Newbie's experiences

Been 7 and a half years since I left home. Since then have been a hostel boarder or put up in apartments with friends.
I moved to Chennai to be with my husband and family. I have not got that solid family feeling. But thats what is technically correct I believe.
Its not a major change. I know the people. I know the person I am married to. They are a pretty chilled out gang. No overt restrictions.

But still then I feel like a guest. I feel a bit hesitant calling over a friend to stay at my place, because I myself don't have the settled feeling yet.

And all the while that I am having at idyllic time at home (I am yet to join my new office) I keep getting seconds thoughts. I keep wondering is it too early to get into family mode? Did I hurry into the decision of getting back to family? I was blissfully with out any responsibility and having fun with friends. I could have continued having those times still. But when I ask any one they say, whats the point in delaying the ultimate? You have to be with them finally, whats the point in delaying the obvious?
Another thought that saddens me is the memory of my room mates and my friends in Hyderabad. I have a knack of keeping people around me busy. I will pull them for chatting, for shopping, for a movie or some activity or the other. I am also some one who is most of the time game for accompanying a person on an errand or a trip to some place. Before I left Hyderabad, my flat mates told me they will miss me a lot. And after coming here I keep thinking what they might be upto. I imagine my roomie having breakfast alone, usually we had it together no matter what. I shared a special bond with her. One with out words. One of unsaid emotions. We just understood each other. We were very comfortable in each others company. I don t remember a single instance when I was irritated, pissed off or angry at her. It was a smooth relationship with no one explicitly singing the other s praise. And now shes missing me a lot. Yesterday when she called and said it felt weird to be coming back to a room with out me. And she said, our relationship was so much one to one that may be no one else would understand. Yes roomie dear no one would understand.

Am still slowly transitioning into a new life. I feel as if I am going to an unknown destination.

Will miss you...

This is the last post from this lovely city .
Every time I think about leaving Hyderabad in a few days I get the shivers. And today morning the feeling was especially strong. I some how did not want to go away from here.
But some things should be done and there is no option.
But before I move this post goes out to all the wonderful people who made my stay all the more pleasing, fulfilling and enriching.

Sw :- My old room mate from Calcutta and close friend, never thought I would get a chance to meet her up for such a long time. But then, some things are destined. She has been the companion for innumerable shop-capades and general loitering around the city. Being well versed in the ins and outs of the city, shes been lovely company through and through. On top of that, shes been a counselor in times of need. A true friend whom I call hunny.

Sh :- Roomie dear. Fellow Sagi. Awesome company for any fun filled activity. Agony aunt in case you need solace. Companion for the morning walks. Some one whom I had an instant connection with.

Su :- First friend at my current firm. Little did I know this nonchalant guy sitting next to me during the initial induction sessions would turn out to be a close friend in a such a short period of time. He has always been there as a concerned friend in the office full of colleagues.

H :- Lunch mate with a child like disposition. Shes a kid at heart who has been crest fallen ever since I took the leave for my wedding. Shes reiterated it n+1 number of times that she is going to miss me like hell.

A :- My flat mate. Incessant talker. Can go on and on talking that I have to tell her to keep quiet and go to sleep please. Yesterday also it was till late night that we were chatting with each other till pretty late at night. Argumentative to the core I have had some rather entertaining sessions with her.

G :- G the dino. Friend of K who in turn became a good friend of mine. We have a silent competition as to who comes first in wishing the other over Gtalk. May be the first geek with whom I don t mind having coffee with :D

Ne/J/M :- Partners in crime when it comes to jumping over the tracks to catch the train from office. Ne is the silent devil. From the outside no one can fathom his mischievous self. But talk to him and mischief drips from his seemingly innocuous jokes and satires. J is the Josh machine, another non stop talker who beats A hands down when it comes to talking. M is the on track queen who has a never give up attitude when it comes to chasing the trains.

P :- My mentee from the the school where I go for the mentorship program from my firm every Saturday. I am going to miss her a lot.

Ma :- Silent sensitive guy from the mentorship program who used to drop me off from the school at home. Always full of nice practical suggestions and a person with whom its very easy to converse. Somehow seems a store house of practical information to me.

Ni :- The lead of the mentorship program. Eternal nag. Very persistent. And a person committed to the core.

All these wonderful people and many many more made my stay here brilliant. I guess God wanted this stay to be short and sweet. As I get jitters about my new life in Chennai, I hope I meet you people soon and keep bumping into you all again and again. And also that I get such wonderful people in future too.

Knot to be

I am writing this post on behalf of a very lazy friend of mine whose out groom hunting :)

Shes my alter ego and we often have this tag between us that we don t need to talk cos our thoughts are just mirror images :)

Now her parents are looking for alliances and after every session with a prospective groom she is sure to have a session with me, discussing what were the good, bad, ugly, immaterial aspects of the person whom she met.

She expects some one who would have all her good traits and negate all her bad ones (Perfect is boring but who would not want to have a try at some one perfect ) So she wants some one who reads, is intellectual at the same time game for a dash of fun once in a while, a sport when it comes to outdoor as well as indoor activities, not lazy, is frank, superior to her in terms of educational qualification and monthly income,etc etc.. Apart from these tangibles, she also wants some one with whom she feels an instant connection, feels mutual respect, some one who has a nice personality, some one who would support her in her future ambitions, some one who would encompass her and make her comfortable in his own circle while also allowing her room to continue all her old relations and friendships, and some more qualities which I am not able to recollect now. I know her wish list is pretty long, but being a girl, who has to leave so much and consign herself to an utter stranger, it out right SCARY.

When I was deciding upon the point whether K was the right person for me or not, I had innumerable sessions with her and another friend of mine discussing, debating, analyzing. There were more loose ends and question marks initially. But slowly there were a few but pressing reasons for me to go ahead with the alliance. I wish I remembered the deliberations that went on then. But now as I help my friend analyze the people she meets I feel scared and tensed and really worried for her. Every time she goes to meet some one I nearly pray that may she make the correct choice, may she get the nuances of the person's behavior. But just how much can you grasp in one meeting? :-S

The other day while talking she said, "I know with what reasons you can reject a person but what do people see that makes them say yes." I had no answer to that. Then she went on to say"How are you doing Amu?" I was like what kind of question is that? She said , "No dear, you are so mature. (She always feels I am mature :| ) You can handle a lot of things. But you are also a jovial fun loving person who does not like any strings attached? How are doing? How is marriage treating you? Don t you ever feel burdened? Tied down?" I did not want to answer her with the fears I have of leaving my old life. Of leaving the smooth circle of friends I have now.

Then she continued "Really I am not sure I can live with one person all the life" I was surprised at this. She comes from a pretty traditional family where some things are not questioned. Shes a thorough romantic at heart and she having doubts about living with one person brought me face to face with the fact how freaking nervous she was. She said, "I have seen people being happy when their alliances are being fixed. Why am I not feeling so? Wish I never questioned anything and went ahead with any alliance my parents got for me." I said," See dear, we are intelligent enough and free enough to questions some things. And I am sure our parents are proud of this fact. They will be sadder if we compromise and settle down thinking we are troubling them rather than speaking our mind. So please tell whatever you feel about the person to your parents and take a judicious decision."

I don t even know if I am guiding her on the right path. I just speak as I feel, what I feel at that point of time.

She s close to getting an alliance fixed. Hope things work fine for you dear friend. And as we say, marriages happen with the person with whom its supposed to happen. I just hope that person is the rightest for you dear, a real good friend and who loves you to pieces. Amen.