24 hours

 The first 24 hours are the worst. That's when everything is fresh and everything hits hard. 

I climbed down to a much quieter and emptier house. As I was unloading the dishwasher this morning I was reminded of my annoying mummy loading it yesterday to give me some respite for one last time this year. I made one cup of coffee while for the past 4 weeks I was used to making one for papa as well on the working days. 

As Chiyaa left for school I thought about yesterday. She said her goodbyes to Tubi and Aja. She cried a lot, they cried a lot. Today she left with excitement to be on a trip with her friends (a happy coincidence). And my parents are in Dubai waiting for the next flight to home. 

Yesterday I did my school pickups without mummy beside me. Today I will watch Pumpki doing her swim lesson without mummy beside me. I will come home to no questions from papa about how Pumpki did. 

Each thought   is a sucker punch. Each wave of emotion is tough. As I go through the day I keep thinking how they would have felt when they say this, what they would think of such and such. My parents have seen it all but I feel wish they were here to see it again. The first 24 hours are the toughest till we get used to routine. 

My favourite holiday

 My favourite holiday is when my parents are with me. And I had the awesome opportunity of having them for a month from September to today. With my parents around it is a strange warmth. It is a mix of nostalgia and moving on. 

My father is the routine bound person who adheres to his schedule with passion. His meal times, his walks, his sports viewing , his news viewing  - every thing goes on with an  absolute accuracy of time. Being a bit out of his comfort zone in the UK and given his age he is a bit dependant on us for every need of his. It makes me feel sad for the cruelty time inflicts on us. But at the same time it also makes me feel happy to be able to take care of him in this reversed roles state.

My mom is also much weakened. Her legs annoy her and her stamina is lower. Still she's always there. Aggressively cleaning the dishes and loading the dishwasher, preparing meals with such love and always ready to make her oh so amazing tea. Today till they left the house she was doing one thing or the other - cooking, cleaning, making extra tea  and even offered to keep a cup for my sister and I to have later. Her love is something that is not of this world.

This year I was lucky to experience Durga Puja with them. I am not a religious person. But Puja has a certain vibe for me maybe because of the school holidays that were a part and parcel of it growing up. We went to see a couple of celebrations in Leeds. Though they were nothing compared to the pomp and show back home it was still joyful spending the time with papa mummy and experiencing the difference. Instead of the traditional prasad we ended up having pizzas since we were too tired to cook. The novelty of it just warmed my heart. 7 of us, 3 generations all wrapped in the warmth of love and companionship. It was just surreal.

But God had another surreal surprise in store for us. The Northern Lights! We had missed the first show on 10th of May. It was my sisters birthday in May on the night of the aurora sightings all over UK. We had missed it. But on 10th of October we were not to be fooled! We were lucky to view the spectacle from our house. It was amazing, splendid, unprecedented and exciting! I just can't thank God enough for letting me experience it with my parents.

I will only thank my good fortune and Almighty for having such lovely enriching experiences with my parents. I hope they enjoyed it too. We will hopefully host them soon again. We will hopefully make more memories together again. We will hopefully enjoy the warmth of each other's company again. Till then we will endure this separation and live through the emptiness. 

The planets align again!

 I didn't think it would ever happen again. For the planets align only once in a lifetime isn't it? But they did again! And we ended up celebrating papa and K's birthday in person together again! 

The birthday week kick started with mummy 's on the 4th of July. It was a busy day. Chiyaa had an open evening at her to be secondary school. The evening was packed. But we managed to get some cake and chicken for mummy in the afternoon since we expected a busy evening. It was a lovely sunny day. Mummy enjoyed a nice little walk with my sister. Papa mowed the lawn and did some cleaning activities around the house. It was the proper countdown to their return as papa kept saying. They are slated to go back to India on 2nd August and we could feel the pangs of separation as the birthday week approached. But then life goes on and we take pleasure in the small things that are bestowed upon us. I was happy that again mummy was with the people she literally dotes the most. She is also a very closed person with a small social circle which mostly entails family. She is closest to her daughters and loves being with her grand-daughters. So, I was pretty sure that, with no gifts, no big celebrations, she was still at her most satisfied.

3 days later it was K and Papa's birthday. By the stroke of luck it was a school holiday for the kids for teacher training. It was just pure coincidence and again something that had never happened before!! We took the day off and planned a day trip to York. Pumpki had gone there to a chocolate museum and she was keen that we all go there and experience what she had. And here Wham! came another brilliant coincidence. It was World Chocolate Day! It was all getting tied in a neat little parcel by some divinity. The trip at York's Chocolate Story was quite good. We stopped by for some lunch and then walked over one of the parts of the Roman walls that were built to protect the city of York. It was quite an experience. But by this time, the sun was getting on everyone's nerves. It was becoming a bit too hot and tiring especially for the kids and Papa. There were a lot more sights to see, but we decided to take the train back home. We quite enjoyed the trip and it was a wrap to a good day spent together.  

The days together might be drawing to an end, but we are so loving all the sweet moments that we can capture. I could not thank God enough for these days. 

Parents are annoying indeed!

 You remember when I wrote about my super duper annoying parents? Well they have proven to be more so with the passing years. 

My sister had gone to India to visit them during the Christmas vacations. During one of the video calls, I mentioned that it had been nearly years since I had mutton curry and had in fact forgotten the taste of it. Not that I am a bit mutton eater or even a non veg eater for that matter. 

But it was something my parents registered. The day before my sister was to start, Papa got the best mutton he could find. Mummy sweated for hours to make her signature curry. They froze it so that it remained fresh for the more than 24 hours it had to spend in different modes of transport to cross continents. And finally I had a taste of mummy made most deletable mutton curry ever! Every spoon tasted of love and concern and the undying commitment my parents have for their kids. In our younger days they did their bit of guiding and scolding. But now that we are adults, when they pamper us with these small but super meaningful gestures, it feels like divinity itself. No one spoils an adult like their parents!!

My most favourite person

 Who's that? Meri Maa. Who else would get the coveted title? My mom is not just the super supportive, super clever and super chilled mom. She asks us for our opinion on things, regarding our thoughts as important as hers and Papa's. But the awesomely best thing about her is her constant encouragement to keep my sister and me striving for more and better. She always asks us to take that certification, do that course, go for the workout, do that meditation routine. Not just the professional side, she even encourages us to be better home bodies. Lately I have mastered the art of baking (I know I have bragged about it a few times in this space ;) ) . Mummy one day mentioned "You can bake now, try to make yoghurt too". Since UK has a colder climate, we tend to buy yoghurt since our numerous attempts at making it at home have failed. But there are things that can help, like a yoghurt maker etc. So she asked to find out and get it done. Since Mummy threw the gauntlet, I had to accept it. I got right on with the task of Googling. I found a few positive links and my first start was a "starter-kit" for making yoghurt. I have tried it around 5-6 times and its been working! I can thank the warmer weather at the moment for it too. But it is really amazing to have home made yoghurt. As long as the weather Gods are with me, its success! Once the dreaded darker months come looming, I will get on with further Googling and get some more science to my side. Till then, thank you again Mummy for pushing me! You are the best!

