I am my mother

 

There are just so many times I feel exactly like my mother.

When we were kids, we weren’t the best to listen to her. She used keep telling us the same thing a billion and one times. Keep the empty glass away, clean the table, turn off the fan in the other room, switch off the TV, go to study NOW!, come to eat NOW! – And so so so many more. We never EVER listened the first time. Then she would say again. Then again. Maybe on the fifth iteration which would definitely be at a very loud decibel level, we would finally heed. As we would drag our lazy selves to do what ever she had asked us to do, she would invariably say “How would you feel if I don’t do immediately what you ask me to do? Wait when you ask me to do something, I will also do after you have said a million times.”

Lately I see myself saying the same especially to Chiyaa so much! When Mummy used to say that to us, my sister and I would giggle quietly 😃 Now I am just the same and I think my daughters definitely giggle quietly 😃

Being a professor, Mummy had to study late at nights for classes or for research work. She had a 6 day working week too. So Sundays used to be her day to rest. She used to cook a lavish lunch and around 2pm would go to take a nap. We sisters were supposed to be quiet. But. Were we quiet? 😉 We moved around her, playing, giggling, trampling her. She would endure it for some time and then! Bam! Her dam would burst and she would give us a massive scolding.

And guess what? That’s my Saturdays. Saturday is the day I feel more relaxed cos Sunday involves more prep work for the coming week. After a lavish lunch, I feel like curling up in bed with a book. The kids are quiet ok, but they do about playing, giggling and trampling over me. Life has definitely turned a full circle.

As my kids grow, I see myself growing into my mother and my kids into me. The absolute enigma called life.

All so new

 It is all new. It has been the same since March, but still it feels all new.

There are days when Pumpki demands an omelette in the morning. And I make it! I had never imagined sending my kids to school with hot breakfast (unless I was on holiday). But that happens once in a while. When Chiyaa had started school, I was working from home. So I used to get her hair done in a different plait every day (as much as time permitted) Lately it had all watered down to 2 French plaits or a pony tail. Since we are working from home, I can invest some time in making Pumpki’s hair. Not that she is keen on getting anything done. Which is a far cry from her elder sister who loved her hair done in different styles. But if the girls are in the mood and I have creative juices flowing and time at hand, they go to school with a nice hairstyle. 

 But getting them ready and their hair styled, does take time. Upto 30 minutes. Which means I start work at 6 and take a “break” from 0730-0800 ish. It is an unearthly hour to start work. It was very hard initially. But gradually I have gotten used to it. In fact some days if I am unable to wake up (the weather is getting colder you see), I feel the same rush I used to feel running to get to the bus last year. I rush downstairs and heave a sigh of relief once logged in.

 The big changes are still with respect to the kids though. They do not go to after school care. Which means they have to be picked up as soon as the school closes. With after school we used to have a window to pick them up by since the care used to run till 6pm. But now, either of us has to make a dash at 3pm to pick them up. But once back, they are served any food that they might have asked for the previous day. It is fun discussing and deciding what they would want to have the next day.

 K and my weekend runs are a thing of the past. But work and weather depending, we are able to squeeze in 2 runs during the lunch hour. Beggars cant be choosers 😃

 In the midst of all this, I cannot help think about the lovely summer I had with Mummy and Papa. As I reach out for a bottle of spices labelled “Mummy masala” (it is a mix of coriander seeds, cumin seeds, fenugreek seeds, red chillies and some other spices, mixed in ‘mummy’ proportion), or make a cup of tea for myself (which Mummy used to make for me for so long) or clean the windows and panes (which Papa had totally taken over), I cannot help but think of my parents, who were so close and are so far away now. It is still a new feeling getting used to their absence.

 Well… this new is here to stay.  As a popular saying on social media goes “Remember the time when you wished for what you have now!”

What broke?

 I start work early. The house is dark when I clamber down the steps to our home-office. I put on a little light in the kitchen, get my glass of hot water and coffee and I am set for the next 1.5 hour-ish before the kids wake up. 

A few days back, I woke up and went into the kitchen. There were a few vessels which were next to the sink, left for drying. As the kettle boiled the water, I thought it would be a good idea to keep the dried vessels inside the cupboards. I went about doing it. I have a glass cutting board. As I was going to keep it away it fell down. With a big crash! I was devastated and my first thought was Gosh! Now all the cleaning of the glass! I put on the bigger light of the kitchen. I picked up the cutting board from the floor. It did not have a scratch. But I was sure I heard a big crash sound, the resouding sound of glass breaking. So what broke?

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I anyways picked up the cutting board. I managed a side ways glance. And I saw the door of the washing machine broken. Pic for proof. 

