Step 8: final moments with family

 We were to start back from Bangalore on Sunday afternoon. The morning one of K's cousin had plans to visit us. It was amazing to have the cousins meet up and our kids play along. It is splendid to watch how kids shed all barriers and get going with other kids, even if meeting them for the first time. As the afternoon drew to a close, we had to bid each other tearful goodbyes and board the train to return to Chennai.

At Chennai we had a couple of days before it was the end of the lovely time. The Monday was spent in a lot of bureaucratic tasks. Thankfully a lot was getting done at a quick and easy pace. It was really a sign of the new times that there was so much efficiency in so many government departments. Tuesday was spent visiting some more of K's side of the family. The kids were slathered with love and pampered to the hilt. I am sure they could not have asked for more. 

We had to start realigning for the return. It was amazing to have spent all the time with people who valued us. K and I were very happy with our friends doing so well in their lives. The chats I had with them ranging from college to kids to menopause was brilliant. There was just so much over arching affection. I dont have a lot of friends and still this bunch of people made so much effort over the past days, it was enough for me.  It was one of the most amazing time this year and I will be ever thankful to God for it :) 

Step 7: another weekend

A long weekend awaited us after the whirlwind week. Sam had met me over the madness of the weekend. We didn't get a chance to have a proper chat. She decided to avail her optional holiday on Friday and come over. There was a ton of food that we had ordered that morning, from close to 8 different places :)  Sam could sample all the food when she came in around lunch time. Then it was time for us to get chatting! We spoke about myriad things and time flew till Sam had to call it a day and go back home. 

The Saturday was planned for my friend B's house. Since her place was quite far, we were habouring the idea of going over on Friday night itself. We would save ourselves from the mental traffic which seems to materialise out of nowhere in Bangalore. Her house was an eternity away. But it was an oasis once we entered. It was brilliant being in the huge bungalow. Kids went along to play, adults got chatting as we got a tour of her massive house :) Post dinner, around 2230, her hubby suggested a drive to get some tea from a nearby vendor. I have never done such a thing in my life. To be honest, I am extremely boring. I plan to outings to start at a certain time and I expect myself and all I know to be back by 2000. Impromptu trips, middle of the night plans are something I have never done. But it was super exciting to be part of such a plan. 7 of us fitted ourselves into the car and off we went for tea and ice cream. We made it around 2300 when the tea shop was closed. The ice cream place was wrapping up as well and we somehow managed to get one ice cream to go from the very reluctant staff who just wanted to go home. 

Back home, the kids had ice cream around mid night and finally hit the bed. B and I then sat down in the living room for a good old chat. We spoke about a gazillion things under the sun, till around 2 in the morning, when she felt hungry and we decided that we should goto bed :D 

In the middle of the night, I had a nightmare. Not the dreams kind, but a real one. I woke to use the toilet and in the middle of my business, I saw a lizard on the door. I shrieked! The lizard shrieked ( I hope) and plopped onto the floor. I screamed again and the lizard ran out from under the gap in the door. I somehow summoned my courage and ran out chanting the names of all the Gods I know. Took some time for my heart beat to return to normal, but then all was well :) 

B was somehow up at 7 in the morning preparing a delicious egg sandwiches and dosas. (My family is still in love with the sandwiches and asks for it every now and then) And she did mention hearing a scream at night and asked if everything was ok ;) She had planned get together with R's family and another college mate. Once everyone was assembled, there was gorgeous food and again wholesome conversations. Kids got along like wildfire and adults were having a lovely time till it was the call to wrap up. It was awful telling the goodbyes, but I couldnt be thankful enough to dearest B for being the wonderful hostess that she was. 

We came back home around 1800 in the evening and were still reeling from the wonderful time we had had. 

Step 6: get the work week on

 Monday there were absolutely no plans. The idea was to rest and relax at home. I was still feeling unwell with the fever and decided to sleep it out. My friends started texting that they were feeling unwell with fever as well. 

After lunch I decided to take a nap. After some time I had K waking me up for a trip to the mall. Since my niece did not have any extra curricular that day, the plan was to go and do some shopping for each other in the mall. The cousins and the adults started in full enthusiasm with shoes, proceeded to toys and makeup. Finally it was some scrumptious food at a place called Punjab Grill. 

That was a wrap on Monday. On Tuesday I visisted my school friend P. It was so amazing to meet her one on one after the somewhat loud get together over the weekend. Her two rescue beagles kept the children super entertained. Her hubby is a gem of a person. Down to earth, calm and composed, he was amazing with the kids. Even after they ended up smashing two glass artefacts in her house. 😩

Wednesday was a day which was again reserved for shopping! And the best kind of shopping. Books! My sis in law had planned to take us to Blossoms at M G Road. It was an interesting journey in the Bangalore metro. The trains ran on schedule and were a welcome change from the maddening traffic. We reached Blossoms and spent close to 90 minutes shopping. We had a huge load of books for everyone. It was simple amazing to spend time in the old shop and look at the various books. We came out with close to 30 books for all of us. Shopping is tiring and what came next was - of course! - food. This time some delectable pizza from The Pizza Bakery. 

