Wishing you a hopeful new year

 As the year draws to a close today I mostly think of it as a wasteful year. Through out the world there were wasteful wars where thousands of lives were lost for no good reason. We came so close to peace so many times but there wasn't anything decisive. There were numerous air accidents involving civilian and military aircrafts. Each time it made me feel awful for the parties involved. It was such a sad waste of life. They scarred me so much that I nearly had a morbid fear of flying - for myself as well as of anytime anyone from my family travelled. Luckily we made our journeys in safety and I pray the skies are safe for everyone. 

I went through a redundancy cycle. I have 4 close friends. Each one of us went through a redundancy cycle in their respective jobs. Everyone ended up having a different outcome. But it was tenure of stress and unwanted friction in  our lives which I felt  was unnecessary and wasteful. We all believe we have come out stronger, more fulfilled and better off on the other side. And there is perhaps only one way to get from one point to another, to get from one job to another.

My sister battled health issues for close to 4 months because of a misdiagnosed condition which was such a strain mentally and physically.

As a family I felt we lost quite a bit of money. Some were for random reasons like a bad purchase here or being overcharged for a home improvement there. But the worst was being charged a fine of £100 for overstaying  a parking by 35 seconds. It was just the most outrageous and horrible of them all.

But it was not all gloom and doom. Chiyaa turned 13 and we made a  trip to Norway. It was a surreal and out of the world experience. It was the stuff of dreams to be in the culturally thriving city of Oslo and then make our way into the Arctic circle and be in Tromsø. The holiday planner in me loved the planning and execution of the whole trip.

In May my parents came over. We celebrated their stay assuming it to be the last time they would be in the UK. We planned a trip to Canterbury which for me was lovely and rare one. Once they went back we settled into the usual routine. I was in my new job with a new projects and I loved every bit of it. It was the most fulfilling work experience in a long long time.

The project winded down and I am on my next long term project. I think I feel settled there too. There hasn't been a dull moment at my new work place. And thankfully in December we had a quick holiday to Berlin when we built a number of amazing wonderful memories.

We have looked after a lot of puppies and gained so much experience. We have read so many books and I love how the girls are hooked as readers. We have laughed and cried and grown and lived. 

In the coming year I hope to grow roots and stabilise in life, work and relationships. I hope we all recover from whatever scars we have been dealt this year. I hope for peace, stability and enriching experiences for everyone. Wishing anyone coming by a very happy new year!

Each one a new experience

 We look after guide dogs when their primary raisers are away for whatever reason. We had the opportunity to look after 2 in close succession.

One was tiny Cocoa who was only 12 weeks old. She was the youngest puppy we had handled. We did not have a great experience with Lucky so we thought it would be our attempt at redemption with another little female dog. She was a tiny little piece of joy, chaos and fun. She came into our house on a very cold and eventually rainy day. She was a bit out of place initially and had a few accidents around. But once the girls came back from school she was much better settled. She played with the girls like crazy. Since she was in that stage where she can be a could bite a bit, we chose to dress in thicket clothing. We were not complaining given the temperatures of this glorious island 😑

She was an early riser, and of course we had to be up with her. The girls could sleep if they wanted, but who would want to miss a turn with the lovely pup? So we would all be up around 7 even on a weekend and be with her. She was a silly goose, playing around with slippers and her toys. She would tire quite easily and then take a long nap. This was our turn to play card games and the like. I really love how looking after a puppy no matter for how long a duration forces us to spend time together as a family. Be it just sitting around the pup playing card games, watching some show or going for a walk. It is a really uplifting bonding exercise.

Once Cocoa went back, we were due to be looking after Scamp the Champ. Now Scamp is a pure golden retriever. He is just awesome. He is a majestic dog with a lot of sass and energy. He has such a big personality. We were excited to look after him. It was amazing to notice the changes in him as he has grown. Earlier he was quite an aloof dog. But this time we found him so well bonded with us. He would wave the kids goodbye when they left for school and would come to the window to keep looking at them. He would also greet us with such enthusiasm when we came back. Sadly most of the days with him were quite rain filled as well. Though he surely had the stamina to go on much longer walks, we were heavily restricted. We had to resort to shorter walks but that didnt take away the spurts of football in the garden. Again the times he forced us to hang out in the garden or sit around the dinner table fooling around with him was such an enriching time. We can only thank this lovely dog for the experience. He goes back tomorrow. After that we will surely feel the pang. But hopefully there will be many more tiny ones to amaze us next year. 

The Office

I am a self proclaimed "not a TV viewer". It gets to be a struggle to watch stuff with the kids. They are at a funny age, with Chiyaa being a teenager and capable of watching young adult shows and Pumpki not so much. But we have the one TV. There needs to be a consensus. All need to watch the same thing - sometimes at least :) We have days where we search for stuff to watch. Over the summer, we searched and searched and for the lack of anything better, we started The Office.

