Wishing you a hopeful new year

 As the year draws to a close today I mostly think of it as a wasteful year. Through out the world there were wasteful wars where thousands of lives were lost for no good reason. We came so close to peace so many times but there wasn't anything decisive. There were numerous air accidents involving civilian and military aircrafts. Each time it made me feel awful for the parties involved. It was such a sad waste of life. They scarred me so much that I nearly had a morbid fear of flying - for myself as well as of anytime anyone from my family travelled. Luckily we made our journeys in safety and I pray the skies are safe for everyone. 

I went through a redundancy cycle. I have 4 close friends. Each one of us went through a redundancy cycle in their respective jobs. Everyone ended up having a different outcome. But it was tenure of stress and unwanted friction in  our lives which I felt  was unnecessary and wasteful. We all believe we have come out stronger, more fulfilled and better off on the other side. And there is perhaps only one way to get from one point to another, to get from one job to another.

My sister battled health issues for close to 4 months because of a misdiagnosed condition which was such a strain mentally and physically.

As a family I felt we lost quite a bit of money. Some were for random reasons like a bad purchase here or being overcharged for a home improvement there. But the worst was being charged a fine of £100 for overstaying  a parking by 35 seconds. It was just the most outrageous and horrible of them all.

But it was not all gloom and doom. Chiyaa turned 13 and we made a  trip to Norway. It was a surreal and out of the world experience. It was the stuff of dreams to be in the culturally thriving city of Oslo and then make our way into the Arctic circle and be in Tromsø. The holiday planner in me loved the planning and execution of the whole trip.

In May my parents came over. We celebrated their stay assuming it to be the last time they would be in the UK. We planned a trip to Canterbury which for me was lovely and rare one. Once they went back we settled into the usual routine. I was in my new job with a new projects and I loved every bit of it. It was the most fulfilling work experience in a long long time.

The project winded down and I am on my next long term project. I think I feel settled there too. There hasn't been a dull moment at my new work place. And thankfully in December we had a quick holiday to Berlin when we built a number of amazing wonderful memories.

We have looked after a lot of puppies and gained so much experience. We have read so many books and I love how the girls are hooked as readers. We have laughed and cried and grown and lived. 

In the coming year I hope to grow roots and stabilise in life, work and relationships. I hope we all recover from whatever scars we have been dealt this year. I hope for peace, stability and enriching experiences for everyone. Wishing anyone coming by a very happy new year!

Each one a new experience

 We look after guide dogs when their primary raisers are away for whatever reason. We had the opportunity to look after 2 in close succession.

One was tiny Cocoa who was only 12 weeks old. She was the youngest puppy we had handled. We did not have a great experience with Lucky so we thought it would be our attempt at redemption with another little female dog. She was a tiny little piece of joy, chaos and fun. She came into our house on a very cold and eventually rainy day. She was a bit out of place initially and had a few accidents around. But once the girls came back from school she was much better settled. She played with the girls like crazy. Since she was in that stage where she can be a could bite a bit, we chose to dress in thicket clothing. We were not complaining given the temperatures of this glorious island 😑

She was an early riser, and of course we had to be up with her. The girls could sleep if they wanted, but who would want to miss a turn with the lovely pup? So we would all be up around 7 even on a weekend and be with her. She was a silly goose, playing around with slippers and her toys. She would tire quite easily and then take a long nap. This was our turn to play card games and the like. I really love how looking after a puppy no matter for how long a duration forces us to spend time together as a family. Be it just sitting around the pup playing card games, watching some show or going for a walk. It is a really uplifting bonding exercise.

Once Cocoa went back, we were due to be looking after Scamp the Champ. Now Scamp is a pure golden retriever. He is just awesome. He is a majestic dog with a lot of sass and energy. He has such a big personality. We were excited to look after him. It was amazing to notice the changes in him as he has grown. Earlier he was quite an aloof dog. But this time we found him so well bonded with us. He would wave the kids goodbye when they left for school and would come to the window to keep looking at them. He would also greet us with such enthusiasm when we came back. Sadly most of the days with him were quite rain filled as well. Though he surely had the stamina to go on much longer walks, we were heavily restricted. We had to resort to shorter walks but that didnt take away the spurts of football in the garden. Again the times he forced us to hang out in the garden or sit around the dinner table fooling around with him was such an enriching time. We can only thank this lovely dog for the experience. He goes back tomorrow. After that we will surely feel the pang. But hopefully there will be many more tiny ones to amaze us next year. 

The Office

I am a self proclaimed "not a TV viewer". It gets to be a struggle to watch stuff with the kids. They are at a funny age, with Chiyaa being a teenager and capable of watching young adult shows and Pumpki not so much. But we have the one TV. There needs to be a consensus. All need to watch the same thing - sometimes at least :) We have days where we search for stuff to watch. Over the summer, we searched and searched and for the lack of anything better, we started The Office.

I am aware of the legendary status this show has. I had watched a few episodes of The English Office when we had moved to the UK initially. But I never got the time to watch it continuously. But this summer, I started watching it and Chiyaa just came and sat beside me. She found it jarring, unreal and eventually funny. I agree there are some adult themes in there, and it is not suitable for young kids, but Pumpki used to hover around when Chiyaa and I were watching and she got roped in as well. K was not comfortable with her watching it and there were some episodes where we did them on the sly ;) 

The series I must say lived up to its hype. First and foremost its irreverent. We cant see it through the new 'woke tinted' glasses. Characters are unapologetic, characters are crass, characters are funny. The actors have such immense comedic timing that it just blew my mind. Each and every member of the crew had amazing timing. There are a few characters such as Creed, Meredith and Toby which just had us in splits as soon as the camera panned towards them. The main characters played by Steve Carrell, Jenna Fischer, John Krasinski, Ed Helms and Rainn Wilson are just stellar. They are awesome actors with such range. There are scenes where they go from goofing around to being remorseful, they go from being casual to really emotional and it just takes the audience through the roller coaster within a span of 2 to 3 minutes. The character arcs of the main leads is amazing too. Its like water cutting through stone, nothing happens on a day to day basis but one still sees so much happening over the years. As a viewer I was annoyed with some developments and over joyed with others. There is some real clever writing there which manages to stitch together the stories across 9 seasons with approximately 20 episodes each. 