Thursday was literally doing nothing at all at home. We slept, read the books we had bought the previous day, watched TV and the IPL matches, took walks around the lovely apartment complex and got ready for the long weekend 😎

Step 5: foot off the accelerator

 After the adrenaline subsided, on Sunday morning the body was hit by reality. I had a high fever. I would have loved to lie in, but then there is nothing a hot beverage can't fix 😀 So armed with a cup of coffee I got on with getting ready for the day. Sam had planned a lunch with a bunch of friends who were congregating from different parts of Bangalore. Evening a quick trip to her mom's and then the night was still up in the air. Since my girls had been bored out of their brains with majority of adult interactions the previous day, they voted to stay at my sis-in-laws house. My niece was also around so there would be some good cousin time. 

I whipped something up for the kids, since the measurement of spices they were used to was quite hard to fathom by others. And off we went. I had given K the option to stay back as well. Since I was 'phoneless' and Bangalore was new and different, he opted to come in. We met up at a Thai restaurant and had a blast chatting. We were getting stares from other patrons who were probably getting disturbed by us. But do little girls care 😛After lunch we rested at Sam's house and got on with some more chatting. K was a gem just minding himself. I love that guy 😀

We visisted Sam's mom in the evening. It was surreal meeting them after 26 years. It is easy to be triggered by people from the past. Aunty was emotional to see us all. She had made some amazing food. It took me back to the years in Rourkela where having aunty's food was a norm. Sam used to bring the tastiest lunch boxes. And along with it, I had many sleep overs at hers. Her birthday parties were a hoot too. Having the food at Bangalore took me back to the school days and and especially her out of the world katori chaat. 

A trip down memory lane  done, it was time to navigate the absolutely horrendous traffic of the city to get home. I would have loved to stay over at Sam 's a true homage to school days, but I was feeling a bit under the weather and was also a bit worried for the kids. So good byes done, it was a wrap over the weekend. 

Step 4: reset and restart

 Bengaluru was a new destination within the span of 2 days. We were putting up at my sister in law's place. The girls loved exploring their new set up. Since my sis in law has a teenage daughter, her home was filled with things that my kids loved - books, art equipments, board games. They had too many choices to begin with. They went away and busied themselves while K and Amma managed a nap and I chatted with my sis in law. It was very nice to see everyone drift off and be comfortable. Once my niece was back from school, it was time for the cousins to have some fun.The girls were meeting up after a long time and they do not have a lot in common. But it was endearing to see them bond over food, school, TV shows and complaints about their moms! 

In the evening my sis-in-law and my niece sat down to watch the IPL match. I have never watched a single IPL match in my life. But their enthusiasm was contagious for sure. K and I and to some extent the kids got down to watching the match. We have truly been bitten by the bug, so much so, we continue to follow the matches back here in the UK :)

The weekend was to be a roller coaster. We started off in the morning to meet my two besties, Ashu and Sam. Ashu had made the effort to come all the way from Pune to Bengaluru. It was a horrendous ride full of traffic, but we eventually made it. It was amazing to meet them. There is something about people outside your family who have known you over decades! It an unmissable feeling of being loved, by people who just walked into your life by pure coincidence! We all had lunch together and then chatted away. I could feel some of the contextual conversations were beyond my understanding. I did not get the real estate market, the financial market, the job situations and a few others since those are different in the UK. It was interesting to listen and lovely to see how well people are doing. 

The evening was a trip to another college friends house. R was hosting B who had made a trip from Odisha to see us - just for one day. Again, seeing these amazing bunch of people - that is what nirvana must feel like. Just utter peace - no questions asked. We chatted along, K and R's hubby also had no seeming awkwardness for folks meeting for the first time. While the best part was R's kids and mine. Being more or less the same age group, they just made their own little group and started playing as if they had known each other from before! 

We made a trip to a restaurant to have dinner. The purported aim which was having  some good food was futile. But the entire duration was definitely filled with lots and lots of laughter and giggles, as if we were school girls :D 

All good things come to an end, and we had to bid good night and good bye to dearest B. As I hugged her, someone remarked that this was like us leaving our hostel for the last and final time back in college. And as B hugged me, she just whispered take care. And till date I miss her. Next time, I am making a trip just for her! 

That was one hellova Saturday. It was just the beginning! 

Step 3: maiden train journey in India

 We had expected that there would be some trouble with the kids having an early start at 5 for Bangalore. Surprisingly the girls were quite well managed and got ready on time. There was a quick ride to the train station. It was around 5 in the morning, but there were so many people running. There was the usual hustle and bustle of activities that is integral to India. That itself was caffeine for me 😀

At the station it was a cacophony of noises. There were poeple on the floor sleeping while waiting for the next train. There were mad rushes and anxious runs. Pumpki was quite intrigued by it all. She asked if people sleep in the station. I clarified that no, perhaps it was a long wait and finding no other way to rest, people have taken to the floor. 

In the midst of all this, Miss Pumpki needed a wee. We ventured to the paid toilets. They were quite ok and being used by all sorts of people. But there was only an Indian toilet there, which scared poor Pumpki 😀 I found it all too hilarious to be honest 😂 A kind lady offered that we could use to a/c waiting room for some western toilets. Off we went! Toilet used, we went to patiently wait for our train.

