One chocolate

Mummy started back to India on Saturday. To be honest, it was not that nerve rattling this time. Maybe because I am getting used to it. Maybe because she was leaving me in a much better state this time – a bit more settled, with the kids adjusting as well as they can to daily life. Maybe because it is inevitable, parents can only stay so long. I was sad – of course – I was sad. But it was just the sadness of missing her, the sadness of her absence. It was the not the devastating sadness I have felt at other times which makes me feel clueless and lost.

But one thing had not changed, there was too much to do now. Mummy still takes over so many tasks that the feeling of doing them all by ourselves is quite overwhelming. We decided to skip swimming class for kids on Saturday morning since the lunch and dinner preps were daunting me. The kids got busy with K and minded their own stuff. We went on a trip to the city centre.  Going through the places where mom and I used to roam around made me feel the pang of nostalgia. But then… My sis was keeping me constant company and she was like a pillar of support. So concerned! She is seriously so grown up! Saturday passed relatively uneventfully.

I hoped the next day would be better because sleep does cure a lot of things for me J It was a sunny day while Saturday had been cloudy and outright depressing – so one sleep did sort out something there J But there was again the rigours of keeping the house in order – the cleaning, the clothes, the ironing.  Pumpki had a birthday party to attend. We divided and conquered. K went with Pumpki while I convinced Chiyaa to come along with me for a walk. She grudgingly agreed – which 7 year old wants to go on walks *rolls eyes* Since I was pre-occupied with the tasks for the day, I did not manage to get much done for coming week in terms of cooking etc. We decided that we would concentrate on the kids this week and keep cooking for adults to a bare minimum. Seemed like a good plan till we got the rhythm.

So yesterday was the first work day sans mummy. Anything could happen! I had set the alarm for 0540 – one never knows how much buffer time one might need and the more the merrier. Mondays I don’t face much of an issue waking up since I am rested over the weekend. I woke up, got my stuff done, cooked the fish and rice for kids and was ready way ahead of schedule. Chiyaa also woke up on time and was a very peaceful baby. I left them at 0725 with K geared up to handle it all. He has been tremendous. He has been cool. I noticed over the weekend that though he would have loved to watch tv or read up about the tech being used in his latest project, he was trying his best to be with the kids. Come Monday morning, he was quite chilled about handling the kids. Kids are white bodies when it comes to vibes – they will reflect the vibe that is being  projected to them. Fear, optimism, nervousness – you name it, they will push it back to you. K was being positive and chilled out and so were the kids with him.

In a mega role reversal I was being high strung. So. I finished work a bit early ( I had started work a bit early). I picked Pumpki first, then I picked Chiyaa. My route is something like this.

I wanted the kids to have some food on the way. Since mummy was around, she was my backup. If the kids didn’t like the snack, she would prep an alternative in a jiffy. I planned to utilise the distance to get some stuff in their tummies so that they would nt be cranky. And I decided to stuff it with something healthy and something they like – there might be 3-4 food items which would come in this category. Cucumbers are one of them. My girls love cucumbers, also its filling and a good thing to have. So I packed cucumbers. They had a few. I could not keep them on a sugar deficit either (kids can get crazy when blood sugar levels are down!) . So I gave them both a small chocolate once the cucumbers were done.

We reached home. No crying till now! So far so good! There was a mild skirmish when they got on each other’s nerves, but I managed to handle it. K also came in early (ah! Backup!!!!) Soon after the week’s grocery got delivered too. K in a major bout of magnanimity gave Chiyaa a chocolate – one that was meant to be a treat, one that was supposed to be hidden from her, one that was not supposed to be given to her since she was yet to have her dinner.

I erupted. “Why did you give her the chocolate” I howled. Like a mad person I tried to hide a few as if Chiyaa would not be able to see my futile attempts (seems so laughable now, imagine me hiding chocs from a kid in front of her, and trying to do so quickly but that attempted haste making the process slower. Comical is nt it!)

K responded “ She saw it and she asked for it. “ (this is know as a lie because I saw him offer the choc. We agree to disagree on this point)

“Good now she is not going to eat any dinner. All this while I have been trying to keep her away from junk food so that she has something healthy for dinner”

“Why are you shouting, its just one chocolate. She will have her dinner when she needs to “

At this moment Pumpki walks in and asks for a chocolate. I have to give her *rolls eyes again*

“Now little one has also had a chocolate, she wont eat dinner either, she will be hungry through the night and will keep asking for milk. And I have to keep waking up to fill her bottle”

“Just one chocolate and you have already thought till 1 at night! It was all going so well till now”

“Yes and it all went down once you came”

“Fine I wont come from tomorrow, I will stay at office. That’s what you want isnt it”

“Yes”

“Very good. Just one chocolate “ (It wasn’t a big piece frankly ;) and I know at this point it all seems like my fault but, trust me my intentions were good.)

“Just one chocolate can hugely ruin the appetite of kids. But why would you care”

“Yeah why would I care”

“If you care, I dare you to feed them the dinner they are meant to eat.”

“One day since your mom left and look at how wrecked you are”

“I am not. You are disrupting everything”

The kids went about munching their chocolate. I approached K to ask if he needed his dinner. He replied that he was no mood. I blasted again asking what was the need to be cross for so long. He said my reaction for one chocolate was a bit over the top too. And we go debating about the size, impact, related health concerns and what not of that “one chocolate”. I cried a bit, he shouted a bit and I went off to change in to normal clothes ( I am in workwear till the window of opportunity comes). I took a bit longer to come down. And the vision once I was back was surreal. K has managed to feed the healthy salmon to the kids! (Challenge accomplished!!! ) The kids ate the well intentioned “healthy dinner”. I got a card from Chiyaa.

Pumki asked me “Are you happy now?” And I was very happy indeed. We shared a cheesecake and end of story :D #DaagAcheHain