Thursday, November 15, 2007

Pressure Cooker

I suffer from the pressure cooker syndrome badly I think. (This is a term coined by me for the knack of not expressing ones feelings then and there but keeping them pent up)

Currently I am going through the same so thought might as well write it down for future reference.

I am a person who does not give vent to her feelings to some people easily.
Its not that I am the egoist types who wants the whole world to come up to me and ask what’s wrong. It’s more like I try to under play my negative emotions.

If I am angry I try to forget it, rather not acknowledge the fact that I am angry. I try to carry on.
Some times this trick works beautifully. Its just makes sense not to harp on some emotions and go on as if nothing happened.
But then at other times as yesterday, it just goes on to wreck me.

Yesterday night I was very irked with a friend of mine. Now he has the penchant for teasing me big time.
Yesterday during a teasing session, my restrain snapped.
Rather than having a confrontation, I decided to sleep over it. (A TERRIBLE decision)

But.. it did not turn out to be one for those lovely days when I sleep within 30 seconds ( some of my friends are so jealous of this trait of mine.)
And I was fretting and fuming over what happened.
I was going through this endless cycle of re-play and analyze the sequence of conversation which ended up in me being all the more worked up.
I thought of all the worst case scenarios regarding all the future plans that I have laid. (I swear to be a die hard optimist.. But yesterday I was aghast at my own thoughts!! )
I was seething and simmering for a good 2 hours in bed :(
Generally if I don’t get sleep within 10 minutes I assume I am suffering from insomnia .I was nearly in the brink of tears yesterday trying to sleep for 2 hours :(

Today morning had some spillovers of yesterday night.
But I reached a pact with the friend of mine that next time I am going to be very vocal in case I get irritated.
Its now entirely my responsibility to stress which is the limit when he gets into teasing mode again
One should learn how to shirk from responsibilities from guys!

The better half of the day has been wasted in me trying to make up for the sleep lost last night.
Dunno how I am planning to use the remaining time left.
I think I am gonna kill myself by the guillotine of guilt :)


(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

oh i totally feel you. I sometimes do the same thing. In fact it would be better to say that i used to do this all the time but now i have controlled myself a lot. I used to run away from whatever was bothering me rather than facing the problem and i learnt the hard way that i need to talk and i need to let people know exactly what and how i want things done, and what i don't like.

It takes a conscious effort to change yourself. but since you have already identified the issue, i am sure it is just a matter of time when you will be able to find the solution to it as well.
Good luck, my friend :)

Abhishek Khanna said...

haha.. nice
i just shout wen i feel so.. helps a lot..
btw nice blog n thanc for dropping by.. u write gud .. u shud write more..

Deepsikha Mishra said...

:D 100 aana sachi baat
:-P..heheheehe Actualy we feel dat agar We go n tell d other person dat we r Hurt or confront dem on any such occasions..then we wud be hurtin them in return. n Thatz d reason Y PPL like us tend 2 keep things 2 us..n then silently suffer!

Ashu said...

Great post. You should update a bit too frequently

Featured Post

Business with acquaintances

I have always found it weird having to interact with people I know personally in an official setting. But I have had innumerable such scen...