Since we had a lot of luggage, we had to resort to hiring a porter. This was again something that was a new experience for the girls. Once seated in the coach, we were inundated with IRCTC catering personnel screaming Chai, vada, puri subzi, samosa, various biscuits and cakes. It was annoying. At the same time, it evoked nostalgia. Back in the day train journeys were a part and parcel of holidays. The journey could be anything from 12 to 22 hours long. I remember having the smell of iron on my hands when I stepped out of the destination and feeling the sensation of motion many hours after deboarding. The journeys used to be tiring. But they had a weird charm. Buying from the various vendors, sleeping on the berths, chatting and bonding with co-passengers. Every journey was unique. This journey wasn't unique like the ones I have made in the past. But it was unique taking the girls through this special experience. They are quite composed in themselves and do not react profusely at anything. I am not sure if it was an indelible journey. I hope they enjoyed it and will talk about it once they are older as I fondly remember my train journeys 🙂

5.5 hours later we arrived in garden city Bengaluru!

Step 2: first day at home

 The girls are here in Chennai after a span of nearly 6 years. There is not much that they remember about their home. 

It was the dead of the night that we reached Chennai. K was there to receive us. Once we reached home, we unpacked our change of clothes. I went off to relax while the girls got busy with their paati. They were finding it a bit hard to get to sleep, so amma took them over for a stroll around the apartments. They were surprised to see the number of stray cats and dogs! Once walk done, they were a bit peckish and went on to have a quick breakfast of some cereal. The UK sleep cycle eventually kicked in and they drifted off to sleep. 

K and I after we were refreshed ventured to get some shopping done. Primary among them was some utensils and pressure cooker. Shopping done, we came home and had a gorgeous home cooked lunch. Living 3 mins away from the beach mandates an evening trip to the beach. That's where we proceeded. The girls just loved it to the hilt. They were surprised by the warmth of the water. And since the water was warm there was no end to the time they could spend!  

But we had to draw them out around 1900 to wrap up soon, for next day we were off to Bangalore!

Step 1: the onwards journey

When we travelled the first time from UK to India, it was with a 5 month old Chiyaa. She was a naughty raucous baby who had to be transferred from the baby bassinet to our arms intermittently. I had a few moments of calm when she slept off and I could enjoy my meal in peace. As I sat waiting for her next demand, I saw two ladies who were watching movies with subtitles on. I was reading the text and watching them sip their gin and tonic and having a 'pleasant' journey. I thought what a fry cry from my dishevelled state was their journey.

It does not take long for time to turn around. This time when I was travelling to India, I had a 7 year old and 11 year old in tow. I had some worries, but I was amazed by how smooth it was (touchwood) The formalities at the airport were done smoothly. I had come well prepared with food for them. So we took the time to recharge ourselves. Once we boarded the girls just busied themselves on games provided in the flight console. They needed the slightest bit of nudge to take a nap or to have their food. I managed to watch 1.5 movie in the flight and was pretty much like the ladies 7 years ago.

The flight was surprisingly ahead of schedule. And we managed  to get out quite quickly. And what greeted us was beautiful India! 

A near perfect wedding

The D day came with a lot of anxiety. The auspicious time for the wedding was set at 1400 which has gave us ample time to get ready. The information that the strike would reduce in its impact after noon also made the possibility of a trouble free wedding more prominent. Lichie was to be ferried to the beauty parlor for her bridal makeup. Under normal circumstances she would have been royally taken in a car. Even I was supposed to get a 'party' makeup. But papa had to take her in his bike avoiding the main roads. There were some ruffians who stopped and cross questioned him when he was returning. But he managed to get home safely. This made my travel a bit of an additional risk. So I gave the beauty treatment a miss :( 

The coordination of cooking, the groom's procession, the bringing of Lichie back to the venue, all were done in a bit of a round about way since the main roads and four wheelers needed avoiding. Everything took longer to get done. But everything got done and got done to near perfection.

No function of the scale of an Indian wedding can be without its disappointments and issues. In fact more than the good parts we tend to discuss what went wrong. On the wedding day in the midst of the wedding rituals there was a sudden need of a yellow saree. Mummy had to go home and get it urgently. The priest painted a picture as if the wedding would not proceed without one. But  he carried on as normal and mummy missed a very important ritual of 'inviting the groom'. The yellow saree and never used and mummy missed her last chance at doing an important ritual. She still rues the fact.

After the wedding since it was getting late, there was no time for photo op of close family with the newly weds. 

But the most disappointing was another incident. Lichie's in laws hosted a gathering two days after the wedding. It was close 7 hours road trip. We started in the right earnest. But a few minutes on Pumpki started getting car sick. She was sick a couple of times and then drifted off to sleep. Then Chiyaa got sick too! She was sick two to three times. Then they started taking turns and within 1.5 hours journey they had vomitted around 5 times each. Mummy thought it was not wise for us to continue since the children would get dehydrated and famished and asked for another vehicle which would ferry us home. She and papa continued since Lichie would be waiting for them. We were all miserable. Both K and I were eager to make the trip and had spent hours deciding clothes and ironing them. Lichie was eager to meet us and mummy and papa felt very bad at leaving us with the poorly kids. At home I tried researching means to get to Lichie's place by train. But it seemed too tedious. I was advised against it since the journey and return would really put  a strain on us. We had a perfect staycation at home. I have not been a lot in our Bhubaneswar house since the year we moved in to it after construction was when I moved to my hostel for graduation studies. So being in the house, taking care of the locking and water and lil nuances was a very different feeling. 

With the gathering at Lichie's in laws drawing to a close  wedding was officially over. I was not looking forward to the return. 

