Silver linnigs

 After the news was dealt there was a flurry of activity in our organisation. People started posting questions. People started putting forth openings that they came across. People started really helping each other. There was such wonderful camaraderie amongst all those who had been impacted by the news. There was also immense support online on various forums, especially LinkedIn. That annoying site for once was filled with genuine concern from ex-employees who were reaching out to people at risk. Since the organisation is quite big, the news was quite widespread. I had friends and ex-colleagues who were sharing links of openings or taking my resume for referral. It was so heart warming to witness this overflow of good will.

I started receiving calls from recruiters and companies since I had pretty much carpet bombed my resume. I had interviews lined up for the next week, for all the days. It made me feel really optimistic that all this would turn out for the good. There definitely was light at the end of this tunnel. 

Day 3 post impact

 The next day was a bit funny. We resumed our normal ceremonies at work which includes the morning status call. Most of the people who had been impacted sounded as if they had cried through the night. Our manager who was "safe" went through the motions as normal. He was totally tone deaf and went on through all the updates if 50% of his team wasnt at the risk of redundancy. I felt totally disengaged from everything. It was not something I was ok with. I had been through redundancy cycle in another organization. It is something that happens, there is no lie in it. But the way it was being dealt out in my current place seemed very inhumane. There was just a 30 minutes call to tell nearly 500 people who belonged to our location, that your job is not longer relevant as of December. It was a news being dealt to a large number of people in one fell swoop, where people were being treated as mere numbers. I was definitely not ok with it. So I was totally disconnected from what ever was happening. 

I had received an email the previous evening scheduling an initial conversation with another organization. I was quite excited for it. In the past 3 years here, I had been casually looking at roles. But I was very casual about. I applied to a role that looked good enough, not reading too much. I was of course not receiving much calls. So I was under the impression that the market was not looking good at all, and it would be super hard to secure a role. So when I got a call from a company for an initial conversation it gave me hope. At least my dear resume had landed on someone's desk and they approved of it and had decided to give me a call. The meeting was in the afternoon, and since I was finding it hard to concentrate on anything, I decided to take a long walk. 

It was nice and relaxing to go on the walk in the lovely cloudy weather, listening to an audio book. There are small joys even if everything seems gloom and doom. I came back from the walk and got on with the meeting. The conversation was very informal and she confirmed that I would be put forth for the next round. It boosted my confidence immensely. It gave me a positivity and something to look forward to. There was a certain joy in actively preparing for another role and not being pestered to do ones day job. 

Evening I started preparing technical interviews. I also started looking for companies and applying to them directly. It was hard work, but there was an element of single minded focus. I had to forge ahead. I had to move on.  

It sinks in

 Day 2 at work was a flurry. There were back to back calls giving more details regarding the rationale of the move, the next steps and the way forward. There were channels created at work which were abuzz with rants, suggestions, advice and everything in between. While all this was going on I had my personal way of dealing with it. Taking the logical step, I started applying earnestly. I went through various options, started looking at linked in and started applying with which ever role looked suitable.

I asked all I knew to refer me to any openings that came forward. It seemed like hell had broken loose. It was a very scary scenario to be in. K and I started looking at finances and when funds would start to run dry in case I did not end up with a job. I technically have till end of this year in my current organisation with a probably decent payout since I was being made redundant. I did not want to rest on my laurels though. I decided that for my career it would be way more beneficial if I moved on and started working at a new place, learning new things. The environment at work was pretty dry and listless as well. No one in the team seemed to have any enthusiasm to work. Everyone was mulling over their scenario. K and I went to the gym during lunch to take our minds off the impending worries. Once back, since there was nothing tangible for me to progress I took it slow. I did not even bother to keep the laptop on. Seeing me move around from room to room aimlessly, K hovered around to give assurance. I joked "I am loosing my job, you better keep working to retain yours" To which K replied, "Trust me I do not envy you at all".