The penultimate season is a bit boring. Too many characters seem to be drawn in to make a heady mix, but it seems a bit slipshod. But then the show comes back with a bang in the last season. It has more of a 'romance' angle instead of 'fun' but I think that's what the viewers were waiting for. Closure for some of the characters who felt like family.

Watch this for some amazing writing and excellent comedy. It is pure gold. And I am glad I could watch it with my little girls! May the legacy of The Office continue :) 

The loop

 And just like that, a month has passed since my parents travelled back to India. Saying goodbye this time was super hard, but strangely the recovery wasn't too bad. I think earlier they were so active and so all over the place, helping in this, doing that, going for walks, playing with the kids, that their presence seemed to be everywhere. But this time I found them a bit more sedate. Yes, they were ever eager to do things, full of ideas for changes and willing to go out anywhere. But the tiredness of age was there as well. The preference to be at a certain place, the intention of conserving energy, the thrill of being looked after was what they sought as well. It was really sweet in a way to have this turn of events from their side, because both of them are ever buzzing without a moment's rest.

The autumn half term is the longest. It just seems to go on for ever. This time that seemed different too. It was 8 weeks long, but to be honest, did not seem so at all. Both girls were super engaged in one club or the other. There were events in school and I was personally  a lot busier at work. Work was new, super challenging, interesting and in large volumes. Most days I did have to end up working after the girls are home. Thank God they had their hobbies of gaming and books to keep them engaged. This was the first time in a long time that I did not feel the pain of a super long term. When Pumpki said, we just finished 8 weeks of school, it was sheer news to me!

We are tied in the cycle of half terms and school activities. Some years ago what seemed limiting and restrictive now seems like a blessing. It is in fact a blessing to be able to have those days of rest during the half term holidays. It is refreshing to not wake up to an alarm clock. Those few extra minutes of sleep add so much to the day. It is a different cadence to relax with the girls as it is to end up in a frenzy with them. As it is a different cadence with my parents, a gentleness, a slowly down. Life is so close to clockwork.

Maybe the end of a chapter?

 My parents start back to India tomorrow. It seems like the end of a chapter. Papa is 75 years old and is not too keen on making any more trips to the UK. The journey is too much of a toll on him. It feels especially heavy that tomorrow might be the last day they are in the UK. It all started way back in 2010 when K and I were seriously on a temporary basis here. We were so keen that everyone come and visit the beautiful country that we initiated visas for everyone and had them over for a few weeks to go through the main highlights of the country. 

One thing led to another and we had Chiyaa. Mummy was here to spend some glorious time with her when Chiyaa was a toddler. Papa was quite active then and could not do away with his engagements at home. He came over for shorter stints of 3 weeks when we visited Northern Ireland, places a bit further afield and had an amazing time. After Chiyaa it was time for Pumpki. Mummy who couldn't make it for  my first pregnancy because of visa issues, came over as soon as we needed her. She was a stellar companion for Chiyaa, was a fabulous granny for Pumpki and the solid support for me. Things did go a bit topsy turvy and K was transferred to Ipswich. We all made the shift because Mummy made everything seem so easy. Pumpki was flourishing in Ipswich and we were on the verge of getting our own house, when things took a turn for the worse. K had to quit his job to look for his next assignment in the UK. Mummy came over again once Amma had gone back to give us some respite. Since our tenure wasn't certain, we didn't want Pumpki to get enrolled in a day-care yet. K continued his job hunt and like a salmon coming back to where it is born we drifted back to Leeds. Mummy again made this second move seem seamless and effortless. 

Leeds was where we grew our roots. We got a house in 2018 and of course we had Papa Mummy come over and enjoy our new place. It was lovely to have them finally for longer durations since Papa had given up many of his long term engagements. Over the 7 years he was weakened as well and needed the companionship  of Mummy to travel. For me it was a bit of a win since I could enjoy his company for longer durations. We explored a few more places, ate at a few more joints and generally enjoyed each others company alongside our little kids. 

Papa wanted to make another trip the following year to perhaps celebrate the birthday of Chiyaa, Pumpki and myself since we are all winter babies. Winter is not the best time to come to the UK, but he is the kind of man who has some milestones and some self made aspirations. I was not going to complain :) Once they  reached in 2019, mummy  fell quite ill. It was the first time I felt the vulnerability of their age. It made me come face to face with the fact that they were loosing their strength - both mentally and physically. It made me aware of the changing times. But God had a different set of plans that year. 2019 was the year of the Covid and 2020 was the year of the lockdown. We had pencilled in  London and a bunch of other places. But we ended up being at home, taking many many walks, baking, cooking, playing, crafting and have a splendid 9 months! Papa had plans to celebrate 3 birthdays but we ended up celebrating every single birthday! During the birthday celebrations I kept thinking this was  perhaps the last time we were  all together cutting cakes and gorging on it because given our geographical distances, it wouldn't be easily feasible. I remember the evening prior to their departure back to India, I went on a walk with Mummy. She was looking around at the gardens and mentioned, "not sure if I can ever come back again and see all this" I replied, "Never say never Mummy, you never know :) "

As luck would have it, in 2 years' time my sister made her way to Leeds as well. It was an added incentive for my parents to come over here. They made the trips, we spent time as an entire unit - again something I never ever imagined would come true. It was literally God's grace and His awesome blessing that I got to spend such valuable time with my parents. Again there were trips, there was food and there were birthday celebrations. What started with just the highlights of UK in 2010 extended to way beyond the borders of UK by 2024. I did miss them when they stayed at my sister's place and I did wish we could literally be together all the time. But then one cant have it all.

