Same old but still feels new

Things are definitely crazy. How time goes from 6 in the morning to 10 at night still baffles me. Well not technically baffles me, I do know where it goes :D . There is first the couple of quiet hours when I am at total peace with my work. Some days are real productive while others are weird where I am stuck and just want anyone from my team to be up to troubleshoot. Coding is a lot of team work you see. 

Once the kids are up, its managing them and their school work. Again some days are a breeze where the kids are quite self sufficient. But other days which are oh so mad with me literally ripping the hair off my head! There are days when they are crazy noisy and I end up doing most of my work incorrectly. They end up getting a bit of a scolding, with a load of guilt on either sides :(  I hear Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! incessantly all through the day. It sure is maddening. But I love the lived in feeling of the house as well. The girls play in the living room and make a total mess. The house is littered with coloring equipment, paper, dolls and what not. I do not enjoy the million and one times the cleaning operation has to be undertaken. But it is lovely to see them living and making memories in this home. Kids leave the house a bit too soon with the inching away from parents happening early on. But now when I see them growing and changing literally 24/7, I feel an odd sense of satisfaction. I see the difference between last year and this. Chiyaa needed so much more monitoring a year ago. She is so much more independent now. She handles her classes by herself. We have taught her to take printouts and she has her own set up. She is all grown up chatting with her friends and sharing gifs. Its hilarious how they find the gifs so amusing and a bit annoying too when she spends that much time searching gifs :D Pumpki was not in school last year. But this time around she is. Managing her is harder, because she needs more help. Still it is endearing to see how her mind works and how she approaches her tasks at school. They are missing out on the social aspect a bit. As a person, I do not give a huge importance on that. Yeah unsocial me!

The multi tasking doesn't end. In the midst of calls, we have to act as technical support for the classes. In the midst of work, we have to answer demands for water, toilet, pencils, papers and a thousand things that kids can need. It is nerve wracking. There is not a moment of 100% concentration except the wee hours of the morning. But there is a strange pleasure in the relentless work too. Earlier there was the mad rush of getting out of the house, maneuvering the commute and dealing with people face to face. Now there is the mad rush trying to do many things at the same time. But somehow I prefer the latter mad rush. Being the unsocial loner that I am, I far more enjoy the craziness of my own family than deal with strangers. So though things are definitely busier, there is a strange sense of calm. 

I hope the kids cherish these memories. I know its so much harder for a lot of families. I count my blessings as I feel the comfort of being able to provide for my kids. I treasure how lucky I am that I can spend time with my children inside and outside the house without being burdened by financial or other worries. By the grace of God, our elders back home are also doing well which is reassuring. The disease will leave the face of the world changed. But as we are riding the storm, all I feel is gratitude.