At home

Getting home was just the beginning. There was packing, meeting and greeting relatives, eating gorgeous food, dressing up in some really fine clothes and of course taking pictures - lots and lots of them. 

The wedding was on the 24th and there was an elaborate function at home on 23rd. Towards the afternoon we started hearing news that the next day was going to be a state wide strike aka band. We did not take it so seriously. The issue was not one which would take root in the state's capital. Towards evening another political party lent it's support to the strike. Things were getting intense . Papa and mummy started getting calls from people. 'What to do tomorrow', ' what are you planning on', 'how will you manage', ' is the wedding still on at the stated time ' were some of the absurd but troubling questions being asked. My parents came back with the same standard reply 'the wedding is happening' and 'we trust God, things will be taken care of'. There was a point in the evening where mummy broke down. She just felt too overwhelmed. We all rallied around her and she felt better after sometime. The day of rituals, catering to guests, packing food and sending off along with the anxiety of the strike took a toll on her. We had a ritual in the evening when we had to goto a goddess' temple to pray. The chanting and the prayers made us all feel better. There would be challenges but as the cliché goes 'we would overcome'. 

It was time to get into action. There was lot of arrangement around the food and the decoration and the car which would bring the groom. The car in charge  initially said that he was scared to get the car out. My cousins had to call a few well placed officials to ensure that post noon there would be no issues. Still the driver was a bit nervous to drive a decorated car through a main road. The owner of the tours service said that he would drive the car if all failed and he was not able to get a driver. Eventually on the day it was the owner who drove the car. The DJ confirmed that no matter what he would be at the venue with his equipment for dhinchak music.

 The estimated number of guests was 800. With the strike being fully functional the number dwindled to 500. We had to let go of some of the raw materials for food.  There was an advance of Rs 2000 which had been paid for a type of fish for a dish.   It would have been a risk going all the way to the vendor and getting the fish. So it was decided to bear the loss of the money and not go for the dish. The mutton was to be procured from a place called Salepur 350 kms from Bhubaneswar and brought to Cuttack around 30 kms from Bhubaneswar. The mutton vendor was not willing to come all the way to Cuttack so a few of my cousins had to drive to Salepur. A three hours journey followed by staying awake to ensure that there was no adulteration of the meat. Indian weddings are indeed a feat. Another prized item was prawns of which 30 kilos had been ordered. My uncle got in touch with a few restaurant owners he knew in case they would be able to get a few kilos. Eventually we were able to do away with 7 kilos. 

People were pulling all sorts of strings. People were involved to the hilt. All our paternal relatives started at 3 in the morning to make it to Bhubaneswar before 6 which was the start time of the strike. It was amazing to see their efforts. My sister and I  are not actively in touch with them. And they all came with their families and with such enthusiasm! I did not recognise a lot of them. But it was brilliant catching up with them. It was like old times when going and meeting them was an yearly activity. Cousins who were 5 years old were 20 now. Uncles whose marriage I had attended as a child were grandparents! It was exhilarating to meet all of them. 

A  distant  uncle came from Bahrain cos he could not resist the chance of seeing 'Lichie as a bride'. Another acquaintance who was papa 's student and later my teacher came from Canada.  A colleague of K's whose dad happened to be papa 's colleague caught up with us. It was just amazing! It made me feel so connected. It was buzzing. It was psychedelic. It was stimulating. It made me feel at home.

Getting home

My sister's marriage was something like an imaginary longitude in our family's timeline. Papa said he would come to the UK to visit us 'once Lichie got married'. My parents had plans with investments and places to visit 'once she got married'. I used to look at stuff in shops and say to myself 'I will get this for Lichie 's wedding'. One time mummy, the kids and I were walking through the markets and there was a street artist playing music. Chiyaa started dancing. Mummy said ' I hope to see them dancing like this for Lichie 's wedding'. I think I have made it amply clear how much we were looking forward to it. We hoped and prayed for the event. 

Once the alliance was fixed, we could not wait to make the trip to India. As I said in my earlier posts, we kind of defined everything as 'before India trip' and 'after India trip'. I had no interest in working and strangely neither did K. I kept thinking what would the kids wear for this occasion and that. My wardrobe was totally sorted by mummy and sis - more by my sister - every detail considered including makeup and accessories. Mummy had also laboriously worked on the children's dresses and stitched them herself. But she wasn't sure of the measurements and hence I had to get some backup dresses for them. K's attire was again taken care of by sissy. 

We packed carefully considering we had two young kids and a very long journey. We had a transit of 4 hours in Abu Dhabi. Then a domestic flight from Delhi to Bhubaneswar after a halt of 4 hours. We had anticipated that 4 hours would be adequate to finish immigration, claim baggage and rush for the next check in. But Republic Day celebrations played spoil sport. Our domestic  flight was advanced by 3 hours which would have made catching the connecting to Bhubaneswar impossible. The next flight was after 10 hours. We had no other way but to reschedule. Since it was a very long wait, again we were left with no option but to book a day's stay in the airport hotel. 

Thankfully we came to know this information a week in advance which made planning easier. The day we were to reach Bhubaneswar was the day of our 10th marriage anniversary. Mummy had kept a prayer at home since she had to offered to do so once Lichie's marriage was finalised. It was a coincidence that the prayer and the anniversary were on the same day though it made sense later. Now with us having to catch a later flight, we would not be in a position to attend the prayer. We spent the day of our 10th marriage anniversary in an airport hotel. 10 months ago I was planning an elaborate trip to mark a decade of wedded ... coexistence. Once K was out of job, I totally ditched that plan. He got his job and Lichie got hitched at the exact same time. So I looked forward to a grand family get together to mark the event. A week to the date and how luck played it's trick. We were to spend the day in a hotel.

