Second chances

 I am a firm believer in second chances. I had sat my engineering entrance exam after my year 12. I did not get the branch of my choice and decided to sit the exam again. This time as I was preparing, everything made much more sense to me. The organic chemistry lessons which seemed like voodoo the first time I was studying them became my favourite sections. I had always enjoyed physics and I enjoyed it a bit more this time around. It was all making so much more sense that I felt how dumb was I a few months ago to not be able to understand all this! 

I hated my first job. Everything was super hard, I didn't feel I was treated well. So much so I made up my mind that I was not designed for a career in IT. I still wish at times I had a different career, but my second job onwards I discovered the thrill of coding and loved it. I have been doing it for the past nearly 18 years and will keep doing it for another 18 I guess. 

My previous job was a radical shift in the way of working I was used and in the technology stack. I was working on some very cool and new stuff with quite modern ways of implementing. I felt quite daunted and suffered a lot from imposter syndrome. I was full of self doubt. But then my current job where I kind of do similar things, it is way easier for me. 

I don't know what happens with second chances? Are we armed with more information that we fail to see in our nervousness with the first attempt? Are we more relaxed because of our attitude that 'what's the worse that could happen ' and that lack of pressure makes us perform better. Are we more resilient after what we think was a failure the first time around. I am not sure what the reasons are, but second chances are really a deal breaker. They are our chance to get it right the second time around. Here's to second chances!

The changes

 The summer holidays have drawn to a close. I had my last week off to spend with the girls, and it was the best week I had :) We managed to do a bit of trekking one day. It was part of the 3 peaks which make the Yorkshire 3 Peaks challenge. The climb was quite hard and strenuous. Especially for the kids. But it was an immensely exhilarating experience. We loved every bit of it and really enjoyed the beautiful scenery from the top. The downhill journey was ironically as hard as the uphill 😂 After what seemed like forever we did manage to come down and treated ourselves to some gorgeous ice cream! With the high of having done a bit of trekking, we were eyeing the next peak. We planned it for the coming weekend when were to have wonderful weather. 

The week was a very sunny one and we had local trips and walks to keep us going. We did spend quite some time recovering from the long hill walking. We were definitely waiting for and raring to go for the next peak. Now this was way more challenging and steep than the first one! We had a bit of scrambling to do on our hands and legs. I was stuck at a certain point. Then thankfully I was advised by another hiker coming behind me to take an alternative route. It was quite sheer and steep and very very windy. I was scared out of my brains. But then there is no backsies 😖 I was amazed at my daughters for climbing up with all the confidence. After that exhilarating climb, it was time for downhill again. This time it seemed more painful because it was just plain old walking. The girls in fact found it boring.

This peak brought a close to the official holiday week for me. The climbing of two hills was exhilarating, but what lay ahead of us was the new hill of 2 different school drops, 2 kids going and coming back at different times and a whole lot of logistics with it. I was very very anxious about it and am really thankful that I managed a remote job where I could work from home. The girls had one more day to go for school and they used the time finishing some painting they had taken up during the holidays. Tuesday Pumpki started school. It was her very first day without elder sis. Chiyaa and K made a dry run to her secondary school. Chiyaa will be walking to secondary school which is 3 kms away. We are seasoned walkers and we did not think it would be a big deal. K and she managed a dry run with no hiccups at all. It would be a 07:40 ish start for her to make reach school at time around 0815. Dry run done, we missed little Pumpki all day and waited for her to return from her first day at school by herself without didi. She had had a wonderful time and was quite fine by herself. 

The next day was the main deal with Chiyaa starting her first day at high school!! Pumpki hates waking in the morning. She was the most difficult person to rouse out of bed. But she was ironically up with her elder sister. I managed to get her sorted ahead of time. We had set a routine for K to do the pick ups for Chiyaa and me for Pumpki. But since it was the first day for her, I wanted to drop Chiyaa. So K and I swapped places 😁 It was amazing walking with Chiyaa. She seemed so grown up doing so much all by herself. She was very excited for the walks. She was looking forward to her alone time with an audio book while returning. But I was concerned about her walking alone. She did not have many friends in primary school. We have seen most of the children walk back with some sort of company or friends. I was very reluctant to let her be alone. I did nt think in a span of the summer holidays she would be mature enough to walk all alone. But seeing her being so confident about managing, I did not want to dampen her spirits. It was more of a letting go for me. Only if I let her be, I would be ok with her taking ownership of stuff. So quite reluctantly I agreed to her walking back alone. 