How did the cutting board manage to make a sideways kick to the washing machine (which is just under the kitchen work place) is beyond me. How did it manage to survive without a scratch is also beyond me.

I worried about the replacement and the response of K! But! Thankfully K was more intrigued by the quirk of the incident to be angry :D Some laws of physics are beyond us mere software professionals :D

Hai koi jawab?

 Pumpki had her graduation from nursery. It was quite a novel occasion and an excuse for her to make a trip to the nursery after 5 months of break. We were quite skeptical about how she would be, since she was not a very keen nursery goer to start with. But she got dressed. Once back she claimed she enjoyed the party, had a lot of pizza and cake and had fun playing some games with her friends. She was also very proud of her graduation picture. 

The next week she was to start school. The night before, we told her, that she would get ready with her didi and go to school. She asked us "But why do I have to go to school?" We said "To learn lots of things". To which she replied " But I already graduated from Little Buttons". 

To this, we had no answer!! Some argument that!

How it unfolded

 August was the summer holidays so luckily Papa, Mummy ended up spending a lot of time with us. They were to depart from the UK on a Monday, so we had a Covid test booked for them for the Saturday. We went to the city centre to get the test done. After that, we had some food stuff to get for K from one of his favourite shop. As we made the trek, we bought a hummus and falafel wrap and some cakes from the shop. We ventured through the farmer's market and got a few veggies in the kitty too. It was very pleasant to be walking around with Papa Mummy, unbothered by the kids or other worries. I really felt like a child going to the market with her parents. 

Once back home, we had the finishing touches on the packing and weighing to be done. The evening was spent chatting and calling up friends and saying final goodbyes over Whatsapp video. 

Sunday was the big day. Mummy was in full form. She kneaded some flour, made dosa batter. She also made a truckload of pakoras. It reminded me of the time when she was posted in a different city from Papa, my sis and I. She used to come to us over holidays and before going back, she would cook at break neck speed. She would stash the fridge with curries and snacks. Some would even go bad eventually. But that never deterred her from working just as hard in stocking the fridge the next time she came.

She was very keen on going for her evening walk one last time. And I was very keen on going for one last evening walk with her. So as soon as the kids had their "TV time", the mother-daughter duo scooted off. Every time we went for a walk, like a child Mummy would ask me if we can go this way or that. And I would agree and we would end up finding a new way. On that day too we took a new route, went through some dilapidated buildings. Mummy said "One last time, I wanted to see all this scenery and etch this in my mind" We love talking about plants and flowers, gardens and houses during our walks. Beside her that evening, I wasnt sure when I was going to have the pleasure of her company again. 

The evening was jam packed. We finally received our Covid negative results. But it was not a smooth sailing. We received Papa's results, but not Mummy. What ensued was frantic calls to the clinic. We had paid a lot of money for the private tests. We were informed that the test had gone "missing". We still had time, but it was harrowing. Finally, 90 minutes later, we received the results. After that we had to fill in 1001 forms. First there was something with British Airways, then a form with New Delhi Airport, then a record with Air Suvidha, and exemption report with Air Suvidha and a gazillion other things. Papa Mummy had a kilo of documentation to carry each. Thank God we have a printer at home :D What came forth with all that documentation was a good amount of fear too. We hoped that all the paper work was in order. 

The next day, they started off at 0830 leaving tears in their eyes and ours. They had a long journey. They reached London from Manchester. They had an over night stay in a hotel there. We were very nervous about this, since London is not familiar territory. Given their age, they were also a bit nervous. Luckily, they approached someone who showed them the way to the hotel. The hotel was very comfortable and they had a much needed rest and internet connection. This resulted in calls to us and to my sister. 

A special mention to that little girl of mine. My sister knew that I would be a bit upset and hence kept on calling me sporadically. We were feeling very distraught. To keep our minds off the matter, we got some lunch from outside. Then we went for a good long walk in the nearby woods. It was a holiday for us, and I would not be wrong in saying, that it was a an awful day. 

The next day, Papa Mummy had their onward flight to New Delhi. After 11.5 hours they finally reached Matribhoomi! The quarantine exemption approval had been accepted by Delhi government and thankfully Papa Mummy had received the email during their stay in London. They were able to come through immigration quite quickly. They had a further 7 hour long wait for their domestic flight to Bhubaneswar. Finally after 60 hours of leaving their home in UK, they reached their home in Bhubaneswar. 

My sister had ordered most grocery and food stuffs online which had been delivered to our tenant. The house had been cleaned by our help the previous day. What had seemed very very harrowing, was luckily a smooth and peaceful journey. 