This year 2025 has been their third consecutive annual trip to the UK. I must say this tenure has been the best. We have watched some scintillating cricket with the England vs India test series, the Asia cup or the IPLs. And maybe gotten the kids hooked to the game. We have played a lot of card games with the kids. It was a lovely time spent in a lot of warmth and love.

 I have taken the longest duration this time to reconcile to their return. As someone who has stayed away from home since I was 18 I am quite used to arrivals and departures. I miss people a lot, but then I move on. But this time around, the distance seems too much. We have come so far over the past 15 years. I have seen them slowly become reliant on us. I have seen them become even more adjustive though their body yearns for status quo. I know they have their lives back in India, it is much harder and much busier. The urge to look after them, to pamper them, to give them all the conveniences is very strong. I will be a wreck tomorrow. I will have my duties and chores, but the emotion of missing my parent will be with me for a long time. I know never say never, and the eternal optimist in me is sure they will come again and again. 

Sometimes its wrong

 Sometimes it's wrong

To be strong

To be someone who has it all together

For whom nothing can ruffle their feather 

Because these strong people also have cares

Worries, insecurities and fears

A wish for a shoulder to cry on 

The need for company when they feel alone

Someone to ask if everything is fine

Someone to assure after rain there will be shine 

Something new

 A lot changes tomorrow. My routine life which involved nothing much 😂 My holiday cadence. My lazy mornings and lazier afternoons sometimes littered with a siesta. My evenings were filled with tea and chit chats with family, lots of art and craft and card games. During the spectacular test series season it was high energy and high adrenaline match viewing along with some firey discussion with papa and my sister in post match. I watched a lot of movies in the theatre with the kids which was a novel and enjoyable experience. All 7 of us managed to make a vacation to scenic sea side in south of England. My mind was full in family mode basking in the tremendous love of my parents, my sibling, my kids and K of course. There was not a single iota of energy spent in work related thoughts. The laptop was turned off and kept away.

On 15th I went to the work place to give my laptop and access card back. It always feels strange doing it. There is some attachment to those inanimate objects that were part of your identity for however long. But it was all done in 5 minutes flat and there were no feelings attached. 

That door closed I look forward to starting my new job tomorrow. I know the company.  I have known this place and it has been a dream place since 2018. I couldn't make it then, this is my second chance. I know the work culture since K works there. It will be new but there is a degree of familiarity as well. I cross my fingers to the new beginning. 

A different summer

 Sitting on the 21 of July I was a bundle of emotions. Things have changed so much over the past few days. I intended to write this post earlier but then....

Well so this is how the story goes. I submitted my assignment on the 21 st and was informed  that I would get some feedback by the next day. It was a day filled with trepidation. I received no feedback. Which I felt was all right because it is not easy to evaluate a submission for a technical role at senior level. Also the evaluators would have their regular day job to  manage as well. Wednesday I had the phone on the highest ring volume and waited. It was also the day the kids started their summer holidays. K, I and the kids had plans to goto an indoor jump park to burn some calories. We were getting ready and the phone rang! Well, thank God it was nt just got news, it was amazing news. I had done quite well in the tech test. They wanted to schedule the next round. I was mostly available since I was not doing anything useful at my current place. The interview was scheduled for the next week Monday. 

I spent the Thursday preparing. Friday was a play date for both the kids. It was a good day with both being busy with their friends. It was also quite enjoyable for me since without much workload it was the first time I was able to host a play date. My parents came over from my sisters house that evening so it was a lovely full house. 

I had my interview on Monday and by the evening I got the information that I had secured the role! It was just amazing to land with the job which would be more my cup of tea. I had to inform the other place that I would not be joining them. It was to be quite an unpleasant conversation but something which had to be done. I prayed for the reason to just tumble out and not burn any bridges or be supremely uncomfortable. Thankfully it somehow segued into the realm of personal circumstances where I was looking for a more stressful free and less demanding role. Again by the grace of God the recruiter went away with the reason without challenging me much.

That door was nice and firmly closed. Now I was relaxed. Though I had to take a pay cut I was happy with the role and the company. Sometimes it is for the greater good. 

There were 3 more official days at my firm. I was itching to send my last day at work email 😂 

I was having a time of my life with the summer holidays though. There was no work to bother about. I was doing some light reading to keep pace with the changes in technology. There were long walks with the kids. There was a lot of time spent playing board games. There was a lot of video gaming as well. The schedules are messed. Kids would be up till 11pm and I was hitting the bed after midnight. It was exhilarating. Something I would never have done with work. I wasn't on holiday but I had no work. It was the most amazing 2 weeks. 

Finally we got to the 31st of July which was my last working day with my organisation. I informed the people I had worked closely with. It was amazing to get the good luck wishes from my wonderful colleagues. It was an official end to a chapter. A very weird chapter. I was being paid a lot and had a lot of perks. But I never had challenging work. I had good work life balance but then there were some funny characters to deal with. I had unlimited leave but then each day wasn't worth much. It was funny. I had no reason to leave and no reason to stay. It was a limbo. And finally push came to shove and I had to leave. An unceremonious leave. But hopefully all for good 

Topsy turvy

 Things are never super duper smooth sailing for me. Such is my luck. If things can go wrong, they do go wrong. 