As soon as her school was done, she messaged us and K and I got busy tracking her location. She is a fast walker! I was tempted to meet her half way. But given it was a very bright sunny day where there was amazing visibility, I did not want to ruin her maiden walk home. Eventually she came 35 minutes later and boy we greeted her with a big welcome! I asked her if she wanted to Mummy or Daddy at any point? And she said " No offence but I was fine by myself". My precious lil girl who used to cry to high heavens to be dropped off at day care and who had such a tough time at primary school in forming friendships was confident of taking on stuff!  Whole evening we kept pestering her with questions. It was a very new experience for us as well. 

The first day went well enough Touchwood. Here's fingers crossed for the whole year to be relatively smooth. 

The summer update

The days have been going at unique pace this year. There is a lot that is happening but it is all happening in a languorous pace that makes it seem all manageable. Papa Mummy moved back to India on 2nd August. It was a horrible rainy day. We didnt step outside anywhere. My sis and I had taken the day off and sat chatting. We never run out of conversations in my family. It just keeps on coming 😀 And there is honestly so much we discuss at the drop of a hat. We kept chatting while making preps and packing. And then the clock timed for us to bid our adiues. We said our tearful goodbyes. The pain of it was definitely lessened by the fact that I had my sis with me, a part of my parents. They made the long journey back with an overnight layover in Delhi. They really enjoyed staying in the hotel and the one night there refreshed them. We were so happy to have them in the UK for  a little over 5 months. Finally seeing them back at our home in Bhubaneswar brought the full closure. The weekend following my parents return, my sis returned to her rented apartment.

My kids just love being at my sister's place. We make it quite the norm to stay there during weekends and bank holidays. It is a cute unique routine. And once the kids are in bed, my sis and I spend the time chatting. There was one night where we were up till 0130 at night talking about this and that. I did mention we dont run out of conversations didnt I 😜 There was work the next day, but we just went on with out discussions and debates 😆  The kids love the sensation of being at a different place and sleeping there. They are of course pampered silly by my sis which is super endearing.  The city centre location gives them a lot of places for entertainment and also food. The hustle bustle of the city centre is something that can pep anyone up! During the summer holidays our trips to her place have been a bit more often which has definitely made the days more enjoyable.

In the midst of the summer holidays K and I decided to take a certification. In this ripe old age we took upon ourselves to prepare and sit a test. There was no need to do it, but we thought we should. It would help us in calibrating ourselves. There were days of intense preparation and we both passed. It was an amazing feeling and has ironically made us think of the next one 😆 Along with work and studies, we have been enjoying some real long walks with the girls. After clocking off work, we take the girls on a nice long walk which sometimes stretches to 8 kms. It does tire their little legs. But it is the time again for some silly family conversation, some arguments, some teasing and end of the day a good night's sleep 😀

There is one more week left for the summer holidays to get over. It will be a unique experience next term when Chiyaa starts high school. There is the aspect of this bigger school with kids from all over the place. And she has to take to walking nearly 3 kms one way! Pumpki will be in her old primary school and will definitely be missing the comforting presence of her elder sister during the times they used to be together in school for instance during the travel and lunch breaks. Both girls have very different and unique situations to deal with. But I am sure when I give my summer update next year, it would all be routine 💗

The planets align again!

 I didn't think it would ever happen again. For the planets align only once in a lifetime isn't it? But they did again! And we ended up celebrating papa and K's birthday in person together again! 

The birthday week kick started with mummy 's on the 4th of July. It was a busy day. Chiyaa had an open evening at her to be secondary school. The evening was packed. But we managed to get some cake and chicken for mummy in the afternoon since we expected a busy evening. It was a lovely sunny day. Mummy enjoyed a nice little walk with my sister. Papa mowed the lawn and did some cleaning activities around the house. It was the proper countdown to their return as papa kept saying. They are slated to go back to India on 2nd August and we could feel the pangs of separation as the birthday week approached. But then life goes on and we take pleasure in the small things that are bestowed upon us. I was happy that again mummy was with the people she literally dotes the most. She is also a very closed person with a small social circle which mostly entails family. She is closest to her daughters and loves being with her grand-daughters. So, I was pretty sure that, with no gifts, no big celebrations, she was still at her most satisfied.