I am aware of the legendary status this show has. I had watched a few episodes of The English Office when we had moved to the UK initially. But I never got the time to watch it continuously. But this summer, I started watching it and Chiyaa just came and sat beside me. She found it jarring, unreal and eventually funny. I agree there are some adult themes in there, and it is not suitable for young kids, but Pumpki used to hover around when Chiyaa and I were watching and she got roped in as well. K was not comfortable with her watching it and there were some episodes where we did them on the sly ;) 

The series I must say lived up to its hype. First and foremost its irreverent. We cant see it through the new 'woke tinted' glasses. Characters are unapologetic, characters are crass, characters are funny. The actors have such immense comedic timing that it just blew my mind. Each and every member of the crew had amazing timing. There are a few characters such as Creed, Meredith and Toby which just had us in splits as soon as the camera panned towards them. The main characters played by Steve Carrell, Jenna Fischer, John Krasinski, Ed Helms and Rainn Wilson are just stellar. They are awesome actors with such range. There are scenes where they go from goofing around to being remorseful, they go from being casual to really emotional and it just takes the audience through the roller coaster within a span of 2 to 3 minutes. The character arcs of the main leads is amazing too. Its like water cutting through stone, nothing happens on a day to day basis but one still sees so much happening over the years. As a viewer I was annoyed with some developments and over joyed with others. There is some real clever writing there which manages to stitch together the stories across 9 seasons with approximately 20 episodes each. 

The penultimate season is a bit boring. Too many characters seem to be drawn in to make a heady mix, but it seems a bit slipshod. But then the show comes back with a bang in the last season. It has more of a 'romance' angle instead of 'fun' but I think that's what the viewers were waiting for. Closure for some of the characters who felt like family.

Watch this for some amazing writing and excellent comedy. It is pure gold. And I am glad I could watch it with my little girls! May the legacy of The Office continue :) 

The loop

 And just like that, a month has passed since my parents travelled back to India. Saying goodbye this time was super hard, but strangely the recovery wasn't too bad. I think earlier they were so active and so all over the place, helping in this, doing that, going for walks, playing with the kids, that their presence seemed to be everywhere. But this time I found them a bit more sedate. Yes, they were ever eager to do things, full of ideas for changes and willing to go out anywhere. But the tiredness of age was there as well. The preference to be at a certain place, the intention of conserving energy, the thrill of being looked after was what they sought as well. It was really sweet in a way to have this turn of events from their side, because both of them are ever buzzing without a moment's rest.

The autumn half term is the longest. It just seems to go on for ever. This time that seemed different too. It was 8 weeks long, but to be honest, did not seem so at all. Both girls were super engaged in one club or the other. There were events in school and I was personally  a lot busier at work. Work was new, super challenging, interesting and in large volumes. Most days I did have to end up working after the girls are home. Thank God they had their hobbies of gaming and books to keep them engaged. This was the first time in a long time that I did not feel the pain of a super long term. When Pumpki said, we just finished 8 weeks of school, it was sheer news to me!

We are tied in the cycle of half terms and school activities. Some years ago what seemed limiting and restrictive now seems like a blessing. It is in fact a blessing to be able to have those days of rest during the half term holidays. It is refreshing to not wake up to an alarm clock. Those few extra minutes of sleep add so much to the day. It is a different cadence to relax with the girls as it is to end up in a frenzy with them. As it is a different cadence with my parents, a gentleness, a slowly down. Life is so close to clockwork.

Maybe the end of a chapter?

 My parents start back to India tomorrow. It seems like the end of a chapter. Papa is 75 years old and is not too keen on making any more trips to the UK. The journey is too much of a toll on him. It feels especially heavy that tomorrow might be the last day they are in the UK. It all started way back in 2010 when K and I were seriously on a temporary basis here. We were so keen that everyone come and visit the beautiful country that we initiated visas for everyone and had them over for a few weeks to go through the main highlights of the country. 

One thing led to another and we had Chiyaa. Mummy was here to spend some glorious time with her when Chiyaa was a toddler. Papa was quite active then and could not do away with his engagements at home. He came over for shorter stints of 3 weeks when we visited Northern Ireland, places a bit further afield and had an amazing time. After Chiyaa it was time for Pumpki. Mummy who couldn't make it for  my first pregnancy because of visa issues, came over as soon as we needed her. She was a stellar companion for Chiyaa, was a fabulous granny for Pumpki and the solid support for me. Things did go a bit topsy turvy and K was transferred to Ipswich. We all made the shift because Mummy made everything seem so easy. Pumpki was flourishing in Ipswich and we were on the verge of getting our own house, when things took a turn for the worse. K had to quit his job to look for his next assignment in the UK. Mummy came over again once Amma had gone back to give us some respite. Since our tenure wasn't certain, we didn't want Pumpki to get enrolled in a day-care yet. K continued his job hunt and like a salmon coming back to where it is born we drifted back to Leeds. Mummy again made this second move seem seamless and effortless. 

