sneak some dosh. I apologised to the fish monger and said I would not be able to make the purchase since I did not have any cash. 

One of them said 'you can use a card' I thought they meant I could use my card to withdraw some amount and pay them. The ATM machine was a walk away and the trip would have delayed my time of picking up Chiyaa. Not that it would brought the world down but my OCD would not like it. So I said ' sorry it's a bit of a walk. I will get the fish later  '. That's when the guy said 'no use your card here'. I asked ' oh you got a card machine!?'( It was a very small shop and I did not expect them to deal in anything but currency notes) The guy said ' Yea we have a card machine ' There was another person near him who was washing the place ( It was close to 1700 and most shops close by that time. Since this was a fish vendor 's they were cleaning up the stalls of the blood and gut and other remains of fish) Then he said, 'you can even do your washing here love'. I smiled. I stepped into the shop to put my card. 

Then I heard the man doing the washing say'what are you thinking?' He was talking to a lady standing at the shop. She was an elderly frail woman. She said 'I am dreaming.' 

Guy 1 said ' dreaming about me?' Washing guy said 'no of course dreaming about me ' 

Guy 1 responded'oh yes he looks good in a corset.'  

Washing guy responded ' yes I do look in a corset' 

Guy 1 said ' even your boy friend agrees to it '  

The old lady, I, the two men and some shoppers broke into laughter hearing this banter. I was chuckling for quite some time. They asked me to mind my step on my way back since it was all a bit slippery after the wash. 

It is these small gestures that make one s day isn't it?

What a weekend

Before you get your hopes up and then crushed by the end of the post - let me warn you. Nothing phenomenal happened :| But I am a worshipper of the God of Small Things. And I also wanted to write something :) So here goes. 

Well Friday was not a typical end of week work day for me. Generally  the 6th day of the week work either gets too bothersome that I can't wait for it to get over. Or it is so slack that again I can't wait for it to get over. But this Friday it cruised along to destination 'logical conclusion'. Woo hoo! Shop closed @ 1600. Hit  the gym. I try to sneak in 20 mins of gymming every alternate day of the week. Its not possible all the time and it's definitely not enough. But then something is better than nothing. Lately K recommended that strength training is better for toning down rather than running like a hamster on a treadmill. I was always a cardio freak. I enjoyed it more cos I could catch up on some catchy music ;) Then the wise man of the house quoted that strength would give better effect in  lesser  time. Well.... Why not try. Try I did. And K felt it was working! So the really short gym sessions are adding up to something thanks to K's recommendation. 

After the exercise there is another exercise which I don't quite look forward to. Picking up Chiyaa. Don't get me wrong. I want her home. Its her mood that is the pro. The mood of the toddler every day is volatile - much like the weather around here. Some days she can be an angel, munching her snacks, chatting away, playing by herself and then drifting off to bed. Some days she can be a tantrum Queen with nothing distracting her from her bad state of mind. Friday was one of her latter days. She seemed fine in her room. The moment we got near the pram she started wailing! I man handled ( woman handled?) her into the push chair and started  the journey home. The 10 mins walk seemed like eternity! When lo and behold suddenly what do we see? No not daddy. :P An earthworm! She has been seeing a worm in a book which we keep calling 'the wriggly worm'. So seeing a real wriggly worm in the street was like me bumping into SRK!!!! Just like the mere mention of SRK can keep me chirpy for a while, the worm kept her happy till dinner time. God bless you, you little creature. You may be small but you are so important!

K came home and offered to make dinner. It  was simply amazing! What did he make you ask? Oh well he made Maggi ;) It was perfectly soft with still the right amount of sogginess and soupiness. I made scrambled eggs to go with it since Maggi with scrambled eggs is just the wow combination. Dinner done it was back to back episodes of modern family till it was time for night night :)

Hmm I have filled half a page and I am still on Friday! The rest of the weekend in the next post then :D

The Lowland

 Jhumpa Lahiri writes about displaced people. She writes about misplaced people. She writes about India, more specifically Calcutta. She writes about being a migrant in a developed nation. She writes about the quandaries at home. She writes about the freedom but rootless-ness abroad. A lot of her writing resonates with me. Maybe because I was in Cal for quite a while, maybe because I am a migrant at the moment. JL  writes about human bonds. Bonds that add meaning to existence, bonds that suffocate. This book starts as the story of 2 brothers 15 months apart. They are veritable dopplegangers. As they grow they evolve. Subhash is the composed, measured one while Udayan is the passionate, impulsive idealist. They branch and embrace other characters. Gauri the strong willed, cerebral lady is thus introduced. The changes she impacts are far reaching. Unprecedented. 

The characters are strong. As a reader I was at no point sitting on the fence. I knew who I was rooting for and who I to use a mild term 'did not like'. Apart from the characters and the peep into their psyche, the book was like time travel. Not jerky. But smooth. Fluid. It spanned 4 generations and when each was presented it was like a different view after the bend in a river. It was like seeing the same thing in a different perspective each time. It was like being in a carousel and the same thing seeming  different after a turn.

I loved the way she has expressed some very real and likely situations. The part where she narrates a character dealing with insomnia made me feel so frustrated and helpless. The bereavement felt by another  pulled my heart strings. Anger, reticence, despair - each page is drenched in a variety of emotions.

The book is a journey. The book is an emotional unfolding. The book is a sheer masterpiece.  

Numbers game

Numbers measure so much. Most importantly our passage on this earth. We have the customary milestone years. 3 - the start of preschool, 10 the first double digit, 13- start of the teenages, 18- officially adults (?), 30-the advent of middle age, 60- pensioner. After that it's more of a wait to meet the maker(?). Hmm that seemed a very melancholy stream  of thoughts. 

When I am the very opposite of melancholy now :D It is our seventh wedding anniversary today! As with most occasions if something was to go wrong it had to. The trio woke with a royal cold :( Being the typical us with romance having eluded us, rather than doing the customary candle lit dinner or romantic movie, we had decided to climb a rock. OK let me come out clean, not a real rock, an indoor one ;) The only thing between a corpulent couple and the heights of glory was an unwell kid. Chiyaa was down with a cough. We were in two minds whether to drop her at day care. But when she started feeling a bit better we asked her if she wanted to go and meet her friends. She said yes! Which prompted us to drop her for a short while. We were gonna rock \m/ ;)

After the adrenaline rush of climbing a rock had gone down we could not feel our arms and legs any longer. We thought of giving the movies a shot but nothing tickled our fancy. We instead gave sushi a shot. K loved it! Surprise of surprises since he was never one to like something wrapped in sea weed! Inspite of being the more adventurous one, I didn't like it so much. More for the lack of fork and knife. Only one new thing at a time :( Grub done we picked the Princess early and let the chaos begin :D

A day full of myriad experiences - just like my life with K.