We tried to pep ourselves by saying that we would visit places around. We had nearly 10+ hours of wait which would be adequate to step out to nearby Dwaraka. But on the day, we were beat. We reached the hotel and Pumpki and I were the first to hit the snooze button. K and Chiyaa had plans for the complimentary breakfast but a 30 mins wait proved too much for tired eyes. They too slept off. 5 hours later we woke up rejuvenated. Had an elaborate photo session in the hotel lobby and then made our way to the boarding gates. 

The mandatory rest did well for us. We were pepped up. Reaching Bhubaneswar after close to 36 hours seemed - well I dont have words. I can't express it. It's not like I am filled with jubilation. It's not like I get all emotional and exalted. I think the word is content. It's the same feeling as sitting down after standing for a long time. It's the same feeling as just closing the tired eyes for a minute. It's just feels good.

Hangover and a few thoughts

It must be close to midnight now in India. I cannot just like that WhatsApp a friend or family member. It takes some time to get used to the time difference after 3 months of seamless contact. The change in the time zone which happens automatically on the smartphones still comes as a shock to the untrained eyes. 

India was all about abundance. Abundance of space, heat, time and people. The lack of the big four makes everything very still here. The adults to kids ratio of 1:1 makes us feel a bit under handed since the 2 divas can throw quite some fits. We have busied ourselves with grocery and school uniform shopping. The car batteries going dead and a friend inviting for a house warming function have made us busier. Our parents are supportive and have asked us to be calm for a couple of days after which it will all feel normal. I remember when I came back from Hyderabad and was speaking to Dino all loaded with nostalgia... And he said ' don't worry we learn to forget '. Well... Don't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. But I blog to remember.

Last few days

I have not written about my last leg of vacation. 

After K reached bbsr it was a mad rush. Food, family and the final packing. My sister was around and those were my time with her. My sister had come over to spend the first 4 days with us and work from home for the next week so that mummy and papa did not feel our absence. I really like her thoughtfulness but then in many ways she is a much more mature person than me.

The day we were up start, it was raining heavily. As if there was a pall of gloom all around. I had insisted that no one come to drop us since I wished to say my good byes at home. We boarded the taxi amidst tears and hugs. It will take some days before the image of Papa, mummy and Lichie crying at the gate is obliterated. 

While there was grief at bbsr there was revelry at Chennai for the granddaughters were coming home! As soon as we reached, we took a walk to the beach which is a few minutes from home. The lovely sea can make one feel a lot better. K was at home. In every aspect. Roaming around in  track pants, in the place where he was born and brought up, I could see him blending in all aspects. We had a trip nearly everyday to visit a friend or family member. An example of India shining, I could see how Ola and Uber had revolutionised transport. Auto fares had actually seen a decreasing trend.

I managed to meet two friends of mine which made the trip worthwhile. Renu from bloggerville. I have been following her blogs since 2008. It was a special thing to meet up with her in person. She is a vibrant, optimistic lady who sees a lot of good in the world. I was impressed by her positive views of everything down south though she happens to be from the Hindi heartland. We could have gone on chatting if a certain four year old and infant  did not keep interrupting us.

Being a bit unsocial I have single digit number of friends. One of them is Preeti from school. She came over all the way from Bangalore to meet me. That she felt I was worthy of it was humbling for me. The evening zoomed past and I will have only memories of it. Just like I will have memories of the day spent with my college friend Basu who travelled 4 hours to meet me at bbsr. Just like I will have memories of the past 13 weeks. 

In these last few emotional days as usual my best friend K comes in as the sounding board. I asked him if he was sad that his holiday was over. He said 'I couldn't have asked for more '. 

A pilgrimage

Hyderabad is one of my favourite cities. Recently I made a four day trip. It evoked lot of fond memories, of times with friends and time  around with family. I had done most of my wedding shopping here. I had spent a very nice year just before marriage. But the main draw of the place is the Chilkur Balaji temple. 

I am not a very devout person. I believe God does stuff and He will do the needful. We need not coax Him, bargain with Him or bribe Him. But I had some desperate times in my first firm. I was unhappy on a lot of fronts and needed a change. That's when my close friend S told me about Chilkur Balaji. For people who are not familiar the deity is also called Visa Balaji for devotees get their visas approved upon visit to the temple! The concept of the temple is very simple. One needs to do 11 circumabulations of the temple when asking for a wish to be granted. Once the desire is fulfilled one needs to do 108 circumambulations (pradakshina). I am not a believer in such stuff. Once I tried to fast on a Shiv Ratri because there was an important cricket match and could not do it beyond 1300. One horror-scope errr horroscope dude had asked me to leave non vegetarian food on Sunday for some  problem and I was like go take a hike. So when my friend told me about the Chilkur temple I half heartedly gave it a 'shot'. Kinda like ' yeah bhi try kiya jaye'

When I entered the temple I could feel the positive vibes. I think that is the most important part of visiting a temple....to get a good positive feeling. People were going around the temple and chanting  Govinda which gave  goose bumps.  I did the 11 pradakshina and within a few days my desire for a change was fulfilled . Coincidence? Maybe. But I was a convert. 