3 days later it was K and Papa's birthday. By the stroke of luck it was a school holiday for the kids for teacher training. It was just pure coincidence and again something that had never happened before!! We took the day off and planned a day trip to York. Pumpki had gone there to a chocolate museum and she was keen that we all go there and experience what she had. And here Wham! came another brilliant coincidence. It was World Chocolate Day! It was all getting tied in a neat little parcel by some divinity. The trip at York's Chocolate Story was quite good. We stopped by for some lunch and then walked over one of the parts of the Roman walls that were built to protect the city of York. It was quite an experience. But by this time, the sun was getting on everyone's nerves. It was becoming a bit too hot and tiring especially for the kids and Papa. There were a lot more sights to see, but we decided to take the train back home. We quite enjoyed the trip and it was a wrap to a good day spent together.  

The days together might be drawing to an end, but we are so loving all the sweet moments that we can capture. I could not thank God enough for these days. 

Fingers crossed dear Chiyaa

 Chiyaa has been the most emotional component of our lives. When she was born, K and I could not have our parents near us to support us. We had to go through the entire ride of being new parents in a country which was not our native. It was a big learning experience but also a very handson and emotional one. We have many emotions and gone through many experiences for the very first time with her. 

Sending her to daycare was another monumental time for us. She took ages to settle down and it ripped out hearts dropping her every day. She used to cry and squirm in the pram even when we neared her day care. I had to literally tear myself from her and goto work. But then eventually after what seemed like eternity, she settled down and started loving her nursery. 

For most kids, nursery naturally leads to a local school. But we had to leave Leeds. She had to say her goodbyes to her nursery before the designated time. It felt like a relationship cut short, abruptly, untimely and painfully. She was given such glorious praise and good wishes by her nursery mates and her carers and even mummy and I who went to pick her up on her last day had tears in our eyes. 

But life is moving on. In a new town she started a new life in a new school. She didn't have the usual settling in sessions that the local kids might have had. She was thrust into the school. She took a few weeks to settle down and a new friend was instrumental in that. Her friend, her friend's brother and Chiyaa used to greet each other with the loudest hugs and shouts when they greeted each other. It was finally falling into place.

But then, life hit her and us again. K got a job in Leeds and we had to move back. We got her placed in a local school. She had a very very tough time forging new friendships all over again. Her teacher was phenomenal in settling her. She formed some friendships with some older kids, but they left school, she formed some friendships with her after school clubs but they came and went. She never had a good solid friend. There was shuffling in her class in the middle of school which landed her in  a group very unlike herself. She struggled through the next 4 years. K and I kept ruing, that a good level headed kid like her just needed one friend to make school life just a bit easier. But for some reason that was being denied to her.

She starts high school in September. On 6th July they had a trial day at her new school. She was in a group where she knew no one. She said she was fine with it. ' It will be a fresh start' is what the mature lil girl said. I dropped her at school hoping and praying she found a bunch of people to hang out with. We saw the some  known faces and I asked her why didnt she just say hi. She went ahead and one of the people hugged her and they all started talking. I had tears in my eyes. As she went into the big school building, I stood hoping she  would cope and survive.

When I went to pick her up, she came with a smile and my eyes watered again. She had some one from her school in her group. She chatted with a group of known people during lunch. She did not feel alone or left out during the day. My hope and prayer, May this be true for the next 5 years. All she needs is one friend. 

Planned unplanned day

 I am a sucker for planning. Anything impromptu makes me uneasy. But then last Monday to finish off one of my annual leaves, I joined K and took a day off. It was to be a day where we would go with the flow and do things impromptu. I mostly envisioned it a day wasted. ;) If it came to it, I intended to do the ironing and deep clean the house - there should be something to show at the end of the day :) We had nebulous plans of going for a long walk, enjoying a peaceful coffee and other sweet things, which I was pretty sure we were never going to accomplish. All those things need PLANNING!!!

