This funny feeling

This might end up being a very mushy post and I will end up hating myself for writing this. But then what the heck - this is the only way to get the thoughts out of my system I suppose.

Lately, I have been missing K a lot. Its not like we are in different places but still - its been 4 days since I spoke to him. And no its not because of any fight - its because of work. His work is way too hectic and he has to go through the whole rigmarole of working late nights. So most of our conversations are through the short messaging services. But how much conversation can you make when you have one deadline or the other breathing down your neck. By the time K gets back home which is mostly around 0130 hours yours truly is fast asleep cos I am not at all those pati vrata types who dont eat or sleep till hubby dear returns. My sister calls me a "sleepaholic" and I never trouble my stomach because if it rumbles hell breaks loose. Mornings when I am up around 0600ish, I have to scoot around the house to get the lunches and breakfasts ready. K has time just to scan through the morning newspaper and if he finds anything interesting he brings it to our knowledge. In the meanwhile mil tries to give him an update of what she might have done the previous day. Poor thing, she always has something interesting happening each day and has some tale to tell about how she spent her day ( being a working woman till last year - she finds each day at home different from the other :) ) And she gets hardly 15 minutes with her son. After that done, K scurries out to catch his bus to office and both the women are left with an empty feeling. K is really the sun of the house( not son) - the house revolves around him :)

I understand that he has to work it all out because there were some resource issues in the last couple of years because of which his performance got slackened. And this is the opportunity for him to rise and shine.

Keeping the hectic days in mind, I had planned a small outing just for the 2 of us because we were getting a bunch of holidays in the month of April. But then the scroogy manager of K's did not allow even a days leave - so much so he said, that that time everyone might be needed in office even during the holidays. That miffed me so much that I was all mowed down the whole day through Monday. I even thought of writing a saddy sad post enumerating that feeling, but never got the chance. Then gradually I thought, such things keep happening - he has got to work, rather than making him feel guilty by making a long face, I should try to support him as far as possible.

And day after tomorrow, I am going to my parents place. In the middle I will make a stop at Hyderabad to finish some pending tasks and I will also get to meet my the people I used to stay with there. I will get the chance to meet atleast some of the folks I mentioned here. But still I dont know why I am feeling a bit weird. I am not sure is it because, I will be missing K since after a span of 1 year and 1 month and 8 days, I will actually be away from him? Is it because I have to undertake a travel alone after some 6 trips undertaken last year, all of them with K ? Is it so that I who had had so many journeys all alone is feeling queasy because I had gotten used to him being with me?

I am not sure whats wrong? Why am I so disconcerted? Why am I feeling all jittery? Why am I so restless? Whats this funny feeling?


Comments

Deeps said…
Oooooh!What a lovely post,Amrita!Your love for your husband is oozing out of this post:)
I'm sure you'll get to spend lots nd lots of time with him soon.

You have a great time at your parents'.Wish you and yours all the very best in life.God bless:)
mudita said…
Hi Amrita, I have been married for 20yrs, out of which i have worked for 7 or 8 odd years. When i look at young couples these days where both partners are working and under pressure to meet deadlines all the time, i often amaze at how despite all that happening at the respective work fronts, they find it within them to pump time and energy into their marriages. 'Coz definitely one needs to keep working on one's marriage all the time. Your post gave me a little window into the everyday lives of a DI couple. Thanks.
Abhishek Khanna said…
take a deep breath.. and chill..

Such times do come. These deadlines and projects are really killing..

past 2 weeks i worked a minimum of 16-18 hours per day.. phew
Ashma said…
Hmm.. I can relate to you.. It's like u get used to being with someone day and night.. and ur world also starts revolving around him.. its no wonder that u miss him when he's not with u.. very natural.. nice post.. :)
After reading the post ... I got the effect of watching 10 mega serials simultaneously, that much of pathos mixed in this post ;-))))

We have to hear from K. Who knows, his blog might have a happy post for the same reason ;-))))
Renu said…
Amrita you are always so sweet, so affectionate, and so thought ful at such a young age.
he has got to work, rather than making him feel guilty by making a long face, I should try to support him as far as possible.--------when I was young..I would crib so much, make long faces and cold war will go for long period and now i regret those days so much:)
Piper .. said…
hey, I so relate to this. The G is always busy! Even if he`s home by 7, he`s always working. Endless deadlines and stuff. I sometimes feel that life is passing us by. Then I think maybe I should be supportive and let him work in peace. Its normal. This restless, uncomfortable feeling that something`s not right. But trust me, it`ll get better. I hate to travel alone too. I feel safe when I`m at home. But dont worry,I`m sure you`ll have a fabulous time. I can so understand what you`re going through Amrita. I`m going through the same thing too. Hugs. Cheer up now.
oh my...such a cute post..ur hubby is indeed a lucky man... :)

waise virgin mobile use karo...wo dekha na ab sirf 10 paiso mein sms wala ad :P


and projects toh aate jaate rehte hai...so don worry :)
Amrita said…
@Deeps - :)
@Mudita- Thanks for visiting. And you dont seem nething close to being married for 20 yrs...!! You look very young from the profile pic!
@AK - Haan lambi saans bharo aur aankh band karo , will try that in the train mebbe
@Ashu - Now I suppose your Q is answered ki kab hubby ka ghar apna ghar ban jaata hai hai na?
@Satish - Abhi bhi mazak soojh raha hai.. kisiki jaan pe hai (Means you are still kidding and here i am literally screwed!)
Amrita said…
@Renu - Thank you. Maybe Ks frankness helps a lot since he tells everything I know what he expects from me
@Piper- So we are in the same boat? :S
@DD - You liked the post! thank you. feel honored because I least expected a guy to think as you did. I thought most men would dismiss the post as a demented womans ramblings :)
niceguy251 said…
Amrita,

Careers do play havoc into early days of marriage, no even later. So it is upto both the partners to make the most of whatever time they have together. May you both have many happy times to remember in your old age. Now why do you have to go alone to your parents place? Can it not be postponed so both of you go together? Anything special??? Wish you all the best.

Take care
just cook a breakfast like taani and all will be okay .

leaving jokes apart , distance makes the heart grow fonder (aapke case me yahi lagta hai :) )
Amrita said…
@Niceguy - Nay as i said hes too caught up in his work and by the time he gets free i may not be in a position to get leaves :(
@Amy - haaaaaaan sahi kaha...
Nitin said…
:) --- have a good time at parent place.. enjoy hols
its love, my dear! Love spoils you :-)

Good luck!
Ekta said…
awww..its ok to write a mushy post!!
Hope u get more time with ur Hubby soon!

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