Once it was time for the kids to return, life kicked in as usual. It was awesome to have them chatter about their day and fill the house with their random banter. It really kicked in some life in the house. In the evening I received a call from a consultant who said he was recruiting for a role. And small world, the hiring manager was someone I had worked with before. It was a dazzling ray of hope to hear those words and I put forth my application in the speed of light. The day had started pretty murky with the office calls painting our careers in darkness but then it had taken a positive turn by the evening. 

To take a negative turn again!! At night when I tried to get on to LinkedIn, I was blocked. It was as if my world had come crashing down! How was I to function, how was I to apply for roles, what was going to happen! It seemed like the absolute end of the world. And again the water works started. K tried his best to console me. We did the necessary steps recommended to verify me. He raised a support ticket since only a logged in person can raise it! It was a bit manic. But then there is only so much one can at 0030 hours. There was a normal school day coming up and I decided to cry myself to bed :|

The news

 The past week has been tumultuous to say the least. Out of the blue on Tuesday morning there was an invite to a call at 11 at work. There was some speculation about what the call might be about, but there was a general undercurrent that there would be some bad news. We geared up and joined in the call and as expected the news wasnt good. All who had been invited to the call were "at risk". This means by the end of the year there was a chance that a good number of us would not be having a job at the current organisation. 

I am not in love with the job. But, I do it with full diligence and with utmost sincerity. Thats how I have functioned over the last 21 years. I have been through probable redundancy cycle in previous organisations. But this news, the way it was merely read out and for me personally the unexpetedness of it, took me by a total surprise. I started crying. Literally big blobs of tears started flowing and I was in shell shock. The first stage is denial when faced with anything new isnt it. 

After I had composed myself a bit, I got on with the usual task of having lunch. K and I went on a long walk to take our minds off it. Then of course I had to speak to my parents and my sister. My parents were super supportive. There was not an iota of worry or anxiety from them. My sister went straight to the second stage and got angry :D She was really disappointed with the shoddy treatment of our company. On hindsight there are some things that only happen to others isnt it. We dont think they will ever happen to us :) till they do :)

After some conversation, there was time to take action. Got my resume prepped up. I did not have a linkedin account and that is the place to be if someone is looking for jobs. So got that sorted. (Further details on that later) Told everyone I could that my job was under jeopardy and to keep an eye for anything that might come their way. 

Once the kids came in, I had to break the news to them. I told it with as much indifference as I could muster. My exact words were "Mummy will be loosing her job so please do the tasks I ask you to do when I do. Dont make me repeat stuff because that might make me very cross and then we will all be cross with each other" The girls were a bit shocked. But then they kept any questions they might have under wraps and got on with the task of getting ready for bed.

Kids wrapped up, I again felt the weightlessness of the whole scenario. It was a daunting world. There were so many thoughts in my head. I could go on to my dream career of being a teacher, I could try something new, I would get a better option or worse still I could end up being jobless. There were so many ifs and buts and my 2 page CV swimming in the big bad world. 

PS. I am writing this in real time. So I will be posting updates as and when they happen. *fingers crossed* the posts will end up with something positive 

The road trip - for real

 We had never done a road trip. As in we have driven to destinations in a car and spent some time, but Edinburgh was like 4.5 hours away. Pumpki has extreme car sickness, so we have always constricted our journeys to within 2 hours so that she doesn’t get too uncomfortable. We also tend to avoid windy  roads. The drive to Scotland would involve everything - a long journey, lots of hilly roads and sitting in a car. But Pumpki is 9 now, and we hoped she would be able to handle most of it. The biggest advantage of driving was that there was no time constraint to start to catch a mode of transport and boy was that a big sell for Pumpki since she hates waking up on time to catch a train or a flight. We could also pack our stuff all willy nilly, dump coats, carry extra shoes - the world was literally our oyster :D :D