Leeds was where we grew our roots. We got a house in 2018 and of course we had Papa Mummy come over and enjoy our new place. It was lovely to have them finally for longer durations since Papa had given up many of his long term engagements. Over the 7 years he was weakened as well and needed the companionship  of Mummy to travel. For me it was a bit of a win since I could enjoy his company for longer durations. We explored a few more places, ate at a few more joints and generally enjoyed each others company alongside our little kids. 

Papa wanted to make another trip the following year to perhaps celebrate the birthday of Chiyaa, Pumpki and myself since we are all winter babies. Winter is not the best time to come to the UK, but he is the kind of man who has some milestones and some self made aspirations. I was not going to complain :) Once they  reached in 2019, mummy  fell quite ill. It was the first time I felt the vulnerability of their age. It made me come face to face with the fact that they were loosing their strength - both mentally and physically. It made me aware of the changing times. But God had a different set of plans that year. 2019 was the year of the Covid and 2020 was the year of the lockdown. We had pencilled in  London and a bunch of other places. But we ended up being at home, taking many many walks, baking, cooking, playing, crafting and have a splendid 9 months! Papa had plans to celebrate 3 birthdays but we ended up celebrating every single birthday! During the birthday celebrations I kept thinking this was  perhaps the last time we were  all together cutting cakes and gorging on it because given our geographical distances, it wouldn't be easily feasible. I remember the evening prior to their departure back to India, I went on a walk with Mummy. She was looking around at the gardens and mentioned, "not sure if I can ever come back again and see all this" I replied, "Never say never Mummy, you never know :) "

As luck would have it, in 2 years' time my sister made her way to Leeds as well. It was an added incentive for my parents to come over here. They made the trips, we spent time as an entire unit - again something I never ever imagined would come true. It was literally God's grace and His awesome blessing that I got to spend such valuable time with my parents. Again there were trips, there was food and there were birthday celebrations. What started with just the highlights of UK in 2010 extended to way beyond the borders of UK by 2024. I did miss them when they stayed at my sister's place and I did wish we could literally be together all the time. But then one cant have it all.

This year 2025 has been their third consecutive annual trip to the UK. I must say this tenure has been the best. We have watched some scintillating cricket with the England vs India test series, the Asia cup or the IPLs. And maybe gotten the kids hooked to the game. We have played a lot of card games with the kids. It was a lovely time spent in a lot of warmth and love.

 I have taken the longest duration this time to reconcile to their return. As someone who has stayed away from home since I was 18 I am quite used to arrivals and departures. I miss people a lot, but then I move on. But this time around, the distance seems too much. We have come so far over the past 15 years. I have seen them slowly become reliant on us. I have seen them become even more adjustive though their body yearns for status quo. I know they have their lives back in India, it is much harder and much busier. The urge to look after them, to pamper them, to give them all the conveniences is very strong. I will be a wreck tomorrow. I will have my duties and chores, but the emotion of missing my parent will be with me for a long time. I know never say never, and the eternal optimist in me is sure they will come again and again. 

Sometimes its wrong

 Sometimes it's wrong

To be strong

To be someone who has it all together

For whom nothing can ruffle their feather 

Because these strong people also have cares

Worries, insecurities and fears

A wish for a shoulder to cry on 

The need for company when they feel alone

Someone to ask if everything is fine

Someone to assure after rain there will be shine 

Something new

 A lot changes tomorrow. My routine life which involved nothing much 😂 My holiday cadence. My lazy mornings and lazier afternoons sometimes littered with a siesta. My evenings were filled with tea and chit chats with family, lots of art and craft and card games. During the spectacular test series season it was high energy and high adrenaline match viewing along with some firey discussion with papa and my sister in post match. I watched a lot of movies in the theatre with the kids which was a novel and enjoyable experience. All 7 of us managed to make a vacation to scenic sea side in south of England. My mind was full in family mode basking in the tremendous love of my parents, my sibling, my kids and K of course. There was not a single iota of energy spent in work related thoughts. The laptop was turned off and kept away.

On 15th I went to the work place to give my laptop and access card back. It always feels strange doing it. There is some attachment to those inanimate objects that were part of your identity for however long. But it was all done in 5 minutes flat and there were no feelings attached. 

That door closed I look forward to starting my new job tomorrow. I know the company.  I have known this place and it has been a dream place since 2018. I couldn't make it then, this is my second chance. I know the work culture since K works there. It will be new but there is a degree of familiarity as well. I cross my fingers to the new beginning.