Starting thoughts

I could not be prepared enough. I could not bring myself to digest all the thoughts that were scouring my head. And I thought about Papa. Papa used to travel for four hours to his work place and return. It involved a bus change in a nearby city. He used to do it from the age of 50 till he retired at 58. Many a times he would not get a place to sit for a major portion of the travel. Given his age, he was not keen on driving. Later when he had some peers, they would car pool, but on an average papa used to travel at least thrice a week from Bhubaneswar to Dhenkanal. He could have put up there, which was suggested by colleagues and mummy. But he preferred returning home. I did not understand him then. Did not understand his rationale for travelling, for keeping that routine, for putting up with the travails for 8 long years. I did not understand his tiredness on the days he travelled. I was busy being a 'child'.

Perspective is a strange thing isn't it. It takes weird forms to come around, and being in the same shoes as papa drove the reality home. The wish to travel back home to be surrounded by my family. The wish to not mind the journey. 

0420 - woke up before the alarm. In super stealth mode, I was all attired for my first work day after 402 days ( technically that is how long I had been away. No I did not actually count it - a colleague noticed the status on the internal messenger :P ) At 0500 - Chiyaa was up. She asked for milk. Actually it is an indication of her being thirsty. But K being the totally hands off parent emerged to get the milk from the kitchen. Now proper practitioners of "how to handle Chiyaa " would know that we are starting a vicious cycle there. Start we did. She had the milk, then asked for mummy, would not get pacified if K slept near her, starting kicking him, he started to raise his voice, Amma came in as Family Peace Keeping Force but to no avail and the "big one" started bawling which in turn led to the "little one " waking up and staring bleary eyed before starting to cry. All this before I had stepped out of the house. I cuddled Chiyaa and asked her if she wants the tab. The tab is a miracle medicine! Of course she wanted the tab. She got up, smiled and started playing. I went with strict instructions to take it away from her after an hour. I am a bit of a screen time nazi. 

I had booked a cab, checked the platform and awaited the train. Smooth enough transition the station where I had to board the one to Leeds. I was a bit nervous in the second leg of the journey. I am not sure why. There was nothing to be. I was chatting with a colleague who has been a long timer and had returned from her third maternity break last May. She resssured me that nothing would have changed. 

Reached work and my access card didn't work. Well that is change :) My new manager walked me up to our place. Another change. Uh well - the place was scattered with people. Many had not returned from their Christmas vacation yet. Met a few folks and soon enough my laptop died. Yes. Things tend to go awry after 402 days of rest. And so did a lot of permissions and accesses. The day zipped past as I reinstated myself. And in no time it was 1700 when I had to dash out. 

As I stood in the station, I could not help but wonder, how much I loved Leeds. How strongly I felt a connection with the place. But I could not wait to get out of Leeds. Take the train and make that journey to reach sleepy Ipswich . 

I reached my sleepy town which I called home. But my home was not asleep even though the clock showed 2140. Chiyaa was upset about something else and the Pumpki was complaining about another thing. As soon as I entered home, I had time to dump my handbag and laptop bag and get on with pacifying the divas. Amma and K were at their wits end, themselves having had a long day with the demanding kids. Slowly they calmed down and drifted off to sleep around 2230. When I hit the bed at 2315 ish, the next morning 0420 alarm was not something I was looking forward to :(

Comments

Shallu Goyal said…
this routine is for 2 days a week or daily?? Kudos to you dearie!!
Amrita said…
Oh no no not daily at all! Itni jaan nehi hai in budhi haddiyon main 😀 on a need to do basis.
Like I had to travel 2 days later. And have to next week

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