It was immense fun driving through the lovely sunny weather. We took frequent breaks, swapped the driving between ourselves, snacked and the kids dozed a bit too. We started with lovely weather in jolly ol England and ended up with downpour in bonnie Scotland. The irony! Anyways, we can’t be slaves to the weather right? So we geared up to take charge of the trip anyways. The evening we reached, we visited my dear friend J. It was just so lovely to give her a cuddle and see her 2 darling daughters. My kids and hers bonded like they had known each other for a long time. Her eldest even came and mentioned that our family was so like theirs. Even J said to me that she had been telling her kids that we are the most similar family to theirs that could be :)

After some refreshments we headed off to the beach which was a 20mins walk from their house. We girls walked, we chatted and the husbands caught up. It was like we started off from where we had left in Ipswich. We went to a small park and J mentioned how we used to chat in Ipswich in the evenings in the park. It all seemed like yesterday quite literally. Time flew in hearty conversations and as we bid goodbye after 4 hours it seemed the most satisfying 4 hours ever. The next day we had plans to visit the Scottish highlands. But we still had one more day that we could potentially spend with each other. There were no concrete plans, but we finished day 1 with promises to meet again :) 

A road trip plan

 Its been a while since I posted on what happened the week after :) So here goes :) 

I made a friend during our stay in Ipswich. She was the wife of one of K’s colleagues. We used to bump into each other when she used to return from work and I would be in the local park with my little ones (I was on maternity leave then ) The casual hi, how are you, nice weather encounters led to more conversations. We realised we both intermittently used the same gym ;) We tried to motivate each other to go for the same classes. Some more casual conversations ensued. She was a nice cool person to hang out with and we enjoyed each other’s company.

Then life happened. We moved back to Leeds. We still kept in touch with the usual hi, what’s ups. They moved to Edinburgh and things moved in parallel non convergent paths for both our families. She ended up having her second child and a 2 daughters family like ours. We bought our first homes. We changed jobs. A lot seemed in sync happening in different planes. We kept in touch, discussing more than the weather. We discussed kids, husbands, jobs and gradually maybe everything under the sun. 

So this year she turns 40. I wanted to make a special gesture, just because. I couldn’t think of a good gift to give her. That’s when I had a light bulb moment! How about gracing her with my company :P I know not a lot of people would think of that as a gift ;) but I was kind of sure that she would appreciate it. I proposed it to K and he was surprisingly convinced that it was a good idea. Thus the  plan of a trip to Edinburgh took roots.

Scamp the champ!

 It was a lovely sunny Friday afternoon. We had some renovation work going on in our house. Our puppy development advisor came over with Scamp. Scamp was tiny for his age. And he was just so ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE. He was an awesome bundle of energy with an amazing personality of his own. He was playful, very naughty digging holes all around the garden. He started grabbing things from the house like slippers, shoes, socks, hats - whatever he could lay his paws on and take it outside. 

Since he was a small puppy he didn't need long walks. A good playtime in the garden was pretty much enough for him. But boy he could play! There were so many games that he could be a part of. Tug of war, chase, football and so many more. That puppy was a bundle of energy. 

He also had this silly fascination for my slippers. He would do anything to get them, even bite my ankle. Thats what he did many times with his tiny puppy teeth 🙂 He was such a sassy personality. He would look at us eating and have the eyes full of expectation. But he wasnt a beggar. He would look at us with those proud eyes to make us give him something. If we didn't he would walk off and chill in the garden. 

He also had this amazing habit of basking in the sun which made us feel he was even human 😂Everytime  he used to wake up from his nap he used to come to a spot on the garden which had a lot of sun. He would be super groggy and sometimes go back to sleep in the sun or rouse himself up. He had his naughty witching hour as well in the evening when he would try to bite everything and everyone. It wasnt meant out of aggression or anxiety, it seems it is a think that puppies do when they are that young. Perhaps something akin to babies having colic when they are around the 4 month mark. 

It was a lot of fun having him around for a little over a week. It kept us fully occupied and very joyfully occupied. When it was time to bid him goodbye it was quite tearful and sad. But then we had the next week to look forward to!