Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Newbie's experiences

Been 7 and a half years since I left home. Since then have been a hostel boarder or put up in apartments with friends.
I moved to Chennai to be with my husband and family. I have not got that solid family feeling. But thats what is technically correct I believe.
Its not a major change. I know the people. I know the person I am married to. They are a pretty chilled out gang. No overt restrictions.
But still then I feel like a guest. I feel a bit hesitant calling over a friend to stay at my place, because I myself don't have the settled feeling yet.
And all the while that I am having at idyllic time at home (I am yet to join my new office) I keep getting seconds thoughts. I keep wondering is it too early to get into family mode? Did I hurry into the decision of getting back to family? I was blissfully with out any responsibility and having fun with friends. I could have continued having those times still. But when I ask any one they say, whats the point in delaying the ultimate? You have to be with them finally, whats the point in delaying the obvious?
Another thought that saddens me is the memory of my room mates and my friends in Hyderabad. I have a knack of keeping people around me busy. I will pull them for chatting, for shopping, for a movie or some activity or the other. I am also some one who is most of the time game for accompanying a person on an errand or a trip to some place. Before I left Hyderabad, my flat mates told me they will miss me a lot. And after coming here I keep thinking what they might be upto. I imagine my roomie having breakfast alone, usually we had it together no matter what. I shared a special bond with her. One with out words. One of unsaid emotions. We just understood each other. We were very comfortable in each others company. I don t remember a single instance when I was irritated, pissed off or angry at her. It was a smooth relationship with no one explicitly singing the other s praise. And now shes missing me a lot. Yesterday when she called and said it felt weird to be coming back to a room with out me. And she said, our relationship was so much one to one that may be no one else would understand. Yes roomie dear no one would understand.
Am still slowly transitioning into a new life. I feel as if I am going to an unknown destination.


Ashu said...

Hey Cherrie, this would take some time obviously. Itne saal ek family me rahne ke baad new family me jana is a tough ask and being a girl is a big big task.....

Dont worry, all d be fine......u d get tht homely feeling soon, it wud take some time...........

Shallu Goyal said...

jst a matter of time dearie...the feel comes naturally n u will also get adapted to the same during the course of time...dont think too much...and yes definitely good things r in store for u...jst keep moving...:)God bless

rOhit said...

I hope you're doing good. Remember, Time flies by and eventually we get used to everything. :)

Abhishek Khanna said...

aadat ho jati hai.. wen i retrned to delhi after 4 years in hostel life.. it ws a weird feeling.. but .. still aadat ho jaati hai with time

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

you are in the transition period and it will definitely take you some time to adjust to the new place and people, even if you are familiar with the people or know them, it makes a hell of a difference when you are living with them.
Just go with the flow. Take one thing at a time and i am sure you will do wonderfully :-)

Ashma said...

Hey dear.. u know everything will fall into place.. believe it or not u too are an optimist.. thats a different thing that u think abt the -ve aspects of a situation too.. ;)

And your roomie will also be moving on fine.. its difficult to be the one who has to stay when the other has moved on.. but everything's gonna be okay.. remember that cliched OSO dialogue 'kahani ke annt waala'.. that's true!! :)

And dont feel guilty abt living ur friend, it will pile up on ur sadness.

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