 

How it unfolded

 August was the summer holidays so luckily Papa, Mummy ended up spending a lot of time with us. They were to depart from the UK on a Monday, so we had a Covid test booked for them for the Saturday. We went to the city centre to get the test done. After that, we had some food stuff to get for K from one of his favourite shop. As we made the trek, we bought a hummus and falafel wrap and some cakes from the shop. We ventured through the farmer's market and got a few veggies in the kitty too. It was very pleasant to be walking around with Papa Mummy, unbothered by the kids or other worries. I really felt like a child going to the market with her parents. 

Once back home, we had the finishing touches on the packing and weighing to be done. The evening was spent chatting and calling up friends and saying final goodbyes over Whatsapp video. 

Sunday was the big day. Mummy was in full form. She kneaded some flour, made dosa batter. She also made a truckload of pakoras. It reminded me of the time when she was posted in a different city from Papa, my sis and I. She used to come to us over holidays and before going back, she would cook at break neck speed. She would stash the fridge with curries and snacks. Some would even go bad eventually. But that never deterred her from working just as hard in stocking the fridge the next time she came.

She was very keen on going for her evening walk one last time. And I was very keen on going for one last evening walk with her. So as soon as the kids had their "TV time", the mother-daughter duo scooted off. Every time we went for a walk, like a child Mummy would ask me if we can go this way or that. And I would agree and we would end up finding a new way. On that day too we took a new route, went through some dilapidated buildings. Mummy said "One last time, I wanted to see all this scenery and etch this in my mind" We love talking about plants and flowers, gardens and houses during our walks. Beside her that evening, I wasnt sure when I was going to have the pleasure of her company again. 

The evening was jam packed. We finally received our Covid negative results. But it was not a smooth sailing. We received Papa's results, but not Mummy. What ensued was frantic calls to the clinic. We had paid a lot of money for the private tests. We were informed that the test had gone "missing". We still had time, but it was harrowing. Finally, 90 minutes later, we received the results. After that we had to fill in 1001 forms. First there was something with British Airways, then a form with New Delhi Airport, then a record with Air Suvidha, and exemption report with Air Suvidha and a gazillion other things. Papa Mummy had a kilo of documentation to carry each. Thank God we have a printer at home :D What came forth with all that documentation was a good amount of fear too. We hoped that all the paper work was in order. 

The next day, they started off at 0830 leaving tears in their eyes and ours. They had a long journey. They reached London from Manchester. They had an over night stay in a hotel there. We were very nervous about this, since London is not familiar territory. Given their age, they were also a bit nervous. Luckily, they approached someone who showed them the way to the hotel. The hotel was very comfortable and they had a much needed rest and internet connection. This resulted in calls to us and to my sister. 

A special mention to that little girl of mine. My sister knew that I would be a bit upset and hence kept on calling me sporadically. We were feeling very distraught. To keep our minds off the matter, we got some lunch from outside. Then we went for a good long walk in the nearby woods. It was a holiday for us, and I would not be wrong in saying, that it was a an awful day. 

The next day, Papa Mummy had their onward flight to New Delhi. After 11.5 hours they finally reached Matribhoomi! The quarantine exemption approval had been accepted by Delhi government and thankfully Papa Mummy had received the email during their stay in London. They were able to come through immigration quite quickly. They had a further 7 hour long wait for their domestic flight to Bhubaneswar. Finally after 60 hours of leaving their home in UK, they reached their home in Bhubaneswar. 

My sister had ordered most grocery and food stuffs online which had been delivered to our tenant. The house had been cleaned by our help the previous day. What had seemed very very harrowing, was luckily a smooth and peaceful journey. 

Parents are so annoying

 They leave and we are left with all the emptiness.

It is so weird to turn the intruder alarm off when I wake up in the morning, because for the past 8 and a half months Papa who used to wake around 5 was in charge of it. 

It is disconcerting to walk downstairs and find every room dark. Mummy who used to wake up next used to ensure that all the curtains were drawn back and the rooms were awash with light. If it was one of the chill mornings,she would also turn the heater on to get the rooms to just the right temperature.

Mummy would not even let me make my morning glass of warm water and cup of coffee. She would ask me to log in straight away and bring the two things to my desk. 

Papa had a keen eye on the weather and used to advise us which day would be best to do the laundry and put the clothes out for drying. Being the economically wise one, he didn't want us to waste electricity in running the tumble drier. 

Papa would clean vaccum the house every alternate day, clean the windows and even the toilets and bath once a week.

Mummy of course had taken over the kitchen.

K and I had time to go on runs on a weekend morning. We used to go grocery shopping together leaving the kids at home. All this was taken for granted and normal. 

We had immense help, even for childcare. But the most important thing we had was the vibes. 

There was a genuine feeling of love and warmth. There was a flow of conversation. Out of the blue we would start discussing politics or economics or people and relatives. We would play wordscapes which a word game or word search. Mummy would whip up delicacies just like that. Her uber simple cabbage curry or her decadent carrot halwa or the awesome jhal muri which is a dry and spicy version of bhel puri with hot ginger tea on rainy mornings without anyone asking for it - it was nothing but love. 

I made a trip to the supermarket yesterday and I had a blob in my throat when I saw a melon. Mummy and I would cut and much through an entire fruit in one afternoon with Pumpki joining in. As I went through the biscuits aisle I realised we wouldn't need rich tea biscuits for a long time. We don't eat them, but it was a regular when papa mummy were here. 

The house is cleaner now, since there is way less cooking and less people. The rooms are stark and empty. There is a coldness in everything. Everything reeks and smells of them. It is weird. We are going through the motions of living, but it feels weird. As if an important thread is missing. We are at a weird stage in life where our mental age is closer to our parents. So we understand them and I am sure they see themselves in us. It was a lovely stress free time that we had. We will take a while to recover and stop missing them. 

The planets had aligned

Papa simply wished to celebrate the birthday of his grand daughters. That was his plan for his trip to UK 2 years ago. He also harbored a secret desire to make a trip to the London Natural History Museum. He had plans to return in March 2020 after Chiyaa's birthday celebration in February. The day her birthday party was held, he said the words "What a great celebration! Now time for return " But! Man proposes God disposes eh? Come March and we know what hit the world :D All plans cancelled, including the tickets for London. Everything in the back burner and Papa and Mummy were slated to be here for a long run.

