Home is where …

 ….Your favourite people are. And for me, they are here in Bhubaneswar. Our family is immensely closely knit, and it takes no time for us to revel in each other’s company. This trip to my home was a very novel experience for me. I have made previous trips with my kids being little, who needed constant attention. This time around, they are self-reliant. I could spend more time at home and more time with home. I was able to pitch in on some normal activities such as opening the gates for people who needed to come in or put the clothes for drying or make something quickly for us to eat. Most other times, I would be too busy looking after kids to indulge in these basic activities, which bound me so strongly to home. I had never paid much attention to how this home functioned, but this time around, I did. It bound me so tightly with this lovely home. I felt joy and beauty in every aspect of being at home. 

Luckily, K enjoyed Bhubaneswar to the hilt as well. With him, as well, he had never gotten to savour the city. We were mostly escorted by people to destinations or were mostly catered to. This kind of gives a second-degree exposure. This time, thanks to an India phone number and digital payment gateways, it was possible for him and the kids to roam around and have a blast by themselves. So much so that K just loved anything and everything about this stay.

After all this fun comes the pain. The pain of separation. I should be used to it, but I am not. I don’t worry about my parents because they are self-reliant people, and more importantly, they are good people, and I believe God looks after them. But I miss their company, their presence, the small activities with them. I miss their presence. I have always been absent from Bhubaneswar. I have studied and worked elsewhere.  I have been away from home for a long time, but I still feel the agony. Or maybe because I have been away for a long time, I feel the agony. 

Last night, I hugged my mum and cried a lot. I slept near her and spoke till midnight. About nothing in particular. She reminded me how I used to ask her to sleep near me before important exams. It seemed like the same last night. A terrible exam of going away again. 

But that is life, and that is the irony of it.