Same old but still feels new

Things are definitely crazy. How time goes from 6 in the morning to 10 at night still baffles me. Well not technically baffles me, I do know where it goes :D . There is first the couple of quiet hours when I am at total peace with my work. Some days are real productive while others are weird where I am stuck and just want anyone from my team to be up to troubleshoot. Coding is a lot of team work you see. 

Once the kids are up, its managing them and their school work. Again some days are a breeze where the kids are quite self sufficient. But other days which are oh so mad with me literally ripping the hair off my head! There are days when they are crazy noisy and I end up doing most of my work incorrectly. They end up getting a bit of a scolding, with a load of guilt on either sides :(  I hear Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! incessantly all through the day. It sure is maddening. But I love the lived in feeling of the house as well. The girls play in the living room and make a total mess. The house is littered with coloring equipment, paper, dolls and what not. I do not enjoy the million and one times the cleaning operation has to be undertaken. But it is lovely to see them living and making memories in this home. Kids leave the house a bit too soon with the inching away from parents happening early on. But now when I see them growing and changing literally 24/7, I feel an odd sense of satisfaction. I see the difference between last year and this. Chiyaa needed so much more monitoring a year ago. She is so much more independent now. She handles her classes by herself. We have taught her to take printouts and she has her own set up. She is all grown up chatting with her friends and sharing gifs. Its hilarious how they find the gifs so amusing and a bit annoying too when she spends that much time searching gifs :D Pumpki was not in school last year. But this time around she is. Managing her is harder, because she needs more help. Still it is endearing to see how her mind works and how she approaches her tasks at school. They are missing out on the social aspect a bit. As a person, I do not give a huge importance on that. Yeah unsocial me!

The multi tasking doesn't end. In the midst of calls, we have to act as technical support for the classes. In the midst of work, we have to answer demands for water, toilet, pencils, papers and a thousand things that kids can need. It is nerve wracking. There is not a moment of 100% concentration except the wee hours of the morning. But there is a strange pleasure in the relentless work too. Earlier there was the mad rush of getting out of the house, maneuvering the commute and dealing with people face to face. Now there is the mad rush trying to do many things at the same time. But somehow I prefer the latter mad rush. Being the unsocial loner that I am, I far more enjoy the craziness of my own family than deal with strangers. So though things are definitely busier, there is a strange sense of calm. 

I hope the kids cherish these memories. I know its so much harder for a lot of families. I count my blessings as I feel the comfort of being able to provide for my kids. I treasure how lucky I am that I can spend time with my children inside and outside the house without being burdened by financial or other worries. By the grace of God, our elders back home are also doing well which is reassuring. The disease will leave the face of the world changed. But as we are riding the storm, all I feel is gratitude.

First post of the decade !

 This is becoming a routine too. The holiday blues at the end of the festive break in December. The holidays this year have been unique in a lot of respect. Since we were in the midst of a new strain of the virus, there were requests not to mingle a lot. So it was again a period of family time. We are  lucky to be surrounded by a lot of green and open spaces where we took many walks. We also went to a lot of parks and open areas. The walks were great and for one walk Chiyaa even said she loved it! 

Somehow I did not cook as much. And somehow weirdly I did not read as much or read to the kids as much as I would have liked. I managed to refurb a couple of stools which gave a good sense of achievement to me. 

Last year my parents where with me during the time so the impact of getting back to work was somehow shielded. This year I felt a bit too ill equipped. I was dreading the whole rigmarole of waking up to alarm, getting kids ready and the whole nine yards.

But then God is always planning a surprise isnt He? Yesterday afternoon we received a letter from school informing us that the teachers are exercising their rights to not attend an unsafe work environment since they are very concerned about the spread of the virus following the festive season. Hence the school is closed for all students except those identified. This brought up a new challenge for me. The engagement of the girls at home, their lunch, their physical activity - now everything will fall on us after the brief respite of 4 months. This was totally unexpected and will be a very different world with two school going kids this time. My year just got a bit more interesting. :D

A year to remember!

 2020 seems to be getting a lot of flak. But for me it has been the most amazing and unique year.  Starting with mummy and papa it seemed an innocuous start. Things were quite settled as we celebrated birthdays and anniversaries through January and February. With March loomed work from home. Initially  it was a novel thing. Colleagues were enthusiastic about the online meet ups, elders spoke about the unique situation. There was conspiracy and an undercurrent of excitement. Till reality bite. And things were not so hunky dory as the rigmarole of keeping everything normal in the face of abnormal came in.

