Coming out of it

The lockdown restrictions are going to be eased. It seems like yesterday now doesn't it when it all started. Shutting down. Some of things slowly, some of things suddenly. Our office for one, shut down with remarkable alacrity. We got a notice in the afternoon to pack up and go till further notice. The school and nursery were gentler, with a bit of prior notice.

Those were such uncertain initial days. I recall the "Christmassy" feeling. The schools were the last to close, allowing parents to work uninterrupted for as long as possible. I thought the schools would be the last to reopen - going by a last in last out policy. But it looks like schools will be the first to reopen, again allowing parents to resume work as quickly as possible. I am not very concerned about the health aspects of it. I think there are many much more qualified scientists, policy makers, doctors and educationists  who are way more well endowed for such decisions. For me, children are relatively low risk, so it might be fair to start schools first. The disease is here to stay, the idea was to avoid overwhelming the health care by the pandemic, which has been done more or less. Also we have to start somewhere. As I read in an article, "history will the judge of which country got it correct and how". So that is for a later date. 

On an aside, I never felt too worried about the disease per se. It's fatality and communication wasn't one to make me panic. I am more panicked by say a cholera or plague. Also people die of the flu as well. Being a pandemic, it could easily over whelm health care systems and result in preventable deaths. But that is the nature of anything related to diseases and a gamble we have every day. Anyways that is me. 

For now, June 1st is when things start kicking back to normal for our family. The nursery sent out a letter informing that they will be re-opening. That means Pumpki is definitely going back. It was a wonderful feeling having the kids at home. Though at times it was brain splitting-ly annoying, tiring, over whelming and a whole load of other negative emotions. But isn't parenting all about this superb roller coaster - the throes of joy and the chasms of despair? So though we found Pumpki tougher to manage, especially when Chiyaa had to do her school work, though we found it hard to manage two of them when they bickered and hoped for her to be a bit more "grown-up" and complaint, though we wished for it to all end - we actually did enjoy most of it. It was a different and special experience. 

Now when she will go back to nursery, we will miss her complains, her demands, her constant need for attention, her call for us to come and play with her. We will miss serving that extra bowl of food for her, having her set of demands, her clamouring for the very same toy or colouring pencil that Chiyaa has. We will rue waking her up, dropping her . But then she has to move on, go on with kids her age, play with kids her age and be back with her nursery teachers before she moves on to school in September.

Slowly we will have the emails trickling in about restart of schools and day cares. It seemed like forever, but it was a merely over a couple of months. I had moments when I was over whelmed. But I loved having the dining table full of papers, colouring sheets, pencils, crayons, dolls and of course the two work laptops. It was wonderful being all homed in. It was indeed a once in a lifetime opportunity. As an old advertisement went "Daag ache hain".

What's Normal

"This is the new normal" This term is being flung quite liberally. They say it takes 21 days for something to become a habit. It has been double the number of days. The locked down-ness is definitely more than the new normal. It is not even new any more.

There are a lot of people dealing with it in different ways. The home chefs with their Instagram worthy pictures of delicacies were a regular feed on my Facebook. It amazes me how people get the time to do all this?I for one started going proper crazy early. The home schooling was new. There was loads to do there. Pumpki - not yet in school - was a different challenge. She needed constant attention when Chiyaa was doing her tasks. It was quite difficult to manage that in the midst of work. I had no time to even read a book.

As a team member, I felt isolated. All the other team mates of mine got along fairly well. They were in similar personal circumstances which made it a bit easier for them to get along. They could get into impromptu calls as and when required, while it needed a bit more planning on my part. They were ever helpful, but their helpfulness made me feel over whelmed. There was a moment when I had a chat window and a teamie just asked "How's it going" and I had tears in my eyes. I was not doing very well emotionally.

There were personal challenges as well in terms of self control. There was the constant urge to snack upon something. This lead to an increase in mass of your truly. Which led to a decrease in morale and urge to eat just to feel better. It was a very vicious and unhealthy cycle.

But a good friend always says "this too shall pass". The work slowly dwindled to a steady pace or maybe I learnt to pace work. The kids got used to a new routine - the routine of the absence of a routine with still some method to all the madness. 

The children wake up later now, around 9 in the morning. As we blissfully work downstairs, they have matured within the span of these lock down days to finish their brushing and morning chores and come downstairs. It seems like yesterday that we used to be shrieking and shouting at them to use the washroom and brush their teeth after waking up. Chiyaa has been phenomenal in keeping Pumpki under control through the mornings. Breakfast is a hit or miss. Some days they are very plaint and go through it all without a hiccup. Other days, there is a lot of arm twisting - especially for Pumpki. They get busy with playing for some time, after which I take a break from work to do a couple of hours worth of school work with Chiyaa. This time is a bit tedious for Pumpki since she misses the company of her elder sister. Still mostly its under control. Post lunch, they have a few hours of play or television. On warmer days its a pure delight watching them go crazy in the garden. They play with flowers, leaves, mud, water - whatever comes their way. Luckily they are not at their wits end. Some evenings they do some home workouts with Joe Wicks who is the YouTube sensation with his workout videos. Again in remarkable maturity they have acquired over the past 7 weeks, they acquiesce to a bath and dinner mostly without a fuss most of the days. They play after dinner most days and Chiyaa does a bit more of her school work. Bed time has slowly moved from 2130 to 2230-2300. 

It is phenomenal the way the children have grown. They are increasingly self reliant. I feel for the parents who have younger children. It must be definitely very hard for them managing a million responsibilities of younger children along with work. Everyone is in a different boat of struggle and difficulty. Everyone's situation is unique and there is no comparative measure. A friend of mine has three children of school going age. On one hand things are easier for her since they are a bit grown up and can manage themselves with little adult supervision. On the other hand, she has three lots of school work to do which makes things very tedious. She does not have enough devices and has to use her work laptop to get some of the tasks done. Another friend has a 1 year old and a school going kid. It is very difficult to get any quiet time to get school work done. Yet another friend I know has two much younger children and there is the relentless cycle of feeding, changing, playing silly baby games for her.

I am sure everyone has their own set of struggles. We have greatly reduced venturing outside, which has brought an end to walks with kids and our runs. It is not too bad to be honest. Its safer to be inside. At least I have the weekly trip to the super market which gives me an excuse to step out of the house. My parents are with me which gives me the solace that they are well cared for without depending on others for their grocery and other stuff which would have been the case if they were back home. They pass through moments of boredom, but they make the best of what they have. 

These are definitely unprecedented times. We are living through, as the cliche goes, history. There will be definitive changes once we emerge from all of this. Here is hoping, each one gets the strength to go through their struggles. See you on the other side!