My sister teased them on the day the tickets were cancelled that, "Ah! you are going to stay for your birthdays too" Papa and Mummy have their birthdays in July. Sitting in April, July seemed a faraway time. Mummy was confident they would travel by the end of May when her tickets were scheduled. Well, everything was up in the air wasnt it. Including sweepstakes happening at work where people were betting on when we might return to work place.

April went and with it May. Things were a bit better in June but the lockdown was not going anywhere. Till the PM of Britain gave the news of "non-essential businesses" opening from the 4th of July. On Mummy's birthday! Yay! Not that we were going to do much! But still yay! This was the fourth time Mummy was with me for her birthday, since I got married. (My life after marriage is like a watershed moment for me ;) Its like Before Marriage and After Marriage :D ) She was in the UK one time to take care of Chiyaa since she was keeping very unwell. After that, I managed to be with her one other time, since I was in India for my second maternity leave following the birth of  Pumpki. Mummy again managed to be with me when she landed in Ipswich for her birthday, again to support us through the difficult time of K's job hunt. And this! This might be the last time she is around for her birthday, since we do not anticipate our parents coming in that frequently. The kids are growing up, making their own independent worlds. And our parents are aging too. I did not desire to go out and go shopping for a birthday gift for her. But how could I not gift her anything? So, we made something. I made the kids make drawings with acrylic paint on cups. It was very exciting especially for the little one to be engaged in this secret activity. We closed the door to a bedroom and got busy with our work. There was a moment where she had to step outside and had to get some stationery. Mummy happened to come across her and asked her what she was doing. That four year old little one lied through her teeth "We are exercising". Mummy asked where. She said "In mummy and daddy's room" When Mummy asked what exercise she was doing, she convincingly replied " Just normal exercise, press ups".

God that little one is dangerous! I clarified to Mummy that they were making cards in secret. The real special gift was a secret. Since Mummy is an avid walker, I decided to get some walking shoes for her. Now I am an absolute dud when it comes to making cakes. And the kids would not let me live if i did not order a cake on a birthday. But where would I get a cake from given the situation. I scoured the internet and came across some bakers. Some were not offering their services yet, some were super busy, some did not respond. God! I was reaching a road block. I found some online sites. But which one to trust. Finally I took a leap of faith and ordered from a place which guaranteed to send it by the date. Fingers crossed now.

Come her birthday, the kids were super excited. They did not want to wait at all. They ran into her room as soon they woke up and gave her the gifts. The joy on Mummy's face was beyond expression. We had plans for lunch from a takeaway. Once that was on the way, I got the cake. The cake was all right though a bit sweet. I decided to go for the same place for Papa and K's birthday which was 3 days away. 

Mummy was very glad at the end of the day since this was first time in ages that her birthday had been celebrated! The last time was a decade ago when her students from college had come in and surprised her. I felt very glad to be able to have her around me. 

I remembered that around the same time last year, I was hoping I could have my parents over for summer. Around the May-July time when it is really hot in India and quite pleasant here. But it needed some miracle of sorts to come true. There are no school holidays during that time and my parents would not like to be at home without the grandkids hovering around. They prefer even bearing the bone chilling winter, just because the children are around for Christmas holidays. So having them over for the English spring/summer was a far off dream. But you never know do you?! It was as if God just sat on my shoulder and heard my prayers. I will be eternally grateful to him for facilitating this for our family. Not only were my parents spared the Indian summer, they had the kids around too! Since March. It was a once in a lifetime event. The stars needed serious aligning for this to work. 

For this time and also for 7th July. The dual celebration of Papa and K's birthdays! I always bask in the fact that my two favourite men share the same birthday. I had them together for the first time ever. It was also the day when it was 10 years since I arrived in the UK. That morning I had bid a tearful bye to Papa after wishing him a very happy birthday. And in the evening I had landed in UK to wish him a happy birthday. Now in 2020, I was with both of them again, wishing them both a happy birthday. This seriously needed some supreme divine intervention. This was indeed again another once in a lifetime event. 

As the day wound to a close, the chapter of birthdays drawing to a finish, all I do was thank my lucky stars.

Ei jaate hue lamhon

Many  of us remember the lyrics from the soul touching song of the very forgettable movie Border which loosely means “time, please stay a bit longer before you move on”. That would be somewhat the state of my mind. Somewhat – not exact. I am looking forward to the holiday season. I am looking forward to waking up late, reading books to the kids, reading some books myself, cooking and eating, relaxing without bothering about work and generally wrapping up the year. But there is a slight sense of dread too. I want time to move a bit slowly too. I want the days to be a bit more drawn out.

Because - Mummy’s return looms close too. I am having to steel myself for it. For me, its not that she only lives in our house and helps around a bit. She seeps into our daily life – especially mine. I start from home first, she ensures that the door has been opened. Also, I always carry the house and car keys with me. She argues against me carrying that load!! – the ever protective mom. She stands ready for me when I return from work with the car keys so that I can dash off to pick the kids. She comes with me every day when I do the return pick ups. She does not need to especially in these horrible cold months, but she does. We have a lovely catch up on what happened during the day when we drive. Oh yes! And like all caring moms, she insists that I have dry fruits :D While we are on our car trip to pick the kids, she feeds me a delicious mix of perfectly roasted cashew nuts, pistachios, walnuts, pecan nuts, almonds mixed with raisins. (The emptiness of the car, her conversation and her periodic feeding in spite of I many a times yelling at her to stop it – will be what I will miss the most once she goes back) She makes me the evening coffee. I just have to mutter a need, for instance “I need new black trousers” and there she goes browsing online for the perfect pair of black trousers. Another award winning contribution of hers – she enables me to sleep late on a weekend. No one has been able to manage the kids without me around on weekends beyong 0800. Case in point, last Sunday I woke up at 0930!!! A feat which only mummy could accomplish. One of the kids coughs or is restless at night, she runs from her room and stands at the door ready to help. Sometimes the kids get agitated seeing her, wanting to be closer to me, so she stands by the door ever ready. If the children are unwell, I leave them in her care with full faith. Pumpki has an ongoing mild cough, and every single day mummy rubs warm oil on her feet and chest and back. She sends her wrapped up nicely with some vapour rub on her feet ( a remedy she swears by , and I believe too!). She tries to feed Chiyaa a fruit before she starts for school.

She just magics herself and makes things easier for us. We are getting ready for the next few cold and drab months without her. Till then  - ei jaate huye lamhon, zara thehro zara thehro.

The first day is the hardest

It's been a week. Feels like yesterday literally. The same murky weather. The same desolate feeling. 

Mummy started at 0430 last Monday . There were a lot of tears. I tried to sleep after she left. But I used to sleep with her and Pumpki since we moved to Leeds. And the bed seemed weird without her.  It smelled of mummy but she wasn't the. 