Schools closed. And that added to the challenge of accomplishing work tasks. Personally for me there was the additional work of the kids entertained and fed at home. At school they have the lunch and playtime ensures adequate physical exercise. Also they have enough extra curricular to keep active.  But with all that being absent a lot fell on our shoulders. Dragging them for walks after a day of work needed will both for us and the kids. But somehow a routine set in in the respect too. We were very very lucky to have Papa Mummy with us who were a major help. My walks with the kids and Mummy, innumerable times through the same woods will be a remarkable memory of this year. 

As the world started opening up in the middle of the year, the return of my parents was to be planned. We had started with the cold winters with the garden being stark, merged on to the warming spring with daffodils and lillies and marched on to summer when in the words of Papa 'everything was full of flowers!' As the seasons progressed to the darker autumn, we bid goodbye to them.

So much had happened over 3/4ths of the year. We had transformed the spare bedroom into office room. There were one addition after another to the office space. Shopping for clothes, accessories and makeup went down to zero while that for fitness and cooking went up. Ah also plants! A lot of new ones got added. We had also managed to metamorphose the children from reluctant walkers to seasoned ones. 

As Papa Mummy reset life in India we reset life here. It was easier no doubt. Picking the kids from school without after school was much to their liking. We were definitely more tight knit as a family as we worked a lot with each other for our engagement and entertainment. We took on the traditions of Ganesh Puja, Diwali, Halloween and Christmas a bit more strongly since obviously I had more time :) We read more. The kids and K watched better shows. It was a really enriching experience. 

This year made me accept and appreciate how much I like spending time by myself and with my select few. I am fanatically unsocial and this year was as if carved out for me. Along with reading I could spend time on art work, home improvements, gardening and cooking. I am never buying peanut butter,nutella or paneer ever again since in the words of K I have mastered them :) . Neither am I going to shy away from exotic plants and homegrown vegetables. I will keep working on my fitness goals which at the moment is the one needing most motivation :) With a year in isolation I have also researched just so many many amazing places nearby. Nothing warrants an expensive holiday when all the kids want is to catch sight of a squirrel in the woods or a bird chirping like crazy on a branch.

As the year draws to a close I hope we all discover the wonderful that is within us. And devise ways and means to enrich ourselves. And if we are content then let's not be afraid to extend a helping hand to others. Some people need help,and might be shy to ask. So even we are the ones saying 'Hi! How are things?' more often than others are, let's  do it. And help one more willing person to be a bit more self reliant. 

As we have seen this year that there are professions which matter - the medics, the teachers, the law enforcement - let's realise that there are things more important than money, fame and success. There is light at the end of the tunnel with vaccines being bought and plans being afoot for mass immunisations. Let's bid 2020 a goodbye as the year that has been unprecented. Difficult yes. But what a lot it has taught  us. A year for reflection. A year to take a step back. A year for taking it a notch down - something  I think we wish for in other years. And let's hope this year gives us a lot of life enriching habits. We have life at the end of this year. Let's acknowledge  and celebrate it. Wishing everyone who passes by a very happy new year!

Mission accomplished

 Maine fir blog maata se mannat mangi thi, yeah kaam sahi salamat kar loon to ek post zaroor likhoongi.

So I had decided I would write a post if I was successful in a venture of mine like I was here. 

Now back to the story. I had a problem since the past 3 weeks. It all started when in a frenzy of being healthy I did a nice and big sumo squat. Something like that 

Now, that messed my left knee. It ached that evening, and I thought it was because of the exercise and would get better in a few days. There was the usual application of pain relief balms. Over the week, the pain got better and I started regular exercising again, though nothing that would impact the knee. All was well, though there was a slight lingering pain which needed regular application of pain relief. Then a week on, the pain was back. Really back. I started popping a few painkillers. But going up and down the stairs was proving really painful. I was not able to put any pressure on my left knee at all. I developed a deep empathy for older people. I have seen how Amma and Mummy climb up and down the stairs with baby steps. And I could finally, totally get their pain! 

