Wednesday, May 6, 2020

What's Normal

"This is the new normal" This term is being flung quite liberally. They say it takes 21 days for something to become a habit. It has been double the number of days. The locked down-ness is definitely more than the new normal. It is not even new any more.

There are a lot of people dealing with it in different ways. The home chefs with their Instagram worthy pictures of delicacies were a regular feed on my Facebook. It amazes me how people get the time to do all this?I for one started going proper crazy early. The home schooling was new. There was loads to do there. Pumpki - not yet in school - was a different challenge. She needed constant attention when Chiyaa was doing her tasks. It was quite difficult to manage that in the midst of work. I had no time to even read a book.

As a team member, I felt isolated. All the other team mates of mine got along fairly well. They were in similar personal circumstances which made it a bit easier for them to get along. They could get into impromptu calls as and when required, while it needed a bit more planning on my part. They were ever helpful, but their helpfulness made me feel over whelmed. There was a moment when I had a chat window and a teamie just asked "How's it going" and I had tears in my eyes. I was not doing very well emotionally.

There were personal challenges as well in terms of self control. There was the constant urge to snack upon something. This lead to an increase in mass of your truly. Which led to a decrease in morale and urge to eat just to feel better. It was a very vicious and unhealthy cycle.

But a good friend always says "this too shall pass". The work slowly dwindled to a steady pace or maybe I learnt to pace work. The kids got used to a new routine - the routine of the absence of a routine with still some method to all the madness. 

The children wake up later now, around 9 in the morning. As we blissfully work downstairs, they have matured within the span of these lock down days to finish their brushing and morning chores and come downstairs. It seems like yesterday that we used to be shrieking and shouting at them to use the washroom and brush their teeth after waking up. Chiyaa has been phenomenal in keeping Pumpki under control through the mornings. Breakfast is a hit or miss. Some days they are very plaint and go through it all without a hiccup. Other days, there is a lot of arm twisting - especially for Pumpki. They get busy with playing for some time, after which I take a break from work to do a couple of hours worth of school work with Chiyaa. This time is a bit tedious for Pumpki since she misses the company of her elder sister. Still mostly its under control. Post lunch, they have a few hours of play or television. On warmer days its a pure delight watching them go crazy in the garden. They play with flowers, leaves, mud, water - whatever comes their way. Luckily they are not at their wits end. Some evenings they do some home workouts with Joe Wicks who is the YouTube sensation with his workout videos. Again in remarkable maturity they have acquired over the past 7 weeks, they acquiesce to a bath and dinner mostly without a fuss most of the days. They play after dinner most days and Chiyaa does a bit more of her school work. Bed time has slowly moved from 2130 to 2230-2300. 

It is phenomenal the way the children have grown. They are increasingly self reliant. I feel for the parents who have younger children. It must be definitely very hard for them managing a million responsibilities of younger children along with work. Everyone is in a different boat of struggle and difficulty. Everyone's situation is unique and there is no comparative measure. A friend of mine has three children of school going age. On one hand things are easier for her since they are a bit grown up and can manage themselves with little adult supervision. On the other hand, she has three lots of school work to do which makes things very tedious. She does not have enough devices and has to use her work laptop to get some of the tasks done. Another friend has a 1 year old and a school going kid. It is very difficult to get any quiet time to get school work done. Yet another friend I know has two much younger children and there is the relentless cycle of feeding, changing, playing silly baby games for her.

I am sure everyone has their own set of struggles. We have greatly reduced venturing outside, which has brought an end to walks with kids and our runs. It is not too bad to be honest. Its safer to be inside. At least I have the weekly trip to the super market which gives me an excuse to step out of the house. My parents are with me which gives me the solace that they are well cared for without depending on others for their grocery and other stuff which would have been the case if they were back home. They pass through moments of boredom, but they make the best of what they have. 

These are definitely unprecedented times. We are living through, as the cliche goes, history. There will be definitive changes once we emerge from all of this. Here is hoping, each one gets the strength to go through their struggles. See you on the other side!

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