The priests at the temple keep extolling that there is no special puja or darshan. All that is expected is chanting of Vishnu 's name and concentrating on Him. I feel it is a very rational expectation. If we feel God gave us something all we need to do is concentrate on Him and fill ourselves with good thoughts for the 2-3 hours that it takes to do the circumambulations. For the health oriented ones, it's good cardio ;) 

I had prayed to the God during some tough times. I don't even remember how many times I had prayed to Him. Per my estimate it was four. Since I am in India this was a chance to visit. My school friend Sam was also around which made it a double whammy. The first day we just went to just visit. Since there was no crowd I decided to do 108 pradakshina s. Chiyaa also did a few with me. She was skipping, running, jumping and doing all sorts of antics. She made the whole ritual so much more pleasant. The darshan was spectacular! We saw the deity from such close quarters. I have been to the temple many times but never seen Him from such close proximity. We had plans to visit the next day but because of a bit of mis-planning we were not able to make it. I visited the next two days and completed three out of four. The visits were splendid! There was no crowd and we viewed the deity from such proximity! The children were ultimately well behaved and though I had some doubts as to how they would be, He took care of them. 

I also noticed the popularity of the deity. There was a sardarji doing pradakshina. I heard Odia, Bengali and Gujrati in the crowd. There were people on wheelchairs and babies in prams. The feel, the vibe, the aura was surreal. And in typical Indian style the driver who ferried us everyday was a guy called Shaik! Talk about  secularism :) Indians live it.

A fantastic four days filled with piety and of course some shopping ;) My mother and shopping gp hand in hand! ;) I have a few more prayers..... Here is hoping I get to visit Him soon!

Arm chair thoughts

I have a lot of time to chew the cud and just observe and think about a lot of things. So here is a log of my totally random thoughts.

One aspect I notice is just how busy my father is. He is retired but is a visiting professor. He is also the editor of a science magazine and is involved in authoring curriculum books. He is also the chairman of the association we live in and is actively involved in activities such as coordinating with municipal authorities for improving civic facilities, organising cultural events, publication of the local newsletter. Along with it he does his regular household tasks of putting the washing machine, keeping the drinking water from the purifier, the weekly cleaning of the car, bike and bathrooms and the like. He does not relinquish those activities because he is not satisfied if anyone else does it.  To be honest, my mother has always been busy with with housework, stitching, gardening etc after retirement. I was concerned how my father would pass his time. But seeing him so occupied makes me feel very happy.

A day before I was to get married, a neighbour whom I fondly called didi told me, you might be getting married but you will always keep coming back here. Truer words have not been said. I keep coming back to my maika for emotional succour,honest advice, encouragement, and a shoulder to cry on. They inspire and urge to be a better person and a professional - even today when I think I have done enough they push me by example. I would be nothing without them.

I love to see the desire to improve and excel. One of our neighbours has a watchman. He generally sits for 8 hours. I saw a crude patch of land with banana, pumpkin, drumstick, curry leaf plants. The watchman to uses his time to add some greenery and grow some vegetables. Such motivation!

When I was younger I never fully understood the importance of the famous Rath Yatra. The coverage of the journey was viewed by my parents but I used to take it as something running in the living room. I was never around ever since we moved to Bhubaneswar to grasp the importance of the festival. I was always in a cosmopolitan environment where some specifics of my state were not explicit. This has been good in that I accept different cultures very easily. This time I am at home during the Rath festival. And I appreciate how important the event is to the Odia ethos!I am a Krishna bhaqt but  I can feel how strong is the bond and the association with Lord Jagannath. 

 I am in India for a long time after a long time. Long enough for the 'special' status to fade and I am not treated as a royalty. I love the feel of family. And as I see the changes I love the way the country is moving. I have had this thought numerous times but now I feel more strongly that to what end am I in a far away place? Away  from where my heart is? Truth be told UK is a very expensive country (among the top 10 in the world), so money is not the reason. For that matter my peers in India earn the same or more than me with the perks of being in India (I know they may not think of it as a perk). Yes I enjoy first world infrastructure  with no class system and of course without the unsolicited interference of acquaintances. But is that reason enough? I have been talking about this quandary with my friend A and my mother a lot. They both say 'stay there'. They must know better. But this time more than ever I am divided in half and will be giving the return a serious thought before the kids are big enough to have a say.

There are exactly 6 more weeks to  go... 3 here and 3 in Chennai. I have no idea how I will fare with mummy not being there. Even a simple task like going to the toilet will need planning with a toddler. I have done it before but I have been pampered by my mother over the past few months. I will be taking the change head on. Added will be Chiyaa 's School (which is still undecided) and maybe something drastic on my employment front. Plus we won't have the lovely sunshine that can cheer you up. I know it won't be an easy transition. 

Well... Life will go on.. Let me live it now.

Time

There is less than a month left. For this idyllic vacation to end. It seemed like a project when it was conceptualised. A month in Bhubaneswar  and a month in Chennai. K's work timelines ended up making it two months in Bhubaneswar and a month in Chennai. From afar it seemed enough. In fact I was naive enough to think what were we going to do for do long. I was searching play schools and swimming classes to keep Chiyaa occupied. How silly was I to underestimate the time needed to bask in the love of grandparents. To be pampered by granny and grandpa. To soak up in love where time is not a slave to routine.