Routine kicked in once we all woke up. But it was so lifeless. Mummy had left an unfinished cup of tea. What wouldnt I do to have her back. It was all monotonous. I went through the rigors of the day. I got the kids ready and K went to work. I was on leave for 3 days. It would take time to recover after such a supporting pillar was removed. After dropping Chiyaa, I reached home and removed Pumpki 's coat. She thought I was undressing her to give her a bath. And she said 'take bath. Tubi'. Mummy had always given her a bath. So she was looking for mummy. I couldn't control and burst out crying. 

Every single thing reminded me if her. She was an active part of every aspect of my life. When I opened the phone, the screen was on the last book she was reading from my phone.  It was 11 o clock and I missed her admonishing tone asking me ' it's 11 when are you going to eat?'. I took Pumpki to her nursery and I missed her beside me. After I dropped Pumpki I missed our conversations as I shopped for some treats for the kids during pick up. She had  helped me move house, shop and set up the house. She was the bedrock through a very tough part of my life and I missed her immensely. 

When Chiyaa came home from school she screamed something about what happened in school. I asked who was she telling and she casually said ' tubi'. I could not control my tears at the innocence of the child. I told her that tubi had gone back to India. She took it bravely. 

Mummy was half way at Doha by then. She tried video calling us but the reception was not good. In six more hours she would be with her other daughter. I could not help but feel excited on her behalf. 

The next day at 10 when I saw her online after a day, I felt sane again. Mummy's presence, her vibe, her positivity, her peace - what would I do without this great support in my life. Days without her are tough. Not in the physical sense. I miss her calming effect. I miss her unconditional care. As she was departing from my home she said ' I hope your kids grow up soon, becomes independent and don't need anyone.' Such selfless love. I wonder if I have seen it any one. 

Whatever s on my mind

There are just so many thoughts swirling in my mind. The first is the dialogue from the movie airlift where Akshay Kumar says which loosely translates to 'one reaches out for mother when hurt'. My mom is a bit of a super mom. She knows when I might have trouble and comes to shield me. Yes just like that. How she happens to be around my most difficult times, I have no clue. 

She was here when we shifted from Leeds to Ipswich and she is here on our return. She takes care of so much that I don't even notice. It is only when she won't be here 11 days later that I will see the difference when I take care of the kitchen, when I feed the Pumpki, when I engage Chiyaa, when I take ownership of so many small small tasks which none the less add up. 

Mummy takes the brunt out of many things. She makes changes bearable. I would have been borderline depressed without her with the movement, the house in total disarray, the shorter days and the overwhelming amount of work. She goes about without a complaint through the messy and disorganised house. She even sleeps with the little one so that I can have a better sleep at night. I just can't start to be thankful to her. 

The farewell to Ipswich with her was amazing too. The last week was half term break for Chiyaa. So we used to walk to and from her karate classes. The weather was perfect, slight dusk with a hint of winter, the company was perfect and the feeling was perfect. We were savouring the last few days with Ipswich. 

Packing was as usual a nightmare. I worked from home most of this year. So most of my clothes were unused. They literally made a trip from Leeds in a box to hang in the wardrobe and go back to Leeds back in a box. If I knew this would be the state I would have never unpacked :) 

In our frenzy with two kids and work and what not, we had grossly over estimated how much stuff we needed for a week of stay in Ipswich. So there was a huge amount of grocery, toys, clothes and knick knacks. Since we were coming to Leeds in the car space was a constraint. We went berserk dumping things, keeping things, and as usual playing the blame game. We had to give away quite a lot of eatables and grocery which would have helped us immensely in Leeds. But at least they got utilised by our friends there. The most precious thing we left behind was the electronic brushes of the whole family :( 

It's been over a week. I am still not settled. I had taken four days off work, but the house is still upside down. We are yet to fine tune the pick ups and drops from schools and daycare, the extra curricular activities for kids and a thousand and one things that make up our routine. Ipswich seems such a quiet peaceful haven from the distance. 

Tubi gone

When Chiyaa is unable to find my mom during their hide and seek sessions, she comes to me and says 'Tubi gone'. I would say 'No Tubi has not gone, she is hiding. Come lets search for her. ' Then we would both shout out 'Ready or not here we comeeeeee' and ultimately find her. On Sunday night, mommy was going to brush her teeth. Chiyaa just saw her and said 'Tubi. Where are you going? ' Mommy said 'Tubi gone' and burst into tears.

Yesterday morning, I dropped her at the airport, for her return journey. As she was leaving home, she was disconsolate. She kept crying and wishing she could stay longer. This is life is nt it? Being far from the ones we love to pieces. She must have wrapped so many memories - memories of feeding the little one, playing with her, watching Peppa Pig and Princess, dropping her off at the day care, bringing her back, protecting her if her parents reprimanded her for her tantrums. I thought, she was going back to people who needed her just as much - Papa and Lichie. She was going back to her mom. She was going back to her home. I was strangely very steely. I thought I would be crumbling away. I thought, I would take an eon to get used to her absence. Having K around on leave did help a lot. He made sure that we were out and about to take our minds off the vacant house. Thoughts of when to get Chiyaa back from day care, what item to offer as next meal, the clothes that needed folding and ironing, the vessels that needed getting done, (housework that I had been oblivious to in the past 5 months) were a blessing in disguise to help in taking my mind off mommy.

We both are on holiday for couple of days, on stand by to take care of the little birdie, now that she has so many changes. So the morning mad rush, the evening panic cooking, the mid day stress about the impending chores at home and about do not exist. Next week when the dress rehearsal is over we will get the full impact.  We will truly understand the difference now that Tubi is not around.
 

Fantastic Friday

At 1000 on Friday morning my heart skipped a beat. I got an alert in my phone "give notice in twinkles". Twinkles is the day care she attends. She will be attending full time day care again in a month hence the 1 month notice is to intimate them of the same . She will be going full time because mummy will be returning to India. *big sigh*

I was living in constant dread that mummy's return would happen one day. I was living in constant preparation of the event. As usual when it was upon me I was least prepared. But life must go on. Since K was out of town we gurls decided to paint the town red ;) No nothing very risqué just dinner and shopping. We went to a place called Red Hot World Buffet which has the most amazing fare when it comes to buffet food. There is a variety of cuisines like Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, Continental, Italian and of course Indian! And who rules the roost? Of course humara desi khana! The queues in front of samosa, tandoori chicken, pulao, chicken korma and masala kulcha have no end. The only place where there is a dearth is the dessert section where only gulab jamun is able to make an entry. The splash of cakes, ice creams and fudges can blow the mind of anyone with a sweet tooth.