Parents are so annoying

 They leave and we are left with all the emptiness.

It is so weird to turn the intruder alarm off when I wake up in the morning, because for the past 8 and a half months Papa who used to wake around 5 was in charge of it. 

It is disconcerting to walk downstairs and find every room dark. Mummy who used to wake up next used to ensure that all the curtains were drawn back and the rooms were awash with light. If it was one of the chill mornings,she would also turn the heater on to get the rooms to just the right temperature.

Mummy would not even let me make my morning glass of warm water and cup of coffee. She would ask me to log in straight away and bring the two things to my desk. 

Papa had a keen eye on the weather and used to advise us which day would be best to do the laundry and put the clothes out for drying. Being the economically wise one, he didn't want us to waste electricity in running the tumble drier. 

Papa would clean vaccum the house every alternate day, clean the windows and even the toilets and bath once a week.

Mummy of course had taken over the kitchen.

K and I had time to go on runs on a weekend morning. We used to go grocery shopping together leaving the kids at home. All this was taken for granted and normal. 

We had immense help, even for childcare. But the most important thing we had was the vibes. 

There was a genuine feeling of love and warmth. There was a flow of conversation. Out of the blue we would start discussing politics or economics or people and relatives. We would play wordscapes which a word game or word search. Mummy would whip up delicacies just like that. Her uber simple cabbage curry or her decadent carrot halwa or the awesome jhal muri which is a dry and spicy version of bhel puri with hot ginger tea on rainy mornings without anyone asking for it - it was nothing but love. 

I made a trip to the supermarket yesterday and I had a blob in my throat when I saw a melon. Mummy and I would cut and much through an entire fruit in one afternoon with Pumpki joining in. As I went through the biscuits aisle I realised we wouldn't need rich tea biscuits for a long time. We don't eat them, but it was a regular when papa mummy were here. 

The house is cleaner now, since there is way less cooking and less people. The rooms are stark and empty. There is a coldness in everything. Everything reeks and smells of them. It is weird. We are going through the motions of living, but it feels weird. As if an important thread is missing. We are at a weird stage in life where our mental age is closer to our parents. So we understand them and I am sure they see themselves in us. It was a lovely stress free time that we had. We will take a while to recover and stop missing them. 

Best summer ever!

 It seems they take forever to come,but once a year the summer does grace us. And it is lovely every single time. 

This year there has been a lot of work from home thanks to the pandemic. But a work day is a work day whether from home or office. I had my first set of holidays booked for August. I had 2 days and 2 weeks off work. And I was eagerly waiting for it. 

As a run up I finished quite an important chunk of work. The day I started my holidays, Papa found out about the British Airways commencing service to India. We had made a lot of attempts to get on the Vande Bharat repatriation flights but with no luck. And we did not want to get on the wrong side of law by not taking any steps to get their return booked. So we went ahead and booked the flight for the 24th of August. But, the flights kept getting rescheduled. Thankfully I was on holiday to be on calls, waiting a good 30-40 mins to get the next available flight booked. 

That's the drab part of the holidays. Now for the fun part. I researched a load of outdoor places we could go to for free. It was not too difficult. There were lots of woodlands and walking paths nearby. Also there was no dearth of parks around either. I managed to round up the kids to some place or other every day. It was a bit of a struggle getting the kids ready and enthused for the walk outdoors. But once they got started, they loved it whey single time and asked for more. 

I also managed to catch up on some good ol reading! I finished two books! Holidays have a wonderful impact don't they! Even though I might have been physically more active, I wasn't tired. I felt well rested and could easily go till 1 in the morn reading a book and be up with no sign of tiredness. It is never the case with a work day where even if I hit the bed at 2200 I feel tired in the morning. And all I do all the day long is sit in front of a laptop! 

I did a load of cleaning and cleansing of toys. Cleaning doesn't mean disinfection. Means actual dumping of 'not so often used' toys in the bin. It was a very satisfying feeling and something I had been meaning to do. There were a few more decluttering operations undertaken around the house, but the toy box cleanse took the cherry on the cake. Getting the uniforms sorted for schools was another big yay! 

My holidays gets over this weekend. It's K 's turn for the next week. And I in a moment of emotion told Chiyaa of it. She exclaimed 'wow! The last days of bossiness and then it's fun, fun, fun!' I was aghast! When I told K, he chuckled and said ' I wouldn't choose me :D' 

Well I am not complaining even if Chiyaa thinks she had days of bossiness! Lots of check boxes ticked. The weather was perfect with not a single day of rain. It was a very wholesome holiday. Papa and mummy's unplanned stay was an added bonus. I could not have asked for a better summer!