Butterflies

 

My family would love a pet. A cat, a dog, a bird, anything would do. The kids wouldn’t even mind a gecko! There was a stroke of luck when my elder daughter started learning about metamorphosis in school. To depict it practically, their teacher had a setup of caterpillars. The caterpillars were in a container, and they slowly grew into chrysalis and became butterflies. She was very keen on having a set up at home too. We  were fine with it since we thought the kids could see the process first hand.

Little did we realise this was their attempt at having a pet. Even if for a short time. They looked at the caterpillars with the diligence of a scientist but with the love of a parent. They made notes, kept count of the number of days to the next phase and even gave them names. The chrysalis hatched and the butterflies remained in the station for a few days being fed sugar water, flowers and juicy fruits. After 4-5 days we released them. And it was such a pleasure to see the kids enjoy the experience. We thought they might be sad at seeing the butterflies go, but kids always see the happy picture. My daughter said, “Now the butterfly can have fresh nectar”. Seeing the brighter side, such an amazing but simple skill 😊

 

 

Pakhala

 For people from the state of Odissa in the eastern part of India, Pakhala is a sacred dish. It smells of summer, of gatherings, of lip smacking delicacies to go with it and a much deserved afternoon siesta to be the crowning glory. Close to the tropics and beside the mighty Bay of Bengal, Odissa has very hot and humid summers. Pakhala is the best recourse. It is cooked rice which is left in water overnight which increases its cooling properties. The light fermentation that comes through in the rice leaves the eater refreshed. Something what an ice cold bottle of beer does in modern times. It is accompanied by a variety  of sauteed vegetables like potato, bitter gourd, okra, aubergine. Mashed potatoes, tomato chutney and badi chura which is something akin to crushed papads are worthy accompaniments. An assortment of grilled and fried sea food grace the plates of the non vegeterians. It is a divine fusion of tastes and texture. The Pakhala Diwas was started by the Odia community to relive this connection with the past.

 

But for me, Pakhala is my Maa. My paternal grandma. She was a simple village woman who was astoundingly ahead of her times. She had to come to help my dad raise my sister and me while my mom was posted in another location because of her job. She was with us for a summer. And every single day it was Pakhala for lunch with a wide and wild array of dishes. She used to lay a paper on the floor (she preferred sitting on the floor and eating as is tradition in rural India) and lay our bowls and plates. We used to eat in reverent silence. Every single day eating Pakhala was a sacred ritual.

 

In the UK, it is rare that we get those enervating hot days. But even a temperature of late teens calls for this dish, to celebrate Maa.

  This is my simple plate with mashed potatoes, grilled sea bass, sauteed kale, savoury tomato chutney and papad.

31

 Is the number of bones in the human spinal chord. They are the ones which keep us erect and are a defining feature of us humans. Nothing is more annoying than a niggling back pain. As a sufferer of sciatica, I have quite a few aches and pains and I marvel at people who have more debilitating conditions and carry on life with a smile. 

This post is not to elaborate of the numerous age related aches and pains I have ;) This post is about the backbones to my existence - my family. As I heaved a sigh of relief at the result of my job application, I could not help but be thankful to the wonderful bunch of people around me. I had to write a program as part of the process. The language was totally new for me, so it was a simultaneous learning and programming experience. Which was stressful and time taking. I set myself a target for completion. During this time I refrained from any of the household chores. My sister picked them up with full gusto. She did the cooking, the cleaning and the lot. My kids were absolute champions too. When I used to take a break, they would ask, "Mummy have you finished?" They kept asking me innocent questions about how the test was going, when the results will be out etc etc. They tried not to come and ask me for stuff when they needed it. They were generally quieter and fuss free. The most important sacrifice they were making was at bedtime. I put them to sleep. But for the 4-5 days I was writing the code, K took that responsibility. K does not like reading bed time stories and the kids prefer me beside them to tuck them in. But for the 5 nights, they adjusted.

I am so thankful to have my backbones. I think about the innumerable women who had to give up a career and their passions for the lack of a supportive family. I have one more blessing to count in this respect.

The irony

 I was anxious about the result of a job interview. And on Thursday evening I got the result of interview. I am through! A different tech stack but more importantly the ability to work from home at all times. I was happy. But I was sadder. At leaving the lovely people at my current work place. 

The location of my current office is a dump. It needs to be exterminated. But the people are so annoyingly lovely. We share the working space with one of our subsidiaries. We don't even work with those people. But they are always smiling, wishing good mornings and hellos. When I finish work, the person at the reception wishes such a heart felt good afternoon. And the less said about my team mates the better. We are such a like minded bunch that it amazes me. They are a good decade younger than me, most of them living with their partners and in the childless and fancy free state, but the mental make up is as if we are clones of each other. In the past nearly 4 years, there has been no bad blood, no snobbery, no politics. Though there have been effective and efficient debates, a lot of teasing and pulling each others legs, it has been just amazing camaraderie. I will definitely miss this amazing bunch of people. Ironically I am sadder at leaving my team than I am happy at the new offer :(

Moving on but keeping in touch

I am a very unsocial person. I don't like interacting with people. I try to avoid circumstances of coming face to face with another human being as much as possible. But I am very honest with people if I may say so. If I don't like a dress on someone and if they ask me, I will say. If I love the decor of someone 's house I will keep waxing eloquent about it. So my interactions are few and far between but they leave me happy (not sure of the other person though ;) )

So the other day a college mate of mine with whom I am in touch posted some pictures on social media. As usual she and her house looked fabulous and I couldn't stop myself from complimenting. She gushed over and called me and we spoke for around 20 minutes or so. It was one of those good candid conversations during which one has a smile pasted on ones face :) 

Coincidentally that evening again another college mate of mine who is in America messaged that she would be making a trip to the UK. We started chatting and discussing itinerary etc, when taking a cue from what my "morning friend" had done, I called her. We spoke for a good 20 mins again. Off the cuff she asked who all from college I was in touch with. I surprised myself by rattling 5-6 names. It was a moment of shock for me for I am definitely not a gregarious gal.

It made me think how relationships change. How as we move on we have a group of peers we get closer to. Peers not necessarily in age, but in circumstances, in life events. It is endearing to notice how once upon a time "close friends" drift. Some are like flotsam visible somewhere on the radar of social networking sites. Some are out of touch for months on end, but then one call and the distances set by time melt away. And then some are always in the background, a dish, a song, a movie, reminds us of them. Life has an intriguing churn of people indeed :)

 

 

Making peace

 As I grow older I feel making peace is a very crucial life skill. Making peace with circumstances and environment. I am awaiting the outcome of an endeavor today. Specifically I am awaiting the results of an interview today. There are many pros to the change. I am really eager for the change. I am very anxious for the outcome. There was an odd sense of unrest since morning. 

But then I saw my team mate log off post lunch (a perk of being a very critical, experienced and long standing member of the team or an afternoon holiday - I am not sure). But it made me introspect about what I have. The relative trust of my team. The lack of judgement when I log off early to pick the kids or take a day off in short notice. And instead of being restless for the outcome of something in the future I chose to be peaceful for what I have. 

It is an acquired skill. I still get annoyed if it starts raining when I am planning a run. I get very irritated when my code fails  for a test when its nearly clear for going into production. I get jittery when I take up a new venture. But making peace with what is there currently makes life so much better.