 

The little birdie also loves this place. There is something or the other for her. If she is bored with chapatti, there is pizza, if she had enough of that, there is noodles. If noodles has stopped grabbing her attention, there is French fries. Even having small portions gives me the satisfaction that she has had enough. This time to top it all, mummy loved it!! What more could I ask for?

 

After that, we stopped by a place to do some Diwali shopping. I wanted to get it over with before we were too close to the date and it became a rushed affair. Chiyaa's dress was priority. We managed to get a very nice outfit. Little did we know, that she would come home and insist on wearing it. She has been wearing it for 3 days now (Well she does change into her night wear when she goes to bed and changes clothes a million times during the day. But on and off, she had managed to keep on wearing it *rolls eyes*)

 

As the kitty was busy playing, mummy and I managed to watch a documentary on the recent spread of Ebola in Sierra Leone and the wonderful job that Medecins Sans Frontieres is doing there. Hats off to the people who take up such a tremendous responsibility. Since the kid showed no signs of being drowsy, we continued with some more tv time by watching the movie Taken. It is not brand new, but it was good fun watching it with mummy. We were all ready to hit the bed, and there is no pleasure greater than 3 generations huddling inside the same duvet on a cold September night. *Sighs* Simple joys!

Together, depart, repeat

The air has got that crisp dryness which announces the advent of Durga Puja. My favourite time of the year. The other day Mummy was putting some of her clothes away in her suitcase and she thought, 'the time for packing has come'. There is still a little over a month for her to start back to India, but I have already started preparations. I have started steeling myself, that in some more weeks, it would be mad crazy getting ready in the morning, it would be real empty coming back to a vacant house in the evening and it will be very weird seeing the second bedroom lying unused.

The first half of her stay (I divided her stay into Before Papa Came And After Papa Left) seemed way quicker. Maybe I was eagerly waiting for Papa to come that I was willing time to pass quickly. Time for a change heard my wishes. Or maybe it was the peak of summer and we had so many things to do, so many places to be that we did not realise the flow of days. Papa was here for a short time of 3 weeks. The time Before The Trip went on at a slow pace but After Trip was just about winding down. I miss our coffee sessions. Papa and I have this funny quirk. We love picking peanuts from Indian Mixtures when we are  having coffee in the evening. We literally used to have contests to grab the next visible peanut first. I find no fun in eating all the peanuts by myself now. The short walks with him, the general chit chat… well I still see all the pictures of his time here every night before going to bed. Chiyaa took some time to realise that Ajaa (that's what she calls Papa) was missing. I think for the first few days she thought he has gone somewhere and will be back. On the fourth day, she kept searching for him at the places he used to hide during their peek-a-boo sessions. Then she started dragging Mummy to search for him outside. At one point, she would pick up any available phone and say 'talk to Ajaa' and start blabbering something. On seeing any elderly gentleman with a coat she would start jumping and saying 'Ajaa'. Slowly she has come to terms that Ajaa would appear on the computer only. It breaks my heart to see her thus. She is innocent, she does not realise, and she will forget. But wish we could have everything we want at one place.

A month down the line, the same would be the case for Tubi(that’s what she calls my mom. :D) But I  have got my lessons learnt after Papa's stay. I try to max up the time with Mummy. K wonders, what do we talk everyday? I can tell him the exact details, but I know that would put him to sleep. We discuss clothes, banking, coding, colleagues, work experiences, spirituality, books, movies and what not! Even if we had an infinite number of days together, we would still talk this much.  This time, I will have Mummy with me for Durga Puja. She will also spend Diwali here but start 2 days after that. It is some consolation that she will be around for some important functions. We may not do anything out of the world, but at least we have got some more company.

We are already making plans for our next India trip and for getting Amma here again. I wish we could make more frequent trips to home like some people do, but with a toddler and 2 jobs it’s difficult. We are thinking about what to do in the long run. There are too many parameters, but I keep reiterating, when the time comes, we will look at one deciding factor and take a call. Till then these sine wave periods  of tremendous joy and bitter agony will continue.

An eventful trip

The last Bank Holiday of the summer got over on Monday. We had planned a trip to Belfast with Mummy and Papa. It was marked with lots of events :)

1. The morning flight was at 0835. K is not a jittery traveller. He is a VERY VERY jittery traveller - the kind who can spend the night in the airport if encouraged. He said we were going to reach 2 hours before. That is 0635! Since the airport is in a city that is 1 hour away, we had to start at 0530. ( It was not necessary since it was a domestic flight and we did not even have any check in luggage.) But K ko kaun samjhaye?? We had booked a cab. To add fuel to fire the cab driver messaged and said he could come early. K was ecstatic . He advanced the ETD much to my chagrin . Which principle of project management recommends you to do this? Like people of Pompeii fleeing the lava we scurried and got into the cab.

The driver seemed like a Kumbh Mela bichda bhai of K. He asked us to hide the kid since traffic cameras might spot us with a child on the lap which is illegal . Try hiding a toddler who is as slippery as eel. The hour long journey seemed an eternity after which we all heaved a sigh of relief.

2. The name of the hotel in our booking reference was Hilton Belfast TemplePatrick. Since we were totally new to the city, we said the name to the cab driver at the airport. He said it was a 25 mins drive. It seemed a bit strange since we were sure, it was some 10 minutes away. Well, we could have been mistaken. So we went ahead and reached the hotel. All the while, we were totally buying the cab driver's offer to take us on local tours. We reached the hotel and our booking was not to be found. Weird. We searched our printouts, the lady at the desk searched her records, there was nothing to be found. Ultimately we realised, we were supposed to be at Hilton TemplePatrick while we had been deposited at Hilton Belfast. Urgh. We had to back track 20 minutes, not to mention the money lost and the time wasted. The cab driver also lost some future customers. Hmpf! 

3. Most of our trips post Chiyaa revolve around her. So the first stop was a zoo! I was very keen for the zoo, since it housed elephants. We have been to a lot of zoos but never seen one with the pachyderm. We decided to give it a go. It was very thrilling to watch all the different animals. Penguins, giraffes, elephants and flamingos particularly appealed to Chiyaa. Papa was especially excited to see giraffes and sea lions. So the zoo was a resounding success. We decided to book our return cab by the same company whose cab had ferried us from the incorrect hotel to the correct one ;) They estimated the time of arrival at 30 minutes away. We started winding up our tour as we neared the 30 minutes deadline. 40 minutes gone, no sign of the cab. 60 minutes gone, no sign of the cab yet! It was getting colder, windier and evening was setting on. Chiyaa's susceptibility to cold worried us. K rang the company and there was no response. The zoo was not in the middle of the city either. It was on top of a hill and coming down on foot would have been a challenge for Mummy and Papa. At long last, 70 minutes later, we got a call informing us the cab slated for us had met with an accident and a backup was on its way for us. The back up reached 1 hour and 45 minutes after we had placed our initial call! It was really a tiresome wait, trying to keep the kid engaged while battling the cold and the wind.