So I was at risk of redundancy in my current firm. I started looking for a new role and managed to get one as well. I handed in my notice to my current company. It came as no surprise to my manager since all of us were at risk. There were no hard feelings and he was super supportive and was looking at an early release if needed. I was looking for a release on the 15th of August so that I could start in my new place on the 18th of August. I would work till the 31st of July and then take two weeks from 1st August to 15th August as holiday and join on the 18th.  I made this clear to my new place. The recruiter wanted to understand the full timeline. And I made it clear what my plans were and how I was negotiating a release. Once they were made aware, they started pushing for an earlier joining date. My initial offer letter had 11th August as the joining date. This was subject to change. Since they were now aware of my where abouts (for which I was totally to be blamed for divulging in total naiveté) they were insistent that I join them ASAP. 4th August to be precise.

I had no plans for the 2 weeks of holidays. But I needed that break. I wanted to spend the time unencumbered with my kids since it was summer break too. I did not want to be bogged by new work, access requests, getting laptops set up and a million other things that come with joining a new place. The recruiter was insistent in calling and texting and getting in touch with me regarding an early release date. I am not very comfortable dealing with such scenarios. I can take a full on technical issue and deal with it through sleepless nights, but I cant deal with people who tick me off in the wrong way. I was getting very annoyed with his constant calls pestering me for an earlier joining date. At the end of it I just lost it. I wasnt keen on entertaining such ignorant arrogant people. Maybe he had his reasons(which wasnt made clear to me). Maybe there was no ulterior motive but they just wanted to get things started very quickly. But it didnt sit right with me. So I started my look out for jobs again. 

I had an interview which had gone quite well and there was a tech test which was pending. I reached out to the contact and asked if I could restart my application. She was very welcoming and was at once willing to get going on my application. She passed on the test. It was very daunting and quite a complicated test. I spent an entire evening panicking over it. I had to look up tutorials because it had been a few years since I had done work in the particular technology. I started on Wednesday(16th July)  and kept a mental time frame of finishing it all by the weekend. It was 5 days worth of work where I toiled hard to present my best foot forward. Sunday evening I submitted my work. In the meanwhile, on Thursday I got confirmation that I was ok to join on the 18th of August. 

There were too many things up in the air for my sanity. I felt I was very reactionary in hind sight. I felt as if I need not have negotiated for an early release in my current firm, since I was loosing the chance of literally getting paid for doing nothing. This again didn't feel good for the work ethics part of me. But this was the genuine state of affairs. There was no compulsion to do any work for any of us since we were all at risk of redundancy. We were allowed to devote all our time for preparation for our next roles where ever they might be. Many of my colleagues had taken this route till the year end to start looking in the new year. They were taking the time to relax and up-skill themselves. It is not a mindset I can live with, but looking back perhaps this should have been my approach after all. One learning for the future me. Sometimes it is good to take time to react. Though honestly I am not sure how successful I will be in removing the impulsive part of me who likes to dive in and take action as soon as there is a stimulus. 

Sitting on the 21st of July things seem in a lot of flux. There was a moment last week where I was tempted to rescind my resignation. I was so daunted by the tech test, that I simply wanted to withdraw it and sit here till December to see how things pan out. But within 5 days or so, I have managed to submit my test. I will hear from them tomorrow. I have another initial round scheduled for tomorrow. The kids holidays start tomorrow which means a bit relaxed when it comes to schedules but a bit more chaos in terms food and general lay of the house. If some other offer happens in the midst of this, I am also dreading a very uncomfortable conversation to withdraw myself from the position with my future employer. I have no idea what is going to happen. I have no idea what is good and what isn't. I just have to wait and bat it out 🤞

The journey and the destination

 I am very lucky when it comes to my family touchwood. They just swoop down and encompass me in this blanket of love and caring that I just feel immune to any worries and woes. Thats what happened over the weekend. My mom flew down and took over all the chores in the house like ironing the clothes, cleaning up and all the peripheral activities. My sister took over the kitchen. Papa engaged in light talk about the England vs India test series and cleaned up the garden with me. Their very presence, the light hearted conversations lets me leave my worries and  cares and bask in this true love.

The interviews started lining up. My diary started getting filled up. I will be honest, there definitely was a big plus in officially trying for a job. There was liberty of using any sort of work resources to help one find their next employment. I made a calendar of all the initial conversations that were scheduled for me. When I started talking with all these people, looking to hire someone like me, I loved it. There was a thrill in putting my best foot forward and show-casing all I knew. There was a challenge in thinking on the spot and coming up with answers. There was a sense of achievement in the feeling that I had given my best. The adrenaline was back again, in proper fight mode. I had been scared and been hiding behind a cushy job which I claimed I could do in my sleep. The benefits and the flexibility made me further chained to the mundane and drab work. This was the jolt I finally felt glad for. Maybe it was God's plan to get me out of a rut (since I did not realise I was in a rut in the first place) and get me moving and excelling. 

The interviews I had were brilliant. They were all amazing people who wanted to assess someone instead of putting someone through a gruelling test. I loved the whole process. There was one company which was progressing at quite a rapid pace. They were very keen to have me on board. I had an initial conversation with their CCO who went on to schedule a face to face technical interview. Post the interview, within a day they were happy to give me an offer. There were a few more conversations in the pipeline. But that I had an offer was terribly reassuring. I let the news out to people who had been worried for me. The fact that after the dreadful news, when everything seemed gloom and doom, with news of the awful market and what not, it was amazing to end up having an offer, to have options, to have the excitement of moving on!

