Knot to be

I am writing this post on behalf of a very lazy friend of mine whose out groom hunting :)

Shes my alter ego and we often have this tag between us that we don t need to talk cos our thoughts are just mirror images :)

Now her parents are looking for alliances and after every session with a prospective groom she is sure to have a session with me, discussing what were the good, bad, ugly, immaterial aspects of the person whom she met.

She expects some one who would have all her good traits and negate all her bad ones (Perfect is boring but who would not want to have a try at some one perfect ) So she wants some one who reads, is intellectual at the same time game for a dash of fun once in a while, a sport when it comes to outdoor as well as indoor activities, not lazy, is frank, superior to her in terms of educational qualification and monthly income,etc etc.. Apart from these tangibles, she also wants some one with whom she feels an instant connection, feels mutual respect, some one who has a nice personality, some one who would support her in her future ambitions, some one who would encompass her and make her comfortable in his own circle while also allowing her room to continue all her old relations and friendships, and some more qualities which I am not able to recollect now. I know her wish list is pretty long, but being a girl, who has to leave so much and consign herself to an utter stranger, it out right SCARY.

When I was deciding upon the point whether K was the right person for me or not, I had innumerable sessions with her and another friend of mine discussing, debating, analyzing. There were more loose ends and question marks initially. But slowly there were a few but pressing reasons for me to go ahead with the alliance. I wish I remembered the deliberations that went on then. But now as I help my friend analyze the people she meets I feel scared and tensed and really worried for her. Every time she goes to meet some one I nearly pray that may she make the correct choice, may she get the nuances of the person's behavior. But just how much can you grasp in one meeting? :-S

The other day while talking she said, "I know with what reasons you can reject a person but what do people see that makes them say yes." I had no answer to that. Then she went on to say"How are you doing Amu?" I was like what kind of question is that? She said , "No dear, you are so mature. (She always feels I am mature :| ) You can handle a lot of things. But you are also a jovial fun loving person who does not like any strings attached? How are doing? How is marriage treating you? Don t you ever feel burdened? Tied down?" I did not want to answer her with the fears I have of leaving my old life. Of leaving the smooth circle of friends I have now.

Then she continued "Really I am not sure I can live with one person all the life" I was surprised at this. She comes from a pretty traditional family where some things are not questioned. Shes a thorough romantic at heart and she having doubts about living with one person brought me face to face with the fact how freaking nervous she was. She said, "I have seen people being happy when their alliances are being fixed. Why am I not feeling so? Wish I never questioned anything and went ahead with any alliance my parents got for me." I said," See dear, we are intelligent enough and free enough to questions some things. And I am sure our parents are proud of this fact. They will be sadder if we compromise and settle down thinking we are troubling them rather than speaking our mind. So please tell whatever you feel about the person to your parents and take a judicious decision."

I don t even know if I am guiding her on the right path. I just speak as I feel, what I feel at that point of time.

She s close to getting an alliance fixed. Hope things work fine for you dear friend. And as we say, marriages happen with the person with whom its supposed to happen. I just hope that person is the rightest for you dear, a real good friend and who loves you to pieces. Amen.