4. We reached our rooms and we did not need anything more than Mummy-made-room-coffee. She can breathe life with the bare minimum elements. It had been a really long day. All we needed was some shut eye. 

5. We spent most of the next day roaming the coast of Belfast in a cab. It was a very picturesque drive . Once we reached the hotel, Chiyaa seemed to be having a temperature. It had come from nowhere. We were worried sick. We applied lots of menthol balms and hoped and prayed that she got well soon. 

6. By God's grace the temperature had receded the next day. It was mostly tours of the city in an hop in hop off bus . Now the little birdie was not very happy being seated in the bus for long durations. She kept singing twinkle twinkle little stars at a volume such that stars could also hear it! There were moments when the tour guide had to stop talking till her voice receded ;)  She went on her singing spree. We tried to keep her a bit quieter by giving her a sticker book. She loves stickers!!! She was engrossed for sometime till the driver had to brake suddenly . She hit her head on the front board. She let out a wail. And kept crying for a good 15 minutes. There was nothing that could pacify her. The guide literally hushed for the while duration. The poor bunny tired herself and slept off after that :(

7. We retired early the next day too since as usual we had an early morning flight and as usual K was the panic cat. I had set the alarm for 4 since we were checking out at  5. Around 0420 there was a loud knock at the door. Guess what? Yes we had slept through the alarm . We did not have any check in luggage. And we had managed to carry a toothpaste which was more than 100 gms on weight. It was dumped by security on the onwards flight. Papa's toothpaste had survived since it was a smaller tube. So we were sharing that . Since we had not gone to their room till 0415 they inferred we might be sleeping and came to give it to us! Imagine if we had our own toothpaste and Mummy Papa had assumed we were on with our morning chores till the 11th hour!!! Oh the horror !! Dekha jo hota hai insaan ke bhale ke liye hi hota hai!

We are all back home and the normal routine has resumed as the brilliant holiday with those wonderful experiences never happened. But the heart holds such wonderful memories that it can barely be uttered in words! 

(H)aving mom around

Any help with a toddler is always welcome . It has been a fortnight since mommy landed here. Things are definitely different . 

Since Chiyaa is a bit grown up, she recognised mom as the woman who comes in video calls every day :D She had her initial reluctance but slowly got comfortable with mom. Mummy took charge very quickly . She overtook the reigns of the kitchen and the house as if she had always been around . I had to advise her to slow down and let her body rest and get used to the changed time zones . But when have moms listened to their daughters *rolls eyes* She wanted to go the full stretch and keep Chiyaa with her totally . We insisted that she should continue going to daycare. 

To fully squeeze the bonus of mummy we had another situation thrown at us. K's work place changed. He had to commence working in another city which was half an hour's train journey from our current location. His total commute upped to 1.5 hours taking into consideration the travel times from the stations to work or home. Quite a movement from where he was once upon a time where he would cross a street to get to work! 

K starts really early but thanks to mom Chiyaa let's me get ready and start to work. The kid does throw a little tantrum cos she knows she can. Mummy takes care of her morning breakfast, lunch and massage. After she has napped, mom drops her at the day care. Mummy catches her breath by gymming! Yea we have an on-campus gym and though K and I might be sloths mummy uses it every day to get some cardio. Once I start from work, I send a quick message and we meet mid way and pick the little bird . With Chiyaa at home all things hover around her. So this short walk of 10 minutes is the time mom and I get to talk about general things . It is so different from the good ol days when mom and I would spend hours talking about anything under  the sun.   Gone are the days when I used to lounge on mommy's lap and keep yakking or reading or simply having my hair tossed . Sigh!

The three of us return to a very clean house. Mummy ups the ante when it comes to keeping the house clean . I am a bit of a cleanliness freak so coming to a neat and tidy home pleases me a lot! After some quick calls to Chennai granny and BBSR grandad, I get on with cooking. Mom's yummy lunch is my dinner but I need to cook for K since his tastes are a bit different from way things are in my maternal home. We have a buffet table for dinner with nearly 3 items everyday! We have inculcated mummy too into the Breaking Bad fold. After Chiyaa has retired we watch a couple of episodes before calling it a day. Mummy says our routine is akin to a practice in villages in India where after dinner people go and view dramas enacted on the road side:) 

I cannot imagine how we would have coped with my full time work, K's changed job and the demanding little munchkin if it was not for mummy. I dread to think of the scenes 5 months down the line. As of now, I am loving it! Ta ra ta ra ta!

I would hate to be my mother

PS. A very candid personal post ahead, might bore a lot of people :D

To have lost her father when she was a child. Mummy says, being 8 years old, she felt the gravity of the situation like a torrent. Life was never to be the same again. Granny had to fend for 3 daughters. She had to complete her Bachelor in Education and get a job in a school. Very scrupulously she saved money and fended for her kids. Being the eldest quite a bit of the onus fell on Mummy to support granny's endeavours. As a child, helping in the cooking, household work and care of her sisters. As she grew, in the choice of the courses she could take dependent on funds (she is a brain). Then in the time she could keep delaying her marriage. She was dismissed sometimes for being 'dark' but eventually she got my 'fair' dad as her life partner.

Marriage came with its own baggage. Papa had a big family with 7 siblings and he being the one in the city - a lot fell on him. There was a lot of cost cutting on the part of my parents. But I remember my paternal grandparents till their dying day say that my mom and dad took them to Calcutta. Which was a very big thing for them! Mummy always says their blessings were a major reason why we are where we are. (May they rest in peace)

As soon as sis and I were a bit grown up, Mummy had to take up a job. She says it was because Papa encouraged her, but I am sure there was a bit of financial pinch behind it all the time. She joined as a lecturer in a government college. Government job came with transfers and movements. I was too young to understand, but I remember a span when I was with Papa and my sis with Mummy. I never gave it a thought till much later, but I imagine Mummy living away from one child and her husband – I feel it is a lot to cope. There was a phase when she had to live in another town all by herself and sis and I stayed with Papa to not discontinue our education. She used to make an over night bus journey to come and see us over weekends and holidays. Much later when I joined NIT and used to make over night trips in the bus, I could feel some of the pain Mummy must have. We used to travel in groups, so some small talk between us group of girls would distract me from the thought of my family. But imagine having no one for company and waving your kids and husband goodbye from the bus window. I remember my eyes singing with tears every time. Sis being the kiddo used to cry out loud.

