Perhaps this is called settling down

Leeds has not been treating us well. Chiyaa started her first day in school with amazing promise. When I picked her up, she said ‘I had a brilliant day at school. I was not shy at all.’ I was so proud of her! It would all be fine. She was ok the first couple of days after which she started getting reluctant to go to school. This was a far cry from how she was in ipswich where the mention of school used to brighten her up. In fact she used to get annoyed when the weekend came. We were very sad to see this facet of hers. We hoped it would settle down with time. It in fact got worse. She started to cry when we dropped her off. As a change K started dropping her instead of me. He is a fun dad while I tend to get a bit emotional. Though I don’t show it we wondered if the vibes might be rubbing on. She did not cry with daddy around, but she lacked friends. She did not have peers to run a mock with. She did not have classmates to go crazy with. As I used to prod, she said she had her meals alone and played by herself during the lunch breaks. She mentioned playing with an older student sometimes. I felt sorry for my child. I felt sad for my child. But then my mom and sister gave me strength. We had changed a lot of schools as kids since mom and dad had transferrable jobs. We might have felt sad during the changes, but it didn’t scar us. In fact we are more adaptive to changes cos of those experiences. Yeah it does feel sad to see ones offspring go through pain, but this pain would make her stronger. 

Pumpki on the other hand was having troubles of her own. She had been signed up to attend a certain daycare. But I saw another right next to Chiyaa’s school. I declined the place in the previous daycare and went forth for the new one. I thought it would go smoothly from then on. As usual there were a couple of settling in sessions. I knew she would cry. I knew she would be upset. Our experience with Chiyaa had prepared us for the worst. There would be a couple of instances where she would spend time in the nursery to get to know the staff. Then she would have to start off. Like Chiyaa had. She would have trouble getting used, but prior experience made us feel she would cope. The surprise came from the daycare. After a couple of sessions, they said since she was not ‘settled’ and they would continue with settling sessions. Meaning she would come intermittently and try to settle in. Err... I had no choice. But the troublesome part was they were calling me every time she cried a bit uncontrollably. And my dear Pumpki can cry real loudly. Secondly I was paying for the sessions. I never asked for the sessions. Why would I pay for them when it was me who was coming and comforting her every time she got upset? I compared notes and none of my friends had seen such a bizarre set up.  The sessions were also so few and far between that it was going to do no good to anyone. We chose to fail fast. I got in touch with the previous nursery that K had booked. They too had the same long drawn settling in sessions. But.... the good points were:- they took the child away and did not call parents back and I did not pay for them. 

But the visitations were to be over 4 weeks! Managing a toddler with work for 4 weeks is pretty onerous. Anyone who has worked from home can vouch for it. I took a week’s emergency leave.  Amma came as a saving grace in this. She volunteered to come over. It was like manna from heaven, without that support, surviving through the on and off nursery arrangement would have been a night mare. 

I used to feel very distraught initially. I used to feel ill at ease and suffocated by all the changes. Everything made me miss Ipswich. We were so settled there, but one thing after another in Leeds made me crave for that comfort which was Ipswich. It used to make us think that we unnecessarily spoiled the apple cart. I remembered the last days in Ipswich when I was talking to one of Chiyaa’s classmate’s mom. She mentioned that moving houses was the next stressful thing after having a baby ! Wow! That must be true. She also mentioned that it takes around 6 months to settle down. As I was going through the flurry, I thought of her words. And I felt, there was no need for me to rush around. I think I had to let it go and let time take it’s course. Things have a way of evening out don’t they?