Silver linnigs

 After the news was dealt there was a flurry of activity in our organisation. People started posting questions. People started putting forth openings that they came across. People started really helping each other. There was such wonderful camaraderie amongst all those who had been impacted by the news. There was also immense support online on various forums, especially LinkedIn. That annoying site for once was filled with genuine concern from ex-employees who were reaching out to people at risk. Since the organisation is quite big, the news was quite widespread. I had friends and ex-colleagues who were sharing links of openings or taking my resume for referral. It was so heart warming to witness this overflow of good will.

I started receiving calls from recruiters and companies since I had pretty much carpet bombed my resume. I had interviews lined up for the next week, for all the days. It made me feel really optimistic that all this would turn out for the good. There definitely was light at the end of this tunnel. 

Day 3 post impact

 The next day was a bit funny. We resumed our normal ceremonies at work which includes the morning status call. Most of the people who had been impacted sounded as if they had cried through the night. Our manager who was "safe" went through the motions as normal. He was totally tone deaf and went on through all the updates if 50% of his team wasnt at the risk of redundancy. I felt totally disengaged from everything. It was not something I was ok with. I had been through redundancy cycle in another organization. It is something that happens, there is no lie in it. But the way it was being dealt out in my current place seemed very inhumane. There was just a 30 minutes call to tell nearly 500 people who belonged to our location, that your job is not longer relevant as of December. It was a news being dealt to a large number of people in one fell swoop, where people were being treated as mere numbers. I was definitely not ok with it. So I was totally disconnected from what ever was happening. 

I had received an email the previous evening scheduling an initial conversation with another organization. I was quite excited for it. In the past 3 years here, I had been casually looking at roles. But I was very casual about. I applied to a role that looked good enough, not reading too much. I was of course not receiving much calls. So I was under the impression that the market was not looking good at all, and it would be super hard to secure a role. So when I got a call from a company for an initial conversation it gave me hope. At least my dear resume had landed on someone's desk and they approved of it and had decided to give me a call. The meeting was in the afternoon, and since I was finding it hard to concentrate on anything, I decided to take a long walk. 

It was nice and relaxing to go on the walk in the lovely cloudy weather, listening to an audio book. There are small joys even if everything seems gloom and doom. I came back from the walk and got on with the meeting. The conversation was very informal and she confirmed that I would be put forth for the next round. It boosted my confidence immensely. It gave me a positivity and something to look forward to. There was a certain joy in actively preparing for another role and not being pestered to do ones day job. 

Evening I started preparing technical interviews. I also started looking for companies and applying to them directly. It was hard work, but there was an element of single minded focus. I had to forge ahead. I had to move on.  

It sinks in

 Day 2 at work was a flurry. There were back to back calls giving more details regarding the rationale of the move, the next steps and the way forward. There were channels created at work which were abuzz with rants, suggestions, advice and everything in between. While all this was going on I had my personal way of dealing with it. Taking the logical step, I started applying earnestly. I went through various options, started looking at linked in and started applying with which ever role looked suitable.

I asked all I knew to refer me to any openings that came forward. It seemed like hell had broken loose. It was a very scary scenario to be in. K and I started looking at finances and when funds would start to run dry in case I did not end up with a job. I technically have till end of this year in my current organisation with a probably decent payout since I was being made redundant. I did not want to rest on my laurels though. I decided that for my career it would be way more beneficial if I moved on and started working at a new place, learning new things. The environment at work was pretty dry and listless as well. No one in the team seemed to have any enthusiasm to work. Everyone was mulling over their scenario. K and I went to the gym during lunch to take our minds off the impending worries. Once back, since there was nothing tangible for me to progress I took it slow. I did not even bother to keep the laptop on. Seeing me move around from room to room aimlessly, K hovered around to give assurance. I joked "I am loosing my job, you better keep working to retain yours" To which K replied, "Trust me I do not envy you at all".

Once it was time for the kids to return, life kicked in as usual. It was awesome to have them chatter about their day and fill the house with their random banter. It really kicked in some life in the house. In the evening I received a call from a consultant who said he was recruiting for a role. And small world, the hiring manager was someone I had worked with before. It was a dazzling ray of hope to hear those words and I put forth my application in the speed of light. The day had started pretty murky with the office calls painting our careers in darkness but then it had taken a positive turn by the evening. 

To take a negative turn again!! At night when I tried to get on to LinkedIn, I was blocked. It was as if my world had come crashing down! How was I to function, how was I to apply for roles, what was going to happen! It seemed like the absolute end of the world. And again the water works started. K tried his best to console me. We did the necessary steps recommended to verify me. He raised a support ticket since only a logged in person can raise it! It was a bit manic. But then there is only so much one can at 0030 hours. There was a normal school day coming up and I decided to cry myself to bed :|

The news

 The past week has been tumultuous to say the least. Out of the blue on Tuesday morning there was an invite to a call at 11 at work. There was some speculation about what the call might be about, but there was a general undercurrent that there would be some bad news. We geared up and joined in the call and as expected the news wasnt good. All who had been invited to the call were "at risk". This means by the end of the year there was a chance that a good number of us would not be having a job at the current organisation. 

I am not in love with the job. But, I do it with full diligence and with utmost sincerity. Thats how I have functioned over the last 21 years. I have been through probable redundancy cycle in previous organisations. But this news, the way it was merely read out and for me personally the unexpetedness of it, took me by a total surprise. I started crying. Literally big blobs of tears started flowing and I was in shell shock. The first stage is denial when faced with anything new isnt it. 