Not only the emotional aspect, the journeys were physically taxing too. In the winter months, the buses would be veritable refrigerators. No amount of clothing can protect one from the chilly winds as the bus sped through deserted hilly terrain. Mummy used to say, during the rainy months, there would be sporadic landslides. The bus would need to take a detour, but the only way to reach a point where a detour could be made was driving in reverse for something like a kilometre many a times. It sounds a very desperate attempt to keep on working, but I feel the needs must have been that dire. Sis and I never faced any sanctions on our demands. We were given the best education and infrastructure to progress. I know many of my friends whose parents had to curtail some of their wishes to make ends meet. I really appreciate what our parents did and how they maintained the perfect balance by never spoiling us. Till date, sis and I understand the value of each penny we spend.

My parent's struggle makes me a bit less judgemental of some of the choices my peers make. Now a days I see a norm being rampant of partners not being co-located, being even in different continents. I know it sounds bizarre and beats the whole purpose of being a family, but then I feel, its human nature to stretch and see if something works out, 'this one-time'. If they do, and God willing the situation does not arise again, its all good. If it comes over again, the first stop gap solution makes them undertake the venture again. If they came out of it once, they can surely manage again. Thus goes on a vicious circle. I am no one to interpret other's lives, but I surely am not quick to jump to conclusions when I come across such scenarios.

Life went on and mom finally landed with an awesome job in a place where she could be with us! Hurray! But by that time I was ready to leave the nest. J The job was too good to be true. Location wise, salary wise, challenges wise, people wise. It was just splendid. If things are too good to be true, they are too good to last long. There was a decision to consolidate branches of the institution and Mummy was offered her position in Ranchi. Since by this time sis and I were on our own career paths, she did not think twice about calling it quits. I squirm to think how the decision might have felt for her. With still close to 15 years of service there might have been so many more accolades she could have attained. (She was always appreciated for her teaching, her personal involvement with the students and her fantastic presentation skills) Being a working mom, I quiver whenever I am presented with a choice of career vs. home. I know I always choose home, because I have only one shot at it, I always look back at career with forlorn eyes. Thankfully such instances have been few and far between, but I hope I am not presented with the calls that Mummy had to make.

Tomorrow Mummy reaches here to be with us for some time. Chiyaa's constant illness and my full time job warranted the need for extra support. We have decided to go the two pronged way. Chiyaa will goto day care one half of the day and Mummy would take care of her for the other (Since mil had left after a year's stay, calling her again would not have been 'safe' from a visa perspective). At least for the next 5 months we wish Chiyaa gets the customised home care that every growing child needs. It has been 1 year and 7 months since Mummy saw her only grandchild. There are video calls every day, but being there in person, hearing her giggles, seeing her tantrums, watching her sleepy eyes in the morning, holding her butter fingers, kissing that cherubic head, getting the wettest kisses and enjoying the countless moments every day  - it is something I would not want her to miss. As has been the glowing theme of Mummy's life, nothing comes without a price. She has to leave my sister who is not yet 'settled' i.e.  married. I know the thought will always bother her like a nagging scar. As she must have waved goodbye to Papa and sis I believe one half of her heart would be torn with the thought of leaving them while the other would be brimming with joy for seeing the kiddo.

At every turn in my life, Mummy's support has been momentous for me. She has always been the pillar who made everything seem achievable. She has shaped me, my opinions, and my attitude. She has remained away from me for long spans of my life, but she has never been absent. She has always struck the perfect balance holding me, shaping me and then letting me go, try and fail when the situation arose. She has been through lots of tough times, and I wish she one day has unadulterated happiness.

In sync

I think I have written it on the wall how much I adore my beautiful mom! Not only I adhere to a lot she says, I also relate to her a lot. 

She and I are married to men who share the same birthdays so temperamentally they are very very alike. We both endure the same kinda situations cos of the men in our lives. Its the same kind of reasoning that works with them, its the same kind of pampering that works with them and its the same kind of scolding that again works with them. I always thought I could handle someone like dad very easily because I was the one who handled him best in the family. But then handling someone like a daughter and handling someone as a husband is an entirely different ball game. So now I can understand how my mom would have been tempted to put a gun on dad's temple and make him acquiesce to certain decisions. Or why she would go completely ballistic on some issues when my dad would be blissfully drowned in the editorials of some newspaper. She was always the one who knew the pulse of the any scenario while my dad was the one who preferred taking the path of least resistance. I have increasingly felt that K and my machinery also works the same way as it does for my mom and dad. With this I have begun to identify even more with my mom.

We also share the same moonsign! We kind of go through the same phases during the same times. Now, as I am in a proper limbo with respect to my career and personal dimension, exact same is the situation with my mom. Her personal side is taken care of, cos more or less everyone is settled (Touchwood) but her professional one is in doldrums. Ever since I came down to Bhubaneswar, we have spent hours on end speaking to each other. We would sit with glasses of the most delicious coffee and go on discussing stuff. Its really wonderful and enlightening talking to her. Sometimes shes the real expert who gives the most deft suggestions. At other times shes like a girl herself aye ayeing to whatever I suggest. There is absolutely no generation gap between the two of us.  Maybe she thinks too ahead of her times or I am with old age thoughts :) -- any which ways neither of us is complaining. How time flies with both  of us just lazying on the balcony and talking about all the things under the sun simply amazes me. 

I still remember a day I came back complaining from school, "I don't have any friends." I am not sure what led to me proclaiming that, but I remember making that announcement. And my mom took me into her arms and said, "Come on I am your best friend. Who said you do not have any friends?" No matter how I have moved and where I have moved, I think this remains the same still. There have been times when I have completely thought poles opposite to her, when I have defied her (and believe me every single time I have repented it, no matter how absurdddd her idea might have seemed to start with) and when I argued with her till the last tooth :D , she has been the one I have returned to always.  Mummy - you are the best!

PS. I am not sure what made me write this post, maybe the realisation yet again of the extent to which she still plays a vital role in shaping me every day.

Now for the gory part *evil*

While at my parent's place, I loved every bit of the time. The lack of routine, wake up when you want, food always being ready, tv remote always being with me :) One thing I was relished this time was my mom's hot champi. I let the oil soak in over night and had a luxurious head bath the following day. But after a couple of hours of that, I started feeling a bit uneasy. Since I had just recovered from a fever, I was doubly worried. Instantly in went a crocin and I felt better in some time. It was the fateful Wednesday when I had to attend the distant cousin's wedding. I had no appetite there. Once back, it was one more crocin for me and mummy's tight hug for a good night's sleep. Strangely next morning around 9 the fever was back. Thursday night when the fever came it came in with a heavy bout of shivering, I decided, there was no way I was making a return trip the coming Sunday. Friday we made a visit to the doc who to nail the usual suspects gave in some usual tests.