First thing first, we dropped the kids off at school. As we came to the car, we noticed that one of the tyres looked a bit flat. The first spanner in the works. First the car was off to the garage. That seemd to be the end of the day - so much for impromptu days! It took some time  for the technician to assess the car. It was given a thumbs up. So only an hour of the available time gone. We still had 5 remaining hours. The world was our oyster. 

The weekend we had been to my sister's place. Mummy had made the most delicious chick peas and soya chunks curry. She had intended to pack some for me but while exiting I missed getting it. She was super guilty for not having managed to send some over to me (Moms right *rolls eyes*) So, I proposed why don't we walk to my sister's place and get the curries and come home! We would have a long 10km walk (back and forth) and dinner would be sorted too. There is always food where Mummy is, so lunch would be sorted as well. K jumped on the plan and we started our trek to surprise Mummy, Papa and my sis. That was a plan that came out of nowhere. 

At her place we chatted for some time. K was in the mood for some Mexican, so we thought of checking some of the vendors that put up stalls near the area. Since my sister lives in the city centre, she has all the hustle bustle. We took a stroll and instead of the Mexican place we ended up being convinced by a Cypriotic food stall. We ordered gyros and marched to her house with the goodies. The food was just divine!! We were totally knocked over by the flavours and totally high fived ourselves on having chosen to go with the dishes we did. Amazing. On the spur decisions are not so bad after all ;) 

After lunch and a little rest, we started our walk back home. Then off to the task of picking the kids and the rest was routine. This was a rare occassion of taking one step at a time and going with the flow and it was worth it :) Sometimes I can do impromptu :D

A tough time but a time together

 The week before last was half term break for the girls. I had my sister and parents at home for the duration. It was full IPL knockout matches time and it was brilliant fun watching the nail biting matches with Papa. We were looking forward to the oh so important match on the Sunday. On Saturday evening we decided to make some rice at night to make the Odia delicacy of pakhala since it was to be a hot day on Sunday. Mummy put the rice in the pressure cooker and it was getting cooked. My sister Lichie was making her dinner. All of a sudden there was an ear splitting noise. We all rushed to the kitchen and realised that the pressure cooker had somehow burst. There was rice all over. The whistle was no where to be found. The over hob extractor had been badly dented. But the lid had managed to hit Lichie on her shoulder. She was bleeding from near her eye brow and her lips. One of her tooth seemed to have been knocked off. There was blood and we had no idea of the extent of damage. The shock was terrible for Lichie and she was hysterical. The kids were afraid and papa mummy were very very worried and upset. We immediately rang the emergency services. We were given an estimated time of 90 minutes for their arrival. In the interim we kept giving cold compress to her.

It had been such a warm and joyful Saturday. We all had enjoyed a lovely spat of gardening. We were watching Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone since Pumpki had also finished reading the book. Now we could all enjoy the movie without any spoilers. We were so looking forward to the relaxed movie experience. And we were hit by this bad accident. To distract Lichie we thought it might be good to resume watching the movie after the kitchen had been cleaned up. 

Around 2140  we had the emergency responders. They made an assessment of her and deemed her ok from a health perspective. Her teeth needed attention from the emergency dental services which we were to get in touch with via another channel. We did so and managed to get an appointment for the next day. With the preliminary assessment and the recommended approach to reduce pain we were a bit at ease. She had steam burns and was in terrible pain, but there was nothing but waiting for things to settle down. The appointment with the dentist the next day went ok too and he was able to do a good job of patching up the knocked up tooth. Luckily there was only one tooth that had been impacted. It had broken in the middle and there was a laceration in the gum. It would take time to settle down and it was all a waiting game now. 

With this accident, we had to put on hold some of the travel plans during the half term holiday.  By Thursday when she was a bit settled, we made a trip to a nearby heritage house. It was amazing day spent outside and a welcome break from the tension of recent events. The kids and I mean while were being bothered by a nasty cough over the past 2 weeks. This week it was particularly aggravated. Mummy was rushing and tending to all of us giving us her utmost care to make us better. 

The kids started school last Monday and this week thankfully we are all together getting back in the routine. It was a very tough time and we sort of have a phobia of pressure cookers now. K and I were feeling a bit guilty that this happened in our house with our equipment. But we also dread the situation that it would have happened to the kids or mummy. That is a big nightmare scenario. Thankfully God is taking us to a healing place. Thankfully we were all together during this testing time to support each other. This too shall pass. 😀