On, Off, On, Off and then Full ON!

We had planned the trip to Bangalore just two weeks prior to the date of journey. And in mere two weeks, things can precipitate pretty rapidly.

As we were counting days and entering the week of the journey, piggy flu hogged the headlines of all national dailies. I having a penchant for catching the cold easily ended up being on every well meaning relatives' radar. "Are you sure you want to travel?" Now when someone asks such a question, one is bound to have doubts. K suggested that we should cancel the trip. My sissy had plans of coming over from Mysore and visiting us. I was too agog to be with her and loiter around for 2 good days. Now that our plan was on the verge of being canceled, I asked her to loose the enthu and get back to her training. :(

But K was not one to let go of a trip to his favorite place so easily. He said, we would buy masks, wash hands, not eat outside and carry lots of amrutanjan to get rid of the cold as soon as I get a whiff of it. My mom was worried sick. I convinced her that I would be fine. The trip was on.

Finally, the trip seemed to be a possibility and I mentally started making a note of the stuff I would need to pack. My sissy called and said she was not having any company to accompany her to Bangy. This would have been my sister's maiden journey out of her city and my mom was damn scared of her making it all alone. So Momma asked her to stay put at Mysore itself. Now that little sissy was not gonna come to Bangy, it completely dampened my spirits. Seeing her was the high point of my travel. I hoped, even if I was not able to buy any thing, at least I would get to spend some time with her which would be more than fulfilling. I thought it would be a better idea to make the trip when she would also be in a position to come to Bangy and more over with the swine flu scare et al, it was best to not undertake any travel.

Par dil hai ki manta nehi :) And on Friday morning I decided, we should go ahead with the trip. No matter what. On hearing my conviction sissy said, she would come to Bangy. No matter what. While returning from work, I shopped for some goodies for sissy and then mom called and said, sissy would not make it to Bangy cos she was caught up with some work. I guess she had some test or something coming up. On the spur I said, I would make a trip and visit her at Mysore. Going all the way to Bangy but not being able to see her who was just 3 hours away seemed very un fair.

This time K and I had booked our tickets in the sleeper bus services that run from Chennai to Bangy. It was an entirely different experience. It is extremely comfortable if one chooses to ignore the rude behavior of the bus conductors. Banglore as usual filled us both with nostalgia as it never ever fails to do. The atmosphere itself is vibrant with a feel which is so very different from the tradition soaked Chennai. The malls, the youth thronging the streets, the westernised attires - the city has spunk. Saturday 4 and half straight hours I spent shopping for clothes and got some real good buys at Brand Factory - 3 pairs of trousers and 4 shirts. K had to stand the entire agonizing duration and had to go through my "should I take this?", "do I look fat in this?", "does this color go well with my skin tone?" and a zillion and one "gal questions". He lost his patience, shouted at me, complained why was I even bothering to ask his opinion when ultimately I was doing contrary to what he was saying, and also gave me some real good suggestions to mix and match. That done, he purchased some shoes and I got a pair of jeans from a factory outlet. It was a very tiring exercise. But all the purchases were worth it :)

That done, we travelled one half of the city to meet my friend Sam. I helped her around with some of her shopping. No sooner than we had settled our selves in KFC with a lemon and a mango banana Krusher, that I got a call from sister in law saying it was time to head home for dinner. It was already 7 in the evening and she was hosting dinner with some other relatives. I was with Sam for hardly an hour, and it was sad to leave her so soon, but then some things got to be done.

The next day started early with us leaving home at 7. The journey to Mysore ended at 12 noon and I met my dear sis. She was just the same, but with some dark circles under her eyes. We had lunch at a place called Parklane. We had random conversation flowing and she narrating tales of her office and training in her childlike fashion. Post lunch, for the lack of time or space for anything else, we 3 just sat on a wall near a park and chit chatted. The clock struck 2 and we had to start the return trip to Bangy since we were heading back to Chennai that very night. It took a 4 hours to get back home. I travelled for nearly 7 hours to be with darling sissy for 2. But it was worth it. I would have felt very empty if I would not have seen her. And K was a real sweetheart to accompany me. I know he would have, but he understood my wish to meet my sister and accompanied me rather than doing so as a chore was what made it beautiful. God bless him :)

A trip, which might never have happened, was so close to never happening, but when it did - it was something. A vacation plan we had made for October got cancelled cos of K's office work yet again. Maybe a Bangy visit again would be enough to cheer us up :)

Weekend Musings

The life of a software professional is from one weekend to the next. And the weekend which went by, 1st and 2nd of August to be precise was a pretty tumultuous for me.