When the test results came back in the evening, he suspected some kind of kidney infection :O So he asked us to go in for some more cultures. In the meanwhile, he prescribed some real heavy duty anti biotics. Now the culture results take a good 72 hours to come up. It would be no sooner than Tuesday that we would be getting the report back. My mom was getting worried by the day. The fever used to come with real bad shivering and body aches. The temperature would start with a measly 100 and within 15 minutes peak to a 103-104. The symptoms were akin to malaria too. She got in touch with a uncle of mine, who is also a doc, and asked in case it might be malaria. This time, the malaria test had come negative. But that had been the case last time too, though it was a dosage of quinine only which had brought the fever down. My uncle said, quinine would not harm the anti biotics and he prescribed the dosage of quinine to be taken. So for 4 days I was taking something like 15 pills per day. Morning mom would wake me and give the antacid and the anti vomitting pills (Quinine causes vomitting) (2). I had to take 4 anti biotics per day (2+4=6) Then the 2 quinine pills (6+2=8) 2 more lacto bacillus pills to prevent acidity. (8+2 =10) And the usual B complex tabs (phew 11 ) Plus my body would be ravaged by the fever 4 times in a day mandating the consumption of crocin and bringing the pill count to 15. It was really frustrating to see absolutely no improvement over a span of 5 days. Even the quinine course had not yielded any results.

What saddened me most was the pain of my mom. She was always at my beck and call, massaging my sore back, rubbing the stomach aches, applying balm on the head. To worsen things, I got a cramp in my left shoulder due to the shivering. So there was my mom putting hot water packs too. I was very fussy about food, and even to make me have one morsel, she was out there in kitchen making anything, just about anything I might find palatable. She would be up all night responding to each sigh of mine though she had to be up early morning for the normal household chores. Once I caught her crying when she was praying and I could not stand it. It was just not fair to have her endure so much pain through her child. I just prayed and prayed that I get well soon, atleast for her sake.

Finally on Wednesday when the culture results came back, it was all sterile. Which meant the first results were wrong to start with. Evening we went up to the pathologist and decided to start on a fresh note - which implied a fresh set of tests. When finally the results came on Thursday, it was diagnosed as typhoid :| Luckily for me, the anti biotics that had been prescribed earlier would work good for typhoid as well. But I was to be under the medication for a week more and on restricted diet - no spicy or oily food, no roughage, mostly liquid or semi solid diet. I again extended my stay by a week more. Ironically, my condition improved the very next day. But the stomach aches were persistent which the doctor said would subside only once the intestinal wounds were healed.

I had a huge pending workload staring down at me. The insensitive brutes at office had the audacity to ask status reports from someone who was nearly bed ridden.... seriously the corporate culture does suck away the human aspect from people. But then I was at peace since I was at home. I could just walk into the balcony and smell the flowers to feel better. I would put my lazy feet up in the sunshine with a worn novel in hand and feel so happy. I would take a walk around the house and forget every care. Since my wedding vacation, this was the only time, I got 3 weeks at my parent's place. For that matter even during the wedding vacation, I was with my parents for 10 days only. Maybe God devises strange ways to keep people together. Whatever happens does happen for the very good.

Now that I am finally going to leave Bhubaneswar the coming Sunday, it kind of saddens me. Even my parents are also coming to terms with the fact that I am finally going back to Chennai. Its never enough with the parents :( Heres hoping for one more long trip back at Bhubaneswar..........

Bas yun hi

Seems as if I am writing after eons. Work kind of kept me off blogging completely. And so much has happened in the midst that now I am at a loss at to where to start from.

A hell of a lot has been happening on the work front. Finally I seemed to be inching towards a role which I always thought of doing - and I feel challenged every moment of it. Managing people - its cakewalk if you take it as just another task, but if you decide to do it properly and with your conscience not pricking you, it is tough. Atleast for me as I am taking the baby steps.

In the midst my mom had visited Chennai - for a seminar. And so God had it, that the day she arrived, we had a 3 day visit scheduled for US execs. So much so that I was not even able to go the station to receive her. It made me guilty to no ends. Mil also said, I should be taking a day off and be with my mom the day she arrives, but sadly, we had a round table scheduled that day with a top shot and it might not have looked nice if I would have missed it. And my mom, as the feisty lady she is, said point blank there was absolutely no need for me to stay back and she would do just fine the whole day with mil. Still till she reached home, I stayed back so that I was atleast in a position to welcome her home - this being the first time she came here - the other time she had come was during the wedding and that was too hectic and jam packed with rituals for her to actually be with me. I was casually working on something expecting a call from her any moment asking for directions to our apartment or something, that I heard the sound of a vehicle. Just for the heck of it, I peeped from the balcony - and there she was! I was so amazed - without knowing the language, being here first time un escorted - bingo there she was!!! And the first thing she said on seeing me was " Why aint you in office?!" I was like "Mummy!!" And gave her the biggest hug possible!

After carrying her stuff to our home, I set her on the morphology of the house - the bathroom, the kitchen, the toileteries etc and scooted to office. On getting the least bit of free time I called her up to check how she was doing and with a giggle in her tone she answered that she and mil were off shopping in T Nagar! End of day, they had purchased 8 sarees between each other. And they even made a trip to Mylapore to the Kapaleshwar temple. There in some shop, mom had chanced upon Hema Malini! Yep, the actress! :D After a hell of a lot of snacking and packing for family, both samdhans had come home and were waiting for me to be back. Sadly I was in only by 2230 :( And the joy with which my mom received me, the un measurable pleasurable with which she waited for me and had dinner with me - it just made me realise, why mil dotes so much on K.

The next day mom was busy with the conference. But once back, she and mil took a long walk of the beach, shopped tit bits from the roadside vendors, snacked upon stuff, chatted, did cooking, arranged vessels, folded clothes - the whole lot of it. I was so charmed to see their easy camaraderie - touchwood. Generally down south, the relationships between sambandhis(I am at a loss for the english equivalent for it - could some one help me :S ) are a bit formal, I had felt ,while up north, its a very jovial and informal one. I was a bit skeptical as to how the two ladies might get along with each other - and it was really heartening to see them actually get along like a house on fire! So much so on friday when I came back early to be with mom, I found the house locked! They both had ventured to some hotel for grub! And on the way they even played rescue rangers for a poor couple who did not understand Tamil who were being harassed by an unscrupulous auto rickshaw driver! I was ahem speechless.

The penultimate day before mom left, she and I chanced to have a real long walk. We never intended for it, but it so happened that we walked some 5kms maybe discussing everything under the sun. My mom is everything I always want to be - smart, pretty, gregarious, vivacious and intelligent. If some one ever says I am half as good as her - that would be hmmm something for me. Now that shes gone back, there's a strange vaccuum in the house...... Love you Mommy.