But relativity kicks in. Time seems to zoom when the experience is as pleasant as this. And already the majority of our stay here is over. It seems two months is not such a long duration after all. 

Chiyaa is counting days to see daddy. She can't wait for it to be August. I was so scared of missing K. I even shed a few years bidding him goodbye in UK. I am eager to see him. But I will miss my parents. I will miss this time. I will be heartbroken to think what my parents will undergo. They who carry each child in their arms nearly every waking moment. How will they cope with a clean house smelling of children? How will they cope with no shouts of joy, no cries of anger, no squeals of delight? How will they cope with the emptiness? 

Time again will step in as the best healer. I hope it does a good work. 

Bhubaneswar - first impressions

Bhubaneswar is my home town. I have developed a kinship for Bhubaneswar. When we reached the airport and I saw the Konark Chakra, I was filled with overwhelming delight. We could see my father and sister waiting for us in the entrance. Thanks to regular video calls, Chiyaa could immediately recognise her Aja. She ran with her trolley to greet him. It was indeed a spectacular sight. Blood indeed is thicker than water. In spite of the distance and gap , the granddaughter could immediately connect with her granddad. She has no reservations or stranger anxiety and immediately climbed into his arms. I think after a point, the sight of grand kids brings more joy than seeing one's children ;)

We had a pretty sultry ride home. In spite of the air conditioned interiors of the car, Pumki was very uncomfortable. She wailed through the ride back. But for Chiyaa who had never seen bumps before  it seemed like a roller coaster ride. In the back glasses of one of the cars there was a picture of the eyes on Lord Jagannath. She saw them and said, ' look there is an owl on the back of the car'. We were pretty impressed that rather than being enervated by the heat and humidity, she was keeping her senses open and was soaking in the vibrant colours and sounds of India. 

We were literally under 24 hours air conditioning at home. Frequent power cuts was another stark difference from life in the western world. Thankfully we had inverters keeping the flow of electricity. One day during a thunderstorm, the inverter went kaput. There was a pleasant breeze which was a relief and the kids managed to survive the afternoon. Papa called an electrician to fix the issue. The person was available within the next few hours and sorted the issue for Rs 300/- In another instance also we had the stabiliser mended within a few hours. The ease with which such assistance was available really amazed me. 

I don't know whether it is our lack of awareness or such facilities are a bit hard to get in the UK. When Chiyaa was born, we were occupying an apartment where none of the heaters worked except the one in the drawing room. We used to be holed up in the drawing room for most of the day. We had a makeshift bed arrangement in the room. For the nights we had heater fans , which were not as regulated and effective as a central room heater. But it was something we managed with. We spent a lot of time chasing the landlord and the letting agent but to no avail.  We got in touch with the apartment maintenance team who denied responsibility to any property repairs but for common areas. We  called an electrician, but he detected a wider problem and the solution would have burnt a big hole in our pockets. In fact he even suggested legal action against the landlord and the letting agent. But with an infant in tow, we opted to look out for a different place. We managed to ultimately move out and ironically in time for the landlord to fix the wiring. It took him close to 24 months to respond! ( yes it did take us quite a while to find a property of our choice, keeping in mind our family, facilities, commute to work and daycare .) In the recent past when we moved to Ipswich, we were given a sofa as part of the furnishings of the house. The sofa was in a very decrepit state and we wanted to replace it. Little did we know that this wish would lead to quite some work. We were able to get a very decent sofa for £60 only from a second hand furniture shop. But it was a challenge to get the existing monstrosity out of the house. Since it was categorised as 'bulky waste' we were not allowed to dump it in the usual garbage dump of the apartment. We had to get in touch with municipal council to collect it. They were not permitted to enter the apartment which meant we would need to wait for them with the sofa . They could arrive anytime depending on how busy they were. It was impossible for us to be on standby with a huge sofa when we already had our hands full with 2 kids. Google search gave us a few alternative and independent removers but most of it was a wild goose chase. To cut a long story short we eventually managed to find a site called anyjunk.co.uk who offered excellent service in getting rid of the ridiculous sofa . We paid £100 for their service which was ironically more than the price of the sofa we had purchased. Being at home the past few weeks made me realise it would not have been such a struggle to accomplish the same task here. Our 'jugaad' mentality does make a lot of things way more feasible. Repairs and refurbishments are easier, affordable and achievable here. 

I am impressed by the array of continental food items available in supermarkets. Yes the whole meal pasta does not look very convincing, but it is a good enough to keep the kids happy. There is a lot of real estate development and the number of day care centre advertisements drive home the fact, a lot has changed. There was a time when I dismissed that a 'small city' like Bhubaneswar could boast of such facilities. The city seems to have grown and matured. And I feel really proud of it!

India - first impressions

I am back in India after 4 years. I did not know what to expect. I was definitely prepared to be rudely shocked. I was also prepared to be pleasantly surprised. It was definitely going to be interesting. 

Across the Asian sub continent we have a lot of shared ethics and practices. That is why when we landed in the Abu Dhabi airport, I could smell home. And one practice that is common is washing up after finishing our business in the toilet. In all the Indian homes I have been to in the UK I have seen some arrangement or other for washing up. The ring of toilet roll is there but also along with it is a bucket and mug or wet wipes.  In the Abu Dhabi airport I heard a lady in the adjoining restroom comment ' Thank God there is a health faucet here' I could not resist a smile. I came out of the toilet and noticed that the ladies who were thanking the health faucet seemed pretty westernised and well  travelled. There are some things which are quintessentially Indian and I reckon this is one of them.