After I had composed myself a bit, I got on with the usual task of having lunch. K and I went on a long walk to take our minds off it. Then of course I had to speak to my parents and my sister. My parents were super supportive. There was not an iota of worry or anxiety from them. My sister went straight to the second stage and got angry :D She was really disappointed with the shoddy treatment of our company. On hindsight there are some things that only happen to others isnt it. We dont think they will ever happen to us :) till they do :)

After some conversation, there was time to take action. Got my resume prepped up. I did not have a linkedin account and that is the place to be if someone is looking for jobs. So got that sorted. (Further details on that later) Told everyone I could that my job was under jeopardy and to keep an eye for anything that might come their way. 

Once the kids came in, I had to break the news to them. I told it with as much indifference as I could muster. My exact words were "Mummy will be loosing her job so please do the tasks I ask you to do when I do. Dont make me repeat stuff because that might make me very cross and then we will all be cross with each other" The girls were a bit shocked. But then they kept any questions they might have under wraps and got on with the task of getting ready for bed.

Kids wrapped up, I again felt the weightlessness of the whole scenario. It was a daunting world. There were so many thoughts in my head. I could go on to my dream career of being a teacher, I could try something new, I would get a better option or worse still I could end up being jobless. There were so many ifs and buts and my 2 page CV swimming in the big bad world. 

PS. I am writing this in real time. So I will be posting updates as and when they happen. *fingers crossed* the posts will end up with something positive 

The road trip - for real

 We had never done a road trip. As in we have driven to destinations in a car and spent some time, but Edinburgh was like 4.5 hours away. Pumpki has extreme car sickness, so we have always constricted our journeys to within 2 hours so that she doesn’t get too uncomfortable. We also tend to avoid windy  roads. The drive to Scotland would involve everything - a long journey, lots of hilly roads and sitting in a car. But Pumpki is 9 now, and we hoped she would be able to handle most of it. The biggest advantage of driving was that there was no time constraint to start to catch a mode of transport and boy was that a big sell for Pumpki since she hates waking up on time to catch a train or a flight. We could also pack our stuff all willy nilly, dump coats, carry extra shoes - the world was literally our oyster :D :D

It was immense fun driving through the lovely sunny weather. We took frequent breaks, swapped the driving between ourselves, snacked and the kids dozed a bit too. We started with lovely weather in jolly ol England and ended up with downpour in bonnie Scotland. The irony! Anyways, we can’t be slaves to the weather right? So we geared up to take charge of the trip anyways. The evening we reached, we visited my dear friend J. It was just so lovely to give her a cuddle and see her 2 darling daughters. My kids and hers bonded like they had known each other for a long time. Her eldest even came and mentioned that our family was so like theirs. Even J said to me that she had been telling her kids that we are the most similar family to theirs that could be :)

After some refreshments we headed off to the beach which was a 20mins walk from their house. We girls walked, we chatted and the husbands caught up. It was like we started off from where we had left in Ipswich. We went to a small park and J mentioned how we used to chat in Ipswich in the evenings in the park. It all seemed like yesterday quite literally. Time flew in hearty conversations and as we bid goodbye after 4 hours it seemed the most satisfying 4 hours ever. The next day we had plans to visit the Scottish highlands. But we still had one more day that we could potentially spend with each other. There were no concrete plans, but we finished day 1 with promises to meet again :) 

A road trip plan

 Its been a while since I posted on what happened the week after :) So here goes :) 

I made a friend during our stay in Ipswich. She was the wife of one of K’s colleagues. We used to bump into each other when she used to return from work and I would be in the local park with my little ones (I was on maternity leave then ) The casual hi, how are you, nice weather encounters led to more conversations. We realised we both intermittently used the same gym ;) We tried to motivate each other to go for the same classes. Some more casual conversations ensued. She was a nice cool person to hang out with and we enjoyed each other’s company.

Then life happened. We moved back to Leeds. We still kept in touch with the usual hi, what’s ups. They moved to Edinburgh and things moved in parallel non convergent paths for both our families. She ended up having her second child and a 2 daughters family like ours. We bought our first homes. We changed jobs. A lot seemed in sync happening in different planes. We kept in touch, discussing more than the weather. We discussed kids, husbands, jobs and gradually maybe everything under the sun. 

So this year she turns 40. I wanted to make a special gesture, just because. I couldn’t think of a good gift to give her. That’s when I had a light bulb moment! How about gracing her with my company :P I know not a lot of people would think of that as a gift ;) but I was kind of sure that she would appreciate it. I proposed it to K and he was surprisingly convinced that it was a good idea. Thus the  plan of a trip to Edinburgh took roots.

Scamp the champ!

 It was a lovely sunny Friday afternoon. We had some renovation work going on in our house. Our puppy development advisor came over with Scamp. Scamp was tiny for his age. And he was just so ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE. He was an awesome bundle of energy with an amazing personality of his own. He was playful, very naughty digging holes all around the garden. He started grabbing things from the house like slippers, shoes, socks, hats - whatever he could lay his paws on and take it outside. 

Since he was a small puppy he didn't need long walks. A good playtime in the garden was pretty much enough for him. But boy he could play! There were so many games that he could be a part of. Tug of war, chase, football and so many more. That puppy was a bundle of energy. 

He also had this silly fascination for my slippers. He would do anything to get them, even bite my ankle. Thats what he did many times with his tiny puppy teeth 🙂 He was such a sassy personality. He would look at us eating and have the eyes full of expectation. But he wasnt a beggar. He would look at us with those proud eyes to make us give him something. If we didn't he would walk off and chill in the garden. 

He also had this amazing habit of basking in the sun which made us feel he was even human 😂Everytime  he used to wake up from his nap he used to come to a spot on the garden which had a lot of sun. He would be super groggy and sometimes go back to sleep in the sun or rouse himself up. He had his naughty witching hour as well in the evening when he would try to bite everything and everyone. It wasnt meant out of aggression or anxiety, it seems it is a think that puppies do when they are that young. Perhaps something akin to babies having colic when they are around the 4 month mark. 