Now let me build the background a bit before I leave my readers completely bamboozled. I think there is one unsolved mystery which could make it to atleast one of the many freak shows on tv. And that is of married women putting on weight out of no reason at all. My friend A and I spend a good amount of time mulling over this life and confidence altering fact. :( We are just not able to figure out, why inspite of everything remaining same, just having a life partner makes the body's equation with calories go berserk. I am more on the utterly critical side, cos I hit the gym regularly, do cardio, pump weights and all I get in return is reflection which shows tyres. Come on now, how pathetic is that!!?? :( As a consequence, except for one pair of jeans, I was weaned of all my western wear and am surviving on the same, boring, repetitive wardrobe of kurtas :(

But last weekend, I pumped up by my mom whose words, confident is what confident does went the bold way and decided, I am ready to accept this new me which looks more like the Michelin Man. K was highly supportive and we ventured on the highly ardous journey of getting me a new wardrobe of western wear. 4.5 hours spent in Spencer's Plaza ( allegedly a mall which sports 'most' of the brands) and I resulted in a naught in the western wear section and got 2 more kurtas... bwaaaaa (who wanted more kurtaaaasss boooo hoooo ) I was devastated. The size which would fit me, did nt have the colors I wanted. The colors I wanted teased me for being the size I was in. It was a diabolical smirk of fate.

In spite of all the pep talk from K about me getting back to my previous size thanks to my 'regular' and 'rigorous' and 'religious' gym routine - I felt dejected. I was switching between unsurmountable wrath to unfathomable grief. After a point, K lost his patience, and washed his hands off the entire affair. I tried many things to revive my spirits, but even ginger tea did not work that day.

Thats when my mom called up. First I thought, I could spare her the grotesque details of the day, but then me being me, had to off load everything to my darling mom. And she being she, gave the most bizzare idea - "Go to Bangalore for shopping, that place has better choices" Ahem! well, not infeasible, but is nt it carrying the whole thing a bit too far? Just for a new wardrobe am I supposed to travel to another state? None the less, the girl talk and the irrelevant planning of where all I could shop there, give bring the smile back :D. I casually mentioned it to K, and he said "Why not??" Ahem ahem.... are pigs flying??? He stated, we could meet a lot of relatives and generally roam around too - Bangalore being a place which sparked our 'romance' holds a special place for both of us. So we are all set to travel to Bangalore the Independence Day weekend. I would also get to meet my kiddo sis and a whole lot of friends and relatives.

If fate turns out my way, I will be back with some chic clothes too. Keeping my fingers crossed.

A trip and some thoughts

Last weekend K and I made a trip to Ooty with K's project team. Frankly speaking, I am not a fan of cooler climes. They trigger an unprecedented bout of sinus and leave me dazed and harried. It was group trip, and the only person I knew from the group was my husband :S - this thought caused further trepidation. And I am not so much of a "group" person either.

In spite of these blatant negative pointers, somehow I had an irrational feeling - that the trip would be good. And It was!

For starters, for the first time, of all the journeys we have undertaken, K and I were well ahead of time in getting to the station. Since it was a completely Tamil speaking crowd I would be travelling with, I had braced myself to get mega bored, as I had on previous occasions with K's friends. ( If any of K's friends except the Dino are reading this - please don't take any offense :) ) I had decided that, as my last resort, I would start reading the novel I was carrying risking the fact that I might look like an utter snob by doing so. But then you gotta do what you gotta do. Once the train started and the conversations too started flowing, I sat through it entirely without getting the least bit bored. I did not understand 85% of what was going on, but then I amused myself by observing the animations on each ones face, the different accent with which some people spoke, the affected mannerisms of others and generally analysing and passing verdicts on each one. I did that for 2hours 15 minutes after which I got tired of the cramped space and made my move to doze off.