Even sleeping and turning at night got painful. Apparently I was groaning in pain at nights. Finally I decided to visit the doctor. She saw the swell in the knee and recommended an MRI scan. I was fine for it. That night, the pain was just horrendous. Think that sent a shock wave to my brain which remembered to take an Ibuprofen which is a more powerful painkiller and also an anti-inflammatory. I popped a pill. And I was pain free the next morning! After 3 WEEKS! I felt absolutely no pain in my left knee. (OK a very teensy bit if I paid ultimate attention :D)

With this came the next question - should I now go for MRI? It would be a waste of time and precious medical resources. But there was a more important aspect. 

Part 2 of the story. I am scared of driving. I can drive confidently. But more of the itsy bitsy ones - school runs, swimming classes, nearby mall. But the heavy duty stuff - drive to the sea side, go for an appointment in another city etc etc, I start shi*ting bricks. Please excuse my French. Mostly I am accompanied by K. Dont get me wrong, I have driven to sea-side holidays and appointments to a different city. But I am scared. And in instances when I am super scared I just take the cab. In this instance too, I was keen to take a cab. But it would be quite a ride and for a now non-existent pain, it would be quite an expense. K was super confident that I would be able to manage, given my "experience" and his assessment of me. But I was super scared. This was the major reason, I was keen on backing out of the appointment.

But then I remembered an old advertisement dar ke aage jeet hai :D (There is victory beyond fear) In proper movie-style I replayed the numerous instances I had driven, the times K had commended my driving, the "ok" feeling once I was beyond the steering wheel. Yes I was still rubbish at reading maps and following directions on the navigator, but then, if not now then when. K assured me "Dont worry you wont crash and burn". 

I had a thought, what if  I did. Mere chote chote bacche! But if not now then when? Thats when I took the pledge to write a post. And that was my motivation to go for it! 

Since I am writing this post, reader might have guessed that I did not "crash and burn" :D It was a jolly good ride, though I was sh*ting bricks. But till next time, I feel awfully confident! 

The Diwali the year Covid hit

 2020 will be an unforgettable year for Covid-19. This year a lot of things ground to a halt and changed beyond recognition. A part of me definitely enjoyed the lack of social activities. I also liked the break from kids activities. Weekends were a bit more rested and so were weekday evenings. With the weather getting colder, no one minds the extra time at home.

But like many well meaning people, I have also succumbed to the YouTube feeds of various chefs and cooking channels :) I have become a bit of a "cook from scratch" lady who makes her own paneer, Nutella and peanut butter. Laddoos and pies and tarts are always available in our fridge. But Diwali is extra special isnt it. So I had to up the ante. :) 

A week on Diwali, as the YouTube videos got more manic around the festival, so did my enthusiasm. So over the week K and I consumed 3 batches of laddoos - coconut, wheat flour and gram flour ones. Along with some sev and murukku. The day was reserved for chole puri. I had also prepared some organic colours for the kids to make rangoli. 

Come the D-day, K and I started up with some hearty conversations followed by phone calls to Chennai home. It was a Saturday and because of the second lockdown, we didnt have the usual swimming class in the morning. Which just made it all the more wonderful :) A light breakfast done, the kids were off to playing while I got on with cooking. The girls are EXTREMELY fussy eaters. I was sure the dish's reception could go either ways. But! Once it was ready, the girls loved it! Chiyaa who is the fussier one, said "Mummy this is awesome" I could faint! The kids had their food with all enthusiasm and were even more enthused to make the rangoli. Food done, they got on with it. They made planets are nebulas :D but who cares as long as they are having fun! 

I felt a tad guilty that the kids did not have any dessert. So I offered if we could bake a cake. Now I cannot bake to save my life. No matter which recipe I follow "easiest recipe to moist chocolate cake" or "the best cake recipe you need" - they all are an utter failure for me :( Some are a mild success. And we eat all of them however the outcome. So uttering my prayers to the almighty, I started on with the ingredients for a cake with the kids. The kids definitely need a ganache, else its "too plain". Now that was easy. For once I had the raw materials for that. The cake came out "biscuity", but chocolate ganache saved the day! The kids ate!! Hurray!!