It was a lot of fun having him around for a little over a week. It kept us fully occupied and very joyfully occupied. When it was time to bid him goodbye it was quite tearful and sad. But then we had the next week to look forward to!

Easter break plan

We have been waiting for the Easter break. There was no earth shattering reason but there were numerous small reasons. 

So, the Easter break is for 2 weeks and comes around April first week. It's the time when spring is in the air. The bulbs are awakening and the tulip heads are budding out. There are sporadic rains in just the right amount which give the newly blossomed leaves after winter a lovely green sheen. It's just the right temperature on most days. The increasing hours of sunlight in during the day also bring in a degree of happiness. Given the cosmic alignment of such happy stuff taking a day off in itself makes one feel happy. 

To top it we were asked to look after a 3 month old golden retriever puppy for a week. Our family adores golden retrievers. After Lucky  this would be our second chance to look after such a young pup. It could also be our redemption. We were sent the picture of the puppy Scamp and he was supremely adorable. We jumped at the chance and said yes.

Our first week of the holiday was thus going to be occupied. For the second week I proposed a road trip to Edinburgh. I had a friend when we were in Ipswich. We have managed to keep in touch. She turns 40 in May. So I thought it might be a good idea to pay her a visit. K agreed quite easily for the trip as well! So that was our Easter break planned. What remained was execution!

A child's plan

 This post was long over due. I intended to post it last month but work and life came in the way. 

Pumpki's birthday was in December. Last year she took full responsibility of planning her birthday. Every. Single. Thing. From the venue to the party plan, from the invitees to the return gifts, from the menu to the return gifts. Including gifts she wanted from various members of the family. Every. Single. Detail. It was end to end planned by her. 

She wanted the party at home. A small party with her 2 best friends, Sara and Alice. And she wanted the food to be rice and chicken curry from a nearby place followed by boba tea for dessert. Of course there would be cake. She wanted balloons, lots and lots of balloons and a bunch of art and craft gifts. The list was big which included air dry clay, washi tape, different types of paints which I had never heard of. We also sneakily got her a few more things that she would appreciate. A month prior to her birthday I sent out the invites to her friends who gladly accepted it.

There was a month of shopping where every other day some parcel arrived at our door step :) 

A day before the party we adults got poorly. Thankfully Chiyaa was ok. She took the full responsibility of decorating the house. Since K was the only adult who could be of some help, they together got the entire house decorated as per Pumpki's wish. We popped all the paracetamols we needed and got ready for the next day. 

Pumpki's friend Alice texted early in the morning that she was had an bad tummy and may or may not be able to make it. It made Pumpki really upset. But being the darling that she is, she quickly cheered up and got ready to spend her day with Sara. Sara came in at the designated time and both girls got on with playing and a tour of the house etc etc. Chiyaa was the ever caring elder sister taking care of both the girls. Since we adults were not feeling so well, we kept away from the kids since we did not want them to get any illness. Around noon Alice's mom messaged that she was feeling fine and if she could come over. Pumpki was over the moon to hear this. So the trio was formed and the girls had lot of fun singing, dancing, playing video games, playing with bracelet and hair band sets and what not! Time flew and it was evening and it was time to call the party to an end. It was a lovely party planned end to end by an eight year old girl who wanted to celebrate turning nine. May God always bless this lovely child who has so much creativity, initiative and love for a close circle of friends and family.

Winding down and easing in

 December has a sense of winding down. There is a degree of laxness in  routine. There is a general chilled out attitude. This year it was more so because  Pumpki 's swimming classes were cancelled for some renovation work in the pools. This took out the hectic after school dashes on Wednesday. Pumpki loved it since she had more time to pursue  her art and craft projects.  Chiyaa had a lot of cancellations of her guitar classes as well which were very much to her glee. 

The Christmas holidays were a mixed bag. There was a whole lot of relaxation but there was the season of sickness as well. We somehow scraped through it and managed to land in January. K was the first to hobble back into work. I took the first 2 working days off sick since I was in no position to sit through a full work day. The weekend before start of school, we geared up with uniform ironing, books setting and the regular activities that are mandatory before start of school. But then it snowed. It snowed like there was no tomorrow. 

Sunday evening we received messages from the school that there might be delayed start to the school day because of snow and the disruption it was causing. We heaved a sigh of relief since we didn't need to start at break neck speed and be jolted into reality on 6th of January in the snowy and icy conditions. We woke up all relaxed at 7am to receive the news that both schools were closed. The hurrays from the kids went through the roof. One additional day was like manna from heaven. They spent the day baking and playing video games. Everything was already ready so there was no news for preparation for the next day!

One extra day did give us a more pumped up demeanor for the rest of the week. We woke up on Tuesday to news from Chiyaa's school that it was going to be closed since the premises were not safe from an ice and snow perspective to house the  kids. Whoop! We got Pumpki ready who was a bit dejected at having to go while her elder sis was to be at home. K painstakingly cleared the paths Nd worked up a sweat defrosting the car. He was about to start for the drop when I decided to check the emails for good measure. Her school had emailed that they would be shut too! OMG! The best thing ever for parents and kids alike! Another relatively relaxed day and we were ready for the week 😅

We had to grin and bear through 3 days only before a relaxing weekend. The start times were relaxed and we picked up both the kids together. It was lovely to have them come home shrieking and shouting and regaling us with  stories of school. 3 days indeed were not too hard and we slowly eased into the weekend. Sometimes snow is good  🙂

A lot can change in 2 weeks

 

A lot can happen in 2 weeks. Just 2 weeks ago we were winding down for the year. There were plans being made. Plans to continue come to the gym in turns so that we don't undo all the gains. Plans to take the kids on a lot of long walks which we hadn't managed this year. Plans to spend time planning for an upcoming holiday in February. Plans to have family friends over, who we hadn't seen for one reason or another in a long time. There were plans to read a lot, watch lots of shows together, cook, clean, organise. Essentially have a productive time together. 