When we reached the Indira Gandhi International Airport, we went to the help desk to enquire about where we needed to go since we were a mixture of nationalities. My mother had warned that the last time she had travelled she needed to fill in a lot of elaborate documentation. In the flight we were not given any documents to fill for  my elder daughter's  and my Indian passports. We were doubtful that the air hostess might have missed giving us some forms. We asked the help desk person if we needed to fill any forms. He just directed us to the Special Assistance desks. The Immigration Officer handled our case pretty quickly and effectively. We had anticipated some trouble or red tape but our port of entry check was seamless. In fact the Indian passports were  welcomed with no fuss at all; really felt like I was being given a warm homecoming. It wasn't so the last time we had landed in Chennai. We had to wade through quite a bit of beauracracy. I could feel the good work being done by the current administration. The song 'dil kya kare jab kisi se' from the movie Julie rifted. Golden oldies. I was home where some things didn't change.

Our flight landed in Delhi at 0300 but our next flight to BBSR was scheduled at 1100. Since we had a very long wait I had booked a room in the airport hotel. The check in to the hotel was rigged with security checks. We had  3 security checks, where we had to show our passports and tickets and even go through a full scan of our luggage. We had to move a couple of floors but it took us 1 hour with all the security checks. We were helped a lot by the hotel staff. Mummy tipped him Rs. 300/-. Once the check in was done the front desk staff asked if we needed Internet. Of course we did!  This was another fact which we do easily took for granted in the UK. In most hotels WiFi is free and of pretty good speed. Here it was a password protected network. But it was enough to WhatsApp family of our safe landing in India. We slept like logs in the room. With burning eyes we woke 1.5 hours before our next check in. The hotel staff helped us with the check in for the flight again. He established contact with some ground staff. They had costs on which explicitly stated 'No tips'. But mummy offered them Rs 500/- as tips. It drove home another major facet of India. This is something conspicuous by its absence in the UK. And here within the first 5 hours of landing my mother had tipped Rs 800/-.  

I am very glad to be home. I had anticipated the weather, the infrastructure, the way of life to be very jarring. But I did not feel any awkwardness. After all dil hai Hindustani. 

The journey starts

Well India happened two weeks back and till now I can say I am lovinggggggggg it. I had a lot of doubts and reservations about the trip but by God's grace none of them have turned out to be true.

Our tickets were booked from Leeds  so we had to make a trip from Ipswich to Leeds. The morning of the journey Chiyaa kept thinking we were going back to Leeds for good. She was  worried that all her toys were  being left behind. She even started dismantling her kitchen set to take back. The innocence kids have is just so so precious. My heart  went out for my little girl. 

The journey to Leeds involved a change of train. As we were in the waiting room for the transfer , we thought Pumki  needed a nappy change. There was no changing place nearby on the platform. We had to do it  in the room. But there was a lady having her lunch. We thought we should let her finish eating. I am not sure how she understood us, but she said ' if you need to change please go ahead. I have three sons and will be a grandmother today or tomorrow. And I was a carer for disabled children so I have seen it all.' We were touched by her warm gesture. I asked details about her soon to be grandchild. It was to be a surprise and her first grandchild. Her daughter in law was 12 days overdue and was being induced since the  previous day. If things did not progress over the day she would be operated the next day. It seemed like something so close to my recent experience. I wished the lady luck. I wish I could know what she had, when, how.... I guess some things are meant to be left unanswered.

We reached Leeds and checked into a hotel. Since it was not our home in Leeds Chiyaa kept asking if it was a different Leeds. We somehow reasoned that it was the same place but a different accommodation :)

The next day we had been invited by my college mate to have breakfast, lunch and dinner at her place ;) It was a simply brilliant day where we hung around and chatted and enjoyed some sumptuous food. The time just flew past and the children played a lot too. It was really kind of her to host us. Evening it was shut eye time as soon as possible. We had a really early start at three in the morning. 

A longggggg journey awaited us.....

The final installment

of my vacation reverie.

Well once back in Chennai it was just a new set of packing and re-packing again. This time, the munchkin's stuff was a lion's share of the luggage - there were gifts, clothes, toys, it was an avalanche of pink :)

On the day of our return flight Chennai was hit by Nilam. There were rains and power cuts and all the anxiety that follows untoward climate. K kept making calls to the airlines and giving point to point updates (which in my honest opinion was of no use ;)) There was a lot of enthusiasm about a ship which had come ashore.People flocked the terrace of our building to catch a glimpse. K took this shot from his camera. Kids were very excited to see the life boats approaching. We even saw a few distress flares being let out into the sky. 

Though later it was pretty sad to know that it was the ill fated vessel Pratibha Cauvery. Little did we know then as we stood on the terrace being blown by the wind.

Somehow by the evening things started to mellow down. There is a temple of Lord Ganesha in Besant Nagar which I like a lot. I had plans to go there but somehow could not make it all the while. As things were piping down I asked K if we could make it and he willingly agreed. The temple was empty and there was the diets in all his resplendent glory ! It was as if He was waiting for us. It was very surreal to be on His presence

Once home we did the remaining packing and wistfully looked back at a stupendous trip!