I am not sure if I have "evolved" after the stay at a place whose lingua franca I do not understand. If I have, I am very pleased with the evolution. :) I no longer get peeved by the fact that folks do not even bother to ask me my name. I do not object to the fact that the majority tongue flows freely with scant regard that a person might be interested in getting into the conversation. And when there is something I feel I should know, I innocently interrupt with an"English please :D " and dont feel abashed at doing so either. I wish I was so footloose free on prior occassions. I would have done myself a mighty favor. But then, evolution happens only with time.

On reaching Coimbatore, the ride to Ooty was a pleasure to say the least. I hate the color green. On previous visits to hill stations, whenever any one would draw my attention to the greenery, I used to remark - "Am I a cow to go ga ga over this!!" This trip was meant to be different - I found the greenery refreshing.


The trees were washed fresh with sporadic showers. The clouds fumed from the base of the mountains. The roads were wide and the hair pin curves did not cause a mutiny in the organs. I thoroughly enjoyed the uphill ride.

Once set in the cottages, I got ready for the sight seeing with amazing alacrity. The places we went to were resplendent with an old world charm. I had heard about Ooty being crowded, commercialised and chaotic. But I found it out of the world, one which very much deserved being called the Queen of the Nilgiris. K and I walked along a lot.

There were 2 other couples, one recently married and another as old as us. The newbies were eager to get clicked beside every tree and hedge. The older one, took a more mature stance. While K and I were behaving like old friends. We held hands with ease and K did help me in conquering a couple of tough rocks. Then I remebered how a couple of days after wedding I had felt strange that K and I are not so demonstrative of our affection as some people are. I remember writing in this post, how I felt my sis in law and her hubby being publicly affectionate. During this trip, I could feel the comfort K and I shared even in a social arena. It needs time to get used to being with the new person post marriage even if its a love marriage. It is something like a new friendship. One takes those baby steps first, sheds inhibitions slowly and then becomes completely comfortable. For a friend also no one gets to the back slapping comfort zone from the day one. It takes time to build that camaraderie. Same it works with a spouse too. When I reached this profound conclusion, I felt even better. :)

The sight seeing at Ooty was very satisfying. The crowning glory was the ride in the heritage train. After a fully packed 2 day tour, I slept like a log during the return trip and woke up with a splendid sinus the next morning. Good enough, for things should never be too good :)

I am actually doing this :O

I always take pride in being this practical girl. Till I was tagged by Deeps.
This is how the tag goes, I got to fish for a picture on My Pictures and tell the story behind it. That very day I happened to read this from Ashu which made me zero in on a picture I am reallllllllllllly scared to put. This is gonna ruin my reputation! :( The personal laptop being kaputsy, has added to the burden, since I just got a limited choice on my office laptop - I had no other option but to put this pic :( :( :(


Yes people laugh all you want. This is the handwriting of yours truly(except for one place where K has replied with lipstick :( ) and thanks to Ashu's post which was so corny in parts, I boiled down to this particular picture and now for the story.

Well, in the recent past I had posted about my feelings on going to my parent's place without K and all. So when the day came for me to leave Chennai, I took these post its and put them in different places. Some were within reach, the bathroom mirror, the tv set, on the wardrobe, on the microwave, on the fridge and one on his tooth brush. Some were the sneaky ones which needed proding to reach, for instance - shoes, in the cover of the trimmer( K uses his trimmer and blissfully forgets to keep it inside the case, so it was a challenge), one on the plant in the balcony ( now that was a risk, but I ensured the post it was tightly attached, this was more of a test how often he would water the plants :P) and a few on the cutlery. K did manage to find EACH one of them :) Smartie hubby of mine *bats eyelid*

I am not sure what made him take a click once he had collected them. He took a click of few of them and am not sure if he lost the rest by the time he decided on taking a picture.

Well.... hmm so.. thats my rather embarassing story.
Now for my turn to pick the people who should spill their beans
Satish, Shylu, Ashu, Raaji

When will this pass?

Its going to be close to a week since we saw off dear sissy at her work - and the emptiness is yet to go. What bothers me more is the state my parents are in. I have not heard them happy since Monday. There is a strange note in their voice - something which makes me feel like leaving everything and rushing to them.

When I moved out of the house, which was a good 9 years ago, never once did my parents urge me to come home. Yes they used to miss me and they wished I was around with them, but they always stressed what I was doing then was more important than home. I always had stern directives, if classes are a bit slack then come home. If the project release is over, then come home. I always had an assurance, they are fine without me. Even if they missed me, it never came out overtly except sometimes over phone calls and letters. I always felt my parents are self reliant and I used to be proud of the fact.

But now that they are alone, their loneliness just comes through in every word they say. In spite of having an active social life, I feel as if they are yet to escape their loneliness. Mom asked me if would be possible for me to come over for a week in July and dad went to the extent of saying, take a month's leave and be with us. I know they are saying all this in a fit of weakness and emotions. Still it makes me feel helpless. It is so unfair, that parents spend a good part of their lives fending for the very children who one day might not even be close to them. The gross injustice of this fact leaves me suffocated.

And I feel completely at a loss reaching a solution for this scenario. 2 days back, I was nearly tempted to ask my supervisor, if it would possible for me to attain a work from home option alternate months or so. On another occasion I was thinking, how good it might be if my parents move base for a year or so, say take up a house in my city and be here just to be closer to us. Otherwise I keep mulling how good a puppy be in replacing us and then again I wonder, how about adopting a child and giving a good upbringing for someone with a disadvantage. I do know that all these options are just an eye wash - a mere veneer to cover a deep scar. But I so wish, I had some remediation. I see the same situation for a lady who is our neighbour. She too has 2 daughters, married and settled and her husband is no more. She is as busy as any other working lady being voraciously involved in religious and charitable activities. I admire how she gives the same commitment to so many activities she is involved in. But when sometimes mil says, she breaks down into tears sometimes when she was misses her husband and her children, I felt exasperated.

Phew! I am not sure if I went through a whole lot of ranting. Some of my readers are in the situation my parents are in - I would love to hear how they deal with it and maybe give some insights into how my parents might be feeling at deeper level. If they feel there is something I should do that could better things, I would be most welcome to do it. I hope this passes over soon :S

Feeling blue

Since the month of March, ever since I came back from a visit to my parents, I was waiting for June 17th. The day they would come to Chennai and we would make a trip to Mysore to see off my sissy for her job. And the run up to their arrival was filled with so much anxiousness. I wanted everything planned to the T. Since there would be 6 of us travelling- I had the hotel rooms and the cab for travel pre booked. When I learned that my sissy (being my sissy ) had a luggage count of 5, I started scurrying for an optimum vehicle. I had to scout quite a number of cab providers in the city to finally get to the one which would be able to provide a large enough vehicle. That apart, I got planning on what to cook the next day. My dad has a tongue for non spicey food - which is not so much of a norm in southern India. So I had to coax my mil to let me tweak the food to adhere to my dad's taste. She was exasperated seeing the miniscule quantity of tamarind and red chilly I used. She felt it was sacrilege to make sambar with just a pinch of tamarind and one red chilly (for 6 people) but then I put my two dainty feet down and said "Today you adjust :P "

The whole day prior to their arrival I could barely contain my excitement. My friends would vouch for how I was all pepped up for the upcoming vacation. I was waiting for the clock to tick the day away.

When my folks finally arrived - it was some feeling. The house was full of stuff. The gifts were exchanged - the best being a diamond ring for me from my dad! Over the chatter everyone forgot their apetite. Inspite of my cajoling that mil and I have been up since 6:30 cooking, my folks barely had the hunger. It was only excitement that prevailed - nothing else. A meagre breakfast done, mom, sis and I ventured shopping while dad chose to avoid the tan :) With mom shopping is typical - its a frenzy. She makes sure she checks out everything, more or less visits every shop and ends up buying a lot but each one is simply unique. Sis and I survived the period with mom and also managed 4 awesome buys. That done we strutted home where there were a zillion+1 last minute stuff to be done. Till the last moment we were zipping bags, pushing things into polythene bags to put it properly later in the station, yelling at each other, reminding whether one has taken this or that, checking the taps, the switches, the gas stove - it was pandemonium personified. Thanks to all this - all 6 of us slept like there was no tomorrow in the train.

Reaching Mysore, we had an awesome time. The lesser said the better about the tour. We ate good, we slept well, we had some real nice time talking with eachother, we argued about which way to take, we felt exhausted, we clicked a lotssssa pixies :). The penultimate day did turn out to be a bit on the off side, since we chucked the plans to tour around cos of general exhaustion. But the choice made us all feel a bit lousy and bored towards the afternoon. But then - nothings perfect. That night mom, sis and I chatted late till the night. The conversation just flowed easily and did not dwell on anything in particular. We kept on cos we had a feeling - tomorrow yet again we go separate ways, having no idea when we might meet up again. And tomorrow, the baby of the house - my sis, leaves the nest. It was a feeling full of trepidation and anxiety. But more than my sis, I was worried about my mom and dad. I know having 2 daughters, they might always have prepared themselves for this time, when inspite of needing them the max, they would be without them. But no amount of preparation comes close to the actual event. While dropping sis at her stay, when my dad also shed tears, I felt too frustrated at the damn distances between us :( Wish any one of us was a bit closer to them :( I know my condition is much better than folks who stay across the continents, but then ......

Through out the return journey I was bursting into sporadic tears. I am not a person to let my emotions flow easily, but then yesterday I felt it was better to let go. Giving two hoots to what people might think, K just hugged me and let me be. All the planning, all the preparation everything over in those 4 days and all that remained was a lull and fond memories. K was so used to the ruckus that morning he too had a forlone look. Our house which was such a mess just 4 days ago, seemed so empty. My parents today went into a house where the dirtiest room was the cleanest. It was very painful. But then when sissy called and said, she had slept well and last evening had gone cycling with friends to "survey" the place- we all smiled in spite of her tears. Life is so bloody ironical.

We went greeeeeeeen

No no no not with envy.

Friday, 5th of June was World Environment Day, which had the city plastered with images of save the earth, save water, save the sky and what not. And the next day, which had devil's numbers of 06/06 - K and I went an extra pedal to go green. While other couples may be hitting at the new Ford Icon or the Honda or the Nano (for them who want to start small), we went ahead an bought a Hercules Arrow.

For people getting this image in their mind and wondering what gibberish am I muttering - This is what we exactly brought home.

And it was such a wonderful little thing. K rode it the way back from the showroom and he was sweating! And he did feel glad about some of the tomato tummy melting away :) The next day I felt like a child again going round and round in the cycle within the apartment complex :D Felt silly no doubt at first but after a point the inhibitions were also gone.

We were long contemplating the prospect of getting one more vehicle - because sometimes when there were clashes of appointments among the 3 of us, we ended up either siphoning money to the auto rickshaw owners community or one of us ended up chucking the whole plan. And it was never for long distance, only one of us would actually be venturing on a longish journey while the other would be needing the vehicle for a short errand within the perimeter of 5 kms. Under such circumstances buying another vehicle was not so much of a solution, since we were sure the vehicle would just lie around and rot. We keep such busy schedules, we hardly get time to go around a lot. And whenever its long distance its a taxi. So buying a vehicle for running errands was not sound economics at all. But then lately, especially mil's temple trips and my gym routines were clashing a lot.

K had be hinting at buying a bicycle for exercise purpose for a long time - but he wanted that old fashioned, tall, black and ugly looking bicycle made eternal by the Daakiya daak laya song. I somehow convinced him to getting a unisex model in a neutral grey color and one which was a decent compromise to our jarring height difference :)

It was some buy! :) We were thrilled to own it. K and I have vowed to take it for all the short trips around. No more scooty when either of us is going anywhere within 5 kms at least.

Today morning I felt especially proud. I always believe myself to be an environmentally concious person. As far as possible I try to avoid plastic bags, don't litter around, try to educate others and so on. But today, when I took the cycle, I felt really good. Afterall if each drop can make an ocean, each person's small act can change the world. Can't it?