Evening as K was munching on some more savoury snacks, Pumpki came towards him and tried one. She loved it. I nudged Chiyaa to give one a go as well. She said "Mummy can you make lots more of this?" OMG! Honestly I could not have asked for anything more on this auspicious day. This has really revved up the already revved up cook inside me :D 

Sunday I could definitely feel the blues of the most awesome festival being over. We felt loaded with all the food over the past week. But we did need some "simple food" :P because the body needs energy you see. Simple food of rice, sambar, cabbage curry and brinjal curry with yoghurt turned out to be most appetising. Chiyaa and Pumpki got busy with some school work and I had to steel myself to the coming Monday  :( 

A wonderful Diwali was definitely done!

I am my mother

 

There are just so many times I feel exactly like my mother.

When we were kids, we weren’t the best to listen to her. She used keep telling us the same thing a billion and one times. Keep the empty glass away, clean the table, turn off the fan in the other room, switch off the TV, go to study NOW!, come to eat NOW! – And so so so many more. We never EVER listened the first time. Then she would say again. Then again. Maybe on the fifth iteration which would definitely be at a very loud decibel level, we would finally heed. As we would drag our lazy selves to do what ever she had asked us to do, she would invariably say “How would you feel if I don’t do immediately what you ask me to do? Wait when you ask me to do something, I will also do after you have said a million times.”

Lately I see myself saying the same especially to Chiyaa so much! When Mummy used to say that to us, my sister and I would giggle quietly 😃 Now I am just the same and I think my daughters definitely giggle quietly 😃

Being a professor, Mummy had to study late at nights for classes or for research work. She had a 6 day working week too. So Sundays used to be her day to rest. She used to cook a lavish lunch and around 2pm would go to take a nap. We sisters were supposed to be quiet. But. Were we quiet? 😉 We moved around her, playing, giggling, trampling her. She would endure it for some time and then! Bam! Her dam would burst and she would give us a massive scolding.

And guess what? That’s my Saturdays. Saturday is the day I feel more relaxed cos Sunday involves more prep work for the coming week. After a lavish lunch, I feel like curling up in bed with a book. The kids are quiet ok, but they do about playing, giggling and trampling over me. Life has definitely turned a full circle.

As my kids grow, I see myself growing into my mother and my kids into me. The absolute enigma called life.

All so new

 It is all new. It has been the same since March, but still it feels all new.

There are days when Pumpki demands an omelette in the morning. And I make it! I had never imagined sending my kids to school with hot breakfast (unless I was on holiday). But that happens once in a while. When Chiyaa had started school, I was working from home. So I used to get her hair done in a different plait every day (as much as time permitted) Lately it had all watered down to 2 French plaits or a pony tail. Since we are working from home, I can invest some time in making Pumpki’s hair. Not that she is keen on getting anything done. Which is a far cry from her elder sister who loved her hair done in different styles. But if the girls are in the mood and I have creative juices flowing and time at hand, they go to school with a nice hairstyle. 

 But getting them ready and their hair styled, does take time. Upto 30 minutes. Which means I start work at 6 and take a “break” from 0730-0800 ish. It is an unearthly hour to start work. It was very hard initially. But gradually I have gotten used to it. In fact some days if I am unable to wake up (the weather is getting colder you see), I feel the same rush I used to feel running to get to the bus last year. I rush downstairs and heave a sigh of relief once logged in.

 The big changes are still with respect to the kids though. They do not go to after school care. Which means they have to be picked up as soon as the school closes. With after school we used to have a window to pick them up by since the care used to run till 6pm. But now, either of us has to make a dash at 3pm to pick them up. But once back, they are served any food that they might have asked for the previous day. It is fun discussing and deciding what they would want to have the next day.

 K and my weekend runs are a thing of the past. But work and weather depending, we are able to squeeze in 2 runs during the lunch hour. Beggars cant be choosers 😃

 In the midst of all this, I cannot help think about the lovely summer I had with Mummy and Papa. As I reach out for a bottle of spices labelled “Mummy masala” (it is a mix of coriander seeds, cumin seeds, fenugreek seeds, red chillies and some other spices, mixed in ‘mummy’ proportion), or make a cup of tea for myself (which Mummy used to make for me for so long) or clean the windows and panes (which Papa had totally taken over), I cannot help but think of my parents, who were so close and are so far away now. It is still a new feeling getting used to their absence.

 Well… this new is here to stay.  As a popular saying on social media goes “Remember the time when you wished for what you have now!”