It started well enough. Chiyaa had an early finish on her last day at school. She came home and chilled for a bit till it was time to pick Pumpki up. Chiyaa accompanied me and it was quite fun walking  back home with both of them. We were to have friends over on the next couple of days. There was a lot of tidying up to do. There was also a lot of food to be prepared. It was an all hands on deck scenario. I loved how everyone came together. Giving their ideas for the menu, helping out on the kitchen chores and cleaning the house. We had a fantastic dinner over the Saturday and the Sunday was spent in the lovely company of another family. 2 more days of work and we were good to bid adiue to the year.

Monday contrary to expectations was quite hectic with work being wrapped up. Plans for a walk came to some fruition and we managed a short one. We seemed to be doing all right when it came to execution of the plans made a few days ago. Morning shows the day and we were quite hopeful that it would indeed be a productive couple of weeks.  

Tuesday our work places called it an early finish since it was Christmas eve. We had plans to venture out but the girls were too busy playing on the consoles. Well it was Christmas eve so no point in being too hard. We decided to let it go and call it a chilled evening. 

The next day was Christmas and time for us to work on our annual lego pieces. We sort of have this tradition of building huge legos over Christmas. Chiyaa, Pumpki and I got busy making our legos. It took the good part of the day with some overflow into the next day. Well our other plans were going for a toss but then it was Christmas time!

Boxing day I started to feel a bit unwell. It started with an itchy throat. I popped some paracetamol and rubbed some pain relief balm on my neck with the hope of feeling better. The next day I was feeling worse! Much much worse. And to make matters worse, it was Pumpki 's birthday the day after. I really wanted to be better for her sake. I was still quite unwell the next day but we somehow managed to celebrate Pumpki 's birthday. It was a good celebration. 

After this I just went further downhill. I totally lost my appetite. I literally went 29th and 30th without any food. Without food my energy was rock bottom too. Thankfully my sister was around and helped with feeding and looking after the rest of the household though she wasn't feeling great herself. With 0 energy the only thing that could be done was watch TV. And we watched a lotttttt of TV. We finished the Harry Potter series and started The Lord of the Rings. We even watched some lesser known shows and movies on Netflix which we still enjoyed a lot.

I was hoping to get better atleast by New Year's Eve. But that was not the case. I was better but still not there. So that was another day of being at home, sitting with the kids and doing nothing much but watch TV. 31st December was quite sedate. We were greeted to some friendly neighbourhood fireworks which brought some spontaneous smiles. 1st January came with some recovery, which enabled me to manage to clean some of the neglected bits of the house. I was still weak but felt the house was in desperate need of cleaning. I did as much as I could manage and then had to plop in front of TV. We were not happy about it, but by this time even the kids were feeling a bit under the weather and we did not want to risk aggravating their condition. I had to take 2nd and 3rd January off sick. I managed some chores around the house but still it was TV which was the primary source of distraction. The kids were coughing and troubled by aches and pains and given the scene at home, it was best to stay in doors.

The last weekend of the holidays brought in snow. And the best excuse to cross the threshold of the house. It was cold but bright. It was wet but magical. The snow seemed a weird twist of fate indicating a turn round the corner. It was finally a new week and things were going to be better.

2024 year end post

 I have not my yearly ritual for last year. I did not do my annual summary which I definitely do before the year turns around. But this year I was very sick to do it. So its late but anyways here it is.

I had absolutely no expectations from 2024. I remember driving back from school one December evening and telling my sister that I had no plans, no excitement for 2024. I had no holidays to look forward to.  The  house extension was still in progress and I had no idea when it would get over and I could have control over a normal house again. My sister very maturely had said go with the flow. I took it as the mantra for the year.

The house extension which had started in October 2023 took upto end of January to get done. The house was just one part. There was getting the furnishings, painting, decorating, carpeting. We also went on to buy new sofa, new dining chairs, repainting the entire house and getting all the curtains redone. It took quite a lot of effort, time, money. But slowly but surely it enhanced the look and feel of the house. The total upheaval made us feel better overall as well.

In the month of April - May Amma  reached our place and my parents reached my sister's place. It was good to have both sets of parents in the same town. 

Around the same time, K decided to volunteer for guide dogs. Going with the the flow this was something we hadn't anticipated would happen in our lives. But we did get accepted and it was a whole different suite of experiences dealing with puppies. Again we had hoped things would go swimmingly,but we saw ourselves not being competent enough to raise puppies given our family and work conditions. So we down graded ourselves to be boarders. We took care of puppies when their original owners were incapable of doing it for some reason. It was  still a very enriching experience and we had unmentionable joy looking after our favorite Imber. 

The weather was very murky for the good part of the year. There was a lot of time spent indoors watching the Olympics, T20 world cup, IPL and   a host of sporting events. Towards October to bid adiue to our parents. We had ventured now where for the entire year. But then an opportunity presented and we decided to go on a holiday in October. It was an immensely relaxing 4 days.  Things started really winding down in the months of November and December.  There were some bad news with respect to jobs for friends for which  I am eternally grateful to God for helping us keep ours. 

This year we have ended up really going with the flow. There were unanticipated travels, unexpected moves at work and unprecedented moments with friends and family. Overall over the year, we are at a much better and improved place from where we started on 1.1.2024 

Here is hoping who ever chances upon this post a year of improvements and extensions and enjoyment of those